#cheese.chats
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Holy shit I just got ma'amed for the first time this morning when ordering at a drive thru and wowwee that went straight to my head ✨️
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And after disassociating on the toilet again, I’ve burned my spiced maple syrup honey tea cookies 😭
Where to I go to report this act of homophobia
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I don't know what kind of autistic trans witchy diabetic Tumblr magic just happened, but I just woke up with a low blood sugar from a dream with me, @transsoftie, @elliegoose @marshmallowmona, @kolkhozmilf, @bunnygirlbutta, (think thats it??), having some mental connection circuit. If I missed anyone I'm sorry(?) and ignore it if you'd like but yeah I felt drawn to post this after jolting up soooooooooo yeah? Could also just spending too much time on queer feedist tumblr but I don't know lol 🤷
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I think I'm feeling the name Lyra... :3
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Oh I meant to post a few days ago but I survived my grad school crisis, and know I taking Public School Law and having been indexing court opinion onto my really cute planner so life goes on
#cheese.chats#me#i have to retake a course which sucks but thankfully from doing Americorps and picking the degree i did i can just afford it#but yeah cutesy planner keeping my life on track 👍
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After almost a month of working/attempting to work on projects for two grad courses, the grades are submitted and locked today and I missed the deadlines for both. I failed both courses I attempted spectacularly.
I am beyond upset. Quite frankly, between the burnout and disappointment and disgust with myself, I feel like a dehydrated husk of a person. I don't want to quit but don't want to destroy myself in the process again.
I'm tired. I'm sad. I need a fucking hug.
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I hate burnout so much. My brain refused to function even though I have two papers due but I just watched the entirety of the second and third(?) season of the owl house and now my brain is finally quiet enough to function but it's 4:30am where I am. I just wish my brain worked better at times like these
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gonna finish one of my projects for finals and then paint my nails so I can feel present in my skin again 👍
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Also, because I don't tell enough people this, I fucking want boobs of my own and I love that for me
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Cw: trauma mention
So there was a poll I saw going around (yesterday I think) and it was asking how you have/try to have a following on tumblr. I picked the "I have no idea" option which at that point around 30% of folks responded selected the same. I got to thinking though...
And I realized that I don't know what I'm doing in any social or parasocial relationship I've ever participated in. Like it's probably the undiagnosed autism and my childhood trauma, but like I don't know how connect and maintain those connections. In person I can generate small talk I have an autistic friend that just *gets* me and we echo each other and we pace around the room together when we chat and that's probably the most relaxed platonic relationship I've had since initially meeting my wife 10 years ago and since then dating and getting married and the like.
I've just feel like I'm hyper aware and over sensitive of most people I've met/know, especially since cracking my egg and understanding my transness, not really wanting to listen to the whole me on my interests and when I wanna infodump that I like don't know how to properly share and connect like that at this point in my late 20s.
Anyways, you are cool if you read this and I appreciate being able to share a space on here with you and just being authentic and fake and weird and normal and just existing.
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I fell asleep on the couch with my dog last night and when I woke up my body and soul re-assimilated with reality and I just wanna know if I can go back
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working on two grad school paper/assignments that are imminently due... feeling so behind and stuck 😭😭😭
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Really just want to have some nice gourmet and game nights with friends, ya know??
#I realized that the 4-5 people irl that I somewhat regularly talk all have kinda similar interests that I think that it would be fun#the only thing stopping me atm is time but I swear I will make this happen#ps also mutuals are welcome too#cheese.chats
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Pleaseeeeee someone from my multiple grad work assignments due tonight 😭 like all I want today is some snacks a good nap and dissociating into ether
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No sleep, only:
- play game
- snuggle puppy
- be trans
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Really gotta update my blog's welcome mat...
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