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bedsyandco · 5 months

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Better off Together • Emerson x Will

23 December ‘23

Emerson was sitting in one of her favourite cafés in San Jose, enjoying the company of Thomas and William a few days before Christmas. She’d been soaking up these few days back home, enjoying the break from Boston and the situation she found herself in there. It’s been a few weeks and Em can finally think about Will without feeling like she’s going to throw up.

“How’s lover boy doing?” Thomas asks teasingly.

“He’s uh- I wouldn’t know actually. We ended it.”

“You ended it?” William asks

“He ended it,” Emerson say, seemingly fascinated with the menu laying in front of her

“He ended it?” Thomas asks disbelievingly

“Yes Thom, that’s what I said. He broke up with me.”

“Why?” Thomas asks

“A lot of reasons. The main one being that I didn’t want to tell my dad about us yet and that meant keeping our relationship a secret. And the fact that he thinks I don’t love him.”

“Do you? Love him?” William asks and Em nods still not making eye contact with them.

“Did you tell him?” Thomas asks

“Even if I did, actions speak louder than words and he was right mine doesn’t say that I love him,” Emerson says

“Why don’t you wanna tell your dad?” William asks

“I just don’t know how he’s gonna react, with how everything ended with Jason. And Will is apart of our organization, it would be frowned upon for me to be romantically involved with him,” Emerson explains

“I’m pretty sure your dad already knows.” Thomas says

“There’s no way,” Em argues

“He went to Boston multiple times over the last few months. Did he come see you once? Because if he didn’t, who else is in Boston except Will?” Thomas asks

“The sharks played Boston at some point,” she says

“Not more than once. I’m like 99.8% sure your dad has been visiting Will and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he’s known all this time.” Thomas says

“He would’ve said something. They both would have said something.” she argues

“Or maybe both of them were waiting for you to tell them,” William says and Em bites her lip while she contemplates this information.

“I have to go,” she says abruptly making her way out of the cafe and into her car, driving home.

—

“Dad?” Emerson asks, knocking on her dad's home office door.

“Come in sweetheart,” her dad calls and she pushes open the door, entering the room and sitting on one of the chairs, wiping her hands on her pants nervously.

“What’s wrong Emmy,” her dad asks worriedly

“Can we talk about something?” Em asks and her dad closes his laptop, giving her his full attention. A rare occurrence.

“It’s um-“ em starts, unsure of how to word this properly.

“Is this about a certain boy? He looks a little bit like a Disney prince.” her dad asks amused

“You do know,” she accuses and her dad only smiles

“Of course I know Emmy. You’re my daughter and he’s one of my prospects, you really thought you could hide that from me?” her dad asks gently, a little bit of hurt shining through his expression at the thought that she’d want to.

“I wasn’t sure how you were going to react, knowing he’s part of our team and it would complicate things. Also the way things ended with Jason-“ she says and her dad cuts her off

“Let’s not even go there. Don’t even say his name. Will’s nothing like him.” her dad says and she eyes him sceptically

“You know him well?” Em questions her father

“I’ve had dinner with him a few times. Threatened to keep him in the minors for years if he kept seeing you,” her dad says and Em’s jaw drops

“You did not,”

“I did. Kid took it like a champ though. Respectfully told me that I need him just as much as he needs me, which is true. Also told me that he loves my daughter and he’s going to continue seeing her despite what I had to say. Our dinners after that were quite pleasant, mostly discussing his hockey.”

“So…if I were to tell you that I was in love with said Disney prince looking hockey player… you would approve?” Em asks

“Let’s just say if you have to date a hockey player, I’m glad it’s him,” her dad says and she smiles faintly, standing up at the same time her dad does and going to give him a hug.

“Dad?” She mumbles against his chest

“Yeah?”

“Can you buy me a plane ticket to Sweden?” she asks sweetly smiling up at him

“It will be waiting for you under the tree,” her dad answers, kissing her on the head.

—

25 December ‘23

Em: “Merry Christmas Pretty boy,”

Is the text Will wakes up to on Christmas morning and he really does feel like a little kid on Christmas because of it. It wasn’t expected. Him and Em, while on civil terms haven’t communicated much, if at all, since their break up, but she seemed in a good mood and he missed her so he wasn’t about to ruin it for both of them. She hasn’t called him pretty boy in so long.

Will: “Merry Christmas Princess,”

Em: “Good luck tomorrow.”

Is the response he receives and he’s a little disappointed because that seems a lot like goodbye already.

Will: “you’d love Sweden. We miss you.”

Is what he decides to text back, knowing she could see everyone’s posts, and the whole group was here but her.

—

31 December ‘23

Em feels a little nervous as she sits next to Rory, gripping her hand tight. She doesn’t know if this was the best decision, showing up to the game wearing Will’s jersey. Her flight got there last night and she went to bed as soon as she got to the hotel, sleeping right up until she had to start getting ready for the game.

She texted Rory before deciding to come to Sweden, coordinating hotels and arena seats. They were sitting right in front of the glass, behind Jacob’s net. The first guy that notices her is Jacob, sending her a little smile, and he really doesn’t look that surprised to see her at all. Rory must have told him she was coming.

Then comes Drew and Gabe, both spotting her at the same time. Drew only nods politely but Gabe stops and points to her saying “nice jersey” before skating away.

Ryan and her spot each other at the same time but she glances away first not wanting to prolong that communication, dismissing him effectively as he we skates past them without stopping towards two girls sitting only a few seats away from them. She recognizes them from Rory’s instagram knowing one of them is dating Ryan. She would be more intrigued to study the girl that her best friend is supposedly so infatuated with but Will comes into her vision in that exact moment capturing all her attention.

He’s so shocked to see her all his movements stop and for a second he’s just standing there looking at her until Gabe shoots a puck into his skate, snapping him out of it.

Em wipes her hands on her pants before bending down to pick up her sign, holding it up to the glass so that Will can see.

“Score a goal…Score a date”

Will shoots her a wide grin, no doubt also thinking about the fact that this is how their first date also came to be.

“Just one?” Will asks and she nods.

“The reservation is already made, for when we’re back.” She says, so Will knows that even if he doesn’t score tonight, she still wants to go on that date. Will sends her a smile, putting his hand on the glass for a moment before skating away, knowing this wasn’t easy for her. Though he wasn’t sure that wearing his jersey in Sweden, where barely anyone knew them had the same significance as wearing it at home would, it was a step, and he could acknowledge that.

—

The night ends in a win for the guys and she returns to the hotel, not sure if it was the best idea to wait for Will to come out of the locker room like the other girls.

An hour or so later Em was just about to get in her bed when she heard a knock on her hotel door. The sight she saw when she opened the door was one she was sure she wouldn’t soon forget. Will was standing there, in his game suit, the top two buttons undone, his hair a little messy and still damp from his shower.

“Hi,” she says a little dumbfounded and Will smirks at her.

“You gonna let me in?” he asks amused and Em opens the door wider, letting Will slip inside.

“You’re in Sweden,” he simply states taking off his blazer and hanging it across the vanity chair.

“I’m in Sweden,” she confirms even though they can both obviously see she’s here.

“You flew to Sweden, from California?” Will asks

“I did,” she answers

“You’re in Swe-“

“Yes Will. I’m in Sweden, I flew here from Cali. Ask me why I’m here,” she says impatiently

“I don’t think I wanna know the answer to that,” Will says softly and Em’s heart falls to her stomach.

“Will-“

“I shouldn’t have said yes to the date. At least not until we’ve talked. I was just too excited to see you and I wasn’t really thinking,” Will says quickly, taking a seat on her bed while she stands in the middle of the room.

“Okay.” Em replies, not sure what else to say, trying to hide her hurt and panic although she’s sure Will can see right through her.

“Why’d you come to Sweden?” Will asks and Em connects her hands behind her back, hoping to hide her nerves surrounding this conversation.

“For you. I talked to my dad. He knew about us. And you knew he knew,” she says softly

“Yeah we’ve met a few times, told him the very first time he came to Boston. Well I didn’t really have to tell him, he already knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me. Things would’ve been so different if I had know-“

“No they wouldn’t have. Because you weren’t the one making that decision to be with me publically. The decision was already made for you. If your dad hadn’t already known, and I didn’t break up with you, you wouldn’t have told him and we’d still be sneaking around.” Will says with a non-negotiable tone. Not that em could really argue with that. He was right.

“You’re right. If you didn’t break up with me I wouldn’t have told him, not any time soon. We would still be keeping us a secret, and that wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”

“You really hurt my feelings,” Will says softly and Em stops herself from walking closer and touching him. This was a hard conversation they needed to have. And they both had to have a clear mind for it.

“I know. And I’m sorry Will. Please believe me when I say it was never my intention to hurt you, and me keeping this relationship a secret also had nothing to do with you. It was all me and my issues and insecurities and past. You’re…you’re everything I want. You’re perfect for me and it kills me that I messed it up before I even really had the chance to experience it.” Em says and crouches down in front of Will, taking his hands into hers.

“If I was a better person I would tell you that I don’t deserve you, that there’s some other girl that will treat you better, and there probably is, but I’m selfish and I want you all to myself. I know I messed up, and I’m sorry. But I promise I’ll do better this time. I’m gonna make mistakes Will, but I promise I’m gonna love you enough so it’ll be worth it.” she finishes and there’s a moment where she feels a flash of embarrassment. That she just laid her heart out like that. That she’s on her knees begging her ex to take her back. But she clings to that little part inside her heart telling her it’s Will and the moment of embarrassment and vulnerability is worth it.

“I wanna believe you. I do. I just-“

“I know. I get it. I heard you. Actions speak louder than words and I’m trying. I’m not asking for all of your love and your trust all at once. All I’m asking is a chance to earn it back.”

“You did fly to Sweden for me,” Will concedes with a little smile

“I did”

“You also wore my jersey,” he says, running his hand over the back of her neck.

“I did. I should’ve been wearing it all along. It looks a lot better than the other ones, don’t you think?”

“I do,” he answers, resting his forehead on top of hers and all he wants to do is kiss her, but he can’t, not yet. So he pulls away. He stands and pulls her up with him, gently pulling her in and squeezing her tight. He lets himself hold her for just a moment, enjoying the feeling again.

“I have to go before they notice I’m gone,” Will whispers, kissing her head and grabbing his blazer.

“Hey Em?” He says just as he’s about to walk out the door.

“Yeah,”

“I scored tonight, know what that means?” He asks unable to stop the smile booming on his face.

“What?”

“You owe me a date Princess,”

#❥ — ꒰ emerson + will ꒱

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hockybish · 5 months

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She's Done With Him

l hughes!sister au l lola hughes l masterlist l

Jack had been making more of a conscious effort to be better to Lola. He still hadn't said sorry for the years of teasing, he wouldn't even know where to begin.

But he was willing to put everything on the line with their relationship when he got a phone call from Mason about this guy named Robbie who Lola was seeing. He couldn't help it, the older protective brother came out when he heard that the douche bag was cheating on her.

"Now you're positive it was Robbie who you saw?" Jack confirmed with the Ducks' player over the phone. It was late in New Jersey and he was tired after a hard fought game.

"Yes, Jack. Even ask Z he was there too."

That was enough for him. Trying to keep his anger in check, he took the number from Mason, promising he would take care of the problem. He wasn't going to do much, maybe just give the kid a little call, and talk.

"Hi Robbie, this is Jack." He paused for a second, waiting for the man on the other end to acknowledge him, but he could heat the hesitancy when Robbie didn't answer "Hughes, Lola's older brother?"

"Oh, you're the one who hates her right?" Jack could feel him smirking through the phone, irking him even more.

"I don't hate her, you know what I don't have to explain myself to you. I know what you've been doing. The girls and the drinking? Especially when she was injured in December."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't done anything wrong. I really like her." Robbie stuttered, a lame attempt at covering his tracks.

"Hm, yeah okay. Tell me was she just one of your side pieces?" Jack asked not believing a thing he was being told by this so called boyfriend. "That's what I thought."

"I didn't, I'm not"

"Break up with her"

"What"

"I said break up with her, or else"

"Or else what? There's nothing you can do to scare me"

"Robbie, there are at least four hockey teams plus countless others who will not hesitate to end you when they hear what you're doing. So break up with her or I'll let them know what you did" Jack threatened.

"You're bluffing"

"Try me. These guys can get really scary. And I'd hate for anything to happen to you."

A few days later Robbie did what Jack told him to do, he broke up with Lola. He didn't tell her why he was or that her brother was practically forcing him to. If he wanted to twist the knife even further, he could have said something. But she was already heartbroken and secretly Robbie was still a little worried Jack was going to send a goon after him.

Lola cried for a couple of days, this wasn't like when she had broken up with Matty, that was more of a mutual decision since they were going in opposite directions and they were better as friends. This break up took her by surprise, she thought they were in a good place, but apparently they weren't.

It hurt and she honestly kind of wanted Buggy her old stuffy from when she was younger. She really considered calling Jack and seeing if he still had it, but she thought better, knowing he probably would have made some snide remark about it, even though lately they had been doing better.

Lola called for an emergency sibling night with Quinn, which helped a lot, but she still swiped the bottle of tequila hidden away and found her way into her previous roommates bed.

After a week of moping around, she picked herself, brushed off the dirt and got back to her life. She worked harder in practice and even spent more time with her friends. Things were really looking up until late in the evening on February 29th.

The Ducks' had gotten in late that evening after playing in San Jose. Lola needed to make a quick run into the store to get something for Ellen that she had forget all the way back in Michigan.

Lola was only going to be a few minutes, but she spotted the one person she never really wanted to see again. She tried to ignore him the best she could, it was Robbie who walked up to her and was the one to start talking. They made pleasant small talk, but she had a nagging question she wanted to ask.

"Can I ask you something real quick? Why did you break up with me?"

"Oh Jack didn't tell you?" Robbie raised his eyebrows in feign shock. "Jack forced me to break up. He threatened that if I didn't, I was gonna get beat up."

Of course Jack had a hand it. Lola should have expected that. Jack ruins everything.

The ride back home was a little quieter. She had some things to think about before she saw her brother later that day.

After the game the Hughes clan were planning on getting dinner at a nice restaurant before Luke and Jack jetted off to the next destination. Lola was going to give them a ride. As soon as she saw Luke she gave him a hug and glared at the other one before making her move.

"What the fuck?" Jack's face stung as Lola's palm hit him on the cheek.

"You told him to break up with me? I how could you? I was happy. Why couldn't you let me be happy for once? You always mess everything up!"

"Clem you can be mad at me all you want, I was just trying to protect you."

"Don't you dare call me that. You don't have that right anymore. because I hate you. I hate you Jack." She spat in his direction.

After what seemed like years of her older brother hating her for apparent reason Lola had had enough of it and was completely done with Jack. Wanting nothing more to do with her older brother, this is when she decided to cut him out of her life, even if it meant she was going to have to cut Quinn and Luke out too.

"You don't mean that. Clem -" Jack knew he had taken it too far this time, but all he had been trying to do was protect his sister. And sometimes that made him the bad guy.

Lola gave him a look that ultimately broke his heart because he knew she meant it. She truly hated him, but he would rather her hate him, than see her with a broken heart over a guy who couldn't keep it in his pants.

"Lola. I'm sorry. Please take it back." Jack pleaded. He looked back at Luke and Quinn for help, but he was on his own with this.

"No, Jack. I mean it this time."

"Lola." She slapped him again and was getting ready to do it again. She wasn't one to hit or attack anyone, but tonight she couldn't help herself with her anger.

"Jack. I think you need to leave." Trevor pushed Lola behind him towards Jamie and Mason, putting himself in between the two siblings. Similarly Luke tried to grab ahold of jack's arm and pull him away.

The drive from the Honda Center to their shared home wasn't long, but playing a big game and the emotions from her argument took its toll and Lola fell asleep on the ride home. Mason didn't want to wake her, he opted to carry her in instead placing her in her bed and throwing her favorite blankets on top.

"Stay." Lola reached out, grabbing onto Mason's wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "I don't want to be alone. Please Mason?"

The older boy obliged, he sighed crawling into the bed next to her. Lola flipped around to face him, she reached out for his face and ran her thumb across his face as they fell asleep.

#lola hughes #hughes!sister au #jack hughes #mason mctavish

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purelyfiction · 3 months

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Barely Even Over. - Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x F!Reader

Word Count: I don’t know, I’ll update this when I’m off mobile

Summary: You’ve never been good with complacency. You’ve nearly broken it off four times with Bradley before, feeling trapped and needing to run. You don’t know why it happens, or why you feel so compelled to escape. This time, you can’t get past it. What had always been passing conversation has been a full production. You’re nearly to the curtain close when the entire thing is derailed by a very agitated pilot on your front porch.

Content Warning: lots of cursing, lots of angst, potential trigger for anxiety

Author’s Note: I’ve been obsessed with this song by Drake Milligan and I couldn’t get this out of my brain. Also!! Rooster content? In 2024? Wow. - unedited, unbeta’ed we die like idiots.

God, you couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here. The fact that it was almost eleven o’clock at night and someone was pounding at your door was one of the countless reasons you’d put in a transfer request.

The main reason you were leaving stood on the other side of your open door.

Bradley stands, dripping wet from the monsoon that’s raging outside (you’d heard it from the wind and the pelting rain on your window), the most vicious look on his face. You spot the equally soggy piece of paper you’d shoved in his mailbox this morning in his hand.

“You really thought you could just drop this off and bolt out of town without a word?” He shakes the wet mangled letter around, a drop of water flinging to the tip of your nose. When he starts into it, you’re pushing the door shut, regretting not checking the peephole before you tugged the door open. Rooster’s hand grabs the edge of the wood before you can get too far, pushing his body weight into it to keep it ajar.

“Or that I had to hear from Hangman of all people that he saw a moving truck taking your shit?” You turn and enter into the empty apartment, trying to avoid this conversation. That was the point of the letter, the point of no contact the last few hours. You were about five hours from departing San Jose and never coming back. Bradley slams the door shut as he follows you inside.

“Jesus, wake all the neighbors while you’re at it Bradshaw.” You groan, stepping into your bathroom to do a mindless check that everything had been packed. That you weren’t forgetting anything.

“Fuck the neighbors, Gemstone! You were going to just fucking ghost me? Ditch me without a goddamn word?” You can hear the pain singe his voice. A normally smooth and entertained gruff is resentful and burned instead when he speaks to you. He follows you as you move to the kitchen to do one last once over, averting this onslaught as much as you could. “Drop a shitty letter in my mailbox to dump my ass, ignore my texts, decline my calls - not a single word from you! What the fuck??”

“I’m being restationed, Rooster, it’s not-“

“Oh bullshit!! Mav told me the truth! You fucking requested the transfer! You thought you could sneak away without witnessing the storm you’re fucking making! Just dropping all your ties and escaping -“ he huffs and the paper in his hand is crumbled into a wet lump, then slammed at a nearby wall. So much for your security deposit. “You are always looking for an out. For a reason to leave California- the navy- me. As if the last three years were so fuckin’ miserable that you needed to just vanish. Like nothing ever happened.” Bradley is seething with each curse and vent that exists his lungs.

You’ve run out of cabinets to check. Out of options to avoid looking at him. So when you finally do, you see the mustached man shaking slightly from the temperature of the cold water clinging to him via a damp Hawaiian shirt. The way his eyes locked to you with seething hurt, a brokenness you couldn’t comprehend.

He wasn’t supposed to get home from his training in Atlanta until tomorrow. You were supposed to disappear. Jake and his big fucking mouth. Before you can say anything, Bradley turns to face you fully, brows pushing downward as if it would expel the anger out.

“Three years. Fucking three years and you think you can step out like this. Without a word, without giving a rhyme or a reason - leaving in the middle of the night - without a clue you were even considering this?? Buying fucking plane tickets behind my back?? Packing your entire god damn life up without a notion of the feelings of people around you - of your fucking boyfriend? You didn’t think to have the decency to break up with me to my face??” His hand points to the slop against the wall that had been your letter. His notice of termination so to speak. “The fact you couldn’t say it out loud- couldn’t face any of this at the face value means you don’t actually want to do it. You don’t want to do it, you’re just scared. You’re scared of the same surroundings, the same job, the same city, the same house, the same person, Gem. That’s what you are. Always leaving so you don’t get hurt when you get freaked out.” The register of his words is loud, but not nearly as loud as the next round of spitfire.

“If we’re gonna break up you’re gonna do it now! You’re gonna say what you put on that god damn piece of paper to my fucking face! That you never loved me, that you’ve been hanging on to a lie! That you can’t stand to stay in this god forsaken city a single second more! You don’t get to just leave and not see this!!” He points to his expression. “The mad! The angry, the rejection and betrayal! If you’re gonna do it you’re gonna do it to my face!” Finally, finally, Bradley takes a shaking breath, turning away to try to collect himself.

“Bradley, I didn’t want to do this like this for a reason-“ he spins. There are tears rolling down his face.

“Fuck, I love you.” The stinging sensation starts. The familiarly ominous feeling that sinks in and starts to eat at you every time you’ve had this conversation. “You loved me. I know you did. At some point you did, I know you did and you can’t lie to me and say you didn’t.” The hot tears are barely breaking surface tension along your lash line. “Don’t leave me like this, Gems. Don’t- cause I won’t-“ he hovers in his words, “I think I deserve at least a bad goodbye. Not some letter full of lies hit you don’t mean. Some pathetic attempt at closure is better than whatever the fuck this is. This, this, sorry excuse for a break up.” His feet come sinking toward you as he reaches out. You don’t back away.

His hand takes your hand, squeezing it tightly, his other hand coming to wipe your own tears in the hollow room. “I can take hellfire. I can take screaming, shouting, shit, you can hate me if you have to, honey.” It’s so fractured, his voice. Strained from shouting, tainted with emotions he clearly hasn’t come to understand yet, “just… don’t leave me like this. Still so in love with you. Still wanting to see your face when I wake up every day, to curl into you and avoid the world a little longer- still wanting to fix that damn car with you,” you stifle a laugh, despite the gravity of everything, “still completely and utterly adoring you. Don’t leave me loving you. Please, Gems, don’t.”

The two of you grow quiet, Rooster’s hand still clutching to yours, his hand cupping the back of your neck. He pulls you in, lips pressing to your forehead. He stays there as a soft cry that moves through his chest, tears dampening your hair as the two of you stand there in the cruelty of your wake.

#rooster x f!reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #rooster bradshaw x reader #top gun maverick #top gun #top gun fanfiction #top gun fic #top gun maverick fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley x reader smut #rooster bradshaw x f!reader #rooster x reader smut #rooster x you #bradley rooster x reader #Spotify

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toasttt11 · 2 months

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yours

March 24, 2024

Maddox and Trevor had got in very late last night having a flight after the game in San Jose, the two have been getting closer again the last week after their conversation after the bar but they hadn’t had anytime to have a talk about their relationship yet or time to do something more for their relationship.

Maddox blinked slightly looking down seeing Trevor laying against his side, Maddox let out a comfortable hum and brushed his fingers through Trevor’s hair. Maddox bit back a groan hating to get up but wanted to do this for Trevor.

Maddox slowly slipped out of the bed and slipped a pillow between Trevor’s arms and quietly walked out of the bedroom shutting the door behind him, he walked to the front door and opened it picking up the bags of groceries he order off the front door mat and brought them all into the kitchen.

He started making breakfast, french toast, scrambled eggs, hash browns and bacon, he didn’t know how he managed to cook everything without waking up Trevor.

He got himself a cup of coffee and set it onto the tray with all the food and a glass of orange juice for Trevor.

Maddox picked the tray up and walked done the hallway and into his bedroom, he saw Trevor’s eyes slowly fluttering open.

Maddox sat on his side of the bed setting the tray in front of him, he brushed Trevor’s hair off his forehead making Trevor hum and lean into his touch, “Morning.” Maddox mumbled.

“Hi.” Trevor smiled and scored forward resting his head on Maddox’s thigh looking curiously at all the food, “What’s this?”

“For you.” Maddox nervously responded seeing Trevor smiling happily as he looked at the food, Trevor looked up at Maddox noticing him fiddling with his fingers nervously.

Trevor gently put his hand over Maddox’s hand giving Maddox an encouraging and comforting look having a feeling Maddox is trying to say something.

Maddox took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, that i pushed you away and the way i’ve acted the last few years, you didn’t deserve that Trevor.” Maddox took a shuttering breath. Trevor leaned up still holding onto Maddox’s hands.

“I’ve loved you for years now Trevor Zegras, ever since Jack brought home his new teammate that was so loud and had the fluffiest hair, i hated for a long time that i couldn’t help but love you and i tried for years to get over you and it never worked. I realized that i never truly wanted to be over you, i want to be with you however you will have me and i’m going to be making up the way i’ve treated you for the rest of our lives and i know i don’t deserve to ask for your love but i would very much like to be yours if you would have me.” Maddox chocked out the words he has kept hidden for years feeling his face covered in tears.

Trevor let out a watery laugh as tears were falling down his cheeks, “Maddox i’ve already forgiven you. But yes i would love to be yours and for you to be mine.” Trevor smiled widely resting his head on Maddox forehead getting his dream to finally come true.

Maddox let out a breath and slowly leaned closer letting the two’s lip brush, Trevor smiled even wider seeing Maddox not pulling away this time and he pressed their lips in a desperate manner, both letting out sighs as they finally shared their first kiss with each other.

Maddox smiled widely as they pulled back, happy that he didn’t mess everything up again. He pressed multiple kisses on ever inch of Trevor’s face making Trevor’s body shake with giggles as Maddox continued to press a kiss everywhere.

Maddox pressed one more soft kiss to the top of Trevor’s nose and rested his forehead against Trevor’s, “Thank you baby.” Maddox lovingly muttered to Trevor, thanking him for forgiving him and thanking him for giving him another chance.

Trevor flushed bright red at the pet name but still smiled pleased, “Of course. Now can i eat the food?” Trevor stomach rumbled as he spoke making Maddox let out a fond laugh but pushed the tray closer to them.

Maddox leaned againt the headboard as Trevor leaned against Maddox’s chest and Maddox wrapped an arm around Trevor’s shoulder and he pressed soft kisses to the top of Trevor’s head as Trevor cut up the french toast and started eating, Trevor made a happy sound as he tasted the food always loving anything Maddox makes.

“I could die happy.” Trevor moaned as he kept eating the food Maddox made him, Maddox smiled softly pressing a kiss to the side of Trevor’s neck and smiled when Trevor held the fork up for him.

“Not bad.” Maddox hummed as he chewed on the french toast.

Trevor gave Maddox a playful offended look, “Not bad! Theo it’s amazing!” Trevor grumbled and ate more of the food.

Maddox just shook his head fondly and picked up his coffee cup enjoying the comfortable silence as Trevor happily ate all the food still offering a few bites to Maddox.

Trevor moved the tray to the side of the bed after he finished eating and he rested his head back onto Maddox’s bare chest tracing shapes onto Maddox’s arm.

Trevor let out a breath loving being in Maddox’s arm and knowing Maddox loves him too, Trevor’s eyes widen dramatically and he sat up quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Maddox asked in concern leaning up with Trevor.

“I’m so sorry!” Trevor frowned sadly, “I love you too Maddox Hughes.” Trevor smiled at Maddox feeling terrible he never said it back.

“Oh.” Maddox mumbled bashful feeling his face heat up.

Trevor raised an eyebrow smirking, “Are you blushing baby?” Trevor leaned forward gently holding Maddox’s chin lifting his head up and making eye contact.

“Shut up.” Maddox grumbled trying to avoid eye contact with his boyfriend.

“Never.” Trevor promised pressing a long kiss to his blushing cheek.

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hoodharlow · 11 months

Text

The Bae Area (insta AU)

AN: I got a few asks asking me more about this concept so I decided to revive the chapter I scrapped but while y'all wait here's an Insta AU. Cal petting gif by @uservalentine for my El Novio girlies, our faves make a cameo lol

Requested? A few anons

Warnings: Claudia haters and nosy fans

Word Count: n/a

•••

@'mdmupdates: Miriam at Jack's show in LA via Instagram Stories

•••

@'5sosupdates_: Calum and his gf seemingly are in San Diego. The 2nd video isn't cooperating but in the video Miriam Dominguez, Calum and Calum's gf were at Jack Harlow's concert in San Diego

@'miriamstan: my girls <3 also not Miriam with a fake septum piercing. I just know she's mad it's not gold like her necklace lol

@'claudiahater: can C-word not post Cal like we get it, he's your boyfriend 🙄

@'claudiaytfan: crazy how a few years back Claudia interviewed Jack for her college's radio station and now she's at his concert

@'5sosstanthatlikesclaudia: everyone thank Claudia for the Cal update 🥰

@'jackstan: this is so random

-> @'5sosstan: not really, Miriam and Claudia are besties and Miriam is friends with Jack. Someone literally commented above that Claudia interviewed Jack for a college thing. The video is probably on YouTube since Claudia uploaded several to her channel

View all 839 comments

•••

@'mdm: just me and this specific shade of green against the world <3

Also can't wait to show y'all a little something that I did with @'complex and @'jpl at my favorite place in the country aka @'SneakerStoreinOakland

@'jackharlow: you're welcome for the NB hook up

-> @'mdm: tyyy amiguis <3

-> @'mackshipper: miriam please get him out of the friend zone 😭

@'haileybieber: the best color on the best girl

@'shawnmendes: 😍

->@'shawnfan: *ariana what are you doing here*

-> @'mdmfan: wasn't he at Jack's show in LA 👀

-> @'shabrinaship: he was there with Sabrina Carpenter

@'miriamstan: Miriam finally did a sneaker shopping video

@'complex: our new record holder

-> @'mdmxjh: I don't even wanna know how much she spent 😭

-> @'sneakerhead: you mean how much her daddy spent, she doesn't do shit. She's just some rich girl that's appropriating sneaker culture

-> @'miriamfan: based on your profile you're just some white man that buys and resells shoes. If anyone is appropriating sneaker culture it's you, you ugly loser

View all 19,942 comments

•••

@'jackharlowsource: Jack via Instagram Stories

@'jackstan: who did he crop 😳🤔👀

@'jackfan: that def looks like Miriam’s hand and she was at his Oakland show

-> @'jhstan: she was also at the San Jose with her grandma

-> @'jackfan: I bet they're fucking. There's now way you go to 4 shows back-to-back just bc

-> @'miriamstan: y'all chill, she has a boyfriend. The other day she tweeted about how her man hit it and left her feeling nostalgic lmao

View all 359 comments

@'mdm: the bae area 🤍🤎🖤

@'saintclauds: the prettiest 🤍

@'jackharlow: not you cropping my girl

-> @'mdm: you know damn well she couldn't sit still. Also don't act like you're not above cropping

-> @'mdmxjh: *druski voice* what do you mean by that 👀

@'zendaya: 😍

@'lilnasx: the 3rd pic, okay tiddies

@'shawnmendes: ♥️

->@'mackshipper: como dice Demi Lovato 'GET A JOB, STAY AWAY FROM HER'

->@'2018shawn: omg I've been manifesting this since he broke up with canola oil 😫

-> @'mirawnship: I noticed he's been interacting more and more on her posts. He fits the guy in the middle picture 👀👀👀 plus we all know they stopped fucking around when he started to get close to the racist for the PR bullshit. Maybe they're a thing again

View all 21,394 comments

•••

@'jackharlow: More inspired than I've ever been...never had a better pen...never felt truly understood until now...I knew I was a star but I finally got the evidence...I'm the truth and I think it's finally setting in...I think they finally acceptin in

@'mdm: superstar ❣

->@'mdmxjh: no bc she used the same emoji to credit her bf on her post and Jack commented on it

->@'jackharlowfan: it's not that deep plus I'm pretty sure Shawn is her bf

@'urbanwyatt: they're not ready

@playthehomies: ⛲⛲⛲

@'claybornharlow: this one is gonna be a game changer

@'lilnasx: 🥵

@'jackstan: anyone see the video of Miriam and Jack leaving together 👀

-> @'jackgossipacc: it was her? All the videos I've seen were blurry so I couldn't make up the girl's face

View all 42127 comments

Taglist: @heavyhitterheaux @cherry4everrr @carma-fanficaddict @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo @babyharleezy @that-90s-girllll @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @whywontyoulovemecami @camificrecs

#jack and miriam #jack harlow #jack harlow smut #jack harlow smau #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow insta au

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hugheses · 6 months

Text

The Rise of the Hughes Brothers with Jim Hughes - Nov 3, 2023

transcript below cut ↴

Jeff Marek: Not exactly a secret that, right now the Hughes family, all three of them dominating the National Hockey League. Whether it's Jack with 20 points, whether it's Quinn leading all defenders or whether it's Luke trailing Logan Cooley by a single point in rookie scoring, this is the Hugheses’ NHL. We're just skating in it. Father Jim Hughes is a hockey director of player development for CAA, he joins me now. Jim, how are you today? Thanks so much for hopping aboard.

Jim Hughes: Hi Jeff, how are you today?

Jeff Marek: I'm doing very well. Let me jump in with last night. I'm gonna ask you a few things historically about the kids and growing up and the family and how in the family full of defenders you ended up with, you know, one of the elite forwards in the game. But I want to rewind to yesterday. So, you know, watching Vancouver just take apart the San Jose Sharks, I mean, it's a blowout. It's a, it's a tilted ring, 10 to 2 is the final and I'm seeing Quinn, we all are and he's just piling on points here. And after two periods, I think we're all, you know, rushing to our media guide to try to figure out, OK, what's the most amount of points a defenseman's ever had in a single game. And it's Paul Coffey and Tom Bladen with eight. And I'm thinking to myself, Quinn's got a shot. Here, like Quinn's got a real shot here. And then third period rolls around and you know Carson Soucy’s on the power play and things are sort of Tocchet’s calming everything down. Was there a part of Jim Hughes that said, ‘I want to see if my kid can set a record here?’

Jim Hughes: No, and the reason why we we know we know David Quinn and Wiseman and and and and Gordon, they're they're all on the other bench and I think I think the Vancouver staff know that really well in terms of you know they could have been maybe even goalie interference on Demko at at the end but. Everybody wants that thing to just get going and get out of there and and you know, it was it wasn't an easy night for San Jose, so. I I think it was done, you know in the right way with the right manner and and and I think yeah, I mean I I think it was it was time to put some other people on the ice and give some other people opportunities.

Jeff Marek: Interesting, that is... Listen, you're very much a hockey guy and I understand where that comes from. On my perch here. I just love watching records get broken. And right now, you know, your sons are playing on a different level. And man, New Jersey is must watch television. Vancouver is must watch television and a lot of it is because of your boys. Like when you watch them right now, like what? You know take us behind a father's eyes here. What do you see when you watch all your three kids playing in the NHL right now?

Jim Hughes: Well, listen, it's a it's a, it's a very difficult league. It's a humbling league. It's a really hard league. It's a man's league and... You kind of just keep your feet in the ground and you just go one day at a time. Yeah, they're having success because, you know, the general managers, the coaches, they've done a good job building this team and putting good teams together and adding pieces so. So the journey, you know, Jack's been at this five years now and so they're building it and it's really starting to turn the corner and you know, I feel the same way about Vancouver and Quinn’s situation, but you you're bringing these additional pieces such as Hronek, who's doing a wonderful job with Quinn. A guy like Toffoli that's playing with Jack, who's just a hockey, you know, you know, he's a hockey, hockey, hockey guy, and that's probably why Jack loves him so much because they have so much in common. But Toffoli's got so many… intricacies and he does so many things well as a hockey player, he's a hockey junkie, so. You know they've added really nice pieces and you know, just sit back and you know Ellen and I, we just, we were in the living room last night, we actually had three TV's going. We watched the U17s from Prince Edward Island at 6 o'clock and then we watched Fantilli and Kent Johnson in Columbus, and then we turned on the Vancouver game, and I think we had the Ottawa game on the other TV. So it was like we, it was a busy night here, but we, we sit here and we watch and we're, we're enjoying you know how the kids are playing and. Yeah, they, they work hard in the summers. We have a fantastic group here of about 12 to 15 players. And they get after it three times a week. And we're big proponents of, you know, when you're 20, you got to, you got to make yourself better. When you're 21/22/23, you got to keep improving. You got to keep working on your skill sets and you gotta keep climbing the mountain. You got to keep getting better. So we have this group in the summer with Dylan Larkin and Werenski and Debrincat and Kyle Connor, Beniers, and Copp, and Sanderson. Luke, Jack, Quinn. I mean, so they get going and and really they challenge each other all summer and they just keep getting better. And now that's what you're kind of seeing in, I guess you're seeing in the... In the early part of the season.

Jeff Marek: With Jim Hughes, you know, one of the things, you know, Elliot and I, every year at the NHL Players Media tour. Uh, it's always fun catching up with Jack and one of the things that he always talks about, we always ask him too, you know, how? How were the family competitions in the offseason? How was, you know, the summer golf and summer tennis and whatever games the kids are playing against each other. And I can't help but think. And you can... Can shine the spotlight on this it seems. As if this is a family where all the kids have grown up, not just competing against other kids, other teams, but competing against one another like it, it seems as if you know competition has been at the forefront of their minds. You know, since they were, you know, able to play hockey, golf, tennis, whatever it is. Have they always been like this amongst each other? Like ultra competitive?

Jim Hughes: Always, and even when the kids were living in Mississauga. On a Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, when all the hockey was done, there would be six of them down in the basement. Maybe playing, you know, basement hockey and everybody, everything has a winner and a loser, unfortunately. So if they're out playing tennis or they're playing golf or they're playing pool. There's a judgment. There's a judgment going on. And so I don't, I don't think they're trying to outdo each other but it's... It's a competitive environment and no different than the Tkachuk family or you know, we can go on and on and on, but yeah, they get after it, there's no doubt, right? You know, if it's, if it's golf, they get after it and if it's, if it's tennis, they get after it, and so they probably bring out the best in each other.

Jeff Marek: You know it. It's so fascinating too. And listen, Henry Staal was, you know, was asked, you know, similar questions about his boys as well, you know, is there one sort of common thread that's running through all the kids here? I mean, you've got three kids in the NHL, like getting one to the NHL is remarkable enough. You've got three in the National Hockey League. Like, what's the, we always talk about, you know differences between people. I'm curious what the similarities are between these three kids, that allows them to be top of their field, top of their position in the NHL.

Jim Hughes: It's a very good question. Obviously people see the skating. And we used to drive the Zamboni guys crazy because we'd have six nets on the ice and people said, “We only have two goalies, why do you have all these nets?” But it was all it was, all skating mechanisms. It was all going around nets and and it's a tight turn with explosion and a burst and coming out of the turn faster than you go into it. But I would think that the biggest common threat between the three of them is their work ethic. And I always say that to the young kids and the kids we work with. Is that the work ethic propels and makes everything better. If you have a great work ethic, your skating will get better, your shot will get better, your passing will get better. Your physical training and the gyms will get, everything can get better. If you have a high workload. And so I would say, you know that would be the common thread because you've just got to keep getting better in all areas of your game, and if you got the work ethic ingrained in you then you know, there is a very good chance that you can become the best version of yourself.

Jeff Marek: You played, Ellen played. Jim, I'm curious. You know what that you know, you know, when you, when you snatched the pebble from the master's hand, then you can leave the temple of moment was. Like do you remember the moment where the kids got better than you and what was that like for Jim Hughes?

Jim Hughes: Um, well, we've never played in the league, so [laughs] it's really easy. It's really easy. We just we support, we're we're we're, we're resources and we're- we support and listen with any of these kids in the league that get there, there's a small village of people, it's coaches and strength coaches and NTDP coaches and youth. Approaches and there's a lot of people that are involved with the process as we call it resources and so. You know we try to make friendly suggestions like we there's ups and downs and there's roadblocks and there's highs and lows and. Sometimes we try to bring the temperature down like. You know they're competitive people and Jack will say something and I'll say, you know, Lindy wants what you want. You want what Lindy wants. You want the same thing. Like relax, it's gonna be OK like. You know, like, you know. And so it's their competitive environment, it's their competitiveness. But sometimes you know, not throwing gasoline on the fire is a good idea. And that would be my suggestion to a lot of parents out there that are listening and and we're all guilty of it. And I've been, I've been guilty of it too. But if you can learn how to really message with your child, your kids and bring the temperature down and have common sense conversations and talks. I think it's, I think it'll go further and it's more helpful.

Jeff Marek: You know it's so fascinating when you look at your three boys, there's I think an assumption that everybody makes, which is well, you know what their development has been a straight line. They've always been great. They've always been marvelous skaters. They've always dominated. They make it look easy. It must have come easy to them. I know you talk a lot to hockey parents. Can you share with us some of the setbacks? Because you mentioned like development, you know this, Jim better than a lot of people. Development is not a straight line, it's a bunny hop. It's you know. Two steps forward, two steps back, one forward, three back, four forward, one... You know what it's like, can you share how many setbacks the kids had along the way and how they work through?

Jim Hughes: There's constant setbacks and you can- you can sabotage yourself if you're not careful. Because the world of youth hockey, and youth sports in general is, it's not an easy climb and so you've got to be persistent and hard working. But. It's it's a, it's a. It's a challenge in so many ways of getting there and quite frankly. At an early age, I think we- a lot of people can attest that Jack was a little bit different than a lot of the other kids up in Toronto. But for Quinn and Luke, you know for Ellen and I, all we wanted was hopefully they had an opportunity to go play college hockey in the US. Which both of them wound up going to play at Michigan. But, we were realistic and you know, we weren't. We didn’t have these grand plans of National Hockey League or anything like that. All we're trying to do is just move the kids along and hey, hopefully maybe they're good enough to play in college someday and then, you know, one thing led to another. But we didn't get, we certainly didn't get too far ahead of ourselves and, you know, the NTDP didn't didn't hurt either because it's a place that they value practices and strength conditioning. So it's, it's a good place to really propel, propel yourself if you know, and you see a Norris doing it, a Brady Tkachuk doing it, you see... You know, there's countless guys that have come out of the program that have taken those resources and used them along the way.

Jeff Marek: Between Vancouver and New Jersey, how are your frequent flyer points doing these days?

Jim Hughes: They're manageable because, you know, we went up for the first game in Vancouver and then we were on the first flight the next morning and we caught the- we went right to the arena in Newark and we caught their home opener. And then we- we caught two more in New Jersey and then it happened that Vancouver was in Philly. So we caught five games on the trip and then we come home and now we're just bunkered down and we got our televisions and we're comfortable just watching games on the television, and doing it that way too. And so I think it's important to stay out of their way a little bit. We- we visit here and there and then we get out of the way and let them do their thing.

Jeff Marek: It's got to be the biggest thrill. It's got to be great. Jim, listen. Thanks so much for parking time. I know you're very busy. Not just, you know, watching the kids, but working at CAA. Hockey director of player development. Thanks so much for parking some time with me today. Much appreciated. Congratulations on the early success for the family and all the best in the future. Thanks. So much for doing this.

Jim Hughes: Thanks, Jeff. Talk to you soon. Take care. Bye.

bonus bit from later on in the podcast that was relevant to my interests

Jeff Marek: Listen, I just had a conversation with Jim Hughes, father to the stars. What used to be Henry Staal is now Jim Hughes, and Hughes has the three boys and you know their, Jack Hughes is leading all scorers with 20 points. Quinn Hughes leads all defensemen in points and Luke Hughes trails Logan Cooley by only a single point, like right now, this is domination by the Hughes family. Can you sort of, you know, isolate these three and share what you think about these three players that are top of their field amongst their peer group?

Brian Lawton: Yeah, it's really incredible. We've been talking about it for, it really started quite a while ago, particularly in the US, NHL Network, American kids, you're going to really jump on that. I remember the first time we met Jack at NHL Network. He did an interview at the finals. And Jack was so confident that the guys completely hated him. They were like, “Oh, my God, this kid is so confident, you can't be that confident.” And as time has gone on, they've grown to love him because he doesn't do it in an evil or rude way. It's just who he is. He's a very confident hockey player. He went through hell in a handbasket to get really where he is. I mean, it wasn't easy when he came into the league. But he never stopped believing, he remained with that confidence and obviously now, I mean it's ridiculous what he's doing. So I give him a ton of credit. He's a great kid, he's fun loving. He's a character. His abilities... Everybody always knew he could skate, the first time I really ever saw Jack do anything special was at the prospects game. He got even against the player and blew by him. And it was so unnatural. I was like, that's not natural. Those two guys are equal. He's the weaker player. The defenseman is much stronger, but they're dead even. And he just turned on the jets and I just went, “Oh my goodness, this guy just has a hidden gear that he can call upon any time.” And I believe that that is still what's happening at the NHL level now. He's earned respect. Where if you go back and you watch his overtime winner against the New York Islanders, Ryan Pulock backs off him. Gives him time and space. He walks to the middle, shoots it in the net, end of game and he never looked like he wasn’t concerned about anything, and that's that confidence. But he's earned a little bit of room and now you give him an inch and he's taking a mile. So that's his greatness, plays the game with his head up way faster than you think. Not super strong. Seems abnormal he's doing as great as he is because of that. But he's no longer small. Or frail. And we saw that early on for him. He's over the hump. He's going to be a great player. He's proving it every single night and everybody seeing.

Quinn on the other hand is just magically gifted, also with the player that plays his head up. Jim did a great job with his kids teaching them that. But his skating is so incredible, his IQ. There was a play last night he made for Van where he's out at the blue line. He backs his body outside the blue line, extends the space in the offensive zone for himself to create a little time and space. And ends up just absolutely geeking the forward out that was covering him, where he's looking for his jockstrap as Quinn blows by him to the outside, comes in and takes the slapshot, ends up in the back of the net. The magic in that is the feet and also the ability to play with the head up and then, I'll say it again, another very confident hockey player. You're the last man back with the checker at on you at the blue line. If you turn it over, it's a breakaway and it's on you. Absolutely no fear, I feel like he could make that play 9 out of 10 times, if not 10 out of 10, that's special. Luke, on the other hand, we haven't got a good read on, watched him a lot at Michigan. I watched a guy, quite frankly, struggle defensively, particularly turning to one side. He really had an issue with that in college where guys were blowing by him. He appears to have really cleaned that up. Now his feet are taking root. He's really the biggest of the three brothers. His potential is untapped. I don't know why we'd expect him to come in and dominate more than Jack did his first couple years. Quinn was a little bit of a freak. He stayed a little bit longer at college. He was able to come in and really be effective if truths been known, Quinn could have left college a year earlier. He just couldn't really get the type of assurance as he wanted to, to leave Michigan. So he stayed another year, grew his game, walked in and was really dominant. Luke, on the other hand, I think it's just a matter of time. I don't know who will be the best of these kids, but you're right, this is hockey's version of royalty right now for a family that's just dominating in the league.

Jeff Marek: You know it's interesting, Lawts, because I mentioned to Jim, I'm watching the Vancouver game yesterday and after two periods, I'm looking at this and saying well, hang on a second, if Quinn gets, you know, three more points here in the 3rd and we've seen him pile up before and he's playing against San Jose. With all due respect, he's getting into that, Paul Coffey, Tom Blade and you know. Either tying or setting a new record for points in a game by a defenseman. And I asked Jim if, you know, he thought that, you know, if he wanted to go see, you know, wanted to see his son, you know, set a record last night, would Quinn have liked that? And he said absolutely not. And it's because it was a blowout and it's respect to David Quinn and no one likes being on the end of these blowouts, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, this is a guy that, I mean, that's a very hockey answer. I get it. I personally when you're, I think you I think when you're close to a record, you owe it to the game to try to try to break it like, you owe it to hockey. You know what I mean, Brian, like you owe it to hockey to try to break that record. And the other example that I cited last year was a December game between Buffalo and Columbus, when you know all of a sudden bam bam, bam, bam bam, you know we're halfway through the game and Tage Thompson has six points and we're all wondering about Darryl Sittler in 1976. And then, you know, his ice time diminished and held back and stopped shooting et cetera, but I always have felt that when a player gets close to a game record, regardless of what the score is or how the other team may be offended, I think that you owe it to hockey to try to break it, to give it a really good shot because these records have stood for a long time and when you get close, you should really go for it. Do you have a thought on that one, whether Quinn Hughes should have said, or Rick Tocchet for that matter, should have said my guy’s close to a record that's stood for a number of years, I'm going to give him a chance to break it, or you say hold on a second here. It's a 10-nothing blowout. Let's pump the brakes a little bit.

Brian Lawton: Well, from the coaches perspective, you're trying to create accountability in the room and that rises one individual above the rest of the group. And that's not inherently normal or accepted in hockey. Now, from a player's perspective, I can tell you that they're aware of these things. They'd like to do these things, but they're never going to come out and say that. I don't think Wayne Gretzky, you know, is really openly gonna say, “I went into game 39 knowing I needed five goals to get 50, so I did it. You know, I didn't really care if we won or lost.”

Jeff Marek: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brian Lawton: You know, so it. But make no mistake, having been a player, if there's something that you're aware of, of course you'd love to do it, but you're never going to hear that from players and quite frankly, hockey players. You know, I used to be a sports agent. We used to have all sports at Octagon, they still do. They had basketball players, football players, baseball players, a lot, I've got a lot of great athletes from other sports. But I'm biased, of course, but I didn't- I, one time. I won't say who it was I met, who was supposedly the nicest guy in another major sport. And went to a charity event that he had, was really excited to meet him and he would have been like the 700th nicest guy in the NHL. Like I was just blown away. He was not a super great, nice guy. So I've always had this thought. It's not true about all players. That was a bad sample size, but it's a very known player who's still playing to this day. He really had that line and don't try to guess because I don't want to get into that and embarrass him. But hockey players are just brought up differently. Things are, you know, now it's changing when I say, you know, people at NHL Network, or a few of the guys, I shouldn't say people, were not thrilled when meeting Jack. Jack's a great kid, youth. But what's different about him than other players at that age that maybe had that kind of success is they will tell you more what they think. Whereas in my era you were really, that wasn't happening. It was not happening, Jeff. And personally, I think it's a good thing. Jack Hughes is a great kid. The fact that he's going to tell you what he thinks and that's maybe different than what was 30 years ago does not make it wrong. As a matter of fact, I think it's better for hockey. I really do. So you gotta let these kids express themselves.

#much to ponder!#the brady and josh mention... ntdp polycules never die #the nhl network guys hating jack at first but then realizing hes nation's princess and bending the knee... yup!#jim hughes #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #transcript

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maxverstappensflatbrim · 6 months

Text

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [42]

chapter forty-two, act five: the ballad of me and my brain

masterlist

November 3rd 2017

Tommie had woken up alone in Phoebe’s apartment, with many missed calls and texts of people asking if she was okay.

Her brows had furrowed and she’d hesitated to call Adam back first. He’d called her eleven times, and although they haven’t spoken since that day he came to the apartment she still worries something is wrong.

Her mind goes to her grandparents, but she spoke to her nan yesterday. They were on their way to a trip to Tenby in the caravan with the dog, they’re fine. Unless something happened on the trip.

Nan can’t swim. Granch got sick. Or a heart attack, or an accident-

“Tom? Tom, thank god, are you still in LA-?”

It’s then she realises how late into the LA afternoon it is, her clock reads one o’clock and she realises she’d probably been up way longer than she should’ve been writing away until her heart's content (until she passed out from exhaustion).

“What’s going on?”

“Matty’s missing.”

This is the first time she’s heard his name in months, and her heart stops.

She sits up straighter, both Button and Max looking up at her in question. “What?”

“We tried to stage an intervention, shit-” She hears him sigh, can hear Ross and George arguing in the background with another voice that sounds a lot like Jamie, “He took off, a few days ago, he’s been doing it alot lately, he’s never been gone this long.”

“Where are you?”

“San Jose.”

She sighs and climbs out of bed, putting her phone on speaker and setting it on the bedside table. She grabs a pair of jeans from the chair she’d thrown them onto last night, getting a random t-shirt and throwing it on quickly, not even bothering with the effort of finding a bra. She does however, go to the effort of saying goodbye to the two dogs before shoving on her shoes, grabbing her bag that holds her essentials (keys, wallet, journal, lip balm, cigs, lighter and some other unnecessary shit.).

“I’ll come meet you, you in the place we stayed in last time?”

“No, we’re in the fancy one across the road you liked the look of.” She hears more arguing, and then a door slams, “It’s seven hours, Tommie, you- stay in LA, I just- has he tried calling you?”

“No, no he hasn’t. I haven’t talked to him since TRNSMT.”

Adam sighs, “He’s not himself, Tommie, I don’t know what’s going on with him. He’s in his own head, doing so many fucking drugs, Tom, I-” He sighs, she hears a sob-like sound get stuck in his throat, “We’re trying but he’s not listening, saying he needs to clear his head-”

Suddenly it dawns on Tommie and she pauses halfway down the steps outside of her building, “What has he said?” She asks quickly, fumbling to get the Uber app up as she walks down the street, “Tell me exactly what he said before he left, Ads.”

Adam sighs, stutters a few times as he tries to remember the conversation he had with Matty five days prior, “Um, something about the drugs helping him sleep, clearing his mind, helping him write and create, said that the drugs are his muse or some philosophical shit. I-I don’t know, Tommie.”

She watches her Uber pull up and puts the phone to ear, “Ads, I’ll call you back, don’t worry alright.”

“Tom, please don’t-”

“Don’t worry.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ

The studio is a mess, clothes thrown over floors, crumpled up pieces of paper, cans of beer, coke and all different kinds of things ruin her path to the booth.

There’s a drum beat on loop, it's so loud she can hear it through the headphones and it almost drowns sounds of snoring from the curly haired musician.

He’s half on the settee half off, wearing only a pair of boxers and a large hoodie of their own band.

Tommie pushes her way through the mess on the floor that her hands shake to clean, she satisfies the urge for her hands to move by moving her foot to kick at Matty's side.

When he doesn’t wake she hits him harder and he gasps, curling over on himself, “Ow.”

“Get up.”

His eyes snap open at the voice and he sits up, fumbling to pull the hoodie down to cover himself and she rolls her eyes, “What are you doing?”

“Making music.”

She looks around, “Looks like it.”

She walks over to the mixing board and pauses the drum beat playing then looks back at him, “What are you doing, Matty?”

“Why don’t you call me Roddy anymore?”

She sighs and clenches her jaw, “You’re not my Roddy,” She tells him quietly, “I don’t know where he went, but… he’s been gone a while. I miss him, If you see him- if you see him, will you let him know?”

Matty rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair, “What are you doing here?”

“The guys are worried, so worried that they actually mentioned your name to me, which, I’m gonna be honest, I haven't heard since Scotland.”

“Bet you loved that.”

“I did, actually.”

He scoffs, eyeing her up and down, she crosses her arms and leans back against the desk behind her.

“What are you doing here, Tommie?”

“I care about you, Ma-”

He scoffs again harsher this time and stands up, “Don’t make me laugh, you’re the one who walked out on us all, remember? Back in July, picked up your guitar and ran off to LA like it meant nothing.”

“I- what did you expect me to do, Matty?” She asks, keeping her voice on a lower level despite his shouting a few minutes prior. “Did you expect me to sit beside you and hold your hand as you killed yourself I-”

She shakes her head and looks away, “You left us. Not just me, you left-”

“Just because I left doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.”

He pauses, mouth open as he was preparing to shout something else. Tommie sighs, hands coming up to cover her face for a few seconds. Too many seconds, although he counts his head, he reaches twelve, he still thinks it's too long for her to hide away from him.

“I’ll always love you, Matt.” She promises, she avoids looking at him and he takes a few more steps forward to get closer to her, “I love you too much to sit by and watch you do this to yourself-”

“So you left me? Made it worse-”

“You won’t listen!” She moves her hands away from her face to shove his chest. He moves back to arms length then. Just watching her.

She shakes her head, finally raising her voice, “You won’t listen to any of us, to me, G, Ads, Ross, your own mother who’s gone through the same thing, we’re all worried about you.”

“I’m fine-”

“No you’re not.” She tells him, “Look at yourself,” Despite his better judgement he lets his eyes glace to his reflection in the dark tinted window behind her, “You’re a fucking mess, Matty, and quite frankly it’s fucking pathetic.”

He lifts his head, looking at her down his nose, “Half the time you can’t string a sentence together, you’re passing out on stage, lashing out at everyone, you’re a mess, Matthew.”

His jaw quivers as he tries to keep his composure, “You’re so- so god damn stubborn, and blind. Look around, Matt, you have so many people here trying to help you, trying to love you and you just won’t let them. Why, because you’re scared?”

“You don’t know anything about-”

“Quite the opposite, “She bites back, “I know you, Matty, I know everything about you. I know everything about my Matty.”

She steps to him this time, lifting one hand ready to hold him, “Are you scared, Matty?”

He looks to the small coffee table in the studio, one they'd spent many nights gathered around with pizza boxes listening to music and telling jokes. On the table sits a joint, beside it empty packets that she doesn’t even want to know are inside of it.

“I’m not-”

“Matt.”

‘You’re in love with her but you’re afraid a guy like you will ruin her. And you will.’

He nods quickly, letting the tears welling in his eyes linger a little longer, “I’m afraid, Tom.”

“Of what?”

He shakes his head, mumbling something under his breath; neither of them can understand, “Of what?”

She shakes her head and walks closer to him but he fights her off, not letting her touch him, “I-”

“Matt-”

She watches his eyes dart to the door as he licks his lips, “I’ve got a flight.”

“Matt-”

“Tomorrow, I need to pack all my stuff.”

“Matty, please, just slow-”

He nods to himself as he gathers the only thing he brought with him, a little tote bag, her little tote bag. One from the record shop she likes in London. He shoves inside his wallet, phone, charger and notebook then starts stumbling around until he finds his jeans and shoes.

“Matty, would you please-”

“I’ve got to go-”

“Matty,” She huffs, trying to follow him around but his longer legs are moving too fast, closing up his laptop, stopping the demo, throwing the stupid memory stick with the song he was working on into the mess around them, “Matt, please, just stop for a couple seconds- Let’s talk-”

“Nothing to talk about, I have to go, seven hours to San Jose-”

“Matt!”

He still doesn't listen so she pauses as he opens up the door, “I broke up with Caleb.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ

“Why’d you break up?”

Tommie watches him dip his fries into the red sauce and then shove them into his mouth as if he hasn't eaten for years.

She sighs and looks down at the table in the little diner they’re sitting at, she picks at the table cloth beneath them and leans back.

“Creative differences.”

He snorts and she finds her lips curling a little bit into a smile.

“Seriously?”

He shakes his head a little, “I always hated him, I mean, not just because of the whole you thing, but because he was a raging arsehole-twat-prick dude.”

She nods her head in thought, “I mean, he hated Deftones, you love Deftones, if I hated them- hell, if I uttered a single bad word about them you'd break my neck- literally! I can’t believe you didn’t break up with him over that. And one major thing you should’ve ran from was his love of country music, I mean, If I heard Jesus take the whe-”

“He got me pregnant.”

Matty pauses, fry mid air, mouth open ready to bite down on it, instead his gaze is settled right on her, missing the ketchup dripping down to stain the white table cloth on the table.

“What?” He looks down towards her stomach slowly and she shifts uncomfortably covering herself with her arms, “You’re pregnant?”

“I had an abortion, few weeks ago, that’s why I’m out here, Matt.”

“What did he-”

“He told me I had no right because it was his baby too, and threatened to tell the press.”

“Did he? I mean, I haven’t seen anything but-”

She shakes her head “I told him if he did that then I’d make sure his band never made it. Then I kicked him out of the apartment, cut my lease short and moved in with Phoebe.”

He hums in thought, picking at the table cloth.

“I was so scared, Matt. I’m terrified of the thought of having children, of ruining my career, my life, not because I’m not as strong as other women or anything like that, or I won’t be able to do that. Because I just don’t want that-”

She breaths in slowly and tilts her head at him, “I wanted my Matty. Phoebe told me I asked for you, when I was out of it. Said I asked her to go get you for me.”

He looks down, staring at the heart shaped hole he’s ripped into the dining table cloth. “I was terrified of doing it without you. What were you scared of?”

He scoffs and shakes his head, “Matty, please-”

“Did you tell me that just to try and get me to open up?”

“Trade you.” She shrugs and leans over to steal a chip.

He sighs, “When Gemma broke up with me she told me some harsh truths, one’s that I needed to hear and I don’t know. I guess I just know deep down that she’s right. I don’t want to ruin you.”

She tilts her head, reaching across the table to set her hand on his, “You won’t ruin me, Matty.”

“I will. Cause you’re you, you’re a good person, Tommie. I don’t want to ruin you.’

“Matt-“

He shakes his head and stands, “I have to go. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Matt-“

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ

She looks around the mess in the studio. Now that he’s gone, that he’s back on his way to the rest of the band she can let herself go nuts and clean it.

She starts by cleaning up the takeaway boxes from the floor, then she folds the blankets and cleans the messy table.

Half way through cleaning up she finds the discarded memory stick he’d tossed aside. There’s a post it note wrapped around being held there with cellotape.

‘Baby, two.’

She lifts up the memory stick and then slowly puts it into the computer.

There's a small sniffle and then a sighs as he strums a few chords. "Baby, two. Um..." He sighs again and shifts around, the leather chair creaks but is cut off as he clears his throat, "This is my deepest confession, I guess. This is for Tommie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot, that it took me so long to realise and that when I finally did I'd already pushed her out. But, I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to let her back in-" He sighs again, "Anyway, this is take one. Baby, I don't have a title yet."

I've been watching you walk I've been learning the way that you talk The back of your head is at the front of my mind Soon I'll crack it open just to see what's inside your mind … Inside your mind

Marry me, I will wait until you're fast asleep Dreaming things I have the right to see Lately you are dreaming you're in love with me The only option left, is look and see inside your mind

… Inside your mind I can show you the photographs Of you getting on with life I've had dreams where there's blood on you All of those dreams where you're my wife

Inside your mind Inside your mind Inside your mind Inside your mind

She raises her brow at the deep voice but sits there to take it for a few moments taking it in.

Every moment between her and Matty has ever shared floats through her head. From meeting to starting the band, to being on tour, to living together, to that night in LA, to watching him leave yesterday.

She thinks over every decision she’s ever made.

Being with Caleb, never telling Matty.

Maybe if she just told him, if she’d let him know how she really felt none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have turned to drugs, he’d be safe.

Or maybe he still would have. And they’d be unhappy. Together but unhappy. And they’d hate each other.

They must be good. She wonders. The drugs, there must be something about them. Why else would he love them so much? More than her, more than the band.

Before she can stop herself she’s sitting on the floor, eyes not moving from the baggie on the table as her fingers drum right beside it.

She just wants one look. One look inside Matty Healy’s mind.

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro, @beatr2x, @byyourside28

-let me know if you want to be added :)

#show me yours matty healy #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #the 1975 x oc

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bitchinbarzal · 1 year

Text

hold on | J.Hughes

summary; just when Jack wants to give in, you tell him to hold on just a little longer

warnings; suicide, talks of death, ambulances, hospitals and substance abuse.

I took a more soft approach than I intended

Read at your own discretion

Jack should feel so blessed.

He has a great family; his two brothers and parents doted on him from day one, he had his dream job that he’d worked on for years and his friends were the very best friends he could’ve ever asked for.

So why did he feel this way?

Why was he allowing a girl to break his heart and make him feel useless.

Jack Hughes. Useless.

Layla had told him over text that she had slept with her roommate while he was away on a road trip to California. Jake. Fucking Jake.

Jack knew he wasn’t gay, like Layla had told him so many times when he brought up their flirting.

Jack didn’t want to tell anyone what happened, not on the road. He didn’t want the pity stares and the second guessing of his game.

So he kept quiet throughout the roadie. His game tanked in San Jose, he heard the comments in the media;

fraud

fake

not good enough

There was a break in games when the devils returned home, leaving Jack to sit with his own thoughts. Layla had attempted to visit but he wouldn’t let her in.

He let the media consume him, the news articles and TikTok videos. All calling him out for not being good enough, he was a bust.

His feelings started almost subconsciously. When he was out at the store he would pick up bottles of painkillers as if he’d not bought bottles the day prior.

He began ‘forgetting’ to call and text his family and friends. His way of preparing them to never hear from him again.

People began to get concerned for him, he wasn’t himself.

A week into his depressive episode Jack tried to get back out there. He ventured to Raya.

He started talking to a model, she seemed nice and they organized a date only for him to show up and she couldn’t stop talking about followers and social media, how being with someone famous like Jack would do good for her.

Jack paid the bill and he left.

Just another girl who saw him as nothing more than just another pretty boy.

The bottles lined up on his bathroom counter, caps off as he stared at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and bloodshot and his palms were sure to have cuts from his grip on the marble countertop.

He took them, all of them.

The empty plastic bottles clattered against the floor once he’d tossed them, his chest heaving while they slipped down his windpipe.

He was sobbing and he wasn’t sure why. It felt right. To cry and mourn the life he was taking away.

It didn’t happen all at once. Jack expected it to happen faster but he felt fine.

He found his phone, texting ‘i love you’ to his friends and family. A few replied with similar

Others, his brother Quinn questioned him

what do you mean? what’s wrong?

Quinn called him. He declined.

Quinn called again. He declined again.

Quinn text. And again. And again.

When Jack declined Quinn’s call for a third time, he called 911.

“Hi yes my brother, he’s acting weird and I think — I think he could be hurting himself”

Jack sat on the bathroom floor as the pills slowly worked their way into his body, his fingers began getting numb and he became drowsy.

He didn’t know what was happening but he heard a lot of yelling and the door of the bathroom flew open.

On the other side of the door was you, chest heaving as you stared down at him

“My god, dude your doors are heavy!”

You dropped to your knees next to him, pulling out liquids and needles while you simultaneously turned jack towards the toilet bowl.

“Who?” Jack slurred.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I’m here to help. My names y/n, I’m a paramedic. I hear you’ve got an awfully concerned big brother” you explained, using the time he was distracted to slip the needle into his arm while held the liquids he was about to need.

“I Just, Go! I want to die!” He demanded, shoving you as much as he could.

You shook your head “I can’t let that happen Jack, You have so much to live for”

“No” he cries “I hate you, stop!”

You turn him towards the toilet bowl once more and you say “You’re about to hate me so much more”

And before he can question you, you shove two of your fingers into his mouth and hit the back of his throat. He gags and tries to pull your hands out but you grab the back of his head and stop him

“I’m sorry Jack, I hope you’ll forgive me at some point”

He’s puking all over your hand and although he’s in no position to, he feels embarrassed.

Once he has vomited a sufficient amount your second paramedic has arrived with the gurney.

“C’mon bud let’s go to the hospital” you mumble, helping him up. He holds onto you, his hands are shaking and you can hear him softly sobbing.

Your heart breaks for him as you watch him, confused, sit on the gurney and be strapped down.

When he’s loaded in, he’s looking around as if he’s looking for someone. You smile as you go to grab the keys from your partner when Jack reaches out and grabs your hand

“Please don’t leave me”

You nod, jumping in the back with him.

You sit in silence for a while, filling out forms and checking his meds until Jack breaks the silence

“You’re not gonna ask why I did it?”

You hum “It’s not my place to question you”

“You’re not curious?” He presses.

You sigh, putting down your clipboard

“Do you want me to ask? Do you want me to question why you, Jack, hate your life so much to want to end it? What, because you’re a hotshot hockey player you think mental health can’t touch you?” You reply.

Jack physically gulps “how did-“

“Jack, you’re worth so much in this world. More than hockey! You’re gonna be a dad one day and get married? You’ll take trips across the world with your friends and you’ll do loads of exciting shit!” You exclaim, the smile on your face put one on Jack’s

He looked down at his hands and you huffed before standing to adjust his saline bag

“It was a girl” he mumbled and you frowned

“Huh?”

“It was a girl that I was getting to depressed over”

You tut and sit back down on the bench

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing! You seem like a great guy Jack and you have a caring family, your brother was really worried about you is what dispatch said”

Jack’s lips created a thin line and he hummed before he said

“Do You do this a lot? You were really calm today”

You chuckled softly “You are the first suicide attempt I’ve ever been to and I am actually having a major panic attack internally right now”

“Oh” Jack’s mouth creates an O shape “Sorry about that”

You brush it off with a soft smile.

“You’ve got so much to live for Jack, I promise”

Once you’re at the hospital and he’s being pulled out of the ambulance he grabs your wrist once more, bringing your attention to him

“What do i have to live for? Tell me”

You give him a smile and hold his hand

“It’ll happen Jack, just hold on”

“C’mon baby, just hold on a couple more-“

“He’s here!”

You throw your head back and cry out “Jack! What does he-“

“He’s so perfect baby, he’s fucking beautiful” he cries, kissing your head repeatedly.

That night, the rooms quiet and jack is sitting in the chair next to you while your son sleeps soundly on the other side of the room.

You look over to Jack and give a sleepy smile

He smiles back and said “was this it?”

“Was this what?”

“Me holding on. Was this what I was holding on for?”

Your face drops remembering that day

“Was It worth it? What I described?”

“It Was everything and more, thank you for saving my life in more ways than one”

#jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #nhl imagine #tw: suicide

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haggishlyhagging · 5 months

Text

It would take Diane Joyce nearly ten years of battles to become the first female skilled crafts worker ever in Santa Clara County history. It would take another seven years of court litigation, pursued all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, before she could actually start work. And then, the real fight would begin.

For blue-collar women, there was no honeymoon period on the job; the backlash began the first day they reported to work—and only intensified as the Reagan economy put more than a million blue-collar men out of work, reduced wages, and spread mounting fear. While the white-collar world seemed capable of absorbing countless lawyers and bankers in the 80s, the trades and crafts had no room for expansion. "Women are far more economically threatening in blue-collar work, because there are a finite number of jobs from which to choose," Mary Ellen Boyd, executive director of Non-Traditional Employment for Women, observes. "An MBA can do anything. But a plumber is only a plumber." While women never represented more than a few percentage points of the blue-collar work force, in this powder-keg situation it only took a few female faces to trigger a violent explosion.

Diane Joyce arrived in California in 1970, a thirty-three-year-old widow with four children, born and raised in Chicago. Her father was a tool-and-die maker, her mother a returned-goods clerk at a Walgreen's warehouse. At eighteen, she married Donald Joyce, a tool-and-die maker's apprentice at her father's plant. Fifteen years later, after working knee-deep in PCBs for years, he died suddenly of a rare form of liver cancer.

After her husband's death, Joyce taught herself to drive, packed her children in a 1966 Chrysler station wagon and headed west to San Jose, California, where a lone relative lived. Joyce was an experienced bookkeeper and she soon found work as a clerk in the county Office of Education, at $506 a month. A year later, she heard that the county's transportation department had a senior account clerk job vacant that paid $50 more a month. She applied in March 1972.

"You know, we wanted a man," the interviewer told her as soon as she walked through the door. But the account clerk jobs had all taken a pay cut recently, and sixteen women and no men had applied for the job. So he sent her on to the second interview. "This guy was a little politer," Joyce recalls. "First, he said, 'Nice day, isn't it?' before he tells me, 'You know, we wanted a man.' I wanted to say, 'Yeah, and where's my man? I am the man in my house.' But I'm sitting there with four kids to feed and all I can see is dollar signs, so I kept my mouth shut."

She got the job. Three months later, Joyce saw a posting for a "road maintenance man." An eighth-grade education and one year's work experience was all that was required, and the pay was $723 a month. Her current job required a high-school education, bookkeeping skills, and four years' experience— and paid $150 less a month. "I saw that flier and I said, ‘Oh wow, I can do that.’ Everyone in the office laughed. They thought it was a riot. . . . I let it drop."

But later that same year, every county worker got a 2 to 5 percent raise except for the 70 female account clerks. "Oh now, what do you girls need a raise for?" the director of personnel told Joyce and some other women who went before the board of supervisors to object. "All you'd do is spend the money on trips to Europe." Joyce was shocked. "Every account clerk I knew was supporting a family through death or divorce. I'd never seen Mexico, let alone Europe." Joyce decided to apply for the next better-paying "male" job that opened. In the meantime, she became active in the union; a skillful writer and one of the best-educated representatives there, Joyce wound up composing the safety language in the master contract and negotiating what became the most powerful county agreement protecting seniority rights.

In 1974, a road dispatcher retired, and both Joyce and a man named Paul Johnson, a former oil-fields roustabout, applied for the post. The supervisors told Joyce she needed to work on the road crew first and handed back her application. Johnson didn't have any road crew experience either, but his application was accepted. In the end, the job went to another man.

Joyce set out to get road crew experience. As she was filling out her application for the next road crew job that opened, in 1975, her supervisor walked in, asked what she was doing, and turned red. "You're taking a man's job away!" he shouted. Joyce sat silently for a minute, thinking. Then she said, "No, I'm not. Because a man can sit right here where I'm sitting."

In the evenings, she took courses in road maintenance and truck and light equipment operation. She came in third out of 87 applicants on the job test; there were ten openings on the road crew, and she got one of them.

For the next four years, Joyce carried tar pots on her shoulder, pulled trash from the median strip, and maneuvered trucks up the mountains to clear mud slides. "Working outdoors was great," she says. "You know, women pay fifty dollars a month to join a health club, and here I was getting paid to get in shape." The road men didn't exactly welcome her arrival. When they trained her to drive the bobtail trucks, she says, they kept changing instructions; one gave her driving tips that nearly blew up the engine. Her supervisor wouldn't issue her a pair of coveralls; she had to file a formal grievance to get them. In the yard, the men kept the ladies' room locked, and on the road they wouldn't stop to let her use the bathroom. "You wanted a man's job, you learn to pee like a man," her supervisor told her.

Obscene graffiti about Joyce appeared on the sides of trucks. Men threw darts at union notices she posted on the bulletin board. One day, the stockroom storekeeper, Tony Laramie, who says later he liked to call her "the piglet," called a general meeting in the depot's Ready Room. "I hate the day you came here," Laramie started screaming at Joyce as the other men looked on, many nodding. "We don't want you here. You don't belong here. Why don't you go the hell away?"

Joyce's experience was typical of the forthright and often violent backlash within the blue-collar work force, an assault undisguised by decorous homages to women's "difference." At a construction site in New York, for example, where only a few female hard-hats had found work, the men took a woman's work boots and hacked them into bits. Another woman was injured by a male co-worker; he hit her on the head with a two-by-four. In Santa Clara County, where Joyce worked, the county's equal opportunity office files were stuffed with reports of ostracism, hazing, sexual harassment, threats, verbal and physical abuse. "It's pervasive in some of the shops," says John Longabaugh, the county's equal employment officer at the time. "They mess up their tools, leave pornography on their desks. Safety equipment is made difficult to get, or unavailable." A maintenance worker greeted the first woman in his department with these words: "I know someone who would break your arm or leg for a price." Another new woman was ordered to clean a transit bus by her supervisor—only to find when she climbed aboard that the men had left a little gift for her: feces smeared across the seats.

In 1980, another dispatcher job opened up. Joyce and Johnson both applied. They both got similarly high scores on the written exam. Joyce now had four years' experience on the road crew; Paul Johnson only had a year and a half. The three interviewers, one of whom later referred to Joyce in court as "rabble-rousing" and "not a lady," gave the job to Johnson. Joyce decided to complain to the county athrmative action office.

The decision fell to James Graebner, the new director of the transportation department, an engineer who believed that it was about time the county hired its first woman for its 238 skilled-crafts jobs. Graebner confronted the roads director, Ron Shields. "What's wrong with the woman?" Graebner asked. “I hate her," Shields said, according to other people in the room. "I just said I thought Johnson was more qualified," is how Shields remembers it. "She didn't have the proficiency with heavy equipment." Neither, of course, did Johnson. Not that it was relevant anyway: dispatch is an office job that doesn't require lifting anything heavier than a microphone.

Graebner told Shields he was being overruled; Joyce had the job. Later that day, Joyce recalls, her supervisor called her into the conference room. "Well, you got the job," he told her. "But you're not qualified." Johnson, meanwhile, sat by the phone, dialing up the chain of command. "I felt like tearing something up," he recalls later. He demanded a meeting with the affirmative action office. "The affirmative action man walks in," Johnson says, "and he's this big black guy. He can't tell me anything. He brings in this minority who can barely speak English . . . I told them, 'You haven't heard the last of me.'" Within days, he had hired a lawyer and set his reverse discrimination suit in motion, contending that the county had given the job to a "less qualified" woman.

In 1987, the Supreme Court ruled against Johnson. The decision was hailed by women's and civil rights groups. But victory in Washington was not the same as triumph in the transportation yard. For Joyce and the road men, the backlash was just warming up. "Something like this is going to hurt me one day," Gerald Pourroy, a foreman in Joyce's office, says of the court's ruling, his voice low and bitter. He stares at the concrete wall above his desk. "I look down the tracks and I see the train coming toward me."

The day after the Supreme Court decision, a woman in the county office sent Joyce a congratulatory bouquet, two dozen carnations. Joyce arranged the flowers in a vase on her desk. The next day they were gone. She found them finally, crushed in a garbage bin. A road foreman told her, "I drop-kicked them across the yard."

-Susan Faludi, Backlash: the Undeclared War Against American Women

#susan faludi #female oppression #male entitlement #male violence #blue collar #women’s work #pay gap #sexism #misogyny #womens history #us history #amerika

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