#but yes Neil asks to take a few pictures of Andrew and Andrew acts unimpressed but secretly. we know. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xlady-saya · 4 years

Text

there’s always more to learn [fic]

Pairings: andrew/neil, aaron/katelyn

Tags: wholesome twinyards, fluff, more aaron suffering, references to canon violence/abuse

read on ao3!

Aaron's leg bounces impatiently as the clock in Bee's office ticks agonizingly slow. There's only five minutes left in today's session, and Aaron is more than ready to bolt out of there.

Katelyn is waiting. The weekend is waiting.

He's glad they rescheduled this week's session to Friday, but it doesn't make the waiting easier. If anything, time is seeping like molasses.

To his left, Andrew is stirring his fifth mug of cocoa with a spoon, even though there's no reason to mix it. Every few seconds, out of time with the ticking clock, the spoon hits the side of the cup and clangs into the quiet of the room.

Aaron is almost positive Andrew does this on purpose just to annoy him. Every. Time.

Aaron slides a glare towards his twin, with less heat than usual, while Andrew stares innocently ahead.

Aaron rolls his eyes; Andrew can act as unaffected as he wants, he's probably just as impatient. Aaron sees it in the subtle fidgeting, the way Andrew just can't quite seem to get comfortable in the cozy armchair.

What an ass, Aaron thinks, but there's an edge of fondness to it. Today's session had actually been...pleasant. He feels smooth, cleansed, instead of just raw.

This was becoming a more common occurrence, much to Aaron's shock. Sure, they would still discuss Tilda, or the trial, or the years spent apart, unaware of each other’s existence. Those conversations never got easy, but they got better. When they first started going to these joint therapy sessions, Aaron would storm out more often than not. The days he stayed meant tense, murderous silence, or cutting words which tore open new issues neither one of them even knew about.

The silence which settles over them this time is different. It's satisfied, not full of tension waiting to explode because of one of Aaron's careless remarks or Andrew's bluntness.

It's been like this for a while now. Aaron talks, Andrew responds, Bee mediates. They take small steps forward, with the occasional leap, but more often than not they get mutual understanding out of each other.

It's still a battle some days, but the fact Andrew is actually putting in an effort is enough to make Aaron put in his own.

Ever since he'd grown to accept Andrew's feelings for Neil as equivalent to his own for Katelyn, things had been moving even faster in the right direction.

It's why today is even possible, when months ago it would've been a terrible idea.

Aaron's stomach flips at the reminder of Katelyn, waiting for him outside, and he probably looks like he has to take a giant shit with how he has to force down his giddy smile.

Andrew shifts in his seat again, staring at the clock.

Of course, Bee misses none of it. She's usually more than happy to engage in small talk to wind down the last five minutes of their sessions, but today she'd let them sit in the comfortable silence, simply at peace with one another. Now though, with three minutes on the clock, she chooses to comment.

Goddamn shrinks...

"Well, you two seem excited," she says, voice warm without being prying. They don't have to respond, there's no pressure there, and Aaron decides eh, why not?

Andrew grunts something which Aaron takes as his attempt at denial, because after all, Andrew doesn't feel excitement. Or, that's what he used to say. It's becoming a less frequent statement, one Bee no doubt finds joy in. There's hardly any real fight in Andrew's unimpressed stare, and he doesn't seem to have any desire to elaborate. Bee must sense it too, Andrew's implied agreement to her statement, and she beams at his progress.

Aaron shares a look with his twin, who just shrugs, like he can't be bothered with explaining.

'You do it,' the looks says. Aaron still isn't used to how normal this feels, making plans with his brother, talking about them, spending time together that isn't part of some deal or debt.

"Katelyn and I have a mini golf date after this," he tells Bee, letting his face relax into a small smile. He can't help it when Katelyn is involved, and he wonders if the affection will ever wear off. He hopes not. "She invited Neil and Andrew."

'O-M-G, a double date!' Nicky had proclaimed obnoxiously, tears welling in his eyes. 'I'm so proud of you guys!'

Idiot.

But, he wasn't wrong. Aaron hadn't expected Andrew to say yes, but before he knew it they bought the tickets and made plans to drive to the mini-golf course after their session. It's new territory, with a lot of room for error, but Aaron lets himself be hopeful for once.

Either way, he gets to spend the night with Katelyn and hold her close while she tries to line up the ball.

Aaron sighs dreamily; it's a date night, so Katelyn will probably wear a skirt. He can't wait.

Beside him, Andrew scoffs.

"That's lovely!" Bee says, her face lighting up and she pulls her hands together. "I think it's great you two are spending more time together."

'More time.' More than the study sessions and video game nights. Voluntary time, and it's actually...not awful.

Aaron looks over to his twin and decides to say fuck it once again. This is what therapy is for right? Trying to be honest?

"Me too," he mutters, reluctant but no less truthful. Andrew's eyes slide over to him and they share a long look. Andrew's blank mask gives nothing away, but there's something swimming in the void beneath, an intensity, an acquiescence. Andrew tilts his head forward, a ghost of a nod, and Aaron's chest tightens up.

A beat passes and Andrew finally takes a sip of cocoa before he speaks, tone giving nothing away. "I just want to prove Neil isn't good at every sport."

Aaron snorts, he'd like to see that too. So far, the Foxes had been unable to find a physical activity Neil didn't pick up fast.

It's infuriating.

Satisfied with sharing like this for the remaining few minutes, Aaron sighs again. "Katelyn is cute when she focuses too hard on the game," he tells Bee, already picturing Katelyn's flushed face when her ball barely misses the hole-in-one.

Bee's smile turns a little smug. "It seems they're both competitive then?"

"I guess," Aaron says with a shrug, not really thinking about it. Katelyn is a hard worker, she hates to lose. It's sexy and adorable, and whoever wins usually gets a reward when they get home...

Aaron fully intends to cash in.

Andrew scoffs, like it doesn't even begin to cover Neil. It really doesn't. The little asshole is probably already taking the fucking game too seriously, and it's mini-golf. Aaron doesn't get how he and Katelyn get along so well, Neil's intensity is on another level.

It pisses Aaron off.

Bee's laugh is delicate, a chirp. "I must say, when you told me the two of them were becoming fast friends all those months ago, I wasn't surprised," she says. "Though I suppose you two must've already had a laugh about it."

The assumption that Andrew has ever 'had a laugh' while sober isn't worth pointing out, he's sure Bee knows anyways.

Andrew squints at her at the same time Aaron does, and something close to confusion settles on his usually neutral features. They share a look, and it suddenly feels like they're treading on thin ice.

Aaron hopes he's just paranoid, like he doesn't hear a bomb countdown in his head.

"What do you mean?" Aaron asks, cautiously. When Neil and Katelyn began to hang out, neither he nor Andrew really tried to stop it. It wasn't their call, but back then they'd been less than happy about it. Aaron had been shocked; after all, Andrew had threatened Katelyn while Neil just watched. Somehow, the event was less scary in Katelyn’s mind now, and it bloomed into some begrudging respect for Neil which had no issue spiraling into a weird friendship. Now, it's just a fact of life.

Aaron has no doubt Neil would throw Katelyn to the dogs for Andrew or the Foxes, but he treats Katelyn well and never lies to her, something she seems to value immensely from him.

Aaron doesn't get it, but Katelyn likes Neil and Neil doesn’t seem opposed to her either. Whatever.

He and Andrew don't mention it, never had a sit down about it. They certainly never had a laugh about it. Why would they?

"Well, the two of them are so alike," Bee goes on, oblivious to the tension leaking into the space. Her smile is pleasant, teasing. "It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

The world freezes on its axis.

Andrew inhales a little too loudly the same time Aaron chokes on his spit. "W-What?"

The question levitates in the air, a second away from freefall.

Deceptively calm, Andrew puts his mug down with a harsh thud on the coffee table. Their time is up, but neither of them move.

Aaron would feel pride at seeing Bee so dumbstruck, if his brain wasn't liquifying in his head.

"Oh," Bee breathes, looking between the two of them slowly. She purses her lips. "You didn't know."

It's the match which lights the fire in Aaron's blood. He shoots forward, hands clenched in the couch cushions.

"That bastard is nothing like Katelyn!" Aaron spits, and Bee's smile is gone. How could she even think that?

In an instant, Aaron pictures a side by side of Katelyn and Neil. His cute, put together girlfriend who always smiles and gets along with everyone.

Then there's fucking Neil, and his all hoodie wardrobe with resting bitch face and a short fuse.

And okay, perhaps he should've phrased that better. He has no issues with his twin's relationship anymore, but he isn't exactly ready to entertain the idea that...oh god no, it's impossible.

Dobson's really off her rocker with this one.

Their feelings are the same, not their significant others.

"Aaron, that language is insulting," she reprimands, gesturing to his brother. "Neil is very important to Andrew--"

"I'll allow it," Andrew interrupts with a hand raised, shocking them all. Aaron realizes too late what the concession means though. It's classic Andrew philosophy: equal exchange. He wheels on Aaron quickly, the motion smooth and deliberate. "Sorority girl isn't exactly defying any stereotypes. Even if I was inclined to women, I doubt she'd do it for me."

Translation: 'My bastard is nothing like Katelyn, thank fuck for that.'

"Fuck you Andrew," Aaron bites back. It's a weird feeling, arguing without being enraged. There's no threat of violence here, and Aaron laughs at the ridiculousness of it. "Josten could offer to put me through med school and I still wouldn't screw him."

Andrew leans back, eyes scanning Aaron up and down. "Why would Neil want anything to do with a face like yours?"

"I look just like you."

"Mm," Andrew hums, unconvinced.

Bee looks at her watch, as if considering how far she wants to let this go given the time. "Perhaps it's best we unpack this another time. Aaron, I do want you to think about why it is you feel so insulted. I thought you liked having good things in common with Andrew?"

"I do, but not this!" Aaron says, fake retching. Andrew just stews in his chair.

He and Andrew having similar tastes in who they like is not something he can handle. It's way too close for comfort, and although he's accepted Neil's importance in his brother's life, that doesn't mean he's suddenly Aaron's favorite person.

Neil...Katelyn...alike...

Aaron's brain scrambles to piece it together.

Something akin to amusement crosses Bee's face before it disappears, and Aaron glares at her as murderously as he can manage.

"Look Bee, we're agreeing," Andrew says after a bit, tipping his mug of cocoa back as if it were a shot. "Are you proud?"

Well, at least they're on the same page about Bee's latest opinion: it's completely unfounded.

"Katelyn is sweet, and kind, and considerate," Aaron lists. "Your boy toy is abrasive, impulsive, and doesn't know how to keep his damn mouth shut!"

Andrew shrugs, unimpressed. "You say all that like they're bad things."

"To most people they are."

"Boring."

Before Aaron can launch into another tirade, Bee decides she's had enough. She laughs amicably, putting up her hands in surrender. The sound is lighthearted, and it's amazing how she can sense when the twins are having a legitimate fight versus just being asshole siblings; normal.

Aaron crosses his arms at the same time Andrew does.

"I only meant that they are alike in their feelings for you, and how they express them," Bee points out, as she has many times before. Aaron forces himself to listen to her try to backpedal. "They're both pillars of strength in your lives who you communicate well with. Right?"

Aaron and Andrew share another look; it's hard for them to admit still, but they passed that milestone weeks ago. They mumble their agreement under their breath.

Bee grins.

"But well, you're right I suppose," she sighs, patting down the ruffles of her skirt as she stands. "They have very different personalities. You two would know best."

Yeah, we would.

"Anyways, I've kept you too long as is. Go have fun on your date," Bee says, serene smile back in place. Something in the air shifts, and Aaron can't place the feeling.

Maybe it's impending doom.

Andrew still regards his therapist with suspicion as he stands, as if waiting for something else, something more.

But Bee only waves at them as they cross the room to the door. "See you both next week!"

When they walk out of Reddin, Neil is leaning against the hood of the Maserati with Katelyn. They're talking about something, probably that show Katelyn had gotten Neil into the past month (very hard to accomplish, Matt is still asking her how she did it). It's a normal sight, seeing them calmly discussing and laughing every now and again.

But now, instead of brushing it off, Aaron analyzes everything.

Ah, that's what he felt earlier. A seed being planted.

This is a fucking nightmare.

Aaron almost thinks he's the only one affected, until Andrew falters in step beside him. The blond pauses, hesitation clear in his movements. It's so unlike Andrew, it sends chills down Aaron's spine.

Aaron watches the light bounce through Katelyn's reddish brown hair, as if lighting it on fire with streaks of gold. She's gorgeous, with sun-kissed skin and blue eyes which never fail to make Aaron melt.

Usually, the sight makes all his problems disappear; Katelyn has a way of clearing his head, making him feel sane.

But then his eyes slide over to Neil, and oh god, he sees it. He can't unsee it. Neil's messy bangs catch the sunlight in almost the same way, bringing out more of its reddish color. Icy blue eyes stand out against tan skin, the result of hours spent on a track. Even with the scars, the resemblance is there.

They're basically the same height too, which is just another fuck you from the universe.

"It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

"Andrew," he whispers to his brother, fearful, urgent.

Andrew's response is so quick it burns Aaron. "No," he states, end of conversation. Aaron gets the message loud and clear. If we don't talk about it we can pretend it's not true.

Aaron is 100% on board.

They walk towards the car, making their presence known, and Neil and Katelyn spot them at the same time. Their faces light up in almost the same way, though Neil's expression is more guarded, toned down for Andrew's sake. Is this always how it happens?

Aaron groans internally.

Yup, pretending is going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Andrew stills a little, and Neil's smile falters, raising an eyebrow in question. Andrew shakes his head, and it's enough. Neil relaxes in an instant.

The way they do that will never not be creepy.

It settles Aaron for the moment; Neil and Andrew are so different from him and Katelyn in everything they do. Still, he has a feeling this isn't the end of this.

For now though, he pushes the thought away as he reaches Katelyn, letting her kiss his cheek and wash his worries away. He really is excited to spend time with her, he'd be with her all the time if he could. He'll never understand why she looks at him like that, he doesn't deserve it. There's an adoration in her eyes every time he walks into a room, like she's the lucky one.

How wrong she is.

"Ready to lose?" She teases, hooking her pinky around his as they pile into the backseat. Aaron smirks at the challenge.

Oh, she's going to get it. "We'll see."

Aaron glances up to see what the hold up is, only to find Andrew whispering with Neil as his hand slowly trails down Neil's arm. The touch is gentle, and strangely intimate. Andrew's hand stops at Neil's wrist, pressing down. Neil laughs breathily, and Aaron catches the end of some Russian words.

He doesn't understand them, but he knows no one else is meant to hear.

He tears his gaze away to settle in the back with Katelyn, giving her all his attention, and doesn't bat an eye when Neil and Andrew slip into the front seats.

Neil is going to win, because of course he is.

It becomes painfully obvious five holes in, with Neil's natural movements and controlled tilts of the club.

Andrew's face gives away nothing the entire time, but the subtle shift of his eyes between his club and Neil's triumphant face says a lot.

The striker has already managed three holes in one, with Andrew close behind with two, but at this point his twin has to know it's a lost cause. Aaron doesn't miss the twitch of Andrew's jaw, and it's enough to soothe the blow of Neil being good at something.

Sorta.

Cutely, Katelyn blows her bangs out of her face, determined to catch up. She's been frozen with the ball lined up for a good two minutes now, and Aaron is in no mood to rush her. Her skirt flutters in the wind, her face flushed from the breeze. Aaron's jacket is short on her, matching well with her crop top. Sometimes Aaron wonders if she dresses off season just for the excuse to wear his clothes.

He hopes she never stops, and his eyes scan the smooth skin of her abdomen.

Aaron gives up around hole six. It's not just his dead last ranking, he's never been good at golf. It's mostly because winning isn't the real goal for the night.

Katelyn flicks her eyes to him as she smiles, full of apology for taking too long. Like Aaron minds.

He doubts Andrew and Neil notice either; he watches Andrew follow Neil to the next hole with disinterest, like he regrets the whole evening. Aaron can't see his face from where he stands, but he sees Neil's soften at something in his twin's expression.

Yeah, the rest of the world might as well be chopped liver. Aaron can relate.

He turns back to Katelyn, and recalls analyzing her for a different reason. When they first started playing, he'd tracked her and Neil's movements, watching them both tilt their heads left and right, appraising the perfect angles. Neil's hand would come up to brush his bangs at the same time Katelyn's did, and they'd bite down on their bottom lips in anticipation.

It was almost synchronized.

He and Andrew exchanged a glance, but said nothing.

Stupid. Coincidence. Don't think about it.

And since then, Aaron hasn’t. His mood has been too good.

With Andrew and Neil out of sight, Aaron allows himself a smile, and slides up behind Katelyn. His hands rest easily on her hips, and she doesn't even flinch at the contact, so used to Aaron's hands. So trusting.

Aaron swallows down the lump in his throat. Ever since the trial, he thought she'd be done with him. Katelyn, her future so promising and heart so pure...

What could she want with someone like him, hands stained with blood?

But she'd never hesitated to pull him back.

"Mm, hi," Katelyn giggles, leaning back into him as her hips sway. "Gonna help me line up?"

Aaron rolls his eyes fondly, placing his hands over the grip, swinging the club forward slightly. "I don't know how much more I can do. You're taking this a little too far for someone nearly in last."

She scoffs, affronted. "Says the one actually in last. Thank goodness Neil is as competitive as me."

Aaron tries not to stiffen. "Ugh, he's so annoying."

Katelyn laughs, reading Aaron's groan as his normal Neil-based contempt. He grips her waist tighter, forcing Bee's words away.

"I knew I'd never win," Aaron shrugs, ignoring his girlfriend's smirk as best he can. "We can be losers together."

"I don't feel like a loser with you," she whispers, turning her head to graze her lips along his ear. Aaron doesn't bother to repress his shiver.

"Sap."

"You like it."

And in that moment, Aaron can no longer resist. He steals Katelyn's lips in a passionate kiss, thankful there's no one else around thanks to the chilly weather. Katelyn whimpers in his mouth, her muscles turning to jelly, and she swings the club lightly before abandoning it completely.

The ball flies way off course, bouncing from the green and onto the sidewalk, but he doesn't care. Neither of them do, and he sighs when Katelyn leans all the way into him.

When Katelyn's legs are less jelly-like, she runs off to collect her ball while Aaron trudges ahead. He doesn't expect to see the shadows of Neil and Andrew still at the next hole; he and Katelyn were preoccupied for a while, but when he catches a glimpse of the scene, he understands.

It's over and done the moment Andrew hears his footsteps, moving away from Neil in one swift movement.

It's like nothing ever happened, Andrew's hands stuffed in his pockets; the only evidence is Neil hastily picking up his club.

But Aaron saw.

He didn't miss the closeness, Neil's back pressed to Andrew's chest as he leaned back for a kiss. He heard the end of Neil's sigh, his body melting to relax against Andrew.

Ah yes, he understands the sense of impending doom in Bee's office now. This is definitely going to be another one of those lessons isn't it?

He sighs; there's no avoiding it, only postponing. He walks up the Andrew calmly, not meeting his eye, even when Katelyn and Neil stand side by side again. It's so clear, like this.

Aaron glares into the void.

He wants to groan, to hate this.

But he can't.

The universe is an even bigger bitch than Neil.

Once the seed had been planted, it was like there was evidence everywhere. It's as if they'd been walking through a crime scene for months but just now noticed all the bloodshed.

They're sitting in the stadium lounge because of a rainstorm, waiting for the rain to subside just enough to get to their cars. Nicky complains loudly in the corner about missing his phone date with Erik, and Aaron blocks out the more inappropriate details.

He's in a good mood again; Katelyn came to see him practice, since cheer practice had been cancelled. She sits at the low coffee table in the lounge, scribbling away in her journal and shooting Aaron flirty glances.

It's great, and not even the Foxes' bickering can change that.

The lightning cuts through the walls again.

Okay, maybe they should leave.

Normally after a grueling practice, the Foxes would've braved the elements no matter how bad. They all just wanted to go home. Today is especially bad, lightning crackling in the sky.

Allison had been adamant they wait, but it seemed to only be getting worse.

"If even a single raindrop gets on me, it's your ass Day," she states, almost out of nowhere.

Kevin looks up from his dumb homework, wrinkles looking as old as his soul. Aaron is waiting for the day he snaps. It's one of the only bets he participates in. "Why me?"

Allison shrugs, like it's obvious. "I dunno, just feel like it."

"You do make it easy Kevin," Nicky interrupts, nodding sagely. Aaron actually laughs.

"Stop bullying Kevin, it's giving me a headache," Wymack yells from where he's polishing their trophy, probably just as unhappy at their presence. There's only so much he can tolerate in one day. He loves them, but they're all assholes.

"You're his father, you're biased," Nicky shoots back, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder.

"You think I want to hear him whine?"

Kevin's hands go up in offense. The edges of a tribal tattoo peek out from where his sleeve falls, a work in progress that’s still healing and that they’re all pretty sure makes Wymack cry. "I literally did nothing to deserve this."

Katelyn's laugh is sweet and good natured, cutting through their usual banter. "You guys are such sweet friends!"

Dan and Matt beam from where they're flopped over each other on the couch, more content to watch the rest of them argue. They're being oddly clingy, and Aaron doubts he's going to be seeing his room anytime soon.

"Aw, and you're an angel!" Nicky slides onto the floor next to Katelyn, hugging her tight. She's one of the only ones who can take the crushing weight of Nicky's hugs. "How did Aaron get so lucky?"

And well, he really must be in a good mood, because his reply comes smoothly and without hesitation. He doesn't care who's around. "I don't know," he breathes out with a smile, and Katelyn's eyes widen, icy blue shining in adoration.

The moment doesn't last long. A chorus of 'awws' fill the room, and Aaron's smile shifts into a frown almost comically. "Oh shut the fuck up."

Cigarette smoke fills his nostrils, and he looks to where his brother is dutifully smoking a cigarette indoors. He guesses Wymack is too tired to scold him, but for once Andrew's bored stare is welcome. At least he never has to worry about Andrew joining in on the Foxes' teasing.

Not in the traditional way anyways.

Andrew's eyes flick to the locker room entrance every now and again, waiting for Neil to emerge. He catalogs it for later, as ammo, before his attention flies back to Katelyn.

Katelyn bites her lip to keep down her grin, but then her eyes widen in gleeful realization. She pops up to join him against the wall, pulling out a few colorful bags from her backpack.

Instantly, Aaron knows what they are, can almost taste the salt. He's never been good with cravings, obviously.

He smiles at his own morbid joke, but it's overshadowed by actual appreciation. If Andrew has a thing for ice cream, then Aaron has a thing for chips. Specifically, this brand, with its alternating flavors.

"I almost forgot! I was at the store earlier and I saw these," Katelyn says as Aaron is already tearing open a bag. "It's the flavor you like, so I bought a big stash. It's under my bed at the dorm."

God, Aaron could marry her right then. He bites down on a chip, biting back a sigh. He's lucky he plays a sport, or he'd have some serious health issues because of these things.

"You're so thoughtful," he says, and he means it, pulling her in by the back of the neck to kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"They're chips not a kidney," Andrew deadpans from the window, still not looking at any of them. Matt snorts, but Aaron for a blissful moment that his brother isn't there.

"I think it's adorable," Renee throws into the silence, and Aaron is thankful.

He shoots her a nod as he loops his arm around Katelyn's waist, pulling her close. His next words are directed at one person and one person only. "I like that Katelyn knows me so well," he jabs, and feels Andrew pause mid-drag.

But that's the most he gets; he counts it as a win. As far as reactions go, this is a gold mine from Andrew. His twin fixes him with a bored stare. "Ah to be known..."

Aaron huffs, a self-satisfied grin stuck in place.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, I can't take it anymore," Matt urges as he jumps to his feet. Dan is quick to follow, the two hand and hand.

Aaron can't help but roll his eyes. "You just want the dorm to yourself for an extra fifteen minutes."

Matt waggles his eyebrows. "You got me there. Ready to run for it?"

Renee and Allison follow them dutifully, knowing he won't wait more than a few seconds for them to actually agree. With a scowl to freeze hell, Allison drapes her team jacket over her perfectly styled hair.

Honestly, why even make the effort.

The thunder booms again as they rush out the door, their silhouettes disappearing in the heavy rain. He's glad Andrew lets Katelyn in his car now, or else they'd be walking back to the dorms.

This is better too, because Katelyn has to sit in his lap. He's really glad she came.

Neil, as usual, walks in last, always holding them up despite his speedy reputation. His hair sticks to his forehead as he strolls out into the lounge, damp from a shower and muscles relaxed. "Where is everyone?"

Andrew takes too long to respond, if he was going to attempt it at all. His eyes scan Neil up and down before the interest is seemingly gone.

"Getting wet probably," Aaron remarks, trying not to be grossed out about what that look might mean for the two of them later. He's staying at Katelyn's.

"And not in the fun way," Katelyn jokes before her cheeks light up red, too relaxed in Aaron's presence. Adorable. "Oopsie."

Neil turns to her, blue eyes marred with confusion. "I don't get it."

Of course you don't.

It's not even the fact it's a sex joke, because Neil can pick up on their innuendos more often than not. The result of years on the run simply means a lot of slang goes over Neil's head.

Aaron scoffs.

Nicky sighs, unsurprised but just as disappointed. "Hey Neil, are you sure you and Andrew have sex?"

"Nicky." Andrew's voice is toneless, but cutting, and Katelyn backs herself and Aaron away in preparation for a potential strike. Her survival instincts have improved after time around the Foxes.

Nicky throws his hands up in surrender. At one point he might've been scared, nervous at Andrew's warning. Aaron knows things have been getting better between the two of them too though, and Nicky seems exasperated at most. "Alright, alright! Just saying."

Andrew's glare is gone in a blink, and he regards Neil's lost expression as he stubs out his cigarette. "I'll explain later."

Good enough for Neil, apparently. The striker walks over to Andrew as casually as possible while the rest of them collect their bags, but the energy in his step is there. Aaron might even call it giddiness.

Andrew raises a brow as Neil stops in front of him, amusement swimming beneath the surface. It's gone as soon as Neil shrugs off his jacket and pushes it into Andrew's arms. Andrew doesn't move to take it, letting it fall to the floor. Neil snorts, no doubt expecting it. "C'mon, I know you're cold."

His smirk is teasing as he stares at Andrew's exposed shoulders a little too long. Katelyn leans in to whisper in Aaron's ear. "Guess your brother has as little cold tolerance as you do."

"Whatever," he mutters, much to her amusement.

It's freezing okay? At least he's not wearing a muscle t-shirt like Andrew. Idiot.

Andrew and Neil have a stare down for another five seconds before Andrew scoops up the jacket in the most petulant display Aaron has ever seen.

"You know nothing," Andrew says, shoving his arms through the sleeves as he ignores Neil's bright grin. Before he can turn away towards the door, Neil's voice stops him again, yanking him back.

"Oh by the way," Neil says with the wave of a hand. He fishes into his bag to pull out a king size Milky Way, only slightly crushed from whatever crap he keeps in there.

He hands it to Andrew as if it's a roll of money, as payment for a deal. Maybe he knows candy is just that important to Andrew.

Andrew stares at it, no doubt having the same crisis Aaron is currently having.

It doesn't matter, doesn't mean anything. Lots of boyfriends and girlfriends buy each other things...it's normal.

He glances quickly between Neil and Katelyn.

They're not alike. They're not.

"I got it for you, you ate your last one right?" Neil asks, shrugging with the ghost of a smile. "I know you like the dark chocolate better but they were out."

"I didn't ask," Andrew states, still staring at the candy bar in his hand.

Neil smirks, walking past him and out into the rain without a care. He is mindful not to brush their shoulders though. "You didn't need to."

Andrew's grunt is left up to interpretation, and Aaron doesn't care to figure out what it means.

Katelyn happily runs after Neil, eager to get to the car. Andrew's shoulders relax as he pulls out his keys, stuffing the candy in the jacket pocket for later.

As much as Bee's words ring in Aaron's head, annoying and worrisome, Aaron can't help but take advantage.

Andrew deserves it.

He stops right as he's about to pass Andrew, watching Neil and Katelyn jump in a puddle on accident. As if sensing Aaron's shit-eating grin, Andrew turns, and the words breeze out of Aaron's mouth. "Ah, to be known--"

"Fuck you."

Aaron makes a list in his head, because he can't resist it. It only grows as he notices more things, which doesn't help his stress.

Neil and Katelyn. Katelyn and Neil.

They're both dense when it comes to flirting.

They're both thoughtful when it concerns the twins (but Neil is still an asshole in every other arena of life okay, that's not up for debate.)

They're both competitive.

Lightweights.

Focused.

Straightforward.

That doesn't begin to cover the physical things Aaron had noticed earlier, but he forces himself to stop there. He doesn't know how much more he can take. Is it really possible? Could his beautiful, thoughtful girlfriend be anything like that arrogant exy addict?

Aaron scratches his head furiously as he trudges up the stairs to his dorm; he doesn't have time to be worrying about this. He skipped his last class for extra review time, so he better take advantage of the team's absence. Even sharing a room with Matt doesn't guarantee him peace and quiet. The Foxes all end up congregating one way or another, but Aaron knows they've all got full schedules at this time.

It's perfect, but his hope dies when he rounds the hall and hears voices coming from an open door. It's Andrew's dorm.

That's odd, he thinks. It's not like Andrew or Neil to be home at this time, and Kevin and Nicky wouldn't be far behind them.

Aaron slows as he passes, and a flash of blond is all he sees for a moment. Aaron's feet stick to the floor as he jolts back.

Andrew sits on the couch in the dorm, staring at nothing. It wouldn't be so uncommon any other day, but something in his eyes makes Aaron's blood run cold.

Or maybe it's the absence of something, the absence of anything.

If he didn't know better, he'd think Andrew a corpse. But the tense set to his jaw and shoulders say otherwise. He's never seen someone seem wound so tight but so defeated all at once.

He's definitely not used to seeing it from his brother.

There's a pale, haunted quality to his face, like he's not really there, like he's somewhere else far, far away from all of this. Knowing where Andrew has been, what he's seen...

Aaron doesn't want to think about what Andrew's going through in that moment, but he has a few ideas. The echoes of a drugged cackle poison Aaron's thoughts and he bites the inside of his cheek hard.

Andrew's bad days...he hardly lets anyone see them, and Aaron's next thought is so selfish it twists him up inside.

For a second, he's glad Andrew hides this...these days of his where nothing's okay. Aaron wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with them, and offering any real help would be nothing more than an unattainable hope.

It chokes him; he hates himself for standing there, for seeing, for staring like Andrew is some caged animal waiting to strike. He knows he has to leave, he knows, but he doesn't know how to move.

He's not the one who makes the decision for him; like a ghost, Neil crosses the front of the doorway, obscuring Aaron's view of the whole scene. His scarred hand flies to the door, as if meaning to slam it shut, to keep Andrew protected, when Neil recognizes him.

However, there's a split second where he does not, and Aaron is treated to another rare sight. For a moment, that stupid session with Bee pops back into his mind. The part of his brain which isn't frozen by Neil's stare laughs at him; ah, finally, a difference.

Because see, there's no doubt about it. Katelyn and Neil are fiercely protective, and Aaron knows Katelyn would be there for him in his lowest moments. She's proved it; she was there after Drake's attack, after the first few brutal therapy sessions. Always listening, caring.

But here is where Aaron sees a critical gap between her and Neil, and he's reminded none too kindly that Neil was born in a world of blood and flesh.

Katelyn's humble suburbia was always out of his reach.

The look which crosses the striker's face is downright murderous, pure contempt dripping off his threatening grin. The guard dog is out in full force, but it's so much more than that. This smile...it's so sharp edged and without remorse, it can only come from years of training to be a force of pain and suffering.

The Butcher's Boy, one article had called him.

It's the kind of smile which makes a promise. It says no matter how cutting it may look, it's nothing compared to what the wearer's hands can do.

Had Aaron been anyone else, a stranger, a genuine threat...

He wonders what Neil would've done.

But then the look is gone, falling from Neil's expression as he realizes it's Aaron. The cool, assessing stare is back, and some of the tension fades. He still keeps the door partly closed, his body blocking Andrew from Aaron's vision.

Aaron just stares.

He and Neil get along better now, for sure, but there's always going to be suspicion between them both. Part of Aaron will always have the fear of Neil hurting Andrew, and Neil will always have the fear of Aaron doing the same.

After all, Aaron has misunderstood his brother before, hasn't he?

Vile words screamed in therapy replay in his head, and he swallows down the guilt.

He guesses for once, he can't blame Neil.

"Problem?" Neil eventually whispers, fixing Aaron with a look which dares him to say anything about Andrew.

The reflexive glare and biting retort fade before they can even manifest. Aaron looks down at his shoes, trying to find words to show Neil he gets it, that he understands.

He's not at that point yet though, and he knows it.

But one day, he hopes to be.

"No," he settles on instead."I don't think there is."

He wonders what it means when Neil's body relaxes, and Aaron's chest fills with warmth.

The next incident doesn't happen for a few days, lulling them both into a fall sense of security. Andrew is back to normal, if not walking a little faster in Neil's direction.

Aaron is too relieved to comment on it.

He sometimes wonders why the universe is out to get him specifically, but he reminds himself that he's somehow managed his way out of every bad situation one way or another.

He figures it's best not to question it, but the anguish is still real.

He's walking with Andrew to the track where cheer practice is held, since Neil and Katelyn told them to meet up there before meeting Nicky for dinner.

It's mandatory on Thursdays now, no matter how many times they try to skip. Nicky finds them.

Bringing Katelyn into things had been a dirty trick, and Aaron mostly blames Neil for proving to everyone it works. Now, Nicky isn't above using his girlfriend against him. On the flipside, Neil has no reason to refuse Nicky's invitation. And like that, Andrew's presence is ensured, at least for an hour.

Aaron wishes he was clever enough to sneak away undetected like his twin.

As he's about to voice his complaints, they reach the top of the hill overlooking the field, and Andrew halts right in front of him.

It's so abrupt, Aaron barely dodges walking right into his brother. It's a good thing too; Andrew (much to Aaron's jealousy) is built like a brick wall. Even without the threat of a bruised nose, touching Andrew from behind is never a good idea for anyone's health.

Aaron yelps, glaring at his twin as he stumbles to the side. "Andrew, what the fuck?"

Andrew doesn't respond, his stare fixed straight ahead and twitching more and more by the second.

Aaron turns his head, trying to see the source of the problem when the wind is knocked out of him. He spins back towards his brother not even a second later, eyes frantic.

"No," he pleads, he's not sure to who. His whisper is the definition of panic. "Andrew no--"

"Shut up," Andrew bites out, setting his jaw. "It doesn't mean anything."

How can you say that? "Seriously?!"

He points a finger towards the field, as if that explains everything. He knows it does.

Down on the green he watches Katelyn and Neil take turns with various cheerleading moves. The cartwheels and tumbling come easy to both of them, their bodies lithe and flexible, and fucking Josten just has to be a fast learner. The striker watches Katelyn intently as she demonstrates a handstand before falling back to a standing position. Neil manages to copy it perfectly, and Katelyn claps in elation next to him.

There's no way Aaron is awake. The worst thing is, Neil looks pretty comfortable, like they've done this before. How had he and Andrew missed all this?

Aaron almost falls to his knees in defeat, and momentarily thinks of paying up to Bee even though there's no actual bet in place. "Hey, if Josten becomes a cheerleader I'm going to break all of Dobson's figurines and then blind myself with the shards."

It gets Andrew's attention at the very least. He looks back over at Aaron, unimpressed. "Don't be so dramatic."

Yeah, I'm not the one who stopped in my tracks...

A beat of silence passes between them as they watch Neil and Katelyn bounce around, carefree and energetic. Something soft lodges itself inside Aaron's chest despite his annoyance, and he notices Andrew's shoulders release some of the pent up tension.

Aaron tries to guess what Andrew is thinking, nothing unusual there. It's an interesting speculation though. Even as just Neil's teammate, Aaron wonders what it means to Andrew to see someone with Neil's history look so content.

It's probably not something their kind is usually afforded; freedom, leisure, contentedness.

With the shared vulnerability sitting in the air between them, Aaron finds room for a step forward. Sighing, he stuffs his hands into his pockets awkwardly. If Andrew is ready to talk about it, so is he. "Do you think...maybe Dobson had a poin--"

"No."

Aaron rolls his eyes. Ok, fine. He guesses it's not time yet after all.

They stand there until Neil and Katelyn finish, taking a water break and checking their phones. The moment passes by heavily, the beginnings of understanding stirring between them whether Andrew likes it or not.

Of course, Andrew can ruin any moment.

Neil starts his cool down stretches, and Andrew's eyes flit up his strong legs, lingering a bit too long.

Aaron sputters, face flushing in realization. "Are...are you seriously checking him out right now? With me right here?!"

Andrew rolls his eyes, finally stalking off towards the field. "Don't worry, I won't pop a boner like you did freshman year."

Something in Aaron dies, remembering all too vividly the first time he saw Katelyn practice. He shoves down the embarrassment, but the agony stays. "That was one time!"

They somehow end up at the same lunch table in the courtyard one afternoon. Aaron knows he keeps labeling these instances as rare and unplanned, but they're starting to become too frequent for him to ignore.

And it's surreal, not being so uptight around his brother, waiting for a fight to break out between them. It's more than he'd ever thought they'd have.

It's nice.

Or it would be, if vermin didn't exist.

Katelyn and Neil are exchanging exercise tips across the table, Katelyn flipping through her phone to show Neil some good stretches for certain cheer moves. Aaron isn't quite sure how they'll be useful in an exy game, but he's not going to stop Neil from burning off any of his annoyingly high energy. Beside Aaron, Andrew reads his newest novel, eyes appraising Neil every now and again.

It's then two guys from the football team walk by, regarding them both with a clear intent. Aaron's hackles are immediately raised; he's never seen these two before, but it's obvious Neil and Katelyn have from how quickly their smiles leave their faces.

Ah, classmates then.

"Trying to be a cheerleader now Josten?" The one whose jacket reads McGuire taunts. "Knew you had no shame."

Katelyn bristles immediately, never one for random hostility. How she gets along with the Foxes at all is a miracle. "Hey--"

Neil stops her protests with a hand to her wrist, and his unimpressed stare is only one indication of his connection to Andrew.

Of course, Neil's back-talking abilities are all his own.

"Is that really the best you can do?" He sighs, inconvenienced by this whole thing. The shift is amazing, his lazy grin and determined stare gone in favor of tiredness. This is obviously not the first time he's dealt with these douchebags, and Aaron is astounded Neil didn't put them in their place already.

Perhaps Wymack's anger management lectures are sticking a little.

"I'm sure you've seen the news articles," Neil continues when the two aren't quick enough to respond, the edges of his blade-like smile slipping now and again. "You think that's what's going to get to me, some jabs about cheerleading? I'm shaking."

Aaron will give it to him, he sure knows how to make someone feel lower than dirt. Neil doesn't bother to make eye contact at all, almost talking through the two lumbering jocks. They would beat Neil into the dirt easily based on size and upper body muscle alone, but no one ever gets away unscathed when Neil is involved.

Douche #2 bristles, face flushing red. "Listen you--"

"Are we done here?" Neil bites out, and Katelyn is smirking at his side. "More of my brain cells die the longer you're in my way.

Katelyn winces, performative. "Is that why I have a headache? It's contagious."

Hearing Katelyn say something not nice is enough to have Aaron's brain stalling, rendering him useless.

McGuire's anger is all for Neil as he growls. "You're going to regret that mouth of yours."

Ha-ha.

In the corner of his eye, Aaron sees Andrew's hand curl around his armbands, right where a knife should be. Threats to Neil aren't things he takes well, but they have an agreement.

Neil can fight his own battles, until he can't.

"All things I've heard before," the striker waves them off dismissively, but there's a new wave of heat in his eyes. "I don't give a fuck what you say about me, it's nothing I haven't heard, and just like you, it'll be forgotten in the blink of an eye."

It's the biggest of insults to people so full of themselves, and McGuire means to lunge when his friend clamps down on his shoulders.

Aaron thinks it's a rare demonstration of defeat, but he should know better.

"C'mon don't punish them too much man," Douche #2 says, fake pity swelling his words. At this point, Katelyn and Neil are back staring at their phones, Neil's awareness only given away by the hand poised to block a hit at a moment's notice. They're the picture of 'I don't care what you say about us,' until they're no longer the targets. "Their lives are hard enough, they're already dating the Minyards."

Neil's posture does a 180 in an instant, the same time Katelyn's untroubled expression wrinkles up in anger. Neil's full attention is on the two now, and they shrink back an inch. Neil's voice is a snarl. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Katelyn isn't far behind, fists clenched on the table. "Yeah, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Now, Aaron knows at this point he should step in. It's not Katelyn's or Neil's fight anymore. It's his name, Andrew's name, being thrown around in the dirt. He can handle himself, can give as much as he gets and then some. But the fury on Katelyn's face has him sitting like a stone in his seat, throat dried up like the brush Neil's glare could set fire to.

Beside him, his twin assesses the scene in his own way, with an expression Aaron cannot read. Goddammit Andrew.

McGuire laughs, like the answer is obvious. He must not have any real experience with Andrew or the rumors about him, because most people wouldn't dare provoke the sleeping lion in Andrew's chest. That, or they're both actually that stupid. "How can you stand these midgets? Do they make you feel good about yourselves because of their shitshow lives? Must've been hard to find someone more messed up than you, Josten."

"Dunno why you'd waste your time with a criminal Katelyn," Douche #2 throws in. "You guys have a thing for that?"

Something in Katelyn snaps, and she shoots up from her seat quickly enough to make Aaron flinch. Andrew regards her for once.

"Aaron is twice the man you'll ever be," she huffs, laughing in disbelief. "You're just jealous he's top of the class and on the Exy team, and Andrew is already being scouted by the pros! Neil--"

And of course, Neil doesn't like to hear anyone sing his praises. He cuts Katelyn's temper off with his own, hand still around her wrist. In the back of his mind, Aaron thinks to ask Katelyn how much she keeps up with Andrew's life, how she sees it as important despite how cruel he was to her, how uncompromising.

The feeling in Aaron's lungs is suffocating.

"They actually have futures, so keep their names out of your idiot mouths," Neil warns, the promise of pain hard to ignore. Andrew's eyes never leave Neil's face. "If Andrew doesn't kill you, I will. He's got nothing to prove, neither does Aaron. You're both pathetic compared to them, so shut up with your cheap blows."

"Totally! Leave our boyfriends alone!" Katelyn crosses her arms, her high ponytail swishing from the abruptness of it. She's huffing, not nearly as composed as Neil, but just as upset. Protective.

Neil laughs beside her, dry and over this conversation. He drags Katelyn back down easily, but never touching her more than he has to. "Don't be too mean to them Katelyn, they're obviously trying to overcompensate for something."

Both jocks flinch, but any kind of response dies on their lips.

"How sad," Katelyn throws in airily, bringing out the full extent of her sorority girl cattiness.

McGuire, red in the face from humiliation, tries to salvage what he can. "Why you--"

"Bye," Neil and Katelyn say at the same time, waving them off in clear dismissal. Their eyes are back to staring at their phones, point made. It's...impressive, but Aaron will never admit it.

He's glad he never got on Katelyn's bad side.

Kicked to the curb, the two idiots slink off with tails between their legs. It's as if someone presses play again on the scene, because the sounds of the courtyard and the muffled conversations of nearby tables fill Aaron's ears again.

He notices Andrew, tense, sit back on the bench. Aaron hadn't seen him move to get up, but he guesses Andrew is torn between chasing after those guys to threaten them on his own and simply staring at Neil like he's some kind of alien. Maybe he is. Andrew's expression is comical, like he's not sure whether to be angry with Neil about trying to protect him when he doesn't need it, or pull him into a kiss.

Aaron would rather not think about the last one, or the innocent spin he's putting on it. If his brother feels anything like he does, there's a lot more than kissing on his mind right now.

Neil looks over at Andrew, a secret passing between them as Neil smiles in another way, softer than Aaron is comfortable with.

He tears his gaze away.

"Anyways, I was thinking we could all go see that new movie this weekend," Katelyn's cheery voice returns, as if nothing happened. She's shoving her phone too close to Neil's face, almost making him cross-eyed.

Neil's confusion, for whatever reason, makes Aaron want to slap him. Maybe because a minute ago he looked ready to gut someone. "I can't, I never saw the first one. Allison told me it's a sequel."

Katelyn gasps, her hand slapping the table. "Oh my god Neil! You have to watch it," she insists, turning on Aaron so fast he yelps. "Aaron, tell him he has to watch it."

Aaron blinks, once at his girlfriend, then once at Neil. "Uh, you have to watch it?"

Neil squints at him, tilting his head at Katelyn even as the words are completely directed at him. "Why do I care what Aaron thinks?"

"Fuck off Josten."

Katelyn only giggles. She's never believed Aaron and Neil disliked each other, and over time, he's starting to think she's right.

Neil is still the worst though. He forces himself to believe it, but he can't ever forget the way Neil just defended him without question. Rude.

"I'll send you the link so you can watch it online, you'll love it I promise. Andrew can watch with you!"

Katelyn knows Neil too well for only knowing him a short time. Neil's face lights up at the suggestion, a silent question directed at Andrew in the next second.

Andrew just sighs, nodding once.

It must fucking make Josten's day, that's how relaxed he looks.

Damn you.

Katelyn giggles, checking her screen for the time. Her smile is replaced by panic. Instinctually, her hand flies out to grab Neil, her manicured hands digging into his jacket. "Oh shoot, we're gonna be late for class!"

She bumps her knee as she stands, shoving her books hastily (along with a half eaten donut) into her backpack. Neil is less in a hurry, but he doesn't seem to mind being dragged by the arm towards the math building. Nerd.

"Bye sweetie," Katelyn throws over her shoulder, blowing him a kiss. There's a blush on her face, no doubt because of the incident from before, and Aaron's answering grin says they're not done talking about it.

He plans to show his appreciation, thoroughly.

"Yeah uh...bye...I love you! A lot." Yes, very cool. He clears his throat, but if anything, his lack of smoothness makes Katelyn beam brighter.

"I love you too!"

"I'll be home soon," Neil says, more subdued but no less of a promise. For a blink, it's like only he and Andrew exist in the world.

"I don't care," Andrew states, but he never breaks eye contact, and even Aaron doesn't believe him. For so long, his brother cared about next to nothing. The difference is impossible not to notice.

Neil must feel the same way.

"Sure you don't," he grins, smug and hinting at things which make Aaron want to puke. Amusement crosses Andrew's face before it's gone, and Aaron rolls his eyes. "See you later."

And like that, they're gone.

The quiet between them is charged, but not volatile like they're used to. There's defeat laced in it, an elephant sitting in the room. It never left probably, not since that session with Dobson.

In his head, Aaron adds another thing to the list: quick tempers.

"Andrew..." He tries again, knowing he doesn't have to explain any more than that as they stare at the spots Katelyn and Neil sat.

The refusal doesn't come as quick this time, he notes with a chill. Ah, they're getting close then.

"No," Andrew sighs finally, but it sounds so much more like resignation this time around.

Andrew and Neil are sitting at the top row of the empty stadium when Neil can't hold back his curiosity anymore.

Andrew senses it immediately, and dammit, he thought he had at least a few more days of peace.

Neil turns to Andrew lazily, but his gaze is anything but. Andrew knows the look, would know it in death. It spells trouble and a million other things he can't stand but which make his insides flip anyways. "Are you ever going to tell me what has you and Aaron acting all weird lately?"

Andrew releases a breath, craving a cigarette. He regards Neil lazily, but he's not looking for anything specific on his junkie's face. Andrew knew Neil had noticed something was on his mind the day after that fateful session with Bee, but he's been giving Andrew time.

Always considerate, always waiting for Andrew to be comfortable enough to broach the subject.

Andrew hates him, hates how much he doesn't.

Neil waits patiently for Andrew to collect his thoughts, not even fidgeting from where their shoulders are pressed together. It's cold out, Andrew wishes they were in bed. Kevin owes him for letting Thea visit.

But, seeing Neil in Andrew's jacket isn't the worst thing he's ever seen.

Andrew taps his fingers against Neil's open palm, but there's no need to find an excuse. He doesn't lie to Neil. "Bee said you and Katelyn were alike during our last session."

He strips the issue down to the bare bones, knowing Neil can read between the lines. Andrew will never admit to being upset by something so dumb, so he lets Neil bring it up for him. It's the same way Andrew won't let Neil get away with acting okay when he's definitely not.

Neil tilts his head, mulling over the words.

"Hm," he hums eventually, and much to Andrew's annoyance, Neil looks contemplative rather than shocked. "That bothers you."

And there it is.

Andrew runs a hand through his hair, his only tell that he's frustrated.

Bothers him?

Nothing is supposed to bother him, but he remembers feeling Bee's words like a bucket of ice water just like Aaron had.

He hates it, because he can't stop thinking about it.

Neil's hand closes around his, a grounding force. Andrew pulls away; he needs to see Neil's face, but he keeps their hands together so Neil knows he didn't overstep. Neil looks so pleased Andrew wants to shove him off his seat.

"It's untrue," he settles on instead, bypassing any kind of confession. Again, it's the simplest, non bullshit answer.

Amusement fills Neil's entire being, but he's not so dumb at least, because he keeps his laugh down.

Neil bites down on his bottom lip, the one Andrew nipped raw this morning in between kisses. "Is it? I think Katelyn and I accomplish the same thing, maybe that's what Bee meant."

Bee said the same thing. For someone who hates therapists so much, Neil sure can sound like them sometimes.

Andrew raises a brow, urging Neil to elaborate. It's payback, in a way. Neil's huff is a small salve for Andrew's annoyance.

Neil has never been gifted with words outside of lies and insults; these moments, where he tries to explain his innermost thoughts and feelings are as entertaining as they are brutal. Andrew often cannot handle them, but like a fool, he never wants to stop listening. The fact Neil's eloquence disappears at times like this is the only thing which helps Andrew keep it together.

Neil squirms in his seat, staring at their hands. "Well, Aaron likes Katelyn because she makes him feel normal, you know?"

Andrew makes no such indication that he knows.

Neil powers on admirably. "And...you like me because..."

Neil pauses, waiting for Andrew to the deny the statement, to counter it with the usual 'I hate you' so Neil can move on.

But Andrew doesn't have the energy for that, hasn't for a while. Neil's eyes widen when he realizes Andrew isn't going to refute anything, and seeing him so slack-jawed puts Andrew's mind in a whirl.

Oh, what is he going to do about this? Is there anything he can do, at this point? Over a year with Neil, and part of him knew he was done for weeks before Baltimore. Perhaps even months.

"I like you because?" Andrew sighs, the words foreign and sickly. This feeling...is uncomfortable, but not in the way a stranger's hands on him would be. It's the kind of squeamishness that comes from experiencing pleasure, experiencing warmth, when before he'd had no exposure to it.

It's new, but he knows Bee would want him to embrace it when he can. Today is not a bad day, so he does. And like everything, the more he says it, the less upsetting it'll be. The less undeserving he'll feel.

Smiling, and not bothering to try and hide it, Neil continues. "You and Aaron have been through a lot. Aaron doesn't like to think about it, he likes to know he's okay and that he can still enjoy a life other people would. Girls, parties, school."

Oh yes, he knows. He used to resent his brother for all of it, each step away from him in direct violation of their deal. Now, he knows Neil is right.

"Katelyn is his reassurance, his reminder of all that."

Aaron's perfect, sheltered cheerleader. Yet, she'd somehow managed to understand his twin despite all the ugliness. Her face stopped being offensive a while ago.

Neil, as if sensing Andrew's train of thought, smirks briefly. Shut it.

But Andrew doesn't mean it.

"But what you...prefer is understanding," Neil says, noticeably preventing himself from saying 'want' instead. Andrew says he does not want, though Neil has never believed him. "You and I don't shy away from the ugly parts of life because we can't..."

'It's all over us.' It goes unsaid. Neil's gaze settles on Andrew's armbands, seeing the scars underneath from memory alone. In the same vein, Andrew reaches up to dig his thumb into Neil's shoulder, exactly where he remembers an old bullet wound to be. Neil's breath catches, a pleased shiver rocking through him.

Andrew really hates Kevin now.

"Reassurance versus understanding. Those are the things you and Aaron value, so...I dunno. It makes sense to me," Neil whispers, shrugging. He does that, when he's not sure of himself, if he's not sure Andrew will accept the answer.

Neil is a fool, and he'll surely be the death of Andrew. He should've thrown him out onto the streets day one, but given the chance now he knows he won't.

He digs his finger harder into the bullet hole, kneading the flesh there as his eyes trace the rest of Neil's body, seeing the slashes littered all over it.

Anger rises in his throat unwarranted, and his grip on Neil's shoulder tightens without forgiveness. Neil doesn't flinch away, like he knows Andrew would never hurt him, and it makes Andrew hate this even more.

Because people have hurt Neil.

Yet he can still look at Andrew like that, he can still do stupid cartwheels and annoy Kevin and shop with Allison on the weekends.

He overcame everything to become Neil Josten, and who else could possibly know a thing about that?

"It does not mean you're the same," he growls out, hand untangling from Neil's to hold his face in his hands. Andrew's thumb slides over the ruined skin under Neil's eyes, where his nerves no longer work. "She does not have these, she'll never..."

She'll never know. She's not like you, no one is like you.

No one else could do this to Andrew, and it's so dangerous, such a weakness.

Andrew trembles from the force it takes to not push Neil away from him.

Neil knows better than to touch back, not when Andrew is giving so much, and Andrew glares at him for that. He's always giving Neil too much, and he doesn't know how to stop, doesn't even think about stopping.

Slowly, Neil reaches forward to grab the sleeve of Andrew's coat, tugging once. "I know that, Andrew I know."

Andrew's trembles subside from Neil's voice alone, and cautiously, Neil skims his fingers along the fabric of Andrew's forearms. His scars. Andrew's grip relaxes.

It's a touch he's familiar with now, it's Neil proving the understanding is real.

Andrew sags into his seat when Neil speaks again, boring into pools of icy blue. Neil never backs down from the intensity of Andrew's stare. "But we both care about you two in the same ways," Neil says, not letting Andrew interrupt despite the flinch of his shoulder. "We know what you like and what you hate and are good at knowing when you're not...okay. If anyone badmouthes you, we're quick to go for the throat. I'm fine, ugh, more than fine having those things in common with Katelyn. You know how I'm different, that's all I need."

'No one else should be able to see me like that.'

It's shockingly vulnerable coming from Neil, not something he affords to anyone outside his family of Foxes.

It voids Andrew's argument. He's still not necessarily on board with the assumption, the comparison of Neil and Katelyn, but he trusts Neil.

He thinks of Aaron then, and wonders if he's reached the same conclusion. Andrew sighs, knowing Bee will have an absolute fucking field day with this. The anger simmers and dies right then, and he resigns himself to the consequences. There's no room for regret.

Maybe it's not the worst thing for him and Aaron to share, having two hot-headed cart-wheelers caring about them.

Andrew grimaces, but pulls Neil flush against him anyways. It might as well be a white flag.

The air is cold, but Andrew can't feel the chill. Neil hums, pleased with the show of affection, and Andrew doesn't have the energy to warn him for it.

Instead, he lets Neil press against him, the weight natural and not threatening. Idly, Neil traces the lines on Andrew's palms, delighted when the touch tickles enough for Andrew to twitch.

It's peaceful in a way Andrew has never known, but is becoming increasingly commonplace now that he acknowledges their 'this.'

Maybe it has something to do with Aaron too, but that's neither here nor there.

Neil raises his head, the question barely out of his mouth before Andrew slots their lips together.

There's no urgency or harshness like there used to be, but Andrew stopped being concerned about that too. He doesn't like to think about how fast he got used to this.

Of course, Neil can never leave well enough alone, that or he just likes to annoy Andrew. It's probably both. When they break apart, Neil's grin is smug. "Although, as far as physical similarities go, you're shit out of luck there."

"Neil."

"What?" Neil asks innocently, ignoring the warning in Andrew's tone. "Is it really so bad to think you and Aaron might have a thing for redheads?"

"I'll push you down these stairs."

"You like me too much," Neil points out, and Andrew can't refute it when he admitted it only minutes before.

Fucking junkie.

"Stop assuming."

"It's the truth," Neil taunts, grin still in place. "Isn't it?"

And oh, fuck Neil Josten to hell and back.

Andrew really, really hates Kevin.

"Yes," he grits out, resisting the urge to punch that look off Neil's face. Instead, he goes for a different approach. His eyes trail up Neil's body from head to toe. The baggy jacket isn't doing Neil many favors, but his legs are still clad in those yoga pants Andrew can't stand, clinging to his muscular legs and narrow hips. Andrew pauses over Neil's collarbones, then the lines of his neck. There's a few bruises there still, courtesy of Andrew.

As if sensing the shift in the air, Neil swallows, and Andrew watches the bob of his throat with interest. "What?"

Andrew shrugs as lazily as he can. "I'm not so sure. She does not have these," he begins to list, grabbing the piercings lining Neil's left ear. Sensitive skin; Andrew hadn't protested when Neil had come home with the new jewelry, Matt's idea. Neil's breathing stutters. "Or this..."

Andrew's hand grazes over his adam's apple, pressing down teasingly.

It's so easy to get Neil worked up, Andrew thinks, a product of the striker's unlimited supply of energy. Andrew never has a problem helping Neil burn it off. Neil is so transfixed, eyes glazing over and breath coming out in harsh pants. He doesn't even notice Andrew's hand ghosting farther down, hovering right over his groin.

Andrew gets so close to touching, his fingers tickling the fabric of Neil's pants. But he doesn't, because he didn't ask. It doesn't dull the effect of his raspy voice on Neil. "Or this--"

Neil's face flushes as expected, red tinting his cheeks as he laughs and grabs Andrew's hand. "Andrew!"

Neil looks around, as if expecting someone to pop out of nowhere to witness their shamelessness, but the stadium is as empty as it was before.

The corners of Andrew's mouth twitch upwards, imperceptible to anyone who isn't Neil. His breath is coming out a little labored now too, especially with Neil stealing glances at him and putting no effort into being subtle. There's only one thing to say. "I hate Kevin."

Neil snorts, agreeing. "How many times have you thought that in the last hour?"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

And Andrew does, because there's no way he can refuse.

When he and Aaron go to their next session with Bee, they exchange a knowing glance. They're not dumb, they already know the subject is going to come up.

Aaron shifts in his seat uncomfortably when Bee sits in front of them, not quite sure how this'll play out. Of course, he's come to terms with Bee's statement from last time. Neil and Katelyn have a lot in common, and maybe it says something about the twins.

Sort of.

Whatever, he already drank plenty over it, and spent hours pushing the thoughts away while pinning Katelyn to her mattress.

It's fine, he's all good. He's accepted it.

That doesn't mean Andrew has, and Aaron eyes his twin nervously. Again, his brother takes a spoon to swirl his cocoa, letting it hit the rim each time. Bastard.

Bee is either oblivious to the tension in the room, or prepared for it. Aaron supposes she'd have to be.

She smiles at them, sweet as ever, and clicks her pen as the hour begins. "Well now, I guess I won't beat around the bush. Have either of you given a thought as to what we discussed last time?"

It's a ticking time bomb in Aaron's mind. The question is for them both, but he feels the spotlight settle on Andrew; the ball is in his court. He can either admit or deny, can condemn the whole session to hell with just a few words.

Andrew stops stirring his drink long enough to look between Aaron and Bee with disinterest. Aaron holds his breath while Andrew takes a sip of his mug, and then his twin just shrugs. "We might have a thing for redheads."

Aaron's jaw drops, and Bee's smile is overjoyed. Andrew looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world, but preferably with Neil.

Aaron is still staring at him stupidly when Bee clears her throat, her smile creasing her skin. "I'm very glad to hear you say that Andrew, thank you. Now, how about we discuss..."

Her words don't reach Aaron's ears quite yet. Andrew turns to him, a silent question, but Aaron only shakes his head, smiling in disbelief.

It's as much as they're going to get from him, they know, but it doesn't make it any less of a confession. It's Andrew acknowledging Bee's theory, accepting parts of it. Accepting Aaron again, as having more in common with him than a lifetime of strife.

Aaron settles back into the couch, limbs loose and chest light, and tries not to smile as much as he wants to.

Later, Katelyn tells Aaron to invite Andrew and Neil over to her dorm to watch that movie she mentioned.

He does, and it no longer feels like a shock when Andrew says yes.

#andreil #all for the game #aftg #andrew minyard #aaron minyard

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