#even i make sure to limit how often i check my voicemail/email when im off the clock

[gentil-minou]

Hi this is a personal ask please feel free to ignore this if you dont want to respond I will take no offense and completely understand.

This is both rant and more of an absolute no idea what to do so resources would help situation.

My best friend is probably depressed, and ive been the only person who cares enough to help them with it. Our friends have turned their back in one way or another and our families have basically said deal with it on your own. So I cant go to anyone for help, i talk to a few people a little bit abt taking care of my friend but theyre not people who can physically help us. My problem is just I’m running out of patience and im frusterated and stressed and upset. I dont blame my friend for any of their problems and im trying my absolute best to take care of them while taking care of myself but im running out of steam and I dont have any way to safely recharge without hurting them? Cuz if i take a break there is no one willing to step in so that I can recharge and come back to help. My friend is aware that I do need to take breaks but they arent exactly in the mindset to realize well how much Im stretching myself to help.

A lot of the resources ive looked at say: find a support group! Except I cant turn to my friends or family for this so I dont know what my other options are, I would absolutely love any resources that might help.

Hey anon, this isn't too personal or triggering so don't worry i will do my best.

First of all, I want to praise you for trying your best all this time to support your friend, but most of all I'm so so so proud of you for recognizing when you are reaching your limits. You're doing so much for your friend, and it's amazing but can be something so taxing. And speaking as someone who was like your friend, they are likely so grateful for you even if they don't show it, and maybe they don't realize how scared you must be but I think one day they will.

I talked about ways to find support for yourself when you don't have access to therapy here:

But in your case the thing I need to say is: dont be afraid to get an adult or parents or counselor or even in the worst case call them an ambulance.

You didn't mention your age but when a client comes to me with this sort of thing the first thing I tell them is to tell an adult like a school counseolr/teacher or even your/their parents. This might seem really scary, because it feels like a breech of trust but that means nothing when someone's life is on the line.

Second, encourage your friend to get professional support and explain her you've been feeling. Let them know, with as much love and care as possible, "I love you and I really want to help you, but I need to take care of myself too. How can I help you get the help you need?"

I once had a friend sit with me as I made my first therapy appointment. That friend also held my hand and walked with me to that appointment, and then waited for me outside. And that was the best help o ever got. Let your friend know you want to help them and show them that you can. Sit with them on voice chat while they call the therapist. Wait outside the counselors office. Do all that you can to help them, but most of all let yourself and them acknowledge that you aren't the one who can help them but that you can still be there for them by being their friend.

Finally, search for "crisis services near me". Show them to your friend and encourage them to call thoae hotlines (the natuonal suicide hotline has saved my life multiple times). Next time they go to you for support and its too much for you, let them know and tell them "hey I'm going to call them and sit with you while you talk to them."

The line between friend and therapist can get blurry, but that's why it's important to set your boundaries. And remember that you need to care for yourself first of all.

#sorry if this was too rambly #i really do wish you all the best darling #even i make sure to limit how often i check my voicemail/email when im off the clock #you arent trained to be a therapist and you shouldnt have to be #mental health #asked and answered #tw 'depression' #tw 'burnout'