#but this is also Much Worse and uhhhh

[kittyhazelnut]

help I think people are genuinely upset with me for the newest chapter of my fic

#like not even 'i cant believe you've done this!' upset #i wouldn't be surprised if at least a few people stop reading #and it makes me sad bc this is like An Important Part Of The Fic™ #and i was all excited to get to it because its gonna lead to Things™ #and the people who are like "noooo stop itttt' are making me happy because it's supposed to piss ppl off #but it's supposed to make you mad at the avengers not mad at me 😭 #i almost want to go back and change the avengers' reactions to it and maybe people will be less upset #but also it'll make ***** and ****** look worse and i don't want that either #and i always go back and edit chapters a few times before i post them because i finish them a couple weeks before they get posted #but i might like Really Edit the next few to kinda retcon it a little #because idk if people are gonna be okay waiting (number) of chapters until people start peopling #and i dont want them to stop reading right before thingd finally get better 😭😭😭 #but im on The Scene rn and it's like 5000 words already and it's just getting to The Part so if people make it to this chapter and the one #after it i think it will be okay? i just don't want them to give up yet 😭 #i was kinda in the same boat towards the beginning of the fic tho and i think most people stuck through that so maybe...? #but this is also Much Worse and uhhhh #idk man #idk #i think for my own sanity im gonna stop checking my email for ao3 comments obsessively like i usually do #and instead just read them when i get around to answering them #(which is gonna take a few days because i think i have like 80 comments in my inbox rn 😬) #my night's kinda booked (im baking Christmas goodies for my cousins rn) but im hoping i can catch up on most comment tomorrow or wednesday #but honestly my only free day this week is thursday so we'll see how that goes #but anyways I'm currently writing a scene I've been very excited to write for a long time so focusing on the positive! #and hopefully nobody reads it and thinks (redacted) is doing a bad job (redacted)ing because it's not supposed to come off like that 😭

[pussymasterdooku]

another day another medical malpractice…the allie experience!

#this is overdramatic but miss no hands me is having a rough time #and so i was brave and called my doctor to be like Hey It’s Getting Worse…Should Something Be Done Sooner Than Next Week’s MRI? #and she was like. huh. it shouldn’t hurt. maybe you have some kind of disorder. definitely inflammation is your issue #(inflammation is not my issue. reinjury seems to be my issue but i don’t think she is hearing me when i say that) #anyway bloodwork all normal but they BLEW OUT MY FUCKING VEINNNNNN #it feels better today but eva (doesn’t drive) had to drive me home from the lab lol #anyway i also finally got and read my mri analysis from last spring and got a MUCH better idea of my initial injury. doc was SO vague #she’s a reassurer not a problem solver ig. i’ve liked her except uhhhh the part where Things Keep Getting Worse so maybe she is. #not a good doctor lol #at least i’ve been able to work through all sorts of lingering uterus trauma or whatever i guess. silver linings etc #so we deal we deal #wrist saga tag

[panvani]

Review of Dungeon Meshi ep 1: it's better than the VnC anime kupo

#logxx #Knock on wood #BUt yeah uhhhh. Laios' voice actor sucks the direction for the OP sucks the music is ummm questionable #(though the sound direction for VnC was still much worse...) #It does not look nearly as charming as the manga but honestly once I got over that it's Inferior it looks FIne. #Marcille's voice actress was charming #I will keep watching... #Ummmm also I got really really scared once I realized that now a certain type of guy was going to get into Marcille but whatever #Trigger anime

[acekindaneat]

he

(i have so many ideas for mp100 filipino au, i'll post more if u guys like it enough (i will make more regardless))

#hello tumblr #i offer you sketchbook doodles today #also that fanbook has so much content i want to draw them all so badly #+ i saw a twt talking about mp100 filipino au #everything is the same but somehow it's worse bc they're in the Philippines #im filipino btw im dragging my own country <3 #anyways on to the uhhhh tags #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #mob psycho 100 #mp100 fanart #illustration #artists on tumblr #mi art stuff

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

new vision for kinktober: lesbians

#maybe i want to draw lesbians #maybe i love women #maybe i love women and want to draw lesbians #so far i've got uhhhh 3 fully-finished pieces and 2 are L and one is Light and i got a bunch w multiple people that i haven't even inked ye #so so behind #but i have motivation: lesbians #i hope to do some rarepairs #rn i'm doing kiyomisa #i def want to do mikalight #and i'm doing beyondlawlight (is that their name? idk) #remisa is totally happening i just have to remember how to draw rem #def meronia & nearlymellodramattic but i haven't started either yet :/ #thinkin about doing terratio too but ryuk is hard to draw #i also wanted to write a fic for one prompt but it's coming too soon and i am slow at writing fiction #i'll write you a whole 5 page essay in one sitting but fiction? pain and suffering. give me half a year #though tbh i have so much shit to do and i've been feeling very lay-in-the-floor-and-make-decisions-that-make-everything-worse atm #so i probably won't get to do all that i've planned #my head just feels so full rn. too full. i just want to go in the sun and dance around and look at cool bugs #but alas it is nighttime and i am feeling too ugh to dance about and there are no cool bugs #my top list of things that make life better are being withheld i am going to resort to going to sleep for 12 hours i think #after drawing lesbians obvi

[rawliverandgoronspice]

ganondorf in descant: okay sure I snapped at fate a few times but I am also very understandable + tragic so can you really blame me

gerudos in the background: *on the verge of tears, stress-drinking and trying to prevent him from getting murdered every 5 seconds while avoiding literal extinction themselves* sure my king whatever you say

#ganondorf #tloz #descant of greatness #unhallowed vespers #gerudo #the last part of the trilogy will be uhhhh illuminating I think #about some stuff he maay not have focused on nearly as much as he should have maybe :) :) #I llllove some messy dorf + gerudos relationship where both parties kind of made the bed and both parties have to lie in it #I mean #the blame really rests on hylians/the goddesses for making gerudos cosmically lesser #but that doesn't absolve suffocating levels of pressure from one side and brutal abuse of power from the other #and also twinrova sweeping in being all like aww look at you being the greatest thing that ever lived nothing matters but you btw #let's not examine how every single king we served/raised before died performing heroics that ultimately didn't help anyone <3 #or that our vision for what gerudos should be MAY be very biased and outdated and seeping with longing and resentment <3 <3 #me as a fic author is really about finding that fictional culture I really love and think has been wronged by canon #and then go OKAY LET'S FOCUS ON THE FLAWS!!! MAKE THEM WORSE!!! WORSE!!!!!! #and still insist the culture deserves humanity and salvation regardless of the imperfection #I try at least

[vamptastic]

it's kinda weird that when you look at health recommendations for various medical conditions associated with fatness it's always 'just lose 10% of your body weight to see a risk reduction' (so like 20-30 pounds for the average overweight or obese person according to the bmi) but then in day to day medicine there's not really a way of like, removing obesity as a diagnosis on your insurance paperwork for example, even if by a certain standard you've lost enough weight to reduce the risk of health conditions that insurance would be concerned about. if you're an average height weighing 300 pounds and lose 30 pounds, which seems to be the amount that's considered reasonable to lose and maintain if you want to like, reduce your cholesterol, you've gone from morbidly obese to morbidly obese.

#beyond like the more pervasive stigma that i think has been around for a lot of history around fatness #i think the biggest reason behind the current concern over obesity in the US especially is uh. capitalism #there's always this addition about look at how much money these people cost us!! and its like who's us. insurance companies? #idk one one hand it's nice to see that medical science is maybe being kinder now than when i was an overweight 11 year old lmao #like when i was a kid it was hey this index that is not accurate for your age and sex says you need to lose 15 pounds #and then constant badgering about it until i got sick dropped 5 pounds and fit the graph better or whatever #and then i continued to gain weight for the next 7 years until i treated my insulin resistance #but i genuinely got worse and stricter treatment as overweight than morbidly obese because i think now that I'm 250 and an adult #they're like yeah you're just fat we're not going to bother beyond the legally required warnings #also when i was 11 it was uhhhh 2016 so middle of the obama admin when fat kids were the topic du jour #but the way they talked about it was like if I didn't stay under 130 pounds for the rest of my life i might as well drop dead #so seeing hey if you lose like 25 pounds you're good and you don't need to drop over 100 is. Comparatively better #still shitty advice for insulin resistant people IMO but whatever

[deanpinterester]

rewatching the scorch trials for reasons and it's actually appalling how this movie had a budget of $61 million and looked and sounded amazing while allegiant, also a YA dystopian movie with a similar plot of the characters travelling through a lifeless desert wasteland, looked like absolute ass with a budget of $110 million

#uhhhh me #that's. TWICE what scorch trials had #and somehow everything was worse. the writing. the vfx. the general story. the pacing. the cinematography. EveryThing #i'm not going to act like the scorch trials is like the bestest movie out there even tho i do love it a lot #but. objectively. just looking with your eyeballs #you would assume it had a higher budget than allegiant. it doesn't #i think this is why i get kind of 🤔 whenever people bring up budget when it comes to judging a movie/show's quality #there are some directors out there who can make do with small budgets. so many sci fi indie movies look good with even less than 61 mil #it comes down to how you use that budget #it was also wild to me discovering that shadow and bone had like $3 mil per episode #that is TINY. tiny compared to other shows that are so much worse with triple or even quadruple the budget #anyway. idk what i was trying to say here #i have a lot of respect for wes ball's directing and i'm looking forward to his planet of the apes movie i guess

[weenhands]

ummmm...venting *sigh*

#okay so uhhhh #i was doing dishes #and yesterday i kinda told myself i wanna give up trying to be happier again #or at all #because its making my brain go absolutely fucking insane trying to understand why. Im like this at least for ghe past 6 years #i kinda realized today first off im not sad. im not. rlly depressed or anything but ofc sometimes but in General No i am not sad. #i am just. here. and not in an empty way (but ofc i have my episodes sometimes) #i am vibing. #so like im fine right. but i ask myself after i go thru a massive mental cycle of questioning whats going on in my life #“my life is so. empty why is it so empty im bored its quiet nothing is happening”.... #and yeah nothing is happening and. its not sometbing wrong im doing. im not focusing too much on this. im not living life wrong. #its not a routine or a way of life i need to adapt #i think i just had a sudden realization that my life is just so quiet #these past few years have been so quiet and its cuz of me going thru this transitional period and also going from hs to uni #highschool in general i had so many friends and lots of classes. i had robin 2 minutes away. now shes 1 hour away #uni i dont talk to anyone. i hsve like one class per day. workload is harder and i have no friends and worse social anxiety #im also coming back from thr pandemic #so not only is it because of massive changes in everyday life that cause my life to be more. silent #but its also that alot of the stuff i was going thru snd fixating on since grade 11 #stripped me of my hobbies and everyday pleasures #my favorite youtubers and writing poetry everyday. fuck i used to draw so often #the movies and tv shows id watch. everything all of that is gone because i was. Tending to this one extremely sad and heartbreaking goal #which i dnt wanna discuss #butnim glad its over now. #so now im left in this new period of my lifr where im an adult and life is more empty and less.....On the run. and i lost everything #outside of me that made me happy #so maybe i do go thru depressive episodes and stuff but in a general sense. these r why my life is rhe way that it is i thought i was doing #something wrong for so long but im not #i used to wake up at 6am everyday. now i wake up later most days... #i think i just need to ask myself. do i lean into this silence or change it. Whatever.

[drown-with-me]

Am I late for Munday? Do I even have the right to post anything after being absent for five months?

#ooc #the mun #munday #so much has happened oh boy where do i even fucking begin #so we moved houses #i worked at a call center for exactly one month before deciding that it's worse than drinking literal piss so i quit #i gained a very close friend whom i will die for #uhhhh- #i'm doing ketamine to treat my depression #i'm fucking ✨ broke ✨ #i'm still addicted to caffeine #still a heavy smoker #the drug abuse didn't go anywhere either #oh yeah and the fridge broke #also yes i AM wearing hello kitty pajamas what of it

[firelord-frowny]

hella fucking wild that covid is basically a permanent thing now that people are always gonna be dying from and i sincerely hope that every single republican politician who bent over backwards to avoid doing even one single thing to try to minimize the impact of this disease drops dead in an untimely fashion. 

#which i mean i feel the same way about anyyyyyyyy politician who helped facilitate mass death in the plague republican or not #but lets be real lmfao it was overwhelmingly republicans #imagine how much more generally Nice the entire world would be if everyone who went out of their way to make covid worse just died lmao #it would cover soooooooooo many other Terrible Things #get rid of all the people who made covid worse and you also happen to be getting rid of uhhhh #racists and antisemites and homophobes and transphobes and misogynists and classists and fascists #obviously it's not gonna cover them allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll but #the overlap is real

[executiveibex]

and now, joining the honored pantheon of hilarious F@tT player line fuck-ups such as "Operant Valence is died" on the main feed...... please give a hearty welcome to "how long have you been in cults?"

#mine #f@tt liveblogging #friends at the table #f@tt spoilers #f@tt humor #the road to palisade #i actually had work to do at work last night so i WAS making pretty good progress on this episode at first! #but then i had to stop for the night because i was in TEARS with the effort of trying not to HOWL at this in my cubicle #''absolutely RANCID small talk''........ jack TRULY summed it up best #everyone really wound up in Situations this episode but mustard TRULY stepped in it in the most hilarious way #between this and her trying to dance around the fact she made a deal with arbitrage when general mourning came calling #GOD. we haven't had a disaster party like this in a while and i'm LIVING for it #real talk though i would NOT be surprised if devotion winds up as the divine big bad of palisade #sapping people of their life force the more energy they put in is. uhhhh not dissimilar from rigour's whole workaholism deal! #i'm scared! but also very excited for how much worse things will PROBABLY get on the brink!

[asbestos-11]

the more i read abt the whole sparkle debacle the more i wish to put my head thru the wall.

i mean this is not to say that using slurs is ok by any means and that hyv does have a history of racist depictions and whatnot.

but like atp there's bigger problems in the world than a fictional character saying bad words in a game and you don't need to make it into a mountain out of a mole hill. pač it's shitty to have included it and hyv should be scrutinized for it, but it's not a moral failing to like a character that is purposefully made to be evil.

but like i'm not rroma so who am i to speak on what is offensive to them and what isn't.

#fei's talking corner #maybe it's just this whole snowflake culture wherein everything has to be black and white and any nuance is lost 6ft underground #one can like a character that is evil/ morally bankrupt without it being a sign of someone being devoid of morals #like yeah be critical about the character but also at the end of the day they're a fictional character who does not influence our world #as much as a real person would #also i'm just genuinely against policing language too much because at the end of the day censorship is a real thing #that is not to say i endorse people using slurs and hateful language #uhhhh anyways i think i have spiraled away from what i was trying to say originally but yeahhhh #ampak ja. i'm just genuinely so done with this fandom esp on the clock app bcs my god you lot are worse than tumblrinas in 2015/2016

[crowleystolemyshoes]

so I'm 98% sure I don't have hEDS but I definitely have some hypermobility thing going on. but it's not a problem at all except in my ankles, knees, and finger joints?? most of my joints are hypermobile but those are the only ones that hurt or swell consistently enough to be a concern. I did some research and I definitely have some instability in both my kneecaps, and I think I'm subluxing them somewhat regularly, but the symptoms I have when I push them back are so mild (just pain, swelling, and that feeling like the joint is full of cotton--no one I've ever talked to about it other than my arthritic fiancé got that last one) that I'm not really sure? but then sometimes they just give out and I can't put any weight on them for an hour or two and I'm just confused?

#uhujhhhhhh I should probably see a doctor #but after the whole itchy legs circulation fiasco I just CAN'T find it in me to try #five years. that bullshit took #I also have fibro and I'm half convinced it's just from that but this shit is comorbid and I've already #got that and my circulation issues and the fucking. whatever's up with my nerves because something's wrong with the #feeling in my fingers and toes #and has been since I was maybe eleven #my chronic illnesses have gotten so much worse so rapidly the past two years #and I kinda want them to develop more distinct symptoms so I can actually figure out what this is and how the fuck I can manage it #but also.... ooooh I'm so scared at how bad my chronic pain is gonna be when I'm middle aged or elderly #but uhhhh if the thing I described w my knees sounds familiar please share your stories? #vent tag

[aux-array]

okay google. how do i help my boyfriend start fronting again

#theres NO REASON for him to be dormant! #he LIKES fronting! #hes been mostly gone since uhhhh may? #we visited our parents and after that he was tired and had to rest after being full protector mode #and hes come back a few times since then! and each time we think hes back and hes gonna be cohost with me again! #and he was very clear that thats what he WANTS! #also hes our only protector besides x! i cant do this shit without him! #and x is a *very* different type of protector #x protects us by not feeling emotions #felix protects us in a much more active way and we are worse off without him!!! #also i just really really miss him :( #🐇.txt

[jeezypetes]

dark tower fan. stanning you rn o7

Dark tower fans PLEASE interact 😭 I’m not really a fandom person but something about this series tickles me so much and i have so much to say about it. There’s so much great stuff (genre blending epic fantasy with horror and American western elements!!!!) but also such a high percentage of stupid garbage that it makes me want to Fix It and that’s why I’m soooo excited for the mike flanagan show and currently relistening to all the audiobooks. Well actually I might skip Song of Susanna this time lmfao if you know you know

#its like the classic stephen king thing where he produces SO MUCH MATERIAL and most of it is SO GOOD but then there’s enough garbage to make #me go crazy. i love the dark tower series so much I’m so excited for and anxious about the series adaptation #it literally can’t be worse than the movie unless they like. remade the same movie with the same script and worse actors bc i thought idris #elba and matthew mconaghey were very well cast #also i LOVE susanna she has soooo much potential as a character its such a failure of the series that the arc sk gave her was like a game i #would make up as i played with barbies like NO consideration of her inner life or history or anything just like uhhhh civil rights activist #barbie gets demon pregnant and legs while boys do some time travel real estate investment fraud