#does lucien pick out tamlin's outfits for him? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hellas-himself · 4 years

Text

Crack Ship Holidays

Halloween Pt.3- Cassian x Feyre

“There,” I say as I step back and look at the mirror I hung up. I hated the damn thing, every year he put it up and every year I jumped when something else appeared in my reflection, but Cassian wanted a haunted house… So that’s what he got. We spent the entire night before decorating, but I still have one more thing to do.

I walk outside to the backyard where Cassian is finishing up with the tables and chairs.

“Hey, I’m all done,” I say and Cas sets the last chair down and smiles.

“Yeah?”

“So… I have to go get dressed.”

“The sun isn’t even down, bunny.”

“I know but Mor-”

“You’re leaving?” He looks so mortified I feel bad. I take his hand in mine and sigh.

“I’ll be back. I promise. We’ll both be ready before anyone shows up. I’ll help you with the paint and all that.”

He says goodbye- albeit begrudgingly, and I head out before Valo notices.

Mor is way too happy when I get to her house. Her hair is up in rollers and she’s dressed in a short white robe.

“Does he suspect anything?”

“We didn’t really have time to talk about that.”

“Christ, you two are like-”

“Don’t fucking say it. We were decorating.”

“Whatever you say, bunny.”

Mor shrieks and runs off before I can swat her arm.

After I shower, I walk into Mor’s room in one of her pretty robes. She looks like she’s up to no good.

“So your costume isn’t here yet,” she says as I sit on her vanity chair.

“What?”

“It’ll be here soon. Promise. Your make up is going to be easy,” she says and she grabs her tablet off the vanity table to show me. “We’ll be done quick. Then I can focus on your hair.”

“Darlings! I’m home!” I hear Rhys shout and I glare at Mor through the mirror.

“Rhys?”

“Where else can we get a season one Dany outfit on such short notice that looks like the real thing?”

“But he’s had like what, two days?”

Mor smiles as a knock comes to her bedroom door.

“I told him what Cassian was going to be weeks ago.”

“And what if I said no to Daenerys?”

“I’m always prepared, Feyre, darling,” she says in perfect imitation of her cousin. “Rhys, the door is open!”

Her cousin steps in and he immediately notices my hair. He grins.

“You’re exquisite, Feyre.”

I blush. “Thank you.”

“I stopped by your apartment for your boots,” he says, holding them up before he pinches my cheek. He sets the black dressing bag on her bed and unzips it. “The dragon brooch I did not make but it was too easy to find. I used leftover faux leather from Cassian’s costume to finish that bit that goes over your pants. Don’t worry about the wraps for the hands. They’re more like gloves made to look like you sat there and wrapped your hands in leather.”

“Rhys…” I get up and stand beside him. “This is too much.”

“Nonsense, darling. It was good practice.”

“So… with the wig…”

“The top zips up in the back. The pants are more like leggings. So it’s all stretchy.”

“You’re the best.”

“Thank you, darling.”

Mor steals her cousin away, ordering me to change.

I can’t wear a bra with this top but Rhys is a godsend and lined it with a soft fabric. The pants are so form fitting I’m glad I brought two different sets of underwear to choose from.

“Holy shit,” Mor says as she walks into the room and mockingly gets on one knee. “Khaleesi.”

“Shut up,” I say but find myself laughing. Mor gets up and motions for me to twirl, which I do.

“Get out of here,” she says, giving me a tight hug. “I’m sure your Khal is waiting.”

I unlock the door to Cassian’s house and step inside, sighing with relief to be away from the cold. Valo comes running to me and I laugh, scratching behind his ears. I send him off playing with one of his toys. I take off Cassian’s jacket and hang it in the closet before I look for him. He isn’t outside, but I see the lights are going and the smoke machine is on.

The door to his room is open and I hear him muttering curses. I step inside and set my bag on the floor.

“Need help?” I ask and Cassian jumps, turning around. His eyes are wide as he takes me in and I start blushing. I avert my gaze to see the brush and paint in his hands.

“Give me that,” I say and walk over to him. Cas relinquishes both brush and paint but he’s still just staring at me.

“Your hair,” he says softly and I laugh as I open the paint and set the lid down on his dresser. The water bottle and cup I left for this exact purpose is untouched.

“It’s a wig. Sit down.”

Cassian sits down on his bed while I activate the paint with water. I stand between his legs and begin to lightly mark where I have to paint and ensure they’re even on both sides. Cassian’s hands settle on my waist and I giggle when he brushes his thumbs across my skin.

While I begin to paint the left side of his chest and shoulder, he uses his right hand to reach up and twirl a strand of loose curls. I already see the question in his eyes and I laugh.

“Do you know how much work it would take to maintain this color?”

“It’d be worth it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Carefully, I slide out of my boots and climb on the bed to sit behind him. I begin to paint the lines that go down his back and I notice him watching me through the mirror.

“You sure I shouldn’t have covered up my tattoos?”

“For what? This is decorative. And I like your tattoos too much to hide them.”

Elain and Azriel are the first to arrive. My sister has brought cookies and cupcakes, and Azriel is carrying an entire cake. They’re dressed up as Prince Eric, Ariel and Melody. Elain has a red wig on styled perfectly but Iliana doesn’t need one. Her black hair is up in a pony tail, and the crown Elain made is identical to the one from the movie.

“Auntie Feyre,” Iliana says as she picks at her salmon pink dress, “Are you matching my tio? Daddy told mommy that you are.”

“Uh… Yeah, my costume is from the same show as his. Just like you’re matching your mom and dad.”

“Does that mean you’re married?”

I nearly drop the tray of cupcakes. Iliana smiles, reminding me of Azriel when he was up to no good.

“Lia, let’s get going,” Elain says as she walks in from the back porch. “Daddy’s waiting for us outside.”

“I’ll see you later,” Iliana says to me as she slides off her chair. I set down the tray and kneel down to hug her. Loudly, she whispers, “Daddy says I can stay up late because we’re having a sleepover with you and tio.”

I look up at Elain who just smiles.

“Then I’ll be sure to hide some candy for you. We’ll sneak out and share.”

I walk them out and bring the big bucket of candy to leave outside on the doorstep. Az gives me a knowing smile before he takes Iliana’s hand and walks to the neighbor’s house.

Cassian is taking shots with the boys when I walk outside. It’s too cold for this outfit but I’ve had enough whiskey that I’m a little warm.

“Jalan atthirari anni!” Cassian shouts when he sees me. I barely have a second to think before he’s got me by the hips and lifts me up. “I missed you.”

“You’re such a dork,” I said which only makes him laugh. “Having fun, my sun and stars?”

“Yeah, but it’ll be better now.”

The way he smiles at me makes me want to kiss him. Badly. But a bright flash interrupts us and we turn to find Mor holding out her phone.

“Perfect!” she says and goes off to pester Rhys and Lucien, who are dressed as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. It doesn’t dawn on me that she’s dressed as a femme Draco until Andromache walks by as Hermione.

Cassian puts me down and takes my hand, leading me to the drinks. We take a shot and then another before I hear his name being called. We turn to see Amren on the porch, leaning on her sword while she talks to a very tall man with silver hair. There’s a beautiful woman beside him who reaches out to touch the pauldrons of Amren’s Mulan costume.

“Oh, shit,” Cas says excitedly, and takes my hand. “Come on.”

I let him lead me to them and I am taken aback by this woman’s eyes and the tattoos on the man’s face.

“Rowan! You made it!” Cassian says, letting me go to shake hands with Rowan before the two embrace.

“Amren was just telling us how she and your brother made it together,” the woman says.

“Oh, yeah. Rhys. He made our costumes this year,” Cas says and casually points over to where Rhys is, “dueling” with Mor. Cassian sighs. The woman fixes her turquoise and gold gaze on me and holds out her hand[LS1] .

“Since these two have no manners, I’m Aelin,” she says as we shake hands. I laugh.

“Feyre.”

“Oh! Our hopefully new art teacher!”

“You’re Ms. Galathynius? I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you that day, to say thank you.”

“It’s perfectly fine.”

Aelin loops her arm in mine and flashes me a smile that tells me she and Rhys are going to get along far too well.

“Have fun boys,” she says. “My new friend is going to show me around.”

Rowan claps Cassian on the arm and I barely manage a wave before Aelin is leading me off.

I introduce her to Rhys and Lucien, to Mor and Andromache. Nearly everyone. Amren and Varian knew her already, as did Azriel and Elain. Kallias somehow had met Rowan before but Thesan was friends with someone named Manon who knew them all. I didn’t ever get a real chance to know any of Tamlin’s friends so this was nice. Being around Cassian’s friends who he’d made on his own, separate from Rhys and Az, made me feel something I didn’t have a word for.

The living room is packed with people dancing but it’s not hard to find Cassian or Rowan. Aelin lights up at the sight of him.

“It was so hard to convince him to dress up as assassins,” she says. “Boring old buzzard… If he had his way, we would be home sleeping.”

“You guys look amazing.”

“So do you! I was Dany last year but season 7. Rowan made the perfect Jon with how cranky he always is.”

“Did you go to Mor’s party?”

“No… My best friend Elide had her house warming party else I would’ve gone. Cassian talks about you all so much, it’s nice to finally put faces to names. Especially you.”

She winks at me.

Aelin jumps on Rowan’s back when we make it to them. Even though he curses, he still holds her up.

“Let’s dance old man,” she says and plants a kiss to his cheek. He walks off, still carrying her on his back.

“Wanna dance?” Cassian asks me and I smile.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

I’ve got the cabinet open when Cassian walks into the kitchen.

“Hey, I hope you’re not trying to clean. I’m leaving that shit for tomorrow.”

I laugh and take a shot glass out of the cabinet.

“I wanted a drink.”

Cassian stands behind me and places his hands on my hips and leans over as I grab the bottle of tequila. There are limes in the glass bowl we had set out earlier in the day. I’m surprised there are any left.

“Did you have fun tonight?” I ask him.

“Yeah… I’m… I’m really glad you got to meet Ro and Aelin.”

“So am I.”

He rests his chin on my head and I sigh.

“Sleepy?” I ask him and he chuckles.

“No… But I’m wasted, bunny.”

“No more ‘moon of my life’?” I tease. “I was liking that.”

“Yeah?”

I nod, pouring my tequila in the glass cup.

“Where’s the salt?”

“It’s just for me and the bowl’s all out.” I point at the now empty bowl.

Cassian lets me go and grabs the salt from the cabinet. I watch him roll a lime on the counter before finding a knife and cutting it into fours. He puts salt in his left hand, avoiding the leather wrapped around his palm, and goes to sprinkle it on the back of his right hand but it clings to his fingertips. He tries to shake it off but I grab his wrist.

“Hold still,” I say and lick the salt off his fingers. It’s hard not to blush with the way he’s looking at me. When I’m done, I take hold of his hand and take the shot. I give him a grin.

He pins me against the kitchen counter when he kisses me. He takes the glass from my hand and I hear it against the marble counter. I get on my tip toes and Cassian chuckles and holds me against him.

“I’ve wanted to do this all night,” he says as I place my hands on his chest.

“Why didn’t you?”

He kisses my neck and I hate how I dread the answer.

“Cas?”

He stops kissing me and hauls me onto the counter. He places his hands on my thighs.

“I… I wasn’t sure if you would be okay with that.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Cassian shrugs.

Smiling, I run my fingers through his hair before I kiss him. I feel him wrap his arms around me and I twine my fingers in his hair. Cassian swiftly holds me against him, my legs wrapped around him as he walks to his room. He kicks the door closed before setting me down.

I help him out of that heavy belt before he’s trying to figure out how to take off my top. I laugh and reach back to pull on the zipper, letting Cassian do the rest. We undress in a hurry, moving closer to the bed until I’m completely bare and the back of my legs hit the bed. He pushes me and I laugh as I fall back on the bed and kick him away before moving further up the bed. I lay back against the pillows and reach for him as he settles himself between my legs.

There’s something different in the way Cassian kisses me. In the way he touches me. As if I were something not entirely fragile, but precious, maybe. I’ve never felt this close to anyone, and the intensity of it would have scared me once- but this is Cassian. I don’t have to be afraid of anything anymore, not with him. So I surrender to this moment, to these feelings that I’ve been so afraid to acknowledge. I surrender myself entirely to Cassian.

I don’t know why there are tears in my eyes when we’re done but Cassian kisses them anyway. I’m afraid to speak, afraid to break whatever spell we’re under. I don’t want it to end. Cassian lays on his back and pulls me into his arms and I can feel how fast his heart is racing. I’m trembling, but it has nothing to do with the cold. Cassian pulls the comforter over us anyway.

“I love you, Feyre,” Cassian says. His voice is hoarse. Not one day goes by that I don’t hear those words from him, but never like this. Never in the act, never immediately after.

“I love you, Cassian,” I say back, my heart ready to burst in my chest. Even saying it feels different and yet… I feel like I’m finally breathing.

#crack ship holidays #halloween #cassian x feyre #of course these two would dress up as dany and drogo #and of course he's a complete nerd about it #when my drawing skills get better im totally drawing that lmao #these two are so in love with each other and everyone knows it #also adding aelin and rowan was fun as hell #the second i mentioned the music teacher i was like AELIN #Feyre Archeron #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #rhys and lucien as harry and ron tho #*chef's kiss #I should've written the dog dressed up as a dragon #why didn't i think of that till now #part three of four #that yall aint ask for #complete self indulgence

13 notes · View notes

ellanainthetardis · 2 years

Text

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas My rating: 5 of 5 stars I can safely say this one was my favorite of the three (four? Wasn't it supposed to be a trilogy first and should be regarded as such with the next one being a continuation?) One thing SJM does really well I think are characters. I really like the evolution of Feyre. I like that from the start of the first book to the end of the third there is a massive amount of character development (and not just her but Nesta and Lucien too (I think they were the most obvious)). My small bemol on Feyre character is: how special can one get? (view spoiler)[ she's the first one ever to master the ourobos (which i find difficult to believe), she's the first one to figure the Lucien thing... (hide spoiler)] it becomes a bit too much at some point because how the hell did they manage before she came around? I enjoyed Rhys but I couldn't help but feel he was very much "support" in this one, which is okay, we stan a guy who can stand by his love and support her, but for how powerful he is, he wasn't really useful for the 3/4 of the book so maybe that was underused... On the subject of characters... I love Nesta. She is the best and I LOVE her and nobody who knows me will be surprise. Nesta and Cassian are my favorite ship and they easily have the best angsty shippy moments in this one. As for Elain... I'm not sure about this thing with Lucien and I'm really reaaaally tired of love triangle (or is it a pentagram at this point). I do like that she doesn't turn into a badass warrior but still manages to shine. I can see why people would ship her with Azriel instead of Lucien as I don't really dig the whole dynamic between him and Mor. Or Mor and Cassian for that matter. IU understand she went through something traumatic, I understand why she feels she has to hide behind this act (view spoiler)[ although I would have appreciated a resolution on that front, of her finally telling the others about her sexuality (hide spoiler)] but that doesn't justify stringing TWO guys along for CENTURIES in my book. It's just... It's selfish. And maybe she did it out of good intentions but it's selfish as hell because they don't know her reasons and they genuinely think she might be interested so... I otherwise really like Mor, which is a shame because this whole triangle/square thing (when you add Nesta) needs to be resolved like yesterday. Another thing I quite liked was that Tamlin got more nuanced in this book but it made me wonder if the whole Tamlin bashing happening in book two (which I whole-heartedly embrace because he's a bastard) was just a convenient plot point to get Feyre to Rhys. It sort of bothered me that we ultimately see more of book1Tamlin because yeah he's borderline but not as bad as in book2... So... I don't know I just think maybe SJM should have picked a line with him because the whole grey character after book 2 I have troubles accepting. But that might be a me thing. Globally otherwise, I liked seeing more High Lords but there were so many of them don't ask me who is who because they all seemed pretty interchangeable to me. Outside of Beron, Rhys, Tamlin and Tarquin, I couldn't tell you who belongs to what court. The amount of non-con in this book is also astonishing even if it all appears "off-stage". It's a little more addressed than in book 1 (it reaaally bothered me that we never covered the whole Rhys dressed Feyre in see-through outfits, drugged her and made her give him a lap dance) but not in a way that I found satisfying. Yes, we see the consequences of Amarantha raping Rhys and that's already something I guess but the whole non-con thing is soooo normalized... I understand it's an adult (even if it's categorized YA in my country) fantasy world and war is war and horrible things are done to people who can't defend themselves . I understand. But I think there are way to address it or condemn it and here even though the male MC is a rape survivor there is no real condemnation of that kind of atrocity. Obviously he's (and teh rest of his court) is not in favor but the words aren't actually said and it's accepted as normal. It's normalized, particularly where fae/humans aree concerned and I found that disturbing. It's almost expected. I'm not sure that aspect was really dealt with right. On the plot overall... It dragged at some points and there were twists that I felt were not needed because they made the story longer but didn't actually really advance the general plot (view spoiler)[ Elain getting captured and rescued within 2 chapters? Unnecessary. Yes Azriel is wounded and can't really fight until he goes anyway in a dramatic gesture but that could have happened any other way. Yes it proves Jurian and Tamlin are on their side but at that point they could just have showed up and save the day and it would have been the same. It didn't bring anything. There were a lot of comings and goings that weren't useful. The whole monster in the library thing, scrape the ravens, scrape th e monster... Does that really impact the plot? (hide spoiler)] It might have been better to just cut this one into two books if she wanted to have so many not crucial twists. Also there were so many things that happened "off screen" (view spoiler)[ Vassa and Lucien, the Archeron dad magically becoming useful... (hide spoiler)] but do we care about that when it was all happening behind the scenes? Feyre seemed to but I didn't feel it. Also the last-minute deus ex-machina is not a plot point I favor XD (view spoiler)[ I kneeew Drakkon and Miryam would show up, obviously they would show up, but the excuse of the "ooopsy we hid the island too well? It was ridiculous. (hide spoiler)] All in all, for me, ACOTAR is a series that gets better with each new book I read. I reaaaally want to read the 4th one since it's about Nesta. But I think overall I still prefered the Throne of Glass series. View all my reviews

#i read stuff #spoilers #acowar spoilers #namely acowar

0 notes

illyriantremors · 7 years

Text

Beneath the Stars Chapter 8

Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII

AO3 Linkage

Summary: After a particularly regrettable fight with her sisters and Tamlin, Feyre tracks her boyfriend down at Ianthe's Newspaper party and receives an unwelcome surprise. Full breakdown ensues.

Chapter 8

Nesta and Elain froze when they saw me. No one said anything, so I cleared my throat and decided to go first.

“Hey,” and then I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It wasn’t like either of them to be home in the middle of the semester especially on a Sunday night before they’d have to be back early the next day for class.

“Feyre,” Elain said trying to smile at the same time that Nesta said sharply, “We need to talk.”

Elain faced our older sister and pressed her hands downward towards the floor mouthing something. Nesta grimaced, but spoke again with a little intensity. “Mom wants you to come home.”

“What?”

“Can we at least sit down first?!” Elain stammered.

“Fine,” Nesta and I said at the same time taking seats on the living room couches. “What is going on?” I asked. “What do you mean mom wants me to come home? This is home. And when did she decide to talk to you again?”

My sisters looked at each other tightly. Elain bit her lip. “Feyre…” she said slowly with careful deliberation. “We never stopped talking to mom.”

There was a silence during which everyone was uncomfortable and an awful truth sank in. Mom wasn’t talking to my sisters. They were talking to her - actively. I’d had it all backwards.

The only person mom had apparently stopped talking to was me.

And dad.

“But she left us,” I said as a raw spot in my throat went numb. “How could you-”

“We haven’t lived here in years, Feyre,” Nesta said coldly. “It’s time you didn’t either.”

“And go where? With her? Nesta, she hasn’t spoken to me since the night she left.”

“That phone works both ways, you know.” She flipped her hand in the direction of the phone still sitting in my palm. I hadn’t let go of it since I’d left Rhys’s - save for driving of course. “You could have called her. But instead you’ve been sitting here all summer acting like she’s the reincarnation of Hitler and it’s ridiculous.”

“Nesta,” Elain warned, but I was already fuming.

“What’s ridiculous is you defending her. Nesta, mom abandoned us. And she didn’t even bother to say goodbye.”

“That’s because we went with her!”

I sat back feeling like she’d just driven a stake through my heart. “You - you what?”

“That’s right. I dumped dad’s sorry ass and moved in with mom. She got a new place close to school so that she could make it easier on me and Elain with classes.”

I looked to my middle sister. Her body constricted inward on itself as she drew her shoulders up high around her face, her back curving over herself. “What does she mean when she says it’s easier on her and you?”

Elain looked like she might cry. “Feyre - Feyre, we just want you to be safe, okay? That’s all this is about. Mom left so that we could have a normal life because dad’s not well. Now that she has a place arranged, you can get away from him.”

She tried to lay her hand against mine, but I brushed it off. Betrayal took on a whole new meaning as I realized my sisters had left me too. I could see it in Elain’s guilty expression because she knew full well this was a secret her and Nesta had purposefully hidden from me. Why on earth they thought it mattered now to take me away was beyond me.

“Dad’s fine,” I said. “And anywhere with mom could never be a home. Not for me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nesta snapped. She shot out of her seat, ignoring Elain’s strangled gasp and disappeared, coming back a moment later with the kitchen trash can in her hand. It was empty save for at least half a dozen empty alcohol bottles.

Whiskey, bourbon, vodka… whatever dad could get his hands on so long as it took the pain away each night. I hadn’t realized he’d been going through so many bottles after I went to bed.

“You think dad’s okay?” Nesta shouted. “Look at this and tell me this is okay Feyre. Tell me!”

“Shh, he’ll hear you!” Elain said, standing up to put herself on Nesta’s level. Good luck to her. No one could ever pull even with Nesta. She was a tower of fire and venom hell itself could not have forged.

Elain pointed upstairs to where dad’s bedroom was. I prayed he was sleeping deeply by this point, even if that only further proved Nesta’s point…

“I don’t care if he hears me. Let him! He’s an ass for doing this to us and he’s out of his fucking mind.”

She threw the trash can on the floor and the bottles rattled inside causing me to jump. “For fuck’s sake, Nesta - he’s sick. That’s why he needs our help!”

“Get a grip, Feyre. He’s a drunk, and a lazy, depressed one at that. You can’t help him. You can hardly help yourself! Look at you running around with that loser thinking you have a life. You’re just as miserable and pitiful as dad is.”

“Which is why you have to come with us,” Elain said and then froze, realizing how she’d just sounded. “I mean - no, Feyre, I only meant that it’s not good for you to be around dad so much when-”

“I know exactly what you meant, Elain,” I interjected entirely stone faced. “I get it. I’m worthless. Mom said the same thing - right before she walked out. So save it. I’m not going with her. I needed her - I needed all of you - and you all left. Now dad needs me and I’m sure as shit not ditching out on him like the pair of you.”

“Such bullshit, Feyre,” Nesta said, but I cut her off with a shout so shrill, I hardly recognized my own voice.

“That’s enough! For years you have treated me like shit, Nesta and I don’t know why. I’m sorry your perfect sisterhood got interrupted ten years down the road, but you can blame mom and dad for that. So just go back to school. You can pretend like I don’t exist. It’s what you normally do anyway, right? Feyre doesn’t have a life. Feyre doesn’t have friends. Feyre’s not important. Well guess what - you were right. I don’t know why you even bothered coming.”

I stormed past them and managed to wait until I hit the stairs before I let the tears fall. Elain tried to call after me, but I listened as Nesta cut her off and made some excuse about it getting late and early morning classes or some other.

When I heard the car start, I dared peak out the window to make sure they were really leaving and then I went back downstairs to check on dad. The door was shut, but not locked. When I opened it, the room was pitch dark.

Dad was a collapsed heap in the middle of his bed. He was lying on his stomach so I couldn’t see his face, but a second later his body gave a great heave and a heavy snore erupted out of him.

He was okay.

I went downstairs and fetched a broom to clean up the broken beer bottle that had fallen on the floor beside his bed and cracked open, adding it to the trash can Nesta had shoved in my face before taking it all outside.

And then I went to bed wondering if I’d ever have a day that didn’t fill me with some kind of darkness again.

That was the worst part, I decided. Never feeling completely whole. Some days I woke up and watched the world around me burn. Other days I woke up and felt almost normal, but never entirely so.

For some reason, the universe insisted that something had to be off at all times. There were struggles that were easier to pinpoint and understand - problems like the trash can or the unanswered text messages or the unfilled applications, all of which were symbols of a lot more than what they were as simple objects orbiting in and out of my life.

But the days where I couldn’t figure it out, where everything was seemingly fine - those were the days that nearly killed me. I could wake up, pick out an outfit that made me feel good about myself and still feel like dirt.

I could sit at lunch and joke with Tamlin and sometimes even Lucien and hardly touch my food.

I could get an A on every test, come home to find dad stone cold sober, watch my favorite tv show, and get all of my homework done on time and it didn’t matter because I felt miserable. Something was missing. I had people in my life at every turn and I felt disconnected to all of them. I would say things I didn’t mean, ignore the people and ideas that mattered, and let the anger take over while Feyre coasted on autopilot.

The only time I didn’t feel like a complete zombie faking it just to get from one day to the next was my time spent with Rhys and Mor, but I kept those interactions as brief as possible. I sensed Tamlin didn’t like me being around them even though he wouldn’t tell me why, and most days I was too tired to argue. So the guilt clipped my smiles and every time I hung around Rhys for SBC meetings, a little hole in my heart opened up as soon as another closed.

And I was so sick of it. Sick of never knowing what normal felt like anymore. I missed it horribly. Missed understanding what it was like to live life without knowing with any certainty what kind of day I was going to have, what my body was going to dictate I felt regardless of what I wanted. Never had I felt so empty and full to bursting at the same time. It dragged me down and down and down.

Tamlin finally cornered me Monday to talk about the time I’d been spending on student council. He hadn’t spoken to me all day for never calling him back after my first day at work even though I apologized profusely for it all through lunch.

I was just about to open the door to the administration building when I found Tamlin pushing in front of me to slam it shut so hard the window pane vibrated.

“Are you shitting me right now, Feyre?” He kept a hand firmly on the door so that there was no chance of me getting past him.

“What the hell are you doing? Tamlin - shit!”

He stepped in front me, his face only inches from mine. I’d never seen him explode with so much anger before. It made me nervous. Where was Lucien?

“I thought I told you to stay away from Rhys? And now I find out you’re on student council with him? Shit, Fey - is this where you’ve been going every Monday when you ditch on me?”

“Oh because you don’t ditch out on me all the damn time for Newspaper?”

“That’s because Newspaper is actually important!”

All the fire went out of me as that single word Nesta had thrown at me reverberated in my head.

Important.

As in - I was not important.

“I’m getting somewhere with this and you’re wasting your time when I need you most. I tried to call you a million times yesterday and you wouldn’t pick up.”

“I was working. I was…”

With Rhys.

“You were working, huh. At eleven o’clock at night?”

The trash can falling to the floor.

Nesta hollering.

Elain’s milky doe-eyes cringing at me.

And mom, mom was…

“There’s a party tonight at Ianthe’s. She’s announcing co-editors finally. I was going to ask you to go with me, but obviously,” he turned and gestured roughly at the concrete walls I wanted desperately to crawl into, “you have other commitments, so I won’t bother.”

Won’t bother with you is what he’s really saying, my mind registered. When did I get so jacked up?

“If you’re smart - if I matter at all to you, you’ll stay the fuck away from him.”

“What exactly is your problem with him?”

“Should it really matter? Honestly, Feyre. I’m your boyfriend and you should trust me, which is a heck of a lot more than I can say for you right now. He’s not good to be around and he used me and his sister horribly a few years back. Set us both on the wrong path. That’s all you need to know.”

Tamlin left and I hardly took notice of anything as my feet led me mindlessly inside, past the reception desk, and into the meeting room where our SBC sessions took place. I prayed this wouldn’t be one of the days where the principal joined us.

Cassian was the only one there yet and when he saw me, his eyebrows went through the roof.

“What the hell happened to you?”

I sat down and replied with the only two words I knew anymore. “I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you look like crap and that’s putting it mildly.”

Heat flooded my face as a wave of embarrassment crept over me. His expression softened, but he still looked… confused.

“Hey,” he said much more gently. “You know you can talk about it if you need to. I can take the punches if there’s something you need to get off your chest.”

And he meant it. I could tell. Cassian stared at me and he understood something - maybe everything, I wasn’t sure.

I took a good look at Cassian right then, perhaps my first real look at him ever. It was hard to see past the hulkish figure, but for once I managed it. His football jersey hung out of his backpack with dried mud and grass stains worn into the seams. That meant practice almost every day after school. And he wasn’t stupid - not by a long shot. Cassian was taking just as many AP classes this year as Az was. Not to mention Student Council duties which Cassian was very attentive to underneath the pseudo-mockery he made of it.

He’d grown up on the move. Military family, dad probably never home. Was that what drove him? Was that why he gave so much? Because no one gave him anything?

Was that what he was seeing and assessing right now as he stared back at me?

I didn’t have a chance to find out. Mor breezed into the room and plopped down in the seat next to me. I took one look at Cassian and just barely shook my head in the negative.

“Well I’m pooped,” she said throwing her arms down beside her. She had her cheer uniform on so she must have just gotten out of practice. Cheer was an entire period unto itself just like a regular class. “Rhys better keep this meeting short. I’m tired of talking about pep rallies. They get exhausting when you have to perform at every one of ‘em instead of just kicking back in the stands like you lazy lot do.”

She was making a joke, that much was clear. Her smile was bright and clear as always, but when Cassian didn’t say anything and she took in my sullen mood, the redness of my eyes, her curiosity spiked. “Am I missing something, or-”

“Everything’s fine,” I said totally on autopilot. “How was cheer?”

She was still skeptical, but with a fake smile plastered all over my face and an encouraging nod, she was forced to answer my question.

The meeting itself passed in a blur. Rhys really did keep it short and I took the first opportunity to leave when it was over and bolted. He’d been eyeing me worriedly too many times and I kept thinking about what Tamlin had mentioned - how Rhys had somehow hurt him and his sister. I didn’t even know he had a sister.

I’d hardly looked at Rhys or said more than was absolutely necessary. Mor was asking if she could have a word with him when I was halfway out the door.

I stewed for the remainder of the afternoon unable to shake off the memory of Tamlin slamming the door shut in front of me. Tamlin getting in my face and yelling so harshly at me. Tamlin losing his temper so much that it frightened me what he might do standing so close.

Homework went forgotten. I ignored dad when he called up the stairs to my room in the attic that he’d made dinner. I wasn’t hungry. Food just didn’t seem… important.

I nestled in the corner of my room hugging my knees to my chest. The walls were still blank and the thought of painting them as I’d wanted to was now unbearable.

This wasn’t right. I wasn’t right.

I was breaking - maybe even already broken beyond repair.

But I had to try.

By the time I got to Ianthe’s, I could barely drive. I probably should have called someone. Her front yard was a mess of parked cars. The entire Newspaper staff was likely invited and from the sounds of celebration going on inside, it seemed she had already announced her co-editors.

No one answered my knock on the door, so I let myself in. People milled about everywhere and while it wasn’t a booming sound, music played distantly in the background.

Lucien sat on one of the couches with a cup in his hand. He was laughing - the happiest I’d seen him in weeks - chatting amiably with a brunette when he looked over and spotted me. His face went still as death and I recognized the look. I’d worn it too many times myself.

Fear.

I scanned the room and reached the conclusion at the same time Lucien saw it dawn on my face. He shot up in a hurry, but I moved down the hall.

There were too many doors. Ianthe’s house wasn’t multi-storied like most of the upper class mansions in this ridiculous city, but the layout of her lone floor stretched on forever. I could hear Lucien shouting after me.

The first two rooms were empty and the third was a bathroom, but on the fourth I struck gold.

“Feyre, don’t!”

I swung the door open into the dimly lit room. It was too dark for me to see properly, but my other senses took over. I could smell them together - scented the sweat collecting between them. I could feel it too. That tension between them as they moved? It was palpable.

Worst of all perhaps, I could hear it. The sound of skin on skin. The smack of lips sucking and nipping to tease and delight. The crinkle of sheets tangling between their legs.

The groan emanating from Ianthe’s lips as he pressed into her…

My body started shaking. I fumbled against the wall looking for the switch. Lucien collided into me with a whispered admonishment, but the force of him knocked me further and I found the light.

Tamlin and Ianthe were nothing like I’d imagined in the five seconds I’d stood in the dark. They were a million times worse. In the moments between the lights coming on and the realization dawning on Tamlin as Ianthe writhed beneath him, I saw her face - saw how her mouth parted and her eyes squeezed shut with delight and it wrecked me.

Rage replaced the guilt and grief that had ushered me over.

“Feyre,” Tamlin said, all movement ceasing. We stared at each other and I was vaguely aware of the party coming to a standstill behind me. The world was so silent when it came to a standstill. Tamlin’s lips trembled, his chest heaved. He looked down at Ianthe who was clutching the muscles of his arms.

He moved to get off the bed and I stepped back. “Fey?”

My blood boiled. I never wanted to hear my name like that from him again. “Congratulations,” I said keeping a tight leash on my self-control. “I see you got the job. I’m glad all the hours were worth it.”

“Feyre, please.”

“No.” My muscles shook, but I wouldn’t give myself away - not yet. “We’re through.”

“Feyre.”

The sheets pooled at his feet as he stepped off the bed. “We’re through.” I slammed the door in his face - an eye for an eye.

I’d forgotten about Lucien, didn’t even hear him running after me until he had to physically stop me and turn me around outside my car and I shoved him roughly. He looked horrible and I didn’t care.

“Did you know?” I asked. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hear it from him. “Did you know?” I asked a second time. Lucien closed his mouth and I could see his throat clench as he swallowed his anxiety.

“Yes, Feyre. I knew.”

And it all made sense. All those weeks over summer of fighting and biting comments building between the two of them, Lucien’s warning me about Tamlin after Rhys offered me a spot on SBC, the way he and Tamlin barely seemed like friends anymore. Shit, even the night I went to Lucien’s party and he insisted on finding Tamlin himself. Was that because he’d been with her even then?

Tamlin was never obsessed with making co-editor or maybe he was, but it was only one small part of it. He’d been sleeping with her all along.

Was I to assume every late night he blew me off was so he could go and see her instead? Was every staff meeting just an excuse to cozy up to her more? Did he love her?

I decided I didn’t want to know. Lucien froze my car door as I opened it and I snapped at him, “Don’t you dare!” He stumbled back. I’d never yelled at him before. Not once.

“Feyre,” he pleaded, his voice dry. “What did you expect?”

“I expected you to tell me, Lucien! And if you think shooting him dirty glares and giving me cryptic messages about talking to him counts, you’re insane. I mean, for goodness sake, I knew you didn’t particularly care for me, but I thought we were better friends than this.”

“We were - we are. I only-”

“Don’t. Don’t even try to justify it. We’re done. I just want to go home.”

But as I drove away trying not to look at Lucien’s miserable face, I realized this was an outright lie. The further I got from Ianthe’s house, the more the picture of her naked pressed up against Tamlin burned into my mind. The more the tears came fast and hot on my cheeks, burning my eyes as they went.

I felt everything.

I felt the way Tamlin had looked at me like he knew he should be sorry, but he wasn’t.

I felt the way Lucien had startled off the couch, panicked I would discover the truth the I deserved to know.

I felt the way Nesta had thrown the horrible reality of my dad’s situation in my face.

I felt the way every bottle he drank drained me of a little more light.

I felt the way mom yelled at me to get out of her way as she closed the door - said the sight of me with dad made her sick.

I felt how truly alone I’d been for months turning away the only good company offered and clinging to all the bad.

I was in a hole hanging on to the last roots of the earth dug into the sides, dirt caking underneath my fingernails and making me feel dirty for clinging on. If I stepped down any further, there would be no climbing out. I would disappear forever and it terrified me.

The only thing that terrified me more was the idea that I wanted to disappear and never return. That epiphany of understanding just how insignificant I was in the universe threatened to crush me. As I drove, I wondered what it would be like if I took my hands off the wheel and just drifted on, let come what may.

Only important people with purpose in their lives were meant to stay, right?

Somehow, I made it to his house in one piece. I rang the doorbell and waited.

Rhys opened the door and his face shattered.

“I need help,” I said.

And then the dam inside me broke open wide and unabated.

#myfic #beneath the stars #beneath the stars: a feysand fic #bts #feysand #feysand fanfiction #feyre #rhysand #acomaf #acomaf fanfiction

72 notes · View notes

badcharacterization · 7 years

Text

A Court of Mist and Fury

This book has appeared on so many “Best of 2016″ lists, and after reading it I wonder how many 2016 releases these people actually read... Strap yourselves in, kiddos, this is like 8 pages of rage in the original Word document. Unpopular opinions under the cut.

Note: I originally took these down as notes on my phone, I’ve edited for clarity and punctuation and stuff, but not everything is properly capitalized because this book has taken enough of my precious time already. I did something similar with ACOTAR, and will probably post that one later (it is on goodreads though). I should have cited page numbers but that would have taken forever so you’re just going to have to guess from context clues.

-time skip time skip

-the mating bond sounds super yucky

-is this foreshadowing, is Ianthe going to steal Feyre’s shitty man?

-look at them sweet gender roles

-“inherent female magic.” no thank you bro

-Feyre is straight up depressed…and it’s actually depicted well…whoa

-I’m already tired of male this and female that though. We gotta make sure that everyone knows that the Fae are “primal” and “animalistic”

-and everyone is super duper straight apparently?

-so basically Amarantha was faerie Hitler? Just in case you didn’t already think she was super evil. There’s still no explanation of why she was so twisted, and I don’t expect the author will ever give one.

-I smell some vaguely Middle Eastern cultural appropriation

-also Feyre hasn’t learned to read after months in the spring court?

-Amarantha banned holidays, like the White Witch. How original.

-Rhysand suddenly has Feyre’s best interests at heart. He must have an identical, nicer twin.

-I’m still not over him drugging her and forcing her into skimpy outfits. That will never be okay to me, no matter how nice to her he is

-let’s have some more foreshadowing about Ianthe. It’s a little not subtle and barely qualifies as foreshadowing

-I know Feyre is depressed but she is passive in an out-of-character way. She used to disobey Tamlin pretty much reflexively.

-what did Feyre think Tamlin did for income? Of course it’s egregious taxes on all his subjects

-it’s almost like the author realized that ACOTAR had problems at some point and is trying to correct them all. She apparently doesn’t really plan or outline any of her books

-it feels like Tamlin has even less self control in this book than the last one, though it was always pretty bad. The author/narrator acts like this is a significant change and a sign of how what happened has traumatized him but it…isn’t? He was always physically intimidating her and manipulating her.

-I appreciate the author acknowledging that Tamlin is an abusive overprotective jerk, but Rhysand has issues too and he hasn’t really apologized or made amends at this point

-I didn’t expect Tamlin to want a domestic wifey but I guess this is a fae thing or an “omg look how evil he is now” thing

-have some awkward writing

-it is kind of a relief when she leaves the Spring Court, mostly because nothing interesting seems to happen there and it’s all a lot of foreshadowing about Ianthe, and Feyre being surrounded by courtiers with no bearing on what happens

-the introduction of Azriel, Cassian, and Amren is kind of…fanfiction-y. There’s something about the dialogue and how you can tell them all apart in an instant that feels like it was once part of a fanfiction.

-if Velaris is so famous for art and has so many artists and its location is supposedly secret…then who’s buying the shit?

-also where are the farms

-if a girl notices a guy’s scent, it’s done.

-have some more pretty fae dudes, as if there weren’t enough already

-I don’t think the Illyrians were supposed to be POC but their portrayal as warlike, women-abusing brutes is still kinda not nuanced. The name also refers to a historical region and people in the real world so…that’s not great

-Also the mating bond seems to be purely sexual, judging by the case of Rhysand’s parents. It’s actually kind of horrifying, the idea of becoming magically bound to someone you’ve just met and may come to hate in time. Why is it so desirable? Does it usually work out fine? What happens when one partner is already married or spoken for?

-Also it’s creepy as per the usual

-Also obvious foreshadowing lol

-Also a great excuse not to properly develop a relationship

-Time to bash Feyre’s disabled father again

-Ellipses everywhere

-“You needed not to be alone.” How about you quit telling her what she needs mmmkay?

-This sentence made me gag a bit, so I’m sharing it: “the voice was at once the night and the dawn and the stars and the earth, and every inch of my body calmed at the primal dominance in it.”

-And she’s using her pet word, primal, again

-There are flushing toilets in what seemed to be a medieval shit-land…okay

-At least this relationship is being built up better, but I still can’t get over the forced drugged striptease shit

-Amren’s back story is cool

-“Deadly bit of flirtation” Feyre needs to stop being so melodramatic, he was just flirting

-The Weaver is exactly the kind of weird, creepy faerie I’ve wanted to see in this series.

-Barbecue is an odd choice of words

-Rhysand feels more like her tough life coach than a potential love interest right now.

-Why is Feyre acting like Ianthe approaching Rhysand for sex was some unforgivable assault, when he had the power to make it stop immediately? It’s not even comparable to Amarantha.

-And how could Ianthe theoretically force herself on Lucien when males seem to hold more power than females in the Spring Court? Are priestesses an exception? Are there rules about turning them down? Does she enjoy some kind of special status?

-Foreshadowing about Ianthe and Tamlin again

-It’s almost like…Ianthe was behaving like literally every male character in this goddamn series. “The ownership and arrogance in that gesture” hmmmmmm…that sounds familiar

-Double standard time: Sexually aggressive men are just alpha males, sexually aggressive women are eeeeeevil

-Feyre complains that being rich and a woman in the human world is restricting but it seemed like she had a lot of freedoms when she went back and her father had his fortune back. Also, when she was poor. Someone had to know she was sleeping with that Isaac guy. Nesta certainly did.

-Almost forgot about the female mercenary, too

-Also apparently there are queens who are in charge in the human lands, though it was only mentioned in this book?

-The whole humans not having holidays thing is still dumb. They would have created new ones after disavowing fae ones. Whenever people abandon an ideology en masse, something usually crops up to fill the psychological void.

-time to reminisce about how shitty Feyre’s human life was

-It’s not like Feyre’s sisters were also kids when they lost their mother and their fortunes fell or anything

-Cassian and Nesta’s hate thing is a little exaggerated; the ship is almost too obvious. “Look, they’re acting like they hate each other” is a sloppy shortcut to “they have sexual tension and they’re going to end up in a relationship.” Because the author doesn’t want to spend too much time fleshing out any of the other relationships in this damn book

-If Amren ends up being a villain, too, I’m gonna lose my shit.

-Feyre’s human life sucked guys, remember? REMEMBER??? ISN’T SHE SO MUCH BETTER OFF IN DOUCHEY MISOGYNIST FAERIELAND???

-There’s an unnamed brown faerie…such diversity. Much wow

-The food is so good and spicy and shit it’s somehow curing her depression a bit…okay

-Feyre pays a lot of attention to Azriel. Begins to feel weird after the first couple of times

-“Yeah, Rhys, thanks for making me dance like a stripper, but the magical disembodied music was great”

-I almost like Cassian now. Almost

-Unless Ianthe is secretly super powerful I think Lucien doesn’t have to worry about her “preying” on him. Chill.

-So Rhysand and Feyre are basically texting…okay

-Rhysand is petty as shit about Tarquin: “I know we’re not in an actual relationship or anything…but I’m mad because you smiled at him.” All the men in this series need to chill

-Varian and Amren makes no sense. It just crops up out of the blue…and is…a thing

-The language around attraction is interesting and gendered. Men are “predatory” when they’re interested in a woman. He gets “lethal focus” on her. Which leaves me wondering…does he want to fuck her or eat her? I honestly can’t tell.

-What does “tattooed panes of his chest” even mean? His chest is a window?

-Have a very vague description of Rhysand’s room

-SJM always writes romances where the characters instantly click or feel attraction, and the only thing keeping them apart is stubbornness

-This part feels like a draft, it’s a summary of Feyre’s training and interactions with Mor, and I actually want to see what that’s like. Mor was supposed to be a less manipulative replacement for Ianthe, but we hardly get to see her interactions with Feyre

-The way Feyre is dressed, she’s basically being presented as Rhys’s partner and she doesn’t seem to mind? Unless Mor gets a crown, too, and the author just neglected to mention it

-So two of the queens are married to each other? Yay! Background token LGBT characters

-How do the mortal lands even work, politically? Two of the queens can be married to one another and not have to worry about producing heirs? Why so many queens? Do they rule together or each govern different kingdoms?

-Most of the queens get a sentence or two of description, but then SJM goes on and on about the beautiful one and treats her as the most important woman in the group

-Also all beautiful women hate each other at first sight y’all

-I thought she only picked Mor’s name because she thought it sounded cool but she’s actually (clumsily) referencing Irish mythology

-So humans and fae can interbreed, like in the Throne of Glass series

-“The Black Land” seems like the author gave up on names. It also resembles the name for Ancient Egypt, and the description of its history confirms that

-Also what is with all the evil faerie queens running around? How can someone be much worse than Ms. Tortures-Everyone, Amarantha?

-If the queens know of the Veritas but have never actually laid eyes on it, how would they know it shows the truth?

-Okay, let’s have entire pages all about the sex lives of Illyrians. Thanks, Sarah, I really needed to know that

-Of course sex stuff is more thought out than anything with the politics, magic system…or like anything else

-Okay, obviously Rhysand is someone she likes now, why is flirting with him still “lethal” and “dangerous”? Is she afraid of Tamlin’s reaction?

-…how would wings make for interesting sex positions? Maybe my imagination is just lacking but…why

-the description of the court of nightmares is super vague

-It feels like YA female protagonists always have to have a female friend or servant who’s more into clothes and makeup to dress them. It’s almost like a main character can’t actually be invested in girly things

-I think this scene is meant to show how much things have changed since Rhysand forced Feyre to dance like a stripper and drink drugged wine Under the Mountain, because now he asked her permission before including her in his schemes…but it rings hollow for me. This romance doesn’t work unless you ignore everything from book 1

-“That primal, male rage” you just gotta gender everything

-also really convenient that the author gets to attribute everything awful Rhysand has ever done to his “mask” or persona as a high lord

-Yeah let’s keep woobifying him and brining up how awful Amarantha was. It makes him look better…if you don’t think about it too hard

-The Starfall scene is kinda vague and doesn’t do much narratively, just like the solstice scene in book 1.

-LOOK LADIES RHYSAD IS A FEMINIST!!! DOESN’T THAT CANCEL OUT EVERYTHING BAD HE’S EVER DONE?!??!?!?

-So the Illyrian blood rite is basically faerie Hunger Games.

-So Rhysand is not only the most powerful high lord alive, but he’s also the most powerful of all time?

-Feyre’s description of him fingering her is ridiculous. “Every point in my body, my mind, my soul, narrowed to the feeling of his fingers…”

-Why does it seem like SJM has a thing for whipping? Also why are they whipping him? Torture for information? Just to show that they’re a bunch of irredeemably evil dicks?

-This isn’t a YA novel. It just isn’t.

-I sense some drama over the whole “you knew we were mates all along” thing

-Yep

-How is this the most important thing in a fae’s life though?

-Feyre has every right to be mad at him, and confused and shit. Jeesh.

-So the mating bond involves the female offering food to the male…gender roles galore

-If he felt the mating bond when she was human, does that mean that high fae can bond with humans, or that she was meant to change?

-So the faeries who tried to assault Feyre on Calanmai are called “Picts”…that’s an actual historical people, just like Illyrians. Kinda icky, even if no one really identifies with those names anymore

-Her descriptions of orgasms are always ridiculous

-“A slow, satisfied male smile” WE GET IT SARAH HE’S MALE JESUS CHRIST

-They sexed so hard they caused an avalanche? The fuck?

-What’s with all the roaring

-Another “male” smile. This is my least favorite phrase

-Post mating bond behavior is not cute. He wants to fight any “male” who looks at or comments on Feyre, including Cassian, who’s just a little shit

-“Feral” returns

-The mating bond makes them act like animals in heat and FEYRE CAN’T SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT ANOTHER MALE WITHOUT RHYS REACTING? HOW IS THIS DESIRABLE?

-And, sure, he’s fighting it, but this is still being presented as a model relationship?

-“Purr” has returned

-oh no the human queens are such awful bitches for not trusting the people who historically screwed humans over a bunch.

-The description of what happens and what Mor looks like when she holds the Veritas is kind of vague

-It’s understandable and logical for the queens to suspect manipulation, the only really bad thing about them is that they’re willing to abandon the humans on Prythian

-Lemme guess, Nesta and Cassian are mates, too? Isn’t it supposed to be super rare?

-So the beautiful young queen is nice after all. Beauty=goodness, kiddos

-How does Feyre know that the other queens betrayed them? The info could have been tortured out of them and they could be dumping the other bodies all over the city for all she knows? It seems like she’s leaping to conclusions [note: she ends up being right, of course]

-How can Feyre see Amren? Are they that close to each other? Cassian and Azriel are airborne but it sounds like city streets are between Feyre and Amren and buildings should be obstructing the view

-Sometimes SJM tries too hard to be a serious writer

-The fight is pretty cool, it just feels a little too effortless and efficient. It’s also frustrating that Feyre has had this vast power and hasn’t really used it much in combat until now

-her skill is made a little more believable by the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of precision, just raw power.

-Rhys is respecting her autonomy! Let’s just forget about book 1 completely

-So…the ring retrieval was a test to determine if she was strong enough to be his mate, too…not a douche move at all

-So convenient that all of the Hybern soldiers/underlings are sadistic creeps, it means the mains don’t have to regret killing them

-Jurian is described as tan, like many of the other characters in the book. But it just makes me think they’re meant to be white people with tans.

-The King of Hybern has no name and is also described as “blandly handsome” like a man in his 40s…wait I thought all fae are super beautiful and look young?

-So…literally all the faeries in Hybern’s court are dead-eyed and evil and there’s no art or furniture. That sounds fake…but okay.

-Just in case you didn’t understand that Tamlin isn’t just a bad person, now he’s super evil and possessive…oh wait he always was

-He actually has a point about Rhysand, how can you ever fully trust someone who could possibly mess with your mind?

-Also kind of messed up how two of the evil humans queens are like the only queer characters in the goddamn books so far

-why would the queens buy the idea that the king of Hybern is on their side? He wants to bring down the wall, unless he somehow hid that part from them

-it’s baaaaad for women to want power and eternal life. They can only have it if men give it to them

-Speaking of which, IANTHE IS EVIL GUYS! WHO SAW THIS COMING???

-So Hybern and Ianthe’s plan is to overthrow the high lords and let the priestesses rule. I know they’re supposed to be corrupt or whatever, even though there’s not any concrete evidence of this, but how is overthrowing the high lords a bad thing?

-While the twist with Nesta and Elain has interesting potential, Nesta and Cassian being mates is boring

-And super obvious

-Weird that Feyre suddenly thinks of her father, out of the blue, after weeks of not giving a fuck about him, when Elain is changed. Also prioritizing men’s feelings…again

-King of Hybern made a creepy comment about Mor and then forgot her, very cartoonish

-THIS SCENE IS DRAMATIC ENOUGH!!! Why add the Elain/Lucien mates reveal? Jeesh

-Gotta demonize that young ambitious queen for looking at fae men

-Sudden convenient powers

-And now a sudden chapter from Rhysand’s POV

-So Amren says mating bonds can’t be broken, but I’d be more interested in the story if it was in fact breakable and if Feyre and Rhysand would have to decide to live and love without it. This book treats it like the end-all-be-all though

-Awww Amren cares about Feyre after all

-Rhysand’s narrative voice sounds like Feyre’s, where I would expect him to sound very different

-GUYS RHYSAND MADE FEYRE HIS HIGH LADY DOESN’T THAT MAKE HIM THE BEST FEMSINIST EVER?!?!? WOMEN CAN STILL ONLY DERIVE POWER FROM MEN IN THIS UNIVERSE…BUT RHYSAND IS A SEXY FEMININST

-this is treated like a plot twist and I wish the scene had actually been shown…although that would only make this godforsaken book even longer.

-Aaaaand it’s totally confirmed after like two pages that the mating bond isn’t broken…just kill the drama and tension…just murder it

-Lucien is obviously suspicious of Feyre

Final thoughts

-Tamlin allying with Hybern comes off as stupid, not evil. Granted, he did not seem all that intelligent in ACOTAR, but you would expect someone who’s lived for centuries to be a bit savvier. He had to have heard of what Hybern was all about

-Women are constantly defined by their relationships with men. Like apparently the mating bond existed when Feyre was still human and Rhysand sent her visions of the night sky to comfort her and she painted it on her dresser drawer. It’s a minor thing but it just keeps coming up

-Feyre just kinda lacks agency in general. It’s supposed to be this cool, “she’s learning how to fight and defend herself” plot in the middle of the book, but Rhysand determines her goals, and his wants and needs drive the plot more than hers. It gets worse after the mating bond sets in.

-Also Ianthe is the only female character who does not have a devoted relationship with one man and she is demonized for keeping herself independent and sleeping around. Mor also isn’t in an established relationship, but it’s obvious that the author is hinting at her and Azriel being a potential couple.

-I would like to see Cassian cope with a disability, one that makes him worthless in the eyes of his culture…but I know that shit is getting cured ASAP, of course after milking it for a bit of melodrama and man feels. Like, there is no way he’ll actually have to go without his wings

-Ianthe’s betrayal of Feyre’s sisters lacks a real punch. Even when Feyre implicitly trusted her, she obviously didn’t like Ianthe much and her sinister intentions were heavily foreshadowed. If that relationship had actually been established as a strong friendship, the betrayal would seem like much more of a betrayal. Instead, it’s kind of like “Oh no, I knew there was a reason I didn’t like her all along.”

-This book seems to call into question the idea that the high fae are superior to and different from lesser faeries, especially if Illyrians can interbreed with high fae. This still doesn’t indicate where things like the Suriel and the Weaver fit in the hierarchy. It’s implied that both are more powerful than individual high fae, though it seems that the Suriel is pretty easily deceived and captured. The world building doesn’t make any sense if you question it too much

-The whole “lesser faeries deserve better” message that crops up once or twice, in between all the feels and sex, also rings hollow because pretty much all lesser fae so far have been demonized or portrayed in a negative light. The Picts, the Naga, the Attor and his dudes, etc.

-If Rhys is so awesome, why let the Court of Nightmares keep existing in its current state? Especially if he supposedly cares about Mor so much?

-In that scene where Feyre is watching her sisters get dunked into the cauldron, it all feels very detached. She’s watching Cassian and Lucien’s reactions, when I feel like she should be very narrowly focused on her sisters and what’s happening to them. The author doesn’t fully commit to the first person POV, because she wants to make it very, very super obvious to the audience that Cassian is Nesta’s mate and Lucien is Elain’s, but it makes the scene lack something emotionally. First person gives you the ability to make the narration emotional and immediate, but that comes at certain costs. One character can’t see or notice everything you want them to.

-Also she’s just always got to prioritize male feels over female suffering. OH LOOK SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING TO A WOMAN AND OH NO A MAN IS REALLY REALLY SAD AND ANGSTY ABOUT IT LET’S FOCUS ON HIM INSTEAD

-The author just seems to care more about men than women, in all honesty, and this is part of the reason I can’t just escape into this world or consider this book even a guilty pleasure. The Throne of Glass books were starting to get this way, too, especially because she keeps killing off the girls of color in that series.

-And basically any woman who’s greedy or doesn’t derive her power from a man is demonized. Especially if they’re sexually active or aggressive in their pursuit of the men they want. Rhysand’s behavior in ACOTAR was even worse than Ianthe’s, it’s such a double standard and it’s laughable that anyone would call these books feminist. There is nothing in Ianthe’s actions to imply that she is violating any of the men she’s pursued. She’s pushy, shady, and needs to learn when to back off, sure, but it’s not like she’s assaulting anyone. Especially when the men she’s gone after are obviously way more powerful than her (Lucien, too, is obviously the heir of the Autumn Court, even if he enjoys lower status in the Spring Court).

-I’m still not over the idea that getting rid of the High Lords would not be bad. Like, Rhysand and Feyre both agreed that the current social system is stultified and deeply unfair to “females” and “lesser faeries”? How is the idea itself so bad and repulsive to them? They react with disgust and shock when Hybern brings it up

-I feel like pretty much every character is more interesting than Rhysand, with the possible exception of Tamlin. This may be mostly because I feel that they have potential and that the author hasn’t written enough about any of them and hasn’t had the chance to ruin them or waste their potential (like Manon in Throne of Glass). She just tries way too hard to make Rhysand seem sympathetic and loveable after all of the questionable things he did in book 1. And it shows.

-Come to think of it, it’s super strange that the Night Court lands are so neatly divided into “sadistic shitty assholes” in the Court of Nightmares and “peaceful artsy people” in Velaris. Like, what nation has ever been like that? People aren’t either irredeemable dicks or good people, every place has a mix of people.

-Amren feels like the kind of character I would love with a different author, but is barely developed. Same with the rest of the inner circle: Azriel is too much of a cipher to really make me care, Cassian is kinda all over the place, and Mor is built up as this amazing female role model who’s been through so much and has great inner strength…but then the author barely pays attention to her. Basically, the author cares about her self insert and her perfect love interest, and everyone else is just set dressing.

-The King of Hybern is so boring, and is just like the King of Adarlan in Throne of Glass. The comparison is even more obvious because neither of them ever receives an actual name.

-There were some moments where ACOTAR was well written/compelling, however fleeting. There were also spots that showed some potential. There are more of those in this book, but as more of the world is revealed, it becomes clear that it’s all built on heteronormativity and a rigid view of gender and gender roles. The magic system is poorly developed, the politics and geography is poorly established, and the plot limps. Instead of tightening these things up, the author chooses to focus on romance and sex, pausing frequently to allow the main characters to have sexual tension, going on for pages about the sex lives of her winged fetish-boys, and demonizing anyone who stands in the protagonists’ way. This story isn’t really about the looming war, it’s about two people falling in love and having a bunch of sex. All of the other stuff is just stuff she needs to put down on the page so she can get back to describing male abs and sex scenes. That’s not to say that this is a bad thing, but I expect more plot, world building, and character development out of something that’s labeled as “fantasy” and about 600 pages long. And the romance just doesn’t work for me. Too much brooding and woobifying, the bond is just boring and too convenient.

-There were a few times I almost quit this book, but about midway through I started hearing about what a shitfest ACOWAR is and that motivated me to finish, because I love a good shitfest, if I’m in the right mood.

#Books #YA #Fantasy

1 note · View note

rowan-and-rhysand · 7 years

Text

Rowan:

You have a fever, so Rowan uses his powers to keep you cool when you’re overheated or warm when you have chills. He keeps fresh air circulating the room to help your overworked lungs and has an ice pack constantly ready to soothe your pounding headache. He fusses over you all day and it’s the most adorable thing ever.

Rhysand:

He takes you to the cabin when you are sick, both for fresh air and some alone time to get better. The cabin’s magic takes care of both of you and without responsibilities and plenty of sleep, your health improves fairly quickly. You get back to Velaris a week later even though you were only sick for three of those days. That alone time was definitely used to it’s fullest extent.

Aelin:

She makes you into a roll of blankets and then realizes that she didn’t leave you enough room to move your arms. So then its a process of unrolling and re-rolling so she can hand you the steaming cup of tea she’s been keeping warm –and proceeds to keep warm enough so that it soothes but does not burn your throat. When you’re done, she provides an abundance of books to read and says ‘bless you’ literally every single time you sneeze.

Dorian:

The King of Adarlan gives you a massage when you are sick in bed. With both his magic and physical hands, Dorian rubs your shoulders and feet until your body is completely relaxed. He then proceeds to kiss up the length of your body and you honestly completely forget about your pounding head and screaming throat. Especially when Dorian takes it upon himself to place a sweet peck right on the tip of your red nose.

Cassian:

He makes you the best chicken noodle soup you have ever tasted. It glides easily down your sore throat and soothes the aching of your stomach. He will sometimes take the bowl from you and feed you himself, because he loves to take care of you. You finish three bowls that way before you’re finally full and Cassian lets you stop, replacing the spoon with a tissue and a cough drop.

Chaol:

You try not to show it, but Chaol recognizes that you are sick in the middle of a meeting one day. He stops the entire conference and escorts you back to bed, despite your protests. ‘We can meet with those stuffy old men any time. Right now, you have to get better.’ Then he’ll call a messenger to tell anyone who is looking for you that you and him are spending the rest of the night in and that no one should disturb you.

Hasar:

The princess uses the excuse of you being sick to take the day off and help you get better. The two of you put on your comfiest pajamas and spend the whole day relaxing, being catered on, and sniffling. Hasar will do a fashion show and try on probably everything in her closet to entertain the both of you, and always does a strip tease when she’s changing outfits. Her only goal all day is to make you laugh.

Azriel:

When you are sick, Azriel will cuddle with you. He holds you close and wraps his wings around you while you sleep it off. The shadows tell him when you are about to throw up and he will rush you to the bathroom before you even know what’s happening. His gentle hands brush your hair back from your face and run soothing circles over your back as he waits for you to be done, and then its back to cuddling until it all repeats.

Lorcan:

Just like when you start your cycle, Lorcan usually realizes you’re sick before you do. He stuffs you with vitamins to try and ward off the germs but sometimes its too late. During those times, he always makes sure you are equipped with the right tonics to keep you up and feeling good. He will not have you reduced to bed when there’s things to be done. But he is also always there to carry you back to your room when the day is over.

Lucien:

You insist that he doesn’t have to stay with you, that you don’t want to get him sick, but Lucien will have none of it. He cancels any plans he has for the day and hops into bed with you. He opens windows to let in fresh air and makes sure you always have an ample supply of tissues at your disposal. And sometimes, if you really are so sympathetically sick, he lets you braid his hair just to see a smile on your face.

Mor (modern au):

Both of you get sick at the same time and Mor decides to make it a party. She rents a dozen movies, piles blankets all over the couch, and surrounds you with tissues and snacks. You spend the next few days getting better watching anything from chick-flicks to horror movies, cuddled under mounds of fluffy comforters and pounds of junk food.

Fenrys:

The only person you let near you when you are sick is Fenrys. His light hearted comments keep you in a state of drowsy contentment. He coaxes you through your vomiting and never balks from it, instead holding your hair back until you’re done and then helping you brush your teeth and feel normal again. Then he’ll carry you from the toilet back to bed and hold you until you fall back asleep.

Helion:

When you can’t fall asleep from coughing, Helion reads to you. He props you up against his chest and places a sweet kiss to your hair before opening a book and beginning a story. You’re not entirely sure if he’s actually reading the book or making something up but his calm, deep voice lulls you to sleep eventually, and it’s the best rest you’ve had in a long time.

Gavriel:

He panics when you’re sick, freaking out because he doesn’t know if its serious or just a common cold. He calls in the best healer in the city to make sure you’re not about to die or something and the healer always scolds him for being so dramatic because its just a head cold. However, he makes sure that you are always properly medicated and follows every instruction the healer gave. He does not take any chances when it comes to your health.

Lysandra:

She turns into the cutest, fluffiest, little puppy you have ever seen and curls up on your stomach, burying her tiny snout in your sweater with big sympathetic eyes staring up at you. It makes you laugh and she is content to sit there for hours as you pet her. It’s soothing and most of the time coaxes your body to relax and let it heal itself. You’ll wake up after a nap with Lysandra in her human form petting you, gentle hands brushing your hair back and placing a kiss on your forehead.

Kallias:

Naturally, the High Lord of Winter has an abundance of ice-cream, which he uses every excuse to eat. When you’re sick, the two of you make enormous sundaes with every kind of topping and then eat it together. It helps your burning throat and makes you smile when Kallias accidentally gets some on his face that you take the liberty to wipe off for him.

Aedion:

Apparently, Aedion believes that if you are sick, you have no function over your limbs and takes it upon himself to carry you absolutely everywhere. Even if its just six paces to the bathroom, Aedion will pick you up and drop you off at the door, then proceed to wait until you’re done to carry you back to the bed. You would swat him away but it’s nice to be cared for, and you know his Fae side likes to feel needed, so you sacrificially allow him to do as he pleases.

Tarquin:

He draws a hot bubble bath for you both to soak in when you start to get stuffed up. The steam rising from the water helps to clear your sinuses. Of course, being in the bath with the High Lord also helps to lighten your previously sullen mood... For example, having a bubble fight never fails to make you laugh... or whatever else your dirty mind thinks up.

Sartaq:

If Sartaq could stay in bed with you all day to cuddle, he would. Unfortunately, duty calls, and usually he’s gone before you wake up. However, he leaves you breakfast before he goes every morning and if he notices you coughing or sniffling in your sleep, he’ll make sure a steaming cup of soothing tea and a tonic go along with it.

Tamlin:

He barely notices when your sick, and usually avoids you like the plague so he doesn’t get sick either. Because he’s ‘too important’ to be bed-bound.

0 notes

aelin-and-feyre · 7 years

Text

Preferences: When You’re Sick

I just hit 4,500 followers today and I’m super sick rn so I decided I had a lot of inspiration for this particular preference because its just what I want right now

Requested by @dreams-of-feysand @writergash and some nonnies

Preference Tag List: @dreams-of-feysand @runesandfaes@autumn03 @fiery-feyre @januarystears@caitlyn-blackwell @starzablaze @writergash @illyriangoddess @wyrdtoyourmother @perks-of-being-a-lunar @justbooklover @aelinxfeyre @queen-archeron@twirling-pages (Let me know if you want to be added to this list!)

Rowan:

Rhysand:

Aelin:

Dorian:

Cassian:

Chaol:

Hasar:

Azriel:

Lorcan:

Lucien:

Mor (modern au):

Fenrys:

Helion:

Gavriel:

Lysandra:

Kallias:

Aedion:

Tarquin:

Sartaq:

Tamlin:

He barely notices when your sick, and usually avoids you like the plague so he doesn’t get sick either. Because he’s ‘too important’ to be bed-bound.

Request More!

Preferences Masterlist

524 notes · View notes

feysand9299 · 7 years

Text

Love undercover part 14

Previously...

"Meeting dismissed we will met tomorrow at the same time." I say. I then all of a sudden become aware of the piece of paper hidden in the back of my shoe.

Now...

I stand and look around i have to tell someone. I have to stop it i can't lose anymore in this life time. Rhys grabs my hand.

"Feyre what's wrong."

"Nothing." I say turning to leave.

"Excuse us for a minute." Rhys says following me. I walk in to his room. He shuts the door behind himself.

"Whats wrong."

"Nothing Rhys."

"Don't lie to me." He says Pulling me close.

"Nothing."

"Liar." He says letting go the darkness pooling of him in anger .

"Rhys, nothing is wrong ."

"Why are you lying to me i want to help you." He begs taking my hands .

"Rhys i'm fine. I'll figure it out." I yell Backing a step away pulling my hands away.

"Please feyre tell me. You don't ever have to figure things out by yourself again. Tell me." He begs and holders my hands a little tighter.

"I CAN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF LOSING ANYMORE IN THIS LIFE." i say backing up hitting the wall.

"What could you possibly lose I will protect you and our city and our family." He says stepping closer. I push off the wall.

"You can't protect everything I love because of you're selflessness." I yell walking away. He grabs my hand.

"Feyre I protect myself more then you think." He says.

"Until something threatens me or our city."

"Well yes."

"Rhysand I'm a grown woman i don't need you protecting me. You are the high lord of the night court. Your duty is to our people. "

"Feyre I Know this. What i don't know is why your acting like this." HE says pulling me close. I push him off.

"I'm acting like this because I Can and will not lose feyre."

"You'll never lose me. Why would you think that. " He says laughing.

"Because Tamlin plans on killing everything in the night court. everyone in our city. So I ask you s the high lord of the night court. If it came down to it. Me or our city rhysand?" I ask Him sliding down the wall. He stands there as if frozen only movement is his eyes watching me slide down the wall.

"Don't make me choose."

"You won't have a choice. Me or the city." I yell crying.

"You. I would give everything for you. It'll always be you.."

"Rhys no.." I pause standing. I grasp both sides of his face.

"No our city comes before everything. The city is the life of our court its what makes this court lively. You will be fine without me. Your a big boy who has lived with out me forever 500 years.

"It was 500 years of torture though."

"Rhysand our city will mourn with you. Every time you go to that cabin, every time you go to the rainbow ally, or go to the little lace things shop think of me."

"You make it seem like your leaving." He says sliding down the wall beside me.

"I'm not I just want our city to be wasted if someone made you choose."

"OK." He says holding my hand. I let go and pull my dress to my mid thigh and straddle his hips. I then kiss his forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you to."

"Good." I say laying my head on his shoulder and hugging him to me as he kisses my neck sucking and biting.

(5 minutes later)

After Sitting in rhys lap while he leaves hickeys up and down my neck. I stand up as rhys whines. I grab his hand and he stands I push him on the bed so he's sitting and straddle his hips. He laughs and unzips my dress he goes to pull it off my arms when i stop him. I'm hit with flash backs of the two nights ago. I quickly get off Rhys and grab a stack of clothes I run to the bathroom and lock the door. He beats on the door .

"Feyre whats wrong."

"Nothing, I just need some space."

"Feyre please, don't shut me out." He begs as I claw the dress off as it gets harder to breath. I stand there looking in the mirror as the flashbacks hit again. I throw the crown shattering the bottom of the mirror shattering it so there are a million reflections of my stomach i scream and cry and clutch my head as the memories replay as if they a home movie on repeat. I hear rhys yelling and his darkness creeping under the door.

"Go AWAY." I yell throwing out light to keep if away.

"Feyre Please."

"Leave me alone for a second."

"I'll be back with the others.

(5 minutes later.)

I hear them all in the hall talking then mor is yelling until one comes in as I cry and Clutch my head.

"Feyre its amren let me in we need to talk."

"Leave me be." I say. She leaves only for someone to come to the door.

"It's mor." she says.

"I'm only going to talk to Lucien at the moment. send him in" I say as i sink to the floor ignoring the glass as it cuts my legs. I hear a knock on the door.

"Feyre its me." Lucien says.

"winnow in." I say and he does. once he sees me he closes his eyes and hands me his shirt. He puts it on me. He then picks me up and sits me on the edge of the tub and starts picking glass out of my leg.

"What happened." he says.

"I can't do it."

"Do what."

"Let him see me like this." I say crying. He stops and hugs me

"Feyre, He's your mate he loves you no matter what."

"Just stop." I say

"Feyre." I pleads as i scoot away.

"It's fine I know he'll understand. I just need to think."

"Feyre I'l always be there." He says.

"I know and I thank you for that." I say as he finishes on my leg.

I then grab the stack of clothes and remember i have to be strong for my sisters they need me as the adapt to this new realm. I hand Lucien his shirt and change in to a black lace bra and my white button up and jean shorts with the brown belt. I then roll up the sleeves and and tuck some of the bottom of the shirt in.

I leave me hat and shoes on the counter as Lucien finishes the sweeping the glass up. I hug him and open the door everyone is standing there.

"Me and Rhysand need to talk for a few hours. We will be in the cabin show the high lords to there rooms except beron." I turn to mor and amren.

"Lock beron in dungeon in the magical cuffs i don't him going any where and keep him away from his children. also cassian and azriel go to the mountain house. Lucien I need you to stay here and watch over beron." I say they all nod and leave. I grab 3 or 4 outfits for me and rhys.

I look up and see rhys looking shocked.

"Are you ok."

"We will discuss this in a second." I then grad the bag and rhys hand. I then winnow us to outside the house. We walk in i still see the paintings everywhere. I walk in to the biggest room and rhys walks in behind me. I drop the bag as rhys looks at me.

"Will you love me no matter what." I ask. All he does is smile. It kills me that the smile i love is about to turn to disgust.

#feysand9299 #Feysand #feyre #rhysand #Lucien #cassian #Morrigan #mor #amren

3 notes · View notes

feysand9299 · 7 years

Text

Love Undercover Part 10

Previously...

(2 hour later.)

I kiss beron's cheek and tell him bye he then goes in to maze. I look to see its 6. I winnow to my room and a change into a blue lace teddy. I then quickly walk over to tamlin’s room. I walk past the foyer, living room, and some other rooms not looking around.

I climb on top of tamlin's bed I then lay on my side with my back towards the door and prop my head on my elbow just as the front door opens and tamlin comes in.

"Feyre?" He says.

"In here love." I say. he then walks in the room. He looks me up then down his gaze changing from passionate to lust and hunger as he licks his lips.

Now...

I fake a smile as he stokes towards me. i then enter his mind as i pin him to the bed.

I am tamlin. i am you. i am tamlin." I say as i slid into his mind i hold the door and trick his mind and senses while i ravage through his mind.

Tamlin takes off his cloths as i take off mine. He traces my wounds.

"I'm sorry i couldn't protect you."

"It's ok." I say kissing his neck.

He groans and bites my neck. I moan and arch towards him as he climbs on top of me.

I roll my eyes and search his mind as the fantasy continues. As im digging I find out that he's just a child in a man’s body. I find that he's working with Beron because He lied to Beron about giving him the summer court in exchange. He's going to kill Tarquin because he put the blood ruby out on me. I then find out that he's going to kill Beron because of his sons. Then I find out that he's got a second study with proof of these things. The study is the study in my room so if i ever tried to leave Rhys. the it turns out the same is for Lucien. I Finish in his mind as he finishes the fantasy and rolls to where he was sitting in real life. i get up and throw on his shirt for show and climb back in the bed as he watches me.

"That was amazing." He says pulling me closer carefully.

"Thanks." I say faking a blush as he turns me towards him.

"I don't wanna leave you here alone with them but I promise i'll be back in two weeks." He says kissing me. I kiss back. He gets up and gets dressed. Then throws a few of his things in a suit case. I get up and help him. He then takes my hand and walks out. we walk down the stairs. I look to see the clock says it's 7:30. We walk to the front balcony with step descending on both sides. He stops and puts his bags down. He then hugs me.

"I'll miss you." I say adding some fake tears. He pulls back leaving one hand on my waist as the other cups my cheek.

"Don't cry i'll be back to you."

"I know i just wish you wouldn't go."

"I Wouldn't if it were up to me." He says he the cups both my cheek he kisses me, picks up his bags and walks out side of the no winnowing zone and turns to me as he winnows away. I wipe my eyes and turn towards the house to see Lucien, Alec and Beron. I smile and walk up the steps ignoring the fact that Alec stares at my body like im a piece of meat. I walk into the house winking at Alec as i walk by. I go to my room. A few seconds later there is a knock on the door. I open it to see Lucien. I let him in and shut the door. He goes to the dinning room outside the bed room and sits down.

"So what about my brother's they’ll tell Beron the moment they notice we are gone." He says as i do into my room and start changing out of the outfit. I then all of a sudden stop and cover the mirrors.

"You know it's ok to look at it." He says coming in.

"I know i say throwing the flannel shirt and shorts on along with my sandals.

"Then look."

"No."

"Why." He asks again.

"I Don't want to."

"Why."

"Because I don't want to."

"Why"

"Why." He says again after I don't answer again

"BECAUSE I CAN'T."

"What." He replies.

"I can't look it. I can't bring myself to do it."

"Feyre, it's ok."

"No, No It's not how am suppose to let him see me like this." I say as tears slid down my face.

"He will love you no matter what."

"NO I'VE BEEN BRANDED LIKE A COW. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE IT'S THE NAME OF HIS ENEMY."

"Feyre it's OK." He says Hugging me.

"Feyre Look at Me." He says lifting my chin with his hand. Most people would find it intimate but we both have mates. so we aren't worried. I look into his eyes.

"He won't be mad you he'll be mad at my brothers and tamlin for not watch over you." He says.

"I know." i say pulling back and away.

"Your brothers We will grab them on the way to the court. We lock them in the dungeon and don't tell rhys."

"Ok. What about me." He says.

"You will be at my sides at all times so i can protect you and elain." I say.

"Ok."

"Now we need to go through the studies."

"OK."

(4 Hours later)

We go through all the studies and gather all the papers. We then go to the war room. To enter the room, I shape shift into tamlin. Lucien looks at me in awe. Once inside I shift back into myself.

"I didn't know you could do that."

"I Can Do lots of things now."

"How."

"When I was in the night court Rhys trained me. Also, taught me to read."

"Oh." He says walking around.

"So, Elain uh." I say smiling.

"Yes."

"You know she'll forgive you right."

"I prey to the cauldron she does."

"She will once she sees you’re with me."

"Ok." He says as i pull on the bond and let Rhys in so he can see through my eyes.

"The first thing hybern doing is taking the village you lived in." Rhys says as I look at the table.

"Then what."

"Then he's going to take the country and blame it on us."

"OK. thanks, i'll see you to night with Beron." I say.

"What."

"Beron. I'm bring him."

"Ok."

"Love you darling."

"Love you two." I say. He then leaves. I shut the shield and pick up and all the papers on the desk.

"What time is it." I ask.

"It's 15 past 11."

"Go get ready. Be at my room by midnight with Alec."

"Yes my lady." He says leaving. I winnow back to my room ad put on my armor from the night court. I then gather all my weapons together. as i finish i hear a knock on the door.

"It's Beron."

"Come in." I say coming out of the bedroom and shut the door.

"So..." Beron says smiling.

4 notes · View notes