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#didn't want people to think i'm being an incel tho lol
sandyspaghettibag Β· 4 months
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Happy Valentine's Day
Okay so I'm only halfway into Valentine's Day 2024 and I have a whole story in three parts. To be fair, none of my Valentine's Days have ever been very impactful (spent the last one nonstop listening to a new Brooke Candy song, stream juicy fruit everyone) so this one being the one where I'm feeling the single bitch energy kinda makes sense since I'm an adult now.
ANYWAY, this tale of dork virginness begins two days ago where my crush is ignoring me after two days of talking to me for hours like he loved me or something (please make up your mind, I can't even say that because I can't make up my mind ever either but pls) and in the midst of this ignoring and absolute lack of harmony with him that's gutted me to the core, he talks about how much he hates the gay dating scene.
…and I was like BITCH UR TRYING TO DATE WHEN I'M RIGHT HERE?? What the hell, this possible relationship just got an expiration date
So I was so irritated that I fizzled out whatever embarrassing "conversation" I had with him where he's giving me four-word responses every ten minutes in between talking to other dudes, and because I'm a sad bitch about it, I logged onto an Omegle knockoff at 5 in the morning and skipped through hundreds of straight guys who were horny and looking for women (bitch look elsewhere, women aren't looking for love on """emerald chat omegle alternative""" okay, i promise u), and I ended up paired with an allegedly straight guy who I basically dirty talked with about my butt until he came lmao… bless.
So that's part 1. Part 2 is me being so pissed off about something(?), oh yeah, I stubbed my toe SO HARD on a random chair on my way back to bed after the shower and plugged my phone charger in so hard that it broke. Didn't even feel bad, it was doing that thing where you have to hold it at a certain angle anyway.
THIS MORNING: the clothes I put in the dryer literally got BURNED IN THE DRYER (????) so I had to go to college in clothes that smelled like a literal dumpster fire and pretend like nobody noticed. Let alone the fact that I slept through my alarm AAAAGAAAAIN and my mom bustled into my room like "aren't u supposed to be up????"
Went to college this morning, sped so much on the highway and SOMEHOW made it in time, totally forgot how I'm the only single person in my group. Literally one is engaged, one is married with a CHILD, and the other one came decked out in the cutest Valentine's outfit I've ever seen (also not single tho keodjownwdoek) and I like being single!! I dooooo, I just hate these dumbass boys being weird and not loving me, I'm so lovable tf
Anyway, I finally look at my messages as I'm leaving and who do I see but none other than mr. "I'm coming to destroy that butt" who my romantic opinions on are very mixed. Been talking to him while Mister worldwide ghosts me some more πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„
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salvatoreren Β· 2 years
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Eren appreciation post
Before this day ends, I'd like to share my history in loving and stanning Eren Yeager
I have read Eren Yeager fanfictions even before I started the series because for some reason I was attracted to this character whom I've only seen once because of my sister. Because of that, I started to watch AoT
Despite Eren acting like what people claim to be a total little shit in the first season, I never found him annoying for strange reasons, this character had obviously became my favorite and i've been attached to him unknowingly. And I'm gonna be honest with all of you. I was the desperate little shit I was when I tried so hard to find for Eren Yeager x readers in wattpad (yes i have an account there) there were only a few because man bun eren wasn't released in the anime yet so that totally sucks
and oh god the listeners, i tried to find them, though only finding a few as well they were a treasure to me, I literally went on a hunting spree for any good eren yeager fics, i went here, to quotev then deviantart, i was not aware of ao3's existence at all, when i found several fics in deviantart i settled and oof there were so many fics that i stored in my favorites lmao
I was crazy for this character and I wasn't even done with season 1 and 3.
Eren Yeager made my 2020, those eren hunting fics day were the greatest experience i had in the aot and I bask in shame that I've only discovered this series when it was this close to ending. But I liked those posts even for a shitty community as reddit about Eren being a chad, I was aware that he was not exactly a loved character and I was so glad to see, here people were basically worshipping him lol
Then I found a glorious Eren fanfic, i read it nonstop which is saying something because i don't have the ability to do that anymore lol, the fic is called cupcake and its on wattpad so yeah, do what you will with that information
Anddd I lowk left the fandom, but I was pretty sure I still loved Eren. I literally freaked out when I saw animated hobo eren, ughhh, Then that's when i went to ao3
My first read and bookmark in ao3 was literally an eren fic who hasn't been updated in almost a year [take your time tho author] it was so good just like with the cupcake i read it nonstop as well. then the rest was me reading eren fics. I kept up with the manga instead to savor its remaining chapters lmao savor, yeah and I too was desperate to seen an eren pov which we never got.
Moving on now I totally left the fandom since i got into different shit, i didn't felt as strongly as i did during his birthday, but i retweeted every single shit i saw about eren
Then april 8 came [english translation]. i need to stop with using then. whatever, I literally cried when i saw eren's decapacitated head god, i cried even more when armin cried for him full on sobbing, that was the only thing i felt, eren yeager was such a close character in my heart. I knew at that moment I still was attached to this character.
Oh and how could i forget, all those eren tweets about him being a jerk, an incel, and his character assassination [I did not agree with those yet; the character assassination part] so yeah that was painful
Because of my love for eren yeager, I wanted to start a fanfic about him, a storyline in my head, but yk im an awful writer so i postponed that shit up then really left the fandom like really but the eren fic still comes in to my mind
Few months later i rewatched the series again, became even more attached to eren yeager as attached as that hallucigenia on ymir, literally threatened when someone insults him a bad trait of mine. so yeah I cooked that shit storyline up, carefully planned, now its published and all i can say is its decent ig
But I did consider just giving up the fic since it was so hard and i had other priorities to think about and to fix myself but i just couldn't since i wanted so bad to show my appreciation, love and portrayal for eren that i just went ah fuck it fine
Eren Yeager changed my life and he was the greatest thing that happened to me not exaggerating, i love him so much, i literally cried when i knew he wasn't real lmao, He is such a complex, misunderstood and tragic character as people had claimed to be and i believed it and i have cried about him being called like that, he deserves every damn thing so fucking much. This is his last where the anime is still ongoing so im glad i went back into the aot fandom inspite of a few morons and celebrated his birthday like it was the second coming of christ yeah
Happy Birthday Eren Yeager; protagonist of attack on titan, suicidal bastard, humanity's hope, the coordinate, attack titan, founding titan, kruger, usurper, the boy who sought freedom, best boy, the absolute love of my stupid life, if you were a real person I'd totally love and hug you lol, I have never felt this strong for a character
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gangrenados Β· 2 years
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you'll have to let us know what you think after you've seen it but I feel pretty damn confident that The Batman's Bruce is definitely a sub lmao
Okay I already processed the whole movie sooo let me share some thoughts lol
-Selina looked so GORGEOUS, her club walking was kinda funny tho it gave me perfume commercial vibes lol
-Bruce Wayne= a wet cat who deserves a shower and a love cuz boy that man looks touch starved
-THE RIDDLER HAD MASSIVE INCEL VIBES LMAOOO he was so pathetic
-I'm a Gordon stan
-I wanted to slap Bruce for talking soo poorly to Alfred, have some respect mf
-THE VENOM SCENE I didn't expected Bruce to use venom lol I thought that was only a Red hood thing
-Batman hitting people was hot af
-And yes I can see this Bruce being a sub lol
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ilkkijangege Β· 4 years
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123
Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.
I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.
Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it πŸ˜‚ as if he's ever talked about me to his friends πŸ˜‚"
Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH πŸ˜‚
Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.
Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. πŸ˜‚
20/3/2020
Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭
It's G tho πŸ˜‚ Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word πŸ˜‚
Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something πŸ˜‚ really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.
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21/03/2020
Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.
I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.
I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!
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22/03/2020
This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo πŸ˜‚
Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" πŸ˜‚ hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako πŸ˜‚ but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. πŸ˜‚
Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.
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23/03
He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people
ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS
Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU
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24/03
STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME
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25/03
No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc
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26/03
I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.
I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.
Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.
He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me β€˜how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)
Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6β€²s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.
Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like β€˜Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied β€˜yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'
Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.
On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.
I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.
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30/03
STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.
I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.
Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?
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1/04/20
I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)
Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.
Ay ayoko na.
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5/4/20
Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.
Urgh.
Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.
I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?
Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.
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6/4/20
Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??
I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.
From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol
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8/4/20
So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.
But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent πŸ˜‚
Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.
Will I be over you by then?
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10/04/20
Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.
I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...
I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.
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11/04/20
So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 πŸ˜‚ it is actually hilarious πŸ˜‚ I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.
Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.
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13/04/20
Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.
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14/04/20
Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??
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18/04/20
Argh why did I dream of him again?
We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.
Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.
So I just thanked him and watched him leave.
Aish why did I dream of you again???
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20/4/20
Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.
Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.
Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?
Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.
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23/04/20
Another day, another Chad dream.
So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.
I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.
Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.
WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.
It is honestly annoying. 😭
I just wanna move on.
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27/04/20
Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.
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28/04/20
Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!
Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.
Ugh I hate overthinking this!!
Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.
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6/05/20
Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.
If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko πŸ˜‚ Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work πŸ˜‚ They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]
Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker πŸ˜‚
(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs πŸ˜‚)
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13/05/20
It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.
Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.
Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS πŸ˜‚
But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.
I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows πŸ˜‚
I need more time to heal but it will be okay!
Update 14/5:
I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.
Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!
Chad please go away from my feelings 😩
15/5
Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.
He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.
Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous πŸ˜‚ 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos πŸ˜‚ honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please πŸ˜‚ don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me πŸ˜‚
Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭
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17/5/20
Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.
Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.
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18/5/20
Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.
Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.
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20/5/20
Another day of helping him out....
Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.
Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭
But after I helped him, this was his reply:
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Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭
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21/05/20
Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....
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26/05/20
He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.
Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.
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27/05/20
As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.
His response:
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Hahaha cute πŸ˜‚ so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.
He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.
Then when I completed it, this was his reply:
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Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" πŸ˜‚ para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos
BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH
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5/6/20
So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.
Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚).
Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. πŸ˜‚
That was it haha.
But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.
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15/06/20
So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.
Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"
And that made me kilig inside. πŸ˜‚
I am awesome, chos! πŸ˜‚
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16/06/20
Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays πŸ˜‚
Lol fam watchu gonna do? πŸ˜‚
Tara let's go on a date chos πŸ˜‚
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24/06/20
I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy
Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha
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3/07/20
Yo wassup.
I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.
Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday πŸ˜‚ it was weird πŸ˜‚
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12/07/20
Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.
He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....
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14/07/20
So today, I was overthinking again.
Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?
Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya
Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa
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19/07/2020
So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.
Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.
Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.
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08/08/20
Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him πŸ˜‚ argh I just want to be with him πŸ˜‚
He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos πŸ˜‚
Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚
Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu
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16/08/20
So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)
I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.
I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.
She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.
So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.
Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.
I'll let you know if there's progress.
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19/08/2020
So today, I helped him out with a case.
One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.
When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji πŸ˜‚ Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay πŸ˜‚
Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.
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9/9/20
So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❀️
Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha
Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.
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13/09/20
So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭
I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭
But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.
MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭
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