#do not pity me this is just funny

[okaywannabe]

i need to stop sewing in my bed

i was almost asleep, all snug and cozy, and tried to get even more comfortable and.! as it turns out! i had a sewing needle, directly under where ive been sleeping for, what i can only assume to be, several days! fucking ow!

#I must've been like #millimeters away from it pricking me every night #i nearly jumped outta my skin from the fright i tells ya #do not pity me this is just funny

[kicktwine]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock #if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died #sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior- #kipspeak #she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not #to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now #this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky #Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves #the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions #so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is #just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed #anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o #weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot #it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting #she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct #just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close #my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s #HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet #too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed #very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun #and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’ #I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me #LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya #It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions— #I’m not done let me s #she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH

[youngyoo-apologist]

If I ever met Cale I’d laugh in his face because my life is everything he wants his to be (I slack off and he doesn’t)

#I do nothing all day #I’m the real slacker between the two of us #he’s actually such a fake slacker I can’t believe him #he’s so in denial about it too #I love him he’s so pitiful and unfortunate #he doesn’t even know he’s digging his slacker life’s own grave #tsk tsk #Cale let me tell you from a real slacker to a fake one #a REAL slacker does the bare minimum of everything possible #if something sounds like a pain you find a way to avoid it entirely and do something where you can get the most rest right at that moment #while I think your method of slacking off for the future works occasionally #you must find balance between work and rest #and you poor soul have found yourself forever drowning in work because of your ‘I have to do it now it’s more convenient’ mentality #rambling #I like to make fun of Cale a lot actually #Alberu too #it’s just so funny #My favorite old man workaholics #one of them is in denial about it the other is not #tcf #lcf

[viviraptor]

one art thing that keeps making me want to pull my hair out is when ppl post a drawing and immediately call it bad/mention its flaws in the caption. whatever you think you're doing with that i can assure you it's not working

#vivi.txt #listen to me. putting my hands on your shoulders. #i know you think calling your art bad makes you sound humble and relatable and funny but that is not how it looks to other people. #i'm going to be harsh for a second it sounds like your self esteem is low and you're looking for interaction out of pity. #BUT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN i know this because i did it too!!!! #saying those things over and over made me believe they were true. and a lack of interaction made it feel like others were agreeing with me #and maybe they are! when you mention something's flaws to someone they're obviously gonna look for them and notice them #and they might just ignore your stuff BECAUSE of that #and whatever notes you do get you've conditioned yourself to believe that they came out of pity for you which FEELS TERRIBLE #you have to get out of the habit of putting down your work. you don't even have to love it you don't have to think it's perfect #but your own words are is going to influence how others perceive it and not always in a good way!! #plus whatever mistake you wanted to mention would probably be totally ignored by others if you don't say anything. streisand effect #JUST PLEASE BE KIND TO YOURSELF. PEOPLE WILL MATCH YOUR ENERGY AND BE KIND TO YOU IN RETURN OKAY. PROMISE

[thyandrawrites]

Do you ever look around yourself in a fandom and realize your headcanons aren't shared by almost anyone anymore because most of your original group of peers left the fandom and now there's new folks with completely foreign tropes and interpretations... or is that just me? Gosh, way to make me feel like a fandom oldie...

#You know it's funny because I'm pouring all my headcanons and readings of the current arc in fic format #And it's taking me a year to finish this thing #And I just realized that when I do post it... it might be very poorly received bc everyone reads these things very differently now #It's so weird #But anyway this wasn't a pity party #I am writing my fic anyway because I do enjoy it #And I like it as is #If it's unpopular so be it #I'll just put an author's note to warn ppl I guess lol #Me: no fear #One fear: people who think dabi doesn't give a shit about his siblings and that his emotions are black and white #The todofam is like an onion. They have layers #Most of which are ugly ngl #I hope I will convey that nuance

[synthshenanigans]

Continuing from my last post bout Mind, we also need to talk more about how paranoid & untrusting/second-guessing your mind can be cause i think its very interesting

#as somone whos way too paranoid for its own good i like seeing it portrayed into mind #im not projecting you are shush #but like especially the way he sometimes assumes heart is lying or doing thing for attention/pity #cause its like when your brain would tell those things #or maybe thats just my mental illness talking #also not trying to paint heart as innocent here this was just a mind post #heart can also be a bit self centered or the whole claiming to be the victim thing #but also thats not bashing heart either i love the guy too #this is just me looking at some lyrics and how the characters operate and going #“omg hes just like me fr fr” and projecting #none of them are okay and its fun to characterize the reasons why #heart always claims to be the victim mind thinks hes better off without the rest & souls answer to the problem is to off everyone/himself #all bad thoughts but to heal we must take funny lil guys and make them sad #and project said feelings & thoughts unto them #okay im realizing a main reason i like hms/cjs music is i might relate to it too much #im fine i swear #i haven't even talked about the fact i like his two wuv hokum all ye faithful & hallelujah covers a lil too much #i need a cj's music trauma bingo card/j #okay rant over #chonny jash #cj mind

[baekuras]

In case anyone wanted to know what my current dialogue checks are looking like

#pathfinder wotr #txts #literally everyone either mocks pities or is scared of ember #and i am just here like: this is a child #look she can throw fire yeah #but other than that as of right now just starting out really #thats just a kid #then again no one is better at being mean than a kid just speaking their honest mind #they can dig deep man #i do just kinda find it funny given the...everyone else #like guys she has an ac of like 8 you can kick her in the shins and she'll crumble #granted i will go wage war if that does happen BUT you theoretically with no regard for your own life or those around you COULD #dont quote me on the ac btw i didnt check #the 2 tieflings is woljif+my commander btw #bc i am ~predictable~

[forevercloudnine]

on again and off again and on again and

batcat break up and/or hook up playlist (Spotify || Youtube)

Too Close Sir Chloe // Lost Kitten Metric // Blah Blah Blah The Oozes // Wet Dazey and the Scouts // get him back! Olivia Rodrigo // Rehab People Planet // Margarita Spin Doctors // Paris Kate Nash // Denial Thing Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra (Spotify Alt: Gives You Hell All-American Rejects) // I Really F**cked It Up GIRLI // Good in Bed Dua Lipa

#batcat #bruce wayne #selina kyle #catwoman #gotham war #kind of. this playlist has been in progress for several years but gotham war was what finally compelled me to finish it #it's been sitting in my in-progress private playlist folder as 'epic divorce hours' since 2021 #okay so this goes selina pov -> bruce pov -> selina pov etc until the very last song #'too close' is selina being tired of the fragile rich boy telling her what to do like he doesn't have his own problems #'lost kitten' is bruce classism hours plus like. lost kitten catwoman do you need me to debase myself by explaining this #'blah blah blah' is literally an anti-tory hate anthem #which i think is funny as a selina breaking up with law-and-order-billionaire bruce wayne moment. but also his eyes are blue 💙 #'wet' is bruce left-at-the-altar self pity hour with a cameo from his eternal death wish #'get him back!' fits the 'i love you but fuck off' thesis of the playlist but also 'when he said something wrong he'd just fly me to france #is just such a funny line for selina. to me #'rehab' is bruce hypocritically wanting selina to fix herself and get her act together and then giving up on her #margarita is the divorce song of all time so i had no choice in adding it. and it did have to be selina's because bruce is not a drinker #but 'take the salt from my wounds and put it in my margarita' is also in general selina attitude rather than a bruce one #'paris' is bruce bemoaning that selina never listens to him re: too close from the beginning #'denial thing' is SUCH a perfect selina yelling at bruce song it kills me that it's not on spotify. whatever #'gives you hell' is an adequate replacement for the spotify version because bruce IS still working at a 9[pm] to 5[am] pace #and it does taste bad. and also his shiny car did not get him far #'i really f**cked it up' (asterisks are in the actual song title unfortunately) is bruce's anger issues guilt complex etc #and then 'good in bed' is for both of them because it's them hooking up after an argument. boom playlist over #playlist #<- remembering my tag organization system at the very end of a wall of text that is way too long for how short this playlist is

[lameow-l]

FUNNIEST DUDE AND HE'S COMING HOME FOR FREE!!!!!!!

#hes the fusion of all sumeru's 4 and u cant tell me otherwise bc its true #ill explain tho #obviously hes got alhaitham's physique but also his arrogance (as in they think theyre smarter than everyone else) #then hes got geometry and math and an artistic side that's kaveh #they way he talk is straight up tighnari (i didnt watch the stream tho just the trailer and these posts) #“the most annoying thing about idiocy is that you cant explain it to an idiot” #“the current arrangements for this warp are pitiful! Zero points!” #“you look troubled. a portrait of eternal turmoil” “do try to think for yourself” #*i can also see a dottore but leave me alone* #lastly he's unintentionally funny just like how cyno is not funny for his jokes but for the idea that a serious guy like him would say them #honkai: star rail #dr. ratio #when i first saw him i didnt think i would like him this much #and im getting him for free?? hell yeah #its funny how people kept saying better than genshin bc did yall forget about **** ALOY****

[thefandomcassandra]

Everyone's like "ooooh Sandr how do you do character voices so well? You always understand how a character talks! Your dialog feels so natural!"

I have a secret for you: it's the autism.

I mirror a lot. Especially verbally. Turns out when you spend hours watching how people talk, paying attention to their word preference, how much they swear, when and where they use contractions, how they refer to others, and so on, you get really goddamn good at imitating character voice.

Anyway if you ever envy me for this, please remember that I only earned this skill in exchange for being such a weird kid that my parents let me stay in an abusive friendship for fourteen years (they didn't know it was abusive, just that she was bad for me) because I "didn't make friends easily".

#the sheepy speaks #this aint fishing for pity or nothing #i just realized the origin of my super power and it sucked lmao #do not pity me or apologize to me for this #its just a very funny realization

[keeps-ache]

jalapeño. in my eyeball

#just me hi #i was helping make pico de gayo and i thought i washed my hands properly #apparently NOT #hashtag that felt like the gates of heaven opening up and i wasn't supposed to be there #did i scream? no. did i yell in chat at Flame though? yea. it had to go somewhere. sorry Flame‚ but i think you'll understand when i say Ow #/well! there's another experience under my belt i guess Lol #cold water never felt SO good though #top ten things i'd do again to experience the full bliss of chilly water: #top ten things i comically said wouldn't happen and then happened less than an hour later: #/i really like the feeling that a lulling burn has though #good stuff! #//gotta wash dishes now tho. does the world have no pity (i did it to myself (it was funny ngl))

[bigweldindustries]

honestly i find everything about me being an adult and doing work stuff inherently fucking hilarious bc like its me but the fact i am going to TEACH. AT A UNIVERSITY. ME. TEACHING. imagine walking into an extra elective you picked up and having /me/ as your professor

#axel grinds on #would like to point out i did NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS #we got some funding somewhere somehow in conjunction with the uni #and i thought it was just to fuckin scope out the uni see if it was suitable for solar panels #and then its “hey good news youre gonna be teachin the architechture students about solar design” #so im like ??????????????? you want me to do WHAT #and then i realised aw fuck theyre architechture students am i gonna have to teach them physics i went into this from engineering so #everything about this is so fucking funny #like i know im an alumni of the university so theyre excited to get me to teach there but like #i am not a /good/ alumni i took 5 years to graduate and then got a mickey mouse without honours degree #because i was too stupid to understand the power grid and all that shit #they took pity on me after i failed the class TWICE and gave me the participation award of degrees #you want ME to TEACH???

[tardis--dreams]

Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service #because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not #like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone #or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos #they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of #HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))' #I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is #(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them #if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy) #anyway. she's nice. I'm not. #there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes #:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet #(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die) #like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never #'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay #'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!' #my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao #'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy' #at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how #oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment #from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you #seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch. #next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything #about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me) #void screams #some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee #(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members #who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))

[licorishh]

I would like to share something a little more serious than what I usually post here.

So for the last two years, ever since I got diagnosed with celiac disease, it's been nothing but a barrage of more and more health issues showing up. I figured out I likely had ADHD and autism, I got diagnosed about eight months ago with hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's, I still don't know what's causing my chronic shoulder pain, for a few months almost everything I was eating was making me sick and I y'know twice in the span of one month, I'm dangerously underweight because I've barely been able to eat anything, and I have tons of food restrictions that make it extremely difficult to find something to eat. I felt miserable.

The last time I was sick was a week ago. I was nauseous two days in a row and was sick the second day. I felt awful, but afterwards the feeling went away, thankfully. The problem was that it suddenly out of nowhere set in a terror of feeling sick, feeling nauseous, and even just eating. The idea of eating scared me. I immediately felt a phobia of it, and Friday I wasn't even feeling bad but I had an episode of my heart racing and feeling really shaky and faint.

While I was feeling that, I knew it was literally just fear. I wasn't actually nauseous at all, but I was sitting there perpetuating a fear of feeling bad, and it was giving me all the symptoms of feeling sick without actually being nauseous. I was making myself feel bad because I was so terrified of feeling bad.

So I sat on the couch in the living room and read Revelation for a while. I eventually asked my mom just to pray for me and to help me get past this fear, because I am not meant to have a spirit of fear. She prayed for me, and then we just started chit-chatting about Revelation and about the Lord and when I tell you I felt so much better.

Since then I've had a couple of times when I started to really freak out just because I felt the slightest twinge, but for the last week I've had a monumental shift in my mindset. The Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, and neither has He given that to you.

I feel like in the last few days I've finally understood what it means to be truly thankful for Jesus and not just for the material things I have in this life. Yes, food, A/C, a roof over my head, electricity, and water are all wonderful things and I'm extremely thankful for them, but now I finally realize how it feels to be thankful for peace and hope and joy and Jesus. I cannot even begin to express to you how unfathomably comforted I have felt these last few days. I'm bout to frickin cry rn yet again dadgumit I've cried like eight times in the last couple days

I've been listening to a lot of Kari Jobe's music cause she has so much good stuff, especially "I Am Not Alone." I absolutely love that one and would highly recommend it if you're feeling lonely or fearful right now.

You probably think I'm overreacting a bit, but I was legitimately terrified. But in spite of that, I've been readjusting my mindset and praying more than I ever have before and just existing with God and I literally can't possibly communicate how comforting it is. There are simply no words. No matter what time of day it is, no matter how bad I feel, no matter how afraid I might be to eat that particular thing for fear of it not sitting well, I really legitimately feel more strongly than I ever have in my entire life that He is with me every single step of the way and He loves and treasures and values me and is holding me in His hand.

I so desperately want every single person on this earth to experience that feeling. It's a feeling you cannot begin to imagine until you've experienced it. The goodness and the kindness and the peace of the Lord is unmatched by anything on this earth.

I know this is way more serious than what I usually post but I just can't not. I have never felt this peaceful or joyful or thankful or hopeful in the seventeen years I've been alive and that is something nothing can ever take away from me. It's my sincerest hope that you will see this and hear it and believe it.

I'm not naturally a very fearful person, so this took me by surprise. I'm not used to feeling terror. It feels dark, hopeless, lonely. But that darkness, that hopelessness, that loneliness, and that fear is nothing in the face of the Lord's goodness. Nothing. I'm telling you.

Please, please, if you are in a dark place right now, I am begging you to take my word for it. If you call out to Him He is there. I've never been more convinced of this in my life because I finally have seen it. I finally stopped saying "Yep, yeah, uh-huh, that's great" and actually did it myself.

That doesn't mean all our struggles and trials automatically vanish. I still slip up and feel scared sometimes, but to be honest with you, feeling emotionally stable and spiritually satisfied is so much more important than feeling nauseous or being wary of eating. The peace and joy and faith and hope I have right now is greater than feeling good physically.

The Lord is so, so, so good. He is so kind, so loving, so comforting, and I so badly want everyone to be able to feel how I feel now.

He sees you in the midst of your struggles. He does. His heart aches for you, He weeps with you, He adores you in ways you cannot begin to imagine. You are His precious child, His beautiful creation, the love of His life.

Please, please believe me.

#like i said i know i'm usually quite goofy and silly and funny ahh over here but this is something i really wanted to say #this is also not meant to be a pity-party for me please do not think that #i'm simply relaying my own experience of feeling caught up in my fear and my panic and how it felt to be able to let go of that fear #this may not reach many people but even if it just reaches one person who needs it right now that's more than enough #the Jesus i know is not one of angry condemnation and hatred and ridicule. anyone who tells you that's who He is is lying

[toxifoxx]

#sorry to every recent follower who's seen my nonsense thus far #anyways this time its going in the tags so. vent warning #mfw i will never fit in with any circle im in and dont match their energy in the right way #i like what they like but not in the right way #dont communicate in the right way. dont interact in the right way #dont enjoy certain things they all seem to like #incapable of doing anything right. incapable of connecting to anybody. one such reason why i need to be taken out back and shot #end my pitiful life now because i will never fucking be able to interact with other people normally #i am convinced there is nothing that can be done about it #i need to be put out of my misery #i cant reach out cant talk to them cant ask to be included. ill annoy them. then i wont have anyone in my circle at all. #sure i might seem fun but im only good in small doses. no one would want to be around me too long. #i get boring. i get annoying. my jokes all fall flat #im only good when im being as likeable and funny and entertaining as i can be #i dont belong in any conversation. if i talk im just an interruption. if i talk about what im up to then im just being annoying #annoying people get blocked right? its only a matter of time till they figure out you're one of those. #im not fun to be around its just that simple. thats why no one wants to talk to me. no one seeks me out. not that i blame them #why would they i havent given anyone a reason to #i might as well not be here. its just like school was. i dont exist to anybody. there is plexiglass between me and the world #ok i need to stop now #its my fault anyways

[lumism]

they graduated from the same pookie school

#the sweetest little guy but also a sneaky boy. has a kill count but is only tiny. will roll his eyes and say the most out of pocket things #doesn't feel like he belongs. has to lie to those he cares about while doing anything to make them feel special #brave and loyal. a menace. gets so many bitches #he has powers. he loves his mom a lot. he allows others take credit for what is so essentially him #he thinks crime is fun. he has been referred to as wise. he remains kind despite the fact that fate constantly spits in his face #he could probably burn down the world but instead he builds fires to keep his friends warm. if you are being stupid he will ignore you #self sabotage like you've never seen. never had a single crying scene that didn't feel like someone crushed your heart under their heel #nice but mean. he will tell you when you're being a prat and a total self pitying idiot #looks at his boy best friend who is just some guy and turns him into the protagonist of the story #he hasn't known rest in years. plagued by voices and visions #he has had a very sad scene (or multiple) that includes a lake. he is everything to me. his heart has been broken so many times #he is funny and he is sensitive and he is caring and he has died but then he got better #and also. he is gay #🌟🌷 #ph