#continuing like i didnt have a four month hiatus ;<; | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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Ya'll... I think I might start a new story, I have a... basic concept of what I want it to be like, and I already have a name (under the impression that I don't suddenly do a 180), I just need to do like... all the writing and make the characters LMFAO It's gonna be a little on the dreary side and dark (which is the kind of writing/genre i aspire to write about, also means I'm gonna have to redo my personal reshade that ive been cooking for like... 3 or 4 months... 😭)-

in the meantime, I might start working on gussying up my navi post (and by gussy up, i mean completely redo) because as nice as it is, it's, idk, a little outdated (i guess), I have an idea for a new theme except i'm either going to a) put it in the drafts and wait til I start the new story to post it so the info is all there or b) make it and then post it and when i start the new story, edit it and put the tags and stuff in for the story.

ALSO might do a name change cuz... this name came from WAYYY before i joined simblr, and its got a charm to it, but i dont rlly like it anymore,, it just dont sit with me the same way that it used to lmao

*(writing this after i posted cuz i forgot to say this - its under the cut and in regards to NSB with the new story - it also kinda turned into a rant lmfao) TL:DR for ppl who don't wanna read my stupid fucking rant: NSB is prob gonna go on a hiatus regardless of if i start a new story, cuz as much as I love it, it's started to feel like a chore and less of smth i enjoy (even tho, like I said, I rlly enjoy/love it) Sorry to my NSB enjoyers out there.

regarding NSB, yes it will probably go on hiatus when making this story bec writing is already kinda exhausting for me as well as editing and NSB has progressively became more and more story-driven than gameplay-driven, and especially after these three days, im kinda burnt out from NSB, i know i just left it off on a cliffhanger with the new baby, but to be honest, I don't wanna deal with another child, i barely get by dealing with the four, and dealing with toddlers> are so fucking annoying cuz of the Sim AI, which in and of itself is just demotivating, i do REALLY love not so berry, i love the story ive created with it, but i guess im just tired of playing the same generation for so long, not to mention the fact that i made it a rags to riches challenge, i know i didnt have to but i prefer to, and bc of that, i havent been able to properly decorate, and i dont really wanna go back on myself, if i decide to continue NSB, i will probably take the RTR rules away since its so annoying to deal with having like, 1000 simoleans all the damn time. Also, i've been planning what to do for generation 3 since catty gave birth, but i had to put NSB on a hiatus bc of a stupid glitch and was only recently able to start it up again, and I still havent moved onto the next gen. I kinda lost the plot with that rant, but basically, NSB will probably go on hiatus, regardless of the new story, I've been wanting to dwell more on Roo and his whole story and the people in his universe and after a bit, NSB has started to, as much as I love it and the storytelling and whatever, feel like a chore, which kinda hurts to say, but its true. Sorry to any of my not so berry enjoyers out there

#anyways my brain is ROTTING thinking about this story #obsessed and it has barely formed an existence LMFAO #as for the navi post ive also had a bit of a brain worm for it i just havent been able to start cuz of vday posts lmao #only prob with writing and staging a story is that i have tend to have very expansive ideas that are gna require so much time and energy #and im the typa person who wants to get it done in one sitting so ig doing this would mean being a lot more patient and slowing down #which go figure i probably wont be able to finish writing the story in one sitting lmao but considering me ill *want* to finish it in one #sitting #yapping

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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do we know why the boys were not allowed to have facial hair on the show? i feel like it was more in character than to assume sam and dean had to time to just always be clean shaven in the middle of apocalypses, being demons or possessed, fighting gods ect. on the flip side, im still confused as to how cas grew facial hair in purgatory when i didnt think that was something that happened to angel vessels?

Hi there! There's actually quite a bit going on in this question (I think this is my way of saying sorry it's taken me a few days to get to it :'D)

I'll start by saying I don't think it was a matter of "not allowed" to have facial hair, but it's actually more complicated than that. Not to mention Dean especially was almost never what I'd call "clean shaven" outside of when they were beginning a hunt and posing as FBI.

There's a video I think on the s1 dvd's called something like "a day in the life of Jared and Jensen". Wait... I found it on the youtube...

youtube

It's only about 10 minutes long, and if you haven't seen it, it's worth watching all of it. It was shot during the filming of 1.20 Dead Man's Blood, so they hadn't even been at this a full year yet. About 2 1/2 minutes in, they go through hair and makeup, and talk about shaving.

Back in s1, Sam had to be more clean shaven to look younger, and Dean had to have a bit of scruff just to look a bit older. So at first it was to visually make their ages more obvious. But it's also about continuity on camera. Remember, each episode of supernatural was filmed over eight weekdays (with a couple days for weekends in the middle). Episodes are NOT filmed in scene order. It would make it almost impossible to show normal, chronological beard growth over the span of two weeks of filming, you know?

If they film scene 38 first, then scene 12, then scene 19, then scene 2 over the course of four days, their facial hair has to remain believably consistent, not grow and shrink :'D So having a designated easily duplicatable facial hair style (and hair cut, because head hair can grow noticeably in two weeks, too, especially when it's as short as Jensen's on the sides/back) makes visual continuity actually possible. Especially when they're filming entire EPISODES out of airing order.

Think about Jensen's beard in the AU bunker battle scene in the beginning of 15.04. That was the first episode filmed of s15, and those were the first SHOTS filmed of s15 before Jensen shaved off his hiatus beard for the rest of the season. Those scenes were probably filmed in a single day, two at most, before he had to resume "standard Dean." Also think about Demon Dean's slightly longer hair that went back to normal, or Sam's beard from the first three episodes of s14 before he shaved in 14.04. Those times the longer hair/facial hair was used to show a lack of self-care for various reasons.

I think Cas's Purgatory beard was used to show the same. He was doing "penance" in his own mind, but I do think it was also the seeds of his entire depression arc that would run right through 15.18 and then never get an actual resolution (sorry, I had to at least grumble about that a little bit...). I remember Jensen saying when he asked why Dean was clean-shaven in Purgatory and Cas wasn't, he was told by someone that "Dean has knives," and would actually continue shaving for some reason, while Cas wouldn't even bother using his grace/powers to maintain his appearance there.

I don't believe the show has ever made any sort of statement about angel vessels NOT growing hair/facial hair. Plus by this point in the series, we really do have to consider that Cas's body, not as much his vessel anymore. Jimmy was long gone, and the last at least two times Cas had been resurrected, that body was also remade for him. We're at least two degrees of remove from that being a normal vessel, so even if angel vessels aren't "supposed to" grow hair or change their appearance, Cas would have an exception asterisk attached. :'D

The thing is, we HAVE seen other angels change the appearance of their vessels. I mean... Lucifer, for one, especially in s13. He grew scruff, looked messy, etc. And it was explained to be a result of having been imprisoned and his grace seriously depleted to the point he couldn't even perform small magical tasks for himself.

So why did Cas grow scruff in Purgatory? Because television is a visual storytelling medium. If you had a friend in real life who usually looked like Cas normally does, and then saw him after months and saw the guy Dean found in Purgatory, what would your immediate thoughts be about how that friend had been doing lately? Did similar thoughts about how Cas's last few months in Purgatory alone, running from Leviathans, staying alive primarily to keep the Leviathans focused on HIM instead of on Dean?

I think the phrase "run ragged" applies to Cas's Purgatory look. Sometimes facial scruff combined with smudged on dirt is the fastest visual shorthand for "yikes this guy has had it rough lately." Hence his "get clean" scene in 8.07 restoring him entirely to "normal," including clean-shaven and a decent haircut somehow. I think he'd been entirely able to have given himself that look in Purgatory, but he just never bothered to. For whatever reason, Dean did bother. And that was part of the visual narrative telling us that Dean still cared, and that Cas (outside of his mission of keeping the leviathan away from Dean) didn't.

Like, even when Cas was human in early s9, when he was on the run and homeless, even when he was given opportunity to shave his scruff (at the beginning of the episode while brushing his teeth, and at the end after showering at the bunker and before being kicked out) he still retained the scruff. The next time we saw him in 9.06, when he was settling into his "new human life" as a sales associate, even though we understand he's still technically homeless, he's actually maintaining his appearance, demonstrated by his care for himself and the fact he bothered to shave. For him, it was a visual signifier of his growing to accept himself.

To go way back up to that video above, in the makeup trailer are dozens of photos of different looks for each of them. Yes, some are purely silly, but even as shown in 6.15 The French Mistake (the "I'm a painted whore!" scene) are a few similar continuity photos. Every day of filming, every change to makeup and hair (including FX makeup showing wounds, bruises, etc.) has to be documented for the sake of continuity. Or you'd have an episode with alternating scenes of them having longer/shorter/longer facial hair over the course of what's supposed to be a single day on screen. The easiest way to maintain that continuity is character consistency, only having a drastically different look occasionally, for a specific reason.

So why couldn't they have chosen to go with a beard for an entire season? It's just as easy to maintain beard consistency day to day on set as it is to just have them shave to scruff, right? Crowley did that... he was clean-shaven the first few seasons he was on the show, and then grew the beard, so why not Sam and Dean?

As I said above, the visual language of the show actually means something. These aren't real people who might casually decide to grow facial hair for fashion reasons. They're fictional characters being used to tell a specific story. Their appearance and their clothing choices are visual shorthand to give us information about their current mental state, their internal priorities, etc. It's all part of the story, and in this story, Sam and Dean generally care enough to maintain their chosen physical appearance. They only seem to grow beards when they're either being run ragged or otherwise lack the ability to care for themselves, whether by choice or by circumstance.

I think it's less "they were not allowed to grow beards" and more "this would not be in character in the visual language of the show."

#visual storytelling #spn fashion hour pffft #heck what else do i even tag this? lol #on the nature of angel grace #i guess since there's literally nothing in canon that says angels can't grow facial hair or that they don't #just that in most circumstances they actually bother to maintain the appearance of their vessels

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yoon-kooks · 4 years

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fic hiatus

well guys,,,,, i have good news and bad news,,,,,

just like the y/n in The Devil Writes Romance, my dream has been to become an editor. after working as a freelance writer for about a year, i was finally offered an editing position a few days ago. you could say this was all according to keikaku as the next step in my career path, but i didnt realize it would come so soon;;;;;; although ive had my eye on this specific job, i didnt feel as tho i was qualified for it yet. i thought it would take at least another year of writing experience before anyone would consider me for an editor’s position.

BUT. tbh i know i owe A LOT to this blog and its kind readers. this blog gave me most of my writing experience. four years of it. it might not be professional writing that i ever got paid for, but believe me when i say i gained enough confidence and clarity to strive for a career with the hobby that i loved so much. and i wouldnt have had any of that confidence without you guys, the readers, the ones who supported my fics despite it taking me 47381490 years to continue/finish certain series.

im just sorry for the lack of fics as of late. im sorry for hyping up a new series and not touching it for 3 months. im sorry for basically abandoning this blog and its fics.

a lot of this is due to my barista job that i picked up back in june. my mind has also been occupied by a certain tall man (see my #coworker chronicles tag lmfao). i just havent had the time or inspiration to write fanfic ever since.

and between editing, barista-ing, and tall man, i need to let go of something. as much as i wish to complete Witch Hazel and The Devil Writes Romance, i dont know if it’s possible anymore. if for whatever reason i happen to have time/inspiration to go back to them, i will! but i dont want to keep you guys waiting any longer for updates that may or may not happen :/

so for now, all of my fics will be on indefinite hiatus. ill still be scrolling thru tumblr and reblogging stuff that i like, but other than that, ill be taking a step back to focus on my jobs and real life stuff.

again, im sorry. im sorry, but im also eternally grateful to anyone and everyone who ever gave my fics a chance, enjoyed them, left sweet feedback on them, or even recommended them. it means the world and so much more✨

thank you for everything🥺💕 -karls

#update #hiatus #at least this isnt goodbye👌#ill still be around to reblog stuff #and talk in the tags #and keep yall updated with my tall man crush lol #tbh i still REALLY want to at least finish witch hazel #but we'll see

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evilmaycry · 5 years

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hey it’s me and my actual thoughts about dmc5

dont press read more if you dont wanna see me

it’s been a while since ive made a post about me in here!

a couple days ago i faced the reality that one of the first posts i made on this site was about me being 16 and not believing i had a whole life ahead of me... well, f*ck i’m 23 now and just about to become an actual marine biologist.

i was lying when i sad i wouldnt be able to make content anymore, i do have time (mostly i make time when there’s pressing deadlines and im trying to find a way to waste time) and soon i’ll be free a bit more (im near to finishing my undergrad thesis and turn it in for revision)... i guess content from me can be expected... anyway

i am SO happy FINALLY devil may cry 5 was announced.

i was about to be 14 when i played devil may cry 4, i cannot believe dmc5 came a decade later. i wouldnt have believed anyone back then if they told me the series would go on a long hiatus because capcom didn’t find it necessary to continue. then DmC? what the fuck was that? to be true, i didn’t dislike it so much, i found it entertaining and the influence it has on DMC5 regarding the aesthetic, tone, music and even gameplay is undeniable. though, that guy wasn’t our Dante. f*ck him.

it’s been a long seven years of blogging and being part of the dmc community here. it’s nice to see it grow and see people create more content.

regarding my thoughts on DMC5, i’d be lying if i said i was excited when the reveal happened. i knew dmc5 was happening and the trailer was underwhelming (to me) to say the very least. i’ve been on twitter the whole time of my absence here and throughout the years i’ve tweeted sO much shit that just became true. the worst case of that was after the blunder with chris redfield and resident evil 7 i was SCARED photorealism would be present in DMC5. i tweeted i’d kill myself if that happened. IMAGINE MY SHOCK in june

it’s been a long time since the reveal that happened back in june. i was just back at home from a different state and rejoining society after a four-month long ACTUAL hiatus where i couldn’t use the internet at all (for science reasons, i stayed in the middle of the desert).

i thought the DMC5 reveal trailer would BLOW ME the fuck away. that i would get some closure from all those years of WANTING dmc5 to happen. BUT I DIDNT.

i was so FELT BETRAYED somehow. dante didn’t look like himself (i still don’t forgive that he has no lips eh), NERO LOOKS......still ugly in my eyes (lmfaoo) and those feelings persisted over the months.

just recently ive come to accept that’s them now and i can comfortably love 5Dante. he’s still my man. he’s been for most of my life now so i can’t just leave him like that (LOL).

this doesnt make any sense so i leave you with a face update:

FAIR WARNING: I LOVE SNAPCHAT/SNOW FILTERS

#alina #me #my face #and my thots

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shoeshoesho · 6 years

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april 23, 2017

Yesterday i broke a little. i was looking out of his window so frustrated. And for what? i have no idea. The night before I did the same thing. I was so upset, so “fed up” with going out with him and doing all these fun things. For what? I asked. i have no idea why i am so upset right now. It is a deep frustration that i cant put my finger on. I broke out angerly at him and he said, “ i have no idea where this is comming from” and i said “me neither.” He thinks i am just being emotional. And to be honest, i couldn’t believe that is all he thought it to be. I was almost angry he was naive enough to believe it to be so simple. To believe that i was so simple..so easily curved by emotions, like some little child. I thought maybe he knew it was not so simple but chose to believe so to spare his own feelings. To blockade himself from the issue and to repeat. “everything is alright.” I believe him to be more intelligent than most and to be guarded rather than stupid. Whatever it is i believe.. He simply said i would not have to deal with this again cause we would move in a month. That also pissed me off. Dont you see that this is more intrinsic in the machine than you believe it to be?This will only continue to occur if i dont understand the feeling. Why do i feel this way?

Am i sick of being with him? Am i sick of his friends? ( i think so). Am i sick of being in the lovely santa cruz on a sunny hot day? Is it from being too happy all too quick? I know i enjoy pain, and pleasure is only as good as the pain you feel. And i agree that it is a trade that occurs every day. Am i eating all these sweets at once? Is that why i am so “fed up.” I am very confused indeed.

Maybe because i was catapulted into his life and it was as if i lost a sense of identity. But at the same time, i cannot bare a weekend without him. Is my life so dull and drab, his color paints all my beige walls bright? My life was/is a simple one. Simply alone. I often begged for someone to come here and share it with me, but my style was always a lonely one. As i have said in previous notes- alone but never feeling alone. Looking back now, i have dropped off 75% of the few friends i had after this relationship. But if i had the choice, its weird, i would not say i would want to text them frivolously right now and decide to take a week hiatus from our relationship. I still want him and i still need him. Even the slightest thought of being without him in my life makes me cry a little. He is always who i want to love and be with. But i am suffocating in a life that i want. I dont know how to make this life more me. He welcomes me to do so but i cant seem to figure out how to do it. Maybe it is from the shortcommings of being a partner? Maybe i am not used to such closeness. I tend to cave because i generally care too much about how hes going to feel. Just making up all this shit about how hes going to feel abou tit.

I originally got upset becasue i didnt want to eat at his friends house. Why? Because honestly, i am not entirely comfortable at his fieinds place, and around his friends sitll. I am introverted and i would like to just not socialize forever. Maybe i am sick of socializing. And socializing with people that arent even my friends. I always give a modest day or few hrs to my freinds in the past (friday night to saturday) and that pretty much emptys my tank. In my head were talking about shit that honestly i know NOTHING about, CONSTANTLY. so therefore.. at the moment, i have NO INTEREST. constantly worried about WHAT to talk about. Constantly worried about making good impressions. You know i have no problem being myself.. but this IS myself. I dont crank it open in one go, i dont shoot the shit very well and you wont know me until you really know me. Its going to take more than 30 tires and its not easy. I can fake it for about 45 min and then Im going to start making an escape route. So why punish myself for being me? I guess i am not. I am not apologetic to him or his friends. I was previously but at this point.. i will not apologize, but i will be sorry for having to be absent from all the things he wants me to be a part of. And i will continue throughout our relationship to be sorry. I will be sorry for skipping out on those things, cause honstly babe, i dont wanna go. Your going to light up that room and im going to disappear. Im going to disappear into the wallpaper and the touching shoulders. Im going to disappear into the bathroom or out back. Im going to be absent more often than you think. he is my only connection in this world. He is the only outlet, and the only one that knows my true color. No one here knows my true color. No one here knows what im about or who i am. And when you take one hour or two away from me, I am disappering into the walls. Making smiles and laughs that are find after a drink or four. But when you add them up, i am drowning in it. I am drowning in a life i want. I am drowning from constantly feeling inadequate or like an accessory to your life. I am drowning from not feeling and knowing the worth that i am in this world. To feel my imprint on this world. I can mirror this image to exactly what it feels to stand on top of a mountain alone.

To be strong, on your own- and i have never felt prouder of myself in any situation. To feel capable and independent. To feel like a force of nature. To feel your existance in this world to be insignificant because you are reminded that indeed, this world is incredible and unforgiving.

That is what is me at my best.

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changbeens · 4 years

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hope you dont mind if i rant abt top media - jinhoo going on break seems rly iffy to me? like if he is injured i hope he gets better but IDK the timing seems off and the whole situation reminds me of momoland’s- a member is caught in dating rumors and are forced to sit out of promotions by the company. not to mention that both groups also have 2 members that are sitting out as well for other reasons (not dating). idk why tm is doing. the whole thing is just sad and suspicious to me

the thing is, jinhoo has literally been missing for 4 months. he didnt just go on hiatus, they deliberately decided not to tell us until today when they dropped comeback news and they told us by adding “oh by the way jinhoo’s on hiatus for health concerns”

they should have told us FOUR MONTHS AGO that he was on hiatus instead of allowing us to worry and then telling us in such a shitty way that he’s on hiatus. there is absolutely no reason for up10 to be preparing for a comeback with only 70% of the group when we’ve gone periods of a year or more with nothing from them

honey10s would rather wait for ot10. but the akgaes outnumber the honey10s. while there are little bastards replying to tweets that say “up10tion’s wooseok” with “he’s x1′s wooseok actually” and “up10tion’s jinhyuk” with “um he’s a solist actually” flop med will continue to milk “x1′s wooseok” and “soloist jinhyuk” for all the money they can regardless of the fact that wei wants to be wei and wooshin wants to be wooshin

as for momoland... i hope daisy sues mld for every penny they have

#Anonymous

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atc74 · 7 years

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In A Hurry

Written for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s SPN Weekly Hiatus Challenge. The prompt is “Are we completely sure that’s how it supposed to look?” And the gif below.

I haven't written Sam in a couple of months, so here you. This is unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine.

Word Count: 1200-ish

Warnings: Smut, language

It had been a long hunt, too long; three states over two weeks. Dirty, musty motel rooms, bad diner food and worse aches and pains then you can remember in a long time. Not to mention little to absolutely no alone time with your boyfriend, Sam. Dean was everywhere, all the time. Two freaking weeks and you barely had enough time to rub one out in the shower, let alone get in some good loving time with Sam.

The werewolves were running in packs of tree and four it seemed like for every one you took out, another two popped up in its place. Slower than you would have care for, they eventually led the three of you to their den and the end result was a total of twelve dead wolves over fourteen days. Thankfully the human casualties had not flowed over state lines.

You had inspected both brothers for any injuries that needed immediate treatment or stitches, with Sam doing the same for you. Luckily, the injuries had been minimal with each fight over the last two weeks. None of you had suffered anything that antiseptic and a couple shots of whiskey couldn’t fix.

Huffing loudly, you threw yourself down on the bed next to Sam while Dean finished up in the shower.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Sam looked over at you, concern filling his ever changing eyes.

“Ahhhhggg Sam, I am so horny and Dean won’t leave us alone!” You whined like a child and beat your fists on the bed for good measure.

“Awww come on Babe, it’s not that bad. Just another day and we will be home and we can have all the sex you can handle,” Sam snorted.

“But that is another 24 hours and I won’t make it that long; I need you now,” you whined some more for good measure.

“Y/N, Babe, I want to you, so bad, but we just need to be a little patient. It’s not like we haven’t gone this long before,” Sam tried reasoning with you.

Before you could respond, Dean emerged from the bathroom and to your surprise, he was fully dressed. As if he could read your body language, and he probably could, he made your night.

“I am headed out to see if I can finally get that redhead to give me the time of day. Behave, you two!” Dean pointed a finger at you, grabbed his keys and was gone.

Before the door even closed all the way, you had flipped yourself over and were straddling Sam’s middle, capturing his mouth in a heated kiss as you tried to pull his shirt up over his head. “Sam, I need you. Come on, Dean will be gone for hours,” you panted.

“I got you Baby,” Sam pulled his shirt over his head as you climbed off of him to remove your own clothing, before working to remove his pants as well.

Sam had stood to aide in removing his clothing and you jumped into his arms, the two of you falling into the nearest bed. You settled yourself over his stomach as you leaned over, slotting your mouth against his, your lips fitting together perfectly. Sam Winchester was a man with many talents and taking your breath away was one you never wanted to go without.

The kiss turned needy on your part very quickly and you pulled away, dropping to his neck. You licked your way down, stopping here and there to concentrate on the spots that drove him wild, leaving a mark on his collarbone. You looked up to meet his eyes as you continued to the promised land, following the curve of his chest and chiseled abs. Before you reached your destination, Sam picked you up and took over this mission, his body covering yours as he maneuvered his hips between your legs.

“Sam,” his name nothing but a moan from your lips as he peppered your body with kisses, like you had done to him. His large hands cupped both of your breasts, his thumbs teasing your hard nipples. Sum ducked his head down, to bring one into his mouth, teasing your pert bud with the tip of his tongue, lavishing it with attention before sucking it into his mouth. He repeated the same motions on your other breast.

You really loved the way Sam could push and pull your body to new heights and each time you had sex with him, it was never the same. Even though it has been more than two weeks and you wanted to take your time, your body had different plans. You pulled Sam up to you, feeling his hard body cover yours.

“Please Sam, just fuck me. I can’t wait to have you inside me any longer. We can take our time once we get home,” You urged him, bucking your hips underneath him.

Sam didn’t mind being told twice and eased his way into your tight channel. Audible moans coming from both of you as you adjusted to the feel of the other. It only took a moment before Sam was hammering his hips home and both of you had come in what could be considered embarrassingly quick, but you were too spent to care as you lay huddled together at the end of the bed.

Suddenly, Sam bolted upright so fast, you fell out of the bed, taking the comforter with you.

“Shit! Dean’s back! We’re in his bed!” Sam quickly pulled you up off the floor as the two of you tried your best to put the blankets back on and right it before Dean entered the room. You took a moment to inspect your work.

“Are we completely sure that’s how it supposed to look?” You asked Sam quizzically before hopping back into your own bed, pulling up the sheets to cover your naked form from Dean’s prying eyes, just as you heard his key in the lock. Sam was just pulling his pants back on as the door opened. He tossed you his shirt.

“Like fucking rabbits man! You couldn’t wait until we got home? Now the whole room stinks like sex! Gross!” Dean shouted, dropping two bags on the table and making way for the bathroom.

“That was close!” You exclaimed as you threw on Sam’s shirt and searched for your bed shorts. Pulling them on quickly just as Dean exited the bathroom and stopped, his head tilted to one side, inspecting the scene in front of him.

“Well, that’s just fucking great. I guess I’ll be sleeping in my car tonight. Fucking rabbits and in my goddamn bed! You two are unbelievable!” Dean sounded more pissed than he had in awhile and you felt bad, you really did. But just as he turned to grab dinner from the bag, you saw the smirk on his face.

You looked over at Sam, then to Dean’s bed. You had put the comforter on upside down and backwards, so the fitted end was at the head of the bed. Well, at least you and Sam did one thing well when you were in a hurry!

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#SPN Hiatus Writing Challenge 2017 #SPN HWC - WEEK 2 #Sam winchester #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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ificouldflytotheclouds · 6 years

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And somehow the stars align

So I was just thinking of my top favorite artists of all time: Taylor Swift, One Direction, and 5sos. And they strangely all have similar pathways even though they're on different roads.

The beginning.

Out of the three Taylor is the artist I can tell you the least as to how I fell into her music but it I believe it manifested from a friends recommendations.

One Direction I remember seeing the countdown for WMYB on my sidebar every day I was on youtube, by the time the music video dropped I finally clicked on the videos because I was intrigued by this video trying to encroach on my life.

5sos was a friend recommendation. 5 Years ago (+1 day) she sent my a link to try hard. I didn’t listen to it at the time because I didn’t want to download anything onto my mom’s computer. A month later she sent me the link to Luke’s cover of please don’t go, it wasn’t till I looked into his other work did I realize he was part of 5sos. Check yes Juliet and drop in the ocean that won me over.

Getting into them

I saw Taylor perform at the mall and after the show we got a signed cd (rip, at the time someone standing near us was like can we meet her after and security was like no, something about being too many ppl, but like…)

For 1d my friend had me watch their video diaries and I fell in love. We saw them at the same mall (and when I say mall I mean the Mall of America, aka the biggest mall in the U. S. A. anyways…) that was crazy busy. We didn’t have tickets but we went to watch anyways, that was fun, and it actually spawned a friendship with someone who went to my school and is now one of my besties now (who was the person who introduced me to 5sos).

5sos. I remember wanting to go to the Stars, Stripes and Maple Syrup Tour (actually, I completely forgot about this until today, I forgot how whipped I was for them before slsp came out). But we couldn’t go. (rip, wasn’t able to go to wwat for same/similar reasons, but this year finally traveling to Chicago for a show so it kinda makes up for it). Got tickets for Rock Out with Your Socks Out Tour but we ended up selling them to go to a second 1d show. I don’t regret this decision, because 1) that was ones for the books and 2) we knew that this might be the last time we will ever see them (once Zayn left me and my friend were intent on going to more than one show). Back to 5sos, the day of their show we almost ended up getting into their radio show, but we still go to see them walk past.

The second album ‘Hiatus’

This is where things strangely align

Way back to middle school I wasn’t into music the same way I am now, it was healthier, lol. I still loved Taylor but I didn’t get fearless until Christmas, I fell in love with that album on my grandma’s staircase. I watched all the behind the scenes pictures, but compared to the information that goes out now I knew nothing, I just knew the bigger things (I think this is why I always struggle/feel like I don’t fit in with online Taylor stan culture, bc it wasn’t how I fell for her and her music). We tried to get tickets to the fearless tour but were unsuccessful.

Before I begin with 1d, I also want to remind you that Spotify has not always been around, and even then I didn’t download it till sometime in 2017. I don’t even know when it comes to the tmh era. Back sophomore/junior year when I got into things it would be in waves (it’s starting to go back to that which is healthy). So tmh was when I wasn’t following 1d so much. My friend invited me to see a prescreening of the this is us movie. I /sort of/ forced myself to listen to tmh. TMH era might have been one of their best but there’s a reason why it took me a while to get into this album, it’s just not my fav, I find it the least memorable, even though generally speaking its a better album than uan. (I still love the album don’t get me wrong)

5sos, oh 5sos, just trying to figure yourselves out. I don’t like talking about this much, it’s important to acknowledge but it can also feed negativity. Them as people were getting harder to stand and the fandom was getting to be too much, so I had to say goodbye to social media side. I don’t regret this decision and I really wish I had done this at one point for 1d, but with that, it was a little different (baby gate being announcement was hell). I still loved their music but my friend was pressuring me not to listen to it, so that winter I didn’t buy livesos, but I do remember a year later I listening to the skh ep, and enjoying it (Even though I was iffy about skh at the time). School had started and I was kinda out of the loop so I don’t think I actually knew when sgfg came out (Even though I defs followed a few 5sos ppl still, just not update accounts at the time)

Even though I wasn’t there for sgfg I equate this time period with the self-titled album era - post album release because I was there but I wasn’t. I liked the album but it ended up being the least memorable, similar to take me home.

3rd album hoopla

For each of them, the hype began months before the album was released, most likely starting with the drop of a single and riding a high from there.

For Taylor it started with her live stream announcing the 3rd album, to mine that released when I was in a cafe in the Northwoods, the album release week was epic, we finally got tickets to see her on tour (for my friends 15th birthday, 15 I still cry I go to listen to this live when I was 15). I EMBODIED THIS ERA. I had my first crush, the world was magical, I was in a world wind.

This was my school friend forcing me to let my fangirl out lol. (For 1d this wasn’t their peak compared to Taylor and 5sos currently, but it was a very important era for me as a fan). It started with me going to the prescreening of this is us, wow I loved them. SNL performances, being excited for the first show, I had all the lyrics printed out so I could sing them...good times. (I feel like 1d’s best era was tmh but I wasn’t there so its not my #1 era as a fan, from there it’s hard to pick bc I didnt get to see them during wwat, I did with FOUR/OTRA, but there was also DRAMA with that era, and then there was MITAM mini era which got us high and dry(ingourtears)).

And now here we are for 5sos’ 3rd album. You can FEEL that this one is different. SGFG was good, heck, that is one of the best albums I have ever heard, and ngl I was low key nervous as to how they were going to out beat it. But that album was rushed, they didn’t get as much time off as it feels, but this album there is SOOO SOOO much love put in this album. And it goes beyond the lyrics. They really pushed themselves, instrumentally, emotionally, vocally, as people. There is growth, expansion. They reinvented themselves, and yet they are just an embodiment of who they always were, the lessons they’ve learned, and just a better more empowered version of themselves. I wish I could remember if it was pre or post want you back but I ended up getting into SGFG (properly) around this time. THe first few songs made it hard to get into the album when I had listened to it in the past. But I was finally able to skip around those (this is one of those times where I probs would've listened to the album earlier if I had spotify at the time) and later fall in love with them. I think that album came in at the right time. I got to go to 5sos3, got tickets for meet you there, youngblood is amazing. Life is great.

Since the 3rd album hoopla for 1d and Taylor

I got to see both of them from row, in the same year, b stage for 1d and center catwalk for Taylor. Still love them, they’re chill, since 2015 I can say I’ve seen Niall at least once every year, 2 times for OTRA, met him during his golf tournament in ‘16, 2 radio shows in ‘17 on which Liam also played at. I have a Harry concert in a few days, seeing Niall twice this year to continue the tradition, might see Taylor (tixs are sooooo expensive, don’t love her new album that much but this girl loves Taylor sooo, I’m not going to miss it - I don’t hate it but it’s just not the same as how I feel in love with yb instantly, it doesn’t give me that feel), and I get to see 5sos again in the fall (I want to go to their Chicago radio show so bad bc it’s close to the Chicago Niall show, but not close enough, darn)

#this was a bit trippy to write bc 5sos align with 1d at points but theyre on different time lines #i like how im holding off on posting/writing posts that i want to bc theyll take a while to do while i impulsively write this one which took #at least an hour #this is not proof read #but my posts are mildly messy regardless

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fluffi · 3 years

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so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

#long post #also im listening to love song right now haha i love it so much #also sorry for not answering yesterday hhh i got busy last night #「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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The love at the heart of our familys wartime secret

When Margaret Esiri and Andrew Evanss mother died, they read her diary and unravelled a lifelong mystery

In April 1939, Doreen Bates presented Bill Evans, the man she had been seeing for six years, with a sheet of paper. It listed, in two neat columns, the pros and cons of having a baby together.

What made the list unusual was that Bill was married to someone else, and would remain so, until his death in 1974.

Amazingly, Bill agreed to Doreens plea to start a family. And, after the birth of twins in October 1941, he spent every other weekend and summer holidays with Doreen and the children.

His wife, told of the twins existence when they were four months old, agreed to the arrangements, insistent that they should know their father. She and Bill had no children her choice and she never met the twins.

After Doreens death, aged 87 in 1994, Margaret Esiri and Andrew Evans discovered the list among their mothers many papers, which also included detailed diaries from 1931. Now the twins have edited and published the story in Diary of a Wartime Affair.

We didnt know our parents were unmarried until they told us when we were 10, recalls Margaret. Doreen always wore a wedding band and called herself Mrs Evans. We were told our father worked away.

Doreen Bates in 1934.

The weekends he came were the best, partly because we felt like a normal family, says Andrew. He slotted in immediately. We were conscious our situation was different, and I think staff at the school knew, but it never really got out.

Like many other wartime babies, Margaret and Andrew had been born outside of marriage, yet Doreens pregnancy had been, less typically, a meticulously planned one.

After meeting in 1930 when they began sharing an office at the Inland Revenue in Paddington, London, Doreen and Bill known as E in the diary struck up an instant rapport over long discussions about favourite books. By late 1933, their relationship had developed into a romantic and physical one.

Oh, I would give so much to have children, and the right to love him, Doreen wrote on 15 December 1934 after an illicit weekend with E in Winchester and a resulting pregnancy scare.

He, for his part, told her: I wish you wouldnt talk about babies. You have made me want them, too.

That E, however much in love with Doreen, would not leave his wife K in the diaries was never hidden. He was, I think, very fond of her, says Margaret, and he felt very guilty. He had a terribly strong sense of duty towards her.

In September 1935, Doreen wrote of her wish that E would tell his wife about their affair, despite believing such a move would end it. He would keep K, though he might suffer, I know.

Racked with guilt, E did eventually confess his infidelity, going on to tell Doreen by letter in November 1937 that their affair must end.

Bill Evans in 1934.

The hiatus lasted just two months. My love for him just leapt up out of the careful wrappings I had tried to smother it in all these weeks, she wrote on 22 January, after an impassioned meeting at Waterloo station.

The couple found ways to spend more time together snatched trysts in the office, lunchtime picnics, theatre trips, and a philosophy lecture course.

They also began a series of night walks around the countryside of the south-east. On 27 May 1934, Doreen wrote of meeting E on a night train from Charing Cross to hike the hills around Horsley. On top of Black Heath we rested and watched the moon sink We were rather cold but we were close and finally we slept for half an hour, she recorded. May my memory remain fresh and unblurred. Hers was, she noted, a gossamer happiness.

I must reconcile myself to having no children and not being Es wife, Doreen wrote in January 1935, going on to write in her diary, later that year, a stirring, but never-delivered speech to him. You think I should soon get over it catch another man, marry, have babies and live happily ever after. That is a convenient picture Well its not true.

With time though, her stance changed, and increasingly she considered the possibility of single motherhood. By November 1936, one week into a pregnancy scare, she had decided she would not seek a termination. I should manage This feeling of certainty and acceptance is quite independent of E, whatever he may say, or do, or not do.

Though keenly aware of the potential problems, by April 1937 her desire to have my baby, pure and simple and his baby something of him I should have the right to love and look after and help, was overwhelming.

Doreen began to take practical steps towards motherhood. She visited her doctor (who was, perhaps surprisingly, encouraging), arranged for her sister to care for the baby should she die and told her mother a deeply religious widow who also depended on her daughter financially that she was considering adoption.

It had to be him, says Margaret of the idea that Doreen could try to find another partner. She was deeply committed to Bill and remained so all her life, but she wanted to do this whether he stayed around or not.

She was determined to bring him round, she continues. She went on and on and I suppose there was an element of him giving in. His mother, adds Andrew, was too honest to have ever tricked Bill into a baby.

Doreen also accepted his initial insistence that his wife must know first. But the diary reveals her growing frustration at Ks fragile health and Es subsequent continual stalling. He found it very difficult to tell her, says Margaret. She had become very anorexic when he had told her about the affair and he was very worried it would happen again.

By the time he finally agreed to Doreens request to go ahead without Ks knowledge in 1940 believing that war would make the arrangement easier the announcement that she was to be transferred to Belfast appeared finally to dash her dreams.

Then on 7 March 1941, the day before her departure after a secluded hike in Surrey, one of the loveliest days we have ever had Doreen discovered she was pregnant.

Everything somehow just dovetailed into place, says Andrew. The timing was critical. Once she had gone it would have been impossible and she was getting older [aged 35], she felt time was running out.

Still unsure of Es continuing involvement, Doreen eventually returned to London in August, where she set about making arrangements for the birth. She found her employers to be surprisingly broadminded about what they deemed an unfortunate accident (the notion that it could have been a deliberate decision was apparently unimaginable). She was offered a long period of paid sick leave and a job to return to if she could avoid scandal.

She was lucky. It was wartime, the usual conventions could be stepped around a little and she was good at her job. They needed her, says Margaret.

For Doreens mother, Rosa though she did go on to develop a loving relationship with her grandchildren the news was harder to accept. The shock was great and she was quite prostrate all the evening, Doreen wrote in her diary. She was only allowed to visit after dark and the arrival of an ambulance to transport her, in labour, to the nursing home, horrified her mother.

Even after we were born, with E coming every other week, Rosa never reconciled herself to him, that he had put Doreen in that shameful situation, says Margaret.

It was a sense of shame Andrew and Margaret believe their mother never felt. She was uninterested in conventions of social behaviour and an ordinary, respectable life, says Andrew.

Bills commitment, of which Doreen could never have been sure, became apparent quickly. E is very thrilled more doting than I should have thought possible, her diary records of his first visit to see the twins.

He helped install Doreen, the children and a nanny in a house in London. Bill visited regularly, establishing the semi-formal arrangement when the family settled in Surrey after the war.

We called him Bill. She was more of a constant, but we were always clear that he was our father, says Margaret.

Involved as he was, Bill never told the rest of his family about his children. They met an aunt and several other family members for the first time only after their fathers death.

From time to time, as a young girl, Margaret received gifts of ballet shoes from K (a ballet teacher), but occasional meetings between K and Doreens sister never succeeded in establishing the rapprochement the aunt hoped for.

Watching the children play one weekend, Doreens diary recorded, E announced that having children was the supreme human experience. It was, says Margaret, a moment of vindication. It was what she had sought to tell him all along.

The Diary of a Wartime Affair by Doreen Bates is published by Viking, 16.99. To order a copy for 14.44, go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call the Guardian Bookshop on 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min. p&p of 1.99.