#chootvibe

[beatbawksradio]

ੈ✩‧₊˚🍀Cáel • Créidhe🪷⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#beatsposting #chootvibe #sessionvibe #malzeno #primordial malzeno #monster hunter #monster hunter rise

[beatbawksradio]

╔═.·:༺🎶🔥Infernal•Parade💀🎶༻:·.═╗

#beatsposting #chootvibe #typhlosion #hisuian typhlosion

[beatbawksradio]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚Event Horizon✧˖*°࿐

#beatsposting #tootvibe #vibevibe #aethervibe #leiavibe #keanuvibe #qutevibe #robbievibe #tutajvibe #chootvibe #sessionvibe #dustvibe #solveigvibe

[beatbawksradio]

Be careful how you toy with your puppets, Puppetmaster, else one day they may begin to toy with you.

#chootvibe #sessionvibe #solveigvibe #beatsposting

[beatbawksradio]

vent about being irish diaspora

here i go venting in public again but Man.

there is something very strange about being an irish person born in america, and being subject to this weird "unbelonging" from both sides of life. like... my family came here as a direct result of the great potato famine, and most of them lived up north in canada and such, but my parents moved down south just before having kids. so i was brought up into the world essentially believing all white people are the Same and that i was just as responsible for the horrific historical atrocities as the rest of the white southerners were.

but. but I'm not. my family had nothing to do with that. my family was still in Ireland during all that. we only came here less than 200 years ago, as a result of the same people who colonized this country having subject us to a horrifying genocide that wiped out millions of my people, and ended up nearly bringing our language and culture to extinction. we are just as much victims of colonization and oppression as every other victim of the colonistic white people.

and that's really hard to wrap your head around when you're born southern...

but, the fact of the matter is. im not actually "american." im ethnically European. im Irish. and i dont feel like i belong here, on this soil, with this people, speaking this language. its this existential dread i battle with every day that i wake up and look at the world around me. a world that my oppressors built. a world that ive been assimilated into, bc no one ever bothered to correct me or let me know what my heritage actually meant.

and its strange. bc on one end, i have americans who look at me like I'm a freak and a weirdo for wanting to move to Europe, wanting to learn a second language, wanting to embrace my cultural paganism- why go through so much effort when i could just stay here and survive? but they're all so ignorant, they're unaware of how shit this country is and how shit the situation is for someone like me, given my family's history. as ""free"" as people like to sing the praises about this country, there is nothing "free" about our judgmental society that constantly battles to stifle those who don't want to conform.

but, on the other hand, its also difficult and anxiety-inducing to be accepted by Europeans, too. i often feel like im trapped in a destiny that i didn't have a choice in, bc i was born american and disconnected from the motherland. i want to learn another language, i want to speak like a european person, i wish i had a cool accent from a language that isn't my colonizers language... but trying to actually do that in front of others feels so scary. so humiliating. like I'm pretending to be something i could never be. like ill never be good enough to be european bc i wasnt born there.

doesn't help that I've had a european person say that to me, as well. telling me that ill never be able to understand or belong with Europeans bc im simply not one. my circumstances are too different and there's nothing i can do to change that.

but how nonsensical is that, how absolutely insane is that, when im ethnically a european person myself? europe is literally WHERE i belong, its where im supposed to be, and you're telling me that im just supposed to stay here, stuck in this land my colonizers stole, speaking my colonizers' language? you're telling me that my disdain for the english language is somehow "racist"... when I'm fucking irish?? are you out of your goddamn mind?

im so lucky, and so thankful to be rid of those people, and to be with the wonderful, aupportive, loving, and most of all intelligent european partner I've had the honor of being able to fall in love with. they've been helping me undo all these misconceptions about life and helping validate and support my journey into leaving this country. they're helping me learn their language, being so patient and so understanding and listening to every little weird thing i have to say about what I've discovered about my history. its so refreshing to finally have the support I've desperately needed for so long, and to be able to feel empowered that i really can make a difference in my life, i really can pursue and fulfill my dream of returning to where i belong, and leaving behind this oppressive, deceiving world I've found myself in

because i deserve to be where i belong. i deserve to feel like i belong. and i belong in europe

#vent #sessionvibe #vibevibe #chootvibe #tutajvibe

[beatbawksradio]

ik i haven't been using this site much since i got here, but honestly the therapists are kinda right. there is something freeing and relaxing about setting social media aside and like, actually going out and experiencing life in person, exploring your local world, exploring yourself. i feel like twitter especially was locking me into bad mental habits that i couldn't pull myself out of, and forcing myself to cast it aside has done wonders for my comfort and self esteem. when you zoom out and start to see the forest from the trees, you kinda realize all these social pressures from weirdo strangers are just holding you back from letting yourself be alive. you don't have anything to prove to anyone, you're perfectly valid existing exactly as you are

#sessionvibe #tootvibe #chootvibe

[beatbawksradio]

could a deer ever be friends with the bears who hunt it?

do we think the deer is evil, because it has antlers and hooves?

who is sad for the bear, who the deer instinctively runs and hides from?

why does no one cheer for the helpless deer, who now gets to live another day?

#beatsposting #solveigvibe #sessionvibe #chootvibe #tutajvibe

[beatbawksradio]

you don't need to change the world. you exist as an opportunity to experience things for yourself, as an individual. you don't need to be perfect, you don't need to do something important, you don't need to (and also shouldn't try to) change other people in order for your existence to have value and meaning. the only thing you need to do is exist, experience, and survive. sometimes surviving means not being perfectly kind to every human on the planet. its okay, they're surviving, too. and sometimes, survival is a battle. thats part of life. its okay that you can't make the world safer or kinder. you don't need to. that's not why you're here

#beatsposting #sessionvibe #chootvibe #vibevibe

[beatbawksradio]

the empathetic struggle of understanding that someone cannot understand your suffering, unless they have suffered it themselves. the empathetic understanding that only the people who have suffered the most can, thus, be the most empathetic. the empathetic reluctance to accept that in order for empathy to naturally grow within a person, they must first face hardship and suffering in order to gain experience and understanding. the empathetic lesson we all must learn, to politely wish hardship on those without it, not out of some sadistic sense of gratification or catharsis, but out of an empathetic sense that the conflict will naturally teach them to be more mindful and will inspire them to better themselves on their own

#beatsposting #chootvibe #sessionvibe

[beatbawksradio]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚🌧rainy•day ☔️⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#beatsposting #tootvibe #tutajvibe #chootvibe #vibevibe #sessionvibe #duskull #pokemon #pokemon trainer #oc #digital art

[beatbawksradio]

designing up a new mascot toot that incorporates design elements from all 4 universes 🌳🪷☘️⛰️

#beatsposting #tootvibe #vibevibe #tutajvibe #chootvibe