#cold open

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt VII good omens S1E3 but i'm in a fever-induced haze and i watched it four days ago

Hello maggots it turns out I may have a viral fever... or perchance I'm just going viral in the GO fandom and Crowley being so hot has given me a fever (this is what I learned from years of studying thermodynamics). BAHAHAHAHAHAH anyway this is a LOOOONG post.

EDIT: There are time inconsistencies, as some of you informed me. Paint before wall slam etc. But this show does not follow linear time, just like me. Time is cosmic Play-Doh, and @neil-gaiman, Einstein and I are toddlers playing with it all bendy-bendy. We may have eaten some. I blame Neil. So I will correct nothing.

(im sorry to all my followers, the maggots, and everyone reading this post, i'm afraid this level of quality will be sustained for the rest of the post)

Whatever it may be... haveth my summary of Good Omens Ep3, or whatever I remember of it, anyway.

The second the episode started streaming everyone was yelling about the cold open in the chat.

I could be conflating this with Ep 1 but I think it begins with Aziraphale's gaslight gatekeep girlboss moment where he straight up LIES TO GOD about giving the dumb humans a flaming sword right after they fell from grace.

Hot take from someone who has negligible biblical knowledge, look at it, guys. What harm has an apple ever done to mankind (except to doctors)? Nothing. *nods vigorously* And then our lovely angel goes and gIVES THEM A GODDAMN FLAMING SWORD. Nice, fire and weaponry, this is going to go well for the world!

Anyway lesson is Aziraphale is a chaotic lil bastard and it's why we and Crowley love him.

Fast forward to uh, Noah's Ark... There is a unicorn and it runs away, which Crowley/Crawly seems concerned about. Azi is just chilling there watching all of humanity be drowned and Crowley, looking gorgeous may I add, walks up and she's like CHILDREN? WHY ARE YOU KILLING CHILDREN?

Did I mention that she looks gorgeous with those flowing locks because she does. It gives kind of Disney Brave vibes, doesn't it? Wait is David Tennant Scottish I WANT A DAVID TENNANT/CROWLEY MERIDA COSPLAY.

Anyway so Aziraphale and Crowley watch everyone drown etc

I may have missed a few centuries but then we have ol' Bill Shakespeare and Hamlet (David!!) and Aziraphale like the bean he is wants to cheer them on, and does it badly.

Crowley is standing there thinking man this angel is a fucking doofus why do I love him, and then they make a deal that allows them to do NO work whatsoever since their work cancels out anyway.

Aziraphale pouts at Crowley and Crowley melts inside and makes Hamlet a success though he doesn't even like Shakespeare's tragedies but Azi does and that's all that matters.

OH YEAH FRENCH REVOLUTION. Just to fuck with Aziraphale and because the painkillers are getting to me, I'm gonna do this one in my shit French (et non, je ne peux pas utiliser les accents, j'utilise l'ordinateur et je ne veux pas ouvrir Google). Alors, la revolution est la, Aziraphale veut manger (quelle surprise) et ses vetements sont tres chers, les sans-culottes le tueront, mais Crowley vient et Aziraphale dis "Crowley! Mon hero"

Okay I ran out of French but yes so he was gonna be hanged but Crowley came and Aziraphale's face literally melted and then he switched clothes with the guard and left him to die while he and Crowley went to dine happily (Aziraphale dined, Crowley was hungry for Azi because he has a watching-angel-eat kink).

Aziraphale being a casual accessory to murder/murderer is the most underrated part of good omens.

Fast forward and it's the holocaust and Aziraphale is tricked by some Nazis and they're about to kill him. But Crowley walks down the aisle to their groom, well, more like skips while yelping, and burns the place down for Aziraphale. Naturally Azi's like OH NO MY BOOKS and is ready to cry, then Crowley gently hands him the suitcase full of books unharmed and says just a little miracle for you, baby, want a ride home? And Aziraphale is left holding the books (which by the by Crowley does not care about, they do NOT read books, again, just for Azi) and looking like the happiest man alive and like he would die for Crowley.

Fast forward and we have Crowley in the sixties SERVING with her bob cut, anyone who doesn't like it can fight me to the DEATH, I LOVE HER, and anyway Crowley manipulates, manslaughters and manwhores her way into getting into the car with Aziraphale. He hands her a bottle of holy water because fuck heaven he would do anything for Crowley, and Crowley offers to drive him anywhere (mmmhm Crowley sure you're just being a gentledemon) and Aziraphale tells her that she goes too fast for him. IF THIS ISN'T CALLBACKED IN S3 WITH CROWLEY SAYING "YOU RIDE TOO FAST FOR ME, ANGEL" on a motorbike or horse or his peepee ANYTHING IDC im gonna throw hands.

I'm choosing to forget all the breakups so end cold open back in present day

They're in a paintball arena and Crowley presses Aziraphale into the wall while growling I'm not nice (ok Crowley bro maybe it's time to take a break from 2010s wattpad) and Aziraphale is just gazing adoringly at him. Ex-Satanic nun comes and is like oh my bad this is an intimate moment and Crowley turns around immediately cross that someone's interrupting them but Aziraphale continues to stare at Crowley's face hornily until he reluctantly looks at the nun too. Thanks for the acting choices Michael Sheen.

They hypnotise her and Azi melts when she mentions the antichrist's toesy-woesies and then they leave and Azi is hit by paint, Crowley circles him devouring him with his gaze and finally blows away the paint with an air kiss. I see you, Azi, I KNOW you can get rid of it yourself. Anyway then Crowley turns all the paintball guns into rifles and people start shooting and Azi is like THIS is my husband and they walk away to have drinks while the police swarms.

People were like 'Crowley only ensured no one got killed because of the look Azi gave him' like LMAO have you MET them? Aziraphale is always fucking down for murder, Crowley is the one being like FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AZIRAPHALE NO. Azi was like "shit we gotta kill the antichrist you do it" and crowley's like "bitch slow down we can literally just raise the kid right"

Anyway Crowley gaslights some demons about seeing the hellhound and ig whatever I said happened in Ep 2 with Dog actually happened here etc

The bandstand scene, fuck me. Crowley asks Aziraphale to run away together from the end of the world and Aziraphale says no and they're both sad

we're all sad too

the end

#good omens #good omens mascot #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #good omens fandom #lgbtqia #neil gaiman #aziraley #azirowley #good omens summary #accurate good omens #totally #good omens s1 #good omens episode 3 #good omens cold open #cold open #go 2 #ineffable fandom #ineffable husbands #good ineffable omens #ineffable spouses #asmi #weirdly specific but ok #good omens badly explained

[contemplatingoutlander]

State of the Union Cold Open - SNL

CNN covers President Biden’s (Mikey Day) State of the Union address and Republican Senator Katie Britt's (Scarlett Johansson) response.

[edited]

#saturday night live #cold open #katie britt #scarlett johasson #president biden #mikey day #state of the union #satire #Youtube #my gifs

[blue-rick24]

how dare they

#rick and morty screengrabs #my post #rick sanchez #rick and morty #RAT CLENCHES FIST IN RAGE #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty season 7 spoilers #cold open #rick and morty cold open #air force wong #funyuns #the president r&m #president andre curtis

[socialjusticeinamerica]

The cast spoofs Trump, CNN hosts Gayle King/Charles Barkley, and Nikki Haley makes a surprise cameo.

#SNL #saturday night live #Trump parody #republican assholes #Nikki Haley cameo #cold open #Youtube

[ineffably-good]

Ineffable May Day 15: Cold Open

In my headcanon for today's entry in the Ineffable May ephemera project, I'm imagining that before Aziraphale tracked the black knight down in the wet, marshy fens, he spent some time trying to have Crowley found and brought to him. Because who would really want to get that damp if they didn't have to? Here's a poster that he may have slathered on various church doors.

#good omens #ineffable may #ineffablemay #good omens fanart #cold open #aziraphale really wants to hang out with crowley

[christiecandor]

Extended cold open out!

#rick and morty #ricksanchez #rick sanchez #rick and morty spoilers #sexy sanchez #season 7 #morty smith #rickandmorty #Mort: Ragnarick #s7e9 #rick sanchez x reader #jerry smith #rick and morty cold open #cold open #adult swim #Youtube #rick and morty fandom #rick and morty season 7 #rick c137 #rickfucker #rickkisser #rick

[aziraphales-flaming-cock]

I can't believe I forgot to post this RRRAAAA

This was for the ineffable may prompt for the 15th! The cold open (my absolute favorite episode!)

#good omens fanart #afcart #my art #aziraphale #crowley #cold open #rome Crowley #ineffable may

[sadiecoocoo]

So far S1 of final space has been my favorite for multiple reasons, the main one being the opening scenes of Gary talking Hue in space.

It was interesting how each conversation had some way of teasing what the episode would be abt, like in one Gary asked abt Avocato, hue said that Avocato wasn’t coming, and that episode was the one that Avo died.

It gave us something to be worried abt as the season progressed, as we saw the main character, who’s usually so happy and goofy, reflected on his life and what went wrong. It also made me want to keep going and see what in the world caused that ending

I’m a little sad that we didn’t get something like that for S2 or 3, but I get that there’s only so much Gary can reflect on while he dies lol

#final space #gary goodspeed #avocato #opening #teaser #cold open #mini rant #character analysis

[cherry-angel-with-a-twist]

Season 7 episode 3... I can't believe we're here already, it seems like yesterday I was still counting down the days for episode 1.

I like how Rick goes to therapy in the cold open and actually makes himself kind of comfortable with his bag on funyuns he left there the previous week, which means that he goes regularly now. Great step for self improvement.

The fact that he doesn't want the president to date his therapist, his possessive behavior was funny, it's his therapist and he doesn't want her to date anyone he knows. Why? I don't know... Maybe because he thinks she might ask him about them , or maybe he knows the president better than we as the viewers know... He is the smartest man, he probably knows every detail of the president and he might think that they wouldn't make a great couple. The fact that he would have fought the president for that reason was really cool, he stands up for what he believes in, he'd even start a whole new war about it.

The way he apologizes for calling the scientologist a space Mormon, admitting that it was a cheap shot and telling him that he likes Tom Cruise (from that movie barbeque (total rickall s2 e4)😂 even though it was cocktail) was also a huge leap for Rick, he doesn't apologize or open up, he's had a lot of character growth, hopefully we'll see it between him and Morty as well... Which will hopefully be seen a lot more in tomorrow's episode.

#i have thoroughly enjoyed the scenes we've seen morty #but i really hope that we see more of him #it's been almost three episodes and we've barely seen him #and to be honest morty is my favorite character #rick and morty #air force wong #rick and morty season 7 #spoilers? #rick has really grown as a character #it's great to see #cold open #why did I analyze it like this #i don't know #did i analyze it? #whatever

[blackswaneuroparedux]

When someone's behind you on skis at 40 miles per hour trying to put a bullet in your back, you don't always have time to remember a face. In our business, Anya, people get killed. We both know that. So did he. It was either him or me. The answer to the question is yes. I did kill him.

- James Bond, The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

The greatest James Bond intro opening of any Bond film. 

#bond #james bond #quote #the spy who loved me #movie #cinema #film #roger moore #ski #skiing #cold open

[imkrisyoung]

Facebook Hearings Cold Open - SNL

#youtube #video #saturday night live #snl #cold open #facebook #cspan #lol #funny

[contemplatingoutlander]

Trump Courthouse Cold Open - SNL

Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) speaks to the media after appearing in court for his E. Jean Carroll defamation trial.

#snl #saturday night live #trump #cold open #james austin johnson #Youtube

[blue-rick24]

he’s so fucking smug

#rick sanchez #rick and morty promos #teaser #preview #sneak peek #cold open #air force wong #rick and morty videos #video #I love him to death #rickkisser #rickfucker

[truckeeriverkiller]

Reno 911

S02E09

#reno 911 #video #to be seen #cold open

[lil-bigoxymoron]

#good omens #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable idiots #aziracrow #gomens #goodomens #ineffable may #good omens fanart #fanart #cold open #cold Crowley #grocery store freezer section #he’s a snake-y boi

[words-after-midnight]

lol the other day I was watching a video where someone was discussing their horror movie pet peeves, and one of them was "when the movie starts with a cutscene of something I'm already going to see later in the movie"... when I say I was laughing so hard because, for real, if I ever open a story NOT cold, y'all need to call 911 immediately because I'm either deathly ill or I've been replaced by a nefarious impostor.

#i was like... bestie i respect you but i CANNOT relate 🤣😭 #writeblr #cold open