#dazai is fully capable of caring about both of them. yes even if he cares about them in different ways | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lnkedmyheart · 1 year

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This is just a random string of thoughts, so I don't think there is gonna be a lot of cohesiveness here anyway.

I don't think people talk enough about how skk are each other's weakest spots. Like yes they are stronger together as a duo but don't actually need each other to be an efficient force to be reckoned with. Like Dazai is a fully capable detective and ex mafioso without Chuuya and Chuuya is a fully capable fighter and strategist without Dazai, the likes that can take on someone like Verlaine. The problem of weaknesses comes in with Dazai's sense of responsibility towards Chuuya. He doesn't need to be told to help Chuuya, he will just go ahead and do it in his own weird convoluted way even when it means putting others on the line. Meanwhile Chuuya needs Dazai in his most vulnerable moments when he no longer has any agency and Chuuya's comfort in that scenario lies in his knowledge that Dazai will be there when that happens. In a scenario where either of them are compromised it becomes a huge risk for the other because Dazai's plans when involving Chuuya are heavily reliant on his blind belief that Chuuya will show up to do his part and read Dazai and his schemes like an open book and Chuuya's belief that Dazai will stop him. And they know EVERYTHING about each other and any knowledge they have can be used against the other. And this is an established pattern from 15 to 22 so I wonder what is happening in the current arc because I don't think Dazai really intends to make it out of Meursault alive and Fyodor is using Chuuya specifically because Chuuya is Dazai's major weakness when compromised. If Chuuya were the one to kill him it will be a blow in many ways because not only is Dazai's biggest asset turning on him, Fyodor has seen Dazai physically care for him twice post corruption. So yea Dazai supposedly drowning Chuuya can be to throw Fyodor off since Dazai knows everything about Chuuya and so definitely knew Chuuya is a good swimmer and his whole weird confession of their bind before snapping out if it seems more like an apology.

What I'm saying is both of skk are compromised rn, Chuuya is supposedly still under Bram's control and on his way to kill Dazai, Dazai has seemingly turned on Chuuya but is also at his most suicidal and is badly injured. So I wonder...

Whatever happens next is either gonna establish skk's trust and dynamic further or completely destroy whatever their bond is. Considering their bond is repeatedly stated to be unbreakable and their trust is proven repeatedly to be undying it would be interesting to see either way.

#soukoku #not exactly a ship post

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hamliet · 5 years

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Messy, Perfect Redemption: Dazai

My least favorite trope in fiction is probably redemption via death. It just seldom works for the best possible story and more often than not comes across as an author wanting to take the easy way out with having now made the audience like the character, but not having to deal with the repercussions with their relationships with other characters and actual work of changing. Which honestly is also fair. Writing is hard.

But one of the things I love about Bungou Stray Dogs is how the entire story is basically Dazai’s redemption arc in all its disastrous messy glory. Redemption is hard, becoming a better person is exhausting and it doesn’t happen overnight. Despite an often cavalier attitude towards everyone around him, Dazai never loses sight of Odasaku’s last words to him.

"Listen. You told me that you might find a reason to live if you lived in a world of violence and bloodshed. You won't find it. You must know that already. Whether you're on the side who kills people or the side who saves people, nothing beyond what you would expect will appear. Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander the darkness for eternity. (...) Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... but that'd make you at least a little bit better. (...) Of course I know. I know better than anyone. Because... I am your friend."

Leaving the mafia and deciding to save people from now on is a good step, but it’s a process, as we see. It’s choosing every day to save orphans, to protect the weak, and even after making the overall choice to become a better man, there are still plenty of struggles along the way. It’s what makes Dazai such a compelling, powerful and ultimately hopeful character for me.

I know Atsushi is often seen as representing Dazai’s second chance after Akutagawa, his redemption in a sense, and that’s not wrong at all. Atsushi is definitely a major, even the main, part of it, but in my opinion it’s not the whole of it. Dazai’s mentoring of Atsushi is a double-edged sword: on the one hand, it absolutely is a part of his redemption. He’s genuinely trying to do his best with Atsushi, and I do think he cares for him--clearly, he cares enough to let himself be captured by the mafia, even.

On the other hand, ignoring a kid you hurt for a kid you didn't is not redemption in and of itself when you could still do something about it. It’s not like Akutagawa has given up on Dazai in any way; he’s pretty desperate for Dazai’s acknowledgement even now.

If saving one requires you to abandon the other, are you really a better person for it ? Like, if you wanna save orphans, you kinda have to include the one who's literally begging you to save him and who is only in this bad place because of you.

If joining the agency would have redeemed Dazai, we wouldn’t have a story, though again I’m not minimizing the importance of this or the resonance of Dazai’s mentoring of Atsushi. But in joining the agency, Dazai left someone behind--more than one someones, actually. Dazai’s redemption is a process that will require him to face the harm he caused in the mafia and as much as possible, fix it. And he can’t fully redeem himself until he integrates with his shadow. Unlike Atsushi whose shadow is directly personified in Akutagawa, though, Dazai’s is in several other people (we could also consider Odasaku and Atsushi part of the anima), including Akutagawa, Chuuya, Dostoyevsky, and Mori.

Even the next time Dazai saves an orphan (Kyouka), we find out that a lot of the cruel ways Akutagawa trained her came from how Dazai trained him.

It’s a consequence coming back to Dazai that his mentee decides to save a child trapped in the mafia whom everyone wants to give up on, a child whose been through the same training he forced Akutagawa into (which I should remind you includes a canonical mock execution). The difficulties of saving Kyouka are probably exactly why Dazai took so long to make baby steps towards Akutagawa. But to his credit, while he’s not exactly compassionate with Kyouka while she’s imprisoned, Dazai does save her. If mentoring a kid on the verge of turning into a criminal is the first step to reconciling with his mafia self, then Dazai’s helping save Kyouka is the next one.

However, he doesn’t fully understand the cruelties of he did to Akutagawa, as shown in how he mocks him after his capture by repeating Akutagawa’s worst fears to him:

I know Dazai’s playing a long game with setting up Atsushi and Akutagawa’s partnership in shin soukoku, but the ends don’t always justify the means and that’s a lesson often shown to us in BSD (it’s in part the reason Dazai left the mafia; he couldn’t buy that Oda’s death was justifiable because it got rid of Mimic and got the Port Mafia their black ticket). This type of triggering really isn’t okay. Like I said here, Dazai is in part the cause of Atsushi and Akutagawa’s struggles to get along, and he should be part of reconciling that schism as well.

I know while some people are annoyed that fans call a person two years older than someone else their father figure, but the manga itself draws this comparison and codes Dazai/Atsushi and Dazai/Akutaqawa as a mentor/mentee relationship which is 99% of the time coded as parental in literature (and it definitely is here). Akutagawa literally draws the comparison himself between his relationship with Dazai and Atsushi’s with his abusive orphanage headmaster. Yes, Akutagawa’s making some logical jumps here (refusing to acknowledge that Dazai is just as much Atsushi’s mentor as his), but the manga wants us to make this comparison.

As Atsushi wasn’t able to reconcile his frustration and hurt towards the orphanage headmaster, he’ll probably do so through Akutagawa and through Dazai, because Atsushi’s view of Dazai is basically that he’s already redeemed and fantastic and justified in his choices--again, I know Atsushi complains about his irresponsibility sometimes, but it’s mostly played as a joke and isn’t a serious critique of just how he treated Akutagawa, despite Atsushi hating Akutagawa for how he treated Kyouka (take that train of thought a little further, Atsushi).

But onto Dazai’s other relationships. It’s telling that Dazai is at his most unrestrained and violent in the mafia when he partners with Chuuya, who despite being very restrained thanks to him being capable of uninhibited destruction that would lead to his own death without said restraint, knows who Dazai is and what he’s capable of from the very beginning (he’s so much as seen Dazai murder the orphans who comprise the Sheep even after promising Chuuya he wouldn't). Kunikida is Chuuya’s foil in that he works most closely with Dazai in the agency and is perpetually ready to strangle him, but Kunikida is also incredibly principled and restrained--yet he is significantly the only member of the agency who, prior to the Guild Arc, did not know Dazai used to be in the mafia.

Kunikida’s ideals including saving everyone if possible. Both Chuuya and Kunikida represent these two extremes of what Dazai is capable of--and yet notably both of them care about saving children and are in many ways more compassionate people than Dazai.

The one time we see Chuuya talk about killing a kid is with Q, who notably is introduced to us as another child with the soukoku partnership team-up.

Q, a child with half-dark hair and half-white hair (gee I wonder what that symbolizes) is a child made to curse the world and hate ever being born. Chuuya and Dazai team up to save him but contemplate killing him.

Dazai’s choice not to kill Q is stated to be to save himself, which is probably is, but it’s also symbolic of how Dazai’s saving other people is saving himself (and also ties back to another quote Odasaku liked to repeat from Natsume: “everyone exists to save themselves”).

But Chuuya’s motivation, as I wrote before, is because he’s grieved over the loss of his comrades. Chuuya really cares about people, including Dazai, and the fact that Dazai is actually going to far as to model Atsushi and Akutagawa’s team-up on his team-up with Chuuya pretty strongly implies Dazai doesn’t hate Chuuya as much as he says he does. To be able to truly leave the mafia, he has to make peace with those relationships there. It’s part of being honest with himself: like Atsushi, acknowledging the darker shadows, and like Akutagawa, acknowledging the better parts of him too.

At present, Dostoyevsky proves a perfect foil for Dazai, as @linkspooky has written here. They’re the same in a lot of ways, but Dostoyevsky has allowed nihilism and a god complex to completely consume him and is not trying to be human, whereas Dazai still tries to save people and was devastated by Oda’s death. Dostoyevsky’s ability, whatever it was, works by touching someone like Dazai’s, but since Dazai’s No Longer Human negates another’s abilities, Dazai is the only person on which Fyodor’s ability will not work, making them the perfect counters for each other. Dostoyevsky is what Dazai could be if his feelings of alienation from human society (a prominent theme in the real life Dostoyevsky’s works) were taken to their utmost extreme, and so it’d be fitting for him to ultimately defeat Fyodor through the relationships he does have (including Atsushi and Akutagawa).

To return to Odasaku, Odasaku is also kind of a warning to Dazai as much as he is a man Dazai wants to become like. When Odasaku lost the orphans under his care, he fell into complete despair and knowingly embarked on a suicide mission to do what Mori wanted him to. Still, Dazai tried to save him. He wasn’t able to save his life, but Odasaku’s death saved Dazai. Yet it’s potentially concerning that Mori used Odasaku’s human connections to engineer his downfall, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Mori uses Dazai’s to try to engineer his downfall later on (like, way, way on).

The difference is that Dazai is a good foil to Mori, too, in understanding what makes people tick and always thinking several moves ahead. Mori groomed Dazai from the age of like fourteen (or younger) to be his successor in the mafia, manipulating his suicidal tendencies and hopelessness to get what Mori wanted from him. It’s telling that the earliest we have of Dazai is him with Mori, in that Mori instead of caring for a suicidal patient decided to take him along to murder the mafia’s boss and induct him into the mafia thereby. The thing about Jungian stories is that there are often some Oedipal tendencies to them--like, for example, a character needs to overcome/break away from completely/kill their father. I can see Dazai at some point having to overcome Mori and his influence to cement his arc, but that’s highly speculative (yet fits with Mori’s build up as a villain), so we’ll see.

#bsd meta #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #shin soukoku #akutagawa ryunosuke #nakajima atsushi #oda sakunosuke #mori ougai #fyodor dostoyevsky #izumi kyouka #nakahara chuuya #bsd theory

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scarlet-nin · 4 years

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To Fix What’s Broken Is Not Enough

Summary: The first time Dazai sees Yosano, hears how she speaks, the way she threatens her patients into submitting to her care with the promise of a smile, the steel in his grin melts into quicksilver, a poison so potent flowing through his veins he can taste the bitterness of metal on his lips.

The first time Yosano lays eyes upon Dazai all it takes is a smile.

One smile for the warning bells inside her head to shriek alarm.

The first time Dazai sees Yosano, hears how she speaks, the way she threatens her patients into submitting to her care with the promise of a smile, the steel in his grin melts into quicksilver, a poison so potent flowing through his veins he can taste the bitterness of metal on his lips.

His heart misses a beat. The walls he spent years on building fall together like a house of cards in the summer breeze as deep inside his chest something blooms from beyond the ice, a flower. Fragile like the fluttering wings of a butterfly it festers.

“I can’t wait to treat you.”

She says, eyes glinting in the dim-light of the office with a leer for blood after he’s gotten the courage to move past the roots having taken to his legs to speak with her. A curtain of dark hair falling into her face is a sharp contrast to her paperwhite skin. Eyes fierce as they puncture into his own, scraping past the surface of his face with her scalpel to tear off his mask without mercy. The sight of her pristine coat of righteousness laying on her shoulders, imposing with its demand for respect. A coat to call her own. Just like him. A white to his black.

“Seeing all of these bandages…you’re going to end up sooner in my office rather than later. My new regular. It’ll be like unwarping a present.”

The moment passes. His head clears of the smoke obscuring his vision, the flower wilting inside his heart. Petals dropping into acid.

Her image bleeds into another one, twisting once more before the pieces click into place, creating a picture so vivid inside his mind he makes the mistake to smile in her presence.

Yosano stills, losing her sharp edges, the stubborn crease in her brow smoothing out in a single fluid movement as the shock sweeps her along to crush her against the rocks of the ocean.

She sees his shadow in all his twisted glory draped across his shoulders like the coat he used to wear. The invisible hands pulling up the corners of his mouth as elbows settle on his shoulders, the weight of the devil hard to bear.

Part of him wants to cover his eye, shield himself from having to see her. The urge to disregard Odasaku’s last act of life pushes his thoughts into the right order.

“What a pretty lady! Too bad you’re not my type.”

He whines, clutching at his chest. A doctor is dangerous. Always, regardless of ability. Whether man or woman. The sight of them is enough to stir the horrible apprehension of weariness inside his soul.

She blinks, scoffs and shakes her head. He wonders if she knows. Of the doll. How her existence shaped another.

She’s a replica. An inspiration. A faceless base of bottomless horror.

The memory of her skips around in the ghost of a little girl in a red frilly dress. Draws pictures of nightmares as she bosses around and feeds into the delusional born out of loneliness for companionship of a man loving nothing but a city cursing his name in the shadows of the night.

Would she disappear if he were to touch her?

“No, I guess I wouldn’t be.”

She storms past him, heels resonating like gunshots across the office as she slams her door shut with enough strength to rattle the frame.

Off to a bad start, then.

The first time Yosano lays eyes upon Dazai all it takes is a smile.

One smile for the warning bells inside her head to shriek alarm. Head buzzing as she reels back from this demon in human skin, terror is sinking into every crack of her handcrafted armor, slipping past the stiches she made to keep herself together. He rips them open with the sharp edge of his empty smile, eyes darker than the blackest abyss and leaves her to bleed out.

Veins freezing it’s the first time she doubts the President’s judgment. He let death walk in the door with a smile. Despite all the warning signs. This man will be the death for them, either by extension or his own hands.

After all, it’s in the nature of the student to surpass the teacher.

But she keeps her mouth shut and her eyes open. Kunikida plays with fire, throwing around a ticking time bomb while being none the wiser of the possible consequences. Dazai whines and acts more like a big child than an adult most of the time. Doesn’t spare her more than a glance in parting as they avoid each other. He flirts with the older women walking into their office doors and after months of observation her conviction falters.

The comment about her age might not have been about her age at all.

She doesn’t know how young or old he must have been when Mori sunk his claws into him.

All she knows is he smiles like the devil but acts like a fool.

His plans are a handiwork of her worst nightmare. Functional without major casualties or injuries. Efficient. The extent of his grasp on their reactions despite working in the office for only a few weeks is terrifying. An impressive display of pulling the strings. A master manipulator at his finest.

Another Mori. This time right among their midst.

As long as the blood staining his hands isn’t the Agency’s, she could put her grudge aside.

Perhaps even her fear.

The doll and the doctor. Two parts of a whole man.

As the doll, Dazai is void of feeling. Having no sense of wanting nor of happiness, he plays his act with little regard to the well-being of others. No matter how hard he tries, the lives of faceless people dying doesn’t bother him on a personal level.

Not like it does Yosano. Full of will and a passion to save the lives put in front of her with a world of pain and a simple touch of her hand. She breathes life into them, Dazai takes it away.

“Can you undress them?”

“I’d rather not.” Alone in her office with the smell of her personal perfume of disinfectant he tries his best to be compliant.

She frowns, a hint of annoyance creeping into her face as she turns to face him.

“How am I supposed to fix you? I’m fully capable of doing so without the use of my ability.”

“I can do that myself.”

The chance of her giving in due to knowing who must have taught him what little first-aid he knows is slim. But she nods, snapping her head to the side while gesturing to the door without another demand for him to undress.

“Get out of my office.”

“Yes, Mam.”

He winks, the beat of his pulse drowning out his the one in his heart. He flees, ignoring Kunikida’s yell to rest when he’s staying home tomorrow and to call in sick instead of worrying them.

The stiches he does on his arm are messy, a bit uneven and throb painfully but as long as he doesn’t have to be a prisoner to the infirmary, he’ll patch himself up in his apartment, locked into the tiny space of his bathroom with no doctor looming over him.

“You don’t like doctors at all, do you?”

There’s a faint hysteria of laughter hidden in her voice. She’s sure Dazai catches it anyway, judging from the tightness around his eyes, lips going white with the force it takes to keep his smile in place.

“No, sorry, can’t say that I do.”

The cheer in his words is nothing but a lie. She can see the truth in the faint tremor in his hand, the too short breaths in his pattern. The notion of what it means is reducing her to shaky hands, unfit to treat any person until she’s calmed down. It’s absurd. The thought of Dazai being afraid of her, when she’s been scared of him this entire time, is laughable. Or perhaps wary would be the better word to use in this odd case.

Neither one making a step. Not daring to cross an invisible line drawn into the sand by their own hands. Both too afraid to inflict a different kind of Mori’s wrath on themselves.

Dazai with his effortless manipulation could have torn the office apart if he wanted to. He didn’t for reasons Yosano is starting to grasp. Her danger lies in her authority as the doctor. Her words carry more weight in the Agency than his own. At least in concern to his health and she knows how easy it would be to spin a tale to her liking. Her word was law and if she wanted to make his treatment painful, he could do little to complain or protest.

Studying the bandages concealing the skin from her sight, she’s grateful her ability does not work on him. Like throwing a glass against the wall, he would break in the light of resurrection. While Dazai’s mind is his biggest weapon, the additional strain on top of having to shoulder the weight of his misery would have ruined him.

Ruined him like Mori ruined her.

“Can’t fault you for that. Some doctors are shit at their job.”

She says, the smile on her face honest and soft as she holds out her hand for him. The wound isn’t life-threatening so she isn’t going to hurry him.

“Want me to take a look at that now? If I wrap it up quick, I can give you something for the pain. I’d give it to you before, but you could run off afterwards. So, think about it as a treat.”

Slowly, he puts his arm out. She’s careful with her hands, touches feather light if she hasn’t had to use force. As if he were a child she works with quick hands, aware of how painfully stiff he is.

“I felt like I should have given you a warning. A shovel talk if you will. About messing with the Agency but I doubt I’ll have to do that at all. I’m not too prideful to admit you could run circles around my head.”

Giving him a grin full of teeth, she warps the cut up, keeping the pressure as light as she can before giving him a pill for the pain. He blinks, eyes wide as he looks from his newly warped arm to glance at her face.

“We’re done if that’s all. You’re free to leave or you can lay down here for awhile if you want to rest. Try to raid my medicine cupboard while I’m on lunchbreak and I’ll put you on paperwork duty for at least two months.”

She pats him on the shoulder before turning around with a flap of her skirt to clean her equipment. Dazai waits for a moment before stands and leaves, hesitating at the door like he might have wanted to say something but he remains silent.

Dazai, she learns is not an enemy, but a kindred spirit.

Yosano, Dazai learns, is a doctor who works to heal her patients. Her aim is not to fix them, to glue shards back together so they could break again and be shaped into something functional and exploitable, but to care. Her personal gain is of no importance in her job. Her motivator is compassion. Nothing more, nothing less.

Her touch is too kind for a doctor. Ruthless as she may be with an audience, the pain she inflicts is for the greater good of the person. The occasional revenge put aside.

Healing is more than just skin deep. Yosano lives by those words. So, he lets her patch him up, uses her to slack off during working hours and calls her when he needs someone to get himself out of hospital.

The doctor and the doll are so similar, no wonder they share a soul. Both hating their ability for the effects on others. Two people knowing the meaning of death.

The Angel of Death prevents death. The Demon Prodigy inflicts it.

Therefore, it’s only fitting he’s the one to return to hell. To Mori, who has more use for another doll than for a healer as a doctor.

“Dazai-kun,” The devil coos, eyes filled with blood.

After all, an angel has no business in hell.

“—Welcome back to the Port Mafia.”

But a demon can conquer the throne.

#bungou stray dogs #mori ougai #Dazai Osamu #yosano akiko #bsd fanfic #scarlet-writes #angst

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hnnnfdfds · 5 years

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Candy Wrappings

A short Ranatsu story!

———

Tanizaki stares at the open book on Atsushi’s table, eyes full of confusion. It’s the same brown, worn-out book the other carries around a lot, earning him the curiosity of almost every agency member and even a few mafia members.

He’s never seen it open before though.

In fact, Atsushi outright refuses to open it or answer questions regarding the book. All they get is a small smile and a shake of his head as he tells them, “I don’t feel comfortable sharing its contents just yet.”

And whilst they all possess an immense curiosity—they are detectives, duh—they also know when to stop their teasings and step back; the book, after all, is the one Atsushi treats with a great amount of care. They know better than to harm him with it. Even the mafia members seem to lay low on the book—Akutagwa hasn’t even tried to touch it when fighting against Atsushi or just verbally arguing. There are just some lines you shouldn’t overstep, that’s common courtesy.

So, to see the book fully open, displaying its whole content to the wandering eyes of the agency members, is not something Tanizaki has ever thought would happen.

Actually, a feeling of worry and anxiety seems to build in the pit of his stomach. The book’s open. Atsushi was never careless enough to let his precious book lay around, especially not open. Someone must have taken it then! That conclusion alone makes him feel a boiling rage. Who would open the book his friend treats with the utmost care and importance? Who would break that unspoken rule to not touch said book as respect towards Atsushi? The rule that not even Akutagawa breaks.

It’s then that he hears the humming sound coming from behind him and he whips around to stare at Dazai entering the office, followed closely by Kunikida.

Of course, he doesn’t want to just randomly accuse someone of such an atrocity. Notably not Dazai, who is the mentor of the owner of the book. Everyone in the agency knows that Dazai would never breach the trust that Atsushi lies upon him so carelessly. In fact, it’s pretty clear that Dazai finds significance in Atsushi’s vehement trust.

But still, who else would be capable of getting the book from Atsushi and leaving it open for prying eyes? Atsushi guards the book with his fierce attention, doesn’t leave it out of his sight so it must have been someone who was able to get past that scrutiny.

“Dazai,” he speaks up, gulping as he stares in those eerie brown orbs, ”was it you?”

Dazai blinks, tilting his head to the side. “Ohh, are you accusing me of something, dear Tanizaki?”

Tanizaki can’t help but shudder at the apathetic grin forming on the erstwhile mafioso’s face. Before he can reply, Kunikida speaks up, “What happened?”

He sighs, stepping aside to let them look at the open book. Both stare in shock at the familiar book. Dazai doesn’t hesitate to step closer and pick up the book, narrowing his eyes. It’s at that moment that Tanizaki knows it for sure; Dazai isn’t the one at fault. In fact, he’s foolish to believe even for a second, that Dazai would disregard Atsushi’s feelings like that

A few seconds of silence pass before Dazai sighs and closes the book. “Well, I didn’t expect Atsushi to collect candy wrappers but I should have seen it coming, I suppose.”

“What do we do now?” Tanizaki asks, unsure how to proceed.

“We’ll wait for Atsushi,” Kunikida replies, already sitting down at his table, “after all it’s his book.”

So, they wait, working on their assignments and paperwork—except Dazai, of course—as the rest slowly comes in, sitting down at their own workplaces. Dazai may play around as always but Tanizaki notices the way the man hoards the book.

And then, finally, Atsushi walks in with Kyouka in tow.

Everyone immediately notices how sad he looks, a frown on his face and low eyes. He doesn’t even greet them in his cheerful voice like he usually does.

“Atsushi,” his mentor speaks up, his callous expression shed away to reveal a serious one, “we found your book open on your table.”

Everyone freezes.

The ones who arrived later, gaze in shock at the cherished book in Dazai’s hand, unable to process how he possessed it.

Tanizaki and Kunikida remain calm, focusing on the fact that Dazai didn’t play around and went right away to the matter at hand.

Atsushi clutches his shirt, eyes widening. ��O… open?”

Dazai frowns, a rueful expression on his face. “I fear so.”

Atsushi immediately stalks up to his mentor, takes the book and clutches it to his chest.

Tanizaki steps closer. “It’s fine, Atsu—”

But before he can finish the sentence, Atsushi runs out the door and away. Dazai walks after him, waving his right hand. “I got it.”

———

He probably should have predicted this, but he was careless when he left the book open instead of closing it as he originally wanted to do. He couldn’t help it though, there’s just something nice knowing about the book’s origin and contributing to it.

Especially, since it served as prove of Atsushi's honest feelings towards him. He knows he's great but to have someone being charmed by him to the point of loving him.

That's the ultimate form of affection for him.

And it doesn't help that he returns that form of affection.

Yes, he's in love.

Eating candies, he puts the wrappers in his pocket.

Ranpo plans on giving them to Atsushi when he apologizes for going through his book.

#my stars #bsd #ranatsu #bungou stray dogs

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leonawriter · 5 years

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Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs (pt.18)

Also on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Kyouka.

...

"....What're you doing?"

If he'd asked any of the staff at the orphanage such a question, he would have been ignored, shouted at, or worse. But he was coming to realise that no one here was like that - and there was something about being held and supported by Da-san like that even while Da-san was angry, that made him feel at a level deeper than he could begin to think up the words for, that Da-san would never do any of those things.

So now here he was, the morning after his first proper sleep in days, standing up on his tip-toes to try and see what was going on.

"Kunikida-kun's hounding me for a report on my side of what happened in the past few days," Da-san said, sounding like he was mumbling because he had his arms on the desk and his head on his arms and he wasn't speaking clearly, which was something else the orphanage staff would never have done. "I don't wanna."

"You're going to have to do it sooner or later, and since we're going to be dealing with the mafia because of your actions, I'd prefer sooner."

"Yosano can write it."

"Yosano has already written her report."

"Atsushi-chan... at some point, you're going to have to learn how to write a report of your own. What do you say to starting now?"

Atsushi blinked, eyes going wide at the very real responsibility and barely hearing Kunikida's angry shouting, until he remembered something important.

"But... Da-san, I- I don't... I haven't learned some of these kanji yet..."

"Eh?" Da-san blinked at him, as if he didn't understand. Atsushi blinked back. Da-san lifted up his head, and looked over at Kunikida, and his the look on his face making Atsushi wonder if he'd said something wrong. "Kunikida-kun. He's still learning his kanji."

That was what he'd just said. He'd been keeping up at the same rate as everyone else at the orphanage, even with... everything else... or he'd thought so, at least. Did this mean he should have somehow-

"Of course he is, Dazai," Kunikida was saying, "he should still be in school, but you took care of that-"

Kunikida stopped, and Atsushi jumped at a knock on the door.

...

I saw this kid and the next thing I knew I was running from the place with a kid under my arm, getting into a car and telling the driver to floor it, were the words Chuuya had used to sum up his rescue of Atsushi. Which made the entire event sound more like a theft, or a kidnapping, than a rescue.

In essence, at least as Dazai had seen it, it had been no different from what Odasaku might have done, the way he'd saved those few children from the war zone of the Dragon's Head Conflict.

In the direct aftermath, he hadn't put such words to his actions, still running on a form of adrenaline, expecting - somehow - that sooner or later the problem of who would look after Atsushi now would be taken out of his hands.

He hadn't thought about where Atsushi would stay, other than that he was sure that eventually the boy would be able to control himself, somehow.

He hadn't thought about schooling, barely even remembering his own childhood well enough to know what a child that young would or wouldn't know, only that by the time he'd been fourteen and wanting to die, and Mori had found him, he'd known everything he'd needed to in order to be seen as an asset to the mafia.

He hadn't tensed in the presence of police for over a year now, and yet - here they were, in his place of work, his place of safety, and he...

"Huh? Is this girl... with the Agency?"

There were too many things that could go wrong. Even as the President defended Kyouka's presence, Dazai noticed them looking over in his direction as well, where Atsushi's hand had started to clench tightly onto the overhanging fabric of his waistcoat, as if Atsushi was afraid to be taken away.

"And talking of kids, isn't this the same one who you guys took along to that murder investigation? I thought it was weird back then, that a kid would be out of school like that, but..."

"Atsushi-chan's mine!" Or - at least, that's what he heard himself say, as brightly as he might once have asked his enemies to kindly die, and save him the trouble of killing them. "Isn't that right, Atsushi-chan?"

Atsushi, for his part, nodded without letting go.

...

He sighed as soon as they'd left - perfectly nice people, he was sure, which meant that it was nothing personal at all that he simply didn't want them anywhere near him for the time being. The problem was nowhere near solved, but at least, for the moment, they had a little more time.

Kunikida was staring at him. He had barely stopped staring at him ever since he'd said those words - Atsushi-chan is mine - and it'd only become more obvious once the police had gone and his reaction wasn't going to sabotage Dazai's efforts.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Kunikida, but... he could feel other eyes on him as well.

Overall, it made him feel as though he had just taken his shirt off in the middle of the summer heat, leaving his bandages fully on display - uncomfortable, with the specific sense that people were about to start asking invasive questions.

"Come, Atsushi-chan. We're going out!"

He pushed his chair out and stood, stretching, and reached over for his coat.

"Wait- hey! Dazai, you still haven't written that report!"

"I'm going to be the one to handle most of the relations between the Agency and the mafia anyway, so it's not as if the report can't wait," he called back airily. "So there's no harm in taking Atsushi out for some fresh air while we know no one's going to be coming after him, yes?"

"How do we even know that? And why would you be the one to handle things between the Agency and the mafia in the first place of all people?! Oi, Dazai-"

"If Atsushi-chan is going somewhere, then I'm coming, too," a quiet voice added, Kyouka speaking up for the first time that morning as he went for the door. "Protecting him is the new assignment that Nakahara-san gave me, after all."

"Right, right... ah! I just remembered. This is perfect timing. The report has to wait at least until I've come back! Kyouka-chan, you can be the go-between."

"You can talk to him yourself."

"Only if I absolutely have to."

They leave before Kunikida can ask what he means by that - if he can put off explaining himself for a little while longer, he will - but's only once they're out of the building, having wished Kenji well on his own investigation, and gone halfway down the street when Kyouka asks what they're really out for.

"Several things," he admits to the two children, who are both listening intently to him. "One is to get the rest of the information I was after in the first place. Two, scouting out places that would work as neutral meeting spots, and..."

"And?"

While Kyouka was more than capable of walking along on her own, Atsushi - who up until now had simply held onto his coat - had his hand, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd held the hand of someone so small, and it was enough to make him pause.

Atsushi trusted him. Against everything that everyone else had said, that one thing - and Odasaku's words still echoing in the back of his mind - was enough to make him not let go, and simply adjust his grip.

"Books!" Atsushi's eyes lit up, which was a good sign. "We need to find some that are Atsushi-friendly." He could hardly just leave his own favourite books just lying around, either.

Then again, it wasn't like he knew what sort of books children of Atsushi's age tended to read; the only children in his general age group he'd come into contact with had been... Elise, and Q. And neither of those two could exactly be considered a benchmark for a normal child under any circumstances, which aside from the entire tiger issue, Atsushi was.

The three of them are halfway into their third bookshop when a car alarm goes off in the distance, and then a loud noise, followed by several other loud noises. Kyouka's hand is inching toward her blade when another alarm joins the first.

"Nothing to worry about," Dazai says, hand on Atsushi's shoulder when he realises the boy has tensed up. "Kenji-kun was heading out around the time we were, so he's probably just finishing up around now."

"That's... finishing up?"

"You shouldn't underestimate the Detective Agency, Kyouka-chan."

"I... see."

"Now, how about this one?"

The contemplative look on her face vanishes, replaced by a slight frown.

"You can't just get Atsushi-chan books that have tigers on them, Dazai-san."

"Hm, you're right. It is the wrong colour."

He puts the book back, and picks out another one, this time with a properly white tiger.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd stuff #dadzai au #Leona fic

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