Hey moms of advanced three year olds!!!
How do you deal with the desire to find a toddler bed that locks??
Mine just figured out how to unlock doors, and woke up two hours earlier than usual to get into the bathroom and play with the Vaseline, makeup, shaving razors, cough medicine, and Vics vaporub!
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Might be a good time to bring up that IyaKimi contains graphic abuse scenes.
Oniyama Mizuki - Iyagatteru Kimi ga Suki
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Seriously though, the general canon of TMNT 2k3 must be such a wild ride for Robin O'Neill.
Like. Here is your big sister, brainiac maniac science superstar, the smart one, the one who has it all figured out and who probably has three PhDs by the time she's 23 and the story begins. April just landed her Dream Job with an actual Celebrity Scientist and she is going to create Big Science that will Help Lots of People and--
--and she's quit her job one month in and announces she is going to reopen your late parents' antiquities shop now. Take some time to Find Herself, whatever that means. OK, right, we can work with that, what bout--
--her shop burns to the ground, and April prompty goes completely AWOL for three months. Great! Amazing! You're not panicking at all! This is April you're talking about, after all - the smart one, the good one, who has it all together, and she is dating Casey Jones, neighborhood vigilante now.
HOW DID THEY EVEN MEET.
So you're like. OK. I should probably go to New York and look into that. Meanwhile April rebuilds the antique shop brick by brick and moves back in, things get serious with Casey Jones, she keeps offhandedly mentioning a bunch of Italian men that like, fix her boiler and stuff, she's fine. She's fine. You don't think she's fine.
Before you can do anything about it, she goes AWOL for a few months again.
You eventually find out she has been hanging out with her boyfriend's country mum at a derelict farm. Cleaning. Cooking, sort of thing. Maybe you're a bit concerned now. Just a bit. You decide you will definitely visit her soon. She excitedly mentions that she has started practising kendo using a real sword, and her teacher is this old guy who gives her lessons one on one. You move your visit forward.
So you go to New York. You enter her apartment, which is the one you grew up in, rebuilt eerily similarly to how you remember it. Your sister is happy to see you. She's just going to nip out for a minute to grab some milk. That's fine. You go through the list of things to talk to her about in your head one more time: how are you? how are you Really? let's do some girly things, without the boyfriend and the teacher and the Italian men. Just us girls. Won't that be nice?
April comes back upstairs. You'll never guess who she ran into on her way to the shops!
Behind her stands your beloved uncle Augie, who went missing fifteen years ago without a trace.
Like. Holy. Shit.
That same evening, as you're trying to work out the new sleeping arrangements now there's three of you in the flat for the night, you pull uncle Augie aside for a moment. You're worried about April, you say. Something has been going on with her, and it's weird.
Uncle Augie looks at you for a long moment. His clothing is ripped, his beard is a growth on his face. There are deep lines on his face that you don't remember, marked not by smiles and laughter, but by sadness and fear. His arms are tree trunks. He smells like he hasn't showered in a month.
Nah, he says. I think April's doing just fine.
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Granite Pillars! Granite Pillars? What are your thoughts on the recent controversial noise milking technique that claims that the fundamental radioelectro signals are, in fact, obsolete compared to geothermal?
There are some downfalls to living this long... everything new always comes as a surprise. I also usually specialize in biopsychological theorizing, so this isn't quite my area of expertise... perhaps my neighbor Unit Of Radioactive Decay would know more about this?
[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]
GP: I...
GP: Hm...
GP: I admit that I am getting old...
GP: I have never heard of any "noise milking" techniques, much less any controversial new techniques...
GP: My apologies.
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