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samasmith23 · 5 months

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Evangelion: You Can (Not) Marathon — (Part 13)

Neon Genesis Evangelion, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER”

Continuing my Evangelion re-watch marathon with NGE, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER.” For my thoughts on the previous episode, click the link to the post below:

Happy New Year everyone! Yeah… it’s been quite a while since I posted my last episode analysis of Evangelion, hasn’t it? The last time I discussed an episode was back in August 2023, as I had to temporarily postpone this marathon due to being preoccupied with Graduate School classes. But since I’m currently on Winter Break in-between semesters and I’ve only got one more class to complete before I finally get my Master’s degree in History of Ideas, I thought it was finally time to resume my marathon of every episode and movie from the EVA franchise! So with all of that out of the way, let's dig into the 13th episode of NGE!

Aww! I love how right off the bat this episode reiterates the deep-seated admiration that one of the three main NERV staff members, Maya Ibuki, holds for the organization’s head scientist, Ritsuko Akagi. Specifically, the episode opens in Central Dogma where Ritsuko & Maya are conducting a routine system’s check-up on the facility’s advanced supercomputer, the MAGI system. Not only does Ritsuko complement the speed at which Maya enters the code sequences into the database, to which Maya replies, “Of course. Did I have any choice with you as my boss,” but Maya can’t help but stare in awe at her screen when Ritsuko types in a more rapid command-function, stating to herself, “Wow… she is the master…”

In addition to emphasizing Ritsuko’s skill and proficiency as a computer programmer, which serves as a central focus for the episode, this opening scene also subtly hints through the former’s interaction with Maya that the latter might view her relationship with Ritsuko in a much higher regard than just a mere master-&-apprentice bond. Specifically, I along with a lot of other EVA fans interpret Maya as a lesbian who’s secretly in love with Ritsuko.

The subject of queer-coding in Evangelion will become of greater significance when I eventually get around to discussing the character of Kaworu Nagisa in Episode 24, but this interaction along with several other scenes from future episodes of the series heavily infer that Maya secretly possesses romantic feelings for Ritsuko based on her dialogue and mannerisms when interacting with her. Although Maya’s attraction seems to be one-sided since it will later revealed that Ritsuko is sleeping with her boss Gendo Ikari in a failed effort to try and emotionally connect with her dead mother (which, again… GROSS…).

But while it would also be inappropriate for Ritsuko to instead get together with Maya due to the mentor/student power imbalance in their relationship, I can’t help but feel that Ritsuko would be in a much happier and healthier place in life if she also came out as gay and dumped the bastard Gendo for a female love interest. Heck, I’d personally ship Ritsuko with Misato! considering that the two are both best friends who attended university together, plus there was also some potential queer-coding in that brief moment of a swimsuit-clad Ritsuko suggestively bumping into Misato back in Episode 1!

One last aspect of Maya’s queer-coding that I’ll briefly elaborate on here is that many fans have pointed out that her character design heavily resembles that of the main protagonist, Shinji Ikari, further visually coding Shinji as potentially being a trans-femme egg! I absolutely love it!

Lol! As soon as I start talking about shipping Ritsuko & Misato, the latter then shows up to see if Ritsuko’s done with the MAGI’s system check-up. As Bane from The Dark Knight Rises once famously stated:

Alright, if I recall this is the first time the viewer is provided a visual diagram of the MAGI and how it specifically functions. While the MAGI has been referenced in passing throughout previous episodes, where it was portrayed as an advanced supercomputer that assists in and analyzes the effectiveness of battle strategies for combatting the Angels, as well as serves as the de-facto governing body for Tokyo-3 in place of an ACTUAL human mayor (who’s stated in Episode 11 to be a simple figure-head), it is here in Episode 13 that we first get a real glimpse of exactly how the MAGI operates.

According to the monitor diagram, the MAGI is divided into three separate systems that function in conjunction with each other, and are distinguished by the names “Melchior 1,” “Balthasar 2,” and “Casper 3.”

The names for the MAGI system themselves serve as yet another Biblical reference, specifically to the Three Wise Men from the Book of Matthew. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, “Magi, in Christian tradition, the noble pilgrims ‘from the East’ who followed a miraculous guiding star to Bethlehem, where they paid homage to the infant Jesus as king of the Jews (Matthew 2:1–12)… Eastern tradition sets the number of Magi at 12, but Western tradition sets their number at three, probably based on the three gifts of ‘gold, frankincense, and myrrh’ (Matthew 2:11) presented to the infant… In about the 8th century, the names of three Magi—Bithisarea, Melchior, and Gathaspa—appear in a chronicle known as the Excerpta Latina Barbari. They have become known most commonly as Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar (or Casper).”

Furthermore, the episode’s opening also alludes to the later twist that the MAGI is far more than simply just a set of 3 advanced supercomputers. Specifically, following the routine system check-up the scene immediately transitions to a weary Ritsuko alone in the bathroom where she looks at her reflection and states, “Everything checked out. As usual, Mother’s in good shape, but… is it just me getting older?”

Not only does Ritsuko’s line effectively foreshadow that her late mother, Dr. Naoko Akagi, was the MAGI’s original inventor, but also the revelation that Naoko digitized her own consciousness into the system itself.

Also, that final line of Ritsuko’s, “Is it just me getting older?” Not only does this line indicate that Ritsuko is potentially experiencing a mid-life crisis, but it is also reflective of the emptiness that she feels due to her existence being solely defined by her association with the inventions of her late mother whom it later revealed that she had a strained relationship with due to the latter career-oriented pursuits as a world-renowned scientist. Here, Hideaki Anno & crew effectively communicates through simple visuals and dialogue that Ritusko is burdened by her desire to understand and connect with her mother by routinely tending to her living legacy.

Also also, another fan online pointed this out, but these shots of Ritsuko leaning at the sink and staring at her reflection directly parallel those of Asuka later on in Episode 22, who similarly pilots her EVA Unit-02 due to being haunted by the specter of her own emotionally neglectful mother. Once again, Anno truly is a master of being able to convey so much information and character nuance through subtle visuals alone!

Lol! As hilarious as it is to listen to Asuka’s complaints about having to completely undress alongside Shinji & Rei as they enter a decontamination for a special harmonics synchronization test with their respective EVAs, I do legitimately love how the animators here utilize the three pilots’ silhouetted postures (only the character’s faces & feet are left unobscured) behind the glass to distinguish each character’s unique personality traits!

Despite Asuka’s justified protestations of being required to strip down for this test, we see that she’s standing proud and firm with both hands on her hips, which is contrasted against the frustrated expression on her face, conveying how Asuka utilizes her boastful pride as a facade to mask her insecurities in front of others. In stark contrast to Asuka, Shinji is unable to hide his embarrassment and anxiety, since in addition to having a nervous expression he’s placing both his hands over his crotch to desperately preserve his modesty, which is reflective of the character’s fears of opening himself up to others. Finally, Rei is once again presented as the neutral middle-ground to Shinji & Asuka’s opposing ends of the emotional spectrum, as she simply gives a blank deadpanned expression while standing completely still in a non-exaggerated manner, highlighting her struggles to emotionally connect with herself and others.

Also, I’m totally with Asuka here! I sincerely hope that Ritsuko is telling the truth when she reassures Asuka on the intercom that the security cameras have their monitors temporarily shut off as the pilots exit their decontamination showers to enter their EVAs. At least… that’s what I’m hoping the red light suddenly appearing on the camera following the two’s conversation…

Still, however, I am somewhat surprised that the exit hallway lacks any guard railing between the shower doors to protect the pilot’s modesty from each other. I know that I would personally want such a feature, especially as someone who’s always HATED and refused to utilize open-door public shower facilities! UGH! That’s always been a major pet peeve of mine!

Whew… at least we as viewers can breathe a sigh of relief in the fact that Ritsuko was at least telling the truth about the naked pilot’s visuals being obscured from the test operator’s computer screens since they’re only presented as green silhouettes inside of their Entry-Plugs. Although Shinji seems to be the only one among the trio wearing a safety belt inside. Weird…

So I’m rather curious as to what the purpose of this specific harmonics test is exactly. Like, I understand the idea that the reason Ritsuko had Shinji, Rei & Asuka undergo decontamination and sit inside their Entry Plugs completely naked was so that she could determine how well each pilot synchronizes with their respective EVA Units without any foreign contamination (which feels like a callback to Episode 8 when Asuka forced Shinji to sit inside the Entry-Plug with her and she initially experienced a program error due to Shinji’s Japanese thought patterns interfering with her Unit being pre-conditioned for her native German language).

But what’s NERV’s specific end goal here? To simply see whether or not the pilots can better synchronize with their Units without the presence of their usual plug-suits?

While the exact answer is left incredibly vague and unanswered, I personally subscribe to a fan theory that I encountered online a while back (although I can’t remember where it originated from), but I believe that Ritsuko and NERV intend to utilize the data collected from each pilot’s unfiltered and decontaminated synch-ratios from this test as part of the dreaded Dummy-Plug system program in later episodes, since those specific Entry-Plugs are stated to perfectly imitate the thought-patterns of a pilot to trick an EVA-Unit to engage in an auto-pilot function even without the presence of an actual human pilot inside the plug.

Although... this theory does have some holes in it since it’s also later implied that NERV’s Dummy Plug system is specifically derived from the thought patterns of dozens of Rei clones (and that SEELE utilizes her counterpart Kaworu for the Dummy Plugs for the Mass-Production Evangelions in The End of Evangelion).

Also, I just realized something else! The fact that Shinji, Asuka & Rei are sitting inside of their Entry-Plugs naked (which is somewhat akin to a fetal position), and that the Entry-Plugs themselves are symbolically reflective of a mother’s womb due to the EVA-Units containing the souls of their dead mother’s (at least for Shinji & Asuka’s respective units…), and that the pilots are also submerged in Liquid LCL while inside of their Entry-Plugs, and LCL is the primordial soup that humanity was originally birthed from by the Seed of Life known as Lilith…

Geez, this scene alone takes all of the pre-existing Freudian imagery that EVA is known for, and pumps it up on steroids!

Moving on from that though, we get more foreshadowing of the true nature of the MAGI when Ritsuko coldly remarks, “You can sure feel their creator’s original personality can you,” in response to the 3 supercomputers suddenly processing a mysterious dilemma.

In addition to Ritsuko officially confirming to Misato (and by extension, the audience) that her mother Naoko was the original inventor of the MAGI system, we also get to see the initial signs of cracks beginning to form in Misato & Ritsuko’s friendship. Despite Misato’s high-ranking status as a NERV military officer and her promotion to Major in the last episode, it is evident that Misato is still in the dark concerning NERV’s more intimate secrets. While Ritsuko is willing to chastize Misato’s ignorance regarding the MAGI system due to the former’s personal connections with the classified hardware, Misato will grow increasingly distrustful of the other secrets Ritsuko is guarding for Gendo and will be inspired by her lover Kaji to try and unravel the conspiracy behind NERV.

Also, Misato’s annoyed retort, “That’s because unlike me, you never talk about yourself Ritsuko,” feels intentionally hypocritical on Anno’s part since Misato frequently attempts to hide specific aspects of her personality from others like Shinji due to her internal Hedgehog’s Dilemma. Although this exchange does convey that in contrast to Misato’s more emotionally extroverted persona, Ritsuko’s personality is more introverted, presenting herself more coldly and rationally due to her nature as a scientist.

I love the early ominous visual representations of the “dilemma” that the MAGI is responding to. First in the form of a visual graph up in Central Dogma’s mainframe, which Aoba & Fuyutsuki describe as “corrosion of the 87th protein wall” that they attribute to recently-installed parts to the system, as well as what appears to be a purple acidic burn-mark on the walls of one of NERV HQ’s tunnels.

Not only does this help provide initial intrigue and suspense for the viewer concerning this mysterious “dilemma,” but Fuyutsuki & Aoba’s dialogue debating the potential causes of the system error in highly-detailed technological detail reminds me of why I’ve always nicknamed this, “the Techno-Babble episode” of NGE!

Trust me when I say, there is going to be so much techno-babble in this episode alone that it would make Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation blush!

Also… that corrosion is creepy as all heck!

Lol! Both Ritsuko & Fuyutsuki make the exact same comment, “Ikari would chew my ass off,” in response to letting the corrosion interfere with their synchronization test! It’s like the old saying goes: “Two great minds truly think alike!”

Wait a minute… so the pilot’s EVA-Units are in their usual holding cages during this test? Then what exactly is that fleshy unarmored EVA-arm submerged in water and connected to half-a-dozen wires outside the window of Ritsuko’s control room supposed to be? Is it part of Rei’s EVA Unit-00 but on the opposite side of the wall-locks, or something else entirely? Either way, the fact that Ritsuko tells specifically Rei to move her arm in conjunction with that submerged severed arm does seem to suggest my earlier theory that this test is actually somehow connected to the Dummy Plug system…

Oh crap! Glowing red sparks appearing on the purple corrosive wall stain as soon as Rei synchronizes with the submerged EVA arm! Definitely not unusual and foreboding in the slightest! Not at all!

I’ve gotta say, I’m really enjoying the nice change of pace this episode takes in regards to its action scenes and building suspense! Instead of the usual strategic planning and bombastic Mecha vs. Kaju fights, Episode 13 takes full advantage of its focus on computer science by having Ritsuko utilize her technological expertise to try and quickly quarantine and prevent the spread of the corrosion of the 87th protein wall into the testing chambers.

Despite initially seeming inherently less exciting on the surface, from a cinematography and editing perspective the flow of action in this scene feels incredibly intense and suspenseful due to the fast pace and quick cuts between the various computer screen alerts & graphs, Ritsuko’s technical commands, and the closing of doors & pipes to prevent the spreading of the corrosion! Anno & GAINAX certainly know how to make even the seemingly mundane incredibly captivating from an action standpoint! That takes incredible talent!

Also, I don’t know why but I FREAKING love the design of those water drones that Ritsuko deploys into the testing pool!

Oh, I see now! The pilot’s Entry-Plugs are actually connected to 3 full-flesh unarmored EVA bodies inside the testing pool! I just couldn’t tell at first due to the previous camera angles of the pool framing the scene from outside the control room window, which combined with the darkly lit underwater conditions helped obscure the other two EVA-bodies! Also, the fact that the heads are missing and are replaced with wires (which I’m assuming are connected to each pilot’s main respective units…), aided in my confusion in thinking that these were just arms.

My mistake! Lol!

But being serious again, all that tension built up with Ritsuko’s technical commands & counters comes to a roaring head as the mysterious corrosion finally reaches the testing pool and causes the arm of Rei’s EVA-body to move against its will and try and breach the window of the control room (mirroring the flashback EVA Unit-00’s failed test in Episode 5)!

Holy FREAKING Crap! Even though Ritsuko & Misato fortunately had the arm of Rei’s EVA severed before it could break the glass and forcibly ejected the pilot’s Entry-Plugs out of the pool, the worst possible case scenario is confirmed when the drones fire their lasers at the mysterious corrosive force, only for said force to suddenly repel their attacks with an AT Field! That’s right, NERV HQ has just been infiltrated by the 11th Angel, Ireul!

Out of all the Angels presented in the series so far, Ireul is easily one of the most distinctively unique due to its lack of a consistent physical form, being primarily represented in the form of either a corrosive substance on the wall or as a pixilated glow on the test EVA’s.

Speaking of which, dang is the animation of Ireul infecting and possessing the arm of one of the other test EVAs so FREAKING cool! It has this unique red-digitized effect to it! I can’t even begin to imagine how tricky it must have been for GAINAX to animate the hand-drawn frames for the Ireul infection scenes! I sincerely hope that they were paid well for their work…

Also, regarding this specific Angel’s name, according to Wikipedia, “Iruel (イロウル, Irouru), also known as Yroul, Yrouel and Ireul, [is referred to] n religious texts as the angel of fear.” In addition to Episode 13’s primary scriptwriter, Mitsuo Iso, stating that the primary inspiration for Ireul’s abstract design was to showcase “a battle against an invisible enemy,” the historical theological interpretations of Ireul as the “Angel of Terror” were noted by ThingsAnime blog writer Will Raus in his article Neon Genesis — An Angelic Vision, who stated that, “the episode featuring Ireul is marked by panic from the lab techs that operate the MAGI.”

I’m curious as to what exactly was going through Ritsuko’s head as she just coldly stared at Ireul breaking the glass while the rest of the staff fled the control room. Was she merely so distracted by her scientific curiosity that she completely neglected her own safety? Or is this indicative of Ritsuko having suicidal ideation?

Knowing what I know occurs later in Episode 23, I have a strong feeling it’s the latter option, especially since Misato is similarly the one here to try and snap out of her trance before Ireul can flood the room.

The sheer amount of scenes that directly mirror each other in regards to subtle details in animation & character framing that I’m noticing upon rewatch is honestly FREAKING phenomenal! Anno certainly took a page from George Lucas’ playbook as a director!

Oh boy, we’re getting some more foreshadowing to the conflict between Gendo & SEELE since immediately after getting off the phone with another “Sound-Only” screen, he orders the rest of the staff to lie about the presence of an Angel inside of NERV HQ being just “an error in the alarm system.”

Lol! It looks like the computer diagrams confirmed my fan theory regarding the purpose of the harmonics test, since the 3 EVA bodies inside of the pool, or “Pribnow Box” are labeled as “Dummy 1-3!”

Oh crap! More foreshadowing in the form of Fuytsuki & Gendo whispering to each other that Ireul’s contamination of the systems is spreading “too close to Adam.”

Double crap! Even more foreshadowing in the form of Gendo prioritizing the safety of Unit-01 above that of Units 00 & 02 when ordering them to be launched without the pilots to prevent them from being infected by Ireul!

Triple crap! The foreshadowing just keeps on going as we now see Kaji randomly exiting an elevator inside of the tunnel to Central Dogma directly below Ireul’s contamination zone! Continuing to play the double/triple agent game I’m guessing!

Leave it to Fuyutsuki to ask the million-dollar question on everyone’s mind: “How exactly can you fight an Angel without an Evangelion?”

Man do I love just how unapologetically science-oriented and techno-babble-heavy this particular episode of EVA is! It’s honestly pretty cool watching Ritsuko and the rest of the NERV staff’s attempts to try and counter Ireul’s spread by increasing the ozone levels in the heavy water boundary of the testing pool, only for Ireul to rapidly adapt and increase its resistance to ozone before evolving into an organic electronic life form capable of hacking its presence into NERV’s computer files to infiltrate the MAGI system!

While a lot of the technical and computer programming terms completely fly over my head and are borderline gibberish to me, the scene itself is so tightly edited and quickly paced that it’s NEVER boring and the natural flow of dialogue makes the increasing threat of the Angel clear to the viewer even if they’re not computer scientists themselves! That takes a lot of skill from a writing & and directing standpoint!

Also, Shiro Sagisu’s soundtrack further elevates the tension in this scene in near-perfect symbiosis with the editing and dialogue! The sequence of musical scores from “The Day Tokyo-3 Stood Still,” to “Harbinger of Tragedy,” to “The Beast” really serve to gradually increase the suspense and fear derived from this scene, even though all we’re doing is basically looking at computer screens & graphs & listening to techno-babble! I love it!

Also also, Ritsuko provides the first direct indication of the Angel’s ability to repeatedly evolve and adapt to its surroundings to actively counter NERV’s defenses to try and reach “Adam” in Terminal Dogma! While the Angel’s environmental adaptation capabilities were already established with Sandalphon from Episode 10 being born in the heart of a magma chamber, here we get our first glimpse of the Angel’s evolving intelligence as Ireul learns how to hack the MAGI system to utilize NERV’s own supercomputers as a weapon against them!

The sheer speed at which Ireul completely infects Melchior which it then utilizes to try and hack into Balthasar next before Ritsuko enters a fail-safe code-sequence to halt the Angel’s spread for 2-hours next is legitimately FREAKING terrifying!

Fuyutsuki’s words, “The MAGI have become our enemy,” are even made more disturbing by the panning shot showing the 3 giant red boxes that serve the supercomputer mainframe directly below Central Dogma’s main command deck, emphasizing that the Angel is directly under NERV’s feet.

As Kakashi once famously told Sasuke during the survival exercise in Naruto, an attack from below is the most dangerous since it’s the least expected!

Also, the way Ritsuko describes Ireul as having evolved into a nano-machine-esque living computer virus, now all I can think of is the Ms. Marvel villain Doc.X, who’s also a sentient computer virus!

I love how Ritsuko immediately and harshly rejects Misato’s recommendation to Gendo that they self-destruct the MAGI system to destroy Ireul.

While Ritsuko justifies this by countering to Misato that “destroying the MAGI means destroying headquarters itself,” it’s clear that Ritsuko is desperately trying to preserve some piece of her mother’s legacy, still desperately struggling to understand the individual who prioritized her roles as a scientist & a woman over her role as a mother.

I am totally NOT foreshadowing anything with my specific word choice of “scientist, woman & mother!” NOT at all! Lol!

The transition from Misato’s exasperated anger towards Ritsuko’s stubbornness to calm yet confused questioning of the latter’s refusal to “share the responsibility” or “trust someone else” is honestly quite profound. You truly get the sense that Misato is desperately trying to understand her friend’s inability to rely on the assistance of others. It effectively illustrates Misato’s self-awareness concerning the Hedgehog’s Dilemma, as she’s able to recognize and wants to help others who are struggling from a similar place as herself. Whether it be Shinji and now Ritsuko.

Also, I can’t help but appreciate the irony of the fact that Ritsuko was the one who first informed Misato of the Hedgehog’s Dilemma back in Episode 3, but is now clearly shown to be struggling with her own version of said dilemma as she’s emotionally closing herself off from others in a misguided effort to connect with her dead mother, just like Misato does with her dead father.

Despite their contrasting personalities, Misato & Ritsuko truly are very similar to each other. It’s no wonder the two formed such a close friendship. This makes the gradual deterioration of their trust in each other as the series all the more tragic…

Alright, we finally get a run-down of Ritsuko’s plan to defeat Ireul! Essentially, Ritsuko intends to utilize the Angel’s evolutionary survival mechanisms against itself by reprogramming the final remaining MAGI supercomputer, Casper, with a program designed to regress Ireul’s evolution and force it to self-destruct within the system.

Just like all of the previous strategies portrayed so far in EVA, there are considerable risks involved since not only can Ireul be exposed to said program by intentionally deactivating the firewalls preventing it from hacking into Casper, but Ritsuko needs to introduce her counter-program into Casper’s mainframe much faster than it will take the Angel to fully infect the system. And once again, I think this strategy is FREAKING brilliant due to how insane and risky it is!

It is also worth noting that Ritsuko’s plan to introduce a counter program into the MAGI that will force the Angelic computer virus to delete itself is heavily reminiscent of the scientific phenomenon known as Apoptosis, which Susan Elmore of the National Library of Medicine refers to as, “the process of programmed cell death, or apoptosis, is generally characterized by distinct morphological characteristics and energy-dependent biochemical mechanisms.”

You can certainly tell that Anno & crew engaged in a lot of scientific research for this specific episode!

Also, I can’t help but notice the fact that it is the Casper supercomputer that is the one that will inevitably result in Ireul’s self-destruction. I’m skipping ahead a little, but it will later be revealed at the end of the episode that Naoko designed each of the MAGI supercomputers to embody the three main aspects of her identity, those being herself as a scientist, a mother, and a woman respectively. Furthermore, it will later be revealed that Naoko was not only having an affair with Gendo which led to her committing (which her daughter is also now engaging in), but that Casper is the supercomputer which specifically reflects Naoko’s identity as a woman, or more accurately a lover.

So basically, Ritsuko is channeling both her mother and her own self-destructive sexual characteristics to kill the 11th Angel.

Honestly, this feels incredibly reminiscent of one of the core themes that will become increasingly apparent as the series progresses: the Freudian dichotomy between sex & death.

Dang! I love the physical design of the MAGI mainframes, which similar to the Evangelions are a hybrid of mechanical & organic components. Not only do all the wires and pipes appear to have a blood-like red texture to them, but they’re arranged in a pattern that is heavily reminiscent of a brain. An association that is made even more visibly apparent through the central core of Casper being what appears to be literal brain matter and tissue!

Given that Naoko transferred pieces of her consciousness into the MAGI, combined with the future twist of Rei being a clone of Shinji’s mother Yui Ikari, I feel like this is heavily implying that Naoko cloned her own brain matter to make these computers operate. If so, that’s honestly kinda disturbing…

Lol! Not only do we get more hints of Maya’s romantic attraction towards Ritsuko through her fan-girl reactions to the hundreds of the original developer’s notes taped all across the interior walls of Casper, but we also see the kanji, “Ikari, you jerk,”angrily scribbled across one of the pipes!

I’m not sure if it was Naoko or Ritsuko who wrote that specific note, but either way, I’m all for insulting that bastard Gendo!

I love the little bit of Ritsuko smiling, “Thanks Mom, with your help we can make it,” as she begins crawling into Casper’s interiors. It implies that she seemingly does care about & and misses Naoko, however much she tries to deny it…

Also, the imagery of Ritsuko crawling inside of the computer that’s essentially her mother is once again incredibly Freudian, reflective of how the EVA-pilot’s Entry-Plugs metaphorically represent a return to the womb. Or in Ritsuko’s case with the MAGI, a return to the brain?

Aww… Misato can’t help but reminisce on her and Ritsuko’s college days together…

I am curious though as to what specific memories mirrored their current situation of doing engineering and programming work inside of a tightly cramped space…

Interesting! Not only does Ritsuko disclose to Misato that the MAGI utilized a personality transplant system that transferred Naoko’s consciousness into the system, but that the exact same transference system was utilized for the Evangelions, once again foreshadowing that the souls of Shinji & Asuka’s dead mothers inhabit their respective EVA Units!

Also, it’s here that Ritsuko truly reveals her complicated feelings towards her mother. When Misato questions whether Ritsuko’s desire to protect the MAGI is motivated by love for her mother, Ritsuko instead states that in actuality she “never really liked [her] mother,” and that “[her] decision was that of a scientist.”

Does this imply that Ritsuko’s efforts to try and understand her late mother, whether it be through maintaining & protecting the MAGI or sleeping with Gendo (again… EWWW!!!), are motivated solely by scientific personality? That Ritsuko is actively attempting to reject the womanly side of her mother in favor of the scientific side? Or is Ritsuko lying to herself and there’s a part of her that secretly does love her mother like Misato suggested?

This kind of multifaceted and nuanced character-writing is a major aspect of why I love Evangelion so much! Nearly all of its characters are such fascinating and human messes of psychological contradictions that you can’t help but become invested in their personal struggles!

Wow! The actual initiation of Ritsuko’s counter program is once again FREAKING intense! Not only does Ireul manage to quickly hack into Casper once the firewall is lifted, but in what has got to be the most prolonged single second in the history of fictional media, Ritsuko & Maya manage to enter final code-sequences and command keys necessary just in time before the Angel can infiltrate what is quite literally the last single tiny block of uninfected data on Casper’s diagram!

And as soon as Ritsuko engages the counter-program, the tension is finally alleviated as that tiny blue square of uninfected data quickly spreads out and consumes the corrupted red data blocks across all 3 MAGI supercomputers, indicating the Angel’s rapid demise!

Like… dang! I’m honestly impressed by just how suspenseful Anno & GAINAX managed to make this back-&-forth computer-hacking battle against the Angel, especially since this more down-to-Earth tone deviates so heavily from the series’ usual formula of epic and otherworldly giant-kaju battles! It just goes to show how EVA can so efficiently balance various genres and tones into a cohesive whole.

Additionally, it was also a nice change of pace to witness a character outside of the main trio of EVA pilots be directly involved in the defeat of an Angel, while also utilizing said battle to heavily flesh out Ritsuko’s character similar to the previous episode’s heavy emphasis on Misato’s character development!

Speaking of the EVA pilots though, I couldn’t help but chuckle when we cut back to Shinji, Asuka & Rei STILL inside of their Entry-Plugs after all this time!

Not only is it hilarious knowing that the trio are completely oblivious to Ireul’s infiltration and Ritsuko single-handedly defeating it, but I can’t help but sympathize with Asuka’s embarrassment and irritation since they spent all that time undressed inside of their Entry-Plugs floating alone in the GeoFront lake without any access to outside communication! That’s gotta super suck!

Lol! Ritsuko’s tired but relaxed line, “I must be getting old. These all-nighters are really rough,” is such a clever bookend! While the episode began with Ritsuko’s exhaustion regarding her mid-life crisis and anxiety of being solely defined by her mother’s shadow, she now can’t help but feel content in the fact that she protected Naoko’s legacy from being annihilated, staying true to her promise despite her complicated feelings towards her mother.

Also, it’s here that Ritsuko reveals the MAGI’s true nature to Misato as the dichotomy between Naoko’s respective identities as a mother, scientist, and woman. What I can’t help but find fascinating though is that according to Ritsuko, “Those three aspects are struggling for dominance within the MAGI. She intentionally implanted the dilemma to imitate the human experience.”

Honestly, that kind of blending between humanity & machinery makes for an incredibly fascinating concept, since it subverts the emotionless rationality that usually defines A.I. in science fiction media, instead exploring the possibilities of how a machine would function with more human characteristics.

And the episode concludes with some further insight into Ritsuko’s relationship with the late Naoko, clarifying that while she respects her mother as a scientist, she struggles to understand her as a mother while hating the side of her that is a woman. That latter comment in particular does make me wonder if the reason she’s sexually involved with Gendo is because she wants to spite that aspect of her mother instead of merely trying to misguidedly understand it. Or maybe it’s a little bit of both…

Either way, it truly does feel like Ritsuko embodies a mixture of the Oedipus complex which characterizes Shinji, and the Electra complex which characterizes Misato, which I honestly find to be incredibly intriguing…

Also, one last piece of foreshadowing in the form of Ritsuko’s ominous statement that it was the woman aspect of Naoko’s personality that she stayed true to to the very end!

So that was NGE, “Episode 13: Angel Invasion/LILLIPUTIAN HITCHER,” and overall it was another incredibly solid entry to the series! For as much as I snarkily joked about the heavy emphasis on the techno-babble aspect in this particular episode, I was legitimately impressed by the immense levels of tension & suspense Anno and crew were able to generate through a non-traditional Angel battle in what essentially boiled down to a computer hacking contest, as well as the specific focus on Ritsuko’s character and fleshing out her strained relationship with her late mother Naoko. Furthermore, I was not expecting the large quantity of subtle foreshadowing to future twists and revelations across the series in just this one episode, including but not limited to Ritsuko & Naoko’s dommed relationships with Gendo Ikari, the Dummy Plug systems, the presence of human souls inside of the EVAs, and Gendo’s conflict with SEELE. It highlights just how tightly written and cleverly interconnected Evangelion’s narrative and characters are, despite some behind-the-scenes issues that fundamentally altered the thematic and tonal trajectory of the series as a whole.

But that’s stuff I’ll begin delving into next time in my discussion of Episode 14, which will likely be less lengthy compared to my other posts in this marathon concerning the actual content of the episode itself due to its first half essentially being a clip-show (albeit, a rather creative clip-show)… although I will use it as an opportunity to delve into a lot of the behind-the-scenes trivia and drama surrounding the production of the original Neon Genesis Evangelion anime! It should be an interesting discussion at the very least!

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tysonfurybattlepass · 9 months

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Heard you were looking for some anon hate, so here's some that I've thought about over the past few years 😉

Your art is pure garbage. Your shading is so basic and yet it looks worse than the drawings on wikihow articles, and your colors are an abhorrent mix that looks like neon puke. Literally one of the first tips beginner artists get is "don't use the airbrush". And what do you do? Airbrush the fuck out of your markings and shading! Your older anatomy and character designs were far more superior while the newer ones are a bastardized version of their former glory days. I'm younger than you and I can actually paint and pick good colors lmao

You haven't improved at all in 5 years. You actually got worse! You're drawing the same snarling cat 20 times a month instead of working on your backgrounds, shading, anatomy and compositions, and their jaws still look crooked with displaced teeth Every. Single. Time! I wonder how strong their bite force is when the lower jaw is at a 45° angle from the upper one?

All your characters look crazy and deranged and like absolute psychopaths. It's not a good look for your "brand" <3 And their torso takes up 90% of their body. How are they supposed to be strong beasts when their stumpy legs can barely hold the weight of your bad stylization? And you call that an improvement instead of godawful anatomy!

And then, and then!! Y're constantly making new characters, drawing them a bunch and forgetting about them! Algernon, Jarith, Lucia, Geneph, Xiaoya, Bailey, Jicama, Utah, Felin, Civen, Afryea, Thyodore,.Tyson (Aster's pet Inostrancevia), Donnie... And you have even more that you haven't even posted about? How does it feel to know that someone knows your characters more than YOU do? Talk about being an irresponsible artist

You're not even creative enough. "Here's a species that looks exactly like a cat but trust me guys it's not a cat, see? it has two extra arms!" "Here are 20 smilodons that are yellow-brown and have spots, but I love all of them and can differentiate between them!!" "Here's a leopard seal who's bigger than the natural ones and is a made-up species (who's supposed to be part bear and I definetely didnt forget about that) even though nothing is different between her and a regular anthro seal!!!"

I hope you give up on art. It won't take you anywhere in life, just like your autistic interest in paleontology won't help you. You didn't even get a superior education, so it's clear you'll live your life working minimum wage jobs because you're not qualified to do anything better. You’re lazy as fuck and you have no excuse for how weak you are.

You say you have 1000 followers but you barely pass 10 notes on your art and even less on your vents, and whenever you demand people to send you asks daily, nobody says anything. So not even your followers like you. They're just observing your every move and are laughing at your pain. The only thing you're good at is being daily entertainment for me and hundreds of others like me.

All your "female" characters loook like males regardless of what they identify as. It's as if you're incapable of drawing women.

Hooray for making all your best characters trans since you seem to be allergic to normal people. I'm glad you confessed that you support the mutilation of middle schoolers / transing gender non-comforming females (Azure).

You call yourself a "he/they" but you're still competing in the women's category cuz you know you wouldn't last in a fight against real men. You're such a failure that even your step father calls you his daughter publicly. (Your parents surely are disappointed in what you've become. I wouldn't be surprised if you were the reason for their divorce)

Only a few years back you were a proud tomboy girl, but I guess you hate yourself so much that you project your self-misogyny through self-identification and an atrocious art style.

You even chose the name “Tyson”, like that troon Chris Tyson. Considering the recent controversy, that’s what people will associate with your name, not whoever “Tyson Fury” is, and truthfully you deserve it.

You're so fragile being called a girl when you look, sound and act like one. Girl. Woman. Female. Dike. Lass. Lady. She. Wahine. Kaikamahine. Did this make you cry some pathetic manly tears? 100% sure you look like the soyjak in the soyjak vs chad meme right now. Can’t wait to read your breakdown on tumblr, if you’re not going to outright delete every account you have to escape me

Typical white girl starving for attention online behavior lmao.

You boast that you are "hot" but you are objectively ugly, not even mid. Your undercut is shit and your face is so damn bland. Your fursona is strong and beefy but you have a thin female body with stick arms and visible breasts. Talk about projection and an inflated ego. You're oozing with narcissism, and I wouldn't be surprised if you got diagnosed with it. It would 100% suit you.

Your "girlfriends" are still lesbian women, but you’re not one? “Transmasc butch lesbian” my ass, you absolute pooner. It’s not that hard to be a regular woman. Pretty sure you're not even dating them, you're just friends who haven't even held hands. And you’re still a virgin lmao. No bitches? 🥺 And you have not one, but two, because you're insecure in your feelings and can't commit to only one person since you need that external validation. I'm sure they're cheating behind your back because they know you wouldn't check on them.

I hope your sleep apnea kills you in your sleep. You deserve it.

L + ratio + you’re a loser + cope and seethe

Don't bother blocking and reporting me, I said all I had to say, I don't plan on interacting with you anymore and I don't have this level of hatred against anyone else.

Now, have I stalked your accounts until their beginning, or have I followed you for a really long time? Or a secret third thing (I stalked you for a really long time)?

the color thing is true but you should get a job

#bro doesnt know who tyson fury is :(#fake fan

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wonderneverlandsystem · 1 year

Text

All Below Text Are Subject To Change

TW: Mentions of abuse and neglect, mentions of hallucinations (auditory and visual), mentions of dissociation and panic attacks, implied suicide attempt, successful suicide attempt, and death obviously

This is my (Jace) Spider-Sona, Rainbow-Spider! (It's name is the same as mine, but I will be referring to it as Rainbow throughout this post.)

Despite how, you know... Not rainbow, its suit looks. But that's how the suit looks when Rainbow is neutral & when not being worn. The suit is made of a material that it definitely made. And absolutely did not steal from a lab. That changes colours based on the wearers' emotions/feelings.

Lil Personal Details: It's a trans gay man like me, and like us is Greek, though it has a lot more Greek in it than we do. It likes to doodle and write random things, oftentimes about those it cares about. Despite how cold and avoidant it can be, it naturally attracts people, which can get annoying sometimes, and it loves goofy sweethearts *cough cough wink wink* though it would never admit that. It pretends to be much more cool and badass than it thinks it is... Its best friends are Hobie, Gwen, Noir, and Pav, not in that order (don't tell Hobie-). When it saw Spider-Gwen for the first time it thought she was a hallucination at first until Noir laid a hand on her shoulder, after realizing she was real it ran up and hugged her confused. She looked just like the Gwen it knew, other than the gap in her teeth. It very much dislikes Miguel and doesn't agree with him and is actively trying to prevent him from doing fucked shit from the inside... However. It also knows that you can not like someone or even hate them and still acknowledge that they're hot as hell-

Little Suit Details: I wanted to include something into its suit to honour our Greek heritage so I decided to put the Phi symbol into the spider symbol, it also has connections to the origins of the word empathy and stuff which makes sense for its character & powers. The spider symbol also has 4 larger front legs and 4 smaller back legs because of the Goldenrod Crab Spider that bit it. The red stripes with spiderweb detailing are also a homage to the spider that bit it, as that is the only part that doesn't change colours when the spider changes colours. The ones low on its torso are supposed to mimic top surgery scars because it do be a trans boyo. I also put FNSM (Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man) on the headphones. They're not visible at the angle it's at, but the suit has lil pockets with zippers in the front underneath the chains.

Backstory up to ITSV:

Moved to Manhattan after being taken in by its "uncle" (not actually its uncle, but it calls him that) and leaving its abusive so-called parents in Tennessee. Eventually, it made a friend in a transfer student from Queens, Gwen. They were each others only friends, but they helped each other through thick and thin, Rainbow had to call an ambulance to help her from herself once. One day, there was a 9th grade field trip for agriculture and economics class to a big farm in rural New York, the farm just so happened to be next door to an old lab. After chasing after Gwen, who wandered off, Rainbow really stepped in it, literally. It stepped in a nest of Goldenrod Crab Spiders and proceeded to have a panic attack because of its arachnophobia and the disgusting aensation of the web and spiders on its legs. It dissociated, shaking most of them off as it ran and not coming back to reality until feeling a spider bite its hand.

It came back to reality as it slammed its hand into the ground, crushing the neon yellow spider with red stripes into the ground and killing it, its long front legs twitching. It wasn't until late that night after taking a shower that it realized something was off. It yawned as it looked in the mirror, and its hair was a silvery grey colour instead of its normal dyed dark red. When it saw this, it jumped back in shock, which caused the hair to poof into a bright yellow colour. Eventually, it realized that it was changing based on how it felt, and that realization brought its mind back to the spider. Horrifyingly, it spent the night researching spiders, especially those spiders, not realizing until it tried to get up to get a drink that its hands had gripped the laptop. It was... an eventful night. Well really it was an eventful week full of discoveries and freaking out, and it was extremely annoying to try and get a hold of its emotions more as to not let people see that its hair changes colours.

When its uncle left on a trip that he wouldn't tell Rainbow anything about other than he was going back to Tennessee, it made a decision. It was gonna go around helping people using its new abilities. The rest I think you know. Not even a week later it got a call from the hospital in its hometown that its uncle was killed in a car crash... It got a pretty good inheritance from him, but it would only keep him alive and well for a year, two tops. Then a couple of months later it went to a pride festival in the town square as Rainbow-Spider, the identity the people of Manhattan gave it because of its colour-changing suit that it spend a month planning, stealing- I mean buying, and sewing. This was where the Chief of Police, Captain Bucks would die. Captain Bucks and Rainbow were quite acquainted, he was even more acquainted with its real identity. Rainbow stole. Not to mention it was very public about being anti-cop, anti-fascist, anti-government, and anti-capitalist.

... And it may or may not have spray painted a bunch of anarchy symbols and middle fingers on some banks, cop stations, and other government buildings. So Rainbow was brought into the station a lot, so often in fact that every time they'd bring it in they would call ahead of time to let Bucks know. Two hours. Two hours in an interrogation room with a box of glazed doughnuts and a special frappe from the nearby café, Gwen worked there and of course, knew when Rainbow planned on going out so she'd make sure she was working, and she'd have the doughnuts and coffee already done when the chief got there. It got boring after a while, it was essentially the same speech over and over followed by being driven home. No courts. Nothing. Rainbow was too busy to notice how odd that was, nor did it care.

Until Bucks took a bullet for it at the festival where some queerphobic protestors started getting violent and throwing Molotov cocktails. It was "lunging" (what it calls its ability to essentially "teleport"/ move super fast to anywhere in its line of sight. Its vision gets horrible when doing this and it gets vertigo for a moment after getting out of the "lunge". It often opts to "lunge" instead of waste web fluid, plus it's faster.) around and getting people to safety, it seemed like it was all over. That's when its spider sense went off just a second too late. It whipped around and "lunged" forward, not noticing the person moving towards where it was standing or what was moving through it. It kicked the person with the gun in the shin and knocked the gun out of their hand with its elbow. It used its webs to detain them, only for the spider-sense to go off again along with a feeling of dread as it realized the gun was smoking. It had gone off.

It turned to its former position and saw Chief Bucks on the ground and as it "lunged" over to him it noticed the bullet had hit an artery. And with all the chaos it knew he wasn't gonna make it to a hospital in time. Even if it "lunged" or swang over. It was gonna try anyway, but Bucks stopped them, grabbing its hand and slipping a twenty dollar bill in its hands. "Go get yourself a box of doughnuts and your fancy drink kid." Bright yellow. He knew it was Rainbow Spider... "If you haven't figured it out already, your record is clean, well, clean enough." By now it started hearing yelling from other cops, followed by stomping. Its attention was brought back to him by coughs, "You shouldn't be doing this job kid, seriously. I know you wanna help, trust me I do, but your gonna get killed. Or worse..." And with a smile, "Keep hating cops, that's fine, but don't get yourself into more trouble please, I won't be around to save your ass next time ya get caught." He passed.

It was hesitant, but it decided to go to his funeral, it didn't say anything or do anything other than leave a lily, but it blamed itself so it went. It didn't use the money till a year later... Its hallucinations were getting worse and worse, even being around Gwen didn't make them go away anymore. Then one night, it was doing its nightly patrols as Rainbow-Spider and it was hearing explosions, fire crackling, seeing fires that weren't there, and car wrecks that weren't there. Then it saw Gwen standing on top of the hotel she was staying at, it ignored it, thinking it was another hallucination... But when it saw her move towards the edge it thought twice and "lunged" forward to try and knock her back or grab her but it missed her, barely knocking into her feet. Its vision barely came back in time to see her look back up at it as she fell, that's when it heard its phone go off and notice her phone in her hand. It was loud enough for her to hear apparently as her face went from shocked to scared and apologetic before. It "lunged" forward again, spinning its body as it went in hopes of taking the impact after grabbing her instead but it failed, it was too great a height, too great a distance.

It landed on the ground beside her, its arm taking the brunt of the impact and getting scratched to hell. It ignored the pain as much as it could and moved to pick up Gwen, or at this point, her body. It had to plan the funeral because her so-called parents didn't care, they did kick her out so it wasn't surprising. The night of the funeral is when those twenty bucks got spent, after the funeral that is, it and a couple of teachers were the only people there. No one said a word other than the priest and there wasn't a reception or food, just a cooler with drinks. Rainbow officially had no one left, just an apartment which it would probably be evicted from in a couple of months as the inheritance money from Uncle Zayne was about gone, other than the bit it was holding onto for food after it gets evicted. Then one night as it's packing up its spidey sense goes off and it turns just in time to see what looks like a black hole suck it in and spit it out into a giant electronic billboard.

#into the spider verse #itsv #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman #spidersona #trans man #gay #it/its #trans

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mewintheflesh-2 · 7 months

Text

Team sky people I haven’t talked about yet:

June/Junebug: Higher Grunt. Team Sky’s Official Tumblr Account manager. Gets into a lot of arguments with people over which Pokémon should be allowed into the team. Has to be convinced to stop arguing endlessly with people. Dresses in very scene clothes/makeup

Victoria: Grunt. June’s queerplatonic partner. Co manager of Team Sky’s Official Tumblr Account. Very gothic, loves the vampire aesthetic. Is the one who has to convince June to stop arguing with people online by letting her just talk about how stupid they are to her instead, who she herself shares the same feelings.

Millie: Not exactly an official member, as a result he doesn’t have a rank, but he might as well be an official member. Professional Artist. Hired/frequently commissioned by Mikey to make paintings for him. A lot of his paintings seem to depict future/sinister events of “other realities” said by Millie himself. Mikey will just walk up to him like “Hey Millie! What’re you painting this time?” And it’s just him being overcome by sinister shadows and being curled up into a ball and Millie’s just like “Have you ever wondered what would happen if Team Sky turned truly evil?” And Mikey’s looking at it bewildered, first of all because of the concept, but also because the art is just absolutely stunningly beautiful. And Mikey’s just like “No, I haven’t, but holy shit your art is beautiful.” And Millie’s just like “Thanks :)”. Millie also kind of has a giant crush on him. No biggie!! Mikey is a very striking muse to him.

Trixie: Grunt. MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL kind of. She’s like 14 (no she’s like 16), straight light pink hair, dresses very scene, has little wrist warmers that are majority black with neon green stripes. Has just straight up pilot goggles without the little flaps on them. Has a Noivern and Swoobat :)

Tricky (v similar names I know, it wasn’t me though): Higher Grunt. Very much punk. Most of her head is shaved aside from the front part of the right side of her head, where her light purple hair falls over her face, curled in the fashion of a cartoonish tornado. Wears leather, studded jackets and a lot of fish nets. A lot of piercings, even in the most painful places, stretched out earlobes, and lots of rings, along with thick platform boots. Her fav drink is passion fruit tea and she is very bisexual. I think she has a big sister kind of relationship with Tricky.

+@##83: h43$@+53$j

and I��ve already talked about Theo, but I want to talk more in-depth about him!:

Mechanic. Despite how young he looks in the only art I’ve posted of him on here, he is actually 16-19! He is trans, uses he/him, and is a faller from a similar reality as Nightsky is! Back at his home, he very much viewed Nightsky as somewhat of a father figure to him, as they were decently close, virtue of Theo not having a family of his own. When Theo fell into the world he lives in now, he was very much bewildered at the state of the world. Why was it back to its “normal” state?

That’s when he found Team Sky again. He was very very weirded out, but after awhile of trying to go back home, he eventually realized the best he could do was settle for a new life here. He was very intrigued by Mikey, who he himself was very intrigued about Theo. Mikey and Theo ended up building a very much passive father/son relationship, which Theo was content with as he continued his life in this alternate reality from his own. Theo ended up being brought into Team Sky as a trusted and skilled mechanic, as despite his age, he is very handy with all sorts of tools.

In an alternate timeline, Nightsky does end up coming to his reality via the Time Machine in Area Zero. Theo finds Nightsky alone and is very much shocked to see him “again” (it’s a different guy entirely, but he’s similar enough.) Nightsky recognizes him as the Theo from his own reality, neither of them are aware they’re not talking to who they think they’re talking to. Either way, Theo is just relieved to see someone else from his home, as is Nightsky, though he doesn’t admit it. It’s settles the anxieties in his chest somewhat.

Team Nighsky has a salute that every member is to memorize and enact when appropriate, this is how Nightsky identifies that Theo isn’t lying about him previously being a member of Team Nightsky. I like to think since Theo gets to know both of the Sky Mikeys very well at some point, he’d be the one to start negotiating between them until they can talk face to face. Theo does get tired of them refusing to negotiate at first and just using him as a messenger-boy to hurl insults at each other back and forth, so he ends up refusing to carry over the messages unless it’s to actually speak about their problems with each other.

#Mandjtv #Team Sky #Team Sky Grunt #Team Sky OC #“Oc” >:{#Sorry #Team Nightsky #Team Nightsky Grunt #Sky Mikeys #The Sky Mikeys #June Team Sky #Victoria Team Sky #Millie Team Sky #Trixie Team Sky #Tricky Team Sky #Theo Team Sky #Team Sky Mikey #Nightsky Mikey

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pinewoodpipit · 9 months

Text

so long, we become the flowers - Cowboy AU - Fic Midpoint Meta (Chapter 5)

Time for a new meta post for "we become the flowers", a.k.a. my cowboy au, now that chapter 5 has been released!

Here is a link to the first meta post for this fic, posted at the beginning.

Here is a link to the post-fic meta, posted after the fic was completed!

General thoughts

This, at the end of chapter 5, is where the fic was ORIGINALLY supposed to end. In the original storyline, there was a time skip after this to the end. That ending is still there, but it’ll happen at the end of chapter 9. There’s still more story to be told here and I’d be remiss to leave it out. That said, there's a chance the fic will get longer... we shall see.

Fade’s attack was hugely existential for her and she fully accepted she was going to die to the point where her first thought upon waking up was “I’m dead” instead of thinking she’d been saved. After her brother’s death, she’s come to see wolves as a completely inevitable death. We will learn more about his death later and why it was so traumatic for Fade. She was extremely lucky to be found quickly enough to be saved, although the infection was very serious and was not something easily recovered from.

The timeline of their separation was left purposefully vague. I didn’t want to make it too exact how long they spent apart, but it went from mid-spring into late summer before their reunion in chapter 5. Nathaniel woke and told Neon the truth a couple of weeks before Fade was found in the clearing, so Nathaniel, while still weak, is up and about and is well enough to help Fade recover.

Scandal

Nathaniel’s acceptance was him giving his blessing for Fade and Neon to be together. Neon would be annoyed by the idea of needing blessing, but do remember this story is set in the 1800s, albeit a fantasy version of the 1800s. I won’t include any homophobia or transphobia in this story as I have no interest in reading or writing about that as a queer trans person myself, but I do think the courting culture would be something I’d be remiss to leave out. It adds TENSION with the constant fear of your public image and the need for other people’s approval. It’s like Austen books in that way; there’s a lot of social ramifications for scandal and I think it’s important to include that in an AU like this.

As such, Neon getting into bed with Fade is VERY scandalous. The forehead and knuckle kisses from earlier chapters alone would be scandalous, too. An unmarried couple, even one who have been given the blessing of their parents, should NOT be even kissing on the lips or being too physically affectionate until they’re wed. If they were seen sharing a bed before their wedding day they’d cause a huge scandal. Luckily, Nathaniel isn’t exactly going to tattle to anyone if he sees them doing this and he knows his daughter well enough to know she’s probably doing shit like that anyway. They’re smart enough to know they shouldn’t do things like that in public, so as long as they don’t go too crazy and upset Nathaniel, they’re safe to be as scandalous as they like behind closed doors.

Grief as a theme

I write grief a lot. It’s a common theme in my work and while it’s difficult and painful to cover, it is something extremely personal to me as it’s something I’ve been dealing with irl for.. quite some time, now. Grief is also the reason I got into Valorant to begin with, although I won’t go into more detail about that.

Chapter 4 in this fic is probably the hardest time I’ve ever had writing grief. It was so exact to the kind of grief I’ve been coping with - anticipatory grief of a parent - that it hit incredibly close to home and that was… very painful. I’m really proud of how that chapter turned out, but it definitely took quite a bit of time to get it done because it was a lot to deal with, emotionally.

Music

I’ve decided to just share the playlist for these fics now instead of listing every song, haha. It’s less private, but it’s also considerably less work, and most of my Spotify stuff is private from my page, anyway.

Here is the post where I shared cowboy au’s playlist!

#pipit writes #fic meta #cowboy au #valorant #own post

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sherbovania · 1 year

Text

on demonic society: culture

long post. buckle up

general questions if everyone is freely allowed to steal and loot in a lawless world, how are shops still operating? it may be a “lawless” world but that doesn’t mean its inhabitants are completely rabid. most of them are former humans stuck in the societal grooves of their past life anyways, so there’s always at least some money in circulation out of a sense of obligation. it’s a lawless world for shop owners too so who’s stopping them from hitting thieves with the .38 special. on the flip side some shops are just running for the love of the game babey

cultural values (quick overview version)

hedonism is awesome

i got mine, fuck you

despite everything they love a tight-knit community

ur completely bitchmade if you cave to what others expect of you

your lineage means jack shit

naming conventions draw upon the macabre, the evil and the esoteric for names, as well as variants on lucifer (ex. lucille, vice, maljean, and venom)

family structure biological family ties are extremely loose, so most don’t even end up living with their children (who instead look for that found family type beat). the most common structure is in groups of 4 or 5 with equally shared responsibilities. groups are usually formed out of a need to stick together, plus combined income and so on. younger demons will live with their parents for a brief period of time, and since there is no central education system they must learn life essentials via osmosis.

non-hereditary demons may end up reuniting with their family from their previous life or choosing to start fresh, most choosing the latter. some are also known to move into pre-existing groups for their first few years down under.

angel relationship/cohabitation aren’t foaming at the mouth to obliterate their divine counterparts like the angels are. there’s a sizable number of them down under since a bunch of angels defected when lucifer fell, and afterwards a lot have been exiled from utopia. most want to hide their angelic features or not make a big deal out of them, since opinions on angels differ wildly from person to person.

cultural divides wife wars small sect of the population that thinks hellion society was at its best when [REDACTED] was lucifer’s wife and want to “reject modernity, return to the green top” as they say

anti-angel sentiment some people are bigoted idk what to tell u. they form a sort of "square vs rectangle" idea with the fundies, not all anti-angel people are fundies but every fundie is anti-angel.

the fundies they’re their own cultural divide. basically militant extremists that violently oppose technological and cultural progress (trans-humanism especially) because it strays father from the “peak” of hellion civilization when you could easily kill angels with the flick of your wrist and eat the drywall with no consequences (and lucy had NO wife). they want to send your ass back to the stone age so bad

the doomsday cultists

…will be discussed at a later date

niche subcultures homebrew freaky little basement rats that wanna hurt you so bad (with their own homemade atrocities of course). put that basement dwelling to work by making pipe bombs, flashbangs, hand grenades and bootleg spell charms (lab-synthesized magic in a marble-like capsule) to use in…street fights mostly. they make up a good percent of both the buying and selling portion of the weapons black market. the especially weird ones are currently innovating the homebrew meta by adding canisters of Unspecified Chemicals to their creations. and anthrax spores that too

magicians dnd nerd club that wants to revive the dead art of magic (they can’t on a wide scale unfortunately, more on magic here) but they can sure try. think that spell charms are a farce and they’re so above using them guys trust me

fashion the most common aesthetic seen down under is largely 2000s punk/scene inspired; mostly blacks, neon accents, funky accessories, the works. other popular styles include neo-military, proto-military, victorian, oddcore, jester/clown, futuristic, delinquent, and archaic. NAGAJAM is a popular designer brand that falls under the futuristic category.

makeup isn't stigmatized and is widely used by the public in smaller amounts. for most it’s only really used to accent features or pull attention to their facial markings/ drawing on the appearance of markings, but some are dedicated to creating bright and angular looks.

angelpunk counterculture a notable subset have adopted the fashion and aesthetics of their angelic counterparts, in part to spite them. angel-like features and clothing are viewed as radical/punk, since it’s interpreted as them ‘wearing the skin’ of those who want them dead.

emeralds culturally significant stone. fell out of lucifer’s crown when he was cast out of heaven and struck with a sword by the archangel michael. symbolizes pride, greed, and hellion nationalism. commonly paired with rubies in jewelry.

food my stummy hurts 🥺 (eats a meal’s worth of goods that can’t even be classified as food when exported out of the United States)

mmm i love heavily processed foods yum

i eat-a the onion like an apple haha

anything sour or acidic is a staple of their food culture. green apples, onions, citrus fruits and the like are very common in native dishes. get ready for canker sores babey

a lotta stuff is heavily salted/preserved since depending on where you live electricity is not a constant

very meat-centric, mostly chicken since they’re fairly inexpensive to raise down under

they can and will drink petrol like it's orange juice

the thing about cans energy drink cans (monster in particular) are extremely valuable down under. they don’t have the licensing to sell them there so the only way you can get one firsthand is traveling to the overworld to get one (which nobody really wants to do) so they’re automatically quite rare and considered a commodity. most don’t actually drink it but keep it for the can which can essentially act as a secondary currency in some places. due to their status, people will want to flex them in outlandish ways. you’ll see people making candles with theirs and selling the cut-off tops or some completely goofy shit

pop tabs collected from these cans are also a popular accessory, strung into necklaces, earrings, made into chains, sewn on pants as accents, etc. colorful ones are the most sought after.

the old gods killed by lucifer a long time ago during his deicide era but still permeate through pop culture. cosmic horror and kaiju are popular genres throughout multiple mediums. one thing they have in common with the great upstairs is that they both worship long-dead idols from years past, though not to the same extent the angels do with the Old Divines. they’re not petrifying their corpses and hanging them up for all to see whilst deifying them post-mortem like the angels are but i think it would be quirky if they did

#this is almost a 1:1 mirror of the notes i have on my phone so this one’s been cookin for a while #loreposting #oubliette metro

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femmedionysus · 3 years

Note

sorry if this is too personal feel free to just ignore if so, maybe im thinking of a different user but did you used to id as bi? : o i was curious cause ive been questioning lately and was wondering if you felt comfortable talking about the process of realizing you are lesbian

hope you're having a good day!

okay so first off, sorry it's taken me so long to answer this! I did id as bi until recently, & I don't at all mind talking about how I figured out I was a lesbian, but I am gonna put it under a readmore to spare people's dashboards because I did end up going on forever about it.

long post short: it's about finding what feels right & chasing that.

so I don't claim to speak for Every Lesbian Experience Ever, but personally, my realization went something like:

-be a neurodivergent & traumatized kid who is unsure of their footing in any social situation & very concerned with having the Correct reactions to things, in order to get a good grade in Being A Person.

-choose which boys you are going to have a crush on, based on things like whether they are nice to you or at least not outright mean, whether other girls in your class also like them, & crucially, whether they are unlikely to ever like you back, because the idea of actually dating them makes you nervous in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. assume everyone decides who to have a crush on this way.

-in gym class at age 12ish, get absolutely smitten with a pretty girl who passed the ball to you during soccer. assume that since you've had crushes on boys before, this must mean you're bi.

-do not question this assumption for the next 17 years of your life.

-in between dating a series of boys that range from "blandly inoffensive" to "actively abusive," have exactly two experiences with girls:

-hook up with your best friend in senior year of high school. catch feelings. get your heart broken when she does not feel the same.

-fall into a friends-with-benefits situation with your college roommate. catch feelings. get your heart broken when they do not feel the same. (I hesitate to include him in this actually, since they did come out as a trans guy later, but at the time we both thought that we were both cis girls, so it was an experience at the time)

-at age 20, date a man much older than yourself who turns out to be massively abusive. accumulate some more trauma.

-a few months after escaping that relationship, jump into another long term relationship with a different man who is mostly fine. shitty, sometimes, but better than the last one, anyway.

-it's hard to know if you're happy when all you have to compare it to is literal hell.

-when that relationship ends, fuck around with your gender & confirm that you are in fact nonbinary. nice!

-have a minor hoe phase that consists of two very underwhelming hookups with two men who were nice enough, but something just didn’t feel right about it.

-get together with the butch you've been friends with for years (& had some level of feelings for them for pretty much that whole time).

-realize "wait, hang on, relationships are supposed to feel this good? is this allowed??"

I didn't think too hard about it at first but dating them felt different than dating any boy had felt, right from the start. they feel safe in a way that I hadn't ever felt before? I fell for them extremely hard, & getting to visit them & spend time with them in person again really just confirmed that for me.

it was when I started really examining that feeling that it made me question the rest of it. I made a post a couple days ago, but like, imagine thinking you like black&white movies the same amount as color movies when you've only ever seen black&white movies, & then watching something that's all neon. it makes you question what you thought you knew before you had had that experience!

the biggest part of the realization for me was figuring out that with kiwi, my feelings were "I really like them," instead of the feeling I was used to of "I really want them to like me." I really thought those two feelings were the same, but as it turns out, nope! huge difference.

dating women in general & kiwi specifically feels easy & natural & good in a way that dating men never has, for me. & I'm sure that part of that is that I am absolutely head over heels for this butch, & I want us to keep making each other happy for as long as they'll have me! but it's also the knowledge that having feelings for someone can feel like this, like the main emotion behind it is joy instead of anxiety.

I don't know that I'd even say that every feeling I've ever had for any man was fake, necessarily. but I do know that the thought of "I never have to date a man ever again" gives me such a huge wave of euphoria & relief. I saw a post recently that described figuring out your attraction as "joy-sensitive" & I really love that way of looking at it. like sure, I could sit here & agonize over every relationship or "crush" that I've ever had with a man, & go over my feelings with a microscope looking for proof that I'm really bisexual or really a lesbian, but honestly? that sounds hellish. I only want to date women/sapphic nonbinaries, so I'm calling myself a lesbian, & that feels incredible to say!

you're allowed to sit with your feelings for as long as you need to to find what feels right for you, but you don't have to prove it to yourself (or anyone else). you're allowed to try it on for size - when you're alone sometime, say it out loud to yourself, see how it feels! say out loud, "I'm a lesbian." does it feel terrifying? wrong? right? freeing? restrictive? don't put too much stress on figuring it out right away - there's no time limit. just sit with whatever feelings it gives you, & see which feelings you want to chase.

do the same thing with "I'm bisexual." how does that feel? better or worse? more or less accurate?

think about never dating a man, ever again. does that feel like loss, or does it feel like freedom?

there's no right or wrong answers to these questions. being bisexual & being a lesbian are both wonderful, amazing, healthy, beautiful things to be! whichever label you decide fits you best, I wish you nothing but happiness. good luck!

#anonymous #lesbian tag

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rjalker · 2 years

Text

I realized this will be helpful not only to me but also other people probably.

So I’m gonna write down the names of the colors of paint I’m using to make the pride flag pins.

The brand is “apple barrel” and I buy the little bottles that Walmart sells for 50cents. One bottle will last pretty much forever. Instead of tipping it out and pouting the paint onto something to get paint from, just shake it a bit, take the cap off, and collect paint from the cap.

The only color that has started to dry inside the cap from this method is the white paint, the rest are 100% fine. I assume the white paint is different because of what is used to make it.

I use mod podge a clear coat for them, which is the most expensive “ingredient’ since it costs $8.

I use a single paintbrush that I clean between colors in a little gatorade bottle filled with water. You do not need to spend lots of money on this. I am currently painting big popsicle sticks that I cut up into four our five squares each, and you can also paint the wooden circles and stars Walmart sells 6 for around a dollar or two. You can also sometimes find different shapes at the Dollar Tree, and you can also paint metal bottlecaps, though you have to use a lot of clear coat to seal it because the paint might try to peel off lol....

The flag colors, in no particular order, for the ones I’ve tested so far:

Genderqueer: Kelly green, White, Lilac mist

Trans (pale): Cloudless, Pink polish, White,

Trans (bright): Cool blue, Pink parfait, White

Bi: Fruit punch, Velvet crush, Blue kazoo

MOGAI: Cloudless, Cool blue, Spring green, Sunny day, Lilac mist, Melted chocolate

Nonbinary: Lemon, White, Wild iris, Black (you could also substitute Wild Iris for a different shade of purple, but this one is my favorite)

Agender: Black, Pewter grey, White, Spring green

Aro: Kelly green, Spring green, White, Pewter grey, Black

Ace: Black, Pewter grey, White, Wild Iris (or your favorite shade of purple, really)

uhhhhh I haven’t figured out which shade of orange is best for the Aroace flag. They don’t look quite right. Pick whichever orange you like best, then Lemon, White, Cool blue, and Admiral blue.

It/its: Sunny Day, Spring Green, White (I keep forgetting to buy a light grey), Pewter Grey, Cool blue.

Queer: Antique white, Lilac mist, Velvet crush.

Neopronouns: Spring green, Cloudless, White, Sunny day, Tangelo.

Xiqyne: Wild iris, Neon purple, Cool blue, Cloudless, Spring green, Sunny day.

More will be edited into this post as I successfully paint them.

I also made a google doc

#DIY pride pins #queer art #pride art #Rjalker does art

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eohachu · 3 years

Text

Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.

Ali tagged me, thanks. I guess 😘 @lanzhansmiles

A’ight so I’m simply taking this as an opportunity to show off my frankly impeccable taste 😌 *coughs into the crook of my elbow with my mask on and from a safe distance* More under the cut, godspeed!

I’m tagging uhh I really don’t want to expose anyone but uh. @morifinwes @ttaechwita @sunshine304 @treemaidengeek @flamingwell no pressure tho!!

Since 2006

Janina Fautz: Die Wilden Kerle, anyone?? Tbh i had a crush on quite a lot of the characters/actors but in hindsight Janina was and is the most influential one. Also probably my first ever girl crush (again, in hindsight bc it took me until 3 years ago to finally find out i’m queer lol)

Eva-Maria May: Yeah well I’m not gonna talk about where I know her from let’s say it was an incredibly bad soap opera my mom used to watch. She was one of the reasons why I went Yeah I Have Always Been Into Girls. I was pretty obsessed with her to the point where mini me secretly printed out a photo of her to look at lmaooo the signs have always been there and it’s truly amazing how I had been missing them for years

Amy Adams: Her as Amelia Earhart in Night at the Museum was also definitely a huge Thing to young me. Again, I had been completely oblivious about this crush for years

David Luiz: HAH! This is the point where we do NOT get into my football/soccer crushes bc this list would get WAYYY too long hahaha. I had to cut loads of people from my list for this post bc I develop a new celebrity crush every 5 minutes basically but yeah. David Luiz was definitely my biggest football/soccer crush out of..... everyone else

M*rvel

I don’t have a lot to say about any of them since I’m not into m*rvel anymore TFATWS makes me want to stick the tip of my toe back into m*rvel waters but otherwise NO THANKS

Sebastian Stan was, if my judgement of my archive is right, the longest highkey celebrity crush I’ve ever had. Mostly because I love Bucky a lot and he was so amazing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I must’ve had a crush on him for as long as I had been in the m*rvel fandom

Recent Past

some celeb crushes from last year that were all more or less short-lived tbh

Ester Expósito: As it often goes I didn’t find her spectacular in the beginning but as Élite went on I started to develop a huge crush on her. I still find her pretty hot but I’m not invested in Élite so yeah..... I have no object permanence

Mina El Hammani: Got to know her through Élite, too. She’s so incredibly beautiful. Had a hard time choosing a photo of her bc I’d stare at every single one for ages. Wow.

Danger Days!Gerard Way: Hah! The ones of you who’ve been following me for longer might remember my posts about wanting to dye my hair neon red. Well, him’s the reason and also clinical depression. Ended up with natural red/ginger bc my hair is too thin for bleaching lel. ANYWAY

Maxence Danet Fauvel: Pretty short-lived crush from my Skam days

Ramy Moharam Fouad: So Ramy has a brother, Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad, who makes INCREDIBLE music. Ramy made some of his music videos (directed them? not sure), that’s how he came to my attention. Idk man he’s just so incredibly beautiful.... gives me a hint of genvy, too......

Janelle Monáe: Became a fan when Make Me Feel came out, listened to the entire album for days and eventually inevitably crushed on her

Lera Abova: Saw her in ANИА and fell in love. I screamed to my friends for weeks about how she was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen etc etc. Eventually my crush went away mostly, but I still think she’s stunning

Keiynan Lonsdale: Keiynan said FUCK gender and I said 😍😍😍 and that’s all you need to know.

Current

*deep breath* alright let’s gooo

Bright (Wachirawit Chivaaree): Crushed on him for as long as I watched 2gether/Still 2gether lmao. I still like him a lot and sometimes lose my mind over him but I’m not exceptionally Thirsty™

Tul (Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai) and Max (Nattapol Diloknawarit): If you search either of them on tumblr you will have to scroll for a long, long time to find seperate photos of them. However, I’m not patient enough so here we are. Re: Tul, actually I want to copy/paste what Ali said bc DAMN a man who is confident about his masculinity and sexuality really is kinda hot. Same goes for Max tbh. Also Max’ lips look so soft I [redacted]

Lukas von Horbatschewsky: Also known as Lukas Alexander. He did an amazing job in Druck and he’s just a person I admire in general. As one of the few out trans actors in Germany, he had a main role as a trans boy in Druck and also co-wrote Druck’s seasons 5 and 6. He’s just a huge role model to me and, apart from that, Big Crush Material (h i s e y e s)

Li Wei: Someone suggested him as Hua Cheng for the TGCF live action and my life hasn’t been the same since. While I’m open for whoever will get that role in the end, I could look at his face for hours and not get bored. Major Genvy, too.

Li BoWen and Liu HaiKuan: I will have to deal with these two in one paragraph bc LanLan bc they have the exact same effect on me which is. that they’re not 100% my type but I WILL go absolutely feral about them at regular intervals, if you know what I mean

Song JiYang: ohh honey. oh honey.......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a natural affinity for aquarius ppl and this one lives in my heart rent free. I’d even make him soup if he’d ask.

Wang YiBo: WELL HOLY SHIT. listen. LISTEN! the hype around him is 100% justified imo he really is That Bitch and I love him so so much for it. Fucking ICON

Honorary Mentions: Gender Envy

Here’s to the People I Thought I Had A Crush On But Not Quite until I learned the word Gender Envy:

Zhu YiLong: Man, this is the person who’s mainly responsible for me finding out AT ALL about not being entirely cis. The POWER he holds!!! His performance as Ye Zun in Guardian was like a breakthrough point for me which. certain people witnessed in real time hahaha oh I love this fandom!!

Zhu ZanJin: HIM. AAAH!! He’s literally so beautiful and whenever I see him I just go ZANZAN!! in my head and in the tags bc. well. hIM.

Xiao Zhan With Long Hair: Look, Xiao Zhan is always amazing but BLESS the person who made these manips. I can finally rest.

Wang YiBo: uhh what’s he doing here again?? Tbh YiBo is one of the few, if not the only person that gives me Major Gender Envy that I would also [redacted] if they asked. Do I want to be him or be with him? The answer is Yes.

I skipped the fictional characters bc I tend not to crush on them 👉👈 Instead I will just directly crush on the actors/actresses lol!

Thank you for bearing with me. As a prize, you can choose between a ladder supported forehead kiss, or a bowl of homemade soup. ❤

#[brother this took so fucking long]#[it was fun to reminisce but please never ask me to do this again ❤]#[sorry if anything doesn't make sense. i'm very tired my sleep schedule is fucked up and i have a major headache ❤]#[thanks ali for the tag it was really really fun!]#[also i think it's kinda sexy of me not to be ashamed of any of these. does therapy work? maybe so]#about #tag game #ali tag #r.txt

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

Note

47 for OT4, SFW or NSFW I love your writing! :))

Thank you! I went SFW for this one.

47: you overhear me complaining to my coworker about your ridiculous daily coffee order, whoops

“Oh christ, here he comes.” Duck mutters to Indrid as he pumps hazelnut syrup into a cup, “the one I was tellin you about.”

Indrid, stationed at the counter, tilts his head as he watches the windows, “would he be the one that looks like a lumberjack or the one who looks like a secret agent?”

“The second one. I dunno what it is, but his order drives me fuckin nuts. It’s super specific; dark roast, single origin only, heavy cream until it turns about that color” he points to the wall, “with a half pump of caramel and a half pump of vanilla. You’re gonna be that specific, just make it at home.” He’s busy putting a lid on the drink and therefore misses Indrid’s hand waving.

“I do, and it’s not that hard.” A deep voice makes him turn; the lumberjack, looking more amused than annoyed.

“And since you know my order so well already” the other man, smile, tight lipped, at him before turning to Indrid, “one of those and one large, black coffee.”

Duck starts the drink, making it as fast as he can so he can slink off into the back room. Shit, if the guy rats on him he could get in trouble, he’s already on thin ice after throwing out some rich kid for harassing the staff.

Indrid takes the drinks, mouths, “go” and heads around the counter while Duck makes a bee-line for the supply closet.

--------------------------

Indrid sets the cups down in front of the two men, then slides a plate with a large, hot monster cookie on it between them.

“On the house, as they say.”

“This an apology cookie or a ‘don’t give us a bad review’ cookie?” The lumberjack smirks.

“Both.” Indrid says mildly, smiling and returning to his post.

As he walks away he hears the deep voice whisper, “wouldn’t kick that one outta bed for eating crackers.”

A soft laugh, “Agreed. Pity his friend is an ass.”

When Jake and Hollis arrive a few minutes later to take over for him and Duck, he finds his boyfriend clonking his head into the wall by the break room.

“Don’t worry, love, I smoothed things over.”

“Thanks. Just feel like a dipshit. Both for gettin overheard and complainin in the first place.”

“I assumed it was stress from waiting on interview results.”

“Yeah.” Duck pulls on his jacket, “still feel shitty though.”

“Come, let’s go home. I have some ideas for relaxation.” He purrs, kissing Duck’s cheek.

“How may of ‘em are fuckin’-based?”

“Half.”

“Good, gives us some variety just in case.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

“We’ve paired you with another duo, if that’s okay?”

“Sure” Duck smiles at the Escape Room employee, takes Indrid’s hand as they follow him down the hall, “Aubrey says these are more fun in a group.”

“I look forward to--oh dear.”

Duck turns to see the pair from the coffee shop last week. The lumberjack looks about the same, but the secret agent is dressed more casually than usual. His black hair is loose rather than slicked back, and he’s in jeans and shirt that reads, “Champ” with a dark outline of sea monster on the front. He almost looks cute.

“You’ve been trapped in the lair of hostile, highly intelligent space aliens. You have an hour to escape. Good luck” The employee shuts the door, leaving the pairs to stare at each other.

“Uh, hi. Again.” Duck waves awkwardly

“Hey.” The lumberjack waves back, “so, uh, this is hella awkward, right?”

“Yes.” The other three respond.

“Cool. Look, I dunno about you but I don’t wanna get dissected by aliens. So, bygones?”

The others nods and he smiles, “I’m Barclay, this is Joseph. My, uh, my boyfriend.” It’s distinctly odd watching such a large man blush like a schoolgirl. Joseph smiles, kisses his cheek, then looks around the room.

“Alright, we need to find the four symbol code to enter onto that pad. Spread out and look for places symbols might be hidden.”

They find the first one easily. Indrid’s eye for color and patterns helps them locate the second, and when a clue points to the third being high up, instead of having to construct a makeshift ladder or step-stool, Barclay simply reaches up and grabs it. It does not escape Duck’s notice that both Indrid and Joseph get appreciative looks on their faces when Barclay then moves a “cloning pod” out of the way all by himself.

“I suspect the last symbol is hidden one something that is in...that hole.” Joseph points to the newly revealed wall lined with several cubbies, one of which has danger signs written all around it.

“Not it. Too close to a garbage disposal, and I have nightmares about putting my hand down that at the wrong time.” Barclay shudders.

“I would also prefer not to be the one to reach in; such elements often have a loud noise gimmick and I do not enjoy that.”

Joseph glances at Duck, blue eyes glinting with a not-entirely-friendly challenge.

“Fuck it, I’ll do it.” Duck steps forward and cautiously slides his hand in. Indrid’s instinct was right, as the whole starts vibrating with a loud, grinding sound. Indrid yelps, grabbing the other two men, who in turn jump and scream in surprise. Duck grits his teeth, fights the urge to pull back, and finds a smooth tile waiting for him. When he removes his hand the noise stops, and he grins, triumphant, as he shows off the last symbol.

“WHOO!” Barclay cheers and high-fives Duck as Joseph punches in the symbols, stopping the timer on the wall, “shit, that was wild man, scared the living hell outta me and I wasn’t even the one doing it.”

“Mmmm, my brave hero.” Indrid drapes his arms over his shoulder, kissing him.

“Sap.” Duck teases, kissing him back.

“You know, we make a pretty good team.” Joseph brushes stray hair off his face.

“Yeah. Would, um, would you guys like to go grab coffee or something?” Barclay looks genuinely hopeful, which is why, ten minutes later, Duck is sitting across from Joseph in a dark-wood coffee shop. Indrid has excused himself to wash his hands and Barclay is outside taking a phone call from someone named Mama.

Duck sips his coffee (black) as he watches Joseph measure cream into his mug.

“That explains it; guys who drink black coffee are always weird about guys who don’t.”

“Don’t Barclay drink his black?”

“Only when we’re out, when we’re at home he’s always making fancy coffee. Trying out new recipes. It works well. Or, um, mostly well. There was a green tea cherry espresso that was not his finest.”

“Eech. Heh, that reminds me of the time ‘Drid was so groggy he poured strawberry syrup into his coffee instead of caramel. Didn’t phase him one bit, but I felt like I was kissin a berry patch the whole day. Swear the man’s half moth or some shit from how much sugar he drinks.”

Joseph snickers, “sorry, imagining Indrid as a mothman is a funny image.”

Duck pictures it and giggles, which makes Joseph laugh harder. When they recover, he scratches the back of his neck, “Look, I’m sorry I was a dick about your coffee order. Just havin one of those weeks where everythin got on my nerves.”

“It’s alright. I’m not all that bothered by it. Not intellectually, anyway. Being particular or precise is something people have been, um, less than kind to me about in the past.”

“Nothin wrong with knowin what you like.”

Joseph glances out the window at Barclay, “No, no there’s not.”

----------------------------------

It becomes a weekly arrangement; the four of them meet for some kind of activity, then go to lunch or dinner. Duck learns many things over those weeks; that Barclay can figure out how to reverse engineer Indrid’s favorite cupcakes from a local bakery, that Joseph has a worryingly deep yet very endearing knowledge of bad horror movies. That while Joseph is terrifying during a trivia match, Duck can still wipe the floor with everyone when it comes to the science categories. He learns that Joseph is trans, like him, and that Barclay and Indrid actually went to the same high school but were two years apart and thus didn’t know each other.

Right now, he’s learning that he’s not as good at laser tag as he thought he was.

They went during the cheaper hours, mid-afternoon on a Sunday, and while all four of them are on the same team they’ve gotten separated in the neon-tinted darkness.

He can tell the enemy team has spotted him, and is moving as fast as he can out of range, when a hand reaches out of a darkened turret and pulls him in.

“GAHoh, phew, scared the hell outta me Joe.”

“Sorry, it was safer than calling out.” The space is small, built for kids rather than two twenty-six year olds, and so Joe is pressed right up against him as he watches the door. He might be the only guy Duck knows who wears honest to god cologne, clean and minty smelling, and the scent wraps around him when Joe pulls him back against his chest to hide them from passing opponents.

“Fuck, that was close.” He whispers.

“Don’t worry” Joe murmurs in his ear, voice huskier than normal, “you’ve got me to look out for you.” He breaks away as if nothing happened, pulls Duck’s body out into the glowing chaos, while his mind stays in the little room, wondering what the fuck that was.

------------------------------------

“Can’t believe we got our asses handed to us by a bunch of eleven year olds.” Duck groans as they sit, licking their wounds along with soft-serve from a tiny shack that Barclay swears by.

“That one blonde girl is gonna grow up to be a sniper.” Barclay offers his cone (chocolate and sour cherry) to Joseph, who takes a prim bite.

“It may run in the family; I think her dad was the one with the ‘Go Army’ shirt.”

“Oh, were we not supposed to be going easy on them?” Indrid cocks his head. The others stare at him in mute shock.

“I’m kidding; I was utterly outmatched in there.” He grins before dragging his tongue up his cone (pineapple and marshmallow). When he reaches the tip he opens his mouth wider, taking it all in with a satisfied moan. He pulls off, stray ice cream dribbling down his chin until Joe hands him a napkin. Indrid thanks him, then proceeds to do the exact same thing, over and over, and Duck realizes neither of the other men have looked away from his boyfriend. Barclay’s legs are now crossed, and Joe’s cheeks are pink. Duck can’t really blame them--he knows exactly what Indrid can do with that mouth--but what’s stranger is he doesn’t feel jealous or annoyed. He knows Indrid sometimes struggles with looking, in his own words, “offputting.” It’s nice to see two other people catch on to just how hot he is.

Then again, he kind of wishes Joe would stop staring and eat his own cone; he wants to see what his tongue can do, too.

---------------------------------------------

“Watcha drawin’?” Duck slides onto the couch next to Indrid.

“Just random images.”

“That us with Joe and Barclay?”

“I, ah, yes it is.”

“Like it a lot. Christ you’re talented, it’s like how much you like us is comin’ right off the page.”

“Is, ah, is that so? I hadn’t noticed, ah, oh dear, I just remembered I need to go call Jake about covering my shift.”

------------------------------------------

Duck: That new barcade is finally open, wanna come with us on Saturday?

Barclay: Wish we could, but we got a friends birthday that night.

Duck: No big, let us know if you want to catch a flick on Sunday

Barclay sets the phone down, not remembering it’s a group text until Joe pokes his head out of the bedroom.

“Shit, whose birthday is on Saturday? We need to get a gift.”

“Oh, uh, no, no one. Just, uh, didn’t feel like going out but didn’t want them to think I was, like, angry or something. Sorry, shoulda asked if you wanted to go without me, shit, that was rude.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind time that’s just for us.” He crosses the living room, fiddles with Barclays hair, “but let me know if you want to see a movie Sunday, I’m happy either way.”

“Uhuh, will do.” Barclay nods, not really paying attention, as he imagines silvery hair in the dark theater and holding slender, cool fingers in his own.

---------------------------------

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t actually have that DVD to loan me?”

“I do” Duck shuts the apartment door behind Joe, “but we got some things to discuss first.” He waits until Joe is sitting next to Barclay (lured here by the promise of cookies) and across from Indrid (lives here, not that hard to lure).

“Look, I don’t think I really gotta point out how weird it is that we went from hangin out every week to not seein’ each other for near a month. But what I do gotta point out is why it’s happenin’.”

“We’ve all been busy?” Joe hazards.

“Yeah, but we all were busy before and we made time for each other. Now we, myself included, are cancelin shit.” He takes a deep breath, “Barclay, Joe, you both got a thing for ‘Drid, don’t you?”

Joe nods while Barclay blushes and mutters, “yeah.”

“And ‘Drid, you got a thing for both of them?”

His boyfriend shifts nervously in his seat, but nods all the same. Barclay looks genuinely surprised.

“Well, you three ain’t the only ones realizin’ you want more than you got. Joe, I, uh, I really like you. As in wanna date you. So, uh, that’s where we’re at.” He sits down next to Indrid, who instantly takes his hand.

“That’s...wait, don’t we all want the same thing?” Joe looks between them, puzzled.

“You’d really be okay with me dating Indrid?” Barclay asks softly.

“We’d both be dating him. And I’d be dating Duck as well as you two. Assuming that was alright with Indrid?”

“....You know, I think it is.” Indrid squeezes Duck’s hand, “I was afraid to admit how I felt; I didn’t want to come between you and Barclay, because you clearly love each other, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Duck. But I’ve also seen how happy he is around you, Joseph; there is no reason we could not all work things out to be happy as a, ah, polycule? Is that the term?”

“Think so.” Barclay relaxes, “fuck, I felt so bad thinking that wanting Indrid would fuck everything up, don’t know what to do with my self now that I’m not stressing about it.”

“I propose we order dinner and just...talk.” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, “I think that will help us sort out where to go from here.”

Duck orders takeout from the Chinese place down the block as Indrid and Joe arrange the living room into a place where they can all sit together comfortably and Barclay grab drinks. Soon they’re gathered on the floor, working out logistics and boundaries and hopes and fears between bites of fried rice and chow mein. Joe keeps notes, curling closer to Duck as the evening goes on.

There’s a part of him that wants to jump straight to sex, to pin Joe to floor and fuck him while his other boyfriends do what they want to him, to Duck, to each other. But this thing between them is a new leaf in spring, vulnerable and just beginning to grow.

So, after dinner, they cuddle up on the couch and floor to watch the midnight movie on local T.V, hands tentatively finding each other and bodies gradually resting closer together in new configurations.

He falls asleep on the floor, Indrid spooning him and Joe resting his head on his belly. Wakes up with Joe curled around him and Barclay cuddled up to Indrid, snoring softly.

Duck slips out of the configuration, pads into the kitchen to start coffee. When Joe sneaks up behind him he gasps, snickers as the taller man kisses him good morning. Then he grabs two mugs, smiling to himself at his luck as he opens the fridge. After all, he already knows just how his new boyfriend likes his coffee.

#meet ugly #OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #agent stern/barclay/indrid cold/Duck newton #agent stern/barclay #indrid cold/duck newton #indruck #sternclay #prompt fills #agent stern/duck newton

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corduroystudy · 4 years

Text

so i said i was going to make a big post with some links to my ~vibes~ playlist and i was expecting it to be big but it’s actually so huge,,,,, whoops!! but under the break are a bunch of playlists that i hope you enjoy :))

weird space beats for weird space teens

this is a gay and trans only event, go home!

movie soundtracks for studying, chilling, etc

teenage angst pt. 1

lofi for studying, chilling, etc.

songs to be lovesick and blue to

songs that would be fun at a halloween party except most don’t really have party energy so maybe like a murder mystery dinner party?? idk regardless, spooky vibes

jazz for studying, chilling, etc

literally a trc fanmix because i miss like 2016 when fanmixes were a thing

you know when your friends texts you and tells you that her shitty (now) ex boyfriend is an asshole and she’s upset and you’re ready to kill a man?? here’s the soundtrack to do so

songs i could imagine being in an indie film soundtrack

if i had a band i would just go to dive bars and perform covers of these songs

just a lot of french music lol

mix of bad bitch and soft bitch music that’s basically just kali uchis’s entire discography

i think it would be sick if my local skating rink used this playlist instead of whatever one they’re using currently

it started off as dark academia but then just kind of turned into like Prententious Indie KidTM music whoops

forest vibesTM

women singing about things and it’s healing and therapeutic and heart wrenching all at once

i went on a trip to a city and made a city vibes playlist while i was there

a theoretical road trip playlist hehehe

new wave 80s aesthetic let goooooooooo

if i were a panic pixie dream boy in a movie i would sing these songs to the moon while playing my ukulele

and if were my life were a coming of age movie i would have a scene where i screamed these songs while driving down the highway at night

women are hot and i am looking respectfully

chill artsy new orleans-eque energy

teenage angst pt. 2

please go read autoboyography by christina lauren i am begging you

you walk into a dinner in the middle of nowhere late at night. you place a quarter in the jukebox and play...

songs to listen to on a rainy night in november

sounds like how neon lights look

a collection of songs about the sun (and then a lot of songs with sunshine vibes)

songs to listen to when everything feels like it’s going wrong but you’re going to keep moving forward simply because you’re petty as fuck

music i feel like an angsty teen in the 80s would listen to

songs that feel like sitting in your friends backyard hanging out during the summer

the best songs to dance around your room too

i am obsessed with leo dicaprio’s version of romeo,,,, here’s a playlist with the same energy

#hehehe i hope you guys like these i spend so much time on my playlists #playlists #music #studyblr #philologystudies #c speaks

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its-pronounced-quoassoint · 5 years

Text

Power Rangers AU-Chapter 2

Pairings: romantic Logicality, Prinxiety, Demus, Remile

This Chapter features: Trans!Logan, Logan centric story line, Logan being a gay disaster for Patton, and Virgil flirting(??)

This Chapter Warnings: mild violence, food mention, panic attack mention, use of deadname, sympathetic Remus

Credit for this AU goes to @when-day-met-the-knight (specifically this post).

If you would like to be added to the taglist for this fic please let me know in reply!

First Next

Chapter 2-Blue

Logan was baffled as to how none of his other friends had picked up on the fact that Roman and Remus were the newest Power Rangers. The two were constantly leaving their friends the second aliens appeared, only for the Green and Red Rangers to appear in battle. Both seemed constantly distracted by news about the Dragon Witch. Whenever a battle was over, Remus and Roman reappeared, most of the time with messy hair and some bruising, one time Remus actually had to limp back to their friends. All of this is without even mentioning how the two react when the topic of the Green and Red Rangers comes up.

Logan took a mental note of the twins' bizzarre behavior when the Rangers were brought up in conversation.

A few days after the new Rangers first appeared Logan, Roman, and a few other friends had decided to meet up at the local grocery store to buy and eat snacks. It didn't take long for the group to bring up the Green and Red Rangers and took even less time for Roman to start completely shutting down. While their friends theorized as to who the Rangers might be, Logan observed Roman as he shut his mouth, blushed a deep red, and left. Only to return twenty minutes later.

Next, Logan noticed that whenever the Green Ranger specifically was brought up, Remus had to interject every few minutes with some form of crude compliment. This behavior wouldn't be too outlandish for Remus, but the compliments began to overlap with compliments that Remus only gave himself.

Lastly, Logan realized that whenever Roman was asked about the Green Ranger he scoffed, much like he does when someone compares him to Remus. While Remus, whenever the subject of the Red Ranger is brought up, crosses his arms, huffs, and falls quiet. Much like he does when someone compliments Roman and not him.

The two were so overwhelmingly obvious about their identities as the Red and Green Rangers that Logan had to wonder if he was the only slightly intelligent person in their town.

When Logan came to the conclusion about his friend, Roman, and friend-by-association, Remus, he accepted it, and decided not to ask. Considering neither of them could keep thier mouths shut-one of the few things the twins had in common-their reasons for not telling the whole world must be important. --- Since school had closed Logan was several times dragged from his home by overly eager friends. This day, Roman had grabbed Logan from his content atmosphere and pulled him into hanging out downtown. Logan and Roman were walking around for a few minutes while Roman chatted about The Prom yet again.

"You wanna get some ice cream from Twisters?" Roman asked.

"At eleven in the morning?" Logan asked.

"C'mon it's like nintey degrees!" Roman groaned.

"Roman it’s barely 70 degrees right now and-“

“Too late! I’m already buying!” Roman took a turn into the Twisters parking lot and walked up to the shop.

“If you were going to buy one no matter what I said, why even ask?” Logan asked.

"It's courteous to at least ask." Roman explained, opening the door for Logan to walk into the ice cream shop.

"Not if you completely disregard what the person's answer is going to be. At that point it's more courteous to not ask." Logan argued.

"Shush-shut up." Roman shushed him by shoving a hand at Logan's face.

"How many times do I have to remind you about personal space Roman?"

"Logan shut it!" Roman whisper-yelled.

"Why?" Logan asked.

"Patton!” Roman whispered a half explination. He quickly went to stand in the small line, clearly trying to hide himself.

"What?" Logan attempted to peer around his friend for a look, but was halted by Roman. "Is Patton here?"

"Definitely." Roman nodded curtly. "Don't look!"

Logan rolled his eyes and looked anyway. Roman was right. Patton Valentine sat in a small booth, typing on a laptop, and occasionally taking a spoonful of ice cream. Logan felt his face heat up drastically and he moved to hide himself in the line like Roman.

Patton Valentine. There was something about this boy that made Logan so confused. Upon first meeting him, Logan got the impression that he was just another bright and ditzy person who would eventually escape Logan’s memories as high school finished.

Within a week that prediction was thrown out of the metaphorical window. In sixth grade Logan had deemed Patton to be his most threatening rival. A rival in what, Logan didn't know, but he was a threat nonethless and Logan had to learn everything about Patton to prepare himself for the moment he turned on Logan.

After spending months, as Roman would call it, 'obsessing' over Patton, he realized the strong feeling he was acting on was not a competitive passion. Instead, it was a deeply developed feeling of adoration and affection. Feelings are so overrated. Logan found himself thinking as he put his hands to his face to try and stop the rush of blood that turned his skin pink.

It was their turn to order and Roman asked the girl at the counter for a chocolate brownie double. Logan asked for a vanilla scoop with jelly on top and the two stood, waiting for their ice cream.

"You're face is so red." Roman snorted a little and laughed.

"Shut it." Logan mumbled, continuing to hide his face farther into his hands. "It was your idea for us to get ice cream."

"Well, I didn't know that the most popular person in the school was gonna be here." Roman seethed. "Do you really think I would have brought us here if I knew ‘Patton-I-have-5-million-subscribers-on-YouTube-Valentine’ was gonna be here!”

"Roman! Logan!"

Logan lifted his head to see who had called their names, though he knew who it was.

Patton was giddily waving at the two, smiling bright. Oh god that smile, Logan's brain betrayed him and quickly tried to clear his head.

"H-hey Patton." Roman squeaked, returning the wave.

"You two wanna sit with me?" Patton asked.

Logan and Roman turned to each other, both exchanging a silent conversation before Roman answered.

"Yeah sure!"

Patton gave the two an even brighter smile and Logan felt the world sway a little. Logan and Roman were given their ice cream and went over to sit with Patton. Logan took careful glances at Patton and noticed a few things. His hair wasn’t typically so curly and his shoes weren't the regular red Vans. They were a neon light blue and reminiscent of Converse high-tops, but had a different logo. Why Patton Valentine was wearing off-brand Converse, Logan had no idea.

"So, what were you working on?" Roman asked. At least Roman can talk.

“Oh! Well my sister Megan works here so I get discounts on ice cream and there's free Wi-Fi. So, I figured I would get some editing done on my next video." Patton explained.

It was quiet for a beat before Logan figured he should say something to make himself less awkward.

“Um, your shoes look new.” Logan started quietly.

“Oh yeah!” Patton brightened up and showed them off to the two. “They’re my new favorite shoes! My mom got 'em for me. She’s so sweet.”

“They look nice on you.” Logan sputtered out.

“Aww, thanks Lo! I think they look pretty snazzy.” Patton giggled. “Look, this is the best part.”

Patton stood up and walked down the isle of the shop, Then turned and briskly walked back the way he came. Suddenly he popped back on his heels and rolled by the table with a smile.

Heelys. He's wearing heelys. Logan thought, confounded by his own mind. Why is him wearing heelys so cute?

"You've got heelys!" Roman cheered.

"Sure do!" Patton giggled, rolling back to their table and and sitting down.

This doesn't make sense. They're probably the most inconvienent, childish form of footwear. Yet when he wears them, I can't think of a single reason as to why he shouldn't. Logan felt his face flush yet again as a small smile betrayed his otherwise stoic face.

"I think I used to have a pair of-"

BOOM

Screaming and sounds of destruction sounded from across the street and everyone turned to see a breach open on the other side of the road. Minions from the Dragon Witch came flooding from the breach and began attacking everything in sight.

"Oh gosh." Logan heard Patton whisper. "Oh no, no, no." The boy continued to trail off.

"I-I-" Roman started. He looked at his friends helplessly before shouting out.

"Everyone run!"

The shocked crowd followed Roman's call and proceeded to race out the back of the shop and run away. Logan looked to Patton, who seemed frozen to his seat, and sent him a pleading look. Patton looked from Logan to the monsters, then back to Logan before shakily standing up and reaching for Logan's hand. At any other time Logan would have been startled by the physical contact and, because it was Patton, could have melted into a mess of blushing and stuttering.

However, given the situation, he instead pulled Patton along with the crowd and brought them out of the shop.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked as they continued to run.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay, just um, just shock." Patton offered.

Logan could tell there was something more, but decided not to press. Instead he focused on running for his life. They continued the run before Logan abruptly stopped. Causing Patton to quickly stop as well so he wouldn’t run into him.

"Roman!" Logan realized. "Roman, we're not with Roman."

"Where'd he go? I thought he was running with us!" Patton looked around, panicked.

"I-I have to go find him." Logan told Patton.

"Okay let's go-"

"No, Patton, you should keep going. I can find him on my own." Logan stated, already turning to leave.

"Logan I'm-"

"Get to safety please!" Logan dropped Patton's hand and started running.

Patton stood staring at Logan, mystified, but did as Logan told him and ran with the crowd to a safe place.

Logan raced back to the shop in search of Roman. When he didn't find him he ran back out of the shop and around the back, only to find Roman standing there, clearly annoyed, looking around nervously. Logan was about to call out to him, but was cut off when Remus ran into the alleyway looking more deshelved than usual.

"Where have you been!?" Roman asked.

"You're not the only one with friends Roman!" Remus retorted.

"You took forever." Roman scoffed.

"You don't have to wait for me!" Remus sneered.

"And go in alone! I don't wanna get killed."

"Oh get over it!" Remus rolled his eyes dramatically and turned to the green band on his wrist. "Green Ranger, activate!!"

Roman waved his arms exasperatedly before turning to his own bracelet. "Red Ranger, activate!!"

Logan watched as the two became shrowded in bright light before revealing themselves to be their respective Rangers. The two hopped into battle and Logan watched, bewildered, yet satisfied. His theory was correct and he just watched his proof run off to fight monsters.

Logan watched the fight unfold. The Black Ranger cut down minion after minion with ease, instructing the other two occasionally. Roman used his sword to bring his enemies to dust and yell at Remus to follow some 'plan'. Remus apparently wasn't following any plan, but still got the job done by smacking monsters with his spiked mace. The minions' numbers seemed to be dwindling, until the breach closed completely and all minions were destroyed. Logan thought the three would fall back and change back out of their Ranger armor, but instead they stood there. Waiting. Then Logan saw it, a clouded black figure appeared on top of the building.

"Prince Virgilius!" Roman addressed the figure.

"Sup Red!" This 'Prince Virgilius' nodded.

Remus snickered, but stopped abruptly when Roman gave him a look.

"You can't keep doing this!" Roman told him.

"You’re so formal Red. Maybe you should lighten up a bit. Don’t be such a copy-paste protagonist! " Virgilius groaned, leaning back.

"You are really formal." Remus agreed.

"Remus-I-just-ah," Roman stuttered a response. "Shut up!"

Eloquient as ever. Logan thought.

Suddenly Virgilius disappeared and reappeared next to Roman, making him scream and jump back.

"Is that like your one trick. Popping up like a creepy villain?!"

"It still gets you so, yeah." Virgilius shurgged and disappeared yet again.

"Can't you take any of this seriously?!" Roman yelled to nothing.

"I mean I could." Virgilius yelled back from a top the ice cream shop. The three Rangers turned. "But you just look so cute when you're mad."

"You can't see my face." Roman pointed out.

"Can we just get on with it please?” The Black Ranger shouted tearing away their attention.

“Yeah seriously, the flirting never gets us anywhere.” Remus stated, annoyance dripping from his voice.

He chucked the mace at Virgilius who disappeared before it could hit him.

"Ugh." Remus growled at the area his mace had missed.

Logan watched as the weapon disappated into green light, only to reappear back in Remus's hand. The three closed together and began looking around for the prince, but no one was found.

"Fan out a little." Roman told the other two.

The Black and Green Rangers nodded and the three split off. Each taking wary steps in different directions, guards up. Logan looked around as well, the hairs on his arms standing up.

A bright flash caught his attention and Logan saw a purple fireball headed straight for Roman. Logan ran from his hiding place and called for Roman to run. The Red Ranger looked his way and Logan tackled his friend to the ground, both of them barely missing the fire ball.

"Logan what are you doing!" Roman shoved Logan away. "You're going to get yourself killed!"

"I just saved your life you ungrateful-" Logan suddenly felt something clasp around his wrist. He looked down.

A bracelet. A simple, fine chain that was glowing brighter by the second.

“Logan!” Roman gasped. “I need you to yell ‘Blue Ranger, activate!’. Now! Do it now!

“I-uh-okay. Um, Blue Ranger, activate!!” Logan let out the words and looked at Roman pleadingly.

Logan was then enveloped by the light and left in a blank world. Armor began covering his body and a blue lance shimmered into existence in front of him. Logan felt his body react before his mind, and he grabbed the lance.

The world came back into view. Logan was standing tall as Roman looked at him excitedly. Logan turned around to see the Green and Black Rangers also staring at him.

He didn’t know what it was, but Logan felt a sense of completeness rush through him. He looked around, a little unsure of what to do, but the other Rangers joined him, standing by his side, ready to defeat the prince.

“Oh come on!! Seriously?!” Prince Virgilius exclaimed in frustration. “Gods help me. How many more of you are there?!”

Logan looked at the other Rangers, waiting a response.

“Our numbers are growing Virgilius! Yours will only dwindle from here! Give up now!” Roman pointed his sword at the enemy.

“Wow.” Virgilius sighed. “I don’t like you.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Roman nodded. “Remus, now!”

Remus chucked his mace at the Prince yet again, only for him to disappear. The Rangers closed ranks yet again, standing back to back, at the ready. Suddenly Virgilius appeared a while away and shot a fireball right at the Black Ranger. Logan swung his lance, stopping the fireball before it could hit the other Ranger.

"Welcome to the team." The Black Ranger told him.

---

Logan was on his way home, and reviewing the information he had been told earlier.

Mr. Sanders-or Thomas as Logan was told to call him-was the Black Ranger. He had been Logan’s guidance counsellor all through high school. Thomas had told Logan about Prince Virgilius and how had been the general of the Dragon Witch’s army for the past few years and proved himself to be as dangerous as the Dragon Witch herself.

Logan was supposed to go back to Thomas’s house tomorrow with Roman and learn more about the morphers and their power. Thomas didn’t want to overwhelm Logan with all of Ranger history, so he sent Logan home.

Logan examined the bracelet that was now wrapped around his wrist. The material it was made of swirled randomly like a kaleidoscope. Logan could stare at it all day, trying to find a pattern.

As he approached his house Logan took a deep breath, ready for what was about to come.

“Maddie!” The voice of his little sister called out from the door. “Maddie come on! Lauren’s trying to make dinner and Mama's on FaceTime!”

“I’m coming Nora.” Logan replied.

He walked up to the house and into the kitchen where it looked like his sister was preparing food.

“Maddie, I swear Lauren’s gonna poison us again if you don’t get over there.”

“Hey!” Lauren protested. “I’m a good cook.”

“Not as good as Maddie though.” Nora said as she passed by.

“Is that Maddie?” The voice is Logan’s mother came from an iPad that was set up in FaceTime. “How’s my favorite daughter?”

“I’m good Mama.” Logan told her.

She couldn’t see it, but Logan’s expression immediately fell as he turned away. With his mom’s job constantly moving her from hotel to hotel, it became easier to avoid coming out to her.

“You know, we’re right here.” Lauren pointed out to her mom.

“Well you’re also the biggest thorns in my side at the moment.” Mama sighed. “Now do what your sister says so she can make dinner.”

Lauren groaned but turned to Logan expectantly.

“Can you just dry off that pan? I’ll make chicken soup and bread.” Logan sighed.

“Sounds great Madds.” Nora called from the couch

“Oh I wish I was there.” Mama sighed.

“We know Mama.” Lauren told her.

“I’m gonna have to turn this thing off and head to bed, but you kids stay safe okay. I heard there was an attack earlier today. I’m just happy none of you got hurt.” Logan’s mom began shuffling papers near her.

“Mama, you don’t have to worry.” Nora yelled from the couch. “The Rangers are here to protect us you know!”

“Well thanks for that.” Mama rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m about three hours ahead of you so I’ve really gotta go. Get home earlier Maddie, maybe I’ll actually be able to talk to you!”

“You got it Mama.” Logan smiled at her, and waved goodbye.

She cut the call and Logan turned to his sisters.

“You’re never gonna tell Mama are you Lo?” Lauren asked sadly, not facing him. “You know she’d be okay with it.”

“Lauren I haven't had the proper chance. I also must point out we don't actually know if she will be okay with me being transgender.”

“If she doesn’t accept you then we’re running away from here. You’re getting into a fancy college and becoming some sort of millionaire.” Lauren finally faced him. “Logan, we’ve got you.”

“I know Laurie. It’s just not the right time.” Logan sighed.

“Alright. That’s okay, I don’t wanna pressure you. I mean it I really don’t. It’s just, she’s gonna start asking questions when she gets home. I don’t want you to go through another panic attack because you aren’t wearing a binder in front of Mama.”

“Lauren.” Nora chastised from the couch. “Would you lay off him.”

“I-I’m sorry Logan. I just-well you-oh-you know what I’m trying to say! I don’t want you to go through that again. I mean you’ve been doing so well this year and it’s the year Mama’s been around the least.”

“Lauren, I know what you’re trying to say.” Logan sighed. “I’ll be okay. I know I can go to you if I get overwhelmed when she gets home.”

Lauren nodded and went back to drying off the recently washed pan.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound insensitive Lo. I really didn't." Lauren started again. "But you know you can't keep this up much longer. She's gonna find out and it's better that it came from you."

"I'm aware."

"Lauren would you just drop it!" Nora called from the couch.

"Okay. I-I," Lauren sighed. "okay. I'm sorry."

"It's natural for you to be worried Lauren, don't feel bad." Logan tried to reassure her.

"Just know when to stop." Nora chided.

It fell quiet after that.

taglist:

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors

@maddarc

@pheonix-inside-reblogs

@thisismysanderssidesblog

@almost-all-my-ships-are-gay

@mostpeopleannoyme

@the-smol-est

#logicality #prinxiety #demus #trans!Logan #power rangers au #thatsthat24 #logan sanders #remile

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