We all know dear Drew-fus is the crazy cat dude. Maybe a little ditty about the entire family's reactions to him being a cat whisperer and how cats seem to just appear near him, like he's some sort of catnip in human form?
Catnip
Least creative name I know, but I want deon fluff and I aint feeling creative enough to make it. 😪
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Leon was obviously the first to notice it. He's married to the man. Of course he noticed when cats who didn't even live in their neighbourhood started appearing in their house.
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"Drew?" "Yes baby?" Drew hums from where he's making coffee. "Whos cat is in Luci's cat tree?" Leon questions from his spot at the kitchen island. Drew pauses. "What?" Drew turns to his husband. Leon just nods at cat tree. Drew glances to see a white cat staring back at him. "Aw shit. Not again" Drew huffs. Leon chuckles. "No wonder their all hiding" Drew looks to see there two German shepherd's and black cat hidden in the corner of the kitchen staring at the tree. "Ill sort it" Drew huffs. "Im sure the kids appreciate it" Leon smirks at the animals.
Drew leaves with the cat only for Leon to hear his name. "Yeah?" "Charlie's here!" Drew calls. "Fuck" Leon groans throwing his head back.
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Cassie and rhea hold hands as they walk down the street. "We gonna stop for coffee?" Rhea asks. "I don't mind" drew hums. "Perfect! Need a coffee today" cassie smiles.
The trio pick up coffee before sitting outside to drink it.
This is when rhea and cassie find out drews weird...talent.
Cassie smiles as a cat wanders over. She watches as it avoids her and rhea and moves straight to drew, brushing against him and purring at him. Drew doesn't stop talking as he leans down and pets the cat. Cassie doesn't think much of it until other cats start approaching them and more importantly drew.
Rhea pauses. "What? What's wrong?" Drew asks confused. "Are you catnip or something? The fuck drew" cassie huffs. Drew looks down at the cats. "Ah" drew huffs. "And this isn't the first time" Rhea chuckles at his reaction. "Go on now, shoo, go" drew orders. Expecting the cats to stare at him stupid, the girls are shocked as the cats begin walking away.
"What the fuck?" "Howwwww????"
Drew looks at them. "I can't explain it. Trust me." Drew mutters. "Its kinda cool. You new nickname is catnip" "Oh my god yes! Changing your contact right away" the girls giggle as Drew groans. "Lets get back" he huffs. "Yes catnip"
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John looks at the cat. "Howd it get in here?" He asks. "No idea" Randy huffs kneeling down. The cat hisses at him. "Ah fuck that" Randy mutters. "What is it?" Sheamus asks as him and drew approach. "A violent stray cat" Randy states. "Ah no such thing" drew smiles moving forward. "Ah drew I wouldn't" John warns as the man kneels. "Hey buddy" drew coos holding his hand out. The trio watch as the cat moves and brushes against drews hand, purring at him before trying to climb him. "What the fuck" Randy blurts out.
John watches as drew stands, holding the cat. "Lets say its a gift of mine" drew shrugs. "Your sister calls him catnip. I understand it now" sheamus tells John. "Catnip. Interesting." John mutters looking at the cat trying to snuggle against drew. "Ill take this lil guy out." Drew hums walking out. "You know, it probably followed him in here." Sheamus states. "Seriously?" Randy asks. "Yeah man, cats are just attracted to him. It's weird." Sheamus huffs.
"Yeah it is." John nods.
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Taker yawns as he walks in the lockeroom. "Its cute." Finn states. "Whats cute?" Taker asks. "Leon and drews new cat" finn states. "Hes not ours. He's some random cat that followed me home. His name is snowflake and our animals hate him" drew explains. Taker pauses. "Animals often follow you home?" Taker asks. "Just cats." Drew shrugs. "Yeah? And your two cats are cool with that?" "Two cats?" Drew asks. "Yeah, luci and hunter right?" "Oh hunter ain't ours. He's just my most loyal follower. It's that bad we befriended his owners and look after him when they go away. They watch ours when we go away too" drew explains.
This grabs everyone's attention. "Hunter isn't yours????" Seth asks. "Nope. Someone got him first." Drew shrugs. "I thought he was" sheamus states. "I promise you we only have three animals. Two dogs, one cat. It's like Charlie." Drew tries. "Charlie?" "Charlie's is the kids childhood dog...that it scarily still alive and I'm quite frankly too scared to look into why. He just randomly disappears and I get phone calls from all three kids saying he's at theirs." Taker states. "Okay but drew attracts cats like catnip" sheamus states. "Can't explain that" Taker shrugs. "But you agree it's weird?" Seth asks. "It is. Very. Does Leon know?" Taker asks. "Yes. We only live together." Drew snarks. "Watch it catnip" Taker teases.
Why is his son-in-law a human catnip?
Weird. He'll speak to kane, see what he knows.
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Shawn of course was the last to find out. But he also got a lot more insight because of it.
He smiles at the young couple as all three walk through the streets.
It's when he looks back and sees the cats following drew that he grows concerned. "Uh cats" Shawn asks. Drew stops and turns. "Stop following me." Drew orders. "Please." He adds. The cats just meow before walking away. "Where did they even come from? This city does not have a stray cat problem" Shawn asks. "Can't answer that one" Drew huffs. Shawn looks at him. "And they listened to you. Like didn't even hesitate" Shawn adds. "Yeah" Drew chuckles rubbing his neck. "I reckon it's the body heat he lets off" Leon hums, eyes locked on his phone.
Shawn looks at Leon who's practically pressed against drews side, like the cats. "Well, it would explain a lot." Shawn smirks. Drew can't help but laugh. Because yeah, drew was a magnet for cats. But his husband? His husband displayed the biggest amount of cat behaviour he's ever seen.
"This always been a thing?" Shawn asks. "What your son being a cat or cats just being attracted to me?" Drew asks. "Rather be a cat than a snake." Leon mutters. "The cats following ya" Shawn answers. "Hmm don't think so. But I'm not too sure if I've just not noticed until others have" drew admits. "Interesting" Shawn whispers. "Interesting?" Drew asks. "Hes thinking it could be valley related." Leon states pocketing his phone and taking drews hand. "Could it?" Drew asks. "Possible." Shawn admits. "Not the worse thing you could get. I'm telling you, you'd hate to be john" Leon smirks. "Well. Enough cat talk, we better get going" Shawn claps. The trio continue their walk.
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Drew stares at the ceiling as Leon nuzzles closer to him. His husband truly was a cat. "I didnt think I radiated that much body heat" drew states. "You are definitely like a furnace, atleast to those of us who got the body head of a dead man" Leon murmurs sleepily against his chest. "The cat thing, it doesnt exactly feel like body heat is the answer. You don't...like, I don't know, rub catnip on my clothes do ya?" Drew asks. Leon can't help but chuckle. "God no but I'll remember that next time I see John. Maybe you need to accept you are human catnip and get back to cuddling me." Leon smiles. "God if only the wwe universe knew how much of a cuddler their skeleton King is" drew jokes as he wraps his arms around Leon. "Mmm, don't think they'd blame me with arms this big" Leon, nips drews bicep to emphasis his point. Drew frowns and taps Leon's hip. "Ypu gotta stop biting me man, I got no way to explain it. No one's believing the whole, Leon generally just bites as love language anymore." Drew huffs.
"Tell them I'm part cat"
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Notes
Betting Luci slips catnip onto drews back pocket every day.
Also yes, pets. I've been making the kids and their partners fake insta pages which I'll show eventually and well it involves pets. Rhea and cassie have a tarantula (pete) and a snake (noodle). Drew and Leon have two German shepherd's (Hades and Bear) (ignoring Leon's childhood let bear) and one cat (luci). Randy and John have a dog (V) and also end up with Charlie a lot.
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