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vickyvicarious · 3 years

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Parker: "Teach me to like stuff."

Okay, so. I have some thoughts about The French Connection Job's Parker+Eliot subplot. And I think I wanna approach it separately, scene by scene from each of their perspectives, because we have a couple different things going on here. It's still a little more of a Parker meta than an Eliot meta, but I have enough to talk about on both sides, and they're connected enough not to be in separate metas, that I am going to do it this way.

Also going to put this under a cut because it gets long.

Parker

This whole subplot comes on the heels of the last episode, in which there was a lot of banter throughout about Hardison and Parker's dates, and him wanting to branch out into other things than just bungee jumping or whatever. We have seen hints of this throughout S5 so far, even though we're only a few episodes in at this point. They went on a world tour that was pretty much just jumping off of stuff, Hardison said something about them figuring things out. We saw a cute domestic scene of the aftermath of them watching a movie together, except Parker 'fell asleep again' and missed most of it, and Hardison eventually went off to work on his laptop. Parker tried to comfort him last episode about dust mites and ended up freaking him out instead. She talked about how she liked fire and Hardison complained she was missing the point of his offer for a candlelit picnic. They did end on a very romantic note with her still making the effort to make it happen but getting rained out, and him recognizing her effort and listening to him, and projecting the stars around the dark room then having the picnic inside. They are clearly very happy together and both making the effort to meet in the middle, but there are still some disconnects. Which makes sense this early on anyway, but it's not out of place for Parker to start getting worried about her limited interests here given the context of them contrasting Hardison's more widespread interests.

Starting right off the bat - there's a picture limit so I can't show these early moments, but throughout the first part of the episode we see Parker looking visibly upset/pensive. Hardison notices and asks her what's wrong, but is immediately distracted by his package arriving, and then the team gets into the briefing and he doesn't get to talk to her again. (Sidenote that this is pretty OOC for Hardison, and I have to assume he would at the very least come back to her later, but they were clearly trying to get Parker talking with someone else this episode and apparently couldn't come up with a better way to do it. His writing outside of the kitchen stuff was kinda off this whole episode anyway, what with the whole tip thing.) She was about to open up to him, however, which is important. There's also a scene shortly afterwards where she confides in Nate, again after he notices her being upset and asks what's bothering her. She claims everyone but her has 'a thing', and names a few of them. He asks her what she thinks when she sees Michelangelo's David, and when her answer is an immediate assessment of how it's guarded and what she'd have to do to steal it, he kind of hesitates and then goes right back to running the con. He basically gives up on helping her with this once it becomes clear that a quick sentence or two isn't gonna cut it.

So after those brief, unhelpful conversations, that's when she makes a move. She was responding to others before, but this time she comes up to Eliot, clearly nervous. And she asks him to help her feel something.

(I find it very interesting that she doesn't ask Sophie. Sophie is the person who she would usually go to for something like this, after all. But, aside from this being an Eliot-centric episode and just like them sidelining Hardison's possible assistance earlier the writers want Parker to talk with Eliot not Sophie, I think there are maybe a couple reasons why she might go to him here. First, just distance. Eliot is right downstairs, meanwhile at the moment Sophie is however far across town at her theater. Certainly not saying she wouldn't go to Sophie eventually, but maybe that's why not first. Second, she and Eliot have an understanding, one that's been explicitly acknowledged since the start of S4. They are similar in a way entirely unlike the rest of the crew. So while Sophie may understand emotions best, Eliot is the one most likely to know what Parker is talking about when she says she just isn't feeling anything. Which by the way I'm gonna get more into later on. Thirdly they're in love but that's not actually relevant here since all of the team love one another.)

Eliot

On Eliot's side, she approaches him when he's busy in the kitchen. This whole job is stirring up a lot of old feelings in him right from the start. Toby was someone who 'kept him from falling all the way down', and Eliot is deeply concerned for him. At the same time, the way they are running this con is allowing Eliot to take on the role of teacher. Even though his students aren't anything like the eager students Toby has just had taken away from him, Eliot wants so badly to take advantage of this opportunity to teach them - maybe even all the more because they're resistant. He's being given a very rare opportunity to indulge his belief that food is life and to share it on a larger scale. To use the knife to create, not just destroy. Leverage often walks a line between doing both (taking down the bad guys and helping people) but Eliot doesn't often just straight up get to just do the 'creating' part. (I mean, he loves the destruction too, he genuinely loves beating people up and taking down bad guys, but this is a rarer pleasure.) So he's pretty preoccupied with that at first, and initially dismisses Parker just like the other two guys did.

But when she just looks quietly disappointed at his response, he goes still and watches her. We cut away from them here so we don't see his actual response, but it's immediately clear that he's realizing this is actually something deeply important to Parker, and well worth his time.

On to the next part of this scene below.

[Eliot sets a dish down in front of Parker]

Parker: "...It's just food."

Eliot: "It's not just food! Alright, some people could look at it and just see food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen I'm, I'm creating something outta nothing, you know what I mean? And sometimes I crush it, sometimes it's crap, but either way - it makes me feel something."

Parker: "Feel what?"

Eliot: "Just... feel."

Parker: [murmuring] "Feel... okay." [looks down at the food and hesitates]

Eliot: "You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time. Then Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food - this is my art. This is my art, Parker." [Parker nods, looking worried] "It's like lettin' a stranger in your head, just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling." [pause] "Look again." [he pushes the plate a little closer to her. Parker takes a deep breath and slowly sets her elbows down on the counter as she stares down at the plate. Eliot watches her closely.]

Parker

At this point I want to talk a little about what Parker means when she says "feel something" and talks about "having a thing." Because we've seen her have interests outside of straightforward thievery before. Sure, most of her hobbies revolves around stealing - casing local banks for fun, for example. But she clearly has a deep love for Christmas and for chocolate. So why doesn't she count those kinds of things as 'feeling something'?

I think it comes down to what Eliot's talking about here. It's a sense of art. Not even necessarily making it yourself, although that certainly applies. Parker likes sweet things like chocolate and donuts, but although she really really likes them they don't make her feel any truly deep emotion. It's more tactile than anything else, just a pleasant flavor. Her love of Christmas isn't the same either in her eyes because it's not uniquely hers. It's something she loves to celebrate but she can't do so all year round, and plenty of other people like Christmas too. This one comes a lot closer, because it definitely seems to be tied up more in community and family for her than something like enjoying chocolate and piñatas, but it still doesn't belong to her in the same way that cooking does to Eliot or theater does to Sophie. And while theoretically her love of base jumping and so on could maybe count, it is still so tied up in her thieving that it doesn't feel separate. She's really good at drawing but only thinks of it as a useful skill, not a creative outlet - this is similar to that.

She has been branching out into a lot of new experiences and emotions lately, and while she's struck out deep into uncharted waters with her relationship with Hardison, once there she's only seeing more and more things that she just... doesn't get. She loves spending time with him, and enjoys what they do together, but she doesn't understand all of those things. Not on a deeper level. She wants to feel that sense of connection to something, wants to feel deeply emotionally moved by something.

And honestly? I think she's way up in her head about it. I'm not trying to dismiss her struggle here at all, but I do think she is stressing herself out about having something uniquely her own. About having a huge interest that speaks so strongly to her personally. And those are amazing to have, but it's really not necessary. She doesn't need a strong secondary passion so much as she needs to let go of trying so hard to force herself into something.

And what's happening in this scene in particular is that Parker is trying so so hard to force herself to feel something. It's evident in her face throughout the whole scene, in her body language. And she is so terrified that it's not going to work that honestly, I'm not surprised at all that it doesn't.

Eliot

On Eliot's side of this scene, he feels like he recognizes where Parker is. This entire job has him remembering how it was to feel nothing. Her phrasing got to him deeply. He wants to reach out and teach her to see something more, just like Toby taught him.

He knew a bit about how to cook before Toby. But it was only seeing Toby's passion that struck something in him, that awoke a part of himself he might've never known before. For Eliot specifically, cooking being an art isn't just something he likes. It's something that brings him hope.

Eliot doesn't believe in redemption. But he believes in actions. And what Toby did, by teaching him to cook, was to teach him that his actions can be good. That he can create, not just destroy. That all is not lost - not 'for' him necessarily, so much as 'in' him. There is a deep empty place inside himself that he can enter so so easily. The difficulty is crawling back out again. Cooking was his rope out of there. He still finds it difficult to express his emotions very often, particularly verbally, but when he makes someone a meal he puts a part of himself into it. And yet doing so doesn't take anything from him, it just adds more.

This is all very vague and figurative and may make no sense, but the takeaway I want to have is that Eliot is opening up to Parker on a very deep level here. He feels like he recognizes what she's talking about, and it was a very bad place for him. (Again, I don't think she is quite that badly off at this point in canon, but I digress.) And while making food allows him to feel that he is demonstrating his love for someone, that he is sharing a part of himself with them, he recognizes that she isn't receiving that. What she's getting, is just a plate of food. Tasty food maybe, but nothing more than that. And so Eliot verbalizes everything to her in a way he rarely does.

And then he keeps trying. This scene obviously doesn't end up making her feel something, and we don't get to see the immediate aftermath of that, but we can glean a little about how they feel based on their reactions. And Eliot is deeply determined to help Parker feel something from his food. He insists that she play the food critic; even speaks directly to her and reminds her to consider what they talked about.

In the restaurant, we start out with Parker dutifully playing her role but feeling nothing much beyond just the role. Eliot checks in with Parker, she acknowledges that the food is good but doesn't make her feel anything, and he makes improvements based on her feedback. Then something abruptly changes.

Parker: "I can taste garlic, and mushrooms... and something else that makes me feel different."

Hardison: "Wait, was that for me, cause I-I don't get it."

Parker: "No, it's the food. I get it." [smiles] "I feel something."

Parker: "Mmm! These black noodles are amazing!

Eliot: "Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi."

Parker: "Mmm." [eats a huge forkful] "Mmm. Mmmm. These are really good."

Parker

What just happened here? Last we saw from Parker, she'd failed to feel something from the meal Eliot made especially for her in the brewpub, and she was clearly disheartened. She felt it as a failure, very much in the sense of a disappointment. She didn't want to try again, didn't think it would work, and tried to protest when Eliot said she would be the food critic. Even once she got to the restaurant, nothing was happening for her.

The difference wasn't in the flavor of the food. The moment Parker started to feel something was right after she said she felt nothing and Eliot, instead of being disappointed or giving up, took it as a challenge. He changed his recipe, he improved it specifically to better reach out to her. He kept trying.

And yeah, maybe the bone broth helped it taste better. But that wasn't the point, not really. The point is that Parker had gotten herself stuck in a hole, trapped herself in this cycle of not understanding how things make you feel and then believing that she just couldn't. She wanted something of her own and she didn't have it and she didn't immediately get anyone else's thing either, and that was it. She just wasn't capable. She was other. This is an old old fear of Parkers, dating back to Archie or even before. Something in her just isn't capable of being like other people. She wasn't worthy of being in Archie's real family, and she's not able to feel passion for anything outside of stealing. (Setting aside the fact that she loves her team, that all she needed was the right family. That you don't have to be a creator to feel passion, and you don't need to be passionate about any particular thing in order to feel deeply and find beauty in the world.) Parker has empathized deeply with people, has felt so intensely before and is constantly trying to learn more and new ways to be. But because she is noticing her teams' passions now, she has this ideal that she wants to reach, and none of that is good enough for her. She doesn't even know exactly what her ideal involves, but she can't get to it.

But when Eliot doesn't give up, that gets to her. If he views his food as sharing himself with others, Parker finally gets what he's been trying to give all along. It's all about him trying again and again, changing his approach to match her better. That's what she feels, that's what she enjoys.

And once she starts, the floodgates open. She loves the black noodles. She is so happy, she is relieved. There was this huge resistance that she couldn't get past before, but Eliot persisting helped her to break past that and now that she is out of her head about it she can enjoy the food in a way she never has before. Because she feels his love for her in it.

Eliot

Eliot is trying so hard to connect to Parker. It's not really different from what I said in the last Eliot section, and basically the same as what I just said in that Parker section, but I want to emphasize a little more just how much this is about love on his end.

Eliot loves Parker. He loves her, and he wants so much to help her. It doesn't honestly matter that he does this with food, except for the fact that food is what matters so deeply to Eliot himself. He can't reach out to her in the same way through any other medium. And we don't get to see his reaction to Parker's moment of realization. But I think it would be such a deep sense of joy. This is as fulfilling for Eliot as it is for Parker. It's exactly what Eliot has been hoping for this whole episode, to teach someone else to see food in the same way he does. It doesn't matter if it only lasts for a moment or a single meal. That's enough. He has been the support Parker needed through this time of self-doubt. And it is all the more meaningful to him because this isn't just a random student, this is Parker.

He told her he loves her through his food, again and again, and she eventually felt it. She understood. That must mean so much to him.

I wanna end with one more brief note on Parker. Does she get her own "thing" this episode? No. No she does not, and this scene shows us that. Parker is not suddenly interested in food or cooking. The importance of that meal was purely derived from Eliot on the other end of it, focused on her and trying his best to reach out to her.

And I don't think this is something only Eliot could have done for her either, not really. The difference between him and the others this episode is mostly in persistence. However, it's also about her mentality. Hardison has built/done things for Parker before and she felt them just as deeply - but the context was different. She wasn't looking for a sense of beauty or art in the world at large then, and so even though she felt the love in the gift just as much, it didn't make her feel like she could find that kind of emotion in other things. She just wasn't looking for it. Also, it was made easier for Eliot to reach out because there's that connection Parker has with him, that understanding that they are on the same level somehow. She doesn't feel that with Hardison - and she loves him all the more for him being different from her, but he also I think can intimidate her with how good and open he is, with how much he can feel in so many different directions. It's part of why she got so worried about herself not being able to do so this episode.

Like, the team has scolded Nate for not having a life or interests of his own outside the job not too terribly long ago! And Parker has had her own joys before! But she isn't seeing that this episode, too caught up in this fear about not having her own 'thing', not feeling anything that way. So while anyone could have helped her through this, it was easiest for her to let Eliot do so + for him to understand what she needed from him. (Hardison in particular was rudely robbed the opportunity, but they all love and support her and could have reached her. Not to detract from Eliot doing so, but also I don't wanna sound like no other method of reaching out would've worked.)

But as soon as she feels something once with Eliot's help, that relaxes those fears. And then Parker is free to look in other places. She remembers Nate's comment about art, and maybe even tells him what she plans based on him knowing where she is at the end of the episode. And then she goes to visit this statue. In her own way which means breaking in, but without any goal of taking it. She just goes to look at the art. And she feels something again.

Parker doesn't gain some big passion at the end of this episode. She doesn't need to. She never did. She just learns how to let herself relax from that restrictive frame of mind. To simply be in the moment and enjoy things for the sake of what they are. To feel - not really in any way she was incapable of before, but intentionally now. It's a quiet victory, in the end. It doesn't mean she's going to get a new hobby or change her lifestyle at all really. But she's let go of a fear and is now intentionally seeking out new connections with the world beyond her once-limited parameters.

#leverage #leverage meta #parker #eliot spencer #my meta #ugggggh why did this get so long?! i just wanted to jot down a few thoughts!#hopefully it's coherent #i'm like half-asleep at this point which probably accounts for the length since i ramble on when i'm tired. and also hopefully for anything #that doesn't make sense

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topsytervy · 3 years

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Goodbye ~ Rafe Cameron

Blurb: You and Rafe were dating until you realized he changed way too much...and not for the better.

Word Count: maybe 4,300 (i did some last minute editing)

Warnings: mentions of drugs (coke and weed), hints at sex, swearing, toxic behavior, age gap (16 and 19), canon Rafe (minus the murder), grammar/spelling mistakes,i think thats it.

One thing before you read:

This takes place with the reader being 16 and Rafe 19 so Im just going to say this. THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND ACCORDING TO GOOGLE THE AGE OF CONSENT IN NORTH CAROLINA IS 16. STILL, I DO NOT CONDONE RELATIONSHIPS WHERE A PARTNER(S) IS AN ADULT AND THE OTHER(S) IS A MINOR. THIS IS JUST FICTION!

Not me already thinking of a part 2 where they reunite years later at John B and Sarahs wedding

~~~~~~~~~

You dated Rafe Cameron for a bit, starting your relationship months before his downward spiral. Key words there being dated and a bit. Almost a year. 11 months 17 days and 5 hours to be exact but who was counting.

Rafe Cameron was.

Out of the 11 months 17 days and 5 hours that your relationship lasted, you two spent 11 months 2 days and 30 minutes with each other and they were the best 11 months 2 days and 30 minutes of his life.

You broke it off though after he had promised that he would try to quit his drug habit, his coke habit to be more precise, and didn't. Whenever you tried to help him, he'd push you away and say, 'I can take care of my own shit, Y/N. I don't need you to help'.

The last straw was when he drove up to Barrys, you in the passenger seat next to him, unamused since he said he'd be taking you to the beach but didn't, opting out to fulfill the hunger of coke instead.

"Rafe, please. You're doing so well. We can still go back home. Lay down, watch a movie, have some fun…" You trailed off, thinking that the last option would definitely have him turning back.

"After this, Y/N/N. Then we can have all the fun we want." He smirked.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. "It's no fun when you're high." You mumbled under your breath.

He parked the car and told you to stay put, which you chose to ignore as you promptly swung the door passenger open and hopped out of the vehicle. After all, you were all dressed and ready for the beach, eagerly waiting to feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin -and to see your boyfriend shirtless- and instead, you were at Barrys. Not to pay off a debt and say Rafe was out, but too get more cocaine. You were upset and you were going to make sure he saw you each second he was with you so he'd feel bad about breaking his promise. Rafe rolled his eyes as you followed him inside, not really wanting Barry to see you.

Rafe and Barry greeted each other and you followed them towards Barry's room where the exchange was made. Rafe watched Barry count the money, his index finger tapping on the side of his leg as he waited. You stood in the corner of the room, unamused by your boyfriend as you watched him begin to chew on his lip as Barry furrowed his eyebrows and recounted.

"What are you trying to do, country club?" Barry finally asked.

"What do you mean?" A confused look crossed Rafe's face.

"You're 20 bucks short, man. You think you can just stiff me?"

Rafe looked at you and you held up your hands. "Why are you looking at me? I don't wanna be here in the first place and where the fuck would I hide 20 bucks? My bikini top." You glared. Rafe shot you another look. "I'm serious, Rafe. You wanna frisk me, be my fucking guest."

Rafe looked at your face and saw you were telling the truth before turning back to Barry, who was eyeing you up as you talked at Rafe but moved his gaze back to the man in front of him when he thought of an idea.

"You know, country club. I could let it slide and still give you what you want. You'd just have to keep it hush-hush." He smirked.

"What do you want in exchange then? My truck? Bike? Uh…my watch?" Rafe began to take off the watch his father gave him but Barry held up his head, causing Rafe to look up at him.

"A couple of hours with her." Rafe followed Barry's pointer finger and saw you raise your eyebrows.

"Excuse me? Do I look like I wanna have sex with you?" You asked.

Barry's smirk only grew. "I like you. You're a feisty little thing I can tell."

Don't I know it, Rafe thought to himself as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

You had to stop yourself from letting your jaw drop. He was actually thinking about it.

Rafe Cameron, your boyfriend, the guy who decked a kid in the jaw who had accidentally brushed his hand against yours when at a kegger once, was actually considering this guy's proposal.

If Rafe said yes, you were a goner. There was no way you could overpower Barry. You could barely overpower your 12 year old brother when fighting for the remote and he was weak as hell.

"No. Its fine. Just give me the cash back and I'll come back when I have the 20." Barry gave him back the cash and Rafe nodded his head towards the door. "Lets go, baby."

You walked in front of Rafe and made your way outside, stopping right next to the passenger door, not opening it.

Rafe came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Lets get home, baby. Put on a movie and lay down, have some fun just like you suggested." He grinned, kissing your neck as he repeated what you had said not even ten minutes ago.

You shrugged him off and rolled your eyes.

"What's up with that?" He asked, slightly offended at the actions.

"You actually thought about leaving me alone for a couple of hours with that guy, Rafe. That's what's up with that." You turned around to face him.

"I didn't though."

"You still thought about it Rafe. You thought about letting that man, that slimey, greasy, man, have his way with me just so you could get some coke."

"Hey, you're not in there with him, though. You're out here with me. Aren't you, Y/N/N?" You didn't respond. "Aren't you?!" Rafe hollered, causing you to jump slightly.

"Let me ask you this, Rafe. If someone came up to me right now and asked if I'd break up with you to date my celebrity crush, and I stopped to think about it instead of saying no right away, how would you feel?" Rafe clenched his jaw and didn't respond. "How do you think I feel right now after knowing that my jealous, possessive boyfriend who hates when a guy even looks at me, stopped and thought about a proposition his drug dealer brought up that meant he could still get his cocaine if he let his dealer fuck me and he'd let the 20 dollars slide."

"You don't know if he was going to fuck you."

You let out a laugh in disbelief. "Don't play dumb, Rafe. You know exactly what he was going to do."

Rafe didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and started counting to ten to try and calm down so he could reason with you. He opened his eyes and went to speak but you were gone. "God, fuckin a." He cussed, grabbing his keys from his pocket and jogging to the driver side.

He climbed in and started the vehicle before tearing out of the driveway. It's not like you had gotten far, jogging was faster than walking but not by much and Rafe saw you after just a mere 30 seconds of driving. You had slowed to a walk and when you saw his truck pull alongside you, you rolled your eyes and returned your gaze to the road in front of you.

"Baby. Let's talk about this like adults." He sighed.

When you didn't answer, he sped up just a smidge so the bed was next to you, and pulled to the side of the road, getting out of the truck.

He stood in front of you. "You shouldn't be walking home. It's too far." You ignored him, going to walk around him but he just moved to be in front of you again.

"Rafe, I'm warning you. Back the fuck off right now."

"Just get in the truck and then we'll talk about whatever is going on up in that head of yours." He said gently.

"I already told you what was going on. You seriously thought about selling me out for sex just so you could get high."

"Y/N/N, get in the truck."

"It was disgusting that you hesitated before saying no. What happened to me being your girl and no one else touching me or else you'd cave their skull in back there?"

"Get in the truck." He ran his hand through his hair, feeling himself getting angrier and trying to remain calm.

He didn't like yelling at you or getting angry at you, knowing how it scared you when he wasn't even yelling at you but someone else.

"You know, why can't you just get high with weed like JJ."

And that was it.

Rafe reached out and grabbed your chin, yanking you close. "Get in the fucking truck, Y/N." He seethed, his voice dangerously low. You tried to keep your face as neutral as possible despite how you felt on the inside. "Now!" Rafe yelled.

You flinched slightly before yanking your face from his grip and climbing into the passenger seat. You looked out the window as Rafe walked over to his side and climbed back in.

You were a bit shaken up if you were being honest. Rafe had never yelled at you before today or called you by your actual name. It was usually your nickname or baby. He had also never grabbed you like that outside of the bedroom.

"I try to have a civil fucking conversation with you and you walk away. How fucking mature is that?" Rafe glanced over at you and you could feel his eyes on you but you just kept looking out the window. "And the fact that you think that just because I hesitated, I was going to give you over to Barry is fucking ridiculous. My brain was processing what he said, not thinking of letting him fuck you." Rafe was actually thinking of Barry's offer but you didn't need to know that for sure. "You're mine, Y/N. You hear that? M-I-N-E. Mine. I don't share my things with anyone and you know this."

You swallowed hard at his words, taking in the toxicity of your situation right now. He wasn't the same Rafe that you started dating all those months ago. He was far from the Rafe who you let take your virginity when you hit month six of your relationship. He was far from the Rafe that the minute you said you were uncomfortable, was taking you away from whatever was making you uncomfortable or stopping what you were doing.

He was far from the Rafe you had fallen for.

"Drop me off at the chateau." You mumbled causing Rafe to stop his speech.

"What?"

"Drop me off at the chateau." You said louder and slower.

"What if I don't want to?" He huffed.

"Drop me off at the chateau or I'm calling JJ and he's gonna meet me at Tanneyhill and I'll let him tear you apart."

Rafe's eyes left the road and he looked at you, still staring out the window. Rafe didn't say anything, just drove you where you told him to.

The pogues sat on the porch and watched as Rafe's truck pulled up.

Pope looked around at the group. "Weren't they supposed to be at the beach?"

Kie shrugged as she watched your door swing open before the truck parked. "That's different. She's never done that before." She raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" John B asked.

"She just hopped out of Rafe's truck before it stopped. She usually stays in there for a minute after he parks." Kie nodded towards you as you walked towards them, rolling her eyes as if the boys should've known that.

Rafe sighed as he parked the truck and hopped out, jogging up to you and grabbing your arm.

"Please just come back to Tanneyhill with me, Y/N, and we'll talk."

You shook your head, retching your arm away from him. "We're done. Don't call me, don't text me, don't contact me at all. I can't do this anymore Rafe. I've tried helping you and being there for you and everything else during this...this...obstacle in your life and it's like you're not even trying anymore." You told him with tears in your eyes.

"What? No. No. No. I'm gonna get my shit together." He ran his hand through his hair.

Your friends stood up and slowly made their way over, not to eavesdrop, but just in case things took a turn.

"You keep saying that Rafe and I keep believing you but I can't. Not anymore. Not after today." You lamented, "Bye, Rafe. I wish you the best." You quickly turned and jogged into the chateau, feeling the tears start to fall.

"Y/N," he called, about to go after you but John B and JJ stopped him as the other two followed you inside. "Y/N!" He attempted to shrug off your two friends but when it was clear that they would not be letting him follow you without a fight, he pulled away, walking backwards to his truck. "I'll come back! You know I will! You're my girl!" He shouted as loud as he could.

John B and JJ stepped forward and Rafe pursed his lips before climbing into his truck. John B and JJ watched Rafe drive away before heading inside. John B sighed as he heard you cry in the bathroom, plopping down on the couch next to Pope as JJ found his home on the floor.

"Do we know what happened that finally made her break?" JJ asked, wanting nothing more to break the Cameron boys nose.

Pope shrugged before nodding towards the bathroom. "Kie's in there right now trying to calm her down and get her to talk about it." John B rubbed a hand over his face. "She's his girl? Really?" Pope raised an eyebrow, letting the two boys know that Rafes little shout was heard.

John B shook his head. "Not anymore. I think it'll take a miracle for her to go back to him."

"And he'd really come back here just to try and get her back?"

JJ looked at Pope with a serious expression. "He can fucking try but if he even looks at her, I'll break him. I'll take her to work with me if it means not leaving her alone for Rafe to show up and try to weasel back in."

Pope licked his lips. "She seemed so happy with him in the beginning. I was honestly kind of rooting for them."

John B looked at Pope. "I think we all were."

"And she was happy with him. Then he decided that coke should join the relationship and that's when it all went downhill." JJ added.

After an hour had passed and no more crying was heard, the three pogue boys got up and made their way to the bathroom.

JJ knocked on the door and Kie immediately answered. "Come in."

He opened the door slowly to avoid hitting anyone before the three boys made their way into the bathroom. It was a bit cramped but no one complained as they looked down at you with your head on Kie's lap, eyes closed as you slept.

"What happened ?" Pope whispered.

"He went to Barry's and was short twenty dollars. Barry said Rafe could still get the coke and not have to worry about the twenty if he could have a couple hours with her." Kie started.

"Sounds about par for the course for Barry," JJ mumbled, knowing all about the dealer.

"Rafe thought about it before saying no. After a small argument and explanation as to why she saw his hesitation as a problem, she started walking. He followed, told her multiple to get in the truck but she didn't, and then he grabbed her roughly and told her one more time and she did because she was scared." The curly haired girl sighed.

The boys all shot each other a look but Kie quickly shut it down. "No. You are not fighting him. That will just cause more problems. We're going to ignore his existence and be here for Y/N. Understand?" No one spoke. "I said, Understand?" Kie said more sternly.

The boys all mumbled the agreements and JJ crossed his fingers out of sight. If Kie thought he was going to just let it all slide right by, she was wrong. No one hurt his friends and got away with it. She should know this by now.

"Now, can one of you be useful and put her to bed? Or am I just going to have to do it myself?" Kie raised an eyebrow.

"I got her." JJ muttered, walking over to Kie and picking you up gently.

He took you into what he claimed as his room and placed you on the bed, throwing a blanket over. He turned to leave but stopped, biting his lip for a second before turning back around and giving you a kiss on your forehead.

Now, here Rafe was, six months later, at The Wreck with Kelce and Topper, watching JJ and you wait for your food at the counter.

Rafe made a face and at the sight of you two close together and thats when he noticed JJ's arms around you, swaying you two back and forth.

Rafe's jaw clenched as did his hand that was around his glass of water. "What the hell is he doing with his arms around her?" His eyes narrowed.

Kelce and Topper looked at each other before holding up their fists.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot."

Topper groaned as Kelce whooped with victory. "Tell him, Top."

"JJ and Y/N have been together for like a month and a half now." Topper muttered.

Rafe stared at his two friends. "And you guys didn't tell me?"

"Well, we didn't think it was important and you seemed to be doing alright finally so we just kind of- Where are you going?!" Kelce asked when he saw Rafe get up from the table and walk out the door.

The two friends looked to where you and JJ were standing only to find you two not there.

They immediately got up, Topper pulling a 50 from his wallet and putting it on the table while screaming a 'keep the change Kiara' as they both ran out.

They watched as Rafe's truck pulled past them and out of The Wrecks parking lot.

"Hey man! You're our ride!" Kelce hollered.

Rafe's hand gripped the steering wheel as he drove, jaw still clenched. He stopped at a stop sign and slammed his hand on the wheel in anger. It was months after your guys break up and Rafe hadn't even looked at another girl the same way he looked at you, let alone thought about getting into a new relationship. But here you were, dating JJ Maybank for a month and a half apparently.

You always had been known as Rafe's girl, even after the break-up. He made it practically impossible for any guy to even think about talking to you because Rafe had the full intention of getting you back.

But, of course, in classic JJ style, JJ had to steal what was his. Now you were referred to as JJ's girl but Rafe was too high or out of it to notice the change.

He pulled into the driveway of the chateau minutes after you and JJ did, you laughing at something JJ had said as you got out of his truck.

You heard a car door slam and looked behind you, calling for JJ when you saw an all too familiar vehicle.

JJ came around to stand next to you and his eyes narrowed as Rafe stormed over.

"Im gonna beat you so bad you'll think your daddy did it, Maybank!"

"Rafe! What the hell are you doing here?" You shouted at your ex.

"I wanna know why the hell I just heard that you're going out with him?!" Rafe stopped right in front of you.

You could feel the rage coming off of Rafe and you opened your mouth to speak but JJ stepped in between you two.

"I suggest you back the fuck up and move on, Cameron."

"What's funny is I'm not here for you, JJ. So I suggest you get the fuck out of the way so I can talk to Y/N/N."

JJ narrowed his eyes. "Over my dead body."

Rafe chuckled darkly as he nodded his head slightly. "That can be arranged."

"Rafe, JJ. Stop. This is fucking ridiculous." You pulled JJ back by his upper arm before turning your gaze onto Rafe. "We broke up Rafe. It's time for you to move on."

"No. You don't get to tell me when I should move on, Y/N. You don't get to tell me any of that typical bullshit okay? I already told you all those months ago that you're mine and that hasn't changed." He shot at you.

JJ smirked. "I think it has because now the whole island knows her as JJ's girl. Not Rafe's. JJ's."

Rafe took a step closer. "You watch your mouth, Maybank."

"Or what? You gonna swing on me? I hope you do so I have a reason for beating you shitless."

You turned to JJ. "Since you're not helping with this conversation, why don't you help by bringing the food inside." You held out the bag that contained your guys lunch and JJ sighed, taking it.

Not without one last jab at Rafe though by kissing you on the lips right in front of him. You were quick to stop a ready-to-pounce Rafe who went to lunge at JJ, but your boyfriend just smirked at your ex before heading inside.

"I'm gonna kill him." Rafe said, fists clenching.

"No you're not. Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm happy?"

"Because you're happiest when you're with me. Remember saying that to me that one night? When we were walking around at like 2 AM and you just said it out of the blue and then blushed cause it was only a month into our relationship and you didn't mean to say it out loud. You immediately apologized cause it was stupid and corny but I told you it wasn't if it was true and that I felt the same way with you. Remember that, Y/N." His demeanor changed from hostile to soft.

You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. "That was before you were snorting lines for breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was before everything changed. Before you changed, Rafe." Rafe looked down at the ground in shame, fiddling with his fingers. "I wish that I tried harder to help you and keep you from where you are now. I wish I hadn't pushed your buttons that day when you told me to get in the truck and that I acted more mature than I did. I also wish I hadn't said the weed comment cause I know how much you can't stand JJ and were insecure because of my friendship with him and I guess you kind of had a right to be considering whats going on between me and him right now. In a way, I kind of egged you on with not letting you talk but that day you grabbed me and yelled at me, that was it. I couldn't stay any longer. That was the first time I ever felt scared of you."

Rafe felt regret and sadness wash over him. "There is absolutely no excuse for the way I grabbed you that day or how I spoke to you. That was wrong of me and I shouldn't have done that no matter how angry I was. I'm so fucking sorry for that. It's one of my biggest regrets." Rafe admitted looking at you. "If I could redo that day, I wouldn't have done any of that. I wouldn't have even gone to Barry's. We would've just gone to the beach like you wanted and then went back to my place for a shower and then watched 50 First Dates because you always watch that movie after a beach day. If I could go back before then, I wouldn't have had that line that started it all and we would've just stayed home from that damn party. "

You smiled softly. "I appreciate you owning up to your actions, Rafe but that doesn't change anything that's happening right now. I'm not going to break up with JJ just to get back together with you while you're still using. Maybe at some point in the future we'll find our way back to each other but right now, you need to focus on yourself and getting yourself help so you can get better."

Rafe nodded slowly and it was quiet for a minute before he mumbled. "Does he treat you alright?"

"Hmm?"

"Does JJ treat you alright?" He asked a bit louder.

You smiled. "Yeah, he does."

Rafe nodded. "That's-" Rafe felt his voice crack and he cleared his throat. "That's really good, Y/N/N."

You placed your hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze, kind of like how a grandma would. "Take care of yourself, Rafe." Rafe nodded again. "Goodbye, Rafe." You sent him a small sad smile before walking off to the chateau.

Rafe couldn't bring himself to say that though. Instead, he said the one thing he never got to.

"I love you."

~~~~~~~~

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader

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feathers-scales-and-tails · 5 years

Text

Lately I've seen a lot of posts talking about the environmental impact pet cats can have. And while this is absolutely excellent that awareness is finally being brought, I have yet to see a single discussion about pet dogs. Many don't know but they can be just as destructive as cats if allowed to wander unchecked! I'd really appreciate if you could take the time to read this or share it please! So cheers, I'll try not to drag this out too long.

Dogs just like cats, massacre animals simply because of instincts, they're bored, or because it's just fun to kill. Despite it being illegal in Queensland, Australia where I live to allow a dog to leave its property unsupervised, it is common place to see it happen anyway. Local councils are slack with pet cats and dogs so even if their wandering is reported often no punishments are enforced upon owners. Majority know how harmful a single cat can be; my backyard population of Eastern Water Dragons (5 adults, estimated 13 babies) was slaughtered by my neighbours cat. That damage has never reversed and to this day, roughly 8 years after, I have never seen another Water Dragon in my yard. Yet mention a dog and people will bite your head off with "dogs are angels" and "my dog would never kill"

We don't often hear about dogs killing wildlife although it does happen, considering they don't drag the kills back home likes cats do. Often dead possums and kangaroos will be abandoned wherever the dog killed them, unbeknownst to the owners. However what we do hear about commonly, is livestock.

Ask any farmer in Australia and they will tell you that they've had stock massacred by dogs, occasionally feral but usually pets. Feral dogs don't like light and are usually smart enough not to jump into a paddock where they'll be trapped and prone to discovery by humans. Pet dogs don't have this fear, and are often found covered in blood and gore surrounded by bodies.

Here are some of the stories I was told just from last year. Warning I have included very graphic descriptions so if you don't want to read feel free to skip. I'll summarise at the very end of this post how many stock died for you without the details.

12+ sheep (he stopped counting it was too distressing for him but estimate is around the 20 mark) attacked by dogs. 5 were still alive when he found them, 2 passed away as he went to get his knife. He had to finish 3 off. He doesn't know what time they were attacked but considering most of the blood was dry it was likely many, many hours ago. The dog wasn't caught but it was likely a pet one considering none of the carcasses were consumed at all and the owner lives close to both a university and a town where there are many pet dogs.

23 sheep including lambs and pregnant ewes massacred by two pet dogs. 11 were still alive when found and most needed to be finished off. These dogs had obviously taken great joy in chasing the sheep since all injuries sustained were to the rear with absolutely no scratch on the front end of the sheep. It's likely they chased them, grabbed them and pulled them down, them let them back up and repeated until the sheep collapsed from blood loss and exhaustion. Several of the sheep were missing the tendons in their legs and these tendons were found flung across the paddocks. The two dogs responsible were found on the property, they were playing with a deceased lamb. Throwing it in the air and shaking it. When they caught sight of the farmer approaching them they ran over for pats. I'm unsure what happened to the dogs? I believe the farmer found their owner and gave them a serving but allowed the dogs to live.

3 calves attacked by dog/s. Culprits weren't caught so this one could have been feral, but considering nothing was eaten again doesn't seem likely. 2 of the calves were found deceased, one with chunks taken from both sides so big you could stick your fist inside apparently. The other one was missing her ears and tail but had no other visible injuries asides from tears at her heels. She likely died from shock. The 3rd calf was found still alive, lying on its side with its intestines hanging out. The dogs had crippled its back legs so it couldn't stand or run and then torn open its stomach. It appears that they may have been going to eat the organs but were disturbed or scared off? This calf was shot.

7 sheep killed, 3 pregnant ewes and 2 lambs. I wasn't given details of how they died, or if any were found still alive, however I was told something which is incredibly upsetting. The dog that did this was their own. She was their pet German shepherd who had previously chased sheep but never attacked them. They rehomed her somewhere without other animals.

37 chickens. Once again no details but it was the neighbours pet dogs.

An alpaca who was guarding his herd of sheep died valiantly defending them from two dogs.

Somebody's entire flock of 10 sheep. They'd not long gotten them and since they were pets they were obviously crushed. Dog wasn't caught but was likely another pet considering the lambs bodies appeared to have been shaken around like toys.

That was all during 2018, last year. Please note that if vet treatment was feasible, a lot of these animals would have received it. Their conditions were so poor that there would've been nothing a vet could do asides from euthanasia. Although vet euthanasia is more humane and nicer than a slit throat or bullet through the skull, rural vets often aren't nearby so can take several hours to arrive. Although some cases would come down to money (a vet callout fee is around 100-200 bucks) majority were because these people didn't want to leave their stock in pain while they waited for vets to arrive (they likely would have died before the vet arrived anyway). So please don't come at me about how them putting their stock out of their misery is abuse or anything like that because it's an awful thing to go through and was not a decision made lightly.

All of this I only know from talking directly to the farmers (I'm involved in agricultural shows particularly the sheep and poultry sectors). Two of those people I mentioned are friends of mine. I had SEEN that first examples sheep on the Friday. He'd taken me down and showed me all of them. By the Monday, I think it was? Over half of them were gone. There was one little girl I fell in love with and joked about taking home with me. It crushed me finding out she was one of the ones he had to finish off, left there god knows how long in agony. I'll attach a photo of her because she deserves remembering.

That's livestock, I dread to think what dogs are doing to our local wildlife. Here are a couple cases I've heard about this year for wildlife. Descriptions are brief and not gory.

Pet dog killed a blue tongue lizard found in their yard. She also maimed another one which they got off her and took to the vets (likely euthanised)

Pet dog jumped and pulled a Ringtail possum out of a tree on an early morning walk. Owner got the possum away from it but she was pretty maimed, she was euthanised at the vets.

Pet dog kills big Brushtail possum it found crossing through the yard at night.

Pet dog on a walk takes off on owner chasing a wallaby. Leash wasn't securely being held so is pulled from the owners hand and the dog runs off into bushland after the wallaby. He came back after 10-15 minutes of calling him, muzzle covered in blood. It's unknown what happened to the wallaby.

Oh so many snakes killed by dogs.... people like to brag about their dogs killing snakes so I've probably got 30 stories of this for you. "He was guarding his family like a good boy" "only good snake is a dead snake and (dogs name) here knows it!" "Better the snake than me" "one less snake! I think that's celebration. I hope he gets more"

That last one in particular makes me incredibly angry. Vast majority of snake bites are because people either try to catch or kill the snake, if left alone we wouldn't have as many 'vicious snake attacks' as we do. Many dogs die annually or require antivenon due to being bit while mauling snakes. It's not that hard to train a dog not to touch wildlife.

I think it's great we're becoming more aware of the environmental impact cats have, and are hopefully becoming more responsible cat owners. However education also needs to be raised on how destructive dogs can be. We need to ensure that we're responsible owners and do everything we can to minimise the impact our pets have on both wildlife, and other people's pets.

Livestock summary: 12+ sheep killed, 23 sheep killed, 3 calves killed, 7 sheep killed, 37 chickens killed, 1 alpaca killed, 10 sheep killed. And not a single one was eaten, simply killed for sport.

Here's that gorgeous girl I said I'd attach a photo of, may she rest easy now.

#my posts #myposts #text

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