building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:
it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.
it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.
it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.
the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.
do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!
i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.
and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)
and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.
“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”
and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?
if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.
the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.
i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.
moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.
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Sweet and Sour Dipplins
Why do I have this idea that no one can understand Juliana's applin like even pokemon are like what the heck dude when it gets really angry like it releases demonic noises that not even other applin's make but Juliana is just like he's my special guy don't worry he don't bite while everyone else is wondering what sort of demonic entity is possessing applin...
Also the idea of Drayton trying to get a selfie of Juliana and Kieran sleeping but failing is hilarious to me. I saw an headcanon of Kieran and Carmine's eyes glowing in the dark so the image of Drayton about to take a selfie when this demonic yellows open being like don't even think about it cracks me up
Oh my God the first paragraph made me laugh so hard and then I finally calmed down and then I got to your second one and just laughed more. My ribs hurt???
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I occasionally see the idea of a "normal jeff au" where Jeff never became a killer and was just a regular dude
and usually these aus just have it where the incident with Randy never happened and Jeff just continued to live out his life normally. Now that idea is cool and interesting but i had a thought, what if Jeff's a normal dude AFTER the incident.
Like instead of his mom going immediately to the idea of a late abortion she gets help for her son and he goes back to being a (slightly) normal kid, so you just got this 15 yr old in highschool looking like a half dead corpse doing algebra and running track or whatever kids do edrfgfdfvgb
what would life be like for Jeff i wonder, would kids continue to treat him harshly or would everyone be afraid of Jeff? Or would they just pity what he gone through or just treat him normally. How would his family life be affected by the events of Randy.
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oh my god willow 😭😭😭 i was studying at this cafe at night and this guy kept staring at me OVER HIS SHOULDER. like repeatedly. and then he’d quickly look at his lap when i caught him. he even changed seats later n his phone was pointed at me so i am praying it wasn’t recording. i’m safe now!!!! but i’m literally crazy for how pissed bkg would be to hear that this happened. so worried and so pissed. tells you to sneak a photo for your safety (i did and caught him looking into the camera) and for katsuki’s own sake as well if he decides to deal with the creep later on. even more pissed he wasn’t there is already rushing over to pick you. this is my way of coping! 😞
omg ???? how weird and creepy !!! i'm on the way give me your location i'm coming to pick you and up and i'm gonna beat thst guy up 🔫🔫🔫🔫
i feel like you come home and tell him like, "oh there was this weird guy at the cafe today," and he glances up at you from whatever he's working on, with a frown, and hums so you'll continue, and i feel like the more you tell him, the angrier he gets LOL like at first he's like "mhm, and then what?" and then you tell him more and then he's stops paying attention to anything else and then he stands up straight and crosses his arms, and then he puts his hands on his hips, and then he's asking you to describe the guy LOL he just gets angrier and angrier.
and he DEFINITELY is like........and you didn't call me right away WHY ???? 🤨🤨🤨🤨 bc if you had texted him about it, he'd be tracking your location and on the way in no time LOL
oh my friend 🥺 i'm glad you're safe now !!!! 🥺 how scary why are people weird !!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i'm gonna find that guy and dump milk over his head and pull his pants down in public and beat him up how dare he !!!!
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