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#coldly which is why i feel like there's bad blood somewhere but i don't have anything specific in mind. so like it hasn't even been
gentlethorns · 3 months
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sigh grief and loss is everywhere. doors close that can't be reopened and yet i still scratch at them like a lost dog. why
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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years
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ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 5
Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;
Warnings: cursing
Words: 2.339
Back in the office, yn headed for the locker room to change some of her clothes and to get rid of the makeup. As she walked over to her desk, a cup of hot coffee and Gavin were already waiting. He handed her the liquid. She was freezing to death but it was worth it. She was able to place the bug as planned. Yn took the cup with a soft smile, “Thanks. That’s what I need right now.”
“You got rid of the makeup already? Too bad...”, Gavin said grinning.
Over the rim of the cup, she looked challenging at him, “Yeah, otherwise, I have to fear you will arrest me for prostitution. And I’m not sure if you really want to see me in handcuffs.”, she whispered with a grin and winked.
Gavin’s heart skipped a beat and he coughed slightly by the picture he got in his mind because of her comment. Yn noticed what kind of reaction her joke had on him but before she could ask, Hank and Connor joined them with a tablet. It was the device for the bug. Gavin stepped back and breathed several times to calm himself while the others sat around the desk.
“Turn it on. Maybe we will already hear something. I hope this thing works as well as the heavy's promised.”, yn said and laid her feet on top of her desk like Gavin used to do all the time.
Connor looked confused, “Heavy's?”
“Our hardware guys.”, Yn explained with a wink. Then JoJo started to talk and all four cops were listening intently.
“Hey Scott.”
“Hey Joker, why are you smiling like an idiot?”, Scott asked. The sound quality was excellent and so, they could differentiate the two men easily.
“Man, I met a girl in the park.”, JoJo said with excitement in his voice.
“Again?”, Scott asked, not impressed at all. It was the fifth time Joker had met a girl … this week.
“This time it's different.”
Yn felt Gavin's sullen expression glued at her. Obviously, she had done her job better than he wanted.
JoJo continued with his infatuation, “She was so incredibly beautiful. You know, like a divine angel with bright eyes and dressed in a blood red tank top. You should have seen her...you know.”, in the way he said it, everyone (except Connor) knew that he was talking about her breasts.
Yn snickered and looked up with a proud grin. She looked at Gavin then down at her top, which was still the blood red tank top, and then back at Gavin. She smirked. Gavin wasn't amused at all. He pressed his jaws together and looked at her with a dark expression. Hank had to bite back a grin as he watched the Detective. Something bothered him and Hank had an idea what it could be.
“And? Will you see her again?”, Scott asked, catching their attention again.
“Of course! She gave me her number.“, JoJo said proudly.
Gavin slammed his hands on his desk and jumped from his seat, “You gave him your number? Are you crazy?”, he called out.
Yn leant back in her chair and grinned. It amused her that he still saw her as a newbie, at least, she thought it was that, “No. Of course not.”, she said calmly.
“Good.”, Gavin said pleased and sat down.
“I gave him the number of your ex. I thought they would be cute together.”, yn said after a moment and smirked devilishly.
Slowly, Gavin looked up, his knuckles turning white again, “You did- what?”
But instead of answering, yn silenced him with her hand. She became serious and looked at the small device, listening to JoJo’s and Scott’s conversation.
“Yeah, yeah...tonight. In the warehouse down at the docks. Like always at eight?”, JoJo asked.
“Eight, right. Be on point this time. You know how much our boss hates to wait.”, Scott admitted.
“Hell yes! We got it!”, Yn called out. She looked at Hank as the oldest in charge, “Observation?”
Hank nodded, “Would be the best idea.”
“I could do that. I won't get tired.”, Connor suggested.
“Perfect! And I accompany you.”, Yn said.
Gavin looked from yn to Connor and back at yn. Everything happened a bit too fast, “What? Why?”
Hank stood up and nudged Connor to follow him, “We go to Fowler and inform him about the newest information.”, he said to yn and Gavin who didn't listen at all. Gavin was just staring at yn.
“What is your problem, Reed?”, she asked, slowly getting annoyed by his behavior all the time.
“You get yourself into danger! That's my problem!”, he argued coldly.
Yn huffed out, looking doubtful with one raised brow, “Danger? An observation? A snail race would be more dangerous than an observation because of all the slime. What shall happen? That I die out of boredom? I also have the handsome Terminator by my side.”, she pointed out, mentioning one of her favorite movie characters.
Gavin gritted his teeth. Looking away because of this comment and the memory of the dream he had of yn and Connor.
Yn saw that Gavin was on the edge… again. Once again, she had the feeling it had something to do with her but Gavin wasn’t much of a talker and liked to keep things for himself no matter how much she would push him, “Gavin, listen. Connor and I are going on this observation. You and Hank get the information in real time and you can plan the operation.”, she said and waited for him to look at her, “The operation I won't attend.”
“What?”
“I will be there to support you. But I will stay away from any line of fire. Therefore, you don't have to worry about me. Okay?”, yn said with a soft smile.
Gavin squinted his eyes and looked suspicious at her. He knew there had to be a twist somewhere. Yn usually never skipped action when it got offered, “What's the catch?”
“Well, I realized if I push you more, this vein on your neck could explode. And I want to prevent that. I still kinda like you, grumpy cat.”, she said with a wink and stood up to get new coffee for herself and Gavin.
**
Later, Connor picked yn up from her home. She had changed into comfortable clothes. To sit in a car, maybe for several hours, didn't demand fancy clothes. So, dressed in jeans and a big, cozy, black pullover she had snatched from Gavin once and prepared with coffee and a bunch of snacks, she entered the black car Connor had gotten from Hank. It would be less striking because it was an older model and looked more suitable for a drug scene.
They drove through Detroit to reach the docks. Soft rock music was playing on the radio but Connor wanted to level up his smalltalk skills. He knew yn would be the right person to train this so he asked: “You really wanna go on observation? I always thought humans wouldn’t like that?”
Yn chuckled, “Yeah, that’s true. For us cops it feels like doing nothing. Even if we do something but … observations aren’t liked by everyone.”
“Like Reed?”
"Yeah, but also Hank. Oh, speaking of, how's working with him?", yn asked interested. She saw a smile appear on the android's lips which let him look more boyish… even more handsome.
"It's improving. I mean, we had a rough start with the deviant case and the revolution but… we grow as a team.", Connor answered honestly. Through the darkness, he saw her staring at him. It wasn’t unpleasant … quite the opposite.
"I like to hear that. Hank is… well, since Cole died, he was too alone. It's good that you can change that.", the remembrance of Hank’s loss was still hurtful for her. She couldn’t imagine what Hank felt but to have a new partner by his side like Connor would help the old man to get back on track.
"Can I ask you something, yn?", Connor asked softly.
"Shoot it."
"How's working with Detective Reed?"
"With Gavin?", yn asked surprised. She has expected many questions but not this one, "Uhm… good as always. Why do you ask?"
Connor searched for the right words, "He's… We had some troubles as I came to the DPD. But you seem to be able to talk back to him without him getting aggressive and stuff."
Yn chuckled, "Oh, he gets aggressive but he knows I would defend myself no matter what he would try. We had been there at this point once. But...I see what you mean. Gavin can be a… how shall I say it-"
"An asshole?", Connor tried to help her find the right answer.
The android’s directness, caused her to laugh, "Yeah, absolutely. But no, I meant something like 'challenging'. Look, he's not a bad guy-"
"I got a different impression.", Connor said dryly.
"I'm not sure what happened between the two of you but... whatever it was, that you're an android is not helpful."
"Oh trust me, I already learnt that he hates androids."
"Yeah, but there's a reason. I don't want to apologize for his behavior but his mother was one of the people who lost their jobs because of androids a few years ago. He was a teenager as his mother got replaced. He had a rough time and he had to fight for a lot of things. Obviously, you, as an investigator, triggered his aggression once again."
Connor raised his brows as he made a connection between the different information, "You mean he thought I could replace you?"
"Me?", yn asked surprised.
"Hank told me that you got injured in your last case with Reed."
"Oh, yeah…”, yn nodded. Her injuries, that she couldn’t work for some time and the fact that an android investigator had appeared in the DPD at the same time might have had some effect on Gavin. Added to the fact that he still felt guilty and that he seemed to be bothered with something else, could raise his temper immensely, “Maybe that might be a reason...sure. We already have android support. But seeing you could have kindled his fear to get replaced by an android as well."
While Connor processed the latest information, the conversation slowed down. Both were following their own thoughts as Connor searched for a good observation spot near the only warehouse at the docks they could find. Suddenly, some of Gavin’s latest behavior seemed to make sense to yn. It shouldn’t be an excuse but Gavin Reed was a good guy … he just lost his temper too fast.
Connor stopped the engine and he and yn were reaching for the radio to turn it off. In the middle, their hands touched and both looked at each other with a sheepishly expression. Under his soft glance, yn felt her cheeks reddening. Connor noticed the color in her face and because he liked the sight, he wanted to see it again, "You're very nice, yn.", Connor said softly.
Yn blinked and looked at her hands, not knowing where these feelings were coming from … and what feelings it were in general, "Thanks."
Connor turned over and leant forward to her, imitating the movements he had seen on JoJo as he was flirting with her, "I really mean that. Compared to Reed, you're pure joy. I like working with you."
Yn looked up into his soft brown eyes. Was he flirting with her? The glance in his eyes, the smile on his lips, what he said, all of it was evidence of a flirty behavior but was this his intention? And … wanted yn that he did that? She liked Connor but … like this? Unsure about the answer to the last question, she tried to ease the moment, "Compared to Reed, a stone is joyful. But thanks, Connor. I like working with you, too."
Before Connor could say something else, a text message on yn’s phone distracted her and the strange moment was gone. She thanked silently for this kind of distraction while she read the message. She was surprised and thankful for Gavin’s timing, What takes you two so fucking long to get there?
"It's Mr Pure Sunshine. Turn on the radio station. Otherwise, he will crawl through the cord on his own to check on us."
Connor followed her instructions and turned on the radio with a not so amused expression.
"Hank? Gavin? We're here.", yn said as the line was free.
"What took you two so long to get there?", Gavin asked harshly, repeating his message.
"You know, I had nothing to wear and Connor helped me to pick out the right clothes as I just left the shower-"
"Yn!", Gavin grunted.
She could hear how annoyed he was, "Hell, calm down. We needed a bit to find a good place."
The hours were ticking by and the observation had been as boring as it sounded until the bug started to transmit. The information were good. The bug on JoJo was still sending a strong signal and so, Hank and Gavin could still hear what the dealer was talking while Connor and yn could see who entered and left the warehouse. As yn watched how a bunch of dealers AND seemingly the boss himself left the warehouse, yn was surprised that they worked so visible. Maybe the android revolution had made all the other criminals a bit more careless because they thought Detroit would have other problems?
“They’re leaving. The boss, as well. That was faster than expected.”, you said astonished.
“Then, I would say we’re done for today. Obviously, in two days there will be another meeting in this warehouse.”, Hank said.
“Good to know. Tomorrow, we should plan out the operation. Maybe we can get Captain Allen’s support. With his unit, we could arrest all at once.”, yn proposed. All agreed on this idea and the station radio got turned off.
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opsimwritingagain · 3 years
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Kiss Your Wounds
Kyle O’reilly x Reader
Rating: E
Word count: 2,278 (yikes!)
Warnings: angst, cursing, blood
Summary: after a horrible situation between Kyle and Adam, Kyle confesses something to the Reader.
This is the first time i post something like this in ages, i apologize with the grammar, English isn’t my first language, hope y’all like it.
I’ve been friends with Kyle for a long time, but that is just that we’ve been friends, neither he nor I have taken another step and, it’s because he already has someone else.
I was always afraid to confess how I felt, long before his relationship with Chrissy began, although there were times when I was able to confess to him and even he seemed to feel the same, but in the end, it was not like that or at least I didn't let it happen.
Between Adam and Kyle the tension has grown for a long time, it was difficult to explain but for some time now the great bond of friendship has broken little by little, they started with little jokes that escalated to tensions, then they were cursing each other, and finally we got to the situation in which we found ourselves; kyle and adam hitting each other outside a bar, while Roddy and Bobby tried to separate them, sadly taking quite a few punches.
"guys, enough" Roddy yelled, people came closer and closer to see what was happening.
"Adam, stop it, Kyle let him go" I screamed as I could and in the distance I could hear someone calling the police.
"guys, stop, stop now, the police are coming" just at that moment, maybe destiny?, Roddy and Bobby could finally separate them.
All of this was too much, the tension, the people making a circle making the space smaller, the anger in the air grow stronger. Suddenly sirens are heard and the blue and red lights are seen closer to us, part of the audience that Kyle and Adam gathered began to disperse.
"Ok people there’s nothing else to see" said a police officer, the remaining people began to leave "you two are coming with us".
"sir, wait" I interfered "they already stopped, besides I think this will not happen again, right?" I looked at both of them, but honestly I doubt this will end here.
"I will if he apologizes," Adam said, then he spit out some blood from his mouth.
"Me? apologize? why would I have to apologize if the one who’s been acting like an asshole for all these years is you " I saw Kyle's knuckles turned white, trying to contain his anger.
"You're an idiot O’reilly" it all went so fast, we didn't realize that Adam managed to get free of Roddy, throwing himself at Kyle and punching him, causing his lower lip to bust and begin to bleed.
"ADAM NO" Roddy, Bobby and I yelled at the same time.
"Ok enough, the two of you are coming with us" as much as we tried to do something, we couldn't, Adam was being handcuffed and Kyle was already in the back of the police car.
"Y/N Roddy and I will get ahead to the station, we’ll see what we can do so this situation doesn’t get worse".
"Here, take my car and meet us there, try to call Britt and Chrissy, we'll see you at the station" Roddy hands me his keys and they cross the street so they can leave in Bobby's car.
Calling Britt wouldn't be difficult, the difficult thing would be calling Chrissy. The two of us don’t have the best relationship, although we treat each other with respect and greet each other if necessary, we are not friends and I doubt that in the future we’ll be, I thought that Chrissy has noticed the way I feel for Kyle and that’s why she doesn't like me. But it wasn’t time to think about our "rivalry", it was time to get Kyle and Adam out of the situation they got into.
After talking calmly as possible with Britt and explaining what happened and where were I was going, I started to call Chrissy, she didn’t answer and I had already lost count of how many times I called her.
"Hey Chrissy, this is ____, look Adam and Kyle argued and it got a little bit violent, now we are on our way to the police station, please communicate with any of us as soon as possible" I said after her voicemail was heard—for the thousandth time—.
Once I parked the car I entered the station as quickly as possible, meeting Britt, Roddy and Bobby, Britt approached me giving me a warm hug.
"Where’s Chrissy?" Britt asked
"I don't know, I called her many times and she never answered, I left her a message anyway"
"Adam doesn’t come out of this alive, I have talked to him so many times, this stupid fight with Kyle has already gone too far" Britt sat in one of the reception chairs, with her hands she covered her face trying to contain the frustration and tears due to the situation we were in.
"I really want to understand how it all started, it was so sudden that I can’t connect the dots, for years we’ve been fine and now this thing in the bar, I don't know what caused it" I sat next to her while hugging her to calm her down a bit.
After a long wait, we were able to get Kyle and Adam out — all of us had to pay the fees that were given to them — they both looked bad, bruises scratches all over their faces and I imagine part of their arms and torso.
"Well, Adam and I are leaving, thank you guys very much, believe me if it was up to me he stayed here" Britt said, provoking a small laugh between us — but not from Kyle and Adam—.
"Well, I think we’ll have to talk about this" said Bobby "but not now, we are tired, it’s best to leave it for later".
"Ah Y/N, your car is in the parking lot of the bar, take mine and tomorrow after training I’ll take you for it" said Roddy "will you take Kyle to his house?" He asks, I nod with a little smile, we say goodbye and everyone goes their own way.
“Let’s go” I said
As I could, I took Kyle to the car, he slowly sat in the passenger seat letting out occasional groans of pain. I started the car, the sound of the engine was the only thing that could be heard, I didn't know what to say and the truth was I didn’t know if there was anything to say, until he spoke.
"Did you call Chrissy?" Sure, there was no other reason why he would talk to me, not even an apology for the scene they both made, which was fair and they owed us.
"Yes, but she didn't answer," I replied coldly, making him understand that I didn't want to talk to him and I started driving.
The drive home was awkward and annoying, I wanted so badly to tell him how angry I was, how embarrassing it was for us to go to the station for a stupid fight that we didn't even know — or at least I didn’t— why it started. But my sadness and anger was bigger than the most probable thing is that the one who’ll end up crying would be me and not him, I was so deep in my thoughts that I had not realized that we arrived, I drove so naturally to his house, as I used to do before.
As I could, I took him inside laying him on his bed, little gasps of pain came out of him. Surely tomorrow he’ll have to go to the hospital to be checked, but that was no longer my duty (even if I wanted to be).
"Well, see you ..." I could feel his hand taking mine causing my heart to beat fast.
"No, please stay, at least until I fall asleep" his face reflected pain, I don't know if it was because his body was agonizing from the punches or it was because if I left he would be alone.
"Kyle don’t ... I ... I can't" I wanted to leave but again he took me by the hand a little harder, surely the effort hurt because I could hear his groan of pain.
"Please ... just until ... don't go" I watched a few tears come out of his eyes.
"I'm an idiot, I shouldn't have acted like that, it's just that all these years, this accumulated frustration, I couldn't contain it anymore" I sat next to him.
"Adam has always been the best, the one who has everything, but Bobby, Roddy and I are always in second place and he really seem to not care, nothing matters, as long as he continues as spotlight everything is fine" Kyle tries to sit down whining with pain, I help him by putting a pillow so that it doesn't hurt anymore.
"At the bar he said something" I looked at him confused as he set his look somewhere in his room.
“What did he say?”
"He said that I was a coward and that the clear example of that was you"
"Me? and what do I have to do with that? " I asked confused, but my heart and mind knowing what he might mean.
"I ... for many years I have loved you, but Adam is right, I was a coward and I never told you, I fear rejection" he took a pause "I was close to telling you, but then I saw that you and Marcel ... well"
"Between Marcel and me there was nothing" thanks to the darkness of the room Kyle could not see that my eyes began to water when I remembered the asshole of Marcel and the pain he caused to me in such a short time.
"Well, I thought so, that's why I started dating Chrissy, I didn't want to ruin anything for you, plus I didn't know if you'd correspond me"
"Kyle ... I felt the same ... shit who am I lying to, I still do it" I stood up I couldn't see to his face, I wanted to cry, but I didn't want him to see it, I stood in front of his window trying to distract myself with anything.
I feel one of his hands rests on my back while with his thumb caresses me tenderly, with his other hand takes my chin to turn my face, I put a little strength but in the end I turn and look at him, from his cheek rolls few tears, he brings his forehead to mine and I close my eyes, so I can't see him and I can avoid kissing him. I can't do it, he is with Chrissy I can't do this to her, she doesn't deserve it, it doesn't matter that we don't get along, no one deserves to go through something like this, I can't do this, I want to run and forget about everything, especially Kyle.
"Look at me" with his thumb he wipes my tears.
"No, please don't" I squeeze my eyes trying to hold back all the tears that wanted to come out.
"Y/N look at me" even if I resist I slowly open my eyes, seeing him a little blurred because of the tears that accumulated in my eyes.
"Kyle"
"Yes?"
“I love you..."
"I…"
"Let me finish" I interrupt him
"I love you, you don't know how much I do it, but this is not right, I can't do this to Chrissy, I know that we don't get along, but she doesn't deserve this" I walk away from him and I sit on his bed again, covering my face with my hands.
"Chrissy, you worry about her too much, when she didn't even care about what happened."
"So? that's not on me, I can't do this to her, I couldn't live with this Kyle "
At this point it was impossible to contain my tears and I began to cry, I didn’t think this moment would be so painful. I can feel how Kyle gets on his knees and his hands remove mine from my face, I look up to see him in the eyes and the pain in my heart intensifies more.
"Stay with me, hold me until this pain is gone, don't leave me" my heart breaks again, I can see the pain and sincerity in his eyes.
"I would kiss each of your wounds ... but" I let out a sigh "you are not mine and you’ll never be" I caressed his face with my thumb and brought our foreheads together again, the only thing that could be heard in the whole house was our sobs.
"Kyle, Kyle, are you here?" We separated abruptly, we recognized that voice immediately, Chrissy was home.
"No one answered me until Britt ..." Chrissy froze as she looked at the two of us sitting on the bed, far enough apart so she didn't suspect anything.
"Oh, hi Y/N I didn't know you’d be here" the atmosphere in the room had become tense and uncomfortable, I got up quickly.
"Yeah, mmm I just brought Kyle home, I'll leave you guys alone" Chrissy stepped aside so I could leave the room but Kyle spoke.
"Y/N" I turned to see him and i tried so hard to not cry anymore "thank you" he smiled at me.
"It was nothing, bye, take care Chrissy"
I got out of there as fast as possible, getting in the car and turning it on, on my way back home the best thing I could do was cry, I loved Kyle more than I loved someone in my life, I had never felt something like this before, but as I told him he’s not mine and I think he’ll never be.
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