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ramblers-lets-get-ramblin · 6 months

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When My Time Comes Around- Part Two

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Part One | Part Three

Summary: This chapter takes place in the year and a half or so before the beginning of the first chapter. You'll find out everything leading up to you finding Joel dying in the snow.

Rating: E FOR EXPLICIT MDNI 18+

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: THIS IS THE SADDEST THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN, major character death, detailed canon typical violence, detailed descriptions of injuries, heavy use of weapons, Marlene deserves her own warning, alcohol consumption, references to alcoholism, child death, child loss, major angst, briefest hint of PIV smut, EVEN THOUGH READER IS NOT PRESENT IN THIS CHAPTER, THIS IS STILL A JOEL X READER FIC

Author’s Notes: Unfortunately, this chapter is a lot sadder than the last one. But if you decide to stick around to the end you will be rewarded with a disgustingly sweet and fluffy happy ending! Also this is my first time writing this much action and it was so fun! Let me know what y'all think about it because I'd love to write more!

A year and a half earlier

The first time that Joel felt even a spark of hope in twenty years, was standing on that roof in Salt Lake City, Utah, feeding a giraffe with his daughter. He felt an unease in the pit of his stomach. It was like he’d swallowed a handful of stones. He didn’t want to move forward with the plan anymore. He didn’t want to find the Fireflies. He never trusted Marlene as far as he could throw her to begin with. But after everything that happened with that man, David, and his group, he doesn’t trust anyone with Ellie. She didn’t tell him the details of what happened to her in that diner in Silver Lake, but it didn’t take much for Joel to figure out where it was heading. He feels so guilty that he wasn’t there to protect her, to save her. He was failing her, just like he knew he would. Just like he told Tommy he would. He tried to tell Ellie that they didn’t have to do this. They could just go back to Jackson and forget about the whole damn thing. “It can’t be for nothing.” She told him. “When we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want. Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon.” Joel chuckled softly and shook his head. Even when she was trying to be serious, she couldn’t help being a little shit. “I’ll follow you anywhere you go.” She told him. “We finish what we started.” Joel nodded in agreement, but his apprehension only grew. He told himself that he would do whatever Ellie wanted to do. Joel Miller may be many things, but a man who goes back on his word isn’t one of them. He didn’t feel any sort of loyalty to Marlene or her terrorist friends, so he wasn’t gonna hand her over to them against her will. He felt a bit of probably unearned pride for his daughter, forging ahead, because she might be able to save everyone. He swallows the lump in his throat, shoving the doubt down. At least he’ll be with her, no harm will come to her while Joel is around.

As they continue their trek through downtown Salt Lake City, they stumble upon an old Army emergency medical camp. Joel tells Ellie that he was in one the day after the outbreak. “With Sarah?” She asks.

“No. She was gone already. It was for the this.” He tells her, pointing at the scar on his temple.

“Ah the guy who shot and missed.” She says. “I figured that would have happened later.”

Joel shakes his head. “No second day.” Joel stops in his tracks, but Ellie doesn’t notice.

“Well I gotta hand it to the Army people, they were way better at stitchin’ you up than I was.” She doesn’t notice that Joel isn’t beside her until he speaks again.

“It was me.” She turns to face him. “I was the guy who shot and missed.” He sits on a concrete barrier. He tells Ellie about how he didn’t want to go on after Sarah died. How he was ready to end it all, wasn’t scared, not even a little bit. But he flinched.

“I know why you’re tellin’ me all this.” Ellie says.

“Yeah, I reckon you do.” Joel replies sadly.

“So, time heals all wounds, I guess?”

Joel looks Ellie in her eyes and tells her, “It wasn’t time that did it.” Her voice breaks a little when she speaks again.

“Well, I’m glad that that didn’t work out.” Joel nods at her.

“Me too.” They hop down from the wall and continue to make their way through the abandoned med camp. Joel decides they are done talking about sad things and tells Ellie that he is in the mood to head some shitty puns. He might as well have handed her his rifle for how happy it made her. She starts out strong with an apocalypse joke, they never even notice the men sneaking up behind them. Not until Joel hears the canister hit the ground. By the time he realizes what is happening, all he can do is shove Ellie to the ground and throw his body on top of her. He hears Ellie scream fro him, but he can’t find her. Then, everything goes black.

Joel has no idea how much time has passed when wakes. His head is pounding and his vision is blurred. There’s a ringing in his ears and a knot on the back of his head. The sheets feel scratchy under his face and the smell of mildew permeates the air. The first thing he sees is the spray painted emblem representing the fireflies. then he hears her. Marlene. She explains that her patrol didn’t know who they were. They just saw two people enter that perimeter they had established around the hospital. Later, he’ll come to realize that they knew exactly who he was. She knew she’d never be able to get Ellie away if he was conscious. The first thing he asks is where his daughter is. Marlene assures him that she wasn’t hurt. “Not even a scratch.” She tells him that she’s mostly just worried about Joel.

“Where is she?” Joel asks. Marlene deflects the question and praises Joel for getting Ellie to them safely.

“How’d you do it?” She asks. Joel, still trying to clear the fog from his brain, shakes his head.

“It was all her. She fought like hell to get here.” But Marlene knows the truth. Ellie would have been dead the first day on her own. She never would have made it without Joel. She almost seems disappointed that he made it all this way. Maybe she was hoping it would have been Tess to cross the finish line. Or at the very least, she’d be able to keep Joel on his leash. There’s nobody left to grab him by the collar. Nobody to tell him “down, boy.” If there was one person in the world Marlene doesn’t want to be indebted to, its Joel Miller. “Just take me to her.” Joel says calmly.

“I can’t.” Marlene replies. “She’s being prepped for surgery.” He doesn’t understand.

“What surgery?” He asks. Marlene explains the Dr Anderson’s theory to him. About why Ellie is immune. And how her immunity could be the key to a cure. Something they can replicate in a lab and give to everyone. A real cure, hope for a real future of the human race. A chance to return their society to its former glory. Finally, the gas that has been clouding his brain has cleared. It dawns on him what Marlene means. He gently sits back down on the hospital bed. “Cordyceps grows inside the brain.” He says softly, almost to himself.

“It does.” She confirms.

“Find someone else.” Joel argues, but he knows that there is no one else. Why would they need someone else when Joel was hand delivering Ellie to them on a silver platter?

Marlene tries to comfort Joel. She tells him that Ellie didn’t even know what was going on. She wasn’t scared a bit. She assures him that she won’t feel even an ounce of pain, not for one second. Joel demands to be taken to his daughter. “You take me to her RIGHT NOW!” Joel screams, standing form the bed. One of Marlene’s men jams the butt of his rifle into Joel’s ribs. It knocks the wind from him and he falls to his knees. “Please.” He begs, “you don’t understand.” Marlene has tears in her eyes when she tells Joel that she does understand, more than he knows. She tells him about the promise she made to Ellie’s mom, moments after the girl was born. She promised to save her. She promised to protect her. Joel is the one who doesn’t understand now. How is this protecting her? Sacrificing her for something that might not even work? Joel would let the whole world burn, and everyone left burn right along with it, if it meant he got to keep his girl safe. She apologizes to Joel as her tears fall, and instructs her men to dump Joel on the highway.

“If he tries anything, shoot him.” She orders. Marlene considers her debt paid, having spared his life. The men shove him down the hallway of the hospital. His eyes dart around, taking note of where the pediatric level is. One of the men grabs Joel by his shoulder and pushes him towards the stairs. The lights flicker overhead, plunging the stairwell into darkness every few moments. Joel times it just right so that the next time it goes dark he makes his move. His jams his elbow into the nose of the man closest to him, the one who shoved him. He pulls the man’s arm up and points his gun at the other man. He squeezes his finger over the other man’s and pulls the trigger. Then, Joel yanks the gun from his grasp and shoots him in the knee. The man screams in pain, but Joel could not care less.

“Where is she?” He demands. “Fuck you .” The man responds.

“I don’t have time for this.” Joel says, and shoots the man in the face. He grabs his backpack from the dead man and ascends the stairs once more, just as their radios go off. “ Shots fired .” Joel hears. He knows he needs to hurry, he doesn’t have much time. He follows the signs on the walls, allowing them to direct him to the pediatric wing. The walls of this wing are covered in murals of animals. All bright colors and happiness. He takes down three or four more Fireflies on his way. Finally, he finds the operating room. A doctor and two nurses are prepping Ellie for her surgery. He made it just in time. He steps into the scrub room, rifle raised and ready. The nurses gasp and raise their hands when he enters the operating room. “Unhook her.” He commands. The doctor comes at him with a scalpel. Joel pulls his pistol from his waist and repeats the order. Just before he pulls the trigger, he feels a pinch in his neck, almost like a mosquito bite.

The last thing he hears before the world fades to black is Marlene’s voice. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

Joel wakes abruptly, uncertain of his surroundings for the second time. He's in a bed, in a dark room. He gropes around, locating his backpack and rifle on the bed. He reaches into the side pocket, pulling out a small flashlight, and clicks it on. The LED light reveals a portion of the room. He rotates his wrist slowly, assessing his surroundings. He's in a house, in a bedroom. His head throbs and his throat feels dry and scratchy. The drug that was administered is potent. He can feel himself growing faint again. He tries to stay awake, knowing he needs to find Ellie before it's too late. But darkness engulfs him, and he falls asleep. When he wakes again, it’s light out. Late morning or early afternoon, he guesses. His head is clearer, but his throat is drier than Texas grass in July. Rummaging through his backpack, he finds his pistol and a water bottle Ellie insisted he carry. He gulps the entire bottle and throws it back into his pack. He rises from the bed and puts his pack on. He checks the ammo in his rifle and slings that over his shoulder. With his pistol in hand, he makes his way to the bedroom door. He swings it open and several chairs topple inside. Clearly they were meant to keep someone, or something , out, rather than keep Joel in. Whoever put him in this room wanted to make sure he was safe. Must have been Ellie , he surmises. Eager to leave, he’s anxious to find Ellie and ensure her safety. Surely Marlene wouldn’t actually have let them kill her, right? He calls out her name, but hears nothing in return. Joel checks every room of the house and finds nothing, no one. He rifles through the cabinets and drawers, looking for anything useful, and for anything that might indicate where he is. He found some old mail on the counter. Alpine, Wyoming. How long had he been out? He pulls out his map and finds that Alpine is about halfway between Salt Lake City and Jackson. He walks back to the room he woke up in to see if there are any clues to where his daughter might be.

On the nightstand in the dimly lit room, a lone note lay folded neatly in half. The paper, worn and crinkled, bore a single handwritten word on the front: JOEL. The letters were etched with an urgency that was almost palpable. His heart pounding in his chest, he gingerly picked up the note and unfolded it. The handwriting wasn't Ellie's; it was too precise, too controlled. "Joel," it read, "I'm sorry that it had to be this way. I couldn't let you kill Dr. Anderson. I meant it when I said I owed you. Consider my debt paid for sparing your life a second time. Do not look for me because I will not spare it a third. I know it doesn't mean much, but I truly am sorry -Marlene." Joel's grip tightened around the paper, crumpling it into a tight ball in his fist. He dropped it onto the ground, the bitterness of betrayal seeping into his bones. Marlene, that heartless woman, had taken Ellie. She had taken his Ellie and left him with nothing but dread and speculation about what they could possibly be doing to her. He doubts they are still at the hospital but he has to go back. It’s the only place he might find a clue as to where they are headed next. At the very least, he might be able to rule out where they’ve already been. Surely Marlene is smart enough to know not to go back to any of her old labs, especially those that Tommy might know about. With a determined set to his jaw, Joel unfurled his map, studying the lines and routes to determine the best course of action. He marked his path and prepared himself for the journey. It took him three grueling days to reach Salt Lake City. Three long days of simmering anger and growing resolve. He knew, with a chilling clarity, what he had to do. He had to eliminate Marlene, once and for all. If he didn’t, she would never cease in her relentless pursuit of Ellie. The journey to the hospital was longer than he had anticipated. The last time he was there, he had been unconscious, blissfully unaware of the machinations unfolding around him. He retraced his steps, climbing up to the fourth floor, the pediatric ward. With bated breath and a cold determination, he began his search. He left nothing untouched, scouring every inch of each room. Despite his efforts, he found almost nothing of importance. Finally, he found himself at the end of a long, rotting hallway. He stood outside a door marked 'scrub room'. With a deep breath to steady his nerves, he swung the door open and stepped through. He glanced through the window above the three-compartment sink and felt a chill run through his veins. His blood ran ice cold, the stark reality of the situation hitting him with the force of a freight train.

There she is. Ellie. His baby girl. She's lying on the same exam table where he last saw her, an image that haunts his every waking moment. He gulps, taking a shaky, ragged breath as he steps into the cold, sterile environment of the operating room. The harsh fluorescent lights cast an eerie glow on her form, making her skin look unnaturally pale and waxy. She looks oddly peaceful like this, as if she was simply sleeping. His boots echo softly in the silence, each step feeling heavier than the last. He longs to reach out, to hold her, to reassure himself that she's still there. But the sight of her, so vulnerable and fragile, is too much for him to bear. Suddenly, a wave of nausea washes over him, so powerful that it brings him to his knees. He turns his head just in time, the contents of his stomach spilling onto the cold tile floor. The taste of bile fills his mouth, but it's nothing compared to the bitter helplessness that fills his heart. Joel slides his arm under Ellie’s knees and his other under her neck. He lifts her small, limp body into her his arms. He cradles her close to his heaving chest, and his arms tremble beneath the weight of the world. His world, ripped from him, once again. Joel doesn’t know how to do this again, but he marches on, determined to put his baby girl to rest properly. Not only had Marlene’s doctor butchered her, but they left her, all alone, discarded like a piece of trash.

Joel carries his daughter down all four flights of stairs. His tears fall freely onto her lifeless body. Behind the hospital there is a field, long overgrown. Joel decides that this is where he will lay Ellie’s body to rest. Joel can’t find a shovel, but there’s a pickaxe laying on the ground nearby. Joel sets Ellie gently down on the ground, under a tree. He drops his backpack and picks up the pickaxe. He rolls up the sleeve of his denim shirt to his elbows and sets to the task at hand. He works tirelessly, the pickaxe biting into the earth again and again. As the sun begins to set, casting long shadows across the field, he packs the last bit of soil over Ellie. The work is done, but the reality of it all threatens to shatter his already broken heart. The small size of the grave he dug, a stark contrast to the enormous place Ellie held in his life, tears at his heartstrings. Exhaustion, both physical and emotional, seizes him. He wakes with the sun in the morning and gazes once again upon the small grave, and tries to find the will to do anything other than lay there and waste away. He still has one thing left to do before he can finish the job he started twenty years before, after the death of his first daughter.

One week later, Joel passes through the gates at Jackson. He makes a beeline for The Tipsy Bison. When he crosses the threshold he spies Tommy behind the bar. Tommy’s gaze meets his brother’s and when he sees the look on Joel’s face he drops the glass he’s holding. He knows that look. He’s only seen it once before, twenty years earlier. It has haunted him ever since. “Sorry, fellas. Closin’ up early tonight.” He says to the men sitting at the bar as he sweeps up the shattered glass from the floor. They grumble but grab their coats and head out. Joel stands, unmoving, until the last man has left, leaving him alone with his brother. He slides his pack down his arm, letting it drop to his feet. He shuffles numbly to the bar and settles onto a stool. “Joel-“ Tommy starts, but Joel cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

“Whiskey.” Is all he says. Tommy pulls a clean glass from under the bar and turns to grab the half full bottle of Jameson behind him. He fills the glass halfway, but Joel gestures for him to keep pouring. He drains the glass in one gulp and slams it back down on the bar. “Another.” Tommy refills the glass and pours one for himself.

“You gonna tell me what happened?” He asks his brother hesitantly, unsure if he’s ready to hear the answer.

“She’s gone.” Is all Joel says as he looks into his whiskey. Tommy narrows his eyes at his brother.

“I can see that, Joel. Wasn’t that the goal? Get her to the Fireflies?” When Joel looks back up, there are tears shimmering in his eyes.

“No, Tommy. She’s gone.” His voice cracks on the last word and his composure breaks. Joel’s chest begins heaving and he presses his palm to it, right over where his pounding heart lies. He could swear that he can feel his heart literally cracking in two. “They-“ he begins but his voice gets caught in his throat. He clears his throat and tries again. “They cut into her fuckin’ head, Tommy.” He doesn’t bother trying to hold back his tears. “They cut her open and they fuckin’ left her there. Left her lyin’ there, all alone, like she was nothin’.” He cries. Tommy is intimately familiar with the despair that Joel is feeling at this moment. He’s been through this with him before, and Joel barely made it out of that alive. Not for his lack of trying either. Tommy knows that he’ll have to keep a close eye on Joel from now on.

“Joel. I’m so sorry.” Tommy says, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Ya should be.” Joel says, taking Tommy by surprise. He shrugs Tommy’s hand off his shoulder and rises from the barstool. He finishes his whiskey and walks out of the bar, grabbing his pack from the floor. He doesn’t know where else to go, so he wanders the streets of Jackson, aimlessly. He comes across the house he and Ellie stayed in for that one night. He vaguely remembers Tommy telling him that it would be waiting for him and Ellie when they returned from their journey. Now he just has to live in it alone, he supposes. He walks through the unlocked door and marches up the stairs. He stops in the doorway of the room he slept in the last time he was here. He spins on his heels and walks into the room next door. Ellie’s room. She was so excited to have a room, she went on and on during their trip to Salt Lake City about how she was going to decorate it. When she found out Joel used to be a contractor, her eyes lit up.

“So you can, like, build shit?” She asked. Joel huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, I can build shit.” He told her. What he wouldn’t give to hear one of her shitty puns right about now. He failed her, again. Just like he told Tommy he would. as he lays his head on the pillow that still smells faintly like her, he can’t help but to wonder if Tommy would have been able to keep her safe.

Joel spends the next few months finding solace in the bottom of a bottle. He hasn’t spoken a word to Tommy since the day after his return to Jackson. Joel said some things to his brother that he could never take back. He doesn’t feel very inclined to take them all back, either. When Tommy came knocking on Joel’s door that next day, wanting to know what Joel had meant, he was surprised to be met with anger. “If it wasn’t for you, that little girl wouldn’t be dead right now. If it wasn’t for you, Tess wouldn’t be dead right now. You just had to go and get mixed up with those Fireflies, didn’t ya? With Marlene.” His voice was laced with venom as he spat her name. “Then ya just ran away when shit got hard. I had no idea if you were alive or dead, I had to come find you.” He shouted at his brother. Tommy held his hands up in defense.

“I never asked you do that, Joel.”

Joel shook his head and laughed bitterly. “All I’ve ever done, your whole fuckin’ life, is clean up after you. Sarah wouldn’t have been home alone that night if I didn’t have to go bail your sorry ass outta jail.” Tommy opened his mouth to argue but Joel cut him off. “She wouldn’t have been there alone and I could have gotten her out of there quicker. She’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you. So would Tess, and Ellie. You’ve taken everyone I’ve ever loved from me. I’ll never forgive you for that.” Joel slammed the door in Tommy’s face before he could even have the chance to defend himself.

Maria had assigned Joel to patrol duty. Five days a week, he worked a twelve hour shift, patrolling the area surrounding Jackson. Five days a week, he came home to an empty house, took a shower, and drank himself into oblivion. The other two days, when he was off, he woke up to a whiskey breakfast, and was usually passed out in Ellie’s bed by sundown. Joel knows exactly how pathetic he is. Barely eking out an existence here in this wonderful community that he has no desire to be a part of. The friendly smiles he receives as he walks down the street. The ones that are met with glares from Joel. He’s only learned the names of the his patrol partners, against his own will. He’s been through three partners already. The lovely people of Jackson can only put up with his sour disposition for so long, it seems. People don’t exactly cross the street when they see him coming, but they don’t go out of their way to offer him any pleasantries, anymore, either.

One day, about ten months after Joel’s return to Jackson, a patrol came through the gates with a group they had found. Great , Joel thinks, more people to have to avoid. That evening, during dinner, they sit at a table near Joel, along with Maria and Tommy, and their baby. Joel tries not to listen to their conversation but when the woman starts talking about her run in with a woman named Marlene, his entire body stiffens. Tommy takes notice of Joel’s reaction but neither men says a word. Later that night, Joel sits atop his regular stool at the bar of the Tipsy Bison. He doesn’t speak to anyone, not even the bartender. Doesn’t matter who’s working, they all know Joel’s order by heart by now. Whiskey. And keep ‘em coming . Though he doesn’t socialize, he takes notice of who comes and goes, in an effort to continue his avoidance of his little brother. From the corner of his eye he sees the woman from earlier, Sandy, enters the bar. Then, she does the one thing nobody does anymore. She takes the bar stool next to Joel. The guy working the bar, whose name Joel can’t remember, raises an eyebrow. “What can I get for you?” He asks the woman.

“Oh I’ll just have whatever he’s having.” She says, nodding her head towards Joel. Joel looks over to the woman and smiles.

“Hi there, I’m Joel.” He says, holding his hand out. “It’s real nice to meet you.” A few hours, and more than a few drinks later, Joel finds himself in his own bed, for the first time since he came back to Jackson. He’s laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling, while Sandy bounces on his cock. He’s barely aware of the sounds she’s making, the roll of her hips over his. His mind is elsewhere, formulating a plan. He’s going to find out everything she knows about Marlene. Then he’s gonna find her and he’s going to kill her. The doctor, the nurses, all of her little Firefly friends. He’s going to rip off their wings, one by one. They’re all gonna pay for what they did to his daughter.

Joel resolved himself to get his shit together after that night. No more drinking. But he had to find something else to occupy his time. Sandy found herself back in Joel’s bed more than once. But if it wasn’t her, it was someone else. Seems like big, bad Joel wasn’t as scary as he liked to think. At least, not to the single ladies of Jackson. Their faces all run together, he gets their names mixed up more often or not, but he’s not the town drunk anymore. It didn’t take him long to get the information he needed from Sandy. They had come across Marlene in Montana. They were attempting to hide from some runners in an old hospital. Marlene and her crew were holed up there as well. Sandy told him that Marlene wouldn’t let them go any higher than the second floor. Whatever they were doing up there, they didn’t want anyone to know about it. She stationed her men at all the elevators and stairwells. Armed to the teeth to make sure they didn’t go where they weren’t wanted. Joel grit his teeth upon hearing the information. He had a pretty good idea of what they were getting up to in that hospital. Butchering someone else’s kid, probably.

Joel spends the next few weeks gathering supplies. Jerky, rations, ammo. As much of it as he can fit into his pack. On one of his patrols, he came upon a sporting goods store. Somehow, it hadn't been picked clean. He was able to find a map of Montana, and scored a new hiking backpack. Everything sits atop the kitchen table in his house. He doesn't use it for meals, there's nobody for him to eat with. The women that fall into his bed night after night are long gone before breakfast rolls around. He doesn't tell anyone his plan. He doesn't want it getting back to Tommy. Joel figures he will say goodbye to his brother, probably for the last time, on his way out. Joel still hasn't forgiven Tommy and suspects he won't any time soon. He doesn't hold out much hope that he'll make it out of this mission alive. He isn't sure that he wants to. But, on the off chance, he doesn't plan to ever come back to Jackson. He's done enough damage here.

By the time Joel is ready to begin his journey, a year has passed since Ellie’s death. They had spent almost a year together, traveling the country, camping in the woods, eating Chef Boyardee. When she first joined him and Tess on their trip out west, Joel couldn't wait to be rid of her. God, the way she chattered incessantly used to grate on Joel’s nerves. He remembers a time when he thought he might just feed himself to a clicker if he had to hear one more of her shitty puns. Now, he's spent a year without her, and there is nothing that he wouldn't give to hear just one more of them. He wishes that Marlene would have just done him the kindness of killing him. His life ended when Ellie's did. Once this is over, he'll have nothing left to fight for. Nothing left to keep going for.

Joel stands at the front door of what he no longer considers his house, and takes a long look around. He mourns the potential that this space once held for him. That day on the rooftop, feeding the giraffe with Ellie, Joel had actually let himself believe that he was going to get a happy ending. Everything he hadn’t dared to think he’d ever have again, not after Sarah, was within his grasp. He and Ellie were going to come back here and make this place something Joel hadn’t had in twenty years. Something that Ellie had never had. A home. Joel would cook dinner, and tell Ellie to be home by 11:00. Then he’d sit up on the couch when she inevitably wasn’t home by then. They’d paint her room and Joel would build her a dresser or something. He grieves the life they would have had together. Joel would teach her to be a better shot, Ellie would go to one of the town dances. He breathes in deeply and takes one last look around. And then he’s out the door, heading across the street. He knocks on Tommy’s door and Maria answers with the baby on her hip. He reaches out for his Uncle Joel, who he has become extremely fond of. “May I?” Joel asks, holding his arms out.

“Please.” Maria says, handing him the baby. “I could use a break. But if he needs a diaper change while you’ve got him, you’re on duty. That’s the rule.” She smiles and steps aside, inviting Joel in. “Tommy! Your brother’s here.” She calls out. Joel appreciates her for not mentioning just how odd it is that Joel has just dropped by, after a year of almost nothing. Of course, she’d bring the baby by to see him, sometimes she’d share a meal with him in the mess hall, wanting to make sure that her son knew his uncle.

“That’s not funny, babe.” Tommy says as he comes out of the kitchen, drying his hands on a threadbare towel. His eyebrows practically leap off his face when he sees Joel standing in his living room, holding his son. “Whaddya doin’ here, Joel?” Tommy asks, eyes filled with concern. Joel wouldn’t be here unless something was wrong. He doubts that his brother had suddenly decided to forgive him, unprompted.

“I’ll take the baby upstairs, it’s time for his nap.” Maria offers, holding her hands out.

Joel gives his nephew a kiss on the head. “See ya ‘round, kid.” He whispers quietly, giving him a soft squeeze. He goes happily to his mother and Maria gives Joel a kiss on the cheek.

“You take care of yourself, okay.” She says. Joel just nods in response.

“What’s up?” Tommy sits on the sofa and gestures for Joel to do the same. He shakes his head and hikes the strap of his pack higher up on his shoulder.

“Just wanted to let ya know I was leavin’.” Joel says. He clenches and unclenches his fist absently. “Alright, well, where ya goin”? Tommy asks. “Montana.” Joel replies. Tommy’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Okay, when ya comin’ back?” Joel looks down at the ground, but doesn’t say anything. “You are comin’ back ain’t ya?” Tommy prods. Joel sniffs and meets his brother’s gaze.

“I doubt it. Just wanted to let ya know so you don’t come lookin’ for me or anything.” Joel’s heart wrenches at the thought of this being his goodbye to his little brother. But he still isn’t willing to take back what he said, or apologize for it. Surprisingly, he has no idea that Tommy doesn’t need any of that shit. He just wants his big brother back. If only Joel knew that Tommy blamed himself for Sarah’s and Ellie’s deaths at least as much as Joel does, probably even more. Tommy stands from the couch and walks towards Joel. He holds his arms open and to his surprise, Joel steps into them. He wraps his own arms around Tommy and squeezes him tight. “I love you, little brother.” He tells Tommy.

“I love you too, Joel. See ya around.” Joel pats him on the back a few times and then he leaves Tommy’s house, and Jackson forever.

It takes Joel three months to catch up to Marlene. He searches every hospital from Bozeman to Billings. He finds little hints of her presence. Spray painted firefly symbols on the walls. Paperwork with scientific equations Joel wouldn’t understand if he’d spent a hundred years in school. Notes that indicate to him that the hack job they did on Ellie was all for nothing. They still didn’t have a cure, weren’t even close to getting one. By Joel’s count, the Fireflies had found at least seven other people who were immune. They had operated on them, same as Ellie. All seven of them had died, same as his daughter. Joel can’t help but wonder if they were left behind, all cut open and exposed, just like her, too. He takes refuge in an old apartment building in downtown Billings. He works his way up to the top floor, room by room, ensuring the building is clear of infected. Once he gets to the top floor, he finds the least disgusting apartment and sets up his sleeping bag on top of the rotting mattress. It wasn’t the best, nothing like the one back in Jackson, but it was a hell of a lot better than ground. At fifty seven years old, Joel could feel that his bones were getting a little too old for this kind of roughing it. He pries open the door to the roof and spends his days sleeping and his nights up there, watching through the scope of his rifle. Looking for any sign of life. On the third night he spots them. The building looks like it used to be a minor emergency clinic. Perfect for what the Fireflies need. He watches all night, until the sun comes up. Several men are stationed outside the building, but not too close. He sees Marlene peek her head out of the door once. She calls out to one of the men and he enters the building. Several trucks are parked at nearby buildings. They’re smart not to park them all together. He’s sure they don’t want to attract any unwanted attention. Of course they’re probably more worried about raiders than Joel.

He sleeps the afternoon away, wanting to be well rested for what he knows is about to happen. The sun is just beginning to set when Joel wakes. He changes his clothes and eats a few ration packs. Then he cleans his rifle and his pistol and takes count of all of his ammo. He tucks the pistol into the waistband of his jeans, at the small of his back. He slings the rifle strap over his shoulder and settles the gun across his chest. His Bowie knife goes into the top of his boot, and his switchblade in his back right pocket. For better or worse, this is it. No matter what, Joel is finishing this tonight. Once night falls, Joel walks down all fifteen flights of stairs. He takes a right when he exits the building. He’s already plotted a path, one that will take him all the way around the building. It allows him to take out each of the four men patrolling the building. Joel is a good hunter. He knows how to be quiet. He’s able to take out each of the men with his Bowie knife. None of them even have a chance to make a sound. Once Joel is certain that the threat outside the building is eliminated, he takes a full lap around the building. He tests every door, every window, finding each of them locked. Not that he expected anything less. Marlene might be insane, but she isn’t stupid. He spies a door that looks a little flimsy, and just as he suspected, the lock pops the second he slides his switchblade in. He takes a deep breath before he opens the door, preparing himself for who, or what might be on the other side.

Joel swings inward slightly and pauses. He doesn’t hear anything so he opens it all the way and steps into the dark hallway. He swings his flashlight around and finds nothing but a few closed doors. He puts his ear up to the doors, one by one, and hears nothing inside. He places his ear up against the door at the other end of the hallway and hears two distinct voices, speaking quietly. Joel has to be very precise with his decision moving forward. This won’t be like the men outside and he doesn’t have the luxury of using his knife for this. The second he begins shooting everyone will be on him. Everyone except Marlene, that is. They all have strict orders to protect her at all costs, keep her alive no matter who else must be sacrificed. Fuck it, Joel thinks, its now or never. Joel swings the door out into the hallway and gets lucky. It separates the two men and allows Joel to take them out, one at a time, one shot to the head each. Just as he expected, shouts come from further in the building. Joel sprints down the hallway and into a room, hoping that it's empty. Luckily it is. It looks to be an exam room that has been gutted. Unfortunately for Joel, there isn’t anywhere to hide in here, so he stands right next to the door. He pulls his pistol from his waistband and holds his arm out, parallel to the wall. He can hear the men, making their way down the hall, throwing open the door to every room. He steels himself, waiting for them to get to his room. The second the door opens he pulls the trigger. The man goes down. His friend comes in right behind and Joel takes him down the same way. He listens for a moment but doesn’t hear anyone else. He sweeps through the building taking down man after man. A man sneaks up behind him. His right ear is bad, so he doesn’t hear him until the last second. Joel turns around and the man's knife sinks into his abdomen. Joel shoots him with his pistol and pulls the knife out, dropping it to the floor. Finally he makes his way to the most interior room. He tried the knob but the door is locked.

“Joel!” He hears from inside. Marlene. “You don’t want to do this, Joel.” She cries.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve been wantin’ to do this.” He calls back. He steps back and kicks the door open. Marlene and Dr. Anderson are in the room, along with his nurses. In the middle of the room is an operating table. A girl, fourteen or fifteen, lies on the table. She’s unconscious, with a tube in her nose. Marlene stands behind her, with a gun to her head.

“One wrong move and I pull the trigger. Don’t test me, Joel.” Marlene snarls.

“Don’t you do it.” Joel tells her. Dr. Anderson moves toward Joel with his scalpel, eerily similar to the way he had a year before. Joel doesn’t hesitate this time, he swings his arm around and fires. The man drops dead at Joel’s feet.

“NO!” Cries Marlene.

Before she even has a chance to do the same, Joel shoots her, right in the middle of her forehead. The two nurses cower in the corner, trembling in fear. “You wake her up and return her to her family, in one piece. If she doesn’t have one, then you take care of her. No more experimentin’, no cuttin’ her open.” The women look up at Joel with tear-filled eyes and nod. “I mean it. I’ve found y’all twice, now. I can find you again, if need be.” Joel doesn’t wait for a response, he just turns and leaves the room. He gets into one of the trucks and drives off, as quick as he can, in the direction of the highway. He pulls over to study his map for a moment, trying to decide where to go. The only place he can think of is Jackson. Back to Tommy, to what remains of his family. The truck runs out of gas just after he passes a sign for Cody, Wyoming. He double checks his bandages and gets out of the car, preparing to walk. He only makes it a few miles before the blood loss gets to be too much. He stumbles off the road and into the snow. Then he hears her. His Ellie, calling for him. But he can’t find her.

I no longer have a taglist! Please follow @ramble-on-fics and click “get notifications’ for updates

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel tlou #joel miller x you #the last of us #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #cw child loss #tw child loss #cw sui ideation #tw sui ideation

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 3 months

Note

hi Jake! I absolutely love your blogs, and I’m wondering if you can do some Homicidal Liu/liu woods hcs? :3 please & thank you!!

GUH LIU <333 He's my special guy I love him

TW: Mentions of abuse, trauma, very light gore, a little angst

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General Liu Headcanons

The biggest thing about Liu that effects his day to day life is his DID

He grew up in a very dysfunctional home, where his parents only really had kids as makeshift butlers and to live vicariously through them

Liu, being the older brother had a lot of the "harder" tasks given to him such as cooking for the family, making sure everyone had clean clothes, when jeff was a baby he had to change jeff's diapers, etc

So both kids were very mentally unstable from the start, but what really set the hammer in the coffin for Liu developing DID was that whenever he either did something wrong or didn't do his "chores", he was severely punished by being locked in a closet with no food, water or bathroom privileges for unknown amounts of time

This being said, he has waaay more alters than just Sully, Sully is just the one that fronts the most due to Sully being the main protector of the system

Other than Sully, Liu's system is made up of mostly littles and caretaker alters

Which can be very scary at times, so he does everything in his power to make sure that if someone does happen to front, it isn't any of the littles

Ok, i'm done talking about his DID now

I imagine him to either be fully Columbian or mixed Columbian with American

Jeff is the same way

Speaking of Jeff, Liu is about 5 years older than Jeff

Also on the topic of Jeff, Liu still very much loves his brother, and understands that during the "incident" he was very mentally unstable and he wasn't entirely in control of his own actions at the moment

But after being reunited with Jeff, it took a very, very long time for Liu to even stay in the front of his mind when around Jeff, let alone feel safe around him

Over the years, their relationship has significantly improved

Liu still doesn't feel comfortable being alone with Jeff, or even really going anywhere with Jeff, but he is able to hang out with him and talk

His height is around 5'9"

He always smells like vanilla and sometimes like a grandma's perfume

SPEAKING OF GRANDMAS

Liu is a total grandma

He says "oh lordy lord" after waking up from a long nap, he does the english teacher cardigan tuck, he says "kids these days", etc

But he's chill guys I swear (Jeff come get your boy he just said "Flabbergasted" in front of the hoes)

Also he loves plants

so much

someone stop this guy

It started out innocent enough, just a few plants to take care of because he read that taking care of plants can help with depression

And then he kind of spiraled

He has names for all of them, designated personalities, sometimes he knits them clothes for their pots

He's generally a very quiet guy

I wouldn't say shy per se....but he's like....shy in a cool history teacher way

guys he takes it up the butt

Woah who said that??? wild. Anyways!

He's so gentle and calming guh..

Love that guy, he's so special to me

ALSO he doesn't techincally have any pets but like...there's this one stray cat that comes around that he feeds and in return the cat brings him little dead things

He's named him "Harold Jackson"

He likes to read

He's one of those booktok girlies with all the tabs and highlighters

Genuinely squeals like a bitch when he sees a "Penguin Classics" book out in public

(I'm projecting onto him)

His proxy tattoo is on his shoulder, like right on top of it

He got his ears pierced at the young young age of 25 (reluctantly. Jeff forced him)

And now he wears all sorts of fun earrings! (he wears those e-boy cross earrings...)

His spotify wrapped consisted of David Bowie, Hozier, Cigarettes after sex, and mitski

His favorite color is beige and his hobbies include ironing clothes and sending emails <33

Guys idk if you can tell but i love him a lot

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #homicidal liu x reader #homicidal liu #homocidal liu #liu woods

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poemaseletras · 10 months

Text

ENCONTRE UM AUTOR:

Envie sugestões. Leia uma citação no modo aleatório.

Autores Desconhecidos

Adélia Prado

Adrian Tchaikovsky

Affonso Romano de Sant’anna

Alain de Botton

Albert Einstein

Aldous Huxley

Alexander Pushkin

Amanda Gorman

Anaïs Nin

Andy Warhol

Andy Wootea

Anna Quindlen

Anne Frank

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Aristóteles

Arnaldo Jabor

Arthur Schopenhauer

Augusto Cury

Ben Howard

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Benjamin Rush

Bill Keane

Bob Dylan

Brigitte Nicole

C. JoyBell C.

C.S. Lewis

Carl Jung

Carlos Drummond de Andrade

Carlos Fuentes

Carol Ann Duffy

Carol Rifka Brunt

Carolina Maria de Jesus

Caroline Kennedy

Cassandra Clare

Cecelia Ahern

Cecília Meireles

Cesare Pavese

Charles Baudelaire

Charles Chaplin

Charlotte Nsingi

Cheryl Strayed

Clarice Lispector

Claude Debussy

Coco Chanel

Connor Franta

Coolleen Hoover

Cora Coralina

Czesław Miłosz

Dale Carnegie

David Hume

Deborah Levy

Djuna Barnes

Dmitri Shostakovich

Douglas Coupland

Dream Hampton

E. E. Cummings

E. Grin

E. Lockhart

EA Bucchianeri

Edith Wharton

Ekta Somera

Elbert Hubbard

Elizabeth Acevedo

Elizabeth Strout

Emile Coue

Emily Brontë

Ernest Hemingway

Esther Hicks

Faraaz Kazi

Farah Gabdon

Fernando Pessoa

Fiódor Dostoiévski

Florbela Espanca

Franz Kafka

Frédéric Chopin

Fredrik Backman

Friedrich Nietzsche

Galileu Galilei

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

George Orwell

Hafiz

Hanif Abdurraqib

Helen Oyeyemi

Henry Miller

Henry Rollins

Hilda Hilst

Iain Thomas

Immanuel Kant

Jacki Joyner-Kersee

James Baldwin

James Patterson

Jane Austen

Jean Jacques Rousseau

Jean Rhys

Jean-Paul Sartre

Jeremy Hammond

JK Rowling

João Guimarães Rosa

Joe Brock

Johannes Brahms

John Banville

John C. Maxwell

John Green

John Wooden

Jojo Moyes

Jorge Amado

José Leite Lopes

Joy Harjo

Juan Ramón Jiménez

Juansen Dizon

Katrina Mayer

Kurt Cobain

L.J. Smith

L.M. Montgomery

Leo Tolstoy

Lisa Kleypas

Lord Byron

Lord Huron

Louise Glück

Lucille Clifton

Ludwig van Beethoven

Lya Luft

Machado de Assis

Maggi Myers

Mahmoud Darwish

Manila Luzon

Manuel Bandeira

Marcel Proust

Margaret Mead

Marina Abramović

Mario Quintana

Mark Yakich

Marla de Queiroz

Martha Medeiros

Martin Luther King

Mary Oliver

Mattia

Maya Angelou

Mehdi Akhavan-Sales

Melissa Cox

Michaela Chung

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Mitch Albom

N.K. Jemisin

Neal Shusterman

Neil Gaiman

Nicholas Sparks

Nietzsche

Nikita Gill

Nora Roberts

Ocean Vuong

Osho

Pablo Neruda

Patrick Rothfuss

Patti Smith

Paulo Coelho

Paulo Leminski

Perina

Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Phil Good

Pierre Ronsard

Platão

Poe

R.M. Drake

Raamai

Rabindranath Tagore

Rachel de Queiroz

Ralph Emerson

Raymond Chandler

René Descartes

Reyna Biddy

Richard Kadrey

Richard Wagner

Ritu Ghatourey

Roald Dahl

Robert Schumann

Roy T. Bennett

Rumi

Ruth Rendell

Sage Francis

Séneca

Sérgio Vaz

Shirley Jackson

Sigmund Freud

Simone de Beauvoir

Spike Jonze

Stars Go Dim

Steve Jobs

Stephen Chbosky

Stevie Nicks

Sumaiya

Susan Gale

Sydney J. Harris

Sylvester McNutt

Sylvia Plath

Sysanna Kaysen

Ted Chiang

Thomas Keneally

Thomas Mann

Truman Capote

Tyler Knott Gregson

Veronica Roth

Victor Hugo

Vincent van Gogh

Virgílio Ferreira

Virginia Woolf

Vladimir Nabokov

Voltaire

Wale Ayinla

Warsan Shire

William C. Hannan

William Shakespeare

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Yasmin Mogahed

Yoke Lore

Yoko Ogawa

#frases #textos #citações #livros #autores #escritores #books

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 6 months

Text

Bayverse Headcanon: What kind of music do they like?

Idk why I had to do this, but I just had to.

Also, one day I might make more detailed versions of these scenarios.

Warning: Long af, spelling bc I'm dyslexic.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Leonardo:

There are a few sides to the leader in blue. The part that sits in the dojo for hours, meditating in complete silence. Probably one of the few things he had to practice on - meditating with noises all around him. And then there’s the part of him that listens to music, while doing mundane things. Whether it would be cleaning his room, taking a shower, a warm up before training or just chilling in his room or on the rooftops. Leo do enjoy music a lot, he just has clear rules for when he can hear it. No modern music in the dojo! Martial arts should be honored, and to do it in other that silence would be an insult to the arts and the old masters. But outside of the dojo, it would be possible to find Leo with a pair of headphones on every once in a while.

Leo is a rock kid. Not heavy metal - no - that is just not Leo’s kind of music. But old school rock and maybe even glam rock. It was usually music with prominent guitar or bass that he often found himself listening to. It kind of fitted the way he saw himself. Th stoic leader on the rooftop, fighting with an edgy soundtrack in his head. Edgy and cool being the way he described it in his own head. It gave him a slight tingle in his stomach, when he jumped from roof to roof with his headphones on, listening to certain rock songs. He felt like a true leader, jumping high over people’s head, listening to “Zitti E Buoni” by Måneskin. When really feeling it alone in the shower, with the same song booming from his blue bluetooth speaker, he would channel his inner Damiano David, singing along to the fast part without any mistakes. Now, Leo is not usually the one to sing along to songs. He doesn't even hum that often, but when he does, it is usually in the shower. But there was this one time Raph walked past the bathroom, while Leo was screaming his heart out to a Måneskin song. Usually Raph would find a way to make fun of his brother for such a thing, but this time Raph decided not to, mainly because it didn’t sound near as bad as Raph though Leo’s singing would do.

Another artist Leo would be singing along to in the shower is Micheal Jackson. He might even do a few dance moves, but he would NEVER IN HIS LIFE, do them outside of a locked bathroom.

One of Leo’s favorite bands had to be Blur. He really liked Damon Albarn’s voice and the guitar of Graham Coxon, and would often find himself listening to them before going to bed. At one point, Leo even tried to sneak out to see all of Blur play live. Did he get in? Yes. Did he watch them from somewhere just below the roof? Yes. Did the bassist spot Leo, blink in confusion, only to look back up to find the spot Leo had been hiding in empty, with Leo having fled the scene? Yes, and that’s why Leo doesn’t do concerts anymore. But he never told his brothers. Mikey would not be happy to know that Leo had sneaked into a concert, while having told Mikey time and time again that he wasn’t allowed to.

Leo has a thing for languages when it comes to music. He grew up in New York City with English as his first language, with Japanese from Splinter following right after as his second. He decided to learn Spanish, just in case it would get useful, and since he had an Italian first name, he also learned Italien. That would probably explain some of his love for Måneskin. But Leo just really liked languages. He doesn’t have to understand the lyrics in order to enjoy it. One prime example of that is the song “Stefania” by KALUSH and Kalush orchestra, even though it is hip hop in genre. Did Leo understand any Ukrainian? Nope. But did he have a general idea of what the song was about, and found the Ukrainian language beautiful and interesting? Yes, very much. He found the courage of Ukraine inspiring, and would often use that inspiration in his training, which is why this is one of the very few songs he will actually train to outside of warm ups.

A true bedroom song for Leo is “Demoni” by Joker Out. He wouldn’t do much while listening to that. He would just lay in bed with headphones one, eyes closed while either bobbing his head or right foot to the beat. Leo isn't much of a dancer, but more a bobber. That was usually how his brothers knew if he liked a certain song; he would bob his head slightly to the beat. That only fueled Mikey’s imagination, creating a picture in his head of Leo head banging in his room to heavy metal, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Stoic Leo didn’t head bang, but he did move at least his head or foot lightly.

Now, what does Leo’s brothers like about his music taste? Well, to be honest, most of the time they weren’t too sure what kind of music Leo liked. They did know that he was into rock, and they knew very well that at this point that he liked Måneskin and Micheal Jackson. But there was this one time while driving the garbage truck, that Leo somehow got in charge of the aux. None of the guys really knew what to expect, but “Gladiator” by Jann wasn’t it. Mikey even said something along the lines of; “emo Leo doesn’t listen to My Chemical Romance”, causing Leo to remember once again, why he normally didn’t want to be in charge of the aux, and liked keeping his music to himself.

Raphael:

Raph listens to music quite often. Probably not as often as Mikey, but still at way more than Donnie and Leo. One of the main reasons why Raph listens to so much music is - you probably guessed it - training. He would often lift his weights to the beat of the music, in a way that most humans could only dream of doing. But he would also listen to music on his own, either riding his motorcycle through the streets of New York City at night, or while knitting in his room.

A favorite song of Raphael’s to ride his motorcycle to was “Would You Ever” by Skrillex and Poo Bear. Swerving in and out of traffic, causing people to yell in anger in his direction, or causing groups of girls to giggle and point at the mysterious bad boy that just rode past them. Covered in a helmet and covered in a big leather jacket and cloves, he looks like a big hunk of a man, showing off his motorcycle. But would Raph play his music out loud while riding down the street? Normally he would not. But there was this one time he just couldn’t help himself. Stopping at a red light, Raph found himself beside an open roofed car, filled with giggling human girls. Most of them were tipsy, and Raph wouldn’t be too surprised if the girl in front of the steering wheel was too. Obviously, they had something for big guys, as they started asking about his name, how old he was, where he lived, or if they could get a ride on his motorcycle. Or if he would come ride with them. Raph didn’t say anything, he just pressed a button on his motorcycle, causing the music to disconnect from his helmet, and started playing from his motorcycle speakers. He saluted them, just as the light turned green, riding away while the girls stared at him in awe. In his opinion, it was very much worth it.

Raph has quite a few songs he liked lifting weights to. One of them being “Hello” by Will.I.Am. When Raphael is lifting weights, he will do it proud and loud, playing his music on a red speaker, much to the annoyance of Leonardo, who very much wants to meditate. When it came to boxing, Raph would often listen to Eminem, hyping himself up with the music or the angry lyrics, causing Mikey to ask him what the hell Eminem had done to him, since he would get the need to hit something whenever he heard his voice.

Raph would almost always find a reason to listen to Eminem. When Raph was angry and wanted to hit something; “Kamikaze”. Should Raph ever find himself mad at a woman; “Farewell”. Was Raph ever in a good mood and just wanted to dance and have fun; “Shake that”. But somehow, when Raph was sad, he wouldn’t listen to Emniem. If he was sad and decided to box, he would listen to The Weeknd. Mikey caught on to that pretty fast, and would do his little brother duty to bring up Raph’s mood, whenever he would hear the voice of The Weeknd from Raph's room.

Like Leo, Raph would also listen to music while showering. But it was while being alone in the bathroom, that Raph would listen to much that wasn’t often associated with big angry muscle men like him. It would often be more pop than electronic or hip hop. And god, how Raph hoped none of his brothers would hear him sing along to “i don’t wanna talk about love”, by Micheal Medrano. Raphael could just shut up and shower in silence, but nope, a man got to groove in the shower. Luckily for Raph, only Donnie had heard him once. Had Donnie laughed his ass off as soon as he got to his room afterwards? Yes, oh my god yes he had. But did he tell Mikey and Leo about it? Nope, he did not. But he did tell April and you about it though, and what a laugh you guys had over the phone.

Raph would never admit it to anyone, but he did listen to Madonna, and he did enjoy it. It started with “Future” by Madonna and Quavo, and before he knew it, he was sitting in his room enjoying both “Like A Prayer” and “Like A Virgin”, which led to him singing “Hung Up” in the shower. Madonna would lead to Dua Lipa, and before Raph even realized what was happening, half of his playlist would be pop power women. Loreen, Lady Gaga, old Miley Cyrus songs. And did he know the lyrics? Oh yes he did. And one time, his brothers would catch him listening to at least one of them.

It was one of those days where each turtle seemed to be doing their own thing, which left Raph alone with his work out equipment and his speaker. As usual it started out with Eminem, Juicy J, Kanye West and others, before suddenly “Rendez Vouz” by INNA. That caught Mikey’s attention, and once he heard and saw Raph dance and sing along from his hiding spot, he went to find Leo and Donnie. And oh, how they fought to keep from laughing when Raph started feeling himself too much, working out to “Work Bitch” by Brittney Spears. After that, the phrase “get to work bitch”, was used quite often around Raph.

Donatello:

The purple scientist is very straightforward with his taste in music. If he likes it, he listens to it. He often has music playing while doing stuff in his lab. Sometimes calming lofi music in hopes that it could get him sleepy, but that usually didn’t work very often. Instead Donnie would often find himself listening to music from the indie scene, or what some people on the internet might call vibey music. Aesthetic music. What aesthetic, you might ask? Well, Donnie had no idea, and he most differently thought that the internet had no idea either. One of these so-called vibe or aesthetic pop songs was “HEAVEN AND BACK” by Chase Atlantic. Tapping away on his computer or connecting whatever hard drive, he found that the music helped him concentrate at the task in front of him.

Though Donnie didn’t seem to notice, his brothers did. Most of the songs he listened to had some not so happy lyrics. Often quite depressive, covered over with bass, keyboard, drum kit and sometimes even a saxophone. At one point Leo had brought this concern up with Donnie, causing the purple turtle shrug.

“Music is music. I listen to what I like”, he said, making another cup of coffee, before going back to work in his lab.

Those few times Donnie finally left his lab to relax in his room, he would read a book, listen to songs like “Quite Quitting” by NOT A TOY. To Donnie, music was mainly background noise, helping him to shut out his loud brothers so he could focus. What the lyrics said didn’t bother him too much. But there is one thing Donnie notices in most of the music he listens to; a smooth bass. It didn’t have to be a loud bass, often becoming part of the background with the drums, being overshadowed by smooth special effects or the singing. Donnie really like bass, but he also like smooth keyboards. There had been times where he had thought of getting a bass or keyboard, or maybe even make them himself. Mikey had his drum set, so Donnie might as well get a few instruments of his own.

Like Leo, Donnie liked to listen to music on the rooftops every once in a while. But unlike his brother, Donnie would usually stay at the same roof, remembering the names of stars, plants and constellations on the sky above him, while listening to songs like “ALIENS” by The Griswolds and Transviolet, wearing big soft headphones. Comfort over looks was important for Donnie, and being a mutant turtle hiding from the people of New York City, he didn’t give a crap about what his headphones look like. He thought they were nice, and he likes to wear them, and that was enough for him. His brothers, on the other hand, thought they were chunky and strange, to which he could only say it was good they were his headphones and not theirs. And it was at nights like those, that Donnie thought of how, maybe his brothers were right about his taste in music. He might be a little different from them, like how the alien was described in the song he was listening to. Not that he worried too much about it. He liked his head and the brain inside it, and with that came being different. That’s just how it was.

But not all the music Donnie listens to is filled with sadness and depression. Songs such as “Strange Clouds” by ufo ufo were a good morning song according to Donnie. When he woke up after finally having had a full night's sleep, he would listen to songs like that, while making breakfast or making his coffee. But then later in the day, sitting in front of the computer screen, once again not being able to sleep, he would listen to stuff like “Numb” by 8 graves. It was the lyrics from that song that had made Leo’s alarm bells ring. Mikey on the other hand wasn’t too worried. He just called Donnie’s music taste “calm edge lord, that doesn’t need to try hard”.

Now, if there was one artist Donatello had to say was his favorite, it would probably be Mystery Skulls, especially “Stronger”. A nice bass in front and center, backed up with synth all around. But Donnie also really liked Luke Black. Way different from all the other music Donnie would listen to, yet he really liked it. He would probably never admit it to his brothers, but he did listen to the lyrics of Luke Black, and he did find it more than a little interesting.

Michelangelo:

Mikey - or as he like to call himself; DJ Mikey - listens to music all the time, every day, everywhere, rarely turning down for the sake of any of his brothers, blasting it oh so loud on his orange speaker, only putting headphones on if his brothers threatened him. Or if Master Splinter asked him to.

He sang along, danced along, sometimes even to the embarrassment of others, like the many times he would scream along to “Turn It Up” by Oliver Tree, Little Big and Tommy Cash.

Mikey likes big, loud and up beat music. Something he can move his body to and be his little happy self. It could be anything from pop to hip hop, maybe even electronic or EDM. It would usually consist of him listening to the same few songs over and over again, until he is getting slightly tired of them, while his brothers are ready to rip their heads off, or maybe dig into their skulls to rip their ears out.

With Mikey being his small ADHD self, it wouldn’t be strange for him to listen to music made by people with ADHD for people with ADHD, making a big deal out of it. One of those songs being “Irresponsible” by Emei. There was this one time he almost made Donnie deaf by blasting the song into his ears while scream: "This song is made for me!"

Much to Leo’s annoyance, Mikey didn’t follow his rule of “no music in the dojo”, since Mikey often found it easier to train with music. This man can do all of his katas perfectly, if only “Hypnodancer” by Little Big is playing in the background.

If there is one thing Mikey likes, it is listening to “Pac-man” by Gorillaz, and making eating pizza into his own version of pac man, in which his brothers are the ghosts, and he has to steal pizza from them. At this point, his older brothers know to keep a good eye on their food as soon as that song starts playing... Or if he just plays Gorillaz at all.

Another thing Mikey likes when it comes to music, is when his brothers somehow enjoy what he’s playing. It had happened before, and it would most likely happen again. Mikey sat in the middle of the lair, happily dancing where he sat while reading comics, playing “Go Bananas” by Little Big. Raph didn’t growl at him from his bench press, but instead started to lift the weights on every other beat. Donnie sat at his computer, pressing the keys of his keyboard in beat with the song, probably without noticing. And Leo was bobbing his head ever so slightly while sharpening his katanas. This had Mikey over the moon, which only caused him to want to play more music for his brothers. Every once in a while they would let him do it, just to make their little brother happy. That was the main reason why Mikey is the aux guy.

When Mikey decided to skateboard, he would most often do it with old school hip hop playing. As a turtle in the sewers of New York, that only made sense to him, which is why he often would skate up and down the sewers, vibing with “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five. And of course Mikey could rap the whole thing. Now, this was one of those few songs that Leo, Raph and Donnie didn’t mind Mikey playing over and over again.

But then there were those times on patrol where Mikey just would start singing out of nowhere. When he started breaking into “Sax” by Fleur East, complete with thought out dance moves in the way only Mikey could do it, Raph was ready to throw him off the roof and down to ongoing traffic.

It would be no surprise to tell you that one of Mikey’s favorite artists is Little Big, and that he also loves Gorillaz. But he would also quite often listen to the music that his brothers were playing. He very well knew that Leo loved listening to Blur, and that most of Raph’s playlist was made up of power women, and that Donnie’s secret favorite was Luke Black. And of course Mikey could sing every single word to the songs of his brothers' favorite artists, being the little attentive brother that he is. And because his music taste had room for more than theirs had.

—----------------------------------------------------------

You can tell I’m European, can’t you?

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how-serene · 1 month

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⁺⁎˚ M A S T E R L I S T ˚⁎⁺

Last Updated - 5.26.24

SCENARIO'S -

Slow Dancing In The Dark

What it would be like to slow dance with Johnson, Jack Delroy, and Bob Taylor.

Just Say You'll Hold Me

What it's like to cuddle/hug Abner Krill, Bob Taylor and James Lewis.

Needing Something Sweet

What it would be like to kiss/make out with Jack Delroy, Murdoc and Wojchek.

Needing Something Sweet pt. 2

What it would be like to kiss/make out with Abner Krill, Johnson and Bob Taylor.

They Came From Outer Space

What surviving the killer klowns would be like with Abner Krill, Bob Taylor and Murdoc.

Angel Face - Catalog (drabbles and one-shots)

DAVID DASTMALCHIAN ONE SHOTS -

Try A Little Tenderness | Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

Bob comes home to find you, and the sweetest surprise.

Trouble (Request) | Johnson (Reprisal) x Neutral!Reader

Life really wasn't fair.

Stay Awhile | Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

After a rough day, you help Bob shower.

Wait For You | Wojchek x Fem!Reader

After weeks away at sea, Wojchek finally returns home to you.

With Love (Request) | Abner Krill x Neutral!Reader

Abner surprises you for your birthday.

Rainy Days (Request) | Kurt Goreshter x Neutral!Reader

While you're suffering with the flu, Kurt looks after you.

Upside Down (Request) | Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

The aftermath of Bob confiding in reader.

Oh, My Love (Request) | Johnson (Reprisal) x Fem!Reader

On some days, we all need a little pick me up.

Choice (Request) | Johnson (Reprisal) x Neutral!Reader

You ask Johnson a question that's been weighing on you for a while now.

How Do You Sleep (Request) | Johnson (Reprisal) x Fem!Reader

Despite Johnson being there, loneliness still creeps up on you.

Baby, you're just harder to see than most (Request) | Bob Taylor x Neutral!Reader

Bob brings you flowers, once again.

MICHAEL JACKSON ONE SHOTS -

Talk Slow | Darryl x Neutral!Reader

A late night conversation leads to Darryl finally being honest with you.

Next To You | Darryl x Fem!Reader

Fed up with your parents' constantly arguing, you confide in Darryl.

SERIES -

Devil I Know | Obsessive!Jack Delroy x Fem!Reader

(out now)

#david dastmalchian #masterlist #johnson reprisal #jack delroy #bob taylor #james lewis #abner krill #mr wojchek #kurt goreshter #michael jackson

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bloodredfountainpen · 22 days

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Humanity, Friends Yeah!

Hi there randos who may or may not ever see this, I quit reddit so guess who’s reposting all their writing to tumblr? It’s me. If I’ve broken some ancient tumblr law, please tell me. Without further ado, here’s Humanity, Friends Yeah!

——————————————————————————

Well, it was going to end eventually.

For the past two years, I’d lived covertly among the humans of the cargo ship Big Berta. For two years, I was one of them, Engineer David Jackson, as generic as they come. My job was to maintain the various robots on the ship, in essence, to make sure that the routine of the ship kept chugging along. It wasn’t difficult work, nor was it boring, in fact I enjoyed it very much. I wasn’t a daring pilot like Ito, a genius doctor like Hernandez, or a courageous leader like Captain Frasier, but I was appreciated nonetheless. Yes, the humans liked me. They befriended me, rather than leaving me to stew in the shadows. My mistake was letting them do that, that and getting so damn attached. That was the reason it was doomed to end.

It happened so fast, one minute I was inspecting a cleaning droid that Hernandez had taped a kitchen knife to for some reason, the next I was being lead to the bridge at gunpoint by pirates. The pirates demanded our cargo and all of our money, and the Captain was prepared to give it in exchange for our lives, but then Ito tried to be a hero and take down the pirate leader, but the pirates were quicker. Instead of shooting Ito, they gave the captain a choice; to spare the crew with her own life as payment, or save herself and the rest of us would be gunned down. Either way, our haul wasn’t enough to pay for our release anymore. They wanted blood. Captain Frasier, the selfless bastard that she is, chose to spare us.

The pirate leader raised his side arm, ready to send the Captain into the next iteration. Ready to take away my best friend my commanding officer.

I shifted before I could think, choosing the form of a Tanurian Warbeast. Those pirates never stood a chance against my plasma proof scales and razor sharp claws and fangs. By the time my awareness returned, the rest of the crew was staring at me. I searched their eyes for the fear, then recognition, and finally disgust that Others always have when they find out what I am. I briefly contemplated violence as a means of escape, but rejected the notion because we were in the middle of space, and furthermore, I couldn’t bring myself to hurt them.

I shifted again, returning to my true form. I hadn’t been like this in some time, this form felt unfamiliar after all this time. The last time I’d been like this, I was young, with my mother. I hadn’t been able to shift from form to form directly then, and I needed to take another form so we could board a transport out of the sector. That was the last time I ever saw her…

In truth, I’d always known it would come to this. My time on the Big Berta had been too good for me, too nice. Nice things never last very long for my kind, I was honestly surprised it went on for as long as it had. Still, these humans had liked me well enough, I thought that maybe I could convince them to let me off. I’d just saved their entire haul and lives after all, and they didn’t strike me as the greedy type. None of them needed the money from the bounty on my kind, maybe if I begged they’d have mercy.

I knelt, long thin legs folding beneath me as I put my head down. I willed myself to speak, and after a moment, the words emerged, crackling and shaky.

“Please, I’m still the same Jackson you know. I know I’m not who you thought I was, but we’ve spent two years on the same sh-ship, as friends. Please, don’t turn me in. You know what they do to my kind. I won’t be in the way, you won’t e-even have to see me! I can be a small rodent, I won’t even eat! Please, please…”

I looked up for a moment to see if I had a whispered prayer of swaying them, though I didn’t dare to meet their eyes. I saw in their faces… amusement?

I’m done for

I had to change tactics, I refused to give up, it didn’t matter that I knew I had already been lost.

“No-no wait! I can… I can become a beast of burden! Or an att-tractive female of your species! O-or a male! Or whatever you wish me to be! Just please spare me, I am at your disposal! And your mercy…”

I’d run out of steam, all that I could do was hope against all odds that something I’d said had swayed them. I kept my head down as I let out a hiccuping sob, a habit I’d picked up from the humans no less, which is why tears refused to come forth, no matter how I wished they would.

Over the ringing in my ears, I heard Ito burst out in laughter.

“Ha! I told you he was a shifter! You idiots owe me fifty creds each! Haha!”

In an instant, the other two began to laugh as well, and I slowly raised my head to look at them, utterly baffled.

“No way, I could’ve sworn he was a Culi spy,” said Hernandez in shock.

“And I really thought he was a synth! Swear to god Ito, your instincts are on point,” the Captain chuckled as she took out her cred stick.

After paying Ito, she approached me, and I again ducked down, trying to look humble and meek. All I could muster was a pitiful “Please…” as I froze in place.

She knelt down to my level, “Jackson… did you really think we��d turn you in?”

I cautiously met her eyes. I didn’t quite believe what I had heard, and so I had to ask, “Do you mean to say that you’re not?” and when the Captain nodded, and I released the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Relief overcame me, “Thank you so much, I swear on my life you won’t regret it.”

“Now why in the world would I regret not turning my friend in to the bastards who want him dead? You do know we care about you, right?” She queried, and I found myself internally chuckling with mirth. She had no idea how quickly friends turn to foes when money of that magnitude is involved.

“Yes I know, but my kind don’t…” I paused to think of the best way to phrase it, “People usually stop caring for us once they find out. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but, may… may I stay on the ship?”

Captain Frasier sighed and smiled at me, “Of course, dumbass.”

All the tension I’d been holding evaporated, and without thinking I shifted back to my human form, and immediately tears welled in my eyes.

The Captain beckoned me to rise from my prostrated position. At once, the crew battered me with a barrage of questions, most regarding my capabilities as a shapeshifter. Of course, I answered them all with bewildered honesty, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. I doubt they’re letting me stay for nothing, my rational side kicked in, just wait, I’ll see how safe I am once they decide how they’ll use me. Finally, Ito asked me for a demonstration, and I felt the tension return as she made up her mind as to what form she’d like to see. Finally, she made her decision. “Can you shift into a dinosaur?” she asked with a certain child like enthusiasm in her voice.

Immediately, Hernandez socked her in the arm and laughed, “Now how would he know what a dino looks like huh? Do you think before you open your big mouth?”

The Captain rolled her eyes at the two as I just stood there in disbelief at their levity. “How ‘bout we start with something simple, yeah?” she asked, “can you do a dog?”

I nodded, then held the picture of the dog, a friendly golden retriever, steady in my mind as I shifted. The transformation complete, I looked up to the Captain through my now limited color perception, as the other two quit their bickering to look at me. She let out a long whistle which, based on my research of human vocal expressions, was meant to convey that she was impressed.

“Ain’t any less amazing the second time ‘round,” she paused as she studied my form. I felt as though she was scrutinizing my very soul and judging my worth. I sent up a silent prayer that I’d been good enough. After what was only a few moments, but felt to me as a thousand years, she seemed to remember herself and said “you can, uh, go back to normal now.”

Following my Captain’s command, I returned to my human form. “Jackson,” she began, taking a serious tone, a harsh departure from the joviality that perturbed me so, “I don’t know who you are, or where you came from, and frankly, we’ve all been through too much this evening for me to give a flying fuck about any of that. However, I’ve seen how you act; you’re jumpy and nervous all the time, you’re a recluse, and you’re the best damn droid mechanic I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet.” She stuck out her hand, “I want you to stay, and clearly you want to stay, but to make that work, you have to trust us. I know that’s hard, but can you try?”

I took her hand, shook it firmly as was human custom. My mind was racing, but one thought echoed clear. This is my home, and these humans are the closest thing I have to a family. I can trust them, in spite of everything, I know I can. Then, another, quieter thought made itself known. A thought all too familiar, that nonetheless made the whole affair bittersweet. I just hope it lasts

#humanity fuck yeah #writing #original story

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