“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”
Voltaire
The night air was cold. Leon wondered if it was a bit of the world outside leaking in, the mountain chill reaching into the magically sealed environment of the academy. There was much he wanted to know about how the whole place worked, much he felt he needed to know. Such information could become vital in the future, after all.
Melaina had called him up to the roof to talk, but for the most part, they had only sat in silence. Neither of them was a particularly sociable person, and the air was thick with tension. They had attended classes together, but had not spoken at length since the infirmary. Not since their duel.
It was Leon who finally broke the silence, unable to bear the weight of it. “I wonder how the weather works,” he said, “How they keep the academy livable despite Signore’s best efforts.”
Melaina shrugged. “Been here for years, haven’t learned that yet.”
“Fair enough.” Leon looked down at the courtyard below. He scanned his eyes over it, checking for any positions where someone might be hidden from his sight. It was a hard habit to break, expecting attackers from every direction.
Without warning, a finger jabbed into his shoulder. Melaina, brow furrowed and mouth in a hard line, was looking into his eyes. “You’re doing it again. This...”
She sighed.
“This is what I wanted to talk about.” She gestured vaguely at Leon. “This is the answer to your question.”
Leon thought for a moment. “My question. Why you wanted to duel me in the first place?”
She nodded.
“You’ll have to elaborate, then.” He folded his arms and tried not to stare at the courtyard. “I’m not sure I follow your meaning.”
Melaina sighed again, harsher this time, and ruffled her hair with both hands. Finally, she put her hands on her hips and looked up at him. “What are you, Leon?”
The question caught him off guard. “Now I know I don’t follow.”
“Look at you. Always looking around, like you expect fighting to break out any moment-”
“In fairness, I’ve gotten in three fights and one duel already, and I’ve only been here a week.”
Melaina cleared her throat. “Always looking around, and the way you look at people... Like you’re sizing up an opponent.”
Leon pointed an accusatory finger in Melaina’s direction. “Again, you literally challenged me to a duel the first time we met. I think I’m justified.”
She shook her head. “There’s a difference. Most people here, they don’t see each other as enemies, even if they don’t get along or they plan on dueling. But you?”
Melaina let one hand fall to the hilt of her sword. Leon reacted as fast as his body would allow, but stopped short when he saw Melaina had stopped moving.
“You were about to cut me down, weren’t you?” Melaina’s tone was... Not accusatory, as Leon thought it would be. It was pained. “Everywhere you look, you see enemies. Everyone you look at, you make a plan to kill them, just in case.”
Leon removed his hand from the hilt of his own sword, where it had gone of its own will. He tried to open his mouth to reply, but no words came to him. Instead, he simply turned back to the courtyard, gripping the railing tight with both hands.
Melaina followed suit, leaning onto her elbows to watch the courtyard with him.
“I don’t know what your story is, Leon, but I see something in you that it seems like most people can’t.” She bit her lip for a moment before continuing, her voice softer than normal. “I can read people pretty well in battle, I think. I’ve got a reputation for it. I’ve won a lot of duels in my time at this academy, but you’re different.”
“I’m not that different,” Leon said, “You beat me pretty thoroughly, I thought.”
She shook her head. “You read my every move, I could see it. You knew exactly how to kill me, and you could’ve done it if you were faster, stronger. I saw it the moment we first locked eyes; you knew the method, even if you couldn’t pull it off yourself.”
Melaina scooted over on the railing to bump her shoulder against Leon’s arm. “I don’t hold it against you, but... It scared me, a bit. I’ve never seen that kind of look in someone’s eyes before. I felt like I had to fight you. A part of me thought I would die if I didn’t.”
Leon looked away. “I wouldn’t kill anyone here, I’m not...” The words caught in his throat. He wanted to say that he wasn’t a killer, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. “I’m not a threat, Melaina.”
“I fought you because I saw death in your eyes, Leon, that’s your answer.” Melaina averted her own gaze, and once again the two were silent, not daring to look at each other for a long time, until Melaina found the strength to speak again.
“I don’t think you’re a bad person, that’s not what I’m saying. And I’m not afraid of you, especially not now that I know I can beat you.”
“Harsh.”
“But that was a new experience for me, that little twinge I got. That inkling that you were capable of doing something to really hurt me. Most people can’t even come close, Arbiter or otherwise.”
“I know,” Leon said, “You’re pretty impressive with those blades of yours.”
“And you know your way around that hunk of metal you call a sword, at least in theory.”
“Harsh again,” Leon said.
Melaina tried to smile, even though she couldn’t face him. “So, I just want to know. What are you, Leon? Where did you learn to fight? What made you the way you are?“
Leon’s heart hurt. He struggled not to think of his past. He struggled to forget who he was. There was a long pause. “I don’t really want to talk about my past,” he said, “Please, don’t ask me again.”
Melaina suddenly stood upright, taking a few steps away from the railing. “Fine,” she said, “I won’t pry. But, do me this one favor, alright?”
Leon turned to look at her. “What favor?”
She threw a punch, connecting hard with his shoulder. Leon fought the urge to fight back, seeing her playful expression. There was no hostility in her eyes, he saw, only concern barely hidden behind a smile.
“Stick around. Fight me again some time. A few more times, maybe.” She dropped into a fighting stance. “Haven’t had a proper sparring partner in ages, you know. Everyone’s too afraid of Demon Melaina to give me a challenge.”
Leon chuckled, in spite of himself. “You’ve sure got a one-track mind.”
“Can you blame me?” She gave a couple of air-jabs in his direction. “I get so little excitement these days. I like the idea of having someone who can fight back around.”
“If I recall correctly, I spent most of our duel just dodging your blades.”
“Nobody’s perfect,” she said, her smile growing more sincere.
Leon sighed. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”
“Not likely.”
Despite everything, Leon smiled. It was a warm, real smile. The first one Melaina had seen on his face. The first one on his face in many years.
Leon hadn’t smiled like that since he was a child. Since before he became a killer. Since before he became a dead man.
And though he could not forget what he was, truly, it felt good to pretend to be alive. It felt good to pretend he was more than a weapon. It felt good, pretending he could ever deserve a better life than the one he had escaped.
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