#everyone wants to be a contrarian

[random-autie-fangirl]

Shoutout to a bunch of voices crushing on the Razor

Voice of the Broken: She doesn't want us. Voice of the Contrarian: You're just saying that because you want her to be into you. Voice of the Broken: I know. I thought I was being obvious.

Voice of the Paranoid: Maybe it'll work! Maybe it'll throw her off. I know I'd be thrown off if she started flirting with us. Voice of the Contrarian: Yeah, because you'd be into it. Voice of the Paranoid: No comment.

Voice of the Stubborn: I'm into it. Voice of the Cheated: I can't say I mind either. If it weren't for all the cheating, I'd say she's pretty cute.

Bonus:

Hero doesn't know if he's into the Razor

#slay the princess #the razor #shifting quiet #broken paranoid stubborn cheated contrarian and smitten: I like the kind of woman who can actually just kill me #hey look! I did a thing #i'm sorry this is so funny #six of them! #hunted explicity doesn't want to flirt with her #opportunist cold and skeptic can't show up here #I didn't give smitten's line because everyone knows about him #got these quotes from tvtropes by the way #also love contra being the one to nudge his buddies and go like “you liiiikkke her don't you?”

[highfunctioningfleshrule63]

hey, your video compilation of 4chan post about shield is a great ressource for fandom psychology. Interesting to see another user who lurk the wrestling board and use tumblr. Did you ever work on compilation of the tumblr fandom during the peak of the shield era ? I did not research it yet. xoxo

glad someone liked that video, only in times when im super fixated on something will i end up searching through the 4chan archives for more content...unfortunately 4chan vernacular tends to get a laugh out of me (if it isnt absolute lowtier content, had to scrape through a lot of that). the shield stuff i tried to get from when it was at its peak and you'll see posts on there from 2013+, but i also got modern stuff now bc the boardspeak actually changed with it.

ironically it is way easier to deepdive and compile stuff from 4chan bc it has a much better archival system than tumblr; ive also looked for lots of old stuff on deviantart due to the crossover but i found that it has a pretty shitty way of archiving/sorting older posts (just like on here. ive been on tumblr since 13 so i know what sorts of areas to look for, but its still very hard to find it directly on here. i havent spent as much time as i did getting those posts for that video so i can try harder.)

fandom psychology is interesting to me too so im happy you saw my video with that angle. ive collected lots of old shield fangirl content off of sites like weheartit and pinterest (ironically those are often better at keeping images up for longer periods of time) too but i didnt know if i should make a comp, maybe i will. i also looked through random forums and places like lolcow dot farms (which only really granted one of the screenshots...not too much discussion over there for good or bad. i was hoping to find discussion abt shieldfangirls or wrestling rpf but surprisingly they didnt think to make a "point and laugh" thread abt those topics). i find it interesting how much shieldrelated psychosis was on both sides of the spectrum (tumblr vs 4chan)....i could talk more on it but im a little brainless and sleep deprived rn

heres some extras i had that didnt make the cut (plus just some of my favorites):

and these were from a thread talking abt the modern stereotypical tumblr wrestling fan (specifically talking abt aedubs young bucks fans/the elite fans)

(*fangirl in this is a term im using loosely of course)

#surprisingly there is actually LESS shield blingees than dx or cm punk blingees. that at least i could find. theres a large number of #desktop background edits from deviantart and content like the fanfic edits/“outfits i would wear to meet the shield”/ogflowercrown phone bg #collages. and the like. i could compile all this shit i just didnt think it mattered to anyone LOL #sorry for the long post everyone #the most interesting thing abt the shields hayday and eventual fall on 4chan was 1) how many guys unironically loved seth up until he #“turned shoot faggot”/or the first knee injury. he was a fan favorite on there even with the contrarian posters saying otherwise (most of #4chan is just being. the contrarian so that tracks). and 2) the huge divide between guys who hated ambrose (usually bc he was over with #female fans...theres still that divide with how straight men dont understand favs among women. also goes along w my noted difference in fav #among queer men/women etc etc - but they would mask this by saying they hated that he was a jobber (true) or his inring technique was slopp #) and guys who adored ambrose bc he was a promo guy...they loved his early promos/“he just like me fr”.. (and a large grouping of dudes who #would call him cute). i dunno just stuff i noticed #also. obviously a lotta mox hate due to dickriding cornette #the shields peak is interesting to me so i might continue to compile more shit like this when i get the time. i have the shield dvds too #and wanted to do a LONG journey of p1rat1n6 all their scenes off of pcock while i still have my sub. but it would take a while #also. love ur acc bc i too enjoy thinkin abt the fem versions of dude wrestlers #fleshclipstag #tactical-asks

[asteria7fics]

I strongly believe that people who hate Kyle, and/or people who ship two-sided Kyman have never had someone in their friend group that they unironically could not stand, but still tried to see the good in them because having one bad friend isn't as bad as potentially having no friends at all.

Double points if that motherfucker developed a crush on you.

#south park #real story guys #asteria lore drop #this motherfucker pissed me off SO BAD #and everyone hated him #just a contrarian to piss people off #one of those kids that wanted to join the military to kill people #his actual words not mine #told me one time i didnt have any say on what happened to me (sexually) #screamed so loud at him the whole lunchroom was gagged #if i see that motherfucker its on SIGHT #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #anti kyman

[lanshappycorner]

milk is so good fr

#i used to hate it when i was a kid bc my mom told me i had to drink it and i wanted to be a little contrarian u know #but they were right milk is the shit its so good everyone should drink milk #unless ur lactose intolerant please do not drink milk

[toytulini]

If you get the urge to say shit on this post, consider: dont. not looking to engage in a dialogue about this, i will block you

i know this isnt whats gonna happen but god id love to learn nothing about that new hp show. i dont want to hear shit. not even about how bad it is. tmi. dont curse me with that info. why do you know how bad it is. why are you telling me. go look up a weird bug on wikipedia. or dont. dont tell me about it. dont put it on my dash.

#toy txt post #i know thats not whats going to happen tho. i know my dash will be flooded with gifs and screencaps and ppl who #maybe they didnt hatewatch it piracy or otherwise. maybe ill be generous. maybe they read an episode synopsis on wikipedia #and theyre telling us about all the new bad dumb shit theyre doing #and then we're all gonna get mad and spread it and talk about it nonstop #to shame everyone into not watching it #but like in order for this info to get out. one of you watched it. whyd you do that. whyd you tell me about it #and i know for my contrarian friends my wording it like this is making you want to watch it out of spite. its making it sound like #tasty fun spicy forbidden knowledge #no its just gonna be the same dumb stupid boring shit. maybe with an added dash of heinous transphobia antisemitism and racism etc #for gods sake go read a goddamn harry potter fanfiction instead #just dont put it on my fucking dash #im so ready for us to be done with this terfy fuck. for her to be irrelevant. i think thats what would hurt her most. she found a way #to thrive on the controversy shes feeding off the negative attention #and im not saying like dont call her out like i get we have to do that like i Get It i Know #that we cant afford to just ignore her bc shes literally using her billions to influence laws in the uk to hurt ppl #like i know #but god just imagine how much it would suck for her to wake up and nobody fucking cares either way #not mad at her anymore just Done. shes irrelevant #drop her. go do literally anything else #imagine how nice it would be if she puts a show out and nobody talks about it good or baf #bad*. and then theyll be less likely to do more. bc they cant count on it being clickbait that ppl are getting heated about #cos i think this is just. shes in her cancelled comedian netflix special era. shes getting specials about being cancelled and shes Only #getting them bc shes 'cancelled' cos if ppl didnt feel strongly about her good OR BAD it wouldnt get clicks it wouldnt get attention #i wish we could afford to do this i wish ppl would just be fucking allies to trans and jewish ppl about this #im so tired #anyway. ill leave reblogs on this for now. if anyone fucks up they get turned off

[mistbow]

“would you recommend this thing to others” my mode of enjoying things is that I enjoy things for what they are for me myself. who cares what other people think about what I like, we’re all different anyway that’s just a fact.

#some people act like it's a blight to them that i like something objectively so '''''bad''''' #like. i'm just enjoying myself here. why do you care that much #the more i look at others the more i see i just don't share the same opinions as a lot of people and that's fine #and i'm not even saying this to be a contrarian i genuinely just accept that we disagree and sometimes. just sometimes. i happen to be in #the minority and again that's /fine/ #when things like this happen we just have to agree to disagree and just for the sake of the sanity of us both #i will try to distance myself from others. in this case the larger fandom #and is that not what all we want anyway #people care too much about cultivating a community when there's none and trying so hard to be welcoming to everyone when #that's almost impossible imo #again why do a lot of people just assume that when i yell about things into the void it means i try to be '''objective''' #and Convince others #when that's not at all my aim #if you agree with what i'm saying that's fine. good for me even i guess. #but i don't care if you think what i'm saying is bs either lol #just let me yell in peace #whether there are people out there willing to listen or not is secondary #mino rants

[egg-emperor]

I know all the exact things I could do to make my Eggman content way more popular but I genuinely believe and like and are interested in doing all the exact opposite of it all, not out of spite but because I genuinely want to. that's my curse lol

#and everyone accuses me of being an asshole and contrarian but it's just how I feel genuinely aaghhhh #I'm just too aro to be on board with the romantic shipping and I'm not interested in family dynamics #I'm not interested in Eggman being good or empathetic and I'm not interested in the movies at all or Boom that much #and I'm hardly wholesome and lust over the versions nobody wants #Eggman is finally more popular after 16 years of me being a fan of him but nobody likes the things I was always posting about prior #everyone likes the exact opposite so I'm not with the cool kids #pain lol #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post

[cansglasschrome]

i told my therapist about the movie incident and she was like “you know it’s ok to watch fun things right?” and i was like madison i can not articulate how much that’s what i thought i was doing

#sorry to keep talking about it it was just sooooo unexpected and so much #i did tell her #i just like ignored everything about the perks of being a wallflower when the movie came out #i was a contrarian and better than everyone else for not wanting to watch it #so i knew nothing about the plot #so i thought since i am no longer that way and enjoy a cheesey high school plot from time to time #that’s what i would watch #but um nope #oat post

[shaggymemes]

fascinating that when you tell people "you have to learn the rules to break them" when talking about drawing/painting etc everyone nods and agrees but the second you say "you have to read books if you want to write better" there's a horde of contrarians begging to be the wrongest people ever all of a sudden

[odysseys-blood]

have ur opinion or w/e but its so odd to be so pressed abt this kind of thing. people like go be noticed. thats just a very basic human thing. the ones i see who complain the most or might "throw a fit" are people who are younger and lonely and maybe just maybe they want to feel like they've made a connection to someone and like being online has made it extremely bad but that doesnt necessarily mean its wrong for someone to still want an audience or anything. it feels so isolating sometimes to be one drop in the ocean yknow. hell id like a bigger following myself to a degree because it becomes an echo chamber in here lmao but you gotta give people time and space to ease out of that numbers are everything mindset not tear em down for it.

#cliffnotes/.txt #and the way we think about art in general is just like everyone wants to be famous! #you're supposed to have that drive to make your name or you'll fade into obscurity and no one will remember you #and being young or new to art thats terrifying! #it was pushed to me in school! make your name to make that cash or be starving forever #it was all about competition #and idc for that i want us to all make it #but putting other ppl down isnt the way yknow #fussing and being nasty aint the way sometimes someone else is nasty first but like #theres reasons #we can give grace to each other #also it always just feels like the most contrarian folks keep pushing this lmao #could probably tack on smthn abt white folk refusing community of any kind also but i shall be quiet

[the-acid-pear]

I love moist cr1tikal but I cannot get over him acting like "debate brained" is in any way shape or form and insult or a negative trait to have on its own. Like what, are we crying and pissing people people disagree with you? Be for real now.

#luly talks #like even in the context of the video alone the guy counter argumenting him had reason to say what he said he had beliefs and shit #it was just being a contrarian he was just disagreeing #and guess what? i disagree too! i think calling the cops on a customer because you refuse to give a service that is common enough and has #been done before is a very stupid and rude thing to do! sure he was also being a prick but literally give the man what he wants and move on #literally everyone wins. its being petty like um actually no ☝️ like bro wtf

[hausofneptune]

"spicy" takes / unpopular opinions

[astro notes no. 002]

IF IT DON’T APPLY LET IT FLY. everybody’s chart is different, if you have any aspects or placements mentioned in this post that don’t resonate with you, that means the energy didn’t manifest the way that i described due to other influences in your chart (or you being delusional, idk, you decide). also, when i speak on certain signs i'm referring to their archetype and the innate energy they express. just be mindful that there's a variety of ways these energies can manifest from person to person.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

y’all stay talking about how hard scorpios have it but y’all don’t talk about the struggles capricorns face. especially capricorn moons?? have y’all ever encountered a capricorn moon that wasn’t in therapy or didn’t desperately need it??? they be facing the most insane level of emotional distress and then turn around and pick up more shifts and start studying harder like that shit finna help lmfao

the discourse surrounding 8H synastry is... odd to me. i feel like some people (specifically the tumblr/tiktok girlies) are romanticizing trauma bonding. y’all can talk about how good the sex is all y’all want, but unless you and the person involved have a good amount of self-awareness and are spiritually evolved enough (especially if y'all have your own 8H placements in your own charts), i feel like you’re just setting yourself up to be in a “toxic” relationship with somebody. it could just be my aqua venus talking, but the whole “baring your soul” to someone and developing a possessive/jealous bond with them don't sound fun to me. i would rather perish.

everyone talks about how dramatic your saturn return is but why does no one bring up how traumatic your 12H profection years are? being 23 was literally one of the most unhinged experiences i’ve ever had 

i be tryna advocate for geminis because i know they’re just lil creative mercurial sponges and wanna have enough knowledge to see everything from every side… but why do some of them act like that? and you know what i mean. especially the more “unevolved” gemini placements, they be doing the most insane level of mental acrobatics and be contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian

i have to say this as an 8H moon, i understand what y’all mean when y’all say 8H, scorpio, and plutonian placements usually face a lot of vitriol from others for no reason, but honestly, some of y’all be using that as a justification for being paranoid and manipulative. operating from a place of pain, assuming that everybody is out to get you, and being hyper-vigilant of people’s intentions isn’t the type of behavior anyone should be trying to normalize. let that hurt go pookie <3

i feel like this has been spoken about before but i’ll never understand why water signs are constantly stereotyped as the emotional crybabies of the zodiac but fire signs aren’t? water signs can definitely be sensitive and existential but prominent fire placements will literally lose their mind over the smallest shit and then be cool 10 minutes later… yes i’m looking at you aries

speaking of aries, can we address the way that they’re literally the toddlers of the zodiac and very much so behave like it? idk as a pisces i have a soft spot for them, i love their childlike, carefree spirit, and the way they be throwing tantrums for fun tickles me 

this note doesn’t pertain particularly to signs/placements but astrology in general. i am begging y’all (specifically the people who are newer/beginners to astrology) to use traditional studies as a starting point and to stop taking notes from these tiktoks and tumblr posts. there are astrologers on these platforms who have done the work and studied (love y'all), but there are a plethora who haven’t. i saw a post the other day where somebody said squares/oppositions don’t indicate conflict in a chart and i felt like i was losing my damn mind. i definitely recommend the astrology podcast as a starting point for beginners, chris brennan is amazing and i still find myself re-listening to a lot of his content 

i talked to one of my mutuals the other day about this, but astrology is such an amazing tool, and y’all should use it for so much more than self-validation. y’all do not need to have a certain venus placement to be considered pretty. y'all do not need certain mercury or uranus placements to be considered intelligent/creative. y’all do not have to rely on [insert random asteroid here] to know what your future spouse is gonna look like, when/where y’all are gonna meet, how they’re gonna perceive you, etc. etc. etc. i understand the hype around shit like that is due to social conditioning/constructs, but there are so many more important, relevant things you can learn about yourself through astrology that don’t revolve around "aesthetics"

the girls are gonna hate me for this one, but i don’t understand the hype around lilith. and i say this as someone with a tight sextile between my sun and BML. there’s three versions of it, two of which don’t even technically exist, and then there’s a mean/true version that affects the accuracy. if anyone has more knowledge than me on the subject feel free to give me your input, because i feel like the insane amount of attention lilith gets has to do more with the whole “dark feminine archetype” trend that the tiktok/tumblr girlies love and less to do with its relevance from an astrology/astronomical lens (i feel this way about most asteroids honestly, but we’ll wake up that tea another time)

i don’t wanna get dragged so imma end this here, as always let me know if y’all have any aspects/placements mentioned and tell me how they manifest in your life/personality! and if you have any insight feel free to let me know as well. and don’t be messy. you will be blocked expeditiously. <3

click here to read part two!

#astro notes #astro observations #nepnotes #nepnotes2 #astrology aspects #astrology #capricorn moon #8h synastry #8h placements #profection years #12h profection year #birth chart observations #lilith aspects #black moon lilith #gemini placements #gemini astrology #pluto aspects #pluto astrology #aries placements #aries astrology #birth chart #astro community #astrology observations #astroblr #astrology notes #birth chart reading

[they-bite]

miscellaneous things i appreciate about wendell & wild:

-the nuance built into kat’s punkness. yes, she absolutely is a contrarian rebellious teenager, but it’s also genuinely how she’s always been. it’s not portrayed as rebellion for rebellion’s sake, it’s kat’s way of reasserting her identity and her connection to her parents when she’s spent years having her choices stripped from her.

-how many of the characters like kat. raúl sees a kindred spirit. siobhan wants to be her friend and is being kind in the way she knows how. sister helley reaches out to her even before she becomes a hell maiden. wendell & wild are in awe of her. ms. hunter doesn’t let her position prevent her from treating kat like an individual with agency and importance. it’s heartening that kat, a character defined by guilt both personal and state-issued, is coming into a setting where people genuinely want to see her thrive.

-the future sequence where it’s revealed she stays in rust bank and helps restore it to its former glory made me cry. it’s what they all deserve.

-no one has any “it’s my style” excuses for whitewashing when w&w gave us a litany of black characters with individually distinct features.

-even the demons have more emotional intelligence than your average corporate CEO.

-“you don’t get to smack me”

-when all that’s left of the memory monster is the memory of losing her parents, kat hugs it, letting it dissolve into her. she’s acknowledging that the choices she’s made and the things that’ve happened to her have gotten her to this point, but she’s absolving herself of the guilt — embracing her past instead of hating herself for it.

-raúl’s struggles as a trans boy aren’t framed as oppression porn. siobhan’s accidental deadnaming is just that — an accident— and undoubtedly one she’ll learn from in the future. his mother supports him without reservation. kat doesn’t even make note of it. they could’ve easily added catty smiles, tired sighs and “wait, you’re trans?” moments, but they didn’t. raúl is a human being whose transness informs his life without being crushed by it.

-siobhan’s arc is wonderful. she doesn’t become kat and raúl’s personal savior, she doesn’t angst over what she has to do, the story never becomes about her — but she uses her position (read: her class privilege) to do what she can. she becomes part of the solution.

-i know the last two points read like “duh, everyone should be doing that” but it’s such a relief to have a film get these things right, unapologetically so and without a core of virtue signaling. it’s nice to not have the stories we want told held for ransom, then declawed by producers because pissing off uninspired rich people would be bad for business.

#wendell and wild #wendell & wild spoilers #w&w #kat elliot #siobhan klaxon #no i will not shut up about this movie thank u

[myachiart]

@angrybandages_010 on instagram and I did a collab together! Please check out their piece of Korekiyo, it's so cool!! I think Angie would've made a great antagonist for V3, and her council could've had more of an impact on the story had it lasted for more than one chapter. She didn't trust the flashback lights (which is a good thing in hindsight), and her motivation for wanting everyone to stay safe by (praising Atua and by extension her cough cough) never leaving the academy automatically put her at odds with the protagonist's goal. She wasn't contrarian for the sake of being villainous, she had an actual, consistent reason for her actions (I love Kokichi, but dAMN the man couldn't decide whether he was pro or anti murder).

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #danganronpa fanart #angie yonaga #the ultimate artist #my god we were robbed. #colorful #paint splatter #brown skin #danganronpa killing harmony #fanart #digital art #ibispaintx #danganronpa angie #just look at her #i know we needed a double murder #but why her??

[hvtqo]

🩷 headcanons —alhaitham as your bf

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: fluff, just cutesy stuff i daydream about

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warning: nsfw at the end, afab! reader.

・❥・about:

just a bunch of hcs of how i think haitham would act as your boyfriend <33 there's some participation from kaveh as well ! (no, not a threesome or anything 😭)

↓ read under the cut ↓

❛ pre-relatioship ༉‧₊˚

haitham wouldn't be the first to give the green light in the relationship. he would definitely observe you and wait until you show signs of liking him, but he would do so very subtly, and probably wouldn't make the first step directly himself.

but i do feel like he'd be the type to make up excuses to be around you. and you'd be confused because he wouldn't be overt about it either. like a cat just being there... silently demanding attention.

he'd be specially attracted to your intellect. he'd probably ask you questions about your preferred research topics or engage in discussion with you. like sure he can think you're fine asf, but i think he'd fall for your way of seeing things and your intelligence.

you'd notice he likes you likes you when you see him more disposed to listen and learn from you than to contradict you. he's such a contrarian, sometimes just even assuming the opposite point of view from others for simple amusement, not because he actually believes what he's arguing for. but with you he gets to shut up sometimes lol

random gifts left over your desk without you asking for them. a book you've been meaning to buy but never have the chance to. the flowers you saw the other day and thought were beautiful. a keychain that reminded him of you. anything you casually comment that you'd like to have. it pops up.

and then you pretend you don't know it was him who bought those things for you. you left your desk for a minute to go for a coffee, or to the bathroom, or whatever. that's when he comes in and leaves a cute silver necklace there. it has a little ornament in the shape of the moon, which you've mentioned you adore the sight of. he doesn't really get why you find a generic spatial rock so amusing even though you've explained to him it's about the poetry and the symbolism of it, not only it's function or form in space.

he just ended up accepting that you love the moon and the stars and gave into it, associating you with them. before you come back he leaves. you find the necklace and smirk to yourself. you know it was him who got it for you, of course. the next day, you wear it proudly but don't mention it to him.

in fact, you both don't even talk to one another; the only recognition he gets for his gift is a gentle glance across the room. the silver moon glistens over your chest. you smile. he lowers his glance back to his book, and you don't notice the tiny smirk on his face after that.

of course, this subtle tension builds up over the weeks. i feel like haitham, even though he wouldn't directly make the first move, would get impatient. he'd probably scheme a way for you to end up asking him out. you'd definitely fall for it without knowing it was his plan all along to make you confess first.

another thing is that he doesn't come up with all this by himself. he's got you fooled though because he loves the praise and the light in your face when you realize he's responsible for everything.

but no, he's a liar. he definitely asks kaveh and the boys for advice. actually, all of them come up with very specific ways to win you over. kaveh is a romantic and he's always making sure alhaitham doesn't fuck up lol

“just flowers?” a grimace settles on kaveh's face. “yes” alhaitham says, “isn't that what everyone wants? a bouquet? the classic thing?”

“no” kaveh scoffs. “it's not about the flowers, it's about the intention. anyone can go up to her and give her a bouquet of flowers. also, what's special about a bouquet? the flowers will wither in a week. that can be representative of your relationship. be more original.”

so he brings you a bunch of plants instead that you can hang on your ceiling in your room. it looks quite decorative. now everytime you walk to your room and see the hanging plants, you think of him.

he also sends kaveh to ask you things. like what you're into and what type of person you'd date. and like you know he's asking for him, but you play along.

you even tease them a bit.

“i'm into people who can dance” you confess. “it's just so sexy to see a man who can move. why are you asking though? you're not planning on taking me out, are you?” you rise a brow.

“oh, no, not me” kaveh giggles nervously. later in the day he finds haitham scrolling on his phone at the couch. kaveh takes his phone away, which obviously upsets him, and shuts off his headphones.

he pulls him up, making him stand. that's when haitham notices the music. he gets a little nervous but won't show it. “what are you doing?” he asks defensively.

“teaching you how to move” kaveh replies, and the lesson begins.

❛ while dating ༉‧₊˚

so i feel like after the ordeal that making you his girlfriend was, he'd be the type to grasp onto you and not let you go. not easily, at least.

he's lasting. like if you don't end up marrying this man, at least he's gonna be one of the longest relationships of your life.

no over-the-top displays of affection, though. the subtlety continues. and it secures the duration and firmness of your bond. this man's the type to do rather than say. the way he pampers you is through the little things.

like for example, he keeps perfect track of your cycle. even if you're not regular. he knows when you're ovulating (you get it 😌) and when you're extra sensitive because your periods coming.

“did it come?” he asks casually. you frown, because you've never mentioned it. “yes. just this morning” you guess what he's talking about. “good.” he replies. “how do you know?” you rise a brow. he rests his eyes on you. “two days ago you cried because a bee stung me accidentally and died. you cried because it ‘sacrificed itself for me’. and you buried it. under plants.”

“oh”

“yeah”

of course, he also takes care that you have everything you need, because you can be a little forgetful at times. so you go to the store and while you're wandering the halls in search for candies and chocolate, he grabs a pack of pads and tea and face masks and stuff for you to relax during this time.

ON THE OTHER HAND, he's not the one to easily accept gifts from you. he appreciates them though it's just that he's the type to think of effectiveness and utility when he buys you stuff, while you only buy him things that you find cute or that remind you of him.

like you know you could get him a cute green sweater and he'd be like “i dont need this”, and you'd roll your eyes (he'd wear it nonetheless, because he loves the texture).

so over time you learn to stick to gift him things that have a purpose. books that you know he'd find interesting, perhaps, and that you've read yourself so that you can share something. utensils and tools and stuff that “works”. although you still bring him the occasional trinket or plushie at times.

alhaitham is not a morning person. most often than not you're the one cooking breakfast and cleaning up at early hours. but whenever it happens that he wakes up first and surprises you with breakfast, you appreciate it. he's not the best cook either but he's learned to prepare your favorite dishes perfectly.

i hc you spending time together doing separate tasks or being in silence. he'd be researching, writing, at one side of the room, and you'd be playing videogames or giggling at tiktoks.

“lmao you” you show him a random video, and he glances at it slightly. not a sign of amusement on his face, but you perceive a tiny smirk once you pull back.

also. he helps you with school all the time. you have an essay to deliver in two days and you haven't done a thing? he'll write it for you. *but* this is not free labour. you're gonna have to do something for him as well.

you bargain with him successfully. he writes your essay and you say you'll give him a surprise. the surprise? a candy. he's unimpressed at first, but he shakes his head and smiles and says it's exactly what he was expecting in return.

not really though, you know it. you're just teasing him. it's not like he's some sort of fairy that you can bring candies to and he'll grant your every wish.

i mean he kind of is, but no. so you end up actually paying him back some other way.

and surprise ! your essay gets the best note. alright, it's not like he did all the work. of course, most ideas are yours, he just wrote them eloquently. the teacher praises you. you feel a little bad because you're basically lying but haitham assures you to calm down. he's a scribe nonetheless, and you basically “dictated” the essay to him.

so you have this little thing that you're absolutely in love with life's casualties. whenever you saw a dog passing by you'd scream “dog!” excitedly and sometimes walk up to it and pet it, interrupting haitham mid-sentence (or yourself).

now whenever you're down or distracted at something he's the one to point “dog.” in a lower tone at you. and you rise your glance, see doggy passing by, and you smile, and feel better. “aw, dog” you repeat.

❛ nsfw ༉‧₊˚

he's very touchy, ok? that's his love language. like you're cooking and he casually comes up behind you and grabs your waist, hugs you, and slowly swings you from side to side, very subtle. he lays his chin over your shoulder and watches whatever you've got on the stove.

and then he leaves without saying a word, and you feel the coldness left behind by his absence, making you want him even more.

hes also the type to absentmindedly touch you when you're relaxing. perhaps its even become a form of stimming for him.

you'd have your legs resting on his lap as he reads a passage of his book to you, and you have your eyes close, and he caresses your leg with the other hand.

he's most often than not the one to begin things. he does it that way, making you think you're the one throwing yourself at him, but in fact he's been heating you up in subtle ways the whole day... with little glances and touches and even words.

lmao like this man is conditioning you

like over time you understand the cues and now whenever he does a move like that casually you think to yourself. “oh” and you surprise him later wearing a cute little set of lingerie for him. now who's got the upper hand?

like i feel you've got all of these secret games between you that others don't know about. like this one. who'll give in first? who'll fall first for it? it's so fun.

sometimes you take it as far as making a move in public. you know others don't understand your little cues, it's just between you and him, but you love to see him get a bit shy in front of everyone.

OF COURSE, haitham is a curious type of person. if he's gonna do something, he's gonna do it well. he's not afraid or ashamed of experimenting in the bedroom. so you can come up with all sorts of ideas and he'll probably give them a try.

he's a dom. like any type of dom you want. soft dom, hard dom, whatever. you communicate very openly with him. but it's hard for him to give up control. whenever he accepts to let you dom he's teasing you the whole time.

this man likes being in control ok that's why he's so secretive and stuff. let him be

i feel like he's got a lot of stamina but he gets so sleepy. like im sure he sleeps a lot. just in general not like just after sex.

he can be rough too. and emotional. hes a tongue type of guy. in many ways; he doesn't just love licking, he also loves conversation. praising. degrading. teasing. just words.

he'd be constantly paying attention to your body language to see what you like and dont. he becomes very communicative about this so he's prompting you to speak, approve, and tell him directly if you like something or not.

he loves the sight when you're on top though. just. your body over his. and the way the sweat rolls down your neck into your collarbones. he grasps at your thighs roughly. you feel his fingers burying. and he loves the way you bounce. he won't admit it though, but he does stare in awe when you don't see.

he also won't ask you but he's often hoping you'll give him. like also seeing you on your knees, mouth open, ready for him... he looks forward to it. and you know he loves this part so you don't make it so available to him.

he loves you biting and scratching, but specially biting. he loves the tears rolling down your eyes out of pleasure and the blush on your cheeks.

thrusts are deep and rough. he goes in all the fucking way, deep. he doesn't like doing things mildly anyway. there's also a specific rhythm, but he likes taking unpredictable variation and will sometimes begin thrusting really fast and hard just when you were expecting a slower movement.

he's always ready for aftercare as well. like i just feel like he's a very organized and prepared dude, so he wouldn't do things out of the blue. whenever you start things he's already got everything there for when you finish.

and then you cuddle to sleep and you wake up the next morning... and he's horny again. he's also the type to appreciate some cockwarming after the act.

he's got a high sex drive when it comes to you 😔

oh also i don't feel like you're his first but he's definitely not that experience when you start dating. he learns on the way and through research lol but i don't feel like he's got that high of a body count. NOT LIKE KAVEH AT LEAST.

ta-da~ you've reach the end! if you've come this far thanks for reading <3 reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated ! let me know your thoughts or any other character you want me to write about 🩷🤍

#hv.headcanons #hv.oneshot #alhaitham #hv.smut #hv.haitham #kaveh #alhaitham headcanons #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham smut #genshin smut #genshin headcanons #alhaitham fluff #minors dni

[thatdogmagic]

Remember this smug as hell post?

Well, keep it in mind.

I'm going to give some people here the benefit of the doubt and go into this post with the assumption that they genuinely don't know how fucking awful the Tumblr """"porn filters"""" are for images deemed - or reported by users as - 'NSFW.'

This is a rehash of everything I wrote out before, but it's going over all of it in one big post, because this issue with community labels moves well beyond debates over what is and isn't NSFW. There are doublestandards within doublestandards, and no way at all for artists and creators to know for sure if their post is going to get blacklisted.

We're not merely talking about the fact that these filters exist. We're talking about the fact that they are wildly inconsistent, and that reported images aren't seen initially by a person so much as an extremely stupid algorithm. That's why there's the option to say 'this ruling was made in error.'

There are literally no set guidelines for what qualifies as NSFW, and what doesn't, when it comes to nudity, and to what characters those guidelines actually apply. Staff rulings do not match up to one another. They legitimately do not make sense. You cannot divine how a ruling is going to end up, and it is infuriating that staff is jerking us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted artists like us back.

Not only that, they were, yes: that fucking smug about it. In case you forgot, that 'cheater' picture is talking about people who fled the NSFW ban specifically.

Examples follow:

Both of these images were caught by the filters, and then appealed. The first one was (visibly, as you can see) downgraded to Everyone, in spite of the character showing more secondary sex characteristics than the first (breast, visible nipple).

Similarly, a male character showing a pube fluff was left alone, even in spite of being cited in my appeal on the second image.

Last, there is, as noted, this readily available image of Felicia, that you can find by searching 'darkstalkers Felicia' on the search bar. Did people forget that she's bottomless, and those aren't panties?

Using fluff to cover junk is an age-old trick for characters like this. And it clearly isn't a problem with the male character.

Further, you can go through just about any archive and see a ton of images that were not subject to community labels, many of which are much more racy, and much more legitimately "NSFW."

So, yes, beyond the disgust of Tumblr staff treating any body like mine as filthy and inherently sexual in nature, this is also about a system that is arbitrary, penalizes artists for no good reason, and has deeply opaque standards. You never know when a piece of yours is going to run afoul of a bot, or what a staff ruling will ultimately be, or why the ruling is there in the first place.

And that's bullshit. If you think it's anything other than bullshit, you're being a contrarian ass. Especially since a forced label absolutely WILL kill your visibility, where compared to implementing the label yourself. It is punitive, it is punishing, and I will say again: it is completely unnecessary to jerk us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted us back.

And now that we are, we're back to being treated like garbage, constantly having to guess what the rules actually mean, how they apply, and to which sorts of bodies they apply, all while watching our viewcounts on contested posts eat ten kinds of shit.

tl;dr, do not talk to me about 'following rules' when the rules are so ill-defined as to be quite literally useless, to me, and to every other artist on this website.

#tumblr #community labels #content filters #artists on tumblr