Hidden Feelings - Vivianne Miedema Imagine
DISCLAIMER: I know Lisa is a sweet smol bean and would probably never do this but for the sake of the story we gotta pretend she do hehe. Also the name of this is cheesy I admit I had no better ideas.
“That was bloody exhausting,” Viv declared at the top of her voice as we walked into the apartment.
“You’re just lazy,” I replied with a laugh, and Viv gave me a playful shove.
“Hou je kop,” she said jokingly (shut your mouth), and the smile on her face made my stomach do a little somersault.
“Lisa?” Viv shouted, but there was no answer, “She’s probably still at the gym,”
“We should get started though,” I said, nodding at the grocery bags she was holding.
“Right,” she said with another smile, before heading into the kitchen. When she was out of earshot, I let out a breath I had been holding in and closed my eyes to calm my beating heart.
“Pathetic,” I muttered to myself, before following her into the kitchen.
“You excited for national training this year?” I asked, as we unpacked the dinner ingredients.
“Definitely. I mean it’s always tough, but the team is really great,” she said with a nod, before winking and giving me a nudge, “Especially with a brilliant new addition,”
I let out a laugh. “We’ll see about brilliant, but I’m definitely excited,” I replied.
I had recently turned 20, which is a late age to start playing for a national team, but I had been out for recent knee injury and they agreed to sign me on for this season to see how I fit with the team. I had met Viv playing for Arsenal, where I had started playing age 18. Earlier that day Viv and I had both been feeling homesick, and so we had made a last-minute decision to buy the ingredients for ‘Boerenkool’ and make it for dinner.
“Babe I’m home,” shouted Lisa’s voice, as I heard the door slam.
“In the kitchen!” Viv shouted, and Lisa walked through the door, looking startled by my appearance.
“Oh! Y/N’s here?” she asked. Whilst Viv remained oblivious, I didn’t miss the slight tone in which she said my name.
“Yeah, we thought we’d make some traditional Dutch food, since we were feeling homesick,” Viv replied.
“Sounds good,” Lisa said with a shrug, before leaning in and giving Viv an extra-long kiss. I looked away quickly and fussed over the food, not only because it was awkward, but seeing Viv with someone else made me feel like somebody had closed a fist over my heart.
“Let’s eat!” I said, and they separated. As I carried the food over to the table, I could feel Lisa’s piercing gaze on the back of my head.
After a relatively relaxed dinner, filled with what I thought was an overdose of PDA from Lisa, I made my way to the door, followed by Viv.
“You alright to go home by yourself? Not sure I feel comfortable letting you walk this late,” Viv asked with a concerned expression.
“Y/N”s a big girl, Viv, she’ll be okay,” Lisa said with a tense smile, putting her arms around Viv’s waist with a pointed look which I ignored.
“I’ll be fine, mam” I reassured her when Viv’s expression didn’t falter. (Mum)
She shook her head with a laugh before detaching herself from Lisa to give me a hug.
“We’ll see you in the morning, yeah?” she said, and I nodded.
“Unless I get stabbed on my walk home,” I joked, and Viv gave me a shove.
“Don’t jinx it,” she said half-seriously, and I said a final goodbye before walking down the stairs of their apartment building.
The minute I got outside, I stuffed my earphones in my ears as I started my walk home.
*******
“How’d you sleep?” Emma Mitchell asked me as we walked through the hall of the arsenal training compound. About 5 of our teammates were walking behind us, chattering excitedly.
“It was okay,” I replied, “Although I was up earlier than usual because apparently, my downstairs neighbor thought it was necessary to mow his lawn at 6AM,”
Emma grimaced, “Oh that sucks,” she said with a smile. Just as we approached the changing room, we could hear raised voices coming from the slightly ajar door.
“…you’re being ridiculous,”
I could hear the irritation in Vivianne’s tone, and then heard Lisa’s distinct accent as she replied.
“Is it really so bad I want some time with you alone?”
“I spend plenty of time with you, but she’s my friend–“
Emma pushed the door open, just as Viv opened her mouth to reply, but both girls fell quiet when they saw us.
“Morning,” chirped Emma, trying to lighten the obvious tension, “Lover’s quarrel?”
Neither Lisa nor Viv replied, facing away from each other as the rest of the team slowly started to file in. In an instinct, I dropped my training bag next to Viv’s, before catching her eye.
“You okay?” I asked her in Dutch, and she nodded.
“She’s just being jealous,” she replied, and I smiled.
“Who isn’t?” I said, and Viv chuckled.
This apparently set Lisa, who had been trying to listen in from the other side of the room, off, and she turned to face us.
“Go ahead and talk in Dutch, so no one can freaking understand you,”
“Jesus, Lisa, not here,” Viv muttered to her girlfriend, who now shifted her eyes to me, anger evident in her eyes.
“Why the hell not, hm, Viv? Don’t want to hurt her feelings?”
Lisa’s tone was anything but friendly and directed at me, and I frowned.
“Is there a problem?” I asked, and Lisa glared challengingly.
“How about the fact that you’re spending half your day with somebody else’s girlfriend?” Lisa said, and my frown deepened, but I could feel the panic building in my stomach.
Lisa was the only one who I had told I was bisexual, and I had nasty feeling she was about to use it against me.
“Lisa come on, I don’t even like women-” I tried to say, my voice shaking slightly.
“How about you stop lying and admit it,” Lisa snarled, and my stomach dropped. My eyes met Viv’s, and the look of confusion on her face made it feel like someone had closed a fist over my throat.
“I...” I couldn’t find any words.
“Come on Lisa, that’s enough,” Viv said as she watched what must’ve been pure panic on my face, and Lisa shook her head with a scoff.
“Please, can’t you see she’s completely in love with you?”
It felt like all the air had been knocked out of my lungs, and despair and shame swirled inside my head.
“Lisa!” This time it was Danielle who intervened, a look of shock and anger on her face.
The changing room was completely silent, and I could feel the eyes of all my teammates on me.
“I have to go,” I managed to utter, and with tears forming in my eyes, I grabbed my bag and fled out of the changing room.
Behind me, I heard a mix of voices, including Danielle’s: “What the hell were you thinking?”
“Y/N!” I could hear Viv’s voice call after me, but as the tears flowed freely down my face, I kept running, until I was out of the building and could see my car. I rummaged desperately for my keys in my bag, unlocking the small car and throwing my bag into the passenger seat beside me.
“Y/N, wait, please!!”
I slammed the door shut and turned the keys in the ignition, reversing my car out of the spot and then driving full force forward towards the road, watching Viv’s running figure getting smaller and smaller in my rear-view mirror.
drop me a comment if you want a part 2!
142 notes
·
View notes