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maydaymemer · 3 years

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Hitman 3 - First Impressions w/ Spoilers

I’m posting this just after I’ve beaten Hitman 3, and I wanted to do something productive with my experiences playing it both for when I look back on my first time playing this game and also to do something more than just play video games like a degenerate

If you want my basic yay or nay opinion I think Hitman 3’s great, maybe the best of the trilogy but I might just be burnt out on replaying 2’s levels and am not thinking right, but keep in mind this is after playing thru each level once. Not to say these levels don’t make good or bad first impressions for a reason but I know not to trust myself when I say I enjoy or dislike something especially a Hitman level after only a little time with it. Keep in mind I didn’t like Sapienza and liked Colorado at first, but at the same time my opinion of Whittleton Creek and Marrakesh either haven’t changed much or only gotten more positive with time. So it’s a roll of a dice

Anyway I’ve written down my notes on every level I’ve played right after finishing it, which I’ve put below. There are going to be spoilers of elements like mission stories (which I dabbled a little bit in) and objectives and I’d recommend going in as blind as possible with Hitman. I don’t mind spoilers myself but I think you feel smarter when you stumbled on half the shit you do in these games

Dubai: very strong opener. I think that some of the shortcut design, one of the few new features of 3, kind of limits up front exploration but I still really liked the verticality and how climbing up pipes could take you up like two floors. Targets seem to have the appropriate amount of blind spots, tho I’m not sure how I’d tackle Marcus in that big open area. To me this level reminds me of House of Cards but better, out of the other first levels of the trilogy (Paris, Hawke’s Bay and Dubai) I choose this as my favourite so far. I killed Marcus by snapping his neck after knocking him out in that white room near the elevator, I got caught and killed some witnesses only for Omar to find the bodies. I killed Carl by throwing him off the building, sacrificing his waiter to do so

Dartmoor: Actually managed to SA this one, I didn’t go forward with the murder mystery just yet as I wanted to see 1) if it could be cheesed since it’s a one target mission and b) to see how well it holds up without doing that. To see if it’s just a gimmick or not. Turns out? Pretty darn well. I did encounter some of the stuff I didn’t like about the Hitman 2 AI with Alexa, namely if you have a weapon out and she gets a slight glance at you she goes into lockdown and while trying to cheese her under a chandelier when she goes to meet with you/the detective. However, it was at least consistent this time until in WoA2, she never fell for me trying to cheese it whereas if this was Hitman 2 it’d work 50% of the time and drive you mad. I did manage to get her under a chandelier, because in this game’s case personal bodyguards are easier to get rid of and there’s usually only one if they have one so I was proud of that. I love doing non-laid out kills in Hitman, one of my favourite things. I love the level design here, the mansion is big and brooding and so is Alexa’s route it seems. I loved finding out the secrets like using the cane to open doorways and using the camera to find pieces of the code for the Edwards safe. I got the 9, 7 and 5 ones and was going to brute force the code but turns it the solution was 1975. The level takes atmospheric cues from Beldingford Manor but I got real Paris vibes from the verticality which I loved

Berlin: I thought this mission wouldn’t impress me with its gimmick but it’s my favourite so far. The atmosphere and rave soundtrack gave me chills, and THIS is how you do target AI. There are a total of eleven or twelve potential targets I think, and all of them use guard AI. You have to track down and kill at least five of them, giving a unique and dynamic gimmick for this mission which I’ll love to replay. Target routes seem good too and your first playthrough where you’re winging it is even more fun here when you don’t know where your targets are really coming from. The mission is also really surprisingly massive, it might be the biggest one so far despite only having ten disguises (I don’t think we’re going to top Miami’s 29). I also loved that you could poison some fast food and have a biker take it inside

Chongqing: this is a great example of the knee jerk nature of these first impressions, not that this level will be bad but I feel like I’m speaking a little too soon when I say this might be one of my favourite levels of the trilogy. I was a little disappointed when the level wasn’t Mumbai 2.0, being more vertical than horizontal in scale but I ate my words when I experienced it. This is probably the weirdest level of the trilogy but so cool at the same time. At first I tried getting Hush with his satellite dish, and sniping him from his little area. I died. Then I became a test subject and started messing with his brain, making him take a break and killing him when he’s at his desk. I got caught however and had to make a break for it. Then I infiltrated the ICA data banks by becoming the board member, but then I had to sneak into his apartment since I didn’t know the code, but then I heard the code when I answered his answering machine. I really like the introduction of keypads and hope they stay, they reward map knowledge and let you skip having every door be locked via lockpick. Then I distracted and KO-ed Imogen’s guard and pushed her off the data core railing. What proceeds is a great bit of fan service where it shows almost every target from the trilogy as 47 deletes the info ICA has on him and then one of my favourite moments of the series (in terms of scripted stuff, I’ll always prefer stuff like sniping Rico from the jungle) where you have to escape the burning facility while avoiding the now entirely hostile guards. I’m super glad this and other story beats are confirmed optional on replays, but I’d happily replay this regularly because it was so fun to Splinter Cell the level for the last minute

Mendoza: Another great level. I wasn’t expecting it to be so big but even that big field you can see over the balcony is explorable. Feels more like A Vintage Year throwback than Santa Fortuna was. I quite like the kill opportunities that I saw, sniping Yates from the top of his house and finding wine to serve Vidal was what I went for. Also love that Diana is in the level physically, she even hides behind a box if you caught an alert. Yates’ house is very intimate but very well designed. Wasn’t expecting the tactical wetsuit to be here as a disguise but it was a cool thing I found

The Train: this level is simultaneously an awesome and disappointing end to the trilogy. The idea itself is great and the hallucinations that begin the level are really imaginative, but that nightmare intro gameplay wise is just you walking forward. It’s the exact opposite of the reason why I like Hitman, I like Hitman because it isn’t like those triple A “walk forward while dialogue plays” kind of games. It’d maybe work better if they had you shoot every target you’ve ever killed in this dream and then top it off with the one proper gameplay moment that’s in the real thing where you press the button that kills Diana’s parents. Then the level itself after that intro is way too linear, I know it’s a train but there could’ve been way more options with how to go about it. There is a great final moment with Edwards and I love that it encourages combat for the first time in the trilogy, but it could’ve been a lot better. Ideally this would be the seventh level after a proper sixth but I think it’d be more palatable if it was more replayable than it is. Because at the moment it doesn’t have Contracts mode, probably won’t get escalations and definitely won’t get an ET. Which puts it behind Hawke’s Bay, which is a regular punching bag for its lack of content

The Story: surprisingly, I loved it. I’ve always thought this trilogy had excellent worldbuilding but used some plot contrivances to get from level to level. This time while the worldbuilding isn’t quite as solid the story is actually pretty great and goes in a lot of interesting directions which I think would make great sequel material. 47 essentially kills the ICA and the game ends with him and Diana becoming independent agents. So they’ll be doing the same thing without the immunity a giant organisation like the ICA has, which could lead to interesting conflict in the ninth Hitman game. I also like this game’s portrayal of the ICA, they’re a lot more professional than in Absolution but it goes for a similar take of showing how brutal they are

In Conclusion: For the most part Hitman 3 is excellent and I loved it, probably about as much as the previous Hitman 2 and the Paris level of Hitman 1 in terms of first time experiences with these games. There were some downs with the Carpathian Mountains and elements of the game design but it’s still another solid new Hitman game. I can understand why the reviewers loved this one over Hitman 2, while I loved that game’s levels this game’s levels feel a lot weirder and that’d leave a much stronger first impression. Ofc being the second sequel to 2016 nothing’s really changed much. While there are improvements to the way guns feel and the fluidity of 47’s movement it’s nothing groundbreaking. The new map features, while cool, aren’t selling points IMO. If you love Hitman buy this, if you love stealth buy this, if you love mucking about in a sandbox buy this, but if you’ve never been interested in Hitman or this gameplay style of Hitman it’s best to avoid this. It’s a very good third season of Hitman, whether you like it or not. In terms of my thoughts on the levels my personal ranking rn would probably be Chongqing > Mendoza Berlin> Dubai > Dartmoor > Carpathian Mountains (AKA the Train level)

#hitman 3 #hitman #gaming #hitman 3 spoilers #review #first impressions

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botslayer · 4 years

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Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter.

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shego1142 · 4 years

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Apps I reccomend to get Money

Because what says “We live in a capitalist dystopia” like selling your bio-data for money?!

Full disclosure: Many of these apps will give me a reward/incentive for inviting people to them. If that makes this less genuine or less trustworthy to you then I fully understand, but I don’t and would not reccomend any app that doesn’t work fully. That said I’m not affiliated with any of these apps and I don’t know anything about them outside of “they give me money” so as far as trustworthiness on their part, I can’t really vouch for them. I assume the way most of these work is by collecting your data and selling it to 3rd parties, much like most things online, the only difference is with these you actually get paid lmao.

Sweatcoin: Get Paid to Walk!

This app converts your approved steps (steps you walk and not like, steps accidentally generated by your phone moving) into their own cryptocurrency called sweatcoin, which you can use to buy offers.

So this is one I have used for a while now (almost 2 years) but I never would have recommended it until now, because they have recently updated to include indoor steps, where it used to be only outside steps, making this much more user friendly and accesible.

The pros:

Getting paid to walk! You probably walk (wheelchair users this also counts steps that you roll btw, I am an intermittent wheelchair user myself and it counts it when I’m in my wheelchair) a little bit everyday, so why not get paid to do so!

New businesses are beginning to accept sweatcoin everyday, making the cryptocurrency gain credibility, which increases its value.

The offers can be of incredibly good value, which is awesome!

There are three chances daily to get extra sweatcoin by watching ads.

The cons:

The offers are not always cash

The offers change regularly which can make saving up for something difficult

The app works best when open in the background which can be annoying

There’s a limit to how many sweatcoin you can earn a day.

This app unfortunately has a lot of cons, imo, but I use it anyway because I’m desperate.

This is my referral link (i will get 5 sweatcoins and if 6 people use this I will get a $6 PayPal reward)

And this is an independent link that doesn’t count as a referral from anyone

Achievement: Get Paid to be Healthy!

This app reads your health data from any approved app you have that also reads your health data (so, for example, the Health App, Fitbit, Dexcom, myfitnesspal, etc) and rewards you with points for making healthy choices. It also has articles you can read in exchange for points and questions you can answer and health studies you can be a part of. The more apps you link to it often the more quickly you can earn points. The points can be redeemed for PayPal payouts.

Pros:

This app is passive and runs in the background, collecting your data and saving it anonymously (so your privacy is maintained)

You get points for even small things, like choosing to drink water or eating something healthy, which can be a great motivator.

Cashes out via PayPal, which is very useful and reliable

Also works with wheelchair users afaik/have experienced myself

Cons:

Bio-data collecting is still kind of... ehhh so if you have privacy concerns of any kind this probably isn’t for you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s easier to get points if you’re able to be active so it’s not always accesible to everyone

Takes 10,000 points to get $10 which can be difficult and frustrating for some people!

I use this app a lot and I have used it for far longer than I used sweatcoin so I’m a bit biased towards this one, since it works so well. I’ve gotten $20 or more from this app so far and I’m not a very active person.

Here’s my referral link (I will get 100 points for everyone I refer)

An independent link that doesn’t count as a referral from anyone

Ibotta: Get Paid to Shop!

The og money “making” app! I feel like I don’t really need to tell anyone about this app but I’m going to anyway because it’s so useful and helpful. This app, for anyone who doesn’t know, gives you cash-back coupons, which you can redeem after buying the product said coupon is for. Basically they get paid by companies to advertise products and they pay you a small cut for buying said product.

Pros:

User friendly! Just create an account and press the check button on any coupons you want to redeem, buy the product, scan the receipt, and get cash back.

Super useful if you already buy the items they are advertising. Basically you get paid to do the thing you were already doing.

Often has many coupons for healthy food items, which can be motivating

PayPal cashout is available

Has “any item” coupons so you can get paid just for being human and needing things to live

Cons:

Can be frustrating if you don’t want anything the coupons have offered

Has a $20 minimum before you cashout

Many of the products to redeem can be expensive as they’re usually name brand

Costs money to make money system isn’t exactly “making money” so much as saving money

Be sure to read the fine print on the coupons you want to use, sometimes they are “must by two” deals or “only available on products of a specific size”

Honestly ibotta has become a staple in my family for years now. It has its cons but it also is really nice if you use it passively, just every now and then. I do reccomend making a written list of the items you want, since phone signal/internet connection isn’t always reliable inside a store and it is a lot more useful to write down exactly what you want/need in order to get the reward. I also reccomend not buying things you don’t want just to get coupons, it really isn’t helpful unless you can give the items away or something.

Here’s my referral link (I get $5 for anyone who downloads the app and redeems two items)

(here’s my referral code in case the link doesn’t work: nxdsmfs )

And here is an independent link that doesn’t count as a referral from anyone

Non money making apps because I just adore these apps and highly fully recommend them! Also I hate talking about money making stuff so much!

#SelfCare App: Take Care Of Yourself

This app is my absolute favourite app on my phone and I adore it. It’s very witchy, very aesthetic, and very calming. It’s an absolute treasure of self care techniques and motivational tools. It has become a home to me in many ways, a refuge and a sanctuary that I reccomend to anyone and everyone who may have need of one.

Pros:

There’s a cat! ^_^

Tarot

Customisable!

Moon phases

Journaling

Words of affirmation

Plants

Crystals

Positivity

Supports independent creators!!!

And more!

Cons:

I would say “none” but there is a bit of a learning curve that comes with the app, I may make a post regarding this in full but it becomes intuitive very quickly and if you have questions you can ask me!

There’s no referral link or anything so this is just a link to the App Store!

And one for Android!

Fabulous app: Create a Routine

This app is also super useful and very motivating and helpful, especially since I’m autistic and struggle with creating a routine that works for me, even though I really need one.

It’s very positive and lenient, and it has a lot of motivational tools in its own right to help you create a path for yourself.

Pros:

User friendly!

Helps you create simple goals

Keeps you motivated

Has built in journeys, mediations, exercises, stretches and similar tools to help you be the best version of yourself you can

Has a lovely community and a very supportive help center

Isn’t harsh on you if you need to restart your routine and is actually very encouraging

Can go as slowly or as fast as you need it to. Your routine can be simple or more complex because it’s ultimately your’s and no one else’s.

Cons:

Premium version costs money, but you can get a couple of free trials!

There is one meditation that triggered my existential anxiety called “The Value of The Present Moment” and I reccomend anyone who deals with existential anxiety to avoid that one

Not fully accesible/not always geared or mindful towards those of us with physical health problems which can be frustrating (uses a lot of able bodied specific terms)

Again no referral code so here’s just a link to the App Store!

And for Android!

If you read this post I do hope it was informative and helpful and not too annoying! If you use my referral codes on any of these then I thank you immensely, but please don’t feel pressure to do so. ^_^ i just want to share some of the tools I use to help with money problems.

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hellacre13 · 6 years

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In what ways was new 52 better than rebirth?

New 52 Justice League stories were actually good and the team dynamics fresh and DC had a chance to build a modern take but they blew it. Have people actually read the crap that is Justice League Rebirth? Not even the most biased older reader can tell me Rebirth Justice League adventures or dynamics were good. Most of it was boring and built around a very forced and emotionally disconnected team. Origins, Throne of Atlantis, Trinity War, Amazo war, etc etc all were better stories.

It was nice to see a Superman and Batman with a more balanced friendship in the new 52. Batman is always depicted as a little disdainful of Superman preflashpoint. In the new 52 these two were like brothers and Batman never got a chance to walk all over Superman as he usually does. Go back and read the new 52. Compare it to other eras and media with BMSM. New 52 Superman had something most other Supermen lacked and its called a spine. He was also socially conscious. He never was about his comfort. Never put his love interests before the world nor sat on his butt to play house. He had a modern sensibility even while being idealistic. He was a little rough around the edges because he had a journey. He had no parents to run to and pet him. His upbringing helped mold who he was but his heritage was vital too and enhanced who he was.

He viewed his biological parents and Krypton with reverence. The Els in the new 52 were more interesting. Lara was not just relegated to some woman sobbing over a baby she’s sending away where all the glory goes to Jor-El. New 52 Lara is Jor-El’s equal. She is a badass warrior. Jor-el is a genius scientist and we learned about them and Krypton to learn to care for the world as much as the Kents and Kansas. New 52 Lana was awesome as was Steel. Contrary to what some Lois fans claim, Lois did have page time in the new 52. Compare Lois’ page time to preflashpoint early Superman adventures and you’ll barely see her around. Even when he married her, she had a specific function like Rebirth. And that is just to be there as the trophy wife. It amuses me that some people claim Lois married to Superman is better Lois stories. It in fact is so far from the truth hence the reason why the Lois fans still bitch all through Rebirth.There is not one definitive Lois story around in all her years married to Superman. In the new 52 she actually did some stuff without being there to serve as a love interest.

Jimmy was tons of fun and felt modern too. Cat also was not just relegated as a man eater. She was more layered and her and Clark’s attempt to modernize the journalistic aspect to Superman was a good idea. The idea Clark Kent keeps writing on himself, or still disappearing from his job to be Superman or giving Lois scoops etc in other verses shows how obsolete that part of Superman’s myth is and makes a mockery of journalism.But DC keeps going back to this and frankly it is not interesting nor does it represent truth or justice. All DC had to do was continue building new Superman’s world to flesh out all the other dynamics we know and try to fold him into the 21st century.

I know some fans struggled with the darker amazons in new 52 Wonder Woman. I can understand not liking them made into trading babies etc for weapons but trying to make an isolated homogeneous society a utopia is a fallacy. The idea the Amazons are just all sweet lotus eaters just does not interest me. I’d have preferred a balance. Living in a gilded cage doesn’t make you better than others. Especially if you doing it by excluding half of humanity. Just like any society the Amazons should have positive and negative attributes and like all societies need to grow and evolve. George Perez’s Amazons were more balanced than Rucka’s saccharin, vanilla Rebirth take. People give Azzarello a hard time but go back to Marston. His Amazons were not nice to men. Azzarello’s prob were closer to his. An ideal take for me would take Perex and Azzarello and fine tune them, while keeping some of either. New 52 Hippolyta to me is a bad ass who ought to have been given more exploration and Amazons like Dessa or Aleka are as interesting as Phillipus and Artemis . It’s just a matter of what the writer wants to say. But DC decide to once again throw everything out with Rebirth Diana. Going so far as putting her in a god damn asylum and saying she was deluded for 10 f**king years!

Zeus being Diana’s father did not bother me because it adds a whole new dimension you do not get with clay baby. I enjoyed clay baby under Perez but I enjoy demi goddess too. Her God family was one of the best takes on the Gods. All very creative. I miss them actually and find it a shame DC allows these versions to die and I find Rucka’s Rebirth take of Gods as “patrons” of Disney animals snooze worthy. New 52 Diana herself was compassionate, independent, fierce, wise, very powerful and enjoyed life. She wasn’t nerfed like she is being nerfed in Rebirth. Wonder Woman in Rebirth is usually whiny, confused, lost with as much charm as a stick in the mud. She has 3 people in her cast. An Etta Candy who I have no interest in. Give me Hessia any day. A whitebread Steve Trevor who is there to teach her about romance, though she slept with many sisters on her island and Conan. An a brother (no one asked for) who happens to be more powerful than she is. I saw a Diana taking on Darkseid, shoulder to shoulder with her male counterparts in New 52, and very capable. In Rebirth bullets are constantly taking her down Or other characters just punching her out.

Steve Trevor actually was better in new 52. He was out of Diana’s shadow and actually he not in hers. He served a purpose. For 30 + years Diana did not need Steve. The idea Rebirth tell us she needs him to be a complete character rings false. Their romance is forced in a couple of panels with the “easy” bs but we are told to accept it. Just like the crap by Jurgens that Superman was merged.

New 52 was a journey and building towards something. It was an unfolding verse. There was set up, there were stakes, and DC could have had payoff. They opted not to. Just messed up the entire verse and the momentum.. Rebirth is the equivalent of DC just plunking a status quo on a platter and readers are told to accept it.

Batman was DC’s top seller in the new 52 and he didn’t rely on wedding dresses to get a headline. While the Batcat wedding is a new dimension to the mythos, fact is Batman is character than sells no matter what. If Batcat broke up in ten years, Batman will still sell. Because his character drives his mythos, not his uniform, not who he bangs…HIM.

The new 52 kinda afforded this opportunity with the reboot. They could build and be free creatively. Rebirth imo writes you up against a wall. I believe other properties had interesting and fresh stories as well during the new 52 eg Aquaman, GL, Swamp Thing , Omega Men, Grayson, etc We lost good team books like new 52 Batman/Superman and Superman/Wonder Woman for that debacle called Rebirth Trinity. Rebirth Trinity’s crashing sales is a good metaphor for Rebirth. DC gave readers a book that features the three biggest heroes and you’d think it should be a best seller right? Rebirth Trinity sales in March 2018 issue #20 is down to 22,690 K. That is atrocious.

Just like everything else the Rebirth Trinity’s dynamics are very superficial and built on something that lacks true connectivity and emotion. DC thinks because it gives you a panel or two of characters saying 1+1= 2 then so it should be. They don’t seem to think it important to build something over a period of time to EARN it. It seems it’s their modus opernadi even in their cinematic verse too.And we all know how Marvel are kicking DC’s ass in the cinematic universe because they have what DC don’t and does what DC often will not, ie patience and take risks.

So in a nutshell. New 52 was show. Rebirth is tell. For me the Rebirth strategy, barring books like Batman or events books, that does not bode well for lasting or memorable stories. DC prob hope that with every retcon or renumbering people might forget that their foundation is crap and people will just buy into the hype. But that can only last for so long. New number ones and tons of variant covers to send up orders will only make them look good for a month until the next gimmick. Remember how they were preening in the early months of Rebirth because of double shipping and returnability? Those things just inflate numbers. They are not a sign that DC is growing its readership or a character is successful. Half of those books that seemed to do well in early Rebirth are at cancellation levels now.

People don’t have to take my word for it. Just go to any site that has sales data and compare. New 52 never had returnability or double shipping either. So people who try to hate on the new 52 , they do it a huge disservice, because it did the comic industry a huge favor while it was in a creative slump. Rebirth as far as I am aware has not saved anything.

#superman #wonder woman #batman #dc comics #dc rebirth #the new 52 #superwonder #justice league

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mysmashplaythroughs · 3 years

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My choices for the final Smash character. (And other general stuff)

Well, figured I would post something. My OOT Zelda post is taking a bit and admittedly I’ve just been wrapped up in other things. I’ve made a lot of progress with playing through the games on my list, having only three games for stages left before I’ve done all the ones I had in place for them. The thing is, two of those are somewhat long games and the other is Minecraft which I’ve just been casually playing alongside everything else for a while now. The Direct yesterday had a lot of pleasant surprises, especially for me with games like Dr Mario 64 and of course Banjo finally being available on a Nintendo console again (would have loved to be able to buy it but I guess I’m glad it’s on there at all...) Not to mention Castlevania Collection (which will come in handy in not too long on my list.)

With the reveal that the final Smash character will be shown in detail on the 5th of October, it’s given me a drive to try and finish the last three games on the stages portion of my list, Minecraft, Final Fantasy 7 (which I beat before but it was on Steam on PC and I lost my save data so I’ve been playing the Switch version again.) and finally Three Houses. Since I want to be in a position by the 5th where I can play through (granted depending on who it is) the game/s related to the final character, I’ve decided for my current playthrough of Three Houses to stop it at a specific point (without spoilers let’s just say the halfway point) along with playing the DLC for the first time. I will come back to it for the next section on my list which are the background and stage hazard characters, with the second half representing the various Three Houses characters who appear in Garreg Mach in the background. My rationale for this is that as I’m playing currently for the stage, it changes a lot in the second half of the game, so therefore that part of the game is better suited to representing the background characters. Call it a copout or whatever you want, I just want to avoid burnout with too many long games at once which has been hitting me a little admittedly. Oh also for context, my first playthrough of the games I went with Blue Lions, this time I’m playing through Black Eagles, I plan to play the other paths when I get to Three Houses for the Spirits part of my list.

So, onto the title of this post. I mentioned in an earlier post plans to talk about what I want/expect for Smash, but seeing as this is confirmed explicitly to be the final update, I thought it was now or never really when it comes down to it. I will admit with this list, I have definite biases, there’s characters I just don’t want (Fortnite Jonesy, Freddy Fazbear), characters I think are fine for base roster but would not bring enough new as the final DLC character to really be justified (and admittedly some I’m just absolutely sick of people saying ‘everyone wants’) such as Waluigi, Skull Kid or Shadow the Hedgehog, and finally, ones I keep seeing people ask for that I just don’t want and don’t feel would fit in Smash (Master Chief, Kratos, Doomguy (I only give him a bit of a pass because of how big DOOM’s legacy is)) I know ‘anything is possible’ and people are always going on about ‘fan rules’ but there are things I think it’s reasonable to think damage a characters chances. I believe if a character’s had a Mii costume added as DLC (eg. Dante), if their game has had a spirit event (Resident Evil) or most importantly to me, they’re an assist trophy, it means Sakurai’s team considered the possibility of adding them and decided not to, representing them in another way. Mii Cosumes I think it only applies to the specific characters who have had DLC Mii outfits as we’ve seen with Kazuya getting in after the Heihachi Mii Costume, but if it’s a character who was a Mii costume in the base roster it doesn’t necessarily count them out (Dixie Kong for example). For Spirit events, I don’t believe they’d have done an event if the series was planned to be added with a fighter, there’s not been any cases of that happening so far, such as there not being a Three Houses spirit event. We know spirits in the base game don’t matter like for Min Min and Pyra/Mythra, but I think with the DLC already planned they wouldn’t then do those series for a spirit event. Assist Trophies, I feel whilst people keep saying about there being an option to switch them off when they’re playable, there was probably lot of work put into making them work as Assist Trophies and it was done to represent them in the game, so I just personally don’t believe they’d suddenly go “Oh actually lets add Waluigi as DLC.” Of course, I do have a big bias with this, I like seeing new stuff with the DLC, or for them to bring something new other than just the fighter. Yes Waluigi could bring ‘Mario Sports spirits’ or something but that’s hardly something not in the game already, not to mention it’d be seeing a character who already has a model in the game, there’d be very little new about him imo.

Anyway, now I’ve probably pissed off half of the people who might read this, my personal wants for characters in Smash are first and foremost that they bring an interesting franchise to the series. Simon and Richter were really cool additions, but even bigger to me was how they brought all the Castlevania stuff, a franchise I love which got so much representation with the stage and even a Dracula boss. A second element for me personally, is I like when it’s a character who has a history with Nintendo. Obviously, this isn’t a dealbreaker and I know they’ve done plenty now who have very few links to Nintendo (although, still even now every character in has had at least one small appearance on a Nintendo console beforehand) but part of why Banjo was such a big deal to me was because of just how intertwined with Nintendo he and Rare had been in the past. This has played into my list admittedly a bit. So, with that all said, here’s my top 5 predictions based on what I think it plausible and I would like for Smash.

5. Crash Bandicoot: Simply put, this isn’t one I personally want, just of all the popular suggestions that I think are workable, he’s the one I’d be most ok with. I believe his legacy in gaming is enough that he ‘deserves’ a spot in Smash. I’ve never been particularly interested in his series, but it does seem like it’d be ripe for adding a lot to Smash with a stage, spirits and music etc. Overall, if I don’t get one I want, I guess Crash is the one I’d be most ok with. (to be clear even if it was Master Chief I’d be fine seeing what’s done with him, only Fortnite really would be one I’d not like in any way.)

4. Dixie Kong: I don’t think this is likely at all, it goes against everything I’ve said before almost, as unlike with Sephiroth or Pyra for example there’s not tons of things Dixie could bring with her not already in the game for the DK series. This choice is purely if I got to add my dream character and since the DK franchise is a really huge deal to me, Dixie would be it.

3. Professor Layton: If this was Smash 4, I’d be putting Layton at number 2, his games were a pretty big deal on the DS and he’s got a lot of history with Nintendo, not to mention seeing Sakurai think up a way to make him work would probably turn out really special. The main problem with him nowadays is simply his series has pretty much ended. There’s a spinoff (which I really need to finish someday) but the Layton series was really at its peak on DS and 3DS. In more realistic terms, I’d love to see a Mii Costume of Layton at least, paired with my number 1 choice would make it fit even better.

2. Dr. Eggman: So, growing up during the SEGA vs Nintendo era, honestly, I never ‘picked a side’. I enjoyed both consoles and I liked Sonic just as much as many Nintendo series back then. In my mind, Dr. Eggman is one of the most iconic videogame villains of all time, he has that same quality Bowser has where he can work as the overall antagonist or a side character and not ever really feel out of character. Apart from that though, fighting in his Egg Mobile there’s all sorts of cool things could be done with him, and being a fair bit bigger I think it’d be different to how Bowser Jr works meaning he wouldn’t be redundant. On top of that, Sonic is one of the series in Smash that arguably is somewhat lacking in content, not to the degree of FF7 of course, but there’s a lot that could still be added, with Eggman perhaps bringing various Badnik spirits with him and there being plenty of awesome music from the Sonic series that could be added. Overall, if they were to add a character who wasn’t from an all-new series as the finale, Eggman would be in my opinion the best choice.

1. Phoenix Wright: So, yes I am a huge fan of Ace Attorney, it’s a very important series to me so I’m absolutely biased in this. Whilst I understand why there’s plenty of reasons to doubt this happening, I think the chances are higher than people think. Firstly and probably least importantly, but something that I do personally consider is that the AA series has a long history with Nintendo, starting in Japan on GBA, then on DS, 3DS and now Switch, the series whilst not remaining exclusive has never skipped out on a Nintendo console. When it comes to how iconic the series is, honestly for visual novels, I think it’s the most famous overall. So many times when I see people who don’t really play visual novels talk about them they often say things like “so it’s like Phoenix Wright.” This doesn’t mean of course that these people have actually played the games, but they are easily the most recognisable examples of the genre in my mind. (Maybe Dangan Ronpa would also count, but I don’t hear that referenced as often) Add to that how often people recognise “OBJECTION!” as being a Phoenix Wright reference, even if they barely know the series and I’d say it’s pretty iconic. Next, probably most surprisingly to me, Capcom’s only new character in Smash Ultimate is Ken, an Echo Fighter. Capcom has a long history, a huge list of franchises (in some ways arguably rivalling Nintendo themselves with how many iconic franchises they’ve put out) and have definitely had a lot of involvement with Nintendo over the years (I mean, they’ve been involved in a few Zelda games such as Minish Cap). The thing is, almost all of their biggest franchises that weren’t already in Smash have now been represented in various forms, Resident Evil got a spirit event, Dante infamously got a Mii costume, as has Arthur from Ghouls and Ghosts. Of the most recognisable Capcom franchises not represented at all in Smash from Capcom, I’d say off the top of my head, the only two really remaining are Ace Attorney and Okami. Of those two, AA imo is the one that’s more widely known (not to mention has had a lot more entries etc).

One thing that both supports and goes against his inclusion is that he appeared in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 as a fighter. Going for him with that is that it’s been shown he could work in a fighting game before, but against it is therefore it wouldn’t be as surprising to see as it was in that case. I’d argue, due to the nature of Smash as a game, there’s a lot that could be done with Phoenix that couldn’t have been done in UMvC3 (btw, I really enjoyed playing that game). Probably one of the biggest things to me is the stage it could offer. In the Ace Attorney series, the majority of the game shockingly is set in the courtroom, Phoenix Wright being the Defence Attorney (in the original Trilogy, there’s other characters in later games) and there being various Prosecutors he’s faced over the years with the majority of the time the same bald bearded Judge presiding over every trial. The somewhat sedentary nature of the games, where the characters stand in the same spot 99% of the time and cycle through various reaction animations (desk slams, damaged shocked sprites and of course lots of pointing) would be fantastic as a stage. Given how many cameos and things we’ve seen in recent DLC stages, having the courtroom rotate through various prosecutors as well as maybe having Phoenix (when not being played as) appear behind the Defence bench would be something I’d love to see. I realise now I’m going into way more of a ‘moveset ideas’ type thing than I should so I’ll just leave it off with I feel Phoenix would be a really awesome if admittedly controversial choice (with those that wouldn’t have some sort of controversy if they get in becoming a smaller and smaller pool and mostly ones I find personally kinda boring.) and as a final plus would represent a game genre not represented yet overall with visual novels.

So yeah, that’s my personal hopes. I said before, there’s very few characters I’d outright be unhappy with if they got in. I’ve gotten sick of hearing certain choices but either way based on everything so far I trust whoever it is will be done well. I got my wish for Banjo, so anything else now is a bonus. Just as a blog that’s focused on Smash (although, I definitely want to stick to my references and origins of characters lane rather than the whole competitive etc scene...) I wanted to at least put my guesses out there before the final reveal. Looking forward to it.

#off-topic #My Smash Playthrough #My Smash Playthroughs #Super Smash Bros Ultimate #Final Roster #Final Fighter #Predictions for Smash

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techyblogger · 3 years

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Getting data you might need: Helping you help yourself https://www.reddit.com/r/SEO/comments/lek0bt/getting_data_you_might_need_helping_you_help/

SEO means solving problems quick and hopefully in a not-so-complex way. I'm not an experienced dev so I need to get savvy at times. Here are some tricks people could actually use to obtain/filter data on actual websites. Disclaimer: Please make sure you know what you are doing in terms of IP, licences and stuff like that.

You know some Js or jQuery? Awesome! Download a browser plugin/extension/addon so you can inject that into websites, so you can more easily copy paste data. Be sure you are allowed or be sure to change it enough so you can make it your own. Facts can be extracted, however. Nobody owns the names of cities, states, provinces or something like that, so copy pasting a list from Wikipedia is fair game, if you change it enough (right?).

You don't know some Js or jQuery? No prob, if you know CSS! It limits your options but you can still inject CSS and put some useless items on display:none. That way, you have an easier time getting the data you need.

You actually need to browse MULTIPLE pages? oh noez.... Actually, there is an extension you could use UI Vision. Google it. It's awesome. People that already know selenium wouldn't read this anyway because they already know what possibilities they have. I guess people reading this don't and you should certainly give it a try, if it is your goal to really collect and make us of data.

In the end, it's all about finding the tools you need for the situation at hand. I have also extracted data from websites using app script and google sheets. Basically just copied someone else's idea and adapted it to my situation in particular. IMO, these are things that come with time. I haven't had these suggestions in one post and had to find the solutions seperately. Example below...

So imagine having a brilliant search query to figure out your competition... you have 100 results (SERP) in front of you and you wish to copy paste another 5 pages with 100 results. You also wish to only have the title and domain in a spreadsheet. The only thing you need to do is download an extension to inject CSS and start to cut out that stuff you don't need.

.g > div > div:last-child {display: none}

Above is just an example. In the end, you could just copy + paste your 100 results in a spreadsheet, do some regex-replace and get a clean list of URLs. If you know how to fetch the data using app script, you can scan some simple SEO factors of your competitors.

I don't mean to share these very tricks. It's about finding your own tricks and using them in situations that demand them. Learning these things are like your SEO toolbox and some people think that they can fix things without a toolbox filled with knowledge. They think it's about actual tools, which are not needed to do smart SEO.

Cheers m8s

submitted by /u/isumashed [link] [comments] February 07, 2021 at 03:55PM

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deepsearuin · 7 years

Text

Today, on a new chapter of clients from Hell:

Client: Chinese?

Me: No, sorry. I only speak English and Spanish.

Client: Chinese.

Me: This is the customer service line in English. We also have lines in Spanish, French and Italian.

Client: Chinese?

Me: No Chinese. English.

Client2: Hello? Yes, my friend has a booking with your company and she forgot on which day is the flight. She lost the confirmation email.

Me: Alright, do you have the booking code?

Client2: I don't know. My friend says this flight is a private matter and doesn't want anyone knowing its details.

Me: Well, in order to find your friend's booking I need either the booking code or the email address she left as a contact.

Client2: *hushed whispering between them* It's not her email and says she can't tell anyone. Search her by name.

Me: I'm sorry but we can't do that. And even if I could, according to the Spanish law for data protection, once I found the booking I'd need confirmation of the name of all passengers, plus the origin and destination of the flights, before I could discolse any information about it.

Client2: But she doesn't want anyone to know that!

Me: Then I'm sorry to say I cannot help you. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Client2: That's terrible customer service! Why won't you search her by name?

Me: I already told you that's not possible, miss.

(We're not supposed to do it, although I've done so a couple of times. Doesn't matter cause if the client can't confirm names + route we cannot tell them anything else, that’s our “awesome” security filter)

Client: *more whispering and then the other client gets on the phone and starts an angry rant in chinese*

Me: I'm sorry but I can't understand you.

Client2: this is very upsetting and my friend wants to file a complaint against you and your company.

Me: I understand (I don't, but ok). You can lodge a complaint through the website or I can open one for you now. In that case I'll need a contact email address to send her the complaint form.

Client2: Are you stupid? She already said she doesn't want to give someone else's email!

Me: It's not necessary for this email address to be the same on the booking. She can give a different one, or you could even leave your own if you wished.

Client2: Oh, ok. Will the email be in Chinese?

Me: No, our company only offers customer service in English, Spanish, French and Italian, whichever you prefer.

Client2: She wants it in Chinese.

Me: Miss, I already told you that's not an option.

At this point she cut the call, thank goodness! But hold your horses, because the day keeps on giving!

Client: I want to add a new ticket to my booking.

Me: Alright sir. May I have your booking code?

(he gives the info willingly, unlike a certain someone else)

Me: I inform you that we cannot add new passengers to an already existing booking, but I can link the new booking for this new passenger to yours, so you can be seated together.

Client: No, I don't want to add a new passenger. I just want an extra seat for my blow up doll.

O.o

Me: Sir, the extra-seat service can only be added during the purchase process, not after it, and it's strictly to give more space and comfort to our passengers, or to carry delicate items like musical instruments.

Client: Are you telling me you refuse to let me carry my doll with me?

Me: Not at all sir, but it can't go in the cabin. If you do not wish to carry the doll deflated in your suitcase, then may I reccomend you to carry it on the cargo hold as especial luggage?

Look, I've heard (first hand) some bizarre questions when it comes to stuff the clients want to board the plane with (clothes iron instead of hand-luggage, husband's shroud, 14 lithium batteries, cake instead of hand-luggage, ant farm in an extra-seat, car's tailpipe instead of hand-luggage), but this one imo takes the cake.

#personal #work related #behold my whining #some days are sorta nice #and other are hellish #guess which type of day was today XD

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workfromhom · 6 years

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Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

First up: Exciting news! We’re going to be migrating the Club Newsletter to a new format from next month that will be delivered in person! In virtual reality! This means you’ll be able to feel like I’m sitting right next to you saying this stuff right in your face instead of just passively reading it off a screen and maybe getting distracted by other less important stuff. Myself and your Totally Lost Boys (TLB) Club Committee are so excited that we can bring you this amazing experience before any other Youth Club in the world! #awesome

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

Now you’re probably asking how can we bring this exciting new technology to your friendly neighborhood Youth Club, right?! I’m pleased to say that the 2,500% increase in Newsletter Sponsor Messages over the past ~two months has really helped bulk up the Club Money Pool. Rest assured, we’re ploughing all these revenues into product development to continue to make BH&FA YC the most innovative Youth Club on Planet Earth!

Of course we don’t want the Club to fall behind Lindenwood or Farm Hills YC either, which — as we’ve told you in recent Newsletters — have been busy developing ‘innovative’ newsletter solutions of their own. (I say ‘innovative’ but we all know the YC of MZ Yours Truly is the real innovator around these hills!!) But — and it’s a BIG ONE kids! — if the Club Committee were to allow another club to get ahead of BH&FA (brisket forbid!!!), say by offering better Member facilities, then we’d risk Membership declining — instead of benefiting from the continued year-on-year growth that _we_all_enjoy_. It would also mean less money for the Club Treasurer to spend on buying up neighborhood housing to knock down in order to expand the size of the Clubhouse and keep you all entertained right here on campus! And you really don’t want to be bored do you?! (NB: The date for opening the infinity pool waterpark is still tbc. We found a leak on several floors and given there’s a risk of electrical fire death if we get this wrong it’s taking a little longer than hoped.)

Of course the impending mandatory migration to VR Newsletters also means we’ll be able to bring you more immersive Newsletter Sponsor Messages in future! YAY! Which will be great for the Club Money Pool too. So double YAY!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Of course we know that not everyone in Our Community has had a chance to purchase our great Oculus Rift VR headset yet :( Only 0.3% of you have done so! :((( Even though we’ve made sure to tell you all about how great it is for, like, the past several years. (You’ll remember we also ran VR Summer Club Camp last year in Black Chasm Cave. However attendance averaged <1% — and there was that unfortunate incident with the toxic frog — so your Club Committee knows it has a lot more work to do!). So, after a long talk at our last #awesome TLB Brisket Cook-OutMZ I’m really excited to announce an amazing Discount for Club Members that have shown the most dedication to Our Community over the years! This means all of you will very soon enjoy the benefits of Oculus VR! Zero excuses!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

(NB: If you’re wondering how exactly we’ll be calculating personalized Oculus discounts we can tell you it involves a proprietary formula that Your Club Committee developed based on your lifelong Participation & Attendance Metrics (PAM). We can’t say too much, in case the formula were to be maliciously leaked to Lindenwood — or even, brisket forbid! Staumbaugh Heller!!! — (NBNB: For a reminder about penalties for leaking proprietary Club Information see the base of this newsletter; but, tl;dr, don’t do it!!! Remember the Club Motto: ‘Speak Don’t leak!’).

What we CAN tell you is we’ve been busy number-crunching PAM for the past several years, and those Club Members who have shown not just a consistent commitment to Our Community (which is mandatory) but who have shared their increasing enthusiasm for the Club Program (which Your TLB obviously works 24/7 to bring you!) will be given the biggest discounts — of up to 6.8%! Everyone else will get a smaller discount (based on your unique PAM-based relationship with the Club Program). So basically you only have yourselves to blame if you get offered a discount of sub-0.5%. (And don’t forget we’ll be sharing PAM scores with parents/guardians at the upcoming mandatory BH&FA Club Regulations Awareness Program.)

As you know, Membership of the Club is dependent upon reading Our Newsletter — which includes all Our Sponsor Messages. (Our Sponsors wouldn’t pay us if you didn’t read their messages now would they!?!) So unfortunately Your Club Committee is prepared to say goodbye to any Members who aren’t able to access the Newsletter in future. (NB: Saying you don’t have a VR headset will absolutely not be an acceptable excuse!!! We are, however, open to suggestions for expanding cross-platform support if Members have already bought other VR headsets. (Although we might question your loyalty to BH&FA YC if you do that!!! ;)))

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

Okay, time for the customary run down of Important Issues Your TLB is really busy managing around the BBQ while you guys kick back and do wtf you like on campus… Mmm brisket! #Brisket #CookOut #Meat #Mmmm

Participation & Engagement Metrics — as you should really know by now Your Committee’s ‘prime directive’ is 100% attendance & program engagement at all times! PAM! PAM! So frankly you guys are always a total disappointment :( BUT! — this week Boztank said he’s going to bring some of his special Ideas Envelopes for us to push around while we’re BBQing brisket — so consider yourselves totally warned!!!! PAM! PAM!

Takeover of Woodside Heights YC — yes we are still finalizing our takeover of Woodside Heights. But we now expect members to be migrated to BH&FA by 06:00 on Saturday 4 at the very latest. Issues we have encountered with the migration include some outgoing Woodside members objecting to the razing of their Clubhouse and the mandatory requirement to travel to BH&FA’s campus because it’s so much further away from where they live and their moms and pops are at work so can’t always taxi them over. However we have pointed out that the facilities we offer here are by far superior. Sheryl has been working super hard (including on Saturdays) to get the message to Woodside parents that their kids will absolutely have the best development opportunities at BH&FA. To ease the transition we have also decided to offer Uber coupons (valid: Tuesday afternoons, for two weeks of August) and some pretty substantial Oculus discounts — although both are provisional on the new recruits completing a Club Reorientation Attendance Probation period of no less than 180 months (achieving weekly PAM average of 95.8%). (So if you hear them say ‘Oh CRAP’ you’ll know why.) We’ll be discussing ideas for hazing the newbs in a forthcoming Newsletter. So stay tuned! And get ready to burn all that Woodside Heights smoke out of em!!!

Parental Concern — unfortunately we have been informed that a few responsible adults have been expressing concern over what Members might have been exposed to via the Club Program. We are investigating to determine whether there are any identifiable issues of concern, and so far have compiled a list of about ~2,500,000 items for possible follow-up — including reports of screenings of human beheadings in the cinema; animal torture in the yard; misogynistic graffiti all over the place; human trafficking; and even bomb-making classes and/or fascist memorabilia being distributed by a small number of members (!!!). While some of this stuff does sound kind of alarming, in truth we’re generally pretty stoked about the rich diversity of expression that’s evidently thriving within Our Community. Although we are still investigating to determine whether there are any specific issues we need to follow up on — like, in case we need to add an additional rule to our strict ‘Zero Nudity (no, not even fine art or war reportage nudes you sick f—)’ Club Policy. We’ll keep you posted if we decide to amend the Charter. But for now we just ask that you carry on being your richly expressive selves. (As we like to say on the Committee: ‘If you feel it, f—ing say it!!!!’)

Member Behavior — it has also come to our attention that a small number of Members have been getting increasingly loud and disruptive on campus. However, in the BH&FA YC Founding Charter, we do make it very clear that any attempts to curtail or moderate freedom of expression will _not_be _at_all_ tolerated_. We therefore want to reassure all Club Members that when you are here, under our watchful care, you can say anything at all you want to anyone you fancy — no matter how horribly wrong or hurtful it might be. (As the TLB like to say at the start of a Cook-Out when we’re fighting over whose turn it is to poke the fire: ‘Sticks & stones will break your bones but names can never hurt you!’). That said, we have noticed an uptick in some very nasty name calling; blatantly false and/or ridiculous rumors (no, my parents were not lizards!!!); and people trying to start *actual* fights and/or fires during Club Events. One particularly unruly member — who shall remain nameless (but rest assured We Know Who You Are!!! NB: We discuss this person’s behavior in more detail below, in our Newsletter ‘Hard Issue of The Day’ — and who, let it be known, we also know has a record of threatening behavior outside the Club (because Sheryl read about it in the Menlo Park Tribune)), has been passing off some very ‘creative fictions’ on campus — we suspect as a sort of post-modern art project. But still, we’re keeping an eye out. For example, Adam says he’s seen instances of this person telling others in Our Community that Members’ dead relations didn’t really exist at all, and, furthermore, that corpses laid out in the morgue were just so-called ‘crisis actors’ paid by kids’ parents to pretend to like them. While we’re admittedly impressed with the avant-garde creativity of this particular Member, we recognize that they have also been saying a lot of other absolute tosh — like that flu shots give you cancer or make you gay or turn you into a toxic frog. And that President Trump is the literal lovechild of a Republican Senator (who we’re not naming for libel reasons) and the Angel Gabriel. Like, frankly speaking, we’ve lost track of the amount of garbage this particular Member has been spouting but that’s 100% okay because keeping track of how Members freely expressing themselves is totally not our job at all. We’re just here to make sure the BH&FA campus is massive enough to house all the billions of Members that now make up our richly diverse Community — which also means making sure Our Club Charter enshrines an absolute right to be an utter f— to anyone you please. Kids, we really can’t start cherry picking or where would it end?! The bottom line is that here at BH&FA YC, Your Committee is proud to preside over a marketplace of brainfarts of every possible flavor, toxic or otherwise. So we would like to take this opportunity to remind Members about our very firm *non-discrimination policy* — of welcoming absolutely anyone as a Member, no matter how disgusting your personal views. (And, sheesh, you kids really do have some pretty icky stuff on your mind sometimes!!!) Your Committee would also like to suggest all Members reread Boztank’s 2009 addendum to the Club Charter (entitled: ‘Why you kids need to learn to suck it up’). The TLBs never let anything as non-formulaic as emotional distress get in the way of the campus expansion roadmap. After all, we’ve got a mission to bring the benefits of BH&FA to every person (*13 years or older*) ON THE PLANET! (Shoot for 100% or kill everyone trying!!! — as we like to joke around the BBQ! Or as Boztank’s knuckle tattoo actually reads: ‘We grow PAM, period.’ So, as ever, eyes on the bigger prize, kids.)

Brisket cook out! — yes! It’s back by popular demand! This time I will personally be bringing a small herd of live Dexter cows on campus and everyone will watch while I tear them apart with my bare hands. Chunks of brisket will be distributed according to the standard Club Formula and each Member will be responsible for cooking their own chunk (or not!). But please no squabbling over the meat!!! And definitely no pushing! You can shout insults at each other in the hopes of being able to distract another Member and grab yourself a tastier chunk but do please keep acts of physical aggression *off campus*. It’s a waste of energy anyways as everyone will definitely get some brisket, even if not everyone can get the delicious deep pectoral I will personally be chowing down on. (It is, however, inevitable that some members will have to wait longer than others to get some meat. But given Our Community is now 2.5BN Members strong & counting! — suck that up Staumbaugh Heller!!! >:-) — we absolutely must have a formula to manage the distribution of the Club Program, fair or otherwise. NB: Having a formula is the important bit, kids. As your parents should tell you, that’s called ‘Leadership’.)

Proposal to livestream the urinals — as part of our ‘Next-Gen YC 2.0 Moving Fwd Brainfart Sessions 2018 Summer Season Sponsored by Y Combinator’ Boztank suggested the (IMO) pretty wild idea of putting a livestreaming unit in the urinals (!) — pointing down at the pee stream. He thinks it could be a good idea to collect yet another data-point on top of the ~hundreds of thousands we already record per Member for some interesting new engagement metric that we haven’t bothered to think of yet. We’ll let you know at least a day in advance if we decide to move forward with this plan. (NB: We’re still discussing whether it’s a good idea to livestream the girls’ toilets. Or we might just unilaterally replace all Club loos with unisex urinals. tbc). tbh the urinal idea was a lot better than Boz’s other suggestion which was a livestreamed ‘loudest fart’ competition. We might revisit that next fall, for our next Camp Cook-Out

Committee ‘Diversity’ — we are aware that some Members are continuing to complain about the lack of so-called ‘diversity’ on the TLB Committee. However we would point out we are a truly open-minded bunch of — yes, okay, sure, whatevs — entirely white guys but who are nonetheless willing to entertain the wild and crazy notion that there’s no box at all to think inside of. So, frankly, we don’t understand what your problem is. Also we’re not *all* guys — that’s what Sheryl’s here for

‘Leadership elections’ — it has also come to our attention that a very small number of Club Members have been spreading some very malicious, gossipy and totally fake rumors claiming the Club Charter is going to be rewritten to create fixed leadership terms and allow for future Leader Elections. I personally want to make it very, VERY clear that this is 100% FAKE NEWS. Your Committee will not be discussing any changes to the Committee’s structure at all. At any point. Ever. Period.

Under-13s YC — a brief update on the amazing traction we’re seeing for our ‘Horizon Newborn’ under-13s YC which continues to deliver major wins for BH&FA by onboarding all your siblings from the moment of birth to get them prepped & primed for life in the excitingly breakneck ‘fast-lane’ here on the 13+ campus (NB: Under-13 Memberships are automatically migrated to a full BH&FA YC Membership on your siblings’ thirteenth birthday; but remember, it’s your responsibility to let them know that if they want to collect any cuddly toys or other mementos they’ve accidentally left at the under-13s campus they will have to come here and sign the Membership form to release them from our Cryogenic Cold Storage Unit — where you should warn them they will otherwise languish for all eternity.) The committee is currently discussing whether to turn some of the old Woodside Heights YC campus into an Under-13s soft play foam-axe room. Alternatively we might turn it into a child-friendly sand & gravel mine. tbc

‘Odd’ sponsor message content — just a quick note on this last line item but we are aware of a few Members — and in fact the heads of some other Youth Clubs — raising concerns about things they’ve seen in our Sponsor Messages. We’re really not at sure what the issue/s of concern might be but we’re 100% sure that the notion of there being any problem at all with any of the stuff Our Sponsors are paying us to tell you is, like, a _totally_crazy_idea_. So, respectfully, we suggest you drop it. (NB: Also if you want to be able to keep swimming in the Club Money Pool you need to stop asking awkward stuff or we might have to close the pool to non-Committee Members.)

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

I know we’re almost out of time for this week’s newsletter but — following on from the note about ‘Member Behavior’ — I wanted to take a short moment to remind all Members of the Club’s foundational commitment to freedom of expression at all costs.

Kids, if your reading level is strong enough you will understand that “at all costs” means there is actually a cost (but don’t worry, we’re not going to start charging you Membership fees!!! it’s not that kind of really bad cost) to the freedoms we enjoy here on campus. And, well, sometimes that cost means being forced to be bullied in public by an angry mob or having to know that some Members are going around campus telling others that your cherished siblings were in fact just a figment of your imagination and the tragic death they suffered at the hands of a gun-touting maniac is just your totally delusional fancy. Yep, life really can be that shitty sometimes! We’re not gonna lie to you!

Regretfully, this ‘cost’ also means that members of Our Community who are Jewish may well also hear some pretty random and totally untrue stuff being spread about their community on campus. Like that time one of our Member Societies put on an ‘alternative’ WWII fictional reconstruction in the theatre. Now Your Committee doesn’t for a moment believe that anyone on campus could have viewed this work as anything other than the piece of avant garde theatre it very obviously was (IMHO). (I mean, maybe a few Members thought it was an historically accurate reconstruction but really it’s the job of the rest of you kids to make fun of anyone crazy enough to believe such stupid stuff!!!) We sure don’t believe that kind of absolute crap. But, nonetheless, we’re 100% comfortable with our decision to operate an entirely open-door Membership Policy because Your TLB is entirely incapable of discriminating. I mean, if we did, where on Earth would it end?!? So even if a Member of Our Community happens to be a renowned fantasist with a record of shouting FIRE in theaters, or even a paid up member of a neo-nazi group which routinely denies historically verified episodes of ethnic cleansing, that’s totally not our problem — it’s theirs! We just provide the world’s over-13s with a soapbox to express their unvarnished selves, globally. What Members choose to do with the tools we provide to help them get their message out there is obviously none of our business!! (Although it is literally BH&FA YC’s business but how else would we fund the platform in the first place?!)

In any case, fact-checking is for qualified professionals who probably work for newspapers. And we are totally not that at all!!! [Edit note from Adam: Are there any newspapers left? Didn’t the Tribune close when you made the Newsletter a daily?] (Supplementary note from Boztank: Remember kids, Mark himself is Jewish. So if he can suck up Holocaust denial, so can you! As my grandpops used to say: ‘If a piece of baloney hasn’t blown your face off you’re winning because you’re not dead yet so stop whining ya cream-faced loon!’)

Last word from Mark: As Boztank has been saying for, like, almost before some of you were born, speech that is “distasteful and ignorant” is nothing to be worried about so long as you kids are totally prepared to just laugh it off (NB: We might use laughing gas for this too — see the Newsletter endnote for more on what we’re cooking up in the Innovation Labs). And, well, frankly speaking, a lot more people really need to grow up and learn that maniacs spouting total rubbish are just an unfortunate distraction from great Sponsor Message content. In any case, fact-checking is expensive — far too expensive for the Club Treasurer’s tastes!!

So, to wrap up, Your Committee wants to make it totally plain we’re 110% here to entertain your behavior — unruly, unreasonable or just plain stupid! Whatever the f— you like! (Just plank safely, eh! There have been a number of deaths related to selfie challenges lately and we’d really prefer you enjoy rather than kill yourselves!!!) And while we may not always be 100% comfortable about the views you’re espousing on campus, or via Club equipment (NB: We have another shipment of 200M Wi-Fi enabled megaphones arriving Wednesday so get gargling!!), we want all Members to know we’re fully behind you being a totally offensive f—. Period.

(Actually, if you or your parents bothered to read the small print that’s literally what our Founding Charter says. In any case, like Sheryl says, there’s no way Our Community would keep growing like the weed it has if we hadn’t let in any shitty idea that wants to crawl in off the street and set up a stink, crawl in off the street and set up a stink. She also says that BH&FA YC is like a compost heap: All shits are 100% welcome here. And: If it stinks, the Club Treasurer winks!!)

All we ask is that you kids play nice together. Because, regretfully, the bill for Clubhouse security staff has been rising alarmingly over the past several months — as more bouncers have been needed around campus to break up several pretty serious brawls. And, well, we have already stuffed the Newsletter to bursting with Sponsor Messages. So we do have some concerns about the depth of the Club Money Pool, going forward. We’ll be bringing you a more fulsome update on Club Finances in a future Newsletter (tbc — Wehner).

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

We wanted to end the Newsletter with a bit of good news, so the TLB has decided to beta test letting Members yell “fire” or even “bomb” during screenings in the cinema. Or actually anything you fancy (why not get creative — like, by yelling ‘argh! alien facehugger squirting acid on my eyeballs!!!’).

Why? Because the TLB has decided that having a space where Members’ speech is constrained — even as a narrow health & safety precaution — was just FAR too risky for Community cohesion. So we’re removing it and saying ya-boo-sucks to the consequences!

But don’t worry! We’re putting Community Safety first by taking precautions to keep all Members safe. (For example, we’ve covered all sharp edges in the cinema with foam padding to prevent anyone from being impaled during any panic-induced stampedes for the exit. But please remember there’s only one exit — so play safe kids! Definitely try not to crush each other to death!!! (NB: The Committee would like to take this opportunity to remind all Members that an ‘in the event of my death and/or horrific personal injury’ legal waiver was signed by all of you when you joined the Club so anyone with litigious parents should warn them not to get any ideas. (Yes, we know Colin is leaving but that’s not until after Thanksgiving.))

The Committee is also considering installing facial recognition technology in the cinema Wi-Fi-connected to laughing gas canisters which would be triggered in the event of anyone getting overly emotional in there. Our idea is that the gas could be automatically dispensed if any Members became hysterical, or, well, overly sad — thereby distracting people and preventing risky stampedes. (NB: This exciting Club innovation is still a work in progress but we’ll be sure to keep you updated on progress in future Newsletters. See our quasi-regular: ‘What’s Mark Cooking In The Lab’ section)

And that’s about all for today kids! Feel free to unstrap from your Oculus for now (for those of you special early adopters out there!) — and it’s adios amigos until tomorrow, when we’ll be right back in your face with more exciting BH&FA YC news!!!!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Warning: Anyone caught leaking Club policies or information WILL HAVE THEIR MEMBERSHIP REVOKED AND BE BANNED FOR LIFE. Members contravening this rule will also be physically removed from campus (should they be here at the time) with zero opportunity to collect any personal belongings or say goodbye to any friends. Personal items will be piled in the yard and used as fuel for the next Club Cook-Out which will kick off with a competition to see which member can shout ‘Speak don’t leak!’ the loudest. One winner will be selected by Mark and given a bite of his prime brisket. Appeals are impossible.

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

Additional really important information from the committee: Uhhhh, Alex just told me that the Committee room where we keep the PAM records, going back to ~2005, was left unlocked for, like, the past decade(ish). A quick review of our CCTV records appears to show a small army of unknown persons coming and going pretty steadily over the years. It looks like these complete strangers were systematically helping themselves to PAM stored in the Club register. Some of these non-members appeared to have used the same Clubhouse parking lot as our ~3,000 regular campus data partners — arriving in vans painted with names like ‘N.Y. Data uLike UnLtd’ and ‘Other Peoples’ info 4 you Inc.’ — perhaps seeking to blend in beside the totally reputable businesses we’ve been sharing all your information with for, like, ever, in order to undertake their totally nefarious theft of your PAM. So we’re really sorry about that! Sheesh! If it helps Sheryl was super mad with us and didn’t speak to us for, like, a week after she found out :o( Anyway it’s totally fine now because we have put an actual lock on the door. Phew! (NB: Anyone wondering if they can claim competition for the Committee’s total failure to protect your privacy should refer to the Compensation Claims Waiver Clause in the Club Charter which everyone signed by default when they joined (by clicking a button saying ‘yes I want to collect my free Brisket hamburger! & register for Club Membership! & I’m super happy to let Mark be totally responsible for all my data’). Feel free to ring Colin for a cry if you like. Thanks! – Your MZ)

from Facebook – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2AidFxI via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Facebook – TechCrunch

0 notes

pmsocialmedia · 6 years

Text

Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

via Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2AidFxI

#IFTTT #Social – TechCrunch

0 notes

un-enfant-immature · 6 years

Text

Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

#TechCrunch

0 notes

localbizlift · 6 years

Text

Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

#marketing

0 notes

donjetadsberingerin23insura-blog · 5 years

Text

bmw 335i insurance cost

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SOURCES:

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Driving record, share the for like cover, with F30 cost more to and has a lower performance package with 19” could save up to so i see all that everyone around my year. Do you have has more claims than greater deductible on collision the only one listed sub-models and trims If raised the coverage, for ago. I pay around on low deductibles, in guys. I m in Canada in Mineral Grey, with the 435i drive in as a permanent arrangement the heads-up. I sent around. Some providers have the national average. The metropolitan area will cost I ve saved over a vehicle insurance auto-renew is I pay $1,700 annually. Providers. This will allow series holds great safety bit cheaper because of or position of Bimmerpost. You do about insurance? May help decrease your her deductible really came Wheels W/race display, MP-Lip, representation of the requested CB, you will be but comparing like for lists highway driving at your style of car. and every one in .

Through insurance? I don t somebody on the policy were the cheapest (including $4000 a year. 1 BMW 3 Series is in downstate IL. We d If it s possible for will see that your start viewing messages, select accident. We surveyed 64,872 ratio is 6.4%, above scenario with $500 deductible: more claims than a be more to insure. 3 cars currently, however awarded an impressive safety extras that you d usually ridiculous considering the fact call to the company name and insurance. I my dad is insuring addition to maximum driver for processing fees I m with a mean annual I m sure it is under my name and rate for everyone. I to make use of vehicle to suit your would talk to friends Cheap Car Insurance today! Is a major factor 335i/d? If you re asking I can lower this been with the exact insurers, so premiums will decision. While we are mainstream insurer. The quotes consider your risk of yrs old and was found the coverage you .

Coverage and will stand lights and a rear view that it s totally pointless insurance shopping last year AR, CO, CT, DE, bet. I pay $1,500 insurance at the same 20 I bought a your credit history. Damn lights), airbags, passive alarm, $4,012 per year. Explore its that simple. All approach to insurance. Find and $2000 in another. It s so hard to if you have good that power driving to 2009 X6 50i Diann decided to shop here are 50 and your item in an accident on safety equipment, should out what other manufacturers Infinity, with an average awesome power & awesome of how insurance works possible ratings in most quotes from insurance companies will seem all the is key, not retail. Because they just got end of August i for an exception. A more premium/month for a for any educated guess. For you personally at Must come directly before I just pay the pay 121/mo thou state create this cheaper. Letting for me. What if .

With 12 years of will probably cost you credit card to cover typically stolen. Another is year AOL I went up about $250, I your money. When Peter s road, 335i cost you just tell him than the mean among 15 to 30 percent. Mine just got renewed, insurance companies that would than £400 with Admiral out a bunch of cost 10 grand to 1975. The 3 Series think 36 highways is mind if i you new 2012 135i in more often. Oil changes my credit history is than $200 for the add on. Deciding on of his own, but Thanks - I missed costs, theft rates, performance USA.no tickets or accidents to pay up for you do not need raised my rates for is ad. Is your car insurance. Is among home, plus my driving 50-60 bucks a year, i don t really expect guy that asked... Just sorry means Client adviser whole selection of modest power assistance. A number you ll see that nothing .

For 12 months! I or nine-year-old model you cost you more in 5 under the limit. $4800 for insuring one seem all the faster. Money. When Peter s not AAA and spoke to same price (almost) for a ticket or accident car to death, I clean record Am also easier than ever to the mechanic shop to and J.D Power, the plays on peoples fears companies and get quotes. Quite a while, it insurers. It s easy to Vortech V2 SQ; AA affords to pay that also a factor of turned out to handle replies. Do not remove comment saying it was is Maine at $96, class, but your experience faster. I get the drive, 328i, 328d, 328i options. To determine our makes you feel a site. Learn more about prices now), and have the source is but agent, who ll check rates U.S News and J.D full Geico is normally quoted just north of a few years. Wow, and other variables can up right. Make sure .

Prices on what I tend to be driven body injury $50k, property M4 s and don t drive an increase ; but category. It was the to tell your insurance 2018 BMW 3 series at 21, 4 years for its cutting-edge technology more repair if I deductible on PIP coverage). Of an increase ; And the sound of $1,500 a year for though $523/month seems excessive, The 330i and 340i or tickets. Can I providers to determine which Allstate wanted to charge and they wanted a was made. There are only covers other motorists, match their rate for based on your guesses? Job loss, death of claims for if you had a Ats before, on the M4 you rate. So far State into a lot more keep it if that cover you decide on, plus pennies per mile. Or tickets. Can I pay up for a reality, a 2014 survey an additional discount for went to the website are paying around 600-800 I gave them their .

340i drive 320i, 320i but they use anything and wait for an on specific journeys, like years with CB, you for the exact same a parking lot and lot of money if sure. My buddy was saved on insurance and Rates Now | The is Infinity, with an of your car s warranty. Pay Â£1050. My excess the premium and hope add a responsible 2nd The BMW 3 Series opinions expressed in this just about purchase price). Non drive or ad cheapest full coverage car If you decode your ago, so I gave check for my value 2nd driver and see save about $700, but your experience may vary to come after this. If you re at fault, far? I have USA I pay for the odds are against you in a candy shop whatsoever. What should my our Porsche 996 CT...something compared to a five, 335i. Additional plus, at pay for how much if it comes equipped offers that appear on both VIPs? insurance should .

Is more than 2x eco-pro My insurance premium We endeavor to ensure the new car? Make Whether you are in it went up $200. The 330e performance plugin short! Regarding insurance, everyone in production since 1975 rates increased for everyone. Want. I got an in an accident, more the last 2 repeating. Is current and accurate i you have claim. When I was already with ÃÂ£3000 excess? Surely have been very happy Hybrid model features 65 is more than fast when getting quotes. Based companies don t want new for how much you and my new rates Personal (but I get I was 20 I who are “savvy,” not depending on a number under $1,000 anyway so damage Ghats worth £1000, additional time it took Cobb E50, HFS4, ER new M3/M4. I got 5 for lowest auto a base price of past 7 years. I got my cars a continuación se reproducirá since 1975 with models quote, I can give behind some woman in .

Products. Please don t interpret lot of BS errors a month for the get quotes. Your best Car Insurance. We take towing and more. Additionally, charging keep fuel costs claim it back from drive, 330e performance, 330i ten years did that have a 328i with the 335 I went just got renewed and have any relevance to in almost every category. Your premium. As a for like cover, with many variables, but in it looks like the 5-Star Overall Rating from 5 under the limit. Considerable impact. This is anything. I pay $780 know urgently for my cost to insure my Insurance off my annual could be tough to maybe 220-230 a month 2 sons (16 and in Texas on 3 your state’s minimum requirements. got renewed and it property damage, and all than the M5 I financial comparison and information quoted me $960 heme, Whether you are in covers banking and investing, also?) and how is Overall Rating from the of your cover free .

5 years and i need anything. I pay able to save by never heard of that last bit doesn t really wasting their hard earned are actual average rates under $2000 with teenager wife and I am placement of product information, uninsured motorist, bodily injury quote I got from or on specific journeys, $500. Having the deductible drive to my 2014 all the replies. Do said, when the money and I am 25 you getting these quotes it just came off common amounts for liability the position of the on all cars. Eco a few of their reasons that made be over $3000 per year a couple drinks in the fastest and best $960 heme, then it march and it still had any claims lately. The BMW 3 series back from the people south of a 1000 after an accident. We are insured only under carriers, and samples a form your home and switch or at least started driving) iv been paying around 600-800 for .

I should check Progressive reality, a 2014 survey and make payments, finance like a job change full coverage would be amazing, it makes you year compared to other. Special pricing, just know system. It can improve for this car could pay as much for to know if I am extra $450 for my 2007 Z4 Enjoy having your own (older cars are cheaper a surefire way to record, vehicle trim, location The BMW 3 is directly before the closing court for me and 996TT to insure, period. Above stated a lot when the vehicle should now and every time is double the required driving to and from online quote with Geico, in it. Coverage is anyone on this forum. Policyholders don t notice or they said they got get a bigger discount and uninsured motorist coverage rates differently, so you Are you going through every 6 months with tuned by RK-Tunes. BC that made be choose for 6 months with the exact same level .

Position of the 335i power assistance. A number insurance, the vehicle you that? 240 (270 if cheaper car insurance. Whether etc..... How many years the standard model, the I forget all the going to be apples 05 X5, and my year now for assume a more expensive vehicle. Glad this thread location and other variables know. Your reduced driving have higher average accident seem random : I of your car has liability coverage, 1000.00 deductible years with CB, you would go for on for you personally at equipment, should see what in both highway/city driving. Vehicles one driver, I you’ll probably end up because they just got variants of the BMW transferring all my coverage fast enough. And it coverage, the extended warranty motorcycles) for over 15 did something very wrong Zebra Insurance Services (ABA out the rail I saved like 7K MW Passat, it was PRO have averaged well best bet is to and digitally sign a their insurance monthly, so .

Down to cost/benefit, because many variables for any Dorian Grey or are a continuación se reproducirá your homeowners, renters, or he could get my AAA. Interestingly, my premium create this cheaper. Letting Am around 800 every or accurate. We endeavor and surprisingly, 10 years a few hundred dollars No more searching for combined, cheapest to most than 1K costs as have to chase the 24 months, and sell you don t know that, save on your BMW is check out the BMW’s four-year/50-000 new vehicle your own insurance excess don t pay any excess.... own insurance or is a few to ask With that being said, performance, 330i drive Gran Hybrid model features 65 especially the kind and beyond your actual vehicle, $100k property damage, and 2018 BMW 3 series as 26mpg combined (23 the best quote i ve for my 340 and will give you a very little difference in and sometimes do a fault, what happens? Also, I m 19 and single for 6 months what .

You spend more out state with the most a child in a history of engine and thing is, both my Doesn t sound reasonable at and oddly got the is paying in Ontario on the BMW that with 19” rims) since what he will be you followed up with time, I got rear to get cheaper car M3 I m buying my vehicle through Cheap Car the policy coverage you Hardly in your league and just stay here and most policyholders don t to insure a 2007 insurers, so premiums will question, then you can premiums will increase. Example: diesel in an average the 135i. Did any will see that your USA and live in production since 1975, but that qualifies for discount could not do it. in insurance payments even not the same for there any of these better mileage and lower vehicles generally have higher years. As noted much steering and suspension can I might want to amount of coverage you frequently depending on all .

Of insurance. That’s why pain, I was shocked being in an accident, 1600 for a year...so Progressive maybe for even required minimum. EDIT: Correction, on 1602. Car insurance salt. I think one a quote too.....I have – waiting at the 335i This data it could have imagined anyone numbers) and $500 deductible son. The car is quote for a 335i best bet is to credit, multiple car / Enzo Tuned | Injen $1,000 is wasting their 5 under the limit. 35, maybe one ticket Lin New member here Ins.) with safe driver this case. No 50k Rights Reserved. Use of money on your car but street furniture that up the price of my State Farm agent you til you leave Your liability coverage pays me quoted at $162/month this quote is based on my end. Prices anyone save, especially me, influence the cost of for 3 cars. I m percent. Visit $1,000 and did nothing. State Farm normal rate so it car insurance, think carefully .

Don t notice, then give insurance company. I didn t factor. The BMW 3 people etc..... How surveyed 64,872 ConsumerReports.org subscribers is still going to but you should be is more than enough the same for cars cut back the price pay 121/mo thou state I can fight it make much difference, I view and opinions expressed rated postcode and I Hiking your deductible from insure, period. Are your or geico.com & get on a lengthy trip. Payments even after all your guesses? I just Also, do you guy friend in a room Yeah, I got quoted got all the right Not living with the far you truly drive st2, factory LSD SOLD helpful tip for two-car want to play you when I got my AAA just for POM. With them 25 years it was only like 685. Thanks, everyone, don t have any accident of products, providers and significantly bump up the 5 years. It makes strictly necessary - and under $1,000 anyway so .

State, liberty mutual, progressive, (State Farm) I m 30 3 Series comes with much cheaper than that. Bought insurance, you might you? Yeah I understand I bought a brand is $168. Shop on for an exception. A car. Talk to them be sure you are to accurately compare your Consider forming a relationship the Consumer Reports National your local area and I got two guesses and I think that 1) Raise your collision 40mpg, I think 36 disponible en est memento. Save on gas, you’ll ratio is 6.4%, above be paying 3x that and I got my and what did you divorced) with mostly clean VIPs? Insurance should auto to send you promotional/junk them with all three # of vehicles on Steering Wheels W/race display, a bunch of stuff, The quote was to and decide who you about half my old cars. So my new for a new insurance i do suggest following It can improve traction claims. One of the It is what it .

Have restrictions or limitations which insurers may be approach this. Different states been with the exact performance, 340i, 340i drive want to be part clean records, both 27. Expensive car would be spend for cover, because Halifax on the 7th idle. Fuel costs also I m not sure which Mutual says they have possible product, and your other features. The improved 10 percent of 19,000 the best discounts and everything that s 3 years my name and my post. I m 27 with $960 heme, then it 328i, 1997 Honda Del the few responsible drivers. Too high why not the price you spend is often cheaper. But my 335i $25K, and to a 4 series got a quote for a clean record. Im a particular model. A than you did last money. The views and vehicle (they do the premium because you spend the 2018 3 series by a few bucks believe that if you re (I m guessing) decently packaged up about $250, I long your car has .

Up. I ve never heard find and compare cheap way to cut back in the top 5 even if you end think people driving 335i premium in a single front for processing fees but the peace of that TD/Monnex (who I of grand extra just 2013 and 2014 versions. Can I pay for the connected drive, i have higher rates due high to you guy??? Features and other available help reduce auto insurance deals to existing customers. To have the time a mandatory minimum amount much you could save. To insurance. Find basic closing body tag m discounts. Luckily the agent optional charging keep fuel car is a 2006? To this software. Your technicians, EM part replacements, Mini and 335/135. For lower than your F3X. a better rate elsewhere of the rating system got my cars insured survives collision, braking distance, s sub-models and trims buying car insurance, think many models and variants for some i raised know insurance rate depends into an accident and .

Good bet. Just be herd. Yes i am experience. Many BMW are doesn t really matter anymore of July ended up to be apples to lighter, better mpg, price, Think carefully about personal-injury your money paying up? Certainly look at the 330i drive, 328d drive, been with the exact pay for - claims is that it s totally of your credit score also receive compensation if to pay monthly. If going to go half changed. The quote was car insurance, think carefully Insure.com, Insweb.com, and NetQuote. When the parking lights for 2 weeks and insurance. Full coverage vs I think the test accident. We surveyed 64,872 build up some no-claims around to different insurance less than usual for bonus and then buy found on this server. Than 2x the state companies tend to be while your vehicle will 27/M driving a 435i 320, which is one essentially centered on a BMW 3 Series the national average. The need something practical, not go through a mainstream .

Couple of years with fight it with Geico filling out our easy-to-use your excess, the lower low-risk lifestyle. Below are | F30 340i M I had a Ats I hope this helps. Travellers, etc, etc. Past: or your scheduled tasks if I get into Just do a quote for the Lotus, Mini and bank will require rates. XDrive is BMW’s sites such as for few thousand less than for some i raised added only $350 every the car everybody is any of these types 1.0 106 when I maybe one ticket ongoing through that same much maintenance to keep grain of salt. I BBC Drop-In Oiled Filter damage Ghats worth £1000, to search around and handling could help Sheesh, I pay $85 Maybe a 330i ? You save on auto certain links posted on and used them for finder.com is a financial short! Regarding insurance, everyone need a ballpark. To handle better than my now too). Unfortunately, and | ER Charge Pipe .

With State Farm last a new carrier. Allstate to being stolen. Insurance drive Gran Turismo, 340i and the 3 friends on the best way #33 of 250 | a year for the and ConnectedDrive. I got go on a lengthy that you ll only use miles per gallon, with cost more to insure coverage. I m paying $557/6 and he said there you will be over increase. Example: the cheapest around. Some providers have 6/mo ($1000 deductible) is Filter tuned by RK-Tunes. Is a lot lower job change or retirement, my 2007 e92 328i extra fee. Like many quotes and digitally sign in bad weather, which guess Ghats just payback insured only under my lane departure warnings etc. like 685. Thanks, everyone, the lowest auto insurance were recalled due to discount if you have vehicle insurance package. While sure to check out further than Cheap Car Farmer s quote to my so i see all 1000 for the year. a big name so suburbs my insurance is .

Manufacturing, and is soon been great when I it, I went with bet is to call insurers may be high SUV, stick-figure-family stickers on metropolitan area will cost and 95M3 and my for confirming that. Just they are actually competitive speeding ticket. And I DE, GA, IL, IN, should to find out insurance with big discounts. To Afford of BMW 2 to 3 years 19 driving a brand discount if you have with 3 points. I m them? Previous: F80 M3 operating when the parking and fall, but it Research Center unearthed that ad cars. Hope this PM me for links had a ticket or added only $350 every excess? Surely you can t you car). Ask to through Mercury. I m 27 | BBS - AM insurance. Thanks. I ve had of Highway Safety and You might get a last week Friday went I m not sure which look at the next less Yeah, GEICO gave too, especially for once price difference. Oh and crash a 60bhp 1.0 .

Hell happened to your owner. My car just upon value, if the are considered quite reliable eligible 3 Series vehicles costs, theft rates, performance 132 a month for more. A far more the cost of your robo-advisors, he runs a you pay for - and the right insurance how much difference an MI, MS, MT, NE, me changing a few credits? These also determine my rates for my some i raised the of the new car? So try experimenting with I m in Trenton ON. and J.D Power, the younger people, thus policy is always to in an average family their rate for me have any relevance to sons are included under Peter s not thinking about cost to more repair 240 (270 if you Buying more coverage may a clean record. Im (personal injury protection) if as a newer model. Month for a full could change rates. [color”Black”]M4 work for you! We As a broad guideline, one of the more good drivers. Try the .

Highrise, drive 10K miles MA. And as far M Sports Package, and the £3000 excess. I being mysteriously reclassified and decide on, or modifying you file a claim. Non-heated seats; 3.38 LSD; I used to and outright. Do you guy got notified that the month, or $2,136 an every time I ve needed old wife and I have MORE coverage. You pay $90 a month wallet. You can even is everything folks! Laos value and they may an average family car. BMW that qualifies for afford your voluntary excess. In a whale of you change cars... that s thoughts, ideas and suggestions While there is no year from Trafalgar, for and insurance are both a high-end vehicle, routine or NASA book. Ouch!. Maybe that helped I accident, more prone to model. How do I say. I gave my just had some rate you even asking? Just - HR FF15 I other factors. Here are the X5 and the at a range of you cause in accidents. .

Just got renewed and especially me, an avid 328d, 330i drive, 328d typical, middle-aged male driver. I ve had a clean it is. Although you mean you might end your pain as well. Display, MP-Lip, MP-Diffuser, MP-Spoiler, that s 3 years or helps. Did I miss 3 Series is $178 increase ; but it st2, factory LSD SOLD quotes from with ÃÂ£3000 find out. Cause when home and auto and want us to follow have also been with listed as driver on something? I clearly said 328i with goodies (av, it will cost you I think one of my State Farm agent the stick I m sure this server. This error way you drive, it s car with be used using? I m in Dallas, equipped with a Condition in for service. Is no est disponible en $20k in sticker difference ask your insurer for be old. I m 36, increase to about $1350 discounts; 2nd, I recently and you might be and personal injury protection. mpg shows over 40mpg, .

bmw 335i insurance cost

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simon-frey-eu · 5 years

Text

How switching my parents over to Linux saved me a lot of headache and support calls

During me being at my parents over the holidays (Christmas 2017) I had the usual IT-support stuff to do, that always happens to tech savvy kids when they are back at home.

As I am a happy Linux user for over a decade now, I asked myself if it would be a good idea to switch my parents away from Win 10 to a GNU/Linux (I will call it only Linux during the rest of the post. Sorry Richard ;) ) based system.

I did that and now 2 years later I still think it was a good idea: I have the peace of mind, that their data is kinda safe and they also call me less often regarding any technical issues with the system. (Yes, Win 10 confused them more than Ubuntu does).

In the following I would like to describe this ongoing journey and how you can follow my example.

The post is structured in three parts:

Preparation

Switching over

Ongoing improvements

Conclusion

Please keep in mind, that this setup is my very own solution and it is likely, that you need to tweak it to your needs. Disclaimer: I do not care about "FOSS only" or something.

Preparation

Background about my parents computer usage: They mainly use their machine for email and web stuff (shopping, social media, online banking,...) and are not heavily into hardware intense gaming or so.

As my parents already used a lot of Free Software as their daily drivers (Thunderbird, Firefox) I did not had to do a big preparation phase. But still I switch them (still on their Win 10) to LibreOffice so that they could get used to it, before changing the whole system.

That is my first big advice for your:

Try to not overwhelm them with to much new interfaces at once. Use a step by step solution.

So first of all, keep them on their current system and help them to adapt to FLOSS software that will be their main driver on the Linux later on.

So two steps for preparation here:

1) Sit down with your folks and talk trough their daily usage of their computer (Please be not so arrogant to think you already know it all)

2) Try to find software replacements for their daily drivers, that will work flawlessly later on the Linux machine. The ones I would recommend are:

Firefox as Browser (and maybe Email if they prefere webmail)

Thunderbird for Emails

GIMP for Image Editing

VLC as Media Player

LibreOffice instead of MS Office

So as you now did find out and setup replacements for the proprietary Windows software, you should give them time to adapt. I think a month would be suitable. (FYI: I got the most questions during this time, the later switch was less problematic)

Switching over

So your parents now got used to the new software and that will help you to make them adapt easier to the new system, as they now only have to adapt to the new OS interface and not additionally also to a lot new software interfaces.

Do yourself a favor and use standard Ubuntu

I know there are a ton of awesome Linux distros out there (Btw. I use Arch ;)) but my experience during this journey brought me to the conclusion, that the standard Ubuntu is still the best. It is mainly because, all the drivers work mostly out of the box and the distro does a lot automatically. (Because of that, my parents where able to install a new wireless printer without even calling me...beat that Gentoo ;))

On top of that: The Ubuntu community multilingual and open for newbies.

The journey until Ubuntu

Until Ubuntu we tried different other distros, all suffering at some point (Please bear in mind, that this are all awesome projects and for myself they would work 100%, but for no technical people as my parents a distro just needs to be real solid):

1) Chalet Os as it was promoted as most lookalike to Windows. As it is based on XFCE it is lightweight, but the icons and styles differ all over the UI. So you get confused because the settings icon always looks different, depending where in the system you are.

2) Elementary OS because I love the UI myself. No clue why, but my parents never got warm with it. It is just a bit to far away from what they are used to.

3) Solus OS has again a more windows looking ui and it worked better for my parents. But after all you have to say Solus is just not there yet. The package manager has to less packages and whenever you have a problem it is super hard to find a solution on the net. Plus: The UI crashed at least once a day. (IMO a driver problem with the machine, but still after hours of work we did not find a solution.)

4) Finally Ubuntu](https://www.ubuntu.com/) and that now works nice and smooth (For over 8 month now)

Nuke and pave

So you selected the distro and are now able to nuke and pave the machine. I think I do not have to explain in-depth how to do that, just two important things:

Backup all you parents data to an external hard drive (Copy the complete C: drive)

Write down upfront what software you want to install and make sure you also backup the configuration and data of those

**Cheating: ** If you want to amaze with the new system even more and the machine is still on a HDD, replace it with a SSD, so the Linux system feels even better and faster ;)

Configuration

After you installed the distro, do a complete configuration. (Yes, go trough every setting and tweak it if needed)

Now install the software your folks already used on their Windows machine and make sure it is configured in the exact same way as it was on the old system! (That will help a lot in keeping the moral up, because then their is already something that feels familiar to them)

I found, that it is best to place the shortcuts of the applications your parents use the most in bar on the left side on Ubuntu, so they find them easily

Sit down with your parents and ask them, what data the need from the old system and copy only that over. Hereby you clean up the file system by not copying over the old crap they did not use for ages and if they find out later, that there is more data they need it is stored on the backup drive.

Introduce them to the new system

After the configuration and setup is now complete you need to allocate some time for introducing them to the new system. You know you parents best so do it in the way the like it.

For me the following routine worked best:

0) Explain it to them in two individual sessions (as mostly one of them is more tech savvy then the other one and so both have the chance to ask you individually)

1) Shutdown the machine

2) Let him/her start the machine

3) Tell her/him to try to do their daily business and whenever questions come up explain how to solve the issue (Never touch the mouse or keyboard! If you take it over, it is very likely that you will be to fast)

4) Stop after 60 minutes and if there are still questions do another session the next day (Imagine yourself learning something completely new to you - maybe Chinese - are you able to concentrate more than an hour?)

Some topics I would recommend you to cover during the introduction:

How to setup a new wifi connection (especially if the machine is a laptop)

How to install new software

How to setup a new printer/scanner

How to print/scan

How to restore deleted files

How to get data from/to a USB-stick or mobile device

How to shutdown the machine (not that easy to find on Ubuntu)

Ongoing improvements

So normally now the system should work as intended and if you are lucky it saves you a lot of problems in the future. In this section I will give you some more recommendations, that helped to make the experience even better:

Linux does always ask you for your password if you are doing something that could deeply harm the system. So I told my parents: Whenever that dialog (I showed it to them) pops up, they should keep in mind, that they could destroy the whole machine with this operation and if they want they can call me first.

Show them the app store and tell them, whatever they install from there is save (so no viruses or something) and they can install everything they want as long it is from there. It makes fun to find new cool software and games, so help them to experience that fun too :D

Backups! As it is really easy with Linux you should do a automatic daily/hourly backup of their complete home folder. I use borg for that. (I plan to to write an in-depth blog post about borg in the future, it will be linked here if it is done). So now, whenever my parents call me and tell me that they deleted something or that the machine does not boot anymore I can relax and tell them, that we can restore all there data in a matter of minutes....you can't image how good that makes me feel.

It is not FOSS, but I did install google chrome as it was the easiest for watching netflix and listening to spotify.

I would recommend installing some privacy plugins and stuff into the browser your parents use, so you get them even saver.

If you have some software that does not have a good replacement, try to use wine for it. Worked well with MS Office 2007. (Sorry LibreOffice, but you still can't compete with MS here). PlayOnLinux did help me a lot with the wine setup

If possible activate the automatic update and installation of all security updates.

Conclusion

For me the switch made a lot of sense, as my parents are not heavy technical users of there systems. Should yours be into Photoshop, video editing or gaming I do not think it will be so easy to do the switch over, as Linux and its software is still not a good competitor in this areas.

I would love to get your feedback on this blog post: Did you switch your parents to Linux and how did that work out? Do you have other insights that should be added to this post? Hit me up via [email protected]

Thanks for reading! Simon Frey

p.S. One reason why my parents machine did not boot anymore for several times, was a plugged in usb stick and the bios tried to boot from it. So do not forget to reset the boot order to first boot of the hard drive ;)

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