#clarification for the first tag: this is the THIRD time somebody has outed me. i NEVER talk about being trans to... pretty much ANYBODY irl

[sophieskatesreads]

Omegaverse Exchange Requested Tag List

This is my first time actually posting a thing on Tumblr; I generally just use Twitter, so if I fuck this up in any way, apologies and please let me know. Yes, I know that anyone who follows me (and probably others? Again, Tumblr novice) can see this, but it’s basically only being written/posted for the person who fills my exchange request. So, others, feel free to ignore-- or you can read this, if you feel like it.

Anyway.

Welcome, poor soul who has received me as a request! I’d like to say, first and foremost, that this is very long; you do not have to read it/read all of it. This is just a compilation of my favorite tags out of the tag collection (all of which I’m okay with being used) and a lazy grouping of them by category for you to peruse, in case you need ideas. Generally, my only “rules” for requests are that the fic has to be written in third person, if the YOI pairing is chosen, his name is “Yuri” or “Yura,”-- NOT “YURIO,” and that if pregnancy is involved (which is very much encouraged) it’s Yuri or Lio who is pregnant. The further along, the bigger the belly, the better. Multiples are great, for example.

Depending on the tags you choose, sex may or may not be incorporated into the fic, going by your preference. There are some smutty tags I specifically asked for (which you’ll see below), so, obviously, smut is fine for those if they're used, but, generally, I'm not too moved by it. Unless the smut fulfills a specific tag, then I generally skim over it, just because it's not very interesting to me. (See the tags I chose: they almost all fulfill specific kinks. Without the kinks, I don’t care about sex much.) So, sex is not a DNW, but unless it was requested, I prefer my fics to be composed of plot-- not endless smut. If you need further clarification, please let me know!

I have no DNWs as far as content goes: I’ll happily receive anything-- from fluffy domesticity, to the horrific scenes that the tags outline below. You couldn’t squick me out if you tried, either through medical procedures, gore, or torture, so have fun with this.

Those are my general instructions, so onto the tag grouping! Some are listed multiple times; it may be because they’re applicable/desired across several categories, or because I’m tired as I type this, lol. Again, these lists are a lot, so please feel free to ignore them: they’re only here to help, if you want them. 

YURI GOES INTO HEAT; YAKOV AND/OR LILIA TAKE CARE OF HIM NON-SEXUALLY.

Non-Sexually Taking Care Of Omega Child During Their First Heat

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

omega has overwhelming heats

omega is oblivious of their heat approaching until too late

Omega's first heat brought on early due to trauma

Omega's first heat delayed due to trauma

plot happenings keep characters too busy to notice heat/rut coming on

A/B/O Worldbuilding

YURI OR LIO IS CAUGHT SOMEHOW AND SUBJECTED TO MEDICAL EXPERIMENTATION/TRANSITION THAT TURNS HIM INTO AN OMEGA. (I THINK THE CIRCUMSTANCES LEND THEMSELVES TO LIO, BUT I DON’T HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR WHICH OF THEM THIS HAPPENS TO).

Alpha dubcons Alpha into getting fucked and knotted

Alpha gets knotted against their will

Alpha is Forcibly Changed to Omega

Breeding Kink

Alpha character gets nonconned by other alphas until they become an omega

Catboy Omegaverse

Childbirth

resurrection turns alpha into omega

Going into heat while on run from authorities really inconvenient

Heat inducement as a punishment

Heat/rut is physically painful (unless having sex)

Knot Edging

Knots stay inflated for at least an hour

Lactation - Drugs To Make Omega Lactate Whenever Their Alpha Wants

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Law can seize 'rebellious' omegas at any point for corrective public use

medical experiment to turn beta into omega

Miscarriage

labor/birth is extremely difficult and painful for male omegas

Medical experiment to turn alpha into omega

Null's presentation delayed due to trauma

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

Omega character is repulsed by alphas instead of attracted to them

omega forced to beg for knot

Omega freedom fighters in Handmaid's Tale-esque dystopia

omega forced to beg to be bred

omega gets fucked and knotted immediately after giving birth

omega given to alpha as a political favor

omega has overwhelming heats

Omega recovering from abuse needs to call the shots during sex

Omega's first heat brought on early due to trauma

Omega's first heat delayed due to trauma

Omegas always get pregnant with multiples

Omegas Are Societally Obligated To Be Pregnant As Often As Possible

Pregnancy detected by scent

past discrimination victim accepting and embracing their secondary gender

plot happenings keep characters too busy to notice heat/rut coming on

Pregnancy

Protective alpha growling when they don’t like how their mate is treated

A/B/O Worldbuilding

I HAVE A SPECIFIC MENTAL AU THAT THESE TAGS APPLY TO, SO I’M COLLECTING THEM FOR MY OWN CONVENIENCE, BUT MAKE OF THIS AMALGAMATION WHAT YOU WILL. MY AU FEATURES OTAYURI, BUT I DON’T HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR WHICH PAIRING THESE TAGS ARE USED FOR.

Breeding Kink

Soothing touch starved character with comforting or sexy touches

Alpha/omega rape during heats is socially acceptable and not seen as rape

Alphas Are Common and Omegas Are Rare

Breeding as a punishment for a crime

Catboy Omegaverse

breaking previous mating bond

Character thinks nesting is ridiculous - does it anyway

Childbirth

gentle alpha

Heat/rut is physically painful (unless having sex)

Intimacy while being tied

Intricate Courting Rituals

A is embarrassed by nesting urges; B joins in to help them feel less self-conscious

Knot Edging

Knots stay inflated for at least an hour

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Late blooming omega thought he was a beta until accidental pregnancy proved otherwise

Miscarriage

Nesting - Omega Embarrassed Over Being Caught Stealing Clothes For Nest

labor/birth is extremely difficult and painful for male omegas

Nesting With Kids

Omega addicted to being bred

Null character thought they were asexual; turns out they are wildly attracted to alpha character

Omega Angry About Being Omega

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

Omega character is repulsed by alphas instead of attracted to them

Omega Builds Nest To Support Them While Heavily Pregnant So They Can Still Be Fucked Hard

omega feels safe around alpha

omega has overwhelming heats

Alpha Claims Omega Friend In Order To Protect Them From Public Use

Omega hates the scent of Alphas until they find their True Mate

A/B/O Worldbuilding

Omegas always get pregnant with multiples

Omega's Have Pregnancy Heats As A Way To Bond With Their Alpha When Already Pregnant

Omegas Are Societally Obligated To Be Pregnant As Often As Possible

Pregnancy

Protective alpha growling when they don’t like how their mate is treated

Scent Compatibility

Scenting/marking/nuzzling pregnant belly

Smelling Distress Of Their Omega Turns Alpha Feral

Scenting - "platonic" snuggling because your friend smells really comforting

Scenting - Alpha Purposefully Scent-Marks Someone To Stake Their Claim & Ward Off Other Alphas

Scenting in moments of distress to calm down

Stealth Scent Marking While Pining

Alpha tries to prove a worthy mate & parent by being nurturing

A/B/O Worldbuilding

a/b/o courtship traditions

a/b/o pack dynamics

Alpha brings Omega resources to build nest

A/B/O Regency

alpha builds a nest for the omega

Alpha burdened by an emotional need to protect everyone

alpha cares for injured omega after bad run-in with another alpha

GENERAL STORIES: ALL-INCLUSIVE. THESE ARE RANDOM TAGS THAT I’VE COMPILED THAT I LIKE, EVEN IF THEY DON’T FIT INTO ANY OF THE LISTED CATEGORIES. IF THEY DO, I LIKE THEM ENOUGH TO LIST THEM TWICE. :SHRUG: I DON’T HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR WHICH PAIRING THESE TAGS ARE USED FOR.

Alpha Embarrassed to Shop in Estrus Products Aisle

Alpha is aggressively protective of their pregnant partner

Workplace heat leave policy leaves a lot to be desired

Alpha Students Feel Non-Sexually Protective Of Omega Teacher

Alpha tries to prove a worthy mate & parent by being nurturing

Scenting - Alpha Purposefully Scent-Marks Someone To Stake Their Claim & Ward Off Other Alphas

Scenting - Common For Young Alphas To Accidentally Scent-Mark Their Teachers/Peers (Platonically)

Soothing touch starved character with comforting or sexy touches

Scenting - Getting Embarassed Over Accidentally Scent-Marking Someone

Scenting - knowing somebody is about to have a panic attack because their scent changes

alpha is insatiably horny around their pregnant omega

Omega hates the scent of Alphas until they find their True Mate

Alpha With Breeding Kink Can't Stop Touching Their Partner's Belly While They're Tied

Alpha's & Omega's only present when feeling safe and healthy and are null otherwise

alpha spoiling their pregnant omega with cuddling and foot rubs and midnight ice cream runs

alpha super protective over partner who can take care of themselves but finds it adorable

Alpha wolf shifter with a crush on an omega cat shifter

 Asexual character

Alphas In The Group Are Protective Of Their Omega Member(s)

Pacifist omega avoids required military service by always being pregnant

Breeding Kink

Catboy Omegaverse

Character thought he was a beta until accidental pregnancy proved otherwise

Character everyone assumes is alpha actually omega

Character thinks nesting is ridiculous - does it anyway

characters notice heat/rut coming on but plot happenings keep them too busy to do anything about it

Omega's Have Pregnancy Heats As A Way To Bond With Their Alpha When Already Pregnant

Compatible Alpha in close quarters induces heat in omega

Exhausted post-heat cuddles

Childbirth

Extremely Horny Pregnant Omega

the family pet being extra protective of pregnant omega

gentle alpha

Heat/rut is physically painful (unless having sex)

Intimacy while being tied

Intricate Courting Rituals

A is embarrassed by nesting urges; B joins in to help them feel less self-conscious

Knot Edging

Knots stay inflated for at least an hour

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Late blooming omega thought he was a beta until accidental pregnancy proved otherwise

Miscarriage

Nesting - Omega Embarrassed Over Being Caught Stealing Clothes For Nest

labor/birth is extremely difficult and painful for male omegas

Nesting With Kids

Omega addicted to being bred

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

Omega character is repulsed by alphas instead of attracted to them

Omega Builds Nest To Support Them While Heavily Pregnant So They Can Still Be Fucked Hard

Omega Coming Out Of Years-Long Mandatory Breeding Service Has To Learn To Live Again

omega feels safe around alpha

omega has overwhelming heats

Alpha Claims Omega Friend In Order To Protect Them From Public Use

Omega pretending to be alpha is revealed; alpha ship half thought their pining was hopeless

Omega recovering from abuse needs to call the shots during sex

omega is oblivious of their heat approaching until too late

Omega hero cuts short villain's monologue because they can feel a heat coming on

Omega traumatized by bad relationship with previous alpha

Omega Tries To Hide Their Status Due To Fear Of Discrimination

Omega Tries To Hide Their Status Due To Fear Of Rape

Omega unused to having a stable home surprised by sudden nesting instincts

Omega's first heat brought on early due to trauma

Omega's first heat delayed due to trauma

Omegas always get pregnant with multiples

Omegas Are Societally Obligated To Be Pregnant As Often As Possible

Pregnancy detected by scent

past discrimination victim accepting and embracing their secondary gender

plot happenings keep characters too busy to notice heat/rut coming on

Pregnancy

Protective alpha growling when they don’t like how their mate is treated

Scent Compatibility

Scenting/marking/nuzzling pregnant belly

Smelling Distress Of Their Omega Turns Alpha Feral

Scenting - "platonic" snuggling because your friend smells really comforting

Scenting in moments of distress to calm down

Stealth Scent Marking While Pining

Tired Teacher(s) Dealing With A/B/O Issues On Top of The Usual Teenage Hormones

Trying for a baby when wrong partner gets pregnant

Birth Quota - Omegas must birth at least one litter per year

A/B/O Worldbuilding

a/b/o courtship traditions

a/b/o pack dynamics

Alpha brings Omega resources to build nest

A/B/O Regency

alpha builds a nest for the omega

Alpha burdened by an emotional need to protect everyone

alpha cares for injured omega after bad run-in with another alpha

DYSTOPIA AU: ALL-INCLUSIVE. SELF-EXPLANATORY: THE CHARACTERS LIVE IN A DYSTOPIA, AND THESE ARE TAGS THAT CAN BE INCLUDED IN THAT. I DON’T HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR WHICH PAIRING THESE TAGS ARE USED FOR.

Alpha Sabotages Omega's Hormone Suppressors To Punish Them

Alpha shares omega partner with other alphas

alpha slut-shames omega in heat

omega is oblivious of their heat approaching until too late

Alpha/omega rape during heats is socially acceptable and not seen as rape

Alphas Are Common and Omegas Are Rare

Alphas Fight Each Other To Win The Right To Fuck Omega In Heat

alphas get dangerously rough during intense ruts

alphas get off watching omegas give birth

Artificially Induced Heat/Rut

birth control tampering

Birth Quota - Alphas must sire at least one litter per year

Birth Quota - Omegas must birth at least one litter per year

Omega Coming Out Of Years-Long Mandatory Breeding Service Is Cared For By Others

Breeding benches

Breeding as a punishment for a crime

Breeding Kink

Catboy Omegaverse

Childbirth

fake relationship - rules require omega to have an alpha

Claimed omegas are legally seen as the alpha's property

discrimination based on secondary gender

dystopian au - family units (etc) are assigned by the government

Enemies to Breeding Partners to Lovers

Foreign Omega Brought To Society Where All Omegas Are Available For Public Use

Heat inducement as a punishment

Heat/rut is physically painful (unless having sex)

government assigned marriages between alphas and omegas to encourage birth rate

Heat/Rut Inducers Used as Roofies

Knot Edging

Knots stay inflated for at least an hour

Lactation - Drugs To Make Omega Lactate Whenever Their Alpha Wants

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Law can seize 'rebellious' omegas at any point for corrective public use

medical experiment to turn beta into omega

Miscarriage

labor/birth is extremely difficult and painful for male omegas

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

Omega character is repulsed by alphas instead of attracted to them

omega forced to beg for knot

Omega freedom fighters in Handmaid's Tale-esque dystopia

Omega Coming Out Of Years-Long Mandatory Breeding Service Has To Learn To Live Again

omega considered property during trade negotiations

omega forced to beg to be bred

omega gets fucked and knotted immediately after giving birth

omega given to alpha as a political favor

omega has overwhelming heats

Omega has suppressant medication sabotaged

Omega recovering from abuse needs to call the shots during sex

Omega traumatized by bad relationship with previous alpha

Omega Tries To Hide Their Status Due To Fear Of Discrimination

Omega Tries To Hide Their Status Due To Fear Of Rape

Omega unused to having a stable home surprised by sudden nesting instincts

Omega's first heat brought on early due to trauma

Omega's first heat delayed due to trauma

Omegas always get pregnant with multiples

Omega rights activist worries they have betrayed their cause by falling for an alpha

Omega Who’s Avoided The Lottery-Based Breeding Houses For Years Finally Has Their Number Called

Omegas Are Considered The Property Of Their Alphas

Omegas are rare and highly valued for breeding purposes

Omegas are kept as pets

Omegas in heat are available for free use

Omegas in Heat Are Placed in Stocks for Public Use

Pregnancy detected by scent

past discrimination victim accepting and embracing their secondary gender

plot happenings keep characters too busy to notice heat/rut coming on

Pregnancy

Protective alpha growling when they don’t like how their mate is treated

Public Breeding Benches

State Mandated Fertility Program Matches Characters To Mate

Stirrups

Speculum

public childbirth

sadistic alphas

prolonged unsatisfied heat leaves character physically weak

Rape as a socially-accepted form of omega punishment

soldier comes home and is given an omega mate as a thank you for their service

spanking as a socially-accepted form of omega punishment

Unexpected/chemically induced heat causes Omega character to rely on enemy to help them through it

Unknown paternity after public use results in pregnancy

Virginity inspection

Unaccompanied Omegas Are Available For Free Use

Unbearable Heats Calmed by God as Stock Trope in Hagiography

Unclaimed Omegas Are Available For Free Use

Alpha Pair Who Wants Children Hires An Omega To Bear Their Child(ren)

Alpha Publically Mounts Omega To Solidify Political Treaty

Alpha determined to break a rebellious omega

Alpha Pair Who Wants Children Purchases An Omega To Breed

Alpha Sabotages Omega's Heat Blockers

Birth Quota - Omegas must birth at least one litter per year

'Ruined' Omegas Who Have Sex Before Marriage Are Tied Up In The Middle of Town For Anyone To Fuck

HEAT SMUT: ALL INCLUSIVE. SELF-EXPLANATORY.  I DON’T HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR WHICH PAIRING THESE TAGS ARE USED FOR.

Alpha worries about hurting omega with knot/omega desperate to be filled with come

alphas have obnoxious amounts of come

Alphas Fight Each Other To Win The Right To Fuck Omega In Heat

alphas get dangerously rough during intense ruts

Breeding Kink

Catboy Omegaverse

Character loses/runs out of heat/rut suppressing drugs

Character thinks nesting is ridiculous - does it anyway

characters notice heat/rut coming on but plot happenings keep them too busy to do anything about it

Childbirth

Compatible Alpha in close quarters induces heat in omega

Exhausted post-heat cuddles

Come Inflation - Alpha's knot lasting much longer than Omega expected/prepared for

Extremely Horny Pregnant Omega

Going into heat during most inoppurtune momemts

Going into heat while on run from authorities really inconvenient

gentle alpha

Intimacy while being tied

A is embarrassed by nesting urges; B joins in to help them feel less self-conscious

Knot Edging

Knots stay inflated for at least an hour

Lactation - Drugs To Make Omega Lactate Whenever Their Alpha Wants

Lactation During Heat

Lactation post-heat

Nesting - Omega Embarrassed Over Being Caught Stealing Clothes For Nest

Nesting With Kids

Omega addicted to being bred

omega begs to be knotted by their alpha

Omega being fucked full until the come spills out despite the knot

omega experiencing intense heat squirts for the first time

Omega Builds Nest To Support Them While Heavily Pregnant So They Can Still Be Fucked Hard

omega has overwhelming heats

Omega has suppressant medication sabotaged

Omega recovering from abuse needs to call the shots during sex

Omega in heat fights off Alphas to discern who is worthy to breed them

Omega in heat is irresistible to monsters

Omega in heat is receptive to being impregnated by monsters

omega is oblivious of their heat approaching until too late

Omega hero cuts short villain's monologue because they can feel a heat coming on

Omega's first heat brought on early due to trauma

Omega's first heat delayed due to trauma

Omega's Have Pregnancy Heats As A Way To Bond With Their Alpha When Already Pregnant

Omegas always get pregnant with multiples

Omegas Are Societally Obligated To Be Pregnant As Often As Possible

Omegas have band that locks on knot - it’s an extra erogenous zone

omegas have penises and vulvas

Post-Heat hormones cause healing slick - makes omegas extra tight after heat

Pregnant male omegas lactate

pregnant omegas are insatiably horny

Pregnant Sex

plot happenings keep characters too busy to notice heat/rut coming on

Public Breeding Benches

prolonged unsatisfied heat leaves character physically weak

Scent Compatibility - smelling very compatible alpha post-exercise sends omega into surprise heat

Sex to induce labor

Size Kink - big knot barely fits

Specialised sex hotels for heats/ruts

Strong empowered omega in a dominant social position still loves getting fucked/knotted/pregnant

Soothing touch starved character with comforting or sexy touches

Alpha brings Omega resources to build nest

(Those tags were copied and pasted directly from their entries in the tag collection. If there are typos, that is why.)

Did you read through all of that shit? If so, you deserve an award, lol. Regardless, I believe I’ll love whatever you create, so thank you in advance for your gift fic!

EDIT (09/06/21): Evidently I put in my request while tags were still being added. Whoops. Here are some of the new ones that I like:

- Character in denial over pregnancy that is obvious to everyone around them

- Character can't keep hands off of pregnant partner's baby bump

- Pregnant character is overdue and cranky about it

- Doting on pregnant partner

- Friends with benefits while pining further complicated by accidental pregnancy (This would be really compatible with Otayuri, lol)

- Character didn't know they were in heat until partner already came inside leading to pregnancy scare 

- First time sex leads to pregnancy despite character not even being in heat when it happened 

- Character swore they would never get pregnant again after series of miscarriages - has happier ending this time (I feel like this could be really fun with the canon-typical dystopia that Galolio comes from, but it works well for both)

- Preparing for birth of first child 

- Couple thought family was complete until surprise third or fourth pregnancy proved otherwise (I love it when Otayuri just keeps having babies (but only like four at the most). Like, “fuck, you’re having twins AGAIN? You’re going to have four kids now. Good luck, lol.”)

- A gave birth to first child so B gets to have second (B would be Yuri or Lio)

- Pregnancy announcement - friends and family assume other character is the pregnant one (I’m not sure how easily used this one would be, because I feel like in both pairings, people would expect Lio and Yuri to be the pregnant ones, but I liked this tag so I included it. Because it’s fun, and that’s reason enough, right? xD)

- Tabloid reveal of baby bump causes scandal (Works well for both fandoms; YOI because paparazzi, and Promare because “omg, the famous government official and kind of reformed arson terrorist Lio Fotia is pregnant? WHAT?”)

[buck-nialled]

Golden - H. Styles Lyric Breakdown/Analysis

NOTE: Any theories/implications I make are MY THOUGHTS ONLY. This analysis has not been confirmed/commented on by the artist. 

Song: “Golden”

Artist: Harry Styles

Album: Fine Line (2019)

Golden, golden, golden

As I open my eyes

Hold it, focus

Take me back to the light

Musician Harry Styles marks the beginning of his album with these lyrics. The artist makes a clear intention to provide listeners with scenery to depict this first track. It is also noteworthy to mention, by his pleads to bring him “back to the light” he is speaking to somebody.

I know you were way too bright for me,

I’m hopeless, broken

So you wait for me in the sky

Browns my skin just right

This section also backs-up the previous claim that Styles is sharing a conversation. His tone is somewhat solemn as he admits to being lower than the other person in the fact that he is “hopeless” and “broken.” Additionally, he is using the sky, and this person’s golden aura as a metaphor and claiming them to be a saint. By browning his skin, Styles is describing this person’s effect on him and how they are morphing him into somebody better. The line discussing this person “waiting” for him hints at Styles’ intention to reach their same status and meet them in this hypothetical sky.

You’re so golden

You’re so golden

I’m out of my head

And I know that you’re scared

Because hearts get broken

Styles once again is decreeing this person an angel of sorts in the chorus. Additionally, he also admits to knowing they fret heartbreak to come between/divide them. The cause of this “heartbreak” the golden person is suffering woes from is unknown, but I have reason to believe that it is a concern for Styles not living up to the person’s status despite his endeavors. If he does not manage to meet this person in the sky they have constructed, it seems the only other option is a split between them.

I don’t want to be alone

I don’t want to be alone

When it ends, don’t want to let you know

I don’t want to be alone

Styles is also open to sharing fears of his own in this next verse. The artist announces that not only does he worry he will endure solitude after he and this person split, but also that he is expecting an end to their relationship.

But I, I can feel it take ahold (I can feel it take a hold)

I can feel you take control (I can feel you take control)

Of who I am and all I’ve ever known

Loving you’s the antidote

Despite his dread to be alone, the artist also clarifies that he can feel “it” take control. There is no proper clarification unless you connect this with the third line of this stanza, “of who I am and all I’ve ever known”, which means Styles is suffering from his poor moral status that this golden person seems to have the opposite of. However, the musician also takes the opportunity to depict a battle for his audience by saying the person is “taking control” of “who he is” and the vast knowledge he has collected. At this point, his past self and who he and this person are yearning for him to become are combatting.

You’re so golden

I don’t want to be alone

You’re so golden

You’re so golden

I’m out of my head

And I know that you’re scared

Because hearts get broken

In this chorus, Styles seems to combine his prior thoughts and statements into one in an attempt to voice to the person that he is scared too, but it is only a matter of time before their relationship fails. The artist might also be claiming to be “out of my head” in order to console the person on the other end of the conversation that he is not in his right state of mind and therefore should be given partial blame for where their relationship is leading and what it could result in.

I know that you’re scared Because I’m so open

[CHORUS]

While this bridge is minuscule in its lyrics, it manages to speak volumes. Once again, this person Styles is conversing with is confronted with fear and Styles’ knowledge of such. This could also tag alongside the things which he is so open about that this person is apprehensive of, because it may just be one of the things holding him back from reaching their same level.

if there is a specific song you would like to get my take/analysis on or want to see me break down feel free to send the artist and song to my inbox! 

#Harry Styles #harrystyles #harry styles album #harry styles song #harry styles fine line #harry styles lyrics #harry styles golden #harry styles song analysis #harry styles lyric analysis #lyric analysis #song analysis #lyrics #fine line #2019 #harry styles 2019

[stolenbythegods]

Why do you feel like nobody likes you? You seem really nice.

Thanks nonnie, that means a lot. 

This is probably going to get very long, and I know nobody asked for it, but I feel like maybe having an explanation as to why I’m insecure might help? Or not, there’s the possibility that nobody will care, but just in case, I’ll explain. 

I’ve been RPing on this site since 2013, and in that time I’ve had a lot of experiences. Most good, but there are a few bad experiences (3 major ones specifically which i will be talking about) that have ultimately contributed to the anxious mess I am today, and why I don’t approach people even though there are a fair few people I really would like to interact with.

The short version, for those that don’t wanna read through heaps of text, is this:

-I was strung along and eventually ignored by somebody I looked up to who couldn’t just tell me they didn’t want to interact.

-I was blocked by somebody I considered a friend for reasons I still do not know. 

-I was accused of copying somebody else’s OC which resulted in me losing a ‘friend’ and ultimately made me quit writing for almost a year. 

If you want more detailed explanations of what happened in each experience, you can find them under the cut. Warning: It’s very long. Feel free to ask for clarification if things seem unclear. There’s also a bolded part at the end which you can read that kind of… ties things together, I guess?

The first experience is the reason for my ‘Don’t ignore me’ rule. Back when i was still fresh to this site and didn’t know how things worked, I came across this amazing marvel OC, and I fell in love with the writing. They were my first ‘tumblr senpai’, as the term used to be. My mind was blown when they actually followed me back, and I was very excited to write with them. So I did the logical thing and sent a message. They responded positively; I was over the moon. We had one or two very brief interactions, and I guess those were enough for that person to decide they didn’t want to interact with me. Now, if they had just come out and said that, things would’ve been fine. Yes, it would have hurt, but I would ultimately have understood and moved on. Instead, they strung me along. 

Any direct requests to interact were responded to with excuses about them not having the time for new threads, which does happen, so I understood, but they ultimately promised me that we would interact when they had the time. But after a while, I noticed the memes I sent in would go ignored, unless they were just headcanon stuff, and despite saying they were busy, they still had time to interact with new people. I still gave them the benefit of the doubt and guessed maybe tumblr was eating asks, or they just didn’t know how to respond or initiate a thread with me. It only clocked with me that they were avoiding attempts at interaction and ignoring me when I responded to a short open starter they posted, and everyone who replied to it got an answer except for me. This was the point I realised they didn’t want to interact with me but just didn’t want to say anything, possibly as some odd way to avoid hurting my feelings. Now you might be wondering if this was me pestering somebody I followed, but I just want to say that me and this person were mutuals right up until I realised what they were doing and made a PSA saying if you didn’t want to interact with me, then you should just tell me instead of being rude and ignoring me. After that, we stopped being followers and I pretty much did everything in my power to make sure I didn’t have to see them on my dash ever again because I was hurt.

Their intentions may have been somewhat innocent in that they didn’t want to hurt my feelings by rejecting me, but ultimately they hurt me far worse than a simple ‘I’m sorry but I don’t feel like interaction is going to work between us’ ever would’ve. In fact I recently discovered this experience still has an effect on me, because that same person crossed my dash just a couple of months ago and It felt like I had been punched in the gut and I had to take a moment to just breathe. So yeah. This experience enforced the part of my anxiety that now tells me that just because we are mutuals does not mean they want to interact (even though selective following is now a thing).

The second experience happened not long after the first. I had followed this blog, and we had a bunch of threads going together. 4, maybe 5, and we were in each other’s inboxes a lot with memes or just general shenanigans. One day we were talking, can’t remember what about (followers? I think? something to do with followers idk) and they suddenly disappeared off my dash. I though tumblr had just freaked out, but after realising they were no longer following me, it dawned that I was blocked. Now, I was still very much an ‘assume the best in people’ kind of person, so I messaged them on a different blog like ‘Hey, i think you may have accidentally blocked me?’. No response. I tried again, and nothing. I was… very confused, and was starting to feel a sense of dread. So i messaged a mutual friend/follower and asked them if they could find out what was going on. She also got nothing out of them, this person was essentially ignoring all mentions of me. Now what I did next might not have been smart, but I was very upset. I messaged them once more on another blog, asking them to please just tell me what I had done wrong. Maybe I should have just moved on and gotten on with shit, but I had thought we were friends and I wanted answers. I never got them. This experience is the reason why I constantly fret over whether or not people actually like me, and why I’m always afraid that one day everyone is just going to turn around and start hating me. 

The third experience was the most recent, and by far the worst. So In 2015 I got a message from a ‘friend’ of mine. I had been on hiatus for a while because I had been feeling insecure and had decided to fall back on some older methods of RP and take a break from the tumblr RP community. I had just gotten back, when they messaged me stating that a person they had started roleplaying with while I was away with had noticed some similarities between her OC and mine. Now, I had no idea who this person was prior to this. So I was very confused, and I said as much. My ‘friend’ went on to say that this person thought I had stolen her OC and that they also agreed, and also that the time I made my blog had been about the same time this person had decided to go on a long hiatus. Now the similarities were this; We both had the same FC, both our characters had abuse in their background, they were both UK born, and they both had interests in cooking careers. I thought this was fairly weak evidence, and said as much. They then countered that there was one more thing I had ‘stolen’ from this person and they sent me an image. And I was shocked. 

You see, when I had still been in college, one of my assignments had been to make a floorplan of a vet surgery. Now because I suck at drawing, I found a pretty nifty site called floorplanner.com. And while working on my assignment, my brain piped up and said ‘hey, we could use this site to make a floorplan of our OC’s apartment!’. And I thought that was a great idea, so I did it. Now, the image my ‘friend’ sent to me was none other than that very floorplan I had made. The person accusing me of plagiarism was claiming it was theirs. I said no, I definitely made the floorplan, and I was responded to with information about the exact date the person had saved the image to their computer. Not only did I send a screenshot of my account on the site and the floorplan itself open in the floorplan creator, I also countered with an image showing that the date I posted the floorplan to my blog preceded the date the person saved the image to their computer, but I was brushed off by being told ‘dates can be edited’ (yeah, cuz I’m totally smart and skilled enough to do that??). 

Anyways, by this point, I was extremely upset. I talked about it on my blog, but I did not mention names or URLs. I was then told my accuser was apparently getting anon hate (though they never posted any) and their friends kept coming into my inbox to tell me to ‘call off my followers’. One even made a public post and tagged me in it. I was beginning to get really stressed out, so I messaged my accuser and asked if we could just talk about this privately. I got no response, but they did make a lovely public post about how I was being emotionally manipulative and that they had 0 doubt I had copied them and about how they were so hurt by this whole thing. 

I asked my ‘friend’ why they didn’t believe me even though i had at the very least proven the floorplan was mine, and their response was that ‘of course they were going to believe the person who talked to them every day over me, who didn’t talk to them very much’. Looking back, I realise this ‘friend’ was not good for me at all. My reasons for not talking to them came down to a few things. First, I did not feel safe talking to them about my depression. The one time i did, i got some rather intensive comments. And you remember the break from tumblr I mentioned earlier in this story? I had spoken to them privately about it and explained my reasons had been I wasn’t feeling the most welcome, and that I needed some time away. They decided to take this as a personal attack, and when I had updated them about what was happening with me on the other site, they kind of flipped out and accused me of shitting on something they loved (tumblr) because I was criticising some of the uglier parts of the RP community (cliques, elitism, anon hate, the stigma towards OC’s over canon characters etc.). After that, I didn’t feel like I could talk to them, so I kind of stopped.

After all this had happened, I tried to move on with things. But the fact is, it really affected me. My ‘friend’ was, and still is I believe, a very popular RP blog with a lot of weight. My accuser had a fair few friends too, and my name had been slandered about. I removed all links to the blog this happened on from my other blogs out of fear, but even then I felt scared. Every blog I wanted to follow would be checked first to see if they had any obvious connections to my ‘friend’ or my accuser. If they did, I would make note of them, their other blogs, and the main people they interacted with all to avoid the chance of somebody knowing me and deciding to bring the shitstorm back up again. Eventually, i was so scared that I just… couldn’t find my love of writing anymore. It was tainted by anxiety, and I finally made an announcement on all my blogs; I was quitting. I didn’t delete my blogs, but I made the message clear that it was no guarantee that I would ever come back. 

I made that post in September 2015. It was only after reconnecting with a very old RP partner back when I was still new, that I finally was convinced to come back to tumblr in May 2016. My writing quality had fallen during my hiatus, because I barely wrote at all for the majority of those months. It still isn’t what it used to be, and the style varies wildly from day to day. 

These experiences, along with some milder ones, have ultimately shaped me into the anxious mess that I am now. My anxiety constantly reminds me that friends can turn on you, and that sometimes people might just be being polite when they compliment me or seem willing to interact. I do try my best to ignore it, but there are times it overwhelms me. It’s nothing personal to the wonderful people who follow me, it’s just my own inner demons that like to torment me. I found my love of writing again, and I would like to be the confident person i once was. I just need.. patience, honesty and some people willing to put up with my awkwardness.

This is horribly long and I’m very sorry, but I hope maybe it cleared some stuff up about why I am how I am. I’m open to more questions, if anybody cares enough to ask lmao. 

#Anonymous #ask #psa #I might reblog this later on too #just so.. idk people can see it if they wanna #long post