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aclowntiny · 1 year

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How Enhypen Confess To You

(1/7 of this fic sponsored by my love of Day6 lol. Also, this is your daily reminder: don’t give ducks bread 🦆😆)

Jungwon

♡ The two of you had gone for a walk in the park, Jungwon having had a free day and not wanted to waste even the smallest piece of the precious spring beauty.

♡ At least that’s how it began. After a stroll beneath the blossoms, the two of you wended your way down the hilly green trails that led to the pond and tossed grape halves to the ducks that paddled around there. From there, you crossed to an open expanse of hills, the occasional couple and family dotting the wide green. You chatted, then Jungwon was lightly teasing you, and somehow in the shine of sun and mirth he started chasing you along one of the hills.

♡ You ran, giggling, and Jungwon was caught up in the joy of the perfect day. His foot caught as he ran, sending him stumbling forward. Before he could faceplant into the grass, though, you reached out and caught him by the collar of his cardigan, holding him steady and stepping closer to right him.

♡ “You’re my hero, (y/n),” he told you with a grin. “I’m just glad I was here to save you,” you replied with a joyous look of your own, “I think we were having a bit too much fun.” Jungwon paused, biting his lip with a bit of hesitance before he spoke. “I always have too much fun when I’m with you. Being with you, well…it just feels right.”

♡ “That’s exactly how I feel, Jungwon.” His smile widens, revealing the dimples you love, and his eyes drift down to your hand, which is still clutching his collar. Embarrassment flicks across your face, but is quickly eclipsed by mischief as you tug him toward your lips.

Heeseung

♡ He doesn’t think he should confess, frankly, because he’s scared of messing things with you and the guys up, so the rest of Enhypen decides to force his hand because there’s no way you guys don’t both like each other.

♡ They all hype up using one of their days off to go see a movie, all eight of them. Jay says he’s heard good reviews, Riki and Sunoo say they can’t wait to see it, Jungwon thinks it’ll be great bonding time for you eight. Then when Heeseung and you arrive at the theatres early just like the whole group chat planned, none of them are there.

♡ Seeing him as the most trustworthy, Heeseung texts Jungwon to see what's up, apologizing to you as he does so. "I'm so sorry, I'm not sure what's wrong with everybody." Ding.

Yang Jungwon: Oh, we aren't going, we all got...called in for a doctor’s appointment! ㅎ ㅎ Enjoy your date :3

Me: What? Was this all part of your little plan? It isn't a date if we don't both agree and think of it as one.

Yang Jungwon: Then make it one 😼

♡ "I'm sorry," Heeseung sighs, apologizing once more in a calm voice despite his internal monologue being ready to punch all of his dongsaengs, "now it looks like they're dropping the ball. Something about doctor's appointments or something. If you want to call it off, I understand." Your look of concern melted into incredulity. "No one's sick or hurt, are they?" Not until I'm through with them. "No, not really, I don't think." "Then as long as you don't have to leave," you say with a smile, "why would we have to cancel? I for one am really glad to be able to spend more time with you." The earnest way you speak, your pretty smile and the pleased tilt of your lips, it's all too much for Heeseung. You just sound so sincere, maybe, just maybe, this can be a date. If he doesn't try, he'll regret it for the rest of his life.

♡ "I am, too. Glad that I get to spend more time with you, that is. The truth is, (y/n), that I like you." "I like you too!" You reply brightly, leaning closer into his side as his jaw drops. "You do? The others were right then..." He pulls you into his side, chuckling. "Well, in that case, I'll tell you the truth: they bailed because they wanted me to make this a date." "If that was what it took," you joked, linking your arm with Heeseung's, "I'd have cancelled one of our plans long ago."

Jay

♡ Jay's torn. What's the best way to show someone you really care? A grand gesture, showing them you'd go out of your way for them and spoiling them with the appreciation they deserve. What's the safest way to make your feelings known without the pain of a long, hard, detailed rejection? Just slipping their object a little line that might go over their head.

♡ He practically practices the line more than the outing, convinced having the perfect one is more make-or-break than your destination, which you two would enjoy almost no matter what. He could ask 'wanna kiss?', then have a couple Hershey's in his bag as backup if you were grossed out. But that was a bit too forward maybe? It needed to be something between a compliment and a cheap pickup phrase.

♡ You arrive at the art gallery, the place where Jay had reserved entry tickets and invited you to stroll through with him. He has to smile at the sight of you dressed in a black outfit that was perfectly your style... and accidentally complimentary to his own dark-hued look. "Hey, we match!" You beat him to the punch as you greeted him with a hug, smiling wider at the fond look he gave you as you pulled away. At the thought of you two resembling a couple, Jay’s fondness intensifies. “We sure do.”

♡ You’re strolling past a section of Victorian art, landscapes and beautiful portraits alike. Every now and again, you tug on Jay’s sleeve, pointing him towards one that really speaks to you with sparkling eyes that have him subconsciously leaning into you that much more, far more taken by that than anything a paintbrush can create. His jacket brushes your cheek at one point, a flush of admiration creeping to his face at the adorable way you crinkle your nose.

♡ “You know where the prettiest work of art here is?” Jay suddenly asks you after a few minutes of taking in a gorgeous floral still-life. “Where?” You ask, head suddenly snapping up like you could beat him to finding it. Shaking his own head, Jay motions to you. “Right here.” If you laugh it off, he’ll back off, he thinks. But instead you turn your head away shyly. “I didn’t know you thought that,” you replied quietly. “I do,” Jay insists, craning his neck to look more directly at you. “And here I thought you were more handsome than any statue we saw today,” you added more boldly, and Jay was practically ready to faint. He settled for yanking you into a kiss before you could see his blush, though.

Jake

♡ You’re the most amazing person Jake has ever met, so you deserve to be told that, shown that & then some. What to do, though, that would capture it?

♡ Learn a song to serenade you with, that’s what!!! What captures how Jake is feeling, and how he wants you to know that even if it’s hard, you can say no? Day6’s 좋아합니다 (I Like You) is what he settles on, the words shaking him to his core when he listens to it, realizing it’s exactly what he wants to say to you. It feels like they wrote it for that moment. He wants to love you, but he doesn’t want to lose you, either.

♡ He practices every day that he can, learning a rendition on his guitar to back up the lyrics, which he pours his heart into every time. Finally, he tells you he wants to show you something, pulling you aside and readying his guitar as he gives you the most emotion-filled performance yet. Your hands are reaching for your quickly beating heart by the time Jake is finished, your voice faltering as it gushes praises for his beautiful performance.

♡ "H- have you ever felt like that, (y/n)?" Jake suddenly asks, head tilting as he looks away, running a hand through the hair falling at the back of his neck. "Yes," you reply quietly with a nod. Even as his gaze drops, your eyes follow his, much steadier than your words. "Well, me too. You're one of the best friends I've had, so I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but I just had to tell you somehow how amazing you are. You're just a great person and you make me happy. Would you ever consider being more than friends?"

♡ "Yes," you repeated, this time a bit louder, "I thought my heart was going to explode because you were singing exactly how I feel about you! Yes, yes, I would!" Jake leapt off the stool he'd sat on to play you his song, running to stand by you and take the hand that was pressed over your heart in his with a few lighthearted taps. "No exploding! No exploding!" You giggled at his sweet voice and cute expression, feeling warmth rise to your cheeks. "How can it not when you do that?"

Sunghoon

♡ Bro it is a total accident 💀 leave it to Sunghoon’s luck…but also apparently do actually because it gets him to confess to you 👀

♡ It all started on Enhypen’s and your game night. Heeseung was all geared up to destroy Jungwon, Sunoo, and Riki at Mario Kart while the rest of you had somehow gotten entangled in a game of Monopoly, and we all know how that goes!

♡ “I’m the ultimate businessman,” Jay remarked, “so I’m going to win this!” “You never know,” Sunoo contested, “with my luck I might beat you!” “So you guys are just ignoring me?” Jake teased, turning away in mock offense. “That’s cool. That’s fine. You’ll all see. What about you, Sunghoon? Are you going to win or are you going to let (y/n) win?” Jake asked, turning Sunghoon’s way with a nod of the head towards you. After a brief, barely perceptible dagger-glare Jake’s way, Sunghoon responded, managing to cover his pounding heart with a “Well, we’ll just have to see, huh?”

♡ When you start playing, though, for all of Sunoo and the J-boys’ talk, you’re the one accruing wealth at the fastest rate, having gotten multiple chances at expensive properties that really stabbed everyone for toll. Jay, wanting to take you down, told Sunghoon the moment he had a chance to buy one off of you. “Ruin (y/n)’s chances of winning,” he urged. “Are you really going to destroy my empire now?” You mock-pouted, and to your faint surprise Sunghoon relented immediately, determined stare softening back up. “No, I like you too much to do that.”

♡ The game piece you were holding (the dog, of course, for Sunghoon made sure to sneak it by you so you had your favorite) tumbled out of your hand. “You like me too?” Sunghoon froze, eyes darting between the fallen pewter scotty and your slowly fading smile. Your own gaze started to fall from him…wait, you thought- “I do! I really do!” He blurted out in a panic before you thought he misunderstood. When your smile came back, he reached down, picked up your game piece, and pressed it into your hand. Taking the piece slowly, your hands brushing with his, you looked at him with triumphant joy. He finished his turn immediately, letting his hand creep over to yours when you righted your piece again, attention far from Monopoly. “Jake was right. I’m so letting you win.”

Sunoo

♡ No matter when he does it, where Sunoo confesses how he feels about you, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s a moment that’ll be captured forever in his memory.

♡ That thought gets his mental gears turning just as they turn trying to confirm he has a chance with you, working until they hatch a plan that makes him happy enough to burst into a smile just walking down the hall at work.

♡ “Hey, we’ve never done this before- let’s try it!” Looking up, you follow Sunoo’s pointing hand across the lane to lock your gaze on a photo booth. It was your first time hanging out since the idea had come to him, so he chose your venue wisely. Luckily you agreed immediately, eagerly pulling him into the booth and pulling out money to deposit into the machine.

♡ For the first shot, you did bunny ears on top of Sunoo’s head with your index and middle fingers while he did a flower pose, smile full as he laughed at your teasing pose and admired your smile. In the second, you made normal smiles as you each put a hand out, forming a heart shape. The timer started counting down, so you turned to Sunoo to ask what you should do next, only to be met with a dreamy look in his lovely amber eyes. “I like you,” he said. Your hands flew up by your face, barely able to obscure the massive smile that spread across it. Click. The camera went off right as you reacted, but you barely regarded it.

♡ The last shot on the strip, neither of you were really looking at the camera, you least off all as you were turned, eyes fluttering shut, lips pressed to Sunoo’s cheek. Just as the thought had echoed across his mind, he truly captured the moment forever and ever, each of you carrying a copy that you could hold and reminisce on for the rest of your lives.

Ni-Ki

♡ He wants everything to be perfect, so by golly it will be 😤

♡ Step One? He’s inviting you to your favorite place, be it a cute café or a full-on restaurant, you will be meeting him there. Step Two is procuring the flowers he will be presenting you with as you walk in.

♡ Which you eventually do, literally taking Riki’s breath away with how you make even the simplest of outfits look amazing and the way your smile holds a perfect day’s rising sun.

♡ Your mouth falls open at the flowers, blossoms delicately bursting from their paper confines as they fave you. “Riki, this is amazing, but what’s this all for?” You truly look confused and he almost wants to laugh. He does chuckle, in fact. “What? Is it obvious?” You ask him. You guys are young. It’s not like you’re getting flowers left and right. “It is to me. I really like you, (y/n). So we’re going to have the best day ever!” He smiles widely as his eyes fix you in a way they’ve never done before. It falters slightly the longer you stare, returning only when you mirror it.

♡ “I already have!” You exclaim, gently moving the flowers aside to pull Riki into a hug. You feel a breath of startlement escape him before he tightly hugs back, practically crushing the life out of you in response and swinging you back and forth a bit. As you pulled away, looking into those beautiful brown eyes, you giggled. “I didn’t expect you to be so traditional!” “I wanted to get the point across!” He shot back with a playful shove. “It only took me a second because I felt like I was dreaming,” you replied.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #jungwon #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #sunoo #ni-ki #gender neutral reader

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seangelfish · 3 months

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OCEAN WAVES

"If only I could go back, I would hold you so you won't be apart from me. For even a moment, I would give you my everything." (Day6 – I Would)

Kanata Yatonokami x reader

➥ Tags & warnings: Angst (no comfort but open to interpretation), suicide attempt, established relationship, she/her pronouns, reader neglect, misunderstandings, a lot of tears.

➥ Word count: 2,590

➥ Synopsis: Despite how long you've been together, you feel like nothing in your relationship is improving. After putting up with so much of his shit, you finally realise that you're no longer happy with him anymore.

A/N: PLEASE listen to 'I Would' by Day6 whilst reading this. It's the song that inspired me to write this in the first place! It also makes the fic more depressing, hehe~ I have so many Kanata angst drafts, it's not even funny. I love him sooo much, but I also love Kanata angst. He deserves the world though.

Please do tell me what you think of the fic! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)♡ I would love to know everyone's reactions!

The twins looked at you, stunned. Rapid tears rolled down your cheeks as you spilled everything out. Despite how much they were mean to you sometimes, you kept a happy facade and gave them countless chances in hopes of being accepted by them one day - properly accepted because even when they allowed you into their home, into their lives, every so often, they would treat you like someone they didn't want around in the first place.

But what made things worse was that you were dating one of them.

"I don't understand why you still treat me this way!" you screamed. "Why are you still so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?!"

You weren't a sensitive person, but trauma isn't something so kind. You had gone through this before – being bullied. You didn't care if a stranger was mean to you, they're nobodies after all. Harsh words from them would graze your skin, nothing like a bandage wouldn't fix. But harsh words from a loved one? Someone you adored and trusted? It was like being stabbed by a knife disguised as a bouquet of flowers.

And those flowers were withering quickly.

"(Y-Y/N), s-slow down," Nayuta started, eyeing his brother whose whole body was trembling. "I'm so sorry, w-we didn't–"

"What's the point in even being here anymore?" you hissed, interrupting whatever he had to say. You unlocked their door, slamming it shut before running away.

"(Y/N)!"

They had each other, but you only had yourself. You moved to Japan on your own with the dreams of studying and working there. Everything was amazing and new to you, but also extremely lonely and overwhelming. There were times when you were so exhausted that you couldn't focus on studying at all. You'd isolate yourself in your room feeling homesick, starving yourself as you had no appetite to eat. There were even times when you just wanted to give up on your dreams and go home.

Yet that day when you got lost in the slums to university, that day you met Kanata had changed everything.

But maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't have gotten lost that day – you shouldn't have moved to Japan at all.

Carefully, you placed your shoes neatly on the sand. Then slowly, you approached the water.

You fell too hard for him – for Yatonokami Kanata – that it stung and left bruises. You had hoped that by time, he'd show a softer side of himself. When you thought that he would, he would regress to his cold demeanour, leaving you feeling even more confused and unwanted. Then why? Why did he accept your feelings? Why did he confess those same feelings to you that day too?

Your chin hit the water. All you could see ahead of you was a pitch-black sky, empty and soulless with no sign of a single star shining. As you continued moving ahead, your hearing became muffled and you could no longer hear the wind blowing those melancholic melodies.

Nor could you hear your name being cried out. Those anguished cries, the way he didn’t think twice before running in to save you. You couldn’t even hear the splashes of the water. The only thing you could hear was bubbling, the way the water gradually filled the inside of your ears.

But before anything serious could happen, you felt his hands on you, dragging you hastily away from the abyss.

His heart was racing as he panicked to get you back to shore. Once the two of you hit the sand again, you coughed out a few mouthfuls, and he held you so tight that you could feel his hands digging into your skin.

But you didn't care.

Nothing mattered anymore.

You stayed in his arms, letting him hold you as much as he wanted. You didn't care. You let him cry on your shoulder, and scream out his apologies. You just didn't care. There was nothing to care about anymore because caring so much had led to this.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he would constantly repeat as tears streamed down his face. "I'm so sorry..."

Eyes as empty as the midnight sky, you stared at his lilac hair embedded with the turquoise underside that you loved so much.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I don't know why I acted that way towards you..." he cried miserably. "I bet you felt so alone... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that... I should've loved you properly..."

You didn't want to listen, but you had to. His voice was so hoarse from screaming, but he still wanted to give you the apology you truly deserved and wanted. Even if it was too late for apologies, he still wanted to fix things – to fix you in any little way he could.

Kanata had taken in every word you yelled at him and his brother before you ran to the seashore. He never knew you felt this way as you were always so happy-go-lucky, always so upbeat, but the realisation had hit him as memories he had forgotten flashed into his mind.

And for the first time, he saw things from your perspective.

"Kanata, I'm bored..." you whined playfully. "Please can we do something together? Why don't we go to that place–"

"Sorry, but can't you see that I'm busy?!" he quickly snapped. "I can't half-ass this song."

You were startled by this but nodded understandingly.

"O-Oh, right! Yes! S-Sorry."

You smiled, but your heart had sunk to your stomach. But you could easily get over that! He was busy after all. It was your fault for even speaking in times like that. Maybe the two of you could go on a date next time!

You remained seated on the windowsill, hands clasped together as you stared at the floor of their rundown apartment.

Why didn't he just go with you? The two of you rarely went on dates unless it was you initiating them. It would've been nice to take you out on his initiative this time, but alas, that didn't happen, and he regretted it badly.

What happened after that was something he didn't remember, but he really hoped you didn't cry yourself to sleep about it. All he remembered was that you left earlier than usual.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Why don't you join us?" suggested Nayuta when the three of you bumped into each other at the mall. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Kanata~?"

At the time, you had rejected Nayuta's proposal because you didn't want to disturb the twins on their shopping trip together, but Kanata insisted that you come along anyway.

However, it seemed like you were tagging along on your own accord.

"Hey, Kanata. Doesn't this look cool?!" Nayuta uttered as he showed his brother a bomber jacket he had found.

Kanata agreed. "Do you want to buy that one?" he asked. "It looks good on you."

From a distance, you watched them with a smile on your face. The brothers were having so much fun shopping together that you didn't have the heart to insert yourself into any of their conversations. Plus you believed that if you did, they would just brush you off.

You supposed you could look around the store by yourself to find an outfit you liked.

"Ah, (Y/N), there you are," said Kanata. "Check this one out."

"It suits you!" you replied.

"Haha, right?"

You thought he was going to pay attention to you this time, so when you found a dress that caught your eye, you chirped, "Wow, this dress is so pretty! Kanata, don't you think–"

But he was no longer by your side anymore.

You chuckled in embarrassment before putting the dress back on the rack. You didn't need it anyway. Plus, you didn't have that much cash on you; you were only at the mall to run errands.

But you really did want that dress. It was pretty and it was your style! You hoped it would still be there the next time you visited.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

The worst part of that memory that Kanata came to remember was that he did hear you call out his name, and he did hear you talk about a pretty dress. But he was so preoccupied with all the stuff Nayuta was putting in their basket, he didn't come to you quicker.

When he finally turned around, you had left the dresses section to regroup with him and Nayuta. You were bright and smiley, so he didn't think it mattered to you. He should've trusted his gut feeling though. After all, he found that dress pretty too.

Those were the only two memories he came by, but deep down, he knew there were more instances where he made you sad. If only you had shown it, but at the same time, it would've been better if he caught on to your subtle yet loud reactions.

"(Y/N), I'm so sorry…" he cried. "I should've treated you better… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

You didn't respond, but you did find yourself gripping onto his soggy shirt. Even after all of this, a part of you still wanted to be held by him – the boy you loved. Kanata didn't hug you often because he found it embarrassing, so you were the only one in the relationship who initiated physical touch. But there were times when he did hold you, those times where you wished it happened more.

"(Y/N)! Kanata! Are you two okay?!" you could hear Nayuta yell. "Come on, let's go back! We need to get (Y/N) back home and..."

You chose to ignore those words as you singled in on the ocean waves' rumbles.

The twins carried you back to their home as it would be easier to keep an eye on you if you were to attempt again.

Kanata filled up the bathtub and gently urged you to get inside. You obeyed without hesitation like you always did, but you wouldn't look at him once. Those eyes that used to admire him and sparkle were now so soulless that it broke his heart.

The two of you were silent as he helped you wash up. It was the first time he ever did something like this, but neither of you cared whether he saw you naked. The sadness in your hearts made it unbearable to feel anything else.

When he was finished, he wrapped you in a towel. As he held you close, you could hear his heartbeat, fast and unsteady. You let him hold onto you for a while, but it wasn't as if Kanata had never comforted you before, you just never experienced something so intimate like this with him. It was a shame that you were being treated like this now – on the day you nearly ended your life.

As he helped you put on some spare clothes, he tried looking into your eyes, but even when you were staring right back at his violet ones, he couldn't find the girl you used to be.

"Here, (Y/N)... drink up," said Nayuta, offering you a mug of hot chocolate, something that the twins both knew you liked. "I'm sorry, (Y/N)... I should've been nicer to you too. You did nothing wrong; remember that, okay? I'm really sorry..."

You accepted the drink, but it took you a while to put your lips on the rim. By the time you drank it, it was already cold.

It was 2am now, and Kanata had you wrapped in his arms. He was still crying, but the stream of your tears had already dried up. So you just laid there, unmoving.

The two of you knew that once he and his brother fell asleep, you'd be gone by the morning.

"Kanata," you uttered. It was the first word you said after the attempt. "Let's take a break..."

He dreaded those words, but it was bound to happen after tonight. He didn't answer though. He never wanted to lose you in the first place. He never thought it would ever happen. He had lost his brother once and was lucky to have him back, but he had nearly lost you too. He didn't know how he would react if he was just a second late to saving you.

"I'm sorry... for being an annoyance..." you murmured.

"You don't need to apologise for anything! You never were an annoyance. I was just an asshole!"

"Kanata..."

"..."

You found yourself gripping onto his shirt again, but this time, the fabric was dry and soft.

"I'm sorry for doing that," you continued. "I wasn't right in the head. Don't worry about me though. I won't try that again, but... don't go looking for me either."

He didn't know what to say, but he was confused when you started giggling to yourself.

"Hehe, this feels nice," you said as a tear rolled down your cheek. "We never got to cuddle like this in bed before... I wish we did that more–"

But you couldn't help it. The dam you had closed off suddenly burst open, and you started wailing loudly on his chest. Nayuta watched you two from the couch, his heart clenching too.

It wasn't the first time you got to sleep with him on his worn-out futon, but you were never this close. When the two of you did sleep together, he kept his distance. Even when you wanted him to be closer, he never dared move an inch.

"Hic... didn't you love me?" you said slowly as big, hot tears fell from your eyes.

"(Y/N)... Of course, I loved you..." he replied sadly. "I still do..."

A forced giggle escaped your lips again. "Okay..." you muttered, sniffing.

You wrapped your arms around his body, reciprocating the embrace. It was the last time you were ever going to see him again anyway, so you might as well do this.

When sunrise came, Kanata found the bed empty as he had expected. In your place, a note was left behind. He didn't want to read it because he knew that all he was going to get out of it was even more tears. However, he didn't want to throw it away either. He wanted to keep a piece of you even if it was a goodbye letter.

Kanata, I hope that in another universe, we would still be together.

After all, I don't think I'll ever get over you.

He sighed, trying to keep his tears inside his eyes. He had cried enough, but it didn't seem to be enough.

If only he could go back to that day, to just have one more day with you, he would hold you again.

And for even a moment, he would have given you everything you wanted, no matter the price, he just wanted you back in his arms.

What neither of you remembered was that after the twins' shopping trip that day, Kanata had gone back into the store.

"Did you forget something?" Nayuta questioned.

"Yeah," he replied. "It's nothing though–"

"Haha, let me see."

In the bag, a new purchase was made. Kanata had bought the dress you were eyeing before.

"Why didn't you buy that for her earlier? (Y/N) just left."

It was Kanata's first time being in love, so he was the most inexperienced boy out there, but still, he loved you.

Even though he had wasted his chances.

"I'm not sure... Do you think she'd still be happy if I give this to her?"

Intro page | Paradox Live masterlist | Request rules I do not give permission to copy/reupload my fics/work.

#paradox live x reader #paralive x reader #kanata yatonokami x reader #kanata yatonokami x reader angst

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hueningshaped · 1 year

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★ someday | c.yj

▰ genre: angst (they don’t end together)

▰ word count: 2.1k

▰ synopsis: you and yeonjun have a conversation you didn’t think you’d ever have to make or you break up with yeonjun even though he’s doing so well in his career

warnings: break ups, not the healthiest relationship

a/n: randomly wrote this while i was sad and listening to day6. sorry 😢 ily and thank you for still being here.

“what are you doing here?” it’s a question that can’t be helped. the time is past the dead of the night, it’s frigid, but it’s raining lightly, meaning the roads are frozen. beyond all the reasons someone shouldn’t be out, you’re mainly surprised because—

“i’m here to change your mind. well, actually—“ yeonjun stops to chuckle wryly. “i’m here to ask you to reconsider your decision. i-i know i can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. i know that. i know and i respect your decisions. i just want you to decide again…”

yeonjun’s nose is red. his ears, too. his hands are by his side, curled into even redder fists that you’d usually bring into your own lips to blow at in attempts to warm up, but that’s not your place.

“how did you even get here?” you dare to ask another question, in disbelief over how he actually showed up to your door, that he was actually here, that he was really standing in front of you, but with intention to try and win you over—rather, win you back.

he sighs, puff of condensation steaming out, and he shuts his eyes painfully when he blinks, but it quickly goes away when he looks at you again.

“i just wanted to say i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry, y/n. i really am, baby, i swear,” your heart quivers in your chest, but your face doesn’t give that part away. it stays still, save of the reality of how your heart really feels: mangled, broken, like a steel bar relying on the rust that connects it to its other half.

it’s easy to accept his apology, but it still feels like it falls short. it’s the same thing. your relationship with him has been some of the happiest years of your life, but it doesn’t mean they haven’t also been rocky and tiring. it’ll be another year of nonstop schedules for him, who already hardly has any time for himself and his family because he’s an idol.

it was today that you’d come to the decision, which had rested on a fence you’ve been on for a few months, that it was time to take a break and call it off.

the ringing of your phone seemed never ending, your heart in your throat, feet on edge, as you waited and waited and waited for him to pick up. two missed calls jumped to six, and six missed calls jumped to eight, and by then, you’d peeled too far in your cuticles, making yourself bleed.

so, you’d left a voicemail—shakily, quietly disclosing your true feelings.

yeonjun, if you receive this message… i wanted to let you know that i want to break up. this is my decision. my mind’s been made up. sorry, it had to be this way, but it’s just right. take care. goodbye, yeonjun. […] [sniffle] did it send? oh, shoo—

of course, bombarding his phone if he so chose to look at it or not ignore you wasn’t ideal, nor had it been your first plan. in fact, this was done out of a moment of desperation. paranoia and frustration had long been eating away at you. you were overwhelmed, tired of pacing, tired of rowing this boat and pretending, and well…

it was only a matter of time.

a smile squeezes at your lips, pursed with halfheartedness. you nod because—

“i know, yeonjun. i know you’re sorry. i know you don’t mean to do anything bad to me genuinely, i know that you feel terrible, maybe even worse, now that you’re aware of how i feel, but—“ you close your eyes, inhaling sharply, to hide the adrenaline of a cry building up in your chest. with every word you say, his eyebrows become more and more drawn in, dejection and fear becoming of his expression, face still the same beautiful. “all i’m asking is for some time apart. alone, completely. not the fake together that we’ve been and we’re officially going to be with all your…schedules. i know it’s not your fault you’re booked and busy, but ah! this is tiring for me. i’m tired. and i know more than anything that you are, too.”

his eyes glitter with tears. the water pools along his lash line. his bottom lip is curved inwards. yeonjun opens his mouth to let out an exhale wet with tears.

“you can say whatever you want, and i know this is the coldest anyone could be to you, but it has to be done. so, by all means, yeonjun, go ahead. say your part, i’ll listen.” you add again, crossing your arms more to bring yourself further warmth. it doesn’t seem right to invite him inside, even if your heart begs and wails at the highest octave and volume to let him in and let him kiss away all the pain at least for a little while. but you don’t.

“okay… alright, i… thank you, y/n. um, i don’t… i don’t know what to say suddenly, oh, my… what do i do, i’m suddenly speechless,” it becomes clear he’s at a loss of words, he looks around at his surroundings like he just sobered up. maybe you were too harsh. “i just think i’ve fucked up. truly, completely. i’m sorry i finally decided to show up, only at the last second.”

you laugh.

“me, too,” you say with a little smile, facade wrong for the tone in your voice. it betrays each part, just the way your heart feels. he lowers his head.

“i took advantage of you always being there for me, and i wasn’t even there for you, so i’m sorry for that, too. i could have been a hundred times better, like the person i was when we first became a couple. i’m just busy. that’s it. i’m just too busy, and i can’t even do anything better than this. i’m just… really sorry. i can’t even give you anything. i’ve nothing more to offer to you in this moment, and for that and—well—and for everything, i really am sorry. i can’t promise you anything. i just wanted to remind you of how i feel, and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to let go of my love for you.”

you look past him to the dim lit street, black ice leaving the road with a gleam, and the rain picks up, making the sky hazy. he doesn’t belong here. he’s too perfect. he always has been. it’s easy for him to point out all his faults since he begs you to reconsider, but you can admit that you also could have done a bit better, especially for him. he doesn’t need this.

yeonjun’s heart splits in two at the way your own eyes well up, face blank and stony, doing its best to not give away your pain. it’s embarrassing to dismissively wipe away a tear or two that betray your eyes.

“stop beating yourself up, baby,” your voice hitches as you try and reassure him. “i just think we each deserve better. you don’t need to constantly have guilt for being who you are. maybe we aren’t together, but i’ll always be here for you. you know i’m not going anywhere.”

yeonjun grits his teeth and brings a hand to messily wipe away tears you didn’t even know he’d let go.

“don’t say that. i love you, y/n. please,” he pleads, bringing his fists together to his chin.

“just because i’m asking to be apart doesn’t mean i don’t love you,” you take his hands into yours to kiss at them. he sniffles hard, incoherent to the sobs he’s holding back.

he cries too much and hurts too much for someone who will eventually forget that they were even in such a burdensome relationship… he’ll be so busy anyway. he won’t have time to think about this. he has such infinite love for his fans, and his fans love him so infinitely. he’ll be okay in no time, won’t he?

yeonjun’s hands are back by his sides, and so are yours. the wind whistles and your wind chimes ring solemnly. they fill in the silence and the nothing of you two. you know he’s not a mind reader, but you wish he’d ask you how you felt, if it hurt making this decision—because it wasn’t easy. it was painstaking to step up and walk away from this, but you had to. you had to, didn’t you?

“do…you want me to give you a ride? i really don’t know how you got here…” you speak up. your own nose is reddening. he swallows a lump in his throat, hesitating to shake his head.

“my chauffeur parked a few blocks down since the streets are too narrow. i really am sorry, y/n, not only because i feel bad but because i know it’s not fair to you. we… we’ll always be friends, right?” his tone is so fearful, even if he does his best to hide it with hope and liveliness. your face is so still, so blank. you didn’t mean to let him down so coldly.

“of course, jjunbug.” is all you say, and that seems to be enough: enough to keep the heartbreak at bay, enough to soothe yeonjun, your now ex-boyfriend, on the surface at least. it can only be enough. this is as much as you can do. this is as much as he can take.

his smile is wobbly, complementary of the broken light in his eyes that’s so uncharacteristic of him, who is always such a cheerful beam of iridescent light.

“y/n, do you think i could hug you one more time? i know i can’t kiss you or anything, but i’m just… ah, forget about it. it’s stupid i asked…” his tone mirrors his posture; you can tell he feels small. you’ve rarely seen him like that—the few instances he let you mend him when he’d come to you broken, or on the brink of shattering. your yeonjun has always been so strong, even when he was at his weakest.

“sure, yeonjun. we can hug.” you’re in your house slippers, on the frame where your place meets the outdoors. hesitantly, your arm reaches out over the frame where you stand, hand returning to his to bring warmth, and as soon as he feels your touch, knowing it’ll be the last, yeonjun can’t help but come to you, also pulling you more towards him to wrap his arms tightly around you, fisting your clothes and weakly sniffling in your hair.

he smells like home. the pattern of breaths that he takes feel so familiar to you; you missed this background noise. you rest your chin on his shoulder as he does his best to accommodate to your height, your bottom lip wobbles at this realization that you know this’ll be the last.

yeonjun feels your hand come to his nape, lightly and tenderly holding on, playing with his long hair. the faintest of cries makes their way to your ears, and it hurts even more, but you know that this is best. isn’t it?

you stand a little on your tip toes, pulling him down when you can’t stand on them anymore, but he lets you.

minutes pass. the wind whistles, a family or two pass by on the sidewalk despite the frigid breeze piercing the air. his hands rub up and down your arms to bring you warmth, but your senses all come to collect at the hum of his voice, so beautiful and calming, and that scent of his, so rich and comforting. you do your best to savor it to mind, to never ever forget it, and he does the same, feeling the width and softness of your body, your warmth, and your fragrant body that smells like home to him.

after some time and hesitation, he pulls away, hands lingering around your waist before he really is letting go. he smiles, nodding like he understands everything going on in your head, and you nod, the same.

yeonjun takes one step down your small set of steps, looking back one more time, with a sad smile.

“y/n, do you think we could try again in the future?” he asks, words slurring like they always do.

it seems possible, but it also seems like he’s on that path where he’s only going to get busier and busier. and you know you are, too. it’s that point of adulthood where you have to plan weeks in advance to meet with friends. it all seems dismal, but a part of you wants to hold onto that hope, the hope that he would still want you the way he (maybe) wants you now: the way he made an effort to try and win you back. so, all you do is smile and shrug.

“i think so,” even though your heart is breaking, and without a doubt, so is yeonjun’s, you do believe that this isn’t the end for you and him.

for now, you have no idea when you’ll ever see him again, but you still hope.

“maybe.”

#txt imagines #txt scenarios #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun x reader #txt angst #yeonjun angst #tomorrow x together imagines

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starlostseungmin · 2 years

Text

the way i loved you, fearless ─── candle on the window sill.

masterlist. playlist.

✰ pairing — non-idol!seungmin x fem!reader (with she/her as pronouns) ft. mentions of day6’s wonpil

✰ genre — exes to lovers, angst, fluff, mutual pining, a little bit of idiots to lovers, a slice of life, semi-college au

✰ warnings — mentions of food, profanity and kissing, not proofread.

✰ word count — 7.01k

✰ songs that was used for inspiration — the way i loved you by taylor swift, here always by kim seungmin, give me your forever by zack tabudlo, love again by baekhyun, and araw-araw (everyday) by ben&ben.

REBLOGGING AND LEAVING A FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

What was it like to break up with Seungmin?

It was cold and blue, full of sad smiles and tears that were kept behind throughout the happiest moments you’ve had. Torn and crumpled sheets of paper, wilted flowers, broken glasses scattered on the floor, and a sad song. Voices of arguing people echoes within the apartment until someone decided to move out leaving half of it lies empty. Broken picture frames, one toothbrush in the bathroom, one pair of shoes by the doorsteps, the scent of his perfume remained until it fades. It was filled with madnessーhe was so in love.

The past relationship was beautiful, falling in love with Seungmin felt like an angel saving you from a tragic fate. Soft as clouds, sweet like candy, beautiful like flowers, it was so good and delicate, one that everyone craves for a relationship. He was perfect for you, the person who never fails to make you smile or make your heart pound like crazy. A sweet voice that sings you to sleep, physical interactions that send butterflies in your stomach, eyes that plead not to make you mad at him for a long time when he did something wrong, a shower of kisses during cuddles, his acts of service that force you to fall into thoughts, what did you do in your past life to deserve someone like him? You were so in love, and so he is.

It was love at first sight when you met him years ago after your sister got engaged to his brother. You were both in sophomore year in college but attending different universities. They live in the city proper as you were living an hour away. You remember how much he looked that day. Gray hoodie and baby blue jeans, white shoes, and a black backpack, he was running late. His hair was fluffy enough for the wind to play. A gentle voice of apology was heard with his awkward smile, he was so cute with those puppy eyes. One that made your heart race and cheeks turned red. His eyes fell in your direction and gave you a warm smile showing his braces. His brother introduced him to everyone and became very close friends with you.

Every beating for your heart was for him, yet you thought he only sees you as less than a lover. Every hour was spent with him you’d wish to last. It was one of the great experiences you’ve had and bittersweet memories you wanted to keep. Seungmin was the love of your life, he didn’t know that at first, but even if he’s not aware of how you felt for him, you were just thankful enough to stay by his side. And you know that one day, he will break your heart because you failed to do the right thing, or so you thought.

It was the way he persuades you to let him take you home even if he gets in his own house late at night. An hour from the city to your address and another hour from your house to the city where he lives in the proper. Your mother loves him as much as how she treats your brother-in-law who happened to be his older brother. A small world that leads you to two to be together. It sparked a friendship that soon turned into a romantic phase when he texted you out of nowhere, at 2 am and it was raining. You couldn’t sleep, thoughts filled with only him. He was standing outside your house, soaking wet in the rain, stole his dad’s car to drive here saying he wanted to see you after days of ditching when in fact he was deliberately contemplating on punching himself in the gut to tell you how much he was in love.

Kissing in the rain at 2 am telling each other how you felt was like heaven. His lips were delicate and warm, tasted like coffee he drank before to stay awake, his bangs covered his eyes due to the heavy raindrops, hoodies wet but it was warm. The very first kiss you’ve had came so unexpectedly. The blooming love enveloped your life and him becoming your first boyfriend was like a dream. He even learned the guitar and wrote you a song, purposely leave his hoodies when he comes to visit your house, takes you on cafe dates, and help you study, saying I love yous every time he takes you home before he leaves, it was perfect. Everything was.

The relationship was blessed for both parties and your first anniversary had to be on your sister’s wedding day. Felix, a close friend of yours was talking with you while sharing some cake as Seungmin was with his brother. Ceremonies ended an hour back and it was the time for the bride to toss her bouquet, a silly common tradition, but it was said to however catch it will get married next.

“Everyone ready?” Says her, turning her back from everyone as the other bridesmaids gather. You weren’t giving a shit, Felix didn’t even mind either, all eyes focused on the cake. “3, 2, 1!”

“Y/n, the bouquet, the bouquet!” Felix exclaimed which made you panic out of nowhere. The cake was being ignored as your sister tossed it high and far, it landed in your direction as the other girls tried to run for it. Yet, the flowers chose you as they ended up in your hands.

“What?” You asked, feeling stunned. Seungmin smiled getting shy after his brother teased him about it. Felix was also wriggling his brows because he knew you’d ended up with him for a lifetime. Only a few know, just your families and a few friends. Seungmin loved to keep it private so he held your hand tightly that night when everyone went home. The hall was empty, and you were sitting aimlessly staring at the flowers. He decided to sit beside you, holding your hand before placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“You look beautiful today,” He said, cheeks turning red from blushing.

“Thanks,” You smiled. “You look good yourself,” But he just laughed to cover the embarrassment.

“Can I take a look at the bouquet?” He asked as you handed it to him.

“What are you going to do with it?” You asked as he took a piece of wrapping paper and rolled it out, twisting them to make a semi-braid. Eyes fixed on it, Seungmin was up to something. He laid the flowers down on the bench.

“Since you’ve caught the flowers, I have a little negotiation with you,” He said as he stood up from the seat and stood in front of you.

“Okay, what’s up?” You asked crossing your arms as he suddenly got down on one knee, offering his hand. “Seungmin what are you doing?” Panic surfaced all over your face making you a blushing mess. It was fun to tease you, he loves the way you turn red for him, it’s a way to show his love.

“It’s our first anniversary, and I’m thinking if we should move in together,” He paused, taking your hand. “A year full of happiness even when he had bumpy roads on the way, it was worth it, and I want to spend more of it with you,” He smiled. “This is not a proposal yet, but I just wanted to make sure, marry me in the future, Y/n,” His eyes stared at yours, it was full of sincerity and commitment, one that you would expect from him but not this early. You love him so much, even if it was just a year, you’d risk everything for him.

“Yes!” You exclaimed as he slid the wrapping paper ring on your finger, pulling you for a hug. “I love you so much,”

“I love you too,” He said kissing your forehead. “We didn’t get to spend our anniversary because of the wedding but, happy anniversary baby,” He added before placing his lips on yours, arms wrapped around his neck as his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss.

It was a perfect night, even if you were just in your junior year of college, Seungmin was confident to move in with you. After a few months of planning it, both of you hailed for an apartment. Living together meant cuddles now and then, sweet kisses in the morning and passionate ones at night, having to eat together and share everything. A pair of toothbrushes at the sink, two pairs of shoes at the doorsteps, a closet filled with your clothes, four pillows on the bed divided into two, a large white duvet enough to cover you, a back hug when the one is cooking or washing the dishes, you were both happy and contented.

Moments like taking the bus together at night as you fall asleep on his shoulder, he kisses the crown of your head and cuddles you in his arms after an exhausting day. An amusement park dates where you wear matching headbands and take polaroid pictures with cotton candies in your hands. Running under the rain while holding hands because one forgot to bring the umbrella. Having to play while doing the laundry and blow bubbles to each other for domestic fluff, you couldn’t even ask for more. And even if Seungmin and you don’t like drinking, you both ended up getting drunk in your apartment and making out until it lead your back to meet the mattress as your boyfriend hovered over you. An intimate one.

But then, it all ended up so quickly. Like a snap of a finger that you can never bring back again, or the fate decides.

It has been 3 years since you graduated from college, and work has been taking your time to go home to your family. Even received a phone call from your mom telling you to go home, it was your sister’s wedding anniversary too. One that you’d celebrate every year that you were called to come home but you’ve been missing during the past years. A sigh escaped from your lips as you took the window seat inside your old bedroom. You had arrived on a rainy afternoon on a Saturday. Everything changed per se. The trees had grown older, roofs had become a little bit dirty and covered by lichen, street signs had marks and scratches, and electric wires became thicker after being mixed with new ones, it is the aesthetic of your hometown.

Your suitcase becomes unattended on the floor as you look around. Polaroid pictures of you and Seungmin were still up on the walls. Each frame depicts different heart-melting moments or just simple pictures you took for memories for the years to come and remember. Smiling at the sight, your fingers reached for them to look delicately. Slowly changing the photographs, memories started to flood your mind. A train of heartwarming thoughts and giddiness, it was all about how the way your love blooms and the early days of your relationship.

You were all reminiscing until it was cut off when you heard a knock on your door, it was your mother.

“Y/n?” She called as you left the pictures scattered on your bed to open the rectangular frame.

“What’s up Mom?” You asked.

“Your sister and Wonpil will come tomorrow morning, they said, Joeun had to go to the dentist today.” She said, “But Seungmin will come over first, he said he’s coming to help with the preparations,”

“Oh,” You answered as your heart started to beat faster. It’s been quite a while since the last time you saw him. “That’s good, what time will he be here?”

“I don’t know, it might be this evening,” It was too soon that you didn’t get to prepare yourself. “But please do take a rest first, I know seeing him now after a while ever since your break up must be pressuring,” She chuckled. “Is that okay with you?”

“Of course Mom, it’s fine, we’re through anyway, no hard feelings,” You said, faking a smile as your mother looked at you with sympathy.

“I just hope you guys are all well now,” She smiled before patting your shoulder and left.

Closing the door behind you, the light became dim as a sign it was close to dark. Turning the lights on, you sat down on your bed to pick up the polaroids. You loved Seungmin so much that the break-up didn’t even end up well. It took you a while to stand up back on your feet again trying to move on but for your dear heart’s sake, you were so in love with him. It wasn’t easy to get over someone you truly loved even if the ending part was filled with fights and arguments, things you couldn’t understand. Seungmin tried, you tried, yet you ended up losing each other. But it never hides the fact that you were happy.

Happiness is found when you open a box of your favorite things, but that wasn’t the case. You found what happiness truly meant because of him. A rainy day that turns into the sunshine when he smiles, a tragedy that takes turn into a happy ending, the black that turns into white, Seungmin has a lot of side effects. A simple gesture turns into a fluttering heart moment. Memories of him are nostalgic. There was never a dull moment with him, you knew he loved you so much.

It was almost dinner time, you here helping to set up the table and Seungmin is almost home. You didn’t know what to do exactly, it’s been two years since the last time you met the break up was a blur, and suddenly, after a fight, everything started to fade, but not how you felt for him. You assumed he found a new one, probably he moved on, no talks, no social media interactions, no meet-ups, it was the pure end. You only hear things from Felix and Jisung, nothing more. A sigh escaped your lips as you heard the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it,” Your dad chirped, making his way to the door, and opening it. “Oh, Seungmin it’s you!”

Your heart started to beat faster, quickly turning to the door and see him. The one you didn’t see in the past two years and the one that you’ve missed so much. His smile was still the same, he didn’t have braces anymore but still, it was cute. Bangs parted on his forehead, a large black coat with a gray hoodie inside and jeans and white shoes, he was holding a bouquet and a food basket. Those flowers reminded you of how he proposed after your sister’s wedding, the paper ring he gave you didn’t last long, but you placed it somewhere where you can carry it wherever you go. But the ring on his finger didn’t show the same love, it was new to your eyes. He must’ve met someone already.

“It’s been a few months since the last time you’ve visited,” Your father said hugging him.

“I’m sorry Mr. (y/l/n), work keeps me busy,” Seungmin chuckled as your dad lead him to where you were with your mother.

“Oh come on, you’re still calling me that? Why can’t you call me dad just like Wonpil, eh?” Your dad responded.

“I’m getting shy,” He laughed along with your dad.

He grew taller and became more handsome, his voice still echoes the same and makes you weak. But it hits more differently when he sings. You used to convince him to apply for a music competition when you were in college, despite going to different universities, you knew the trends yet he always refuse and promise to keep his singing voice only to you. Maybe his new lover is enjoying them now. A small smile was formed on your face as you locked eyes with him. Your mother welcomed him with kisses on his cheek as your father placed the flowers and food on the table.

“Hey,” He said.

“Hi,” It was awkward, both of you didn’t know what to say. Your parents stared at you for a few seconds, you were just standing there, with nothing to say and nothing to talk about, or so you thought.

“Since when did you get here?” He asked, taking the flowers off the table.

“This afternoon,” You said.

“For you,” He smiled, offering the bouquet. You realized it was the same set where Wonpil got your sister on their wedding day, the one you received after she tossed it around. It was nostalgic that you managed to remember.

“Thank you,” You said giving a soft smile, and took the flowers from his hands.

Dinner was served as you ate in silence while your parents kept talking to Seungmin. It’s an awkward family dinner with your ex, but still being entertained with how many questions they were asking him. He is in his third year in law school and at the same time working with his father’s business. You knew he wanted to be a lawyer when he grow up, and he’s invested in his dream now, with only a few more steps to take. It was a good experience to have a Political Science major as a boyfriend.

They were busy to put attention to you, it felt like Seungmin is being their child while you were left in the ditch but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Your parents just missed how things were when you were still together and whenever someone mentions your name in between the conversation, it was only a faint smile that you showcase. Seungmin couldn’t help but take glances at you until dinner time was done, he volunteered to wash the dishes as you went inside your room. Your mother was being sneaky as she stood beside him, watching his solemn expression.

“I always see Y/n as one of the shy kids around and thought she was lonely, but then, you came,” She smiled. “She fell in love at first sight and there was never a day that she doesn’t talk about you,”

“I didn’t know what you did to her, because she was so in love and I like you so much because she loves you just like your brother, you boys granted my wish to have sons.” She added as Seungmin started to fight the urge to shed a tear. “I was happy that you said you’d marry her one day, but relationships come and go, I know you had your reasons why you decided to end it. Two years felt like forever,”

Seungmin’s head hung low as he started to rinse them, “I saw the hurt in her eyes when she came home after your break up, I know you loved her too right?”

Seungmin nodded, “So much,”

“You just need to talk it out, it seems like you didn’t get the closure you needed,”

“Mrs. (y/l/n) Iー,” Seungmin said as he was cut off when the electricity went off.

“Damn, it’s at it again, stupid electrical company!” Your dad exclaimed, taking his phone for a flashlight.

“Take the flashlight to Y/n’s room, yes?” Your mother added, giving him the spare flashlight she hid in the cupboards. Seungmin was done washing the dishes as he bowed to your mother and left.

The lights are turned off gently, the moon shines outside as you opened the curtains. It wasn’t as bright as the way you saw it from the city but it was still beautiful giving a hint of light. You found a match on one of your drawers and an old candle you used to light up when the power is off. Sitting on your window seat, you placed the candle on the window sill scratching the match on the box before letting the rope burn into a small flame. It became quiet afterward, but then, it was another knock on the door.

“It’s open!” You said as Seungmin entered with a flashlight.

“Hey,” He said. “Uhm, your mother asked me to hand you this,” He added, handing the small flashlight.

“Thanks, we don’t have emergency lights here,” You smiled, taking it from his hand.

“May I sit down with you?” He asked as you gave him a nod and moved a bit to give him the space. “Your room is still the same,”

“Yeah, I barely come here, I didn’t bother to make changes,” You sigh, letting the flashlight roll on the seat. Seungmin nodded as a response when he saw the polaroids lying on your bed, his hands reached out for them and move closer to the light to reminisce.

“You still have these?” He asked earning your attention, when you snatched them away from his hands.

“I was going to hide them,” You answered with an awkward laugh and placed them on the drawers beside your bed. Seungmin was stunned, he hoped for something else. “So uhm, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” You smiled, shifting to another topic.

“I’m good, I’ve been busy for a quite while, and you?” He asked.

“Same sentiment,” You said as Seungmin nodded as a response. Another awkward silence again, he played with his fingers as you stared outside. His eyes suddenly fell on your hands looking for the paper ring he slid inside years ago but he scoffed mentally, it must’ve broken through the oldness of time. “Are you dating again?” You asked out of nowhere.

“What makes you think I do?” He asked as you pointed his ring using your lips. “Oh,”

“That’s great, I’m happy for you,” You smiled, but deep inside you were still hurting.

“Thanks,” He smiled softly. “So uhm, when are you going back to the city?”

You felt a pang on your chest, your instincts were right. It was stupid enough when he found someone else and you’re still into him. You just want to vanish into thin air and never show up yourself again. It feels like your world crashed with a meteor, the second time. The first time was your break up and now Seungmin is happy being with someone. Moving on was hard, loving him for years now made it difficult to let go. Maybe he forgot about you real quick, and you’ve been blaming yourself for why it all ended.

“Probably on Monday morning,” You said hugging your knees closer to your chest. “I heard you’re leaving tomorrow evening?”

“Yeah, I still have law school on Monday as well, it’s better to leave early, they’re kind of strict about tardiness.” He chuckled.

“You’ve been working so hard ever since we were in college,” You smiled. “It must’ve been so good being closer to your dreams now, I know you’ll ace the exam after you graduate,”

“Thanks, I hope you’re doing good with our routines,” He said. This conversation is killing you. Just an awkward exchange of words to check on each other but not about the break-up. But the thought of it might make him uncomfortable. Seungmin looked at you again as you were staring back at the scenery outside, unable to give eye contact. It might resort to crying if you see his face. “Y/n,” He called.

“Hmm?” You hummed turning to look at him.

“About what happened to us, I’m still sorry about it, I never get the chance to talk to you,” He said, expression softened and turned a bit gloomy.

“It wasn’t your fault, I was stupid that it lead us to break our relationship, let’s not talk about it, I don’t want you to worry about us anymore,” You smiled trying to hide the pain. “Besides, you’re happy with someone else, I bet you’re already engaged with them. Seeing the ring reminds me how you’d want to marry them for reassurance,”

“I’m not engaged,” He said.

“Then, married?” You asked as he chuckled in response.

“I was sure you’d be the one I marry,” He spoke, looking directly into your eyes as you were caught off guard. “But I’m not sure how things will turn out right now, I was hurt when we broke up, I blamed myself tooーI also had a hard time trying to forget you,” He chuckles lightly.

“You were so good to me that you did nothing wrong, I was the one to blame so don’t beat yourself about it…” You said trying to hold back the tears. “I loved you so much that I want to stop myself from hurting you,”

It was that time when things started to get heated up by emotions, broken promises were held captive by the lack of time. You were both busy, Seungmin had a hectic schedule in law school and his dad’s business as you work on being an immigration consultant. He comes home late at night while you were left to do paperwork. Both are pressured by your jobs, no cuddles spent mostly, and only go to sleep because of exhaustion. Sometimes being driven by house responsibilities and emotional breakdowns. Seungmin tried to be a good boyfriend to you, but he grew tired.

Kissing your forehead after a rough day, you fall asleep in his arms as he kept his mouth shut about what happened to his day. He didn’t want to worry you as he promised to take you first before himself. You were the only one who kept him strong to hold off every pressure he’d been through. But it’s not every time he could hold in it, until one day, his bubble popped out with a loud sound. All because of a misunderstanding.

“Y/n, fuck, can you please stop complaining for once? I’m trying to work!” He snapped. You were too exhausted that day, your boss was getting all riled up because of your job. Seungmin was having a bad day as well, but you never expected him to yell back.

“How can I not complain about it? I want to quit that agency.” You scoffed as Seungmin sighed, crumpling his papers for giving too much time and revisions.

“Then quit! All you do is complain anyway. Did you even ask how I am? I always put your first because I don’t want you to get stressed out and now this? I just wanted a peace of mind. I’m trying to do a fucking project!”

“It’s always that excuse! Do you even understand how I feel?”

“Fuck it! Now you’re blaming me for not being understanding?”

You’ve been in a lot of arguments before, but not to the point where everyone was yelling. But ever since Seungmin talked back at you, things started to fall off. It happens at least a few times a week, every night you yell and he gets mad. Broken glasses fall on the floor, stationeries scattered on the table, him sleeping on the couch instead of your bed. Everything was chaos. It was becoming toxic. There were times you’d made up but then another series of arguments.

“You thought you didn’t do anything wrong in this relationship? Do you always think you were always right? No!” He said.

“Then why can’t you listen to me? I’ve been trying to keep this thing going with you but you’re messing up my patience!”

“You too! I’m not a punching bag Y/n, you can’t get all riled up to me when you have a bad day! Stop blaming me as if it’s my fault!”

“I am not fucking blaming you!”

“That’s it, I’m done with this conversation. I’m breaking up with you!”

“You left the apartment after that and move back with your parents,” You said. “I moved out a few days after you did, that place had bad memories,”

“I’m sorry,” He said as he held your hand.

“It’s nothing to say sorry about Seungmin, it was my fault,” You added patting his hand before slipping your hand off from the grip. “As I said, don’t beat up yourself about us because it might ruin your current relationship,”

“I still think of you,” He said, looking at the scenery outside the window. “I always remember how I used to wait outside your school just to take you home even if I arrive late on my own,” He chuckled. “Even forced me to stay, honestly, all I think about was the good things that happened when we were still together, not the bad ones, I just know that I used to be so happy whenever I’m with you.”

“Likewise, you know that I loved you so much right?” You asked looking at him.

“I do,” He smiled looking at the candle. “This house of yours fill in a lot of memories before we moved in together, and even if we did have our apartment, it was fun living with you, I just missed those times,” You bit your lip, looking down at your knees. His sentiments were like yours, the nostalgic feeling of your relationship haunts you both.

“If we didn’t break up, do you think we’re married right now?” You laughed shamelessly as he turned away trying to hide his pink cheeks, but later he realized it was so dim for you to notice it.

“Maybe,” He said. “And already have a kid,” He laughed as you smacked his arm making him let out a small reaction to pain, rubbing his affected area. It was so good to warm up with you again, but it would feel so great to have you back in his arms. Yet too afraid to hurt you again.

“I’m glad you’re happy right now Seungmin,” You said. “I wish I am in the same boat as you,”

“You’re still single?” He asked turning to you.

“Yeah, I never been able to go on dates after we broke up, too busy,” You said as Seungmin remembered what your mom told him earlier. Should I ask her or not? No, she might say no… Just shut it out Seungmin, he thought. He just nodded at your response and took a deep breath.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Go ahead,”

“Y/n, I stillー,” But Seungmin was cut off when the electricity came back, distracting you from the conversation.

“Thank goodness, I thought we were sleeping under a hot roof,” You said taking the candle from the window sill and blowing it off. “What are you going to say again?” Seungmin froze in his seat, the timing was wrong, and it would be awkward to pursue.

“Nothing, I think I need to go now,” He smiled awkwardly as he stood up from the seat. “Keep the flashlight in case the power goes off again,”

“Sure,” You said, couldn’t help but feel disappointed with the power being back. “Wait, you’re not staying here?”

“No, I’m sleeping at a hotel, all my things are there but I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” He said.

“The hotel near the convenience store?”

“Yeah, and if you want to come by, I’m in room 0325,” He smiled. “Good night Y/n,”

“Good night…” You answered as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Laying on your bed, everything came unexpectedly today. Seungmin himself was the first, reminiscing about your relationship came second and the closure. A closure that just proves you are still highly into him and it will probably make you stay awake for the night. You would see him again tomorrow, that’s for sure but contemplating telling him how you feel might ruin things. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as your eyes fell back to the window, the curtains were still open and the moon decided to hide behind the clouds. It was raining again.

You closed your eyes as you listened to the sound. The memory of him coming to your house at 2 am saying he wanted to see you flashed back. Rain, wet hoodies, and a stolen car, a passionate kiss was shared. It felt like you just came back to this place to remember everything, from the beginning to the end. Seungmin was all you think about. You missed him so much, two years really did prove that moving on isn’t as easy as falling in love. He has a huge part of it, something that he had devoured the moment you became a couple.

You sat up again and took the polaroids from the drawer. Each picture depicts your feelings, one with happy smiles, one where he was smiling after pulling a prank on you, another shows your hands forming a heart and the last one was a kiss you had during a date at an amusement park. A tear fell from your eyes, how can I be so stupid to hurt him like that? Why am I still so in love after two fucking years? I want to take him back… you thought.

His car took off a while ago and the convenience store was only a block away. You tossed the polaroids on your bed and walked out of your room, running downstairs ignoring the voices of your parents. It was raining heavily, you didn’t mind. You just wanted to get into his hotel and tell him everything. A closure wasn’t enough, a simple conversation of how are yous is not going to work. You wanted him back, even if he’s in a relationship with someone else, it’s just Seungmin. The Kim Seungmin you once wasted that you never want to let go of again.

Several knocks were heard from his door as he was drying his hair after taking a warm shower. White oversized shirt and black shorts. It was his fit to get into bed sometimes. The towel played with his wet hair after taking a beeline towards the entrance, growing impatient with all the knocking as it got louder by the second. A harsh sigh escaped his lips as he peeked through the small hole at the center of his door. He dropped the towel on the side table and opened it.

“Y/n?” He called as you entered inside, looking at him with desperate eyes. You heard the door close behind you leaving Seungmin confused. “What are you doing here? You’re soaking wet!” He exclaimed as your hands came in contact with his cheeks before crashing your lips on his, causing him to lean on the wall.

The boy was left dumbfounded as his heart started to beat faster than usual. Your lips felt the same as before, soft and warm, delicate and sweet, except it was desperate enough to make him feel the same. It suddenly drove him crazy, as he pulled you closer to him, not minding how soaked your clothes were and him just getting out of the shower. His hands met your waist as he deepened the kiss, one that became passionate and driven by the longing for each other’s comfort. Eyes were shot, his lips molded with yours as he sucked your bottom before taking them again. Your arms wrapped around his neck making him smile in between. He waited for something like this to happen, he missed it so much. But you pulled away so suddenly.

“I don't care if you're in a relationship or not, I still love you–” But later you were cut off when he started kissing you again, hands on your cheeks as you held them right in the place. It wasn't as desperate as the first one, his kiss felt like it was longing for someone to come back. Closing your eyes again, tears started to form in them as you kissed him back. It was bittersweet, a gentle kiss that he always does after a fight. His thumb started to caress your cheek when his senses felt your tears.

“Hmm,” You hummed softly, heavy breaths started to escape as it ended with a peck. He rested his forehead against yours, looking at those sad eyes before kissing the tip of your nose.

“One more of it, I'm taking you back,” He whispered.

“Just take me back,” You said looking at him as he gave you a soft kiss on the lips.

“I still fucking love you, Y/n,” It made you cry burying your face in his chest, as he hugged you tightly.

“I missed you so much, and I’m sorry for everything that happened between us, I was stupid,” You cried as he pulled away, hands on your cheeks again to wipe your tears with his fingers.

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re here, I’m here. You’re not going to lose me again okay?” He reassured, leaving a kiss on your forehead as you closed your eyes to feel the warmth of it.

“Aren’t you married?” You asked, looking at him when he just chuckled in response.

“No,” He said. “Two years isn’t enough to pursue a new relationship baby, I was waiting for you, hoping that you’re still single, but I understand if it’s not me anymore, after what happened, it’s rare to have the same feelings from the past,”

“You weren’t giving me any decent answer when I asked you so,” You pouted as he gave you another peck on the lips.

“As I said, I still love you and you’re not going to lose me the second time, okay?” He answered with a smile.

“I love you too,” You smiled.

“I know. Now wash up and change into my clothes, you’re staying with me tonight,” He said before taking a few clothes from his suitcase. “Don’t tell your mother you’re with me,” He winked which made you roll your eyes in a playful way.

“My parents would probably know I’m here,” You said as he gave you his clothes and a bathrobe. “Thanks,”

“You’re welcome, now go, so we could cuddle,” He said with puppy eyes as you gave him a peck on the lips before storming inside the bathroom. Seungmin felt his cheeks turn red and the heated kiss made his heart go crazy. He had to drink some water to calm him down but excitement riled up in his body, wanting to take you again in his arms. The sight of you in his clothes made him more flustered, it’s been a while and you still look good in it. A view that he always falls in love with and would never get tired of if you’d use every piece of clothing he owned. “I can confirm that I’m still head over heels to you,” He spoke.

“How so?” You asked, drying your hair.

“I’m so down with the sight of you wearing my clothes,” He smirked which made you blush. It is his favorite, a gray oversized shirt on you and his boxers, Seungmin finds you cute every time. “Come here,”

“I love your clothes,” You cooed, walking towards him as he pulled you into a hug. “But I love you the most,”

“You’re making my heart go crazy again, stop it,” He laughed as you punched his chest playfully.

“You made me run here thinking that you’re married and I was so desperate to take you back not minding if you cheat, I just want to have you back,” You said as it made him smile, kissing your lips.

“Did you hear what I told you earlier?” He asked, sitting on his bed, dragging you onto his lap.

“About what?”

“I was sure that you’re the one I’m going to marry? It’s always been you,” He said, taking his ring off his finger. “I bought this a few days after we broke up, the paper ring from the bouquet didn’t last long, it comes with a pair,” He added, leaning towards the nightstand to take a small box.

“That’s pretty…” You said, feeling the guilt about what happened.

“I was planning to give you this, but things happened,” He said, showing you the other ring. It had a small rose-gold heart-shaped diamond on a silver circle. “Even if I managed to move on and have a new one in my life, I would never give this to them,”

“Seungmin,” You called, tears starting to form in your eyes again.

“This belongs to you Y/n,” He smiled, taking your left hand. “This isn’t a formal proposal but we’ll get there. Are you still up on marrying me?” He added looking at you.

“Fuck, yes!” You exclaimed, wiping your tears as Seungmin slid the ring on your finger before giving you a prolonged kiss. It was a rollercoaster of emotions that took only a day, and maybe you were sent home to come back to the person who longs for you as much as you longed for him. Seungmin was still foolishly in love as you consider yourself an idiot for hurting him like that. He deserves the same love he gives, he was perfect enough to put yourself at risk of falling in love. And as time passes by, his love never faded. It is still the same as making your heart flutter with a hint of teasing and mostly acts of service.

“I love you, Y/n,” He whispered in between the kiss.

“I love you too Seungmin,” You answered, taking his lips again not minding the sound of the rain outside. It was intimate and comforting, one of your love languages with Seungmin’s habit of smiling in between. Maybe it’s one of the courses of action that shows the way you love each other, finding one another back to what you were before.

“Say, do you want to live with me again?” He asked, staring into your eyes.

“You know I can’t say no,” You smiled as captured your lips for another quick kiss.

“I know you so well,” He smirked as you smacked his arm lightly.

“Ow,” He laughed, giving you a hug as you kissed his forehead before resting your chin on the top of his hair, hugging him tightly. “I’m never going to let you go again this time.”

REBLOGGING AND LEAVING A FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

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