#ducky's gender misadventures

[agayconcept]

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#ughhh noooO #last endo appt: ur vitamins r too low to go for ur top surgery consult. u need the highest prescription available for the next 3 months #*does that* #this endo appt: good news ur vitamins r where they need to be! bad news now ur cholesterol is too high for the consult. need to get it down #dhdjdjfj #@ my body: get it together !!! this is fuckin transphobic !!!! #god i just want my mf surgery #and i can actually get it Rly Soon bc im going private instead of public #but noooOoooo my dumpster-fire of a disabled body says otherwise #>:c #fuming tbh #aiyaiyai it never ends #welp. guess i gotta exercise more- oh waiT. i fuckin cant bc of my disabilities. fuck. FACK. #i h8 everything #idk how to get it down when the main 3 ways to do that r: #a) change ur diet which i already did a year ago and i dont eat anything that raises cholesterol #b) exercise which. i physically cannot do more of than i already struggle thru #c) medication that ik for a fact they wont prescribe me. #soooo.....wtf am i supposed to do here. fr #fml #ducky's gender misadventures

[agayconcept]

i have my next HRT / gender affirming care appt today wish me luck ✌️🏳️‍⚧️🧃

#esp bc its awful weather so im gonna be in hella pain the whole time. lovely. #gotta ask abt some stuff and then mainly figure out the first few steps of dozens to get me approved for top surgery within a few years #might also stop and get myself a better wrist brace from the pharmacy in that building too bc my thumb is getting more fucked by the day #anywho #send good vibes y'all i could use em #diary #ducky's gender misadventure

[agayconcept]

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#genuinely having a rly hard time rn #w the reality that bc i injured myself badly this week and had to go to the hospital #i had to miss ans reachedule my next gender affieming appt #which was the first top surgery consult of many (original one to send in application) #and they cant fit me in for another FOUR MONTHS #which means my transition will be 4 months behind #on top of the YEARS its gonna take me to get the surgery #like #i just #havent stopped crying for days #after yeara of fighting the system to even get these appts and my hrt etc #only to have a dumb injury put me even further behind #im just like. devastated. #truly so so upset #(yes ik 4 months isnt that long. but u have to understand that i nearly killed myself last year bc of being denied care) #(and now those feelings r right back and bigger than ever.) #(im just. i rly wanna fuckin die like 10 times a day rn. i rly do.) #suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #ducky's gender misadventure #*pls ignore typos my phone is broken bc i dropped it when i fell and hurt my back