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shina913 · 2 years

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Intersect, Part 10 + Epilogue | KNJ

Intersect, Part 10 + Epilogue

Definition: To meet and cross at a point; To share a common area

✫✫✫Intersect Masterlist✫✫✫

Pairing: KNJ x fem!reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Office!AU; enemies to lovers; fluff; angst; smut; NSFW

Word count: 9K+ words

Warnings: office banter; so-much-freaking-angst; excessive cussing; pining; missed opportunities; bickering; emotional outbursts; crack; airport chase; vulnerable confessions; fluff; hints of long-distance relationship; smut; fingering; mutual self-pleasure; breast play; nipple play; unprotected sex (don't do this); hair-pulling; praise kink; dirty talk; riding; creampie

Summary: You hate him, he hates you. You were both fine staying in your own lanes–until you’re forced to work together on a make-or-break project for your company.

A/N: So...here it is! It's quite the ride! I cannot believe this is the end. I'd like to thank Dee @deepseavibez and my sister--who is my number one offline enabler! You've both been super supportive as I ran ideas past you and sent snippets. I so appreciate all of your feedback and helping me create such a fun and sexy AU. Thank you for allowing me to scream with you about--what's probably one of my favorite fics that I've written so far! 🥰

As you might be able to tell, I love all the guys but I'm an absolute hoe for NamKook. Please enjoy and as always, please leave me feedback! It will come in handy in my next fic 😉 And now--it's wine o'clock! 🍷

Term/acronym notes:

TSA: The Transportation Security Administration is an agency of the United States Department of Homeland Security that has authority over the security of transportation systems within, and connecting to the United States.

The Met: The Metropolitan Museum of Art of New York City, colloquially "the Met", is the largest art museum in the Western Hemisphere. Its permanent collection contains over two million works, divided among 17 curatorial departments.

In math, lines are defined as straight, one-dimensional figures that continue infinitely in opposite directions.

Lines often meet or cross each other at a single point or sometimes known as the point of intersection. After straight lines intersect, there is no way for them to cross each other at another point. They would just continue on, going their separate directions–never to meet again, unless you go past the unknown confines of the plot area and given other variables involved.

However, if one of those lines were curved, that curvilinear line may cross the other at two or more points, much like how a river crosses multiple state or regional borders.

An intersection curve consists of the common points of two transversal intersecting surfaces, meaning that at any common point the surface norms are not parallel. And although the lines would not cross that same first point, the fact remained–they would meet again at a different one.

******

“Are you sure you’ve got it?” You look at your brother pointedly after you run through all of your final reminders for the Nth time in the last couple days.

“Yes, Noona.” He rolls his eyes while sitting on your couch, playing his video game. Jungkook already had a few scheduled job interviews in the next two days. One was with a locally-based animation studio that produced internationally-acclaimed movies and the other with a social media conglomerate.

“Okay. Can you pause that and repeat everything that I just told you.” You called out from your kitchen. It was going to be the last few times you’d be cooking in this space–at least until you leave home for a year the following day. You check the oven for the bo ssam that you have been roasting since this morning.

Jungkook sighs in annoyance. “Rent is due every 30th of the month, unless it’s February. Call the building manager if the plumbing acts up again. No loud music, no parties, and…” he pauses while scrunching his nose to remember your final reminder.

You look up and turn around after you set the roasting pan on the counter.

“Jungkook–the last point is the most important.”

“Uhh…no girls?”

You sighed. “Nobody cares if you bring a harem here–as long as you clean up after yourself and stay safe.”

He grimaces. “Uhm…” You see his eyes wander while he racks his brain for the answer.

You groaned then pointed wryly to the exhaust fan above the stove.

“Ahh!” He finally remembers. “Always turn the fan on when cooking or the smoke alarm won’t shut up,” he grins proudly.

You nodded. “Good.”

He quits his game and walks over to the breakfast counter, leaning on it and watching you prepare the sides for your dinner. “You know I’ll be fine, right, Noona? I mean…I fended for myself at university for years. Just…trees and nature. What difference would the big city make?”

Since you’d only be gone for a year and your apartment was actually rent-controlled, you didn’t want to just let it go. So you managed to convince your brother to move into your place–to maintain the upkeep and to open himself up to opportunities in the city.

He decided to jump into the workforce and eventually enroll in grad school if the situation called for it–especially for career advancement.

You told him you’d pay the rent since you’d practically be making bank in a few months but Jungkook being who he is, said that once he got a full-time job, he’d take care of the bills. He’s always tried to be self-sufficient.

“I know you’ll be fine. I’m just–me, I guess. I worry about you all the time,” you admitted.

“Nothing to worry about,” he shrugs. “I have a new home for now–thanks to you. I’m also getting a job soon, hopefully. While you, on the other hand, will be jetting off around the world. If anything, I should worry about you, Noona.”

You chuckled. “I’ll be okay, Kookie. Besides, I’ll try to get home every fourth week–or every other month, at the very least. Haejin was completely fine with that.”

There was a palpable energy in the room. Many unspoken words and emotions still hung in the air–even after you had screamed and yelled out many of them at him this weekend. You wanted him to hear and feel your pain. In the end, you were none the wiser.

While you absently arranged the side-dishes, you felt your brother’s hands envelop you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder, sighing into your ear. He was much taller than you–and he reminded you of that often. But it was moments like this where he didn’t mind making himself small again.

“I’m sorry, Noona.” He wanted to make things better for you. He had been lighthearted about this whole situation–until you arrived back at your place.

Your palm patted his cheek lovingly. “It’s not your fault, Kookie.”

“I wished things had turned out differently,” he murmurs softly.

You touched your head closer to his. “Yeah...you and me both,” you smile sadly.

You stood like that for seconds until you felt one of his arms reach around you and spot it pinching a piece off the roast to shove it in his mouth. He hums enthusiastically in appreciation. “C’mon, Noona. Let’s kill this bo ssam before it gets too cold!”

He pulls away from you, gives you a kiss on the cheek before grabbing the heavy dish and bringing it to the dining table.

******

“Very good insights, Jimin. Not only are your recommendations on the preliminary findings strongly supported by your quantitative analysis but I really love how you tied it in with the organization’s mission and vision. I’d be shocked if the client didn’t seriously take any of these suggestions to heart to make changes to their program.”

Jimin gives a quick bow then smiles proudly. “Thank you, director-nim. I learned from the best,” he says with a sweet crinkle in his eyes.

Celina beams at how much your guidance has impacted your team’s research approach and writing. If you had stuck around longer, she could only dream about how many more junior staff you’d be able to mentor.

“I miss her, too, Jimin,” she says earnestly.

Jimin proceeds to take his seat as Mirai gives him a smile and reassuringly squeezes his shoulder. Celina runs through the rest of the agenda items for the next half hour before she dismisses everybody.

“Alright–great work, everyone, as always. And please, don’t forget that we have a couple new candidates for our philanthropic efforts area who are scheduled to come in for interviews next week.”

Jimin and Mirai’s heads shoot up at the sound of that. It’s only been a couple days and there are already a couple of nibbles after your position was posted publicly for applicants.

“I know that Jisoo sent everyone the seminar reminders so, please, please attend the job talk in-person, if you can. I’m opening it up to mid-level and junior staff this year so we can really get some good input from everyone. We want the best–or at least someone close to it,” she says in a semi-resigned tone.

Everyone murmurs in agreement before they start to file out of the conference room.

“Namjoon?”

He halts his steps and looks back at her after she calls out to him.

“A word, please?”

He nods and walks up to the head of the table where she remained seated. She prompts him to take the seat adjacent to her and waits until they are completely alone.

She looks up at him from her cat-eye rimmed glasses. “So…let’s talk about your presentation.”

He groans and sighs. “I apologize. I know that it sounded a bit…uninspired–”

“I think the terms you’re looking for are ‘robotic’ and/or ‘lifeless’.”

Namjoon grimaces then shifts uncomfortably. “Ah–honestly, I’ve just been tired and I was trying to put several fires out today–I just didn’t prepare enough. That’s my bad and I promise to fix that before the final run-through next week.”

Celina paused while regarding him intently. She then slides her glasses off, sets them on the table then sighs.

“Namjoon-ah, if I may?”

In many ways, he had looked up to Celina as a valuable mentor in the last few years and has learned many things about the business in their years of working together. For Celina, as much as Namjoon learned from her, she learned a few things from him as well. They both had mutual respect for the other.

“We’ve worked together a long time, correct?”

He nods.

“And after all these years, we’ve developed a certain level of trust, wouldn’t you agree?”

He nods again.

She turns and angles her chair to face Namjoon directly. She gave him a warm smile and a look–not as a superior to her subordinate but more of an older sister trying to have a conversation with a younger brother. She sighs softly before she begins. “Look…I know that we may not have the same relationship as you do with Hoseok but I’d like to think that you’d still listen to my advice, unsolicited or not.”

Namjoon knew what this was about. He was obviously dragging this weight around ever since he got back to the city from one of the shittiest weekends ever. He braced himself.

“You know…sometimes the best answers aren’t necessarily the most educated ones,” she looks at him pointedly.

He looks at her quizzically.

“And you don’t always have to go with the most logical, most sound decision,” she continues.

This was getting to be too much for him. He spent the rest of the weekend sulking–as if he hadn’t already received a good verbal lashing from you. “Celina–I know where you’re getting at.”

“No, Namjoon. You don’t. Because otherwise, you wouldn’t be sitting here in front of me right now.”

He scrunches his face in confusion. “Huh? I’m–we have a client briefing? Where else would I need to be?”

“I mean…you shouldn’t have given her up that easily.”

Namjoon sighs then hangs his head. “I…I tried, Celina. But–I think I was just too late,” he says quietly.

“Then you didn’t try hard enough,” she says sternly.

He shook his head. “She’s done with me, noona. And she’s leaving today. I can’t–-”

“Why would you do such a thing, Joon?”

He puffed out his cheeks and blew out a breath. “I did it because I didn’t want to be selfish. I didn’t want a repeat of what happened with Mayumi. I just kept doing what I wanted without asking her if it was what she actually wanted. With YN… you know, I’m ahead of the curve,” he shrugs. “I don’t have to make her wait around for years to realize that she could be doing something else.”

Celina furrows her brows. “Well, that’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

Namjoon leans back on his chair, taken aback by his superior’s blunt language.

She nodded. “You heard me. And I bet you she told you the same thing–or something to that effect.”

He didn’t argue–because she was right. In an effort to keep history from repeating itself, he inadvertently brought it with him to the present instead. It wasn’t the outcome that he had intended.

“What have you always said, Namjoon-ah? You know, whenever you talk to new-hires or when you mentor younger staff–what do you tell them?”

“Don’t confine yourself to a box.”

“Don’t confine yourself to a box,” Celina echoes slowly.

He sighs then laughs humorlessly. “I just let her go–how is that confining her into a box?”

“We’re not talking about her,” she says gently before leaning back against her seat, her eyes glued to him.

He sits there, eyes wide, mouth hanging open before he chuckles. “Celina, I am not–”

She shuts down his protests. “All these years, you repeat it like a mantra and yet here you are–boxing yourself in. You’re haunted by your past, Namjoon. I get it. You hurt somebody that you loved before and now you want to punish yourself–thinking you don’t deserve another chance. You’re not being fair to yourself.”

He flexed his jaw. “I figured I could get by just fine–kind of like you. You’ve always been able to keep a straight face–after what happened to you and Yoongi before.”

She laughed out loud. “You make it seem as if it was a walk in the park!”

“Wasn’t it? I mean–doesn’t it get easier? Eventually?”

She groaned. Women were built differently than men were. Women experience more pain in their lifetime compared to men, especially during their reproductive years. It wasn’t just a sad fact of life but it was scientific as well. Studies have found that the female body has a more intense natural response to painful stimuli, indicating a difference between genders in the way pain systems function. Biologically, researchers have also pointed out that a greater nerve density present in women may cause them to feel pain more intensely than men.

“No, Namjoon. The pain dissipates but–it’s always there. Especially when that pain is–earth-shatteringly unforgettable.”

Namjoon’s eyes flick downwards.

“I tried–I really did. And I thought I was fine…until…he was back in my life again. All of a sudden I–I just couldn’t help but yearn for him again. And even though I kept trying to talk my brain out of it–my heart just kept pulling me back towards him.”

At that point, Namjoon wondered if Celina ever knew about your fling with Yoongi…or if he had ever told her. And perhaps, even if she knew, maybe she didn’t really care at that point any longer since she got him back in the end.

“Do you want to be with her?”

Namjoon buries his face in his hands. “Yes,” he finally says after a long pause.

“Then go and be with her!” she exclaims.

“But what if–”

“Deal with the what-ifs as they come, Namjoon. This isn’t like a program or code that you and Hobi run all the time that spits out a predictive pattern of what the next few days or years would look like. Love is unpredictable. There’s no pattern to it. It just is.”

Namjoon looks up at her with determination but a hint of uncertainty. “I…I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” he says sullenly.

“Well–I’d start off by revisiting that generous benefits package that we gave to you when you got hired. You’ve been with us a while…When’s the last time you took a break?”

******

You give your brother a big hug before you go through the security line. It was a good three hours before your flight–a bit excessive, he thought, but he’d be damned if he ever tried to contradict you when it came to air travel logistics. “Thank you, Kookie.”

He hums into your shoulder. “You’re welcome. Please call me when you get there, okay?”

You nod and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Love you, butthead. And stay out of trouble!”

He snickers. “Love you, too, Noona.”

He watches while you make your way through the winding nylon-strapped barricades. Although it wasn’t too crowded by your standards, you always tried to get to the airport two hours before your flight to quell some pre-boarding jitters.

After the TSA agent checks your identification and boarding pass, he waves you past the barricade to get on a line to set your personal items and carry-on luggage onto a conveyor belt before walking through the body scanner.

“Please make sure that you empty your pockets. If you have large, electronic devices, put them in their own trays before pushing them through the machine to scan,” the TSA agent announces to all travelers.

“Excuse me, miss?”

You look around making sure that he wasn’t addressing anybody else. You look up at the agent and point to yourself. “Me?”

“Yes. Are you sure you want to hang on to that?”

You look at where his attention is directed at and find that you were still hanging on to your phone.

“Oh, oops!” You then turn it off and tuck it into your purse that was already in one of the trays headed to the conveyor belt. You murmur your apologies and the security staff gives you a small smile–it was a relatively normal occurrence.

******

“C’mon, YN…pick up. Pick up!” Namjoon mutters while he holds his phone to his ear as he paces back and forth in front of the office building, waiting for his rideshare.

His calls to you kept going straight to voicemail and he starts to panic thinking that he’s completely missed his chance. Before he headed downstairs, he asked Jimin and Mirai if they knew anything about your itinerary–and although each of them had their own reservations about him, they were honest with him and told him that they had no idea.

When the car finally arrives in front of him, he gets in, while dialing your number a few more times.

******

You stood behind a few people, with your socks on the questionably gray carpet. One traveler had apparently packed all of the liquids imaginable in his carry-on luggage. You rolled your eyes as you watched him empty out each container.

Just before this one, another person had brought, erm…some ‘special electronics’ that showed up prominently on the scan. Once the agents pulled their luggage out of the line to open it for inspection, they found that the items in question contained multiple, disposable lithium-ion batteries.

You were embarrassed for them, admittedly. On the other hand, you were glad that you had the presence of mind to check-in your own ‘special electronics’. If someone had to inspect your things, at least you wouldn’t be standing there with hundreds of people staring.

You finally walk through the body scanner. As you step off the platform, you wait a few seconds while they review the image. You are then waved off by the security staff to proceed and retrieve your things. After you put your shoes back on and sling your backpack and purse on your shoulder, you turn around once more and wave goodbye to your brother–who stands on the other side of the glass before you head off to your flight’s boarding gate.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Namjoon curses at his phone–then he suddenly gets an idea. He dials a number on his phone.

As Jungkook pivots and prepares to leave, his phone rings. He fishes it out of his pocket and knits his brows as he makes out the caller ID. Principle compels him to reject the call. But empathy propelled him to push the green button to answer.

“Hyung?”

******

The gate was still empty when you arrived. You parked yourself by a counter and set up your laptop to check emails. Indeed, there were already a few from Haejin and KimCorp’s HR team welcoming you with some onboarding documents.

While you get lost in reviewing them, you didn’t even realize that you forgot to turn your phone back on.

******

“Yes, but–couldn’t we just reason with them and tell them I just need a few minutes?” Namjoon rambled.

He then turns to Jungkook. “Or, or–maybe we can tell her to come back out?”

Jungkook shakes his head slowly. “Oh, hyung–you’re talking about asking YN-noona to come out after she’s gone through that security line from hell?” He shudders, eyes laced with a tinge of fear.

Namjoon runs his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Any luck with her cell?”

Jungkook grimaces. “She must not have turned it back on after getting past security check,” he says as he attempts to dial your number again–which, to no surprise, goes straight to voicemail. Again.

Namjoon mutters to himself then turns his attention to the ticketing agent standing behind the counter. “Are there any more flights to New York City scheduled to leave within the next couple hours?”

“Sir–I’m really sorry, but those flights are sold out today. It's summertime so–it’s a bit of a busy season. Might I suggest a different flight?” The ticketing agent says apologetically.

Namjoon groans and buries his head into the crook of his elbow while he leaned onto the counter for support.

The ticketing agent takes pity on him. “We can get you a refundable ticket? If…if you just want to get in there?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows lift and he turns to Namjoon. “What do you say, hyung?”

He looks up. “Fine. Give me one ticket to whatever cheapest destination that you have.” He says as he pulls his wallet out.

“Just one? You hold me up at the airport and I don’t get to see how this plays out?” Jungkook says with a slight pout.

Namjoon sighs. “Two tickets, please.”

The agent types into her computer then looks up at both men after the results turn up on her screen. “I assume neither of you have your passports currently?”

Both men shook their heads.

“Okay, but you have your driver’s license or a state-issued ID, right?”

Both men nodded.

“So...I have two tickets to Las Vegas.” She looks at them pointedly.

“Sounds like fun!” Jungkook says excitedly.

Namjoon gives Jungkook a wry look.

“I mean–you know–if we were actually going,” he mumbles to himself.

******

Seconds after they get through the security line, they run around haphazardly across the terminal.

“Jungkook-ah, do you remember which gate she was at?”

“Sorry, hyung–my memory is not very good under stress,” he winces. “I think–she said–A30?”

“Fuuuuckk–I forgot how many gates were in this terminal!” Namjoon barks as they run, then stop to look around each gate, trying to find out if you’d be there.

“...Or—was it B30?”

Namjoon freezes then whips his head around at Jungkook. “Did you say ‘B’? Jungkook–’B’ means she could be in the next terminal! Meaning we have to take a tram there!” He yells in a panic.

Jungkook flinches and Namjoon realizes that he was projecting his own frustration at the one person who was trying to help him.

“I–I’m sorry, Jungkookie. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just–”

“I know, hyung.”

Namjoon sinks down, his full weight sitting on his hamstrings. “I really fucked it up with her, didn’t I?”

Jungkook mirrors Namjoon’s position. “Hey–it ain’t over ‘til it’s over, hyung. When have you ever backed down when it came to her?”

He looks at the younger one in curiosity.

Jungkook chuckles. “For two years, I’ve listened to her bitch about you. Almost every night…without fail. ‘Namjoon this, Namjoon that–Fuck him!,’” he mocks your voice. “You were like a puzzle she couldn’t crack. It drove her absolutely nuts! Then–when I finally got to know you, I realized that,” he snickers, “You were basically the same…like lines running parallel against one another. All you needed was to…tilt a little bit to make contact.”

Namjoon lets his words sink in. He didn’t realize how deeply Jungkook felt. He knew at that moment that he had to try. It was a shot in the dark but he had to try. He had to.

Jungkook rises and stretches his hand out to help Namjoon up. “C’mon, hyung. It’s a good thing noona likes to get to the airport extra early. We could still catch her.”

Namjoon takes his hand and straightens up. “I guess. Otherwise, if this doesn’t work out, at least we’ll have flight vouchers to Vegas?”

Jungkook shrugs as they proceed to walk through the terminal, checking each subsequent gate they pass.

******

You had since moved to a corner of your boarding gate as a couple began to argue while you tried to work quietly on your laptop. You stuck your headphones in and continued to plug away at your emails that kept coming in.

“This is not gonna work, Jungkook,” Namjoon says. “I just saw on one of the monitors that one of the flights to New York City had just finished boarding–”

“Don’t lose faith, hyung–we’ll find her!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know–I’m just–I can’t think.” He looks up and sees that they are only halfway through the terminal and there are about 10 more gates down the line.

Jungkook sees him crumbling in frustration at the sight of how much further they have to go. In an act of desperation, Jungkook takes a deep breath…then screams at the top of his lungs.

“YN-noonaaaaaaaaa!!!”

Seconds later, several people peek out of a few gates to see what the commotion was about.

You faintly hear something that sounded like an alarm or a screech through your noise-canceling headphones but thought nothing of it until you saw some passengers from your boarding gate rush over to the center of the terminal aisle.

Thinking it was an emergency and coupled with your intense fear of missing out, you get up from your corner and walk towards where people started to crowd, craning your neck to take a look.

You gasped in horror as you spotted two knuckleheads standing in the middle of the terminal, blindly searching through the crowd.

You were mortified and seriously considered getting back into your corner and pretending that you did not know these people. But as soon as you lock eyes with your brother, you see him tug at Namjoon’s jacket to call his attention and murmur something to him.

“I think that worked out well, look!” He looks pleased with himself while he points right at you.

You cursed under your breath. “Why me?”

Namjoon turns around, along with hordes of other people, to see you standing at Gate A33, looking like daggers were about to shoot out of your eyes.

“Now it’s your turn, Namjoon-hyung,” he says while patting him on the shoulder as onlookers start to disperse.

******

Jungkook left you and Namjoon to talk in a quiet corner in a recently emptied gate. There was at least another hour before your flight was scheduled to begin boarding. You sat side by side, him facing you, while you looked straight ahead.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, Namjoon.” You said under your breath.

You weren’t sure how you’d live this embarrassment down. Thankfully you were able to explain yourselves to airport security and made up an excuse saying that your brother had a rare illness that made him prone to sudden emotional outbursts. Once they were able to deduce that neither of you were armed nor had any questionable histories, they let you all off with a stern warning.

“Please–I just need you to listen for a minute. If you think I’m still full of shit, I will carry you to the boarding gate myself.”

You sighed deeply before you turned your head in his direction. After tense emotions from last weekend, you weren’t sure what else to expect from him. You were still feeling raw and emotional since your outburst. Truthfully, you were anxious about what he had to say. You weren’t sure how much more emotional trauma you could handle before a cross-country flight.

“YN, I fucked up. You were right…I saw all of the similar signs from last time and alarm bells just went off in my head. It freaked me out. I thought that I was trying to protect us both from getting hurt. After all that, we got hurt anyway.”

He looks up at you and seeing as he still holds your attention, he continues.

“Somebody knocked some sense into me–practically bashed me over the head with it…repeatedly.”

He sees a ghost of a smile on your face. That modest reaction from you already makes his heart swell tenfold. It propels him forward.

“I spend a lot of time trying to make smart decisions. Logical determinations. I use the same problem-solving approach as I do in all of my data analysis, and apply it to my real life. Many times, I get too caught up in the details and miss the big picture.”

The irony wasn’t lost on you. This same man who appreciated Georges Seurat’s paintings–would rather spend all of his energy examining a cluster of dots rather than stepping back to view the portrait as a whole.

“I’d be staring up at the trees–when I really should have been looking at the whole forest.”

Your eyes softened but you didn’t lower your guard completely. You were still hurt by what he did.

He rubs his moist palms onto his pant legs. “Sorry–I’m…I’m just nervous.” His lids flick downwards. You affected him just as much as he affected you.

“It’s okay. You can…keep talking to me about trees…or pictures,” you gently urged him.

He slowly peers up at you from between loose strands that lightly brushed over his eyelashes when he blinked. After a beat, he found the strength to hold your gaze. “I love you, YN.”

It took all of your energy not to slap him then–but at the same time you also wanted to grab his face and kiss him. Your breath hitched and you bit your lip at his declaration. You still loved him–you never really stopped. But you were in an incredibly difficult position.

“Namjoon–”

“I knew it right when I got on that plane to come see you. I’ve never done anything so impulsive in my life. You…make me feel all of these things and because of that, I can’t think straight.”

He leaned in closer to you. “But I don’t mind it all because…I’m crazy about you. Screw logic and practicality. You make me happy. And I know I hurt you–because I’m a huge idiot. But I promise to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

He was making an earnest plea and you could see that he meant every word. But the fact remained–you had a flight to catch and a new job that you had to learn.

“Namjoonie…you know this doesn’t change things just like that, right? I’m…I’m still leaving and taking this job. I’m going to be away for most of the year–”

“I know,” he replies.

Your eyebrows flick up at him. “So–you’d be okay with long-distance?”

“No,” he says simply.

Your face twisted in confusion. “Then…how would you make this up to me?”

“I’ll come with you.”

Now you were really confused. “H-how?”

“See, this is where Logical Namjoon comes in,” he says with a knowing smile.

“I put in my papers for a sabbatical–Celina suggested it.”

Your eyes widen at his revelation.

“I’m just waiting for HR to approve it–which they will. I just have to take a few weeks to make arrangements to cover my projects and–”

“Wait,” you interject. He had told you about how Mayumi resented him for holding her back from her ambitions and essentially feeling forced to move her life around.

“I–I don’t want you to make all of these changes for me. Because then I’d feel guilty about you trying to mold your life to fit mine.”

He shakes his head adamantly before reaching out tentatively to take your hand. “This is different. You didn’t ask me to do this. I made this choice. And I choose to be with you, YN.”

Your hand squeezes his in reaction. “Joonie, I…I don’t know what to say.” For once, in all your years of bickering with him, you were at a loss for words.

“Tell me you want to be with me, too? Otherwise, I’ll run out into the tarmac and just have one of those planes run me over,” he chuckles nervously.

You stared at him for a beat then smacked him on his chest. “God, of course, I want to be with you!”

He beams at you, both dimples in full display. “Really?”

You nodded.

“Then c’mere and kiss me then,” he says cheekily.

You respond to his sudden smugness with a cocked eyebrow and matching scowl.

He dropped his voice so only you could hear. “Keep looking at me like that and see what happens.”

Your face heated up under his gaze and you instinctively pressed your thighs together. Swallowing hard, you quickly glance over to where your brother stood–he was a fair distance away, distracted by his phone. “You wouldn’t dare–”

His brow quirks before his eyes dart over to the gender-neutral bathroom in the corner. “Wouldn’t I?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to refocus. “While that is incredibly tempting…” Your brows quirk up and your eyes flick over to where your brother was, still busy scrolling through on his phone.

Namjoon smiled. “I can hop on a plane in a couple days? Spend the weekend with you?”

You exhale sharply. “That’s all great, Joon. And believe me, there’s nothing that I want more than to be with you right this second…”

“But?” He asks carefully.

“But–I want to make sure that this is what you really want. We’ve…we’ve said words to each other before this. Words that we can’t take back,” you stare at him intently.

“I know. But it still doesn’t change how I feel.”

“Neither does it change how I feel,” you quickly added to assure him. “But like you said, you don’t want to make snap decisions. You have to carefully consider everything.”

He nods. “I have. And–every angle, every possibility I’ve thought of…still includes you.”

Your heart soars. Days ago, this same man brought you to tears. It pained you to still have some leftover doubts from how everything had gone down.

But he was here in front of you, breaking every self-preservation rule he’s ever set for himself. It counted for something—and you weren’t about to disregard that.

He smiles earnestly. “How ‘bout this? If you’re okay with it, I’ll book a flight…I’ll stay for a weekend–we can talk some more.” His thumb works circles around your hand that he still held. “I know that one conversation won’t fix everything–”

“But it’s a start,” you finish with a smile.

“Yes, it is,” he agrees. “We’ll take it slow–whatever’s comfortable–”

Your eyebrow quirks up. “Now you say you want to take it slow? You? Who basically just threatened me with a bathroom quickie minutes ago?”

He laughs heartily. That low, sexy rumble from within his chest that you missed. “Can’t blame me for being a romantic,” he teases.

Right then, you hear your flight being called to board on the loudspeaker.

******

After giving him a lecture about public embarrassment, you give your brother another hug goodbye before turning to your tall human, who cups your face in his hands and kisses you softly. When he pulls away, he sighs, then presses his forehead against yours.

“I’ll see you soon,” you say.

He groans. “Four days will be torture.”

You smiled cheekily while you rested your hands on his chest. “I’ll call you when I get to the condo.”

“Okay,” He nodded.

“Just…” you paused for a beat, thinking of what to say before you headed back to the boarding gate. “Hurry up and get back to me, okay?”

He smiles warmly. “I’ll be back in your arms before you know it.” The butterflies in your belly flutter while you watch his dimples sink deeper into his cheeks. “I love you.”

“Love you.” You gave him another quick peck before you backed away from him to walk closer to the entranceway to the jet bridge.

Unlike the last time that you walked away from him, this time held a bit more promise. There were still a lot of things that you had to feel out together. A lot of unknowns…a lot of possible unknown variables. But one thing was sure–was that you’d figure them out together.

******

Namjoon arrived after the end of a busy first week for you. Between the jet-lag and all of the new information that you had to learn, you just wanted to take it easy. You didn’t want Namjoon to feel like he had to stay with you, especially since he’d been talking about exploring the new collection from The Arts of Korea exhibit at The Met.

“I’m telling you, I’m perfectly fine staying in with you–as long as you don’t mind.”

You smiled while you were both sprawled on the couch in your sweats, with the TV on. You sat on one end with your head leaning back on the arm rest, your knees folded up comfortably against your chest while he was on the opposite end with his legs stretched over the ottoman.

You chuckled. “This must be killing your extravert energy.”

He laughs before taking both your ankles, stretching your legs and propping them on his thighs.

“I’m comfortable. That’s all that matters,” he smiles. “Did you have a good day, at least?”

You nodded. It was a trying few days and at the end of each one, he called to check in with you, saying words of encouragement and reassuring you that this was just first-week jitters.

You hummed while he rubbed your tired legs soothingly. “I missed you,” you said softly as you leaned your head on the cushion to the side.

He smiled at you. “You did?” You nodded and closed your eyes as he kneaded your sore calves gently. “That feels nice,” you sighed.

Like clockwork, you feel a twitch by where your feet rested. Your eyes fly open to find him shifting uncomfortably.

You giggled and withdrew your feet from his lap while he readjusted himself.

“Uhm–are you okay?”

He sighs, glancing at his straining hardon, seemingly at a loss. “Sorry. Just need a minute.”

“Since when are you shy all of a sudden?” You teased.

“Since we talked about taking it slow,” he reminds you.

You sit for a few seconds in awkward silence, while you steal glances at him. “D-do you need help? Ice, maybe?” you suggest off-handedly.

“Nah, no–I’m…I’m fine,” he says as he pulls his legs off the ottoman to try and hide the distraction.

You leaned back on the couch, watching him intently while he kept his eyes glued to the TV screen.

A ghost of a smile plays at your lips and you shift from your position on the couch.

Somehow, Namjoon sees you out of the corner of his eye. “W-what are you doing?”

He watches while your hand is down past your waistband, moving subtly underneath the material.

“What do you think?” You answer his question with another, your voice already coated with surging arousal. Your hand moves in a pattern familiar only to you–circling, rubbing.

Namjoon couldn’t take his eyes off you while your own eyes rolled to the back of your head, lolling from the pleasure from your own ministrations.

“I…I thought we were going to take it slow?” He says almost inaudibly.

You moaned softly. “We said nothing about touching ourselves.” Your breath hitches as you dip two of your fingers to your cunt, using your own slick to pleasure yourself further.

Before he knew it, he was pulling himself out from his own sweats, stroking himself. Your mouth started to water uncontrollably.

“You said you missed me,” he rasped.

“Yes,” you said breathlessly as you started to grind your hips against your palm.

“I missed you, too…a lot,” he gives the tip of his cock a squeeze. “I miss being inside you.”

You feel your panties soak through. You lift your hips and slide your sweats and panties off, tossing them wherever–you’d worry about it tomorrow.

“Fuck,” he hisses out while he watches you spread your thighs in front of him, picking up where you left off.

You clench your teeth while you continue to massage your clit while he looks on. You couldn’t pull your eyes off him either–watching the tip of his cock engulfed in his palm. The combination of rubbing and squeezing brought a flush to his face, while he groaned in pleasure. You pressed your thighs together as your free hand slid up your t-shirt to rub over your aching breasts.

Your legs relax and knees fall to your sides in a lewd way, giving him a full view.

“Is that what I do to you?” He asks.

You played coy even though you were absolutely hot for him at this moment. “Sometimes, yes.”

He smirked. “This is what you do to me–all the time.” He cupped his balls in one hand and his cock in the other. You salivated further at the visual.

You alternated sliding your fingers into your core, curling your fingers up, massaging that ache–wishing it was his dick instead.

Oddly, you found it intimate–as intimate as when he was inside you, maybe more so because you were both wide open and on display. Your pleasures reflected in each other.

“Fuck taking it slow,” you finally blurted out. You then moved quickly–almost at the speed of light to where he sat, to straddle his hips.

You caught his mouth in a lush, deep kiss. You pushed your fingers into his hair to hold him still while he kissed you back, his tongue sliding along yours.

Pulling away, you pull your shirt and bra off quickly while you watch him pull his own hoodie off and toss it away. You lift yourself slightly while your hand reaches below to line him up to your center. Slowly, you sank into him.

His head lolls to the back of the couch, his mouth goes slack while you take him in deeper. Once you took him to the hilt, you gripped his shoulders. Your hips moved off their own volition, instinct was taking over. Your thighs clench and release while you focus only on the moment–reclaiming his body…and his heart.

His arms banded around you possessively—holding you in place, halting your movements, taking you by surprise. He leans forward once more, until your lips touch.

Irritated and impatient, you gasped, “Why are you stopping—“

His expression hardens. He knew you wanted to cum, badly. “No, baby…we said, slow,” he says lazily against your mouth.

His voice commanded authority—the same voice he reserved to object or argue during meetings—it was a warning to others that it would be a tactical mistake to challenge him…which you frequently ignored. This time, you were all too willing to pay attention.

He hitched his hips, rubbing against you. The friction of his thickness surging and grinding into you was too much for you to stay still for too long. You bucked your hips in perfect sync with his leisurely movements. Your senses fully spiked with arousal.

He worked you with his cock, exploiting friction, changing angles and depth of penetration. The nuances of his skill were evident whenever he watched you writhe beneath him. For now, he was only focused on the sensations he stoked in your body. You were definitely feeling him now.

He was always so attuned to your body despite all of that time that passed when you were apart. A whimper escaped your lips, mouth suddenly parched at the promise of an orgasm while he fucked you slowly and raw.

“That’s it,” he murmured, “Keep rubbing your cunt against me like that.”

“Fuck…Joon…” Your hands were gliding all over his chest and shoulders, your body arching and grinding into his.

“Oh, shit–you’re close…I can feel it.” His breathing, equally becoming labored as he feels your walls clench repeatedly around him.

Damn him for being so familiar with how your body worked.

You came again with a long and drawn-out moan, the tension breaking in a rush of relief.

His mouth covered yours, drinking in the sounds that you made as you jerked on top of him. You clutched his hair, kissing him hard while you rode out the rest of your high.

Somewhere between catching your breath and coming out of your orgasmic haze, you felt yourself lift off the couch. Were you flying? What was going on?

Next thing you knew, your back hit the plush covers on your bed.

He sits back on his heels and watches you for a moment, waiting for you to come back to your senses. You blink up a couple of times at him.

He then taps on your knees gently. “Open up,” he ordered.

Your pulse quickened as you obeyed him, allowing your thighs to fall open. The feeling of vulnerability under his piercing gaze was so intense. You were absolutely entranced.

He stroked a finger through your folds, gliding teasingly over your clit. “You like that?” he asked softly.

Your belly quivered at the rasp in his voice. You shivered as the tip of his finger circled the clenching opening. “Hmm…yes.”

Eyes dancing with delight, he slid a finger ever-so-slowly inside. He made a low purring noise and caught his lower lip between his teeth, a purely erotic look as he watched your face contort in pleasure.

The pleasure of his touch spread, tightening that familiar knot in your stomach and hardening your nipples. You clutched your bare breasts in your hands, squeezing them as they swelled.

His finger went deeper. Heat swept over your skin like a fever. Hovering over you, he placed one hand on the mattress and lowered his mouth to yours. His thumb pressed against your clit and rubbed expertly, massaging you inside and out.

He nipped at your jaw, then moved to your chest, nudging your hands aside with his lips. He claimed your nipple in a gentle bite, his mouth surrounding the tender peak and sucking softly. The ache he created within you was so sharp.

“More, please” you gasped, needing his pleasure as much as your own.

“Always so greedy, huh,” he murmured, his mouth curving in a wicked smile against my skin.

You groaned in frustration. “I want your cock inside me, now.”

“As you should.” He dragged his mouth across your chest and curled his tongue around your other nipple, flickering teasingly over it until it ached for suction.

Your body writhed as you rode his finger shamelessly. He added two more and you dug your heels in, arching up to meet his thrusts. “Joon, please…I want you.”

He sat up again, and you finally got a full view of him in all his glory. You were slightly disappointed when he only allowed you to ogle at him for a few seconds before crawling up to you to push his cock deep within you.

Then in one swift move, he rolls you both over until you were on top once more.

“C’mon, YN…you wanted it so badly…ride it.” He was throwing the gauntlet–which you were all-too-willing to pick up this time.

Rolling your hips, you relished the feel of him filling you so perfectly. No shame, no regrets as you worked yourself into a frenzy on his cock, adjusting the angle so that tip rubbed right where you needed it. He sits up, also unable to just lay back and watch.

“You’re so beautiful. Mine,” He gripped the back of your neck in one hand and your hips in the other, arching his hips to push a little deeper. Squeezing and plumping your flesh.

“Yes, yours,” you rasped.

He drags his lips from the crook of your neck then up to your mouth, catching your ragged breaths and exchanging them with his own.

“Ahh…fuck. Don’t stop, baby…don’t stop,” he groaned into your mouth.

You didn’t think you could. Your thighs burned but you kept at it, his own thrusts meeting yours, coaxing each other’s climaxes to break through the surface.

His pleasure meant so much to you, because it was real and raw. Before you got together, he always struck you as somebody controlled and methodical especially when he dealt with you. Now, he couldn’t hold back with you any longer because he wanted you beyond reason. Weeks without you and he was understandably undone.

You felt him throbbing within you. A ragged sound tore from his throat, signaling how close he was.

And, boy—was he close. His face flushed and his lips parted with gasping breaths. Sweat misted his brow. Your excitement mounted along with his. He was completely at your mercy, all logic and reason out the door, replaced with the visceral need to cum, uttering dirty, sexy things in your ear about what he was going to do to you the next time he fucked you.

You whimpered as everything tightened, the tension building up from the deep, rhythmic strokes. You were panting and frantic, pumping your hips. Reaching between your legs, he rubbed your clit with the pads of his fingers, hastening your climax.

He gasped, his head thrown back in pleasure, his neck straining. “I feel you getting ready to cum. You’re getting so fucking tight…”

His words and his voice pushed you over the edge. You gasped when the first couple of tremors hit you…then cried out loudly as the rest of your orgasm rippled through your body, your core spasming violently around Namjoon.

Teeth grinding audibly, he held on until your clenching began to fade. Afterwards, he clutched your hips and pumped upward into you.

“Fuck,” he cried out. His neck arched, his breath exploding from his lungs.

He came just as aggressively and hard as you did. You felt the thick, hot spurts burst from him in a rush. He growled your name, his hips pumping upward, emptying himself into you.

“This was not what I had in mind when I said we should stay in,” he managed to choke out before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Not that I’m complaining.”

You curled into him, beyond grateful to have him in your arms again. “Want to go to The Met tomorrow? I mean, you know–after I relearn how to walk?”

His laugh was husky from his orgasm. He held you for a while, his fingers sifting through your hair and gliding gently down your arm.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes. I just want to be with you,” you said softly before you nuzzled your nose to his.

It was tough to find a balance. Long-distance was no joke but you worked through it in the most logical, practical way that only you and Namjoon could orchestrate. On scheduled breaks, you’d fly back to him, come visit your family or his. Other times, he would fly to your location.

Eventually, he did take that sabbatical. Six months into your travels, he filed his papers and took a six-month paid leave to be closer to you. It got slightly easier then–coming home to him after a long day.

Some days, he shadowed you during your meetings. Sabbaticals were also meant to be a time to learn new things–and he did. He had always wanted to see how Foundations and Philanthropic groups worked. He had a front-row seat through the whole process. It was a win for both of you.

Not to say that there weren’t difficult days. You still bickered and he still hates mint-chocolate ice cream. But sometimes, you just agree to disagree. Sometimes, you compromise–meet at a certain point. Sometimes, you would just completely miss each other. And that was okay. It was what made you stronger.

******

Epilogue

A year flew by quickly, and you were finally back in one place–feet firmly on the ground. Clothes hanging in an actual closet instead of a suitcase. Any other scheduled travel for you was spaced out by months or a proxy went in your stead if something more urgent was required of the Foundation.

You had that great support staff that Haejin promised you. Your trusted deputy was leading today’s contractor briefing while you took a backseat–silently observing, listening.

Your deputy was essentially a mini-you. Challenging the contractor’s findings and confirming each result.

“We ran these numbers several times and this is the real deal. Our lead programmers, Jung Hoseok and Kim Taehyung have been very diligent in monitoring the surveys. The data is solid,” Mirai says firmly.

You stifle a smile. She was still as sassy as ever.

“Right. The grantees are also incredibly satisfied with the service and the qualitative feedback has been very constructive and helpful. We’re going to have lots of good content for the quarterly report,” Jimin states.

“Great–that’s what we like to hear. And feedback is incredibly valuable to us, as you know. We want to know what we’re doing right and make that better. And on the other hand, we’d like to find out what our shortcomings are and fill that gap,” your deputy says.

“I think that answers most of our queries…unless I missed anything, YN?” Your deputy turns to you.

“Thanks, Lee. You just about covered it,” you smiled. Before Lee moves to adjourn the meeting, you sneak one more comment in. “However–I would like a brief word with the project lead. I have some feedback on his methods. Then we can reconvene for our meeting in my office later?”

Lee’s eyes flick over to the imposing male who sat quietly in the corner. “Sure thing. Thanks again for a great report, everyone. Looking forward to reading the first draft in a couple weeks.”

You stand from your seat as Jimin and Mirai pass you and you exchange brief hugs, promising to meet up for drinks this weekend.

As the room emptied out, Lee shuts the door, leaving you and the project lead alone.

“Surprised you didn’t have any objections to the data,” he begins while he watches you saunter across the room where he stood.

“How could I? I taught them well after all,” you smiled as you propped yourself up on the table.

“Need I remind you that I’ve been overseeing this team for months, too? Can’t take all of the credit.”

“I knew you’d say that,” you chuckled, your shoulders slouching in humor.

He took a couple of steps closer to you until he was closely slotted between your legs. “Was there anything else that you needed to discuss with me, Miss YN?”

His hand brushed your bare knee and slowly snakes up your inner thigh. You didn’t stop him. Instead, you looked up at him and held eye contact until he reached the edge.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he rasped, discovering that you decided to forego panties this morning.

“Something to think about until tonight,” You grasped his wrist and gently withdrew his hand from under your skirt. You smiled devilishly before hopping off the table and kissing that dimple on his cheek. “Love you, Joon,” you giggled as you strutted away from him.

“So–you’re just going to leave me like this?” he asks while looking down at the sizable bump in his pants.

“I’ll tell Lee you need a few minutes to digest my feedback,” you called past your shoulder.

“Love you, too.” He says loudly. You blew a kiss at him before finally walking out the door.

He would definitely make you pay for that when you got home later.#

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loonatism · 3 years

Text

WHAT IS THE LOONAVERSE? PART 1 – THE SCIENCE

LOONA is special among K-pop for its immersive storyline. These girls are not just k-pop idols performing a song, they also perform a story and that story is what we call the Loonaverse.

So, What is the Loonaverse? In a few words: The world and story that LOONA inhabits.

Yeah. Duh. But what is it?

Well… it’s complicated.

The Loonaverse is a fictitious story that borrows elements from real science and fantasy to build its world but also uses allegories, metaphors, allusions and other literary devices to tell its story. Our job as spectators (and specifically us theorizers) is to look beyond those devices to understand the message they are trying to send. In this post I’ll attempt to explain the science of the Loonaverse: parallel universes, time loops and the mobius strip.

PHYSICS VS FICTION

The Loonaverse can be described as the physical universe where the characters of LOONA live and where the events of the story happen.

By physical universe I mean that literally: its own universe. There are multiple theories that explain the existence of multiverses; from infinite universes theories to bubble theories to parallel universes to daughter universes; all incredibly interesting readings and all with fundaments in real physics.

On the other hand, the Loonaverse is a fiction story. Created by the creative minds of the people working in BlockBerry Creative (The company LOONA is under) and specifically by Jaden Jeong (who is a polarizing figure amongst Orbits). As a fiction story it is undeniable that the Loonaverse takes elements form science fiction and fantasy to build its story so going hard into the nitty gritty physics of how it works is ambitious at best and purposelessly time consuming at worst (though if you are interested in the nitty gritty of multiverse theory by all means go read about it, is mind-blowing). Nah, for the purposes of this (really not that long once we get to it) theory, we’ll focus only on a few key science related aspects:

MATHEMATICAL UNIVERSES

This particular multiverse theory debates whether math is a tool used by us to describe our universe or a fundamental truth of the universe itself. If it were the latter, then the possibility of multiple universes with vastly different mathematical structures is possible. This implies a different set of physics working in those universes. Basically: physics and mathematics themselves may work differently in different universes: It is as simple as is sounds. (Yeah, 2+2 may = fish in another universe, or flying is possible and even normal).

Using this admittedly long explanation for a constant in science fiction and fantasy, we now have a physics approved explanation for all the odd things that happen in the Loonaverse: super powers, climbing in air, destroying the moon, walking in the moon and most importantly: time disruptions.

SPACE/TIME RELATIVITY

So… time is weird. Physicist can’t decide what exactly is time. Is it a dimension? A physical force of the universe? An illusion we humans use to perceive existence? Does it even exist at all? We’ll just assume it does and use Einstein’s theory of relativity to explain it.

So… The universe is composed of a 4-dimensional fabric called space-time. (Like, picture an actual tablecloth). When anything with mass falls into that tablecloth it creates a bend, that bend is what we call gravity. This gravitational pull modifies both how space and time are perceived. Everything close to that gravitational pull will move at exponentially slower time than anything outside of it. In simpler terms: Time varies depending of your relationship with another object. But if gravity can modify the way time is perceived, so can speed. The explanation for this is long and complicated and involves a difficult choice between speed not being absolute for anything except that light has an absolute speed and those two statements don’t match. But Einstein, being the clever guy he was, came up with Time dilation: The faster you move the slower time moves for you.

A simpler way to understand all this is to just watch the movie Interstellar. They did a really good job of conveying Einstein’s theory.

Of course, physics haven’t been able to prove the possibility of moving through time backwards, only forward. But hey! We are dealing with a different universe where the laws of math and physics don’t abide by Einstein’s theories. Well let’s unify science and fiction and talk about time travel.

TIME DONUTS AND THE MOBIUS STRIP

Yeah, we finally got here.

The Mobius Strip. The one constant in the Loonaverse is the Mobius Strip. It’s importance has been confirmed by BlockBerry Creative and you’d be hard pressed to find any theory that doesn’t include it somewhere. So, What is a Mobius strip?

Also called the twisted cylinder, it is geometrical shape that has one side, one curve and it’s non orientable, forming a loop on its own. The properties of the mobius strip come into play in the sense that if you were to travel through it, you would go through you starting point once but from the opposite side of the strip before returning to your original starting position.

Here’s a 3D model of the thing: https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:239158

Curious things: If you were to cut down a Mobius strip through the middle you would end up with long mobius. If you were to cut it twice at 1/3 the size each cut, you would end up with one long ass loop and one shorter loop that surrounds it.

Here’s a video that shows that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlQOipIVFPk&ab_channel=ThinkTwice

Okay one more schiency term to explain:

Time donuts (not really called that way) is a time travel/time machine theory that claims that a donut like vaccum that envelopes a sphere of matter and surrounded by a strong gravitational pull would create a void where time/space would collapse into itself, crating a sort of time loop where the closer you move to the sphere the bigger the gravitational pull to the point where you could even start going backwards. Here, space/time is the time machine (yeah, trippy). The physics to this theory are quite debatable at best but it is a theory nontheless, and perfect one for our purposes.

A new time-machine model with compact vacuum core by Amos Ori: https://arxiv.org/pdf/gr-qc/0503077.pdf

IT ALL COMES TOGETHER

Okay I read all this sciency stuff and I still don’t get it: How do all this relates to the Loonaverse? Well, my patient reader, all this science mumbo jumbo helps us understand the main conflict of the Loonaverse: escaping a never-ending time loop.

The theory states that the Loonaverse happens in a parallel universe where the laws of physics don’t abide to our own. In this universe the girls (LOONA) inhabit a space (moon maybe) that moves through time inside of a Mobius Strip, which itself envelopes a large dense sphere of mass, thus creating a time loop. The closer the girls get to the sphere the slower time moves to the point it may go backwards. Because they move through time in a Mobius Strip, the amount of time it takes them to re start the loop is long (though I am not sure how long). In the mean time they will go though their starting point but in the opposite side of the loop.

This means the girls are essentially trapped in a never-ending loop. Think Groundhog Day, Palm Springs, Russian Doll, Happy Death Day; and if time loop movies have taught us anything is that time loops kinda suck after a while.

But this also gives us the tools to possibly escape this loop. Our physics don’t abide in this universe, there are super powers, and mirror images and the possibility of escaping if we understand how it all works in the first place.

With all this science talk, doesn’t that make the Loonaverse a ScyFi story? Well… No.

Science Fiction as a genre uses technological and/or scientific advances to investigate and/or explain a human reality. It usually comes in the form of a warning (Brave New World) or as an exploration of what makes us human (Blade Runner). Science Fiction explores the possibilities of humanity in a technologically advanced future. Because the story LOONA tells us doesn’t explore the possibilities of a technologically ridden future or focuses on our relationship with these advancements, it cannot be called ScyFi.

TLDR:

The Loonaverse is the world and story that LOONA inhabits. It borrows form real life science and fantasy elements to better tell its story. It exists in a universe where the laws of physics differ from ours and where there is a set time loop in the form of a Mobius Strip, which the girls are trying to escape.

REMEMBER: This is all my interpretation of some very complex theories, theories I am unabashedly morphing to my will to fit a certain narrative (like scyfi and fantasy often do). Also, I didn’t come up with the idea of escaping the time loop, it’s kinda the oldest theory out there. It may even be confirmed by BlockBerry Creative. I am just explaining it the way it makes sense to me.

Next: How does all this science help explain the narrative conflict of the characters in the Loonaverse?

#loona #loonaverse #loona theory #loonatism #heejin #hyunjin #haseul #yeojin #vivi #kim lip #jinsoul #choerry #yves #chuu #go won #olivia hye

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killfaeh · 3 years

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Péguy

Hi everybody! In this news feed I've told you a few times about a project I named Péguy. Well today I dedicate a complete article to it to present it to you in more detail but also to show you the new features I brought to it at the beginning of the winter. It's not the priority project (right now it's TGCM Comics) but I needed a little break during the holidays and coding vector graphics and 3D, it's a little bit addictive like playing Lego. x) Let's go then!

Péguy, what is it?

It is a procedural generator of patterns, graphic effects and other scenery elements to speed up the realization of my drawings for my comics. Basically, I enter a few parameters, click on a button, and my program generates a more or less regular pattern on its own. The first lines of code were written in 2018 and since then, this tool has been constantly being enriched and helping me to work faster on my comics. :D This project is coded with web languages and generates vector patterns in the format SVG. In the beginning it was just small scripts that had to be modified directly to change the parameters and run individually for each effect or pattern generated.

Not very user friendly, is it? :’D

This first version was used on episode 2 of Dragon Cat's Galaxia 1/2. During 2019 I thought it would be more practical to gather all these scripts and integrate them into a graphical user interface. Since then, I have enriched it with new features and improved its ergonomics to save more and more time. Here is a small sample of what can be produced with Péguy currently.

Graphic effects typical of manga and paving patterns in perspective or plated on a cylinder. All these features were used on Tarkhan and Gonakin. I plan to put this project online, but in order for it to be usable by others than me, I still need to fix a few ergonomy issues. For the moment, to recover the rendering, you still need to open the browser debugger to find and copy the HTML node that contains the SVG. In other words, if you don't know the HTML structure by heart, it's not practical. 8D

A 3D module!

The 2020 new feature is that I started to develop a 3D module. The idea, in the long run, is to be able to build my comics backgrounds, at least the architectural ones, a bit like a Lego game. The interface is really still under development, a lot of things are missing, but basically it's going to look like this.

So there's no shortage of 3D modeling software, so why am I making one? What will make my project stand out from what already exists? First, navigation around the 3D workspace. In short, the movement of the camera. Well please excuse me, but in Blender, Maya, Sketchup and so on, to be able to frame according to your needs to get a rendering, it's just a pain in the ass! So I developed a more practical camera navigation system depending on whether you're modeling an object or placing it in a map. The idea is to take inspiration from the map editors in some video games (like Age of Empire). Secondly, I'm going to propose a small innovation. When you model an object in Blender or something else, it will always be frozen and if you use it several times in an environment, it will be strictly identical, which can be annoying for natural elements like trees for example. So I'm going to develop a kind of little "language" that will allow you to make an object customizable and incorporate random components. Thus, with a single definition for an object, we can obtain an infinite number of different instances, with random components for natural elements and variables such as the number of floors for a building. I had already developed a prototype of this system many years ago in Java. I'm going to retrieve it and adapt it to Javascript. And the last peculiarity will be in the proposed renderings. As this is about making comics (especially in black and white in my case), I'm developing a whole bunch of shaders to generate lines, screentones and other hatchings automatically with the possibility to use patterns generated in the existing vector module as textures! :D

What are shaders?

Well, you see the principle of post-production in cinema... (Editing, sound effects, various corrections, special effects... all the finishing work after shooting). Well, shaders are about the same principle. They are programs executed just after the calculation of the 3D object as it should appear on the screen. They allow to apply patches, deformations, effects, filters... As long as you are not angry with mathematics, there is only limit to your imagination! :D When you enter a normal vector in a color variable it gives funny results.

Yes! It's really with math that you can display all these things. :D Now when you hear a smart guy tell you that math is cold, it's the opposite of art or incompatible with art... it's dry toast, you'll know it's ignorance. :p Math is a tool just like the brush, it's all about knowing how to use it. :D In truth, science is a representation of reality in the same way as a painting. It is photorealistic in the extreme, but it is nevertheless a human construction used to describe nature. It remains an approximation of reality that continually escapes us and we try to fill in the margins of error over the centuries... Just like classical painting did. But by the way? Aren't there a bunch of great painters who were also scholars, mathematicians? Yes, there are! Look hard! The Renaissance is a good breeding ground. x) In short! Physics is a painting and mathematics is its brush. But in painting, we don't only do figurative, not only realism, we can give free rein to our inspiration to stylize our representation of the world or make it abstract. Well like any good brush, mathematics allows the same fantasy! All it takes is a little imagination for that. Hold, for example, the good old Spirograph from our childhood. We all had one! Well, these pretty patterns drawn with the bic are nothing else than... parametric equations that make the students of math sup/math spe suffer. 8D Even the famous celtic triskelion can be calculated from parametric equations. Well, I digress, I digress, but let's get back to our shaders. Since you can do whatever you want with it, I worked on typical manga effects. By combining the Dot Pattern Generator and the Hatch Generator but display them in white, I was able to simulate a scratch effect on screentones.

In the traditional way it is an effect that is obtained by scraping the screentones with a cutter or similar tool.

Péguy will therefore be able to calculate this effect alone on a 3D scene. :D I extended this effect with a pattern calculated in SVG. So it will be possible to use the patterns created in the vector module as textures for the 3D module! Here it is a pattern of dots distributed according to a Fibonacci spiral (I used a similar pattern in Tarkhan to make stone textures, very commonly used in manga).

Bump mapping

So this is where things get really interesting. We stay in the shaders but we're going to give an extra dimension to our rendering. Basically, bump mapping consists in creating a bas-relief effect from a high map. And it gives this kind of result.

The defined object is always a simple cylinder (with 2 radii). It is the shaders that apply the pixel shift and recalculate the lighting thanks to the high map that looks like this.

This texture has also been calculated automatically in SVG. Thus we can dynamically set the number of bricks. Well, this bas-relief story is very nice, but here we have a relatively realistic lighting, and we would like it to look like a drawing. So by applying a threshold to have an area lit in white, a second threshold to have shadow areas in black, by applying the screentone pattern to the rest and by adding the hatching that simulates the scraped screentone, here is the result!

It's like a manga from the 80's! :D I tested this rendering with other screentone patterns: Fibonnacci spiral dots, parallel lines or lines that follow the shape of the object.

Now we know what Péguy can do. I think I can enrich this rendering a bit more with the shaders but the next time I work on this project the biggest part of the job will be to create what we call primitives, basic geometric objects. After that I can start assembling them. The concept of drawing while coding is so much fun that I'm starting to think about trying to make complete illustrations like this or making the backgrounds for some comic book projects only with Péguy just for the artistic process. Finding tricks to generate organic objects, especially plants should be fun too. That's all for today. Next time we'll talk about drawing! Have a nice week-end and see you soon! :D Suisei

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Source : https://www.suiseipark.com/News/Entry/id/302/

#manga #software #screentones #halftones

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acrobaticcatfeline · 5 years

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Logan and His Little Bumble Bee (Single Dads AU) Chapter 2!!!

Word Count: 5924

TW: Ok geez, so Logan outright hates his ex, hes pan, abuse, cheating, drugs, abandonment, smoking, mental disorder, neglect, swearing, uhhhh I think that’s all. Let me know if I missed something!

Notes: First chapter here!!! I’m so tired guys. I’m so tired of everything and this was the best de-stress I’ve had in forever. I’m glad to be done with this part, I probably wont have time to write for real until summer. I have like 6 more weeks of school then comic con and then I go to my moms so I’ll probably write while I’m there. I love these boys and I’m glad you all enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy this part just as much!!!

Pairings: logicality, past Logan and OC (her name Mercedes and I hate her a lot), familial logince, familial moxiety, platonic prinxiety

Summary: “DAD!!! VIRGIL WANTS TO HANG OUT AT THE PARK CAN WE GO???” It’s been 9 years. Yeah yeah what a time skip!!! It’s Roman’s 11th birthday, and he has to have dinner with his mother. We already know he has a large distaste for his mother. Logan is weighing the pros and cons of trying to keep his ex in their life, neither of them like her but it’s healthy for Roman to have her around isn’t it? He makes a big decisions and mistakes, but you know, it ends well in the end doesn’t it. I mean, this is a fluffy fic.

“DAD!!! VIRGIL WANTS TO HANG OUT AT THE PARK CAN WE GO???”

Logan sanders was tired. Yes still, we haven’t jumped that far yet! His son Roman, 11 years old today was as talkative as ever. He was in 5th grade now and he had made more friends and proved to learn words very quickly. In fact, Roman had been put into the honor program at his school and was excelling in all his classes, and to Logan’s surprise and delight, he enjoyed them all too. Roman would come home from school and do his math and science homework and would do his English homework with Logan when he had the time. Logan would have to hold his tongue when Roman told him about what he learned in history, he wouldn’t tell him just how horribly biased the information he was getting was until he was older. He still stayed friends with Virgil, as they went to the same school, but that also meant Logan has had to continue to keep his cool around Patton, who has only gotten more attractive in the past 9 years. And yes, he still hasn’t said anything about his affections, listen, he’s nervous and what if he says no it would ruin their relationship and then Roman would hate him for making him not able to spend time with his best friend and he can’t do it. I mean Roman already had trust issues with his mother he couldn’t do that to him.

Speaking of his mother…

“sure Ro, but remember your mom wants to come over and celebrate your birthday ok? We can’t be out too long, she’ll be here by 8 and its 4 right now. Grab your phone and we’ll go ok?”

“oh yeah. I guess… yeah I’ll be right back.”

Logan hated how deflated Roman got whenever his mom was brought up. He had tried, he tried so desperately to repair what she had broken with him, but he had no clue what had happened and as such couldn’t even begin. His ex had started making an effort supposedly, almost immediately making an appearance to attempt to fix what was broken.

She failed. Roman refused to visit her alone, he wouldn’t stay at her place for a weekend, he would almost go into a panic attack if Logan had asked her to babysit, causing him to find a way to cancel it every time. He hated that his ex had ruined her relationship with him so badly. He was desperate to give Roman a good family, but he constantly wanted to strangle her. She was just… so insensitive! He would get things for Roman that Roman hated, or something that Logan expressly said Roman wasn’t allowed to have, and directly going against his wishes as his caretaker. She would bring noisemakers, leading Roman to be infinitely noisier, and what person gifts a kazoo to a 10-year-old whose dad still got little to no sleep? Either way, it would be… cruel, to keep Roman’s mother from seeing him on his birthday, especially since she had put forth the effort. So here he was, forcing himself and his son to go through the interaction. At least he would be able to commiserate with Patton. That would give him the energy to get through dinner with her. Roman ran around the corner in his star fire teen titan’s black t-shirt and jeans.

Logan smiled at his son and ruffled his hair as they headed out to the park. He was especially proud of himself for raising his son without the idiotic idea of gender roles. Sure, Roman loved iron man and captain America, but his favorite superheroes had been wonder woman and star fire ever since he had started watching tv or reading comics. When Roman took a liking to star fire from the teen titans’ cartoon, Logan had taken him to the local comic book store and had bought the first 5 issues of the new teen titans comics, having done the research to ensure he got the right thing.

They walked to the park, and as soon as they got within distance, Roman took off running, already seeing Virgil. Logan chuckled, and continued walking. When he caught up Roman was clinging to Virgil who was laughing loudly. He approached Patton with a smile, and Patton held up a bag with a gentle smile.

“Virge said it was Ro’s birthday, so we got him a little something. I imagine once he can stop laughing, he’ll tell him. How are things lo?”

“oh geez, you didn’t have to, he’s spoiled rotten by you guys enough on every normal day.”

“nonsense!!!”

“heh, anyways, things are… tense. Mercedes wanted to come over and celebrate Roman’s birthday, and Roman is… less than excited to say the least.”

“oh gosh, that sounds like a time. Hopefully things are ok?”

“hopefully. I have a strong feeling she’s going to start an argument with me about how she should have custody if I’m not in a relationship because its detrimental or something idiotic, which you know I think is funny considering that Roman literally gains symptoms of anxiety and ptsd when around her, as well as the fact that I am a medical professional who works with children in actual detriment for half of my work days. Besides, even if Roman did want to live with her I wouldn’t be able to let him be there with her new boyfriend. I’m at least 70% sure that on top of his addiction to cigarettes he’s a drug addict, and I’m not putting my son in that situation. Oh, sorry that was, word vomit I apologize.”

“no no don’t worry about it, you have valid concerns and emotions. Its better for you to talk about it now instead of blowing up at her, if not for your sake, for Roman’s.”

Logan smiled and nodded. He often forgot that Patton was a therapist and had similar training in psychology. He looked over to see Virgil and Roman running over, Roman directly at him, and steadied himself for the incoming impact. Roman launched himself at him and Logan caught him and dispersed the energy towards him by spinning the boy in a circle. He lifted him higher with a smile.

“is this my little bumble bee? Hmm, I don’t know, my bumble bee giggles when I do… this!”

Logan flipped the boy upside down and Roman squealed with laughter. He put him back down and Roman surged forward again to give him a hug. Roman looked up at him with a big toothy grin and if there had been a piece of his heart that hadn’t yet melted from that little smile, it didn’t survive much longer. He smiled back and nodded his head in the direction of Patton and Virgil.

“I hear vee and pat got you a birthday present, you wanna go thank them and open it?”

Roman’s face lit up brightly and he nodded. He thanked the other two profusely and gave them big hugs and went to open the gift. He gasped loudly and showed Logan the contents, being a video camera, a set of big headphones and an adult coloring book, one of the few Roman hadn’t gotten yet. Logan smiled gently and silently thanked Patton for the gift, Roman had a tendency to break earbuds quickly, and would play his music on his phone very loudly. It was a much-needed expense that Logan hadn’t been able to get yet.

“you remember the rules with that right bee?”

Logan doesn’t have to elaborate, Roman nods firmly, pulling the red beatz headphones out and putting them on. He smiles even wider than before and launches into a hug for Virgil and Patton. Logan grabs the book and camera and smile at the 3. What he wouldn’t give for this picture to be a constant, where the 4 were simply happy in each other’s presence.

“remember Ro, we only have a few hours, we need to make the house presentable.”

There was tenseness in Roman’s shoulders at the reminder, and god he wished he could cancel, could tell her off, could keep her away from Roman but he had no proof, no evidence, that anything had ever happened, only the few things Roman had told him which essentially added up to ‘moms not here’ and while that could be from neglect or trauma, it could also just be that he was stating the fact of the moment. He had no way of knowing and Roman may not even have those memories stored. Regardless, they had to meet her, or she would try to press charges. And even if he would win, he didn’t have the time or money to deal with it.

Roman and Virgil played for hours, and Logan just talked with Patton until they had to leave. Roma was immediately uncomfortable as soon as they started walking home, and Logan hated it passionately. They cleaned a bit and Roman insisted he had to change. He came back down in a black long sleeve shirt and a white avengers t-shirt over it. He didn’t look comfortable, actively making himself look small, and he looked unhappy. Oh geez, how could he let this happen to him? He had a right to tell his ex off, to keep her from seeing him, she had formally signed over full custody when she first dropped Roman off, he had the right to keeping her out of his sons’ life, especially when her presence caused the poor boy so much stress.

That’s it. This is the last time. If Roman ever wants to spend time with her he will let him of course, but at the moment she was damaging Roman just by being brought up. He would tell her after Roman went to bed. If she had a problem, she could figure it out. She was… as Roman had put it years ago, bad. Plus, she had been a huge drain on his life as well. If he never saw her again it would be too soon…

Knock knock

Speak of the devil and she shall appear…

“hello Mercy, please come in!”

Please leave and never come back you spineless wretched bi-

“why thank you Logan! Roman!!! I’m glad I get to see you again!!! Happy birthday kiddo, I have a gift for you!!!”

I bet it’s a gift card to an adult shop, you have no tact you wicked monstrous ba-

“oh! Um, yay! Dad made dinner, do you want some pasta Mercy?”

And there was a look shared between the adults, an accusing one that made him out to be a tactless a- uh, jerk… who never referred to her as Roman’s mother as if that was the case… how dare she imply, assume that he would stoop to her standards.

“oh yes please Ro! I would love some!”

Roman gave Logan a look and Logan gave a small nod before Roman dashed into the kitchen. Mercy gave Logan another angry look as Roman rounded the corner, speaking in a hushed tone.

“so, I see you truly haven’t taught him to respect his mom?”

“I do my best to keep my disdain for you under wraps, so he doesn’t see it. Either way I rarely refer to you as anything other than his mom regardless of how little you deserve to be referred to as such.”

“oh yeah well it seems you’ve failed. I was so much more successful taking care of him you really should relinquish custody to me”

“listen if you want to have this pointless conversation again it can wait until Roman goes to sleep. I would prefer not screaming at you while my son is just around the corner.”

“oh woe, however could you let MY son see you being the truest form of you! A vicious monster who hates all women!”

“keep your voice down Merce. None of what happened more than a decade ago matters right now. I’m not vicious and I certainly don’t hate women. I just hate you.”

“why I outta-”

Roman bounded the corner with three bowls of pasta and a content smile on his face. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his parents glaring at one another. Logan turned towards him and the scowl faded into a grin. Mercy also fixed her posture and made her face neutral. She turned and smiled at Roman sweetly, and it made Roman’s skin crawl. Nevertheless, he smiled back and set down their bowls. He couldn’t wait for dinner to be over, then he could go take a shower and go to bed. He just had to make it through dinner…

“thank you, Ro, I made some veggies too, I’ll go make us some plates of that. Why don’t you unwrap your gift Roman?”

Roman nodded and mercy smirked as she handed him a bag. As he walked into the kitchen, he heard the bag open and a small gasp. When he returned, he saw a t-shirt on the table and a plush captain America plushie in his hands. He slowly brings it into a hug and thanks mercy. Logan put down the plates and signals to start eating. Halfway through dinner, mercy asks the question he knew was coming.

“so, what did you get him Logan?”

He refrained from cackling and backed up to grab Roman’s gifts. He set down two boxes and Roman looked at him with stars in his eyes. He opens the top one first, revealing a rotating constellation lamp. He smiled widely and wiggled happily in his seat. Mercy’s face was already less proud and conceited. Then Roman opened the next one, causing him to squeal and tackle hug Logan.

“I really really wanted a ukulele!!!!! Thank you so much dad I can’t believe you actually got one!!!”

He smiled softly as he hugged the boy. He looked up at mercy and felt his smile widen at the distaste on her face. He coaxed Roman to sit back down and finish eating, and he gave mercy the smallest hug afterwards and then Roman went upstairs to get ready for bed. Now he and mercy were in a free for all. No holding back. Logan could already hear the shower upstairs running, nothing here was sacred. Mercy could and would play dirty now. And Logan wasn’t about to back down. They were both ridiculously stubborn and absolutely hated each other and thus why their breakup was particularly ugly.

“you outdo me every time. You know you don’t need to buy his love? You can just try to be a halfway decent father.”

Oh ok. No build up this time, straight to the arteries.

“listen mercy I know you’re narcissistic, but I didn’t realize you projected so hard! If I had realized I would have therapized you sooner! Please, tell me how your home life was like?”

“oh, ha ha! You need to give me custody of him Logan. He needs a stable REAL family and a constant mother figure. Its mentally damaging to him-”

“oh? Oh really? Really please do tell me, a mental health doctor, how it is mentally damaging for him to have a single parent? Please bestow your wisdom on me high and mighty waitress from Denny’s without a college degree!!!”

“listen jackass its been scientifically proven that it causes mental disorders!”

“by fucking who??? Freud??? Because if you listened to anyone ever in your high school years instead of fucking a grand total of 9 guys at once maybe you’d know that Freud is full of shit!”

“its not my fault you’re shit at relationships lo”

“yeah well its also not MY fault that you cheated on me with 8 OTHER GOD DAMN GUYS!!! Its also not my fault that your boyfriend is a fucking druggie!!! Of all the guys you’ve fucking dated I think I’m the only one who doesn’t do drugs, and you know I don’t feel comfortable letting my son that you DROPPED ON MY DOORSTEP and handed full custody of over after 2 years live in a coke den. Don’t particularly want him to get second hand smoke either. I’m not giving you custody. If you wanted fucking custody you would have fucking raised him. You know I’ve taken him to therapy, and I’ve figured something out. Apparently, he likely has DSED. But you don’t know what that means do you? Its disinhibited social engagement disorder. It’s a trauma disorder that has to be related to a traumatic series of events from before the age of 5. Seeing as some of Roman’s first words were ‘mom bad mom not here’ I have reason to believe that you have neglected and abused him and then handed him over to me so you couldn’t be held responsible. Now you want him back so you can claim its my god damn fault well its too fucking late Merce. I’m giving you a choice Mercedes. Either you walk away and keep out of Roman’s life unless he requests you, or I will file a restraining order. Your choice.”

“…you never change do you Logan. I hope you grow up some day. I truly do. I guess this is goodbye.”

“sayonara Mercedes. If I never see you again it will be too fucking soon.”

And she left. She’s gone. He’s never going to have to do this again, and neither is Roman. He lays against the front door once she’s gone and calls Patton.

“hello? Logan its pretty late for you, you don’t usually call this late, is something wrong?”

“no. no something is wonderfully great Patton I’m free. Roman is free, I finally gathered the nerve. She’s never coming back Patton. She’s gone, she’s out of our lives no more whispered arguments just out of hearing range, no more cursing yelling matches while Roman goes to sleep, no more pretending I can stand her for Roman’s sake, its done, its over good god I haven’t felt this happy since Roman spoke his first words.”

There was silence on the line for a minute. Then a chuckle.

“I’m so happy for you L!!! I’m so glad you don’t have to put yourself in that situation anymore! I’m so proud of you!!!”

Logan held the phone with both hands, feeling like a teenage girl in a love song video. He smiled wide and nodded before remembering that he wasn’t on video call.

“thank you, Patton. I’ll let you get some sleep. Good night pat.”

“night L”

He hangs up and make his way upstairs. Roman is sat in his bed patiently waiting for Logan. He dives under his covers when he sees him. Logan sits on the side of his bed with a smile.

“hey kiddo. Guess what?”

“what?”

You don’t have to see your mom ever again if you don’t want to. Any meetings will be completely your choice.”

Roman’s eyes widened and his smile grew.

“you really mean it?”

“yessiree”

Roman gave Logan a huge hug yet again, and Logan stroked his hair. He was finally able to protect his baby boy. When Roman let go, Logan walked to the wall and pulled out a bag and handed it to Roman. Roman looked at Logan and began ripping the bag apart at the nod Logan gave. He opened it to see statuettes of wonder woman, star fire, and Harley Quinn, his favorite superheroes, and villain, ever. He let out a gasp and tackled Logan in a hug for a third time in the last hour. He sets the half foot tall statues on the nightstand next to his bed.

“do you want me to set up your constellation lamp?”

Roman nodded excitedly. Logan hooked up the lamp and calibrated it with the date, so it showed tonight’s stars. He fixed a few other things in Roman’s room, cleaning up his laundry corner, rearranging his book shelf, and putting the last few toys away in his toy box. He hung up the new shirt Roman got and tucked the captain America plushie in with him. He set the new ukulele in a stand on Roman’s shelf. Finally, he unhooked Roman’s dream catcher from the string that hung above his head. He took it to the window and blew on it. He hung it back up and walked right next to Roman’s bed. He began to tuck the boy into bed.

“you want a lullaby Ro? And would you like me to plug in your night light as well as your lamp?”

“yes, and yes please dad?”

“of course, Roman”

Little child, be not afraid the rain pounds harsh against the glass Like an unwanted stranger There is no danger I am here tonight

Little child Be not afraid Though thunder explodes, and lightning flash Illuminates your tear-stained face I am here tonight

And someday you’ll know That nature is so This same rain that draws you near me Falls on rivers and land on forests and sand Makes the beautiful world that you see in the morning

By the time he reached that point in the song Roman was completely passed out. He smiled fondly on him and kissed his forehead before lighting the night light, a bumble bee on a lily, and the constellation lamp and leaving.

He went about his own routine until he laid in bed. He looked at the clock next to his bed. It read 10:03. He impulsively picked up his phone and dialed Patton.

“…uhh, Logan? What’s up? I was just settling down for bed…”

“um, sorry I just uh…”

“out with-it L, I’m too tired to understand your silliness.”

“…I’m in love with you. Have been for a long time now but I just um, I just had a burst of confidence and that confidence is abandoning me so I’m sorry, this is stupid, I’m stupid, ignore this I’m sorry I’ll go, sleep well Patton good night”

“wait what?! Logan wait hold on-”

Click.

Oh good. He’s going to have to own up to that in the morning. Maybe he should go have a drink? No no, much too late for that. He’d just sleep it off. Yeah that’ll work.

When he woke up the next morning his phone was blown up with missed calls, voicemails, and texts from Patton, which makes tons of sense in hindsight, but you know the saying, hindsight is 20/20, and his normal vision is significantly less. Either way, he hesitantly listened to the voicemails, after ensuring that Patton wouldn’t see that he did. There were varying levels of distress in each.

“Logan! Its Patton, please pick up? I need to talk to you about this. Are you ok?”

“Logan!!! Its Patton I swear its not what you think, please just pick up and talk to me!”

“Logan? Its Patton. I don’t know if you’re ignoring me or if you’re just asleep, but I… I need to tell you something too. Call me back when you get the chance.”

“………………”

Logan felt awful. He already felt awful, but now he felt even worse. Look what he’d done! God he was a mess and he had the gall to drag poor Patton into it. God why did he do it, why didn’t he think it through? Imagine what Roman would think of him now!!! God, he messed up so badly. He grabbed his phone and walked downstairs to get hugged by Roman as he met the bottom.

“dad dad dad! Virgil asked if he and pat could come over, can they can they can they???”

Of course. He should have prepared for this. Its Sunday, the only time he and Patton’s work schedules coincided the whole day. Patton worked evenings on Saturday and Logan worked mornings on Friday and it was always Roman and Virgil’s favorite thing to do to come over to their house for breakfast then play all day. The two were never bored of each other. And it just meant Logan would get his just desserts sooner than he intended. Patton lived about a 10-minute drive away and that gave him very little time to look presentable.

“yes of course ro. In that case, I’m going to fix myself up, and when I’m done, how’s about we make some blueberry pancakes?”

Roman squealed and jumped up and down, before running to his phone. Logan made his way back upstairs. He brushed his hair, his teeth, and he got dressed. He put on blue jeans that he liked, a black t-shirt, and a soft light blue hoodie with a heart on it. It was a birthday gift from Patton from he thinks about 3 years ago. He had treasured it, even though it wasn’t much his style, it was something that felt inherently Patton to him and as mentioned a multitude of times before, he is really really gay. He fixed himself a gaze in his full-length mirror, checking to see that he was truly presentable. He saw the faintest of bags under his eyes, but those were probably from ro. He gave himself a silent pep talk before going to the kitchen. He saw Ro had already gathered all the ingredients and utensils they needed. He smiled and ruffled Roman’s hair. He rolled up his sleeves and put his hands on his hips.

“you ready to get cooking Ro?”

“absolutely!!!”

They had made the mix, and a few pancakes when the doorbell rang. Logan set the scoop down in the bowl and pushed his hair back. He smiled at Roman and asked him to get the door. The second Roman rounded the corner his façade fell. He was lost and scared and had no easy escape from the conversation he knew would happen as soon as the boys went off to play. He wasn’t ready. Not at all, but he had no choice anymore. He’d have to face it sooner or later.

“hi pat!!! HI VERGE!!!!! Come in, dads making pancakes!!!”

“oh, does he need any help?”

He heard Patton ask and he really hoped Roman would cover for him. He needed a bit more time before he had to be alone with him.

“oh no, he’s got this, he’s the most epic master chef to chef the seven stoves!!!”

Oh, thank god. He chuckled at Roman’s antics, always amused at how ridiculous he could be. He finished the last of the pancake mix and brought out 2 plates staked high with pancakes. He set them down with a smile and retreated again to grab sugar, butter, and syrup. He set them down and invited them to seat themselves. He had sat next to his son, and of course Virgil sat next to Roman, leading Patton to sit next to him. He did his best to just… eat and listen to Roman talk about this newest obsession, but his gaze kept wandering towards Patton, and it seemed that every time he glanced at him, Patton was doing the same. It wasn’t long at all before Roman and Virgil were finished and racing each other upstairs. He quickly made himself busy with gathering the dishes, his included, and bringing them to the sink to get rinsed off. He bounded the corner again, seeing Patton still making his way through a pancake on his plate.

“that the last pancake you want?”

“uh yeah, sorry I’m taking so long today, I’m still a bit tired.”

Logan felt himself twitch at that. Had he kept Patton up with worry? Nope nope not yet, not ready yet. He grabbed the extra pancakes and packed them in a bag. He rounded the corner yet again, seeing Patton finish his pancake. He stood with the plate and Logan grabbed it out of his hands. He smiled gentle at Patton, and he could have sworn he’d seen a blush on Patton’s face, but he was sure he was imagining. While rinsed the plate he started his coffee maker.

“you want coffee pat?”

He looked at Patton and Patton shook himself out of some sort of trance before making a sound of affirmation. A few minutes later he poured them both mugs of coffee, pulling out his creamer and sugar for himself and Patton to choose from. After they finished mixing it up, he saw Patton start to think of something to say, and he interrupted. He’d already had one argument in that room, he didn’t need the possibility of another one.

“would you like to step outside?”

Patton, who was staring firmly at his mug, looked up suddenly with an odd look on his face. He nodded quickly and followed Logan out onto the patio. Logan stood next to the fence around the deck, leaning on it and looking out on the little empty field that was behind his house. He had spent so much time there with Roman, he could barely remember a time before he had the kid. He heard soft footsteps approach the railing and smiled down into his coffee, hating the show of emotion and weakness he was having. He heard Patton take a deep breath and he nearly laughed at the situation he was in.

“so…”

“yeah.”

He heard Patton turn around, his back now against the railing. He hated this. He couldn’t stand this he didn’t want to have this conversation, he wanted to go back to sleep.

“so um, what you said on the phone last night… was-was that true?”

“heh, yeah. All of it, I’m-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you with that. Especially not as late as it was.”

He felt Patton’s gaze fall on him and he was harshly reminded how much he h a t e d this. He looked like a moron, can’t the time just reverse so he can choose not to decide to ruin his and Roman’s lives. God why did he fuck this up so bad-

“yeah no, if you had told me that literal years ago it would have saved us both some turmoil lo.”

Wait-

“what?”

Logan stood straight up and finally really looked at Patton. He had a gentle smile and soft eyes and god he never thought he would see that perfectly gorgeous look directed at anyone other than Virgil, let alone him. That was the look Patton gave Virgil constantly. It was a look of adoration and affection and love and god that was directed at Logan and he didn’t think he would be able to keep his composure if he kept looking at those beautiful blue eyes that were peering into his soul.

“I-I didn’t think-I mean you were just-god how oblivious am I?”

“only a lot when it comes to emotions. I mean, it’s not like I knew ether, and I literally talk people through their emotions daily for pay, so you know I think its pretty even there. You know you look really nice in that hoodie. I almost forgot I got that for you, I hadn’t seen you wear it in a good long while. I had thought you had gotten rid of it.”

“what? No, I would never! It’s the most comfortable thing I own honestly, and um, I was certain I was going to need comfort for this conversation but I… guess I was wrong.”

“Logan what did you think was gonna happen? That I would reject you and hate you or something?”

“uh, yeah? Well my worst-case scenario was that you would slap me for even thinking about it and then you would cut yourself and Virgil out of my life and then Roman would hate me as much as his mother, but you know its just how it goes I guess.”

“…Logan for such a smart man you can be exceptionally stupid sometimes.”

“I’ve heard that regularly, and I’m pretty sure my ex said something to that effect yesterday, so I mean you’re probably not wrong.”

Patton giggled softly. He continued to just gaze at Logan before stepping closer and placing a hand on Logan’s cheek.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“I-um, I uh me-me too-”

“may I?”

Logan nodded. Patton leaned in slowly, and Logan being who he is, impatiently closed the gap. It was… soft. It was soft and warm and everything Logan had imagined. However, cliché it may be, as Logan closed his eyes, he swore he could see fireworks. It felt like his own personal Disney happy ending that Roman loved so much. He was close enough to smell Patton’s hair, like a forest of olive trees and strawberries and happiness and love. Logan had never really been one for dramatics, but at the moment, he felt more at home than he had ever been before. He felt happy and he felt calm and he felt Patton’s arms snake their way around his hips and he wrapped his around Patton’s neck and god he was at peace.

“EWWWWW ROMAN OUR DADS ARE KISSING!!!!!!!!”

Well there goes the moment. Patton quickly broke the kiss and turned to see Virgil covering his eyes and hopping on his feet. He saw Roman run the corner and there were stars in his eyes. He covered his mouth and squealed while hopping around.

“is Patton gonna be my dad too???”

Logan couldn’t help but hide his face in Patton’s neck.

“maybe? We don’t know yet Ro, we’ll need a bit more time to figure that out.”

Logan was eternally grateful at Patton’s talent for answering children while also not revealing everything. He mumbled a small ‘I hope so’ into Patton’s neck and Patton giggled. He whispered back a ‘me too’ and Logan could swear he felt his heart swell in his chest. Virgil uncovered his eyes and looked at Patton with awe.

“wait… does that mean me, and Ro will be brothers??? We’ll be eternal playmates!!! Ro we’ll get to play together for forever this is so cool!!!”

“YEAH!!! I went from having one parent to two and a brother!!! YAY!!!!!!”

“oh gosh they’re excited”

Logan turned his head, now laying on Patton’s chest and looking at the kids.

“you two are so silly. You go back to playing unless you needed something”

“well uh we wanted to ask if you would play with us?”

“yeah!!! We wanted to play princes and villains, but neither of us wanna be villains. Could you please play with us?”

Logan leaned back and looked at Patton who had a bright smile on his face.

“why not? I’m actually already hungry again. I think some little princes would be delicious!”

The boys squealed and ran away, and the two adults gave themselves a moment, as well as the boys a head start.

“you know as over used as it is, I really am glad I get to be with you now. You have been my dream guy for years and now its not a dream anymore. Now I don’t know about you, but I have an appointment with some princes.”

“you know, so do I. how about it then? Ready to go?”

Patton gave a toothy grin and placed a small kiss on Logan’s cheek. He chuckled at the blush that grew on his face before releasing him. He held out his hand to Logan.

“as I’ll ever be! Let’s go!”

Logan grabbed his hand and two rushed upstairs. The two were so completely utterly in love. For once in their life they had another person by their side who they could hold close and trust aside from their kids. It was nice. It was really nice.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @asleepybisexual @starbucks-remy @idioticsky @ijustreallylovesanderssides @superwholocked-for-life @band-be-boss-blog @llamaly @logicality-trash @fiive-second-cookies @whats-going-on-kiddos @snowshoe-main-blog @007ardra @internetwhy @musikasworld

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Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

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riga789 · 6 years

Text

Complicated Mating Rituals

Work on chapter 8 of Won't You Dance With Me is in progress. Meanwhile, here's something else that's been sitting in my WIP folder for a while that should probably see the light of day.

Summary: Zay has been watching the pining and angst-filled drama between Maya and Lucas play out for three years. And though he’s generally a sucker for slow-burn romances, he has to admit it’s infinitely more frustrating in real life than it is in books or TV shows or movies.

In which Zay is sick of watching Lucas and Maya dance around each other, and wants to do something about it. But Smackle counsels patience and non-interference.

Meanwhile, there's one love life he didn't foresee popping into existence: his own.

Read on ao3 | ff.net

It’s the summer before junior year, and Maya, Lucas, Zay, Smackle, and Farkle are spending the last couple of weeks of their holidays at Farkle’s parents’ beach house in the Hamptons. Riley and the entire Matthews clan are vacationing in Maui, and Mr. and Mrs. Minkus are in Europe. So it’s just the five of them in the huge oceanfront mansion that has more than ten bedrooms, breathtaking views from every window, balcony, and porch, and a private beach.

In the week that they’ve been here, they have taken full advantage of the house and its amenities. They’ve devoted most of their days to the beach, lazing on deck chairs under big blue and white striped umbrellas or swimming in the sea, returning to the house for big, wholesome lunches made by the housekeeper-cook, Mrs. Grady (whose husband is the butler. The Gradys are the live-in caretakers at the beach house, and their chaperones for the duration of this vacation.).

The five of them have played video games, pool (where Maya kicked everyone’s collective butts), binge-watched TV shows and marathoned movies, tried their hand at tennis, relaxed by the swimming pool, and gone for midnight walks on the beach. Smackle has spent nearly all her non-group time in the library, Maya is on a mission to draw, sketch, paint, and photograph every view from the house, and Lucas, Zay and Farkle are halfway through a prolonged game of CoD involving a zombie invasion.

It’s exactly what they need: a nice, relaxing, uneventful holiday before the madness of school, classes, and extracurricular activities takes over their lives again for the rest of the year.

At least, it should have been a nice, relaxing, uneventful holiday. So far, for Zay, it’s been anything but. And it’s all thanks to his two best friends, Maya and Lucas.

Zay is usually pretty patient when it comes to his friends. He’s content to sit back and watch the shenanigans ensue, the drama unfold — and there’s no dearth of either with his group, especially when Riley is around. It actually makes for quality entertainment.

But he has been watching this pining and angst-filled drama between Maya and Lucas play out for three years. And though he’s generally a sucker for slow-burn romances, he has to admit it’s infinitely more frustrating in real life than it is in books or TV shows or movies.

So Zay is fed up. He can’t take it anymore. He’s reached the end of his tether. It makes him want to tear his hair out.

“You have mentioned that,” Isadora says, not looking up from the brick-thick book in her lap. “Fourteen times in the last nine minutes and forty seven seconds.”

They are in Mr. Minkus’s study/library, where Isadora ensconced herself a little while ago, and Zay came looking for her to vent his frustration after witnessing yet another bout of stare-at-them-longingly-but-look-away-before-they-catch-you-looking between Lucas and Maya.

Zay has spent quite a lot of time with Smackle in the recent weeks, especially after they arrived in the Hamptons. It’s mainly because Maya and Lucas are being Maya and Lucas, and Farkle is spending a lot of time by himself watching space documentaries. (Zay thinks this is because Farkle misses Riley, with whom he had some sort of a fight before she left for Maui, and now he’s feeling sorry about the fight and sorrier for himself because he and Riley aren’t exactly talking, while she and Maya call and text each other all the time.) In short, Isadora is the only sane one around, not to mention she’s quirky and funny and has a great sense of humour. Zay has always got along well with her, and lately they seem to be getting along like a house on fire, so he’s not complaining.

She looks at him and raises an eyebrow, and he realizes he’s been staring at her. He quickly looks away, thanking his stars that his blush doesn’t show on his skin, (though he’s not sure why he’s blushing), and returns to the topic of his pique: Maya and Lucas.

“That’s because it’s true!” He exclaims a tad dramatically. He stops his circular pacing around Mr. Minkus’s desk and chair (currently occupied by Smackle) to stand and gaze out of the large window behind her.

It’s drizzling outside — it’s been raining for the past couple of days — and after being cooped together indoors for so long, everyone has wandered off to spend the afternoon by themselves as they please. Which Zay is fervently thankful for because he doesn’t think he can handle another minute of Maya and Lucas’s charged silences and tense faces.

“I just can’t see them hurting like this anymore,” he says. “All I’m saying is we should lock them together in the pantry, or in a closet or something — god knows there’s enough of those in this house! — and not let them out until they tell each other how they feel.”

Giving up on getting any peaceful reading done when Zay is so worked up, Smackle sighs and closes the book, leaving her finger in between to mark her page.

“Did you know that when researchers, documentary filmmakers, and wildlife photographers study a natural habitat, they are not supposed to interfere or influence the flora and fauna? They must only observe the manner in which the subjects function and interact, because the deliberate introduction of any external factor will cause a change in their natural response — their normal behaviour — to the situation.”

Zay turns around to face her, hiding a smile. Trust Isadora Smackle to use a science analogy to present her argument. “Don’t you think the natural response of our fauna so far has only been to fuck up their situation worse?”

“They have had a significant amount of external assistance,” she reminds him. “I am sure you are aware, even if you were not present, that on New Year’s in eighth grade my former arch-lovesis and once again platonic arch-nemesis decided he knew the correct solution to the triangle based on the value of only one side, with complete disregard for the values — the feelings — of the other two sides of the triangle when he announced that Riley still liked Lucas.”

Zay winces at the memory of Lucas recounting that night to him. Well intentioned or not, that was definitely a pretty bad fuck-up on Farkle’s part.

“Or Riley insisting that Maya only liked Lucas because she had ‘become Riley’,” Smackle continues, curling her fingers to make air quotes.

There’s no missing the sarcasm in her tone.

“And that putting Maya ‘back in her place’—” (more sarcasm and more air quotes) “—would automatically solve the triangle problem. As a straight A student, Riley should have been aware that such a hypothesis has no logic, and no basis in fact and reality. No individual can become another person. Such a phenomenon is scientifically impossible, even when the individual is cloned, in which case they would be genetically identical but still different individuals. And Maya and Riley have zero genetic similarities. Of course, the only solution to the triangle Riley would have accepted back then was where Lucas chose her and not Maya. And since she correctly perceived that was an unlikely possibility, her brain constructed such an absurd theory.”

Zay has to really concentrate to follow what Isadora’s saying, but when he works it out, he has to admit she has a point. But— “Actions and problems based on human emotions don’t always have clear scientific solutions like a math or a physics problem, sugar,” he says gently.

“I am aware of that,” she replies. “Science does not dictate feelings. Emotions cannot be quantified into scientific equations. I am learning that more and more from you guys every day. But neither Farkle’s nor Riley’s actions in those two instances were correct, Isaiah. You do not disagree with me on that, do you?”

“No,” Zay admits.

“Which is why non-interference is our best and most favourable course of action.”

Izzy is right. Farkle and Riley’s meddling has caused enough trouble for Maya and Lucas in the past. And as much as Zay wants to lock Maya and Lucas together in a small confined space until they confess their feelings for each other, he knows it’s not the right thing to do.

Smackle pats his hand. “I am aware that this frustrates you. But just think of it as observing a complicated mating ritual. That is what I do.”

Zay snorts in laughter at the image her words create. But then he notices her tapping her finger on the iPad she carries everywhere to make notes and record observations, and suddenly he isn’t sure she meant that as a joke. And he’s even more unnerved by the fact that he finds the idea of Izzy carefully documenting their friends’ behaviour quirky and endearing rather than weird (and maybe a little creepy). He briefly wonders if she has a file on him too, and what it might say. Deciding he doesn’t really want to examine that line of thought right now, he turns his thoughts back to the more immediate matter at hand: Maya and Lucas.

It’s just difficult for him not to meddle, he thinks as he starts pacing around the desk and Smackle’s chair again, because he’s the only one who knows both sides of the story. He knows why Maya believes Lucas doesn’t have feelings for her, that he only likes her as a friend (all thanks to some carelessly thrown around words during their ski lodge trip back in freshman year). And he’s quite familiar with Lucas’s constant refusals (that usually have nothing to do with whatever topic they happen to be discussing at that moment) to tell Maya how he feels about her because he firmly believes “she doesn’t like me like that anymore, Zay”. No one can fault him for wanting to get his dumb-dumb friends together once and for all.

But he can’t say or do a thing because both Lucas and Maya made him promise not to tell anyone, especially Maya and especially Lucas, that they still have feelings for the other person. (On the same evening, at the same event, no less: the sophomore year school dance. But that’s another story.)

Since both of them had threatened him with bodily harm — Lucas had gone as far as to threaten to throw him into Tombstone’s enclosure, but Maya’s chilling “You won’t know what hit you, Babineaux!” was far more effective — Zay had agreed to keep his mouth shut even though it’s killing him. (Though he’s quite offended that they think he can’t keep a secret!)

He’s pretty sure the need for secrecy is redundant, though.

For one, neither Lucas nor Maya are anywhere near as successful at hiding their feelings for each other as they think they are. In fact, the only ones supposedly oblivious to the other one’s feelings are Lucas and Maya themselves. Even Mr. and Mrs. Grady, the live-in caretakers of Farkle’s beach house, have asked Zay whether Maya and Lucas are dating because of their constant flirty banter and all the not-so-secret glances.

And neither of their two genius friends can have missed the way Lucas’s jaw dropped when he saw Maya in a swimsuit on their first day at the beach. (And pretty much every other time after that.) Zay had to nudge his best friend to stop him from being so obvious. “Put your eyes back in your head, buddy.”

Lucas had snapped out of his daze. “I’m not staring at Maya.”

“Never said who you were staring at,” Zay smirked. “Also, close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.”

(He hopes no one noticed that he had pretty much the same reaction earlier when he first saw Smackle in that green bathing suit!)

A couple of afternoons later, they’d ended up watching The Longest Ride (okay, Zay had deliberately picked that movie when it had been his turn to choose). It hadn’t exactly worked the way he’d imagined, though. Instead of seeing themselves in the characters of Sophia and Luke, having an epiphany, and confessing their feelings for each other, Maya sat through most of the movie stony-faced while Lucas couldn’t stop fidgeting and glancing at her every two seconds.

But despite his subtle meddling (he can’t help himself! And yes, it was subtle!), Zay knows Maya and Lucas need to figure this out on their own. More importantly, they need to want to be together of their own free will, and want it enough to actively work towards it.

Or more accurately, as Zay sees it, this is mostly up to Lucas, since he was the one who screwed up by telling Maya at the ski lodge that he didn’t like that they tangled without clarifying what he really meant, leaving Maya under the mistaken impression that she’d misunderstood his feelings for her.

Maya isn’t going to believe Lucas still likes her — more than likes her, since by now Zay’s convinced his best friend is more than halfway in love with her — unless she hears and sees it from Lucas himself.

The worst part of Lucas and Maya’s refusal to declare their feelings for each other is the resulting unresolved sexual tension. It usually takes the form of relentless teasing and bantering, but sometimes escalates to sudden, heated fights, like the one they had just a couple of days ago.

Maya made a passing remark about one of Josh Matthews’ college friends being dreamy, which pissed Lucas off enough to make a snarky comment about it. (Lucas’s severe dislike of Josh — despite Maya being well and truly over him — is no secret.) This made Maya snap at him about how it wasn’t any of his business who she liked and to keep his opinions to himself.

Instead of wisely shutting up and changing the subject, (because Lucas is rarely wise when it involves Maya and his feelings for her), Lucas defended himself by claiming he was only looking out for her, which made Maya really blow up. She’d stormed out of the room, but not before informing him that she neither needed nor cared for his protection, and that he could shove it you know where, leaving behind an enraged Lucas, a resigned Zay, two awkward geniuses, and a ringing silence.

Smackle and Farkle had both showed no outward reactions. But Zay noticed that while Farkle had looked on with narrowed eyes, as if he was trying to solve a puzzling problem, Isadora had watched them closely, as if she was observing a science experiment.

That’s when he’d also realized that Isadora’s eyes are really beautiful and mesmerising, the deep, dark brown colour of chocolate brownies. And she has really pretty hair, like a river of the melted chocolate that Grandma Gandy uses while making his favourite cookies. But he should probably stop comparing her features to chocolate because it’s making him hungry.

Smackle’s voice interrupts Zay’s wandering thoughts. “Aha!” she exclaims, staring out of the window behind the desk, which overlooks the courtyard with the swimming pool. “Looks like you will not have to wait much longer after all, Isaiah!”

Zay scrambles around the table to join Izzy, whose face is pressed against the glass. There, standing by the edge of the pool and carrying a giant red umbrella, is Maya. And facing her, unbothered by the soft, misty drizzle, is Lucas.

Thanks to the drizzle, and the study/library being a floor above, Zay and Smackle can’t see Maya or Lucas’s faces very clearly. But the scowl on Maya’s face and the smirk on Lucas’s lips are unmistakeable. Because of the fixed window, the two watchers can’t hear a word of the conversation below either, but whatever Maya says makes Lucas smirk even wider.

Zay knows his best friend, he knows exactly why Lucas is radiating such smug satisfaction.

After their fight, Maya has cold-shouldered Lucas as much as possible. She hasn’t avoided his presence or ignored him outright, but she hasn’t spoken to him directly for two whole days, and Zay knows it’s making him miserable.

Confronting her like this, alone and outside in the rain where she can’t ignore him, is Lucas’s way of trying to get her to acknowledge him, to speak to him. The smug smirk plastered across his face is because he’s succeeded in getting her undivided attention. Plus, Maya seems irritated, which means she’s not unaffected by him. Which is why the smirk is wider.

Zay wants to hide his face behind his hands — he knows goading Maya into reacting can’t end well for Lucas. But he can’t not watch.

Lucas takes a step closer to Maya, and then another.

Zay holds his breath, and suddenly becomes aware that he and Isadora are clutching each other’s fingers. Her hand is small in his, but her grip is firm. He is completely distracted for a moment by how nice it feels, how soft her palm is. And he’s suddenly worried that his own hand is sweaty.

But just as he’s trying to decide what to do, how to react, to think around the way his heart is beating madly fast in his ears, Smackle lets out a huff of frustration. Zay quickly looks out of the window to see that Maya has shifted her hold on the umbrella, angling it in such a way that her and Lucas’s faces and the top halves of their bodies are hidden behind it. He swears (a little louder than he means to; Izzy’s hand is still gripping his, and he’s nervous), cursing the umbrella for obstructing their view.

They can’t really tell what’s going on now. All they can see are Lucas and Maya’s feet. When Lucas’s feet move another step closer to Maya’s, so that the owners of the said pairs of feet are almost standing toe to toe, Smackle lets out an extremely un-Smackle-like squeal that exactly mirrors Zay’s giddy excitement. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! he wants to yell.

Instead, there’s a blur of motion, a flurry of action. Before they can comprehend what’s happening, there’s a loud splash as Lucas falls into the pool. Maya drops the umbrella and takes off in the opposite direction.

The two watchers just stare.

“Well,” Smackle says, releasing his hand.

Zay watches anxiously (and tries not to think about how he misses holding her hand), relaxing when his best friend surfaces, his hair streaming with water and plastered to his head, while Smackle presses her face to the window pane to follow Maya’s flight. She sees Maya head for one of the doors that leads back inside the house before turning her attention to the sight of a dripping Lucas as he emerges from the pool.

Zay notices her expression, and feels a sudden streak of pure irritation surge through him. “Will you stop ogling at him! You’ve seen him shirtless several times already!”

Smackle looks at him as if she’s pitying his intelligence. “Why would I deprive myself of such an appealing sight, regardless of how many instances I have witnessed it before? And why does it bother you anyway?”

Zay has no answer except that, for some reason, it does bother him. So he just grumbles as he leaves the room.

*****************

Zay finds Lucas in the bathroom of the room they share. He’s changed out of his wet clothes, but is yet to put on a t-shirt. He’s sat on the edge of the bathtub, drying his hair with a towel, scowling at the floor.

“Must you wander around shirtless?” Zay asks, exasperated.

“I didn’t know the sight of my bare chest affected you so much,” Lucas deadpans.

“Har har.” Everybody’s a comedian, Zay thinks. “That was just to warn you. You’re the one who complains when Smackle flirts with you.”

“Why does it sound like you’re more bothered by that than I am?”

“Pfft I’m not bothered. Why would I be bothered by Smackle flirting with you? She’s been doing it since before I moved to New York. Of course I’m not bothered.”

But it does bother Zay, so he changes the subject. “So,” he nods at Lucas’s state, “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

Zay just raises an eyebrow.

Lucas sighs. “She’s so—” He cuts himself off with a snarl of frustration.

“Why? Because she told you she didn’t care for your opinion on Josh and his friends? Or did you try to woo her with your horse-birthing story again? Because then if I was her, I’d push you into the pool too.”

Lucas flings his towel to the floor in fury and surges to his feet. “I’m just trying to look out for her, why doesn’t she get that?”

“Why don’t you just tell her you have feelings for her?”

“I don’t have feelings for Maya,” he says sulkily, being contrary just because.

Zay snorts. “Right. And I’m in love with Smackle.”

Lucas gives him a weird look as he pulls on a t-shirt.

Zay notices. “What?”

“You have been spending a lot of time with her lately.” Lucas points out.

“That’s because I can’t take anymore of your and Maya’s drama. It’s more painful than a visit to the dentist!”

Farkle enters, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. “What did you do, Freakface?”

“Maya’s the one who pushed me into the pool.”

“Did you tell her that story again about how you gave birth to a horse, because—”

Lucas growls.

Farkle takes a step back hurriedly. “Just checking.”

“How do you know what happened anyway?” Zay asks Farkle, reaching for some of his popcorn. “I thought you were going to spend the afternoon in your home theatre watching space documentaries?”

“I was.” For a second, Farkle’s expression darkens before clearing up again. “But I went to get a snack, and saw the whole thing from the kitchen windows.” He grins. “Maya’s a lot stronger than she appears. Did you see how she just shoved him into the pool?”

He mimics the sounds of a yell and a loud splash, then grins proudly, as if he’s personally responsible for Maya’s feat of strength.

Zay wants to laugh, but Lucas looks seriously unamused, so he swallows his chuckle. “Lucas here needs advice on how to make things okay with Maya again.”

“I do not!”

“Well, we’re still going give it to you, buddy, because I, for one, am sick of watching you two bicker.”

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Farkle asks.

“I don’t have feelings for Maya.” Lucas lies with much more conviction this time.

“Sure,” Farkle nods. “You don’t have feelings for her. That’s why you looked like you were imagining ripping me apart with your bare hands for dancing with her at the winter formal.”

“That was before I knew it was you!”

Lucas’s eyes widen the minute the words are out of his mouth. Zay and Farkle snicker at him, and he narrows his eyes.

“Look,” Farkle says after a moment, his tone uncharacteristically sombre, at odds with his lighthearted ragging mere seconds ago, “All I’m saying is that if she doesn’t feel the same way, you can go back to wallowing in your misery like you’re doing right now, except you’ll know for sure that she doesn’t like you. It’s better than being like this just because you’re too afraid to tell her how you feel.”

There’s an awkward pause as Farkle looks out of the window, and Lucas and Zay exchange uncomfortable glances.

It’s obvious that Farkle is speaking from personal experience. And Zay, being as astute as he is, doesn’t need Smackle-level genius to deduce that this has something to do with Farkle’s fight with Riley. He’s not sure, though, whether Farkle is urging Lucas to tell Maya how he feels because he has already done the same with Riley himself (and possibly learned that she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings, though Zay doesn’t believe that for even a second), or because he wishes he had.

Clearly Farkle needs some serious cheering up — whatever has been bugging him, he has hidden it successfully enough so far that no one suspected how much it’s really bothering him. But Zay knows his friends. The easiest way to get Farkle’s mind off his own problems right now is to focus his attention on something else. And how handy that they have a dumb-dumb friend who desperately needs their help.

Except Farkle’s plan has a slight flaw.

“How is telling him that it might be a lose-lose situation supposed to encourage him?” Zay demands.

Farkle turns to Lucas and raises his eyebrows even as he dips his hand into the bowl for more popcorn.

Lucas sighs. “No, Farkle’s right. I should just tell her.”

What.

Zay stares at him. “I’ve been after you to tell Maya how you feel before I even moved to New York, and Farkle’s right?”

“Hey, I’m his best friend, and I know how he thinks.” Farkle beams, seemingly having bounced back to his usual cheerful self.

“Wait a minute,” Zay protests, “I’m his best friend.”

“If you were his best friend, you’d know that sometimes the only way to get Freakface to do something is to call him a chicken.”

“Hey, I don’t need a reason to call him a freak or a chicken!” Zay claps Farkle on his shoulder as they share a laugh.

“Okay, guys. Who are supposed to be my best friends,” Lucas interjects, “Can we get back to my problem here?”

“It’s not rocket science,” Zay tells him, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, listen to him. He hangs out enough with Smackle to know by now what’s rocket science and what isn’t,” Farkle quips.

Zay eyes his two friends suspiciously, trying to decide why that statement sounds like it’s poking fun at him. He doesn’t buy their innocent expressions, especially as Lucas just tried to pass off a snort as a cough, and Farkle is trying (and failing) to suppress amusement of indeterminate origin. (Shit, he must be spending too much time with Smackle, he’s even beginning to think in her words.) But he decides Farkle is merely making an observation, one that is in no way incorrect.

“Exactly,” he says, turning to Lucas. “Listen to Zay the wise! Just take Maya down to the beach tomorrow morning before breakfast, when it’s all calm and quiet and peaceful and fresh, and tell her how you feel about her.”

“Okay.” Lucas takes a couple of deep breaths, like a diver before going underwater, as if he’s gearing himself to go find their blonde friend and talk to her immediately. “Find Maya. Take her to the beach. Tell her how I feel. That’s it. Easy peasy.”

But he looks green, as if he’s going to be sick.

“Perfect!” Farkle finishes the last of his popcorn. “Now, I need to go find my former arch-lovesis and once again platonic arch-nemesis—”

“Why?” Zay interrupts, realizing a second later how abrupt he sounds.

“....Because I want to discuss this hypothesis we have about—”

“Oh, just science then.” Zay holds up his hand, inexplicably relieved for some reason that he does not want to examine. “Say no more!”

“You should come along, it might interest you.”

Zay chuckles. “Since when have I ever been interested in science?”

“I thought you might be, since Smackle’s going to be there.”

“What?”

“Uh.. nothing?” Farkle edges away nervously.

“Damn right it’s nothing!”

*****************

Zay does go looking for Smackle (and Farkle!) a while later. But he doesn’t find them anywhere until they arrive together for dinner, which sours his mood.

*****************

Contrary to Zay’s expectations, Lucas isn’t able to lure Maya down to the beach the next morning, or even the morning after that. Consequently, he has to endure two whole days more of Lucas’s looks of longing and desperation, and Maya’s impatience with everyone, but especially Lucas. And if that isn’t bad enough, Smackle seems to have decided that the best way to cover up the awkwardness caused by their two friends’ silent feud is by flirting with Lucas as much as possible.

For some reason, this irks Zay more than anything else. His best friend is supposed to be focused on Maya. Instead, he hangs out with Smackle all day, genially laughing off her attempts at flirting instead of discouraging her like he used to, and joking around with her and Farkle, the latter having seemingly decided to hop on the “let’s-annoy-Zay” bandwagon as well. Only Maya seems to find them just as irritating, something that is evident from the way she glares daggers at everyone.

So, it’s a very grumpy Zay and Maya who make their way down to the kitchen for breakfast a couple of mornings later.

And they arrive just in time to witness Smackle yank Lucas forward by his shirt collar Maya-style and plant one on him.

Zay gapes.

Everything seems to blur around him. All he can do is stare, horrified, as Isadora Smackle kisses his best friend. On the mouth. He can feel a hot wave of shock — and... anger? — and panic (that one he can identify for sure) flooding through him, because all this time, he thought Izzy was only joking around when she flirted with Lucas. But now, Zay’s not sure what to make of the situation at all.

At last, several torturous hours later (though according to Farkle, it was barely ten seconds), Smackle lets go of Lucas, who looks about as gobsmacked as Zay feels. “Huh.”

“Smackle!” Zay squawks, finally pushing past his shock enough to manage to get some words out.

Everything rapidly comes back into focus, and Zay is suddenly aware of Maya beside him, frozen like a stone. In the other corner of the room, Farkle, whom he hadn’t even noticed so far, stands with his brows raised at the scene unfolding before them.

Smackle and Lucas turn, at last noticing that they have an audience.

“Oh,” Maya stammers, “Uh– um– continue– didn’t mean to interrupt...”

Zay is too busy staring gormlessly at Smackle to realize that Maya has left, until Lucas, belatedly emerging from his shocked stupor, calls out her name like a desperate, drowning man, and barrels out after her.

“Maya!” He hollers.

“Come on, I don’t want to miss this!” Smackle drags Zay after them, and Farkle follows close behind.

The three of them get to the back porch just in time to see Lucas catch up with Maya, who has already reached the beach. It’s amazing how fast someone as short as her can move. Even Lucas has had to sprint to catch up with her.

It would have made a pretty picture — Maya with her long golden hair and rust-coloured hoodie, on the beach, a pink rain-washed sky as the backdrop — if it wasn’t for the fact that she’s storming away.

They can clearly hear Lucas from where they’re standing. “Maya! Maya, listen to me!”

He tries to take her hand but she rips it from his, and continues to move down to the shoreline.

“Maya, please! She kissed me, I didn’t kiss her, I swear!”

Maya turns and kicks Lucas in the shin. Hard.

“Oww!”

Undeterred, he hops after her on one foot as she walks away, and manages to snag her wrist. She shoves him away, which, as he’s still hopping, sends him falling on his back in the sand. But he doesn’t loosen his grip on her hand, causing Maya to fall too, right on top of him, and sprawl all over his chest.

From their vantage point, Zay, Smackle, and Farkle have a clear view of the spectacle unfolding on the beach.

In the process of struggling to get off Lucas’s chest and onto her feet, Maya drives her elbow straight into his gut, winding him. He lets out a strangled “Oof!”, but manages to grip her other wrist. They end up rolling so that Lucas is partially on top of Maya, who is swearing loudly and foully enough to make sailors and soldiers blush. Her curses float back up to the trio on the porch.

“This isn’t what I had in mind when I told him to have a nice quiet talk with her on the beach in the early morning quiet,” Zay states as they watch their two friends grapple.

Suddenly, Lucas collapses on top of Maya with a yell of pure agony. Zay and Farkle simultaneously hiss in sympathy. It’s obvious what has happened: Maya just kneed Lucas where it hurts the most. None of the watchers can tell if it was an accident or deliberate.

“Get off me, you big fat oaf!” Maya wheezes. “You weigh as much as a horse!”

She manages to shove Lucas off herself, and leaves him curled up whimpering on the sand as she stalks away. But now there’s less stalking off and more weariness in her, as if the fight has gone out of her.

Impressively, after a couple of minutes, Lucas manages to get to his feet and stagger after her, though he’s clearly still in pain. He reaches Maya and turns her to face him, and she doesn’t resist when he cups her cheek to raise her face. (He doesn’t have to make her look up too much; he’s still hurting badly enough that he can’t stand straight and is hunched over.) His voice is too low for those on the porch to hear what he’s saying, but even from this distance, they can see the earnestness (and pain) on his face.

It feels like an eternity, but he finally steps forward, closing the distance between them. Maya doesn’t protest, and Zay, Smackle, and Farkle watch eagerly as he leans down, closer, closer.... and rests his forehead on her shoulder with a heartfelt groan, clearly still needing a minute to deal with the lingering trauma of Maya’s knee making contact with sensitive parts of his anatomy.

Maya winces in sympathy, but there’s no mistaking the smile on her face as Lucas finally straightens enough to kiss her.

“Yeesssss!” Smackle shrieks.

Farkle lets out a loud whoop and snaps off a couple of pictures with his phone, which Zay now realizes he’s had trained on their friends all along. (He’s sure the videos and photos Farkle has taken are already on their way to Riley, a peace offering and a way to make up after their fight. Riley’s going to be pretty steamed she wasn’t there to witness this historic event in person.)

Zay cheers too, of course he does. He’s happy for his friends, and he’s happiest for himself. His otp is finally together, after three excruciating years. Damn, that slow-burn was the slowest burn to ever slow-burn!

But he knows this was bound to happen sooner or later. (He would have made sure it did.) Which is why, after jumping up and down excitedly with the others for a few minutes, he turns his attention to the brunette with glasses next to him. “Whatever happened to ‘non-interference is our best and most favourable course of action’?”

Smackle gives him a devious look. “I was not interfering,” she says primly, with a smug quirk of her lips. “I was merely testing the practical application of the hypothesis Farkle and I have been discussing for the past few days. And as the conclusive results show, our postulation based on empirical evidence for both sets of observations was accurate.”

Practical application of the hypothesis.... Zay’s mouth falls open. “You’re unbelievable,” he tells the two geniuses, aiming a glare at Farkle.

“And after that, I can safely say I do not comprehend what the fuss is all about.” Smackle grimaces and wipes her mouth. “It was like kissing a sibling. It was worse than kissing a sibling.”

She pushes off the railing and takes the stairs going down to the beach to join Lucas and Maya, who have finally stopped kissing and are grinning up at their friends happily. (Lucas has finally managed to stand up straight, though it looks like he’s trying to avoid moving as much as possible.)

Zay’s eyes follow Isadora, not wanting to examine the sheer relief coursing through him that she thought kissing Lucas was worse than kissing a sibling.

Something she said before tugs his brain, and he replays her words in his mind. “Wait a minute. What did she mean by “both sets of observations”?”

Farkle smirks at him slyly.

Shit, Zay thinks as Isadora turns and gives him a coy smile. He’s in trouble.

#lucaya #lucaya fanfiction #girl meets world #maya hart #lucas friar #zay babineaux #isadora smackle #zaydora #girl meets world fanfiction #gmw fanfiction #gmw #my writing #my posts

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halalhyungwon · 7 years

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11 Questions Tag

I know this is hella overdue and hella long buuuut thanks @loeycoaster for the tag~~

i’m not rereading this so sorry for typos and just all around not-making-sense lol

1. What’s your best, or most prevalent, childhood memory?

idk, but my first thought was about how my brothers and dad and I would go to blockbuster on sundays pretty frequently lol

2. Who or what always makes you feel better when you’re down?

@black-zak-attack and @batmanlemonade, and also when my little brother calls me

exo and seventeen also distract me from my sadness 👍🏾

3. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

I’d like to go to Nigeria so I can see my family. I’d also like to travel to more states because it’s so weird to think how insanely huge the US is and how there will be parts of it I’ll just never see.

4. What are you most passionate about? ex. modern world issue, area of study, hobby, etc. Tell us about it!

Passion...? tbh I’m not sure if I’m genuinely passionate about anything, but there are things I like a lot. Like linguistics and baking and proving functions are bijections asdjkl

5. Who do you admire most in life? I look up to my dad quite a bit

6. What’s your opinion on the idea of soulmates?

I think about that sometimes and idk? Like, it’d be cool if there really is someone out there that’s like perfect for you, but at the same time what’s the point to knowing that someone is out there if you two may never meet? If it was guaranteed you’d meet your soulmate, then that’d be great. But then there’s also like, what if you meet someone and grow to like them, but you know theyre not your soulmate? Do you leave your soulmate hanging? Now your soulmates gotta find someone else too... There’s a lot of words floating in my head about this but idk if I can articulate them lol

7. What are you studying / planning on studying? Are you happy with it? Do you love it?(I ask because I’m personally clueless and miserable)

I'm studying math education and I have a minor in esol (english to speakers of other languages)

tbh for a good half of my college career I felt like math ed. wasn't for me, but I think it was mostly a self confidence thing. Now that I'm learning to accept the idea of making mistakes and not being perfect, I'm more comfortable. I also love learning different math concepts like group theory and algebra and infinite sets (the idea of different sizes of infinity both makes sense and is mind-blowing). and honestly I thank God for my math connections course that I’m taking this semester bc I swear I love math more and more each class.

I’ve had an inclination towards language for a while. The earliest I can pinpoint my desire to study language deeper is probably eighth/ninth grade when we did grammar stuff in English class. Everyone else hated it and couldn’t care less about identifying direct and indirect objects but it was literally! my fave! part! of English class!

8. What do you do to relax?

Listening to music and doodling/drawing are my top two things. They kinda give me something else to shift my focus too. I also like eating :-) 9. What movie can you watch over and over again, but never get tired of? (or book!)

I could watch Howl’s Moving Castle everyday for the next year and I will love it just as much if not more by the end of the year 10. What’s your favorite joke? I can’t think of a joke but have you seen that comic with goofy and the two hats bc asdjkl lmaoooo i can’t see it and not laugh a little 11. Tell us about your bias/biases and why you love them :)

AAaaaah where do I start?? Idk if I can express my love for them as eloquently as you did for yeol, honestly this is just gonna be freeform or stream of consciousness or whatever I’m just gonna type and see where my fingers take me asdjkl tbh just stop reading after this point. don’t read what ‘s after this..seriously... stop

SO uhh Do Kyungsoo?? I think he goes by D.O. because his last name is Do...Honeslty he really seems like the sweetest person this world has to offer and I can’t believe I was blessed by the Call Me Baby music video that introduced him to me like wow that day was literally life changing. Yes my eyes were drawn to him because he’s simultaneously adorable and hella attractive but then my ears picked up on his talent and he’s had my heart ever since he called me baby girl (i now have the ten minute loop of that part playing..) asdjkl Kyungsoo only wants to make everyone happy and never intentionally harms people (I mean yeah he’ll punch chanyeol but he’s not tryna harm him, ya feel? lol) He just wants what’s best for everyone and he wants to sing his heart out and be with his EXO family and act and live his wonderful life. I’m just really happy he has two passions and is able to pursue both of them!!

I’m actually kinda tired and I could say a lot more but my mind is drained so I’ll wrap this up

I think the reason why he is my bias (and jihoon is, for svt, but that’s for another time) is because I feel like we’re really alike personality wise? LIke we come off as shy and standoffish but really when we’re with people we’re comfortable with we can be free and wild and fun and loose and just laugh (God, I love his laugh!!! and his smile!!!!!) He’s kinda inspiring?? bc I’ve always had this feeling that my personality would push me back from doing things but he’s literally a kpop star but he loves watching movies by himself and watching anime and he’s a shy guy but he does what he can to make other people happy and really that’s me and I really look up to him and wow I knew i was soft for him but MAN am I SOFT for him. I really just wanna hug him but then again i also think about how we can both be shy and awkward so i always think that if i had the chance to meet him the last thing he’d wanna do it hug me aahaha lmaoo

but yeah uh. So this Do Kyungsoo guy? He’s pretty cool if you ask me

#this is hella long sorry #i'm not rereading this so theres probably hella typos too #but uhhh #yeah #here #tagged #ily malaika

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countdowntocake · 7 years

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50 Personal Questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes! Tagged by @leorysxi Tagging No One! 1. What kind of food can’t you stand? Anything that's really cheap or really processed (basically most candy and junk food, except for some quality chocolate). Also coconut. Fuck coconut. 2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? As of right now, having to remember princess lessons in MidCin and IkeSen. If I could just store infinite stamina (or at least like 10 hours) I'd be such a happy camper. 3. Have you got any useless talents? Idk if it counts as a talent but I can do multiplication, addition, and subtraction from left-to-right. 4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? Remembering things. 5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking. There are plenty, but off the top of my head Andy Biersack for guys (I don't even listen to BVB but I do listen to his solo album lol) and Zendaya or Sofia Vergara for ladies.  6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? Daydreaming or playing video games (I got my first hand-me-down DS when I was 7). 7. What is something you’re proud of? I'm plenty cocky about a lot of things, but if I had to pick it would be that I was selected out of like 700 kids in my middle school to represent them in a young leadership conference during my first year there.  8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? Vapidness in general.   9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a leader (see number 7)! One of my young childhood memories was when I was at the beach on vacation when I was maybe 6, and I was trying to direct a bunch of other little kids on how to build a proper sandcastle (I'm now currently discovering my interest in the field of architecture, funnily enough).  10. What kind of student are/were you? Extremely curious, tends to monopolize the teacher, teachers pet, has never dipped below a 3.7 GPA.  11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? I have absolutely no clue tbh.  12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion. The inevitability of my own death. 13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? Yes, and the first that comes to mind is Edea Lee from the Bravely Default series. She's the daughter of the Grand Marshal (king) of her kingdom, and was raised to follow in her father's footsteps. Though her somewhat biased education had led her to see the world in a very black/white way, her world view is forced to change as she journeys out into the world and joins the other heroes of the story. She wants to make her father and teachers proud, but does not hesitate to disobey them and her state when she sees the consequences of their actions. She's proud, headstrong, and kind (plus she loves food lmao I love Edea and I could talk about her for hours and I'm literally going to name my firstborn daughter after her and no one can stop me).   14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I don't really go to parties unless they're small gatherings with friends or family, and the idea of drinking in public terrifies me so idk I'll figure it out eventually.  15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? It will definitely take awhile. I can get crushes, sure, but if and when I start looking for someone to spend/dedicate my whole life to, I plan to find the right one the first time.  16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? This is going to sound shallow but 100 casual friends. No matter how perfect we are as friends, only spending time with one person wears thin after awhile.  17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? Neat-freak, but not extremely so. I just like me some good organization!  18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy. When I think of cozy, one old southern home in my dad's family comes to mind. In the middle of a town as rural as can be, it's a large, charming white cottage surrounded by massive oak trees. The only sounds that reach it are the occasional train the crosses the edge of the property. Whether I'd be out on the porch swing overlooking the yard, the sunroom in the back with an old couch along an entire wall with a massive window, or even perched in one of the massive oaks on the property, I'd stay there forever and nap.  19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? Like I said, I'm totally naming my first daughter Edea. 20. What was your favorite book as a child? When I was in second grade, I used to get in massive trouble for reading the Young Nancy Drew series in math class. I also love the Harry Potter series, and found a book called The School for Good and Evil on the first day of 6th grade and have loved the series since.  21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about Snapchat, Jake Paul, fidget spinners... I could go on.  22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated. Marina and the Diamonds! I hear everyone talking about Halsey or Lana Del Ray, but no one ever talks about Marina and her awesome music! ;-;  23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? I have no clue, but someone I could get comfortable with at least (not a guy, I'm way too shy!).  24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? I'm just going to be generic and say travel the world.  25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? If it's something I feel confident in my knowledge/ability to debate about, then I'll never hold back. 26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? I'm not one for fads usually, so I don't really have an answer. 27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? Idk, I was a pretty cool kid. I usually knew when something was too dumb for me. 28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? A quick wit. 29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) I usually make a wish-list, but I've always gotten plenty of video games, and in recent years I've been receiving jewelry as a gift more often (mostly from my mom because we watch JTV together sometimes and she knows my taste lmao)  30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? I only know English fluently, but I'm learning Spanish in school, slowly but surely.  31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? The countryside definitely has its draws (see number 18), but I've also lived in a city all my life and the convenience of everything is really nice...  32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? I never would have thought it as a kid, but I actually love reading nonfiction. You don't have to struggle to find something with a good story that's suited to your tastes, and you get to LEARN stuff.  33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? I guess it depends on what type of spotlight. If it's just drama/popularity, then no thanks, but I definitely want appreciation for what I do and what I've a accomplished so far. 34. Favorite holiday? Easter for pastels and nostalgia, Mardi Gras for fun and family, and Christmas for gifts and candy.  35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? PLANNING. Because STRATEGY. IS. ALWAYS. (srsly tho don't try to get me into a plan that hasn't been thought out yet because I will ask a million questions and start planning everything for you)  36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) Most things wouldn't be the same now since I did them as a child, but honestly if I could replay Breath of the Wild with a blank slate I totally would. I tried to take it slow but still ended up rushing the story ;-;  37. What hobbies do you have? Still video games and daydreaming :p but now with the lovely additions of fanfiction and YouTube!  38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? Teleporting? You can't kill a man with it, but it's still pretty useful.  39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you? (Depending on how you met me) I'm super polite and apparently "talk fancy", or that I swear like a sailor in the most deadpan way.  40. Something that took you way too long to figure out? I can't remember anything off the top of my head...  41. Worst injury you’ve had? I've never broken a bone, but once when I was like four I got this HORRIBLE carpet burn on my chin from watching cartoons on my stomach at a friend's house.  42. Any morbid fascinations? Not really. 43. Describe your sense of humor. Dry, often dark, and is typically enhanced by timing and delivery (deadpan, usually).  44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? I'm honestly pretty happy where I am. The past sucks in terms of conveniences and sanitation, and where I came from plays a huge part in who I am.  45. Something you are irredeemably bad at? Probably dancing.  46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through? When I was younger, my mom would ALWAYS correct me if I forgot to say ma'am or sir, but I'm so glad she stuck with it because now it's ingrained in my brain and helps me to be acknowledged/liked by my teachers and other adults.  47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) Face tattoo! It doesn't have to be that big, right? Theoretically it could just look like the perfect makeup permanently on my face (and lord knows I'm too lazy for makeup). But realistically, I'm never getting a tattoo. 48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? Realist? I like to operate under "prepare for the worst and hope for the best". I'm confident in my ability to get myself where I want to be, but I know I'll have to work for it. 49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? Probably something about my mind or abilities. I love being complimented on my looks of course (the other day when I was getting my hair done for school a stranger told me I have beautiful hair and I'm still happy about it), but whenever someone in MidCin compliments me as a princess I almost always screenshot it.  50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you? (In real life) I'm not a total stuck-up bitch. Yes I'm confident in myself and yes I came from a relatively well-off background, but I like to think that I'm nicer than I first appear.

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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i have a lot to talk about today, but i also kind of just want to chill and fish for bottle caps. even though fishing in pokemon games is infinitely more frustrating than talking about my feelings. it’s one of those days.

i woke up before my alarm went off again. it took me forever to fall asleep last night, like, a loooooong time. i couldn’t get comfortable, my pajama pants kept riding up and my bug bites were itching and hurting. diogi came in my room and stood in the doorway for a few minutes. i said hi to her, but she seemed to want something, and i couldn’t figure out what it was, so i told her she could stay as long as she wanted and closed my eyes. i don’t remember exactly what i was dreaming about, but it was kinda small scale. i put my alarm on snooze in the morning for a few minutes anyway.

then i got up!!! and showered!!!!! i didn’t shave though because of the bites. i instead gently soaped my legs. that didn’t help much at first, but after i dried off it seemed to settle them down for most of the day.

i posted some pictures i took yesterday to my tumblr and then ate some of my aunt’s leftover salsa and then i drove out to the hospital. the directions they gave me were not helpful and even though i got to the hospital complex ten minutes early i did not find the mental health department until about five seconds after noon.

turns out when i asked if they took my insurance yesterday the receptionist was either mistaken or lying. and when i checked the web site to see if they took my insurance it was either mistaken or lying. because they don’t take my insurance. i spent a half hour sorting it out, filling out paperwork, calling the insurance company with the intake lady, to find out they would not cover a single dollar if i was treated at this hospital. a thousand dollars a week! for a program that lasts eight weeks!!!!

they recommended a place down the road. i said ok and wrote down the name and looked it up when i got home, and it was one of those places that i had looked up previously on my insurance company’s network site and it had terrible reviews.

then dad came in and yelled at me about not having looked up any of my graduate program acceptance statuses yet. he said “how could you not open those emails?” and i shrugged and said “i’nno” and turned and stared at my inbox. i clicked open a random email. then i closed out of it, then i opened it again. dad stood behind me and watched my screen. i closed the email, and then opened it again.

this is why mom thinks i’m stupid.

when dad left i did open every graduate email and updated my checklist. i was rejected from eight places. and accepted to one! i didn’t hear back from two other ones. i emailed the university of florida about my change in transcript.

then i called mom about the insurance stuff. she said i shouldn’t have sent that email. it was a “red flag raiser.” i felt really deflated. like... i’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for months. i finally just gritted my teeth and did it. and now i did it wrong immediately and unforgivably. they might change their minds now since i won’t have a math minor or quantum 2 under my belt starting off... and apparently i wasn’t supposed to inform them that i could not complete my final (optional) semester. mom said i should only have told them if they asked.

that is, of course, a pile of bs, and my academic adviser told me i should let them know months ago when i visited campus.

then i celebrated my accomplishment by watching a review of, um, i think it was sharknado, yeah. dad started painting the hallway a few minutes before i started. i told him i got into university of florida.

then about twenty minutes into the video dad popped his head into my doorway and said “so you’re not talking to me now?” really annoyed.

it was really confusing and disorienting? because i had given no indication that i was ignoring him or giving him some kind of passive aggressive silent treatment? and he didn’t try to speak to me in the time in between our last interaction?? like, i thought we were just both minding our own businesses. but apparently there was some kind of problem?

then he told me to paint the doors. i said ok and continued watching my video, figuring i’d just start painting after the video was done in 5 minutes. dad came in a minute later and told me to paint the doors again. i looked at him like, can you not see i’m already doing something else? i’m not always available to just, jump up and do chores on command. i did something difficult and something massively time-wasting that took all my social energy and i was taking a half-hour break before doing anything else. but that wasn’t good enough i guess!

so instead of calling my insurance company i painted a door. then i stopped and called the insurance company. while i was talking to the insurance lady my mom came home and started trying to talk to me. even though she could clearly see i was on the phone and saying things to someone on the other end, and SHE was the one who had previously asked me to call the insurance about my coverage options. while i was being transferred mom asked if i wanted help and i said ok and gave her the phone. then i turned around and saw a spot on the door i had missed and made a small noise and went to get the paintbrush. while i was filling in the spot mom jerked as if i had slapped her and said “i didn’t wipe it off!”

like, i hadn’t even looked at her or made any indication that i blamed her in any way for the thin paint? it’s just that, the new color is almost the same as the old color and i had just missed a patch. but mom acted like i had personally attacked her when i was... reacting to a mistake i had made.

i’m so goddang tired of mom and dad! jesus christ! mom does this ALL THE TIME. like i’ll come downstairs and ask her where diogi is or something and she’ll act like i hurt her feelings somehow or insulted her. and dad blames me for things i could not possibly have known about, or expects me to just get up and do what he says immediately without question while i am ACTIVELY DOING SOMETHING ELSE. he used to do that when i was little. i would be literally using the bathroom or brushing my teeth and he’d call and i’d come when i was done and he’d yell at me for not coming immediately. i’d tell him i was peeing and he’d say “so?”

or he’d yell at me for not coming ALL THE WAY over to him. i would come to the stairs and ask what he needed and he’d say “come here!” and i’d say “what do you need” and then he’d insist i come to him. and then when i got over to him he’d say something pointless, or send me back upstairs to do a chore.

this also happened while i had my heart problem, so running and climbing stairs literally hurt me.

asher told me the whole “inappropriate reaction to nothing at all” is absolutely gaslighting. i mean, i expected as much. i’m kinda pissed that they are still doing this when i am 24 years old. just because i can’t take care of myself they are acting like i am 9 years old again.

mom used to play this game. it’s called “you’re wrong.” basically she’d call me over and scold me for something or other, it didn’t matter what. if i argued, i was giving her “attitude” and would be punished. if i agreed, she’d tell me i was wrong and i would be punished. if i apologized, she would tell me i didn’t really mean it and i would be punished. if i just stared at her, i was “giving her attitude” and would be punished. if i didn’t look at her, i wasn’t paying enough attention and therefore “giving her attitude” and would be punished. if i had literally anything in my hands or ears she would rip it out. this game was her favorite in the car with me in the passenger seat.

we played it at least twice a day, every day, until i was 14 and left the house for boarding school. and then when i came back for summers, we would play it twice a day, every day. when she came to visit on weekends it was the “you don’t really appreciate this school, you’re unhappy here, you should come home” game instead. then when i had to come home from villanova with suicidal depression for a year we played this game twice a day, every day.

when it wasn’t mom, we played a variant on the game with craig called “you’re abusing me.” for two years until i tried to kill myself. then i went home and it was back to “you’re wrong.” at least i got to go to community college three days a week for an hour. got me out of the house.

i wonder how much my dorm parents in high school knew about my mother problem. i think every adult on campus breathed a sigh of relief when i finally started seeing a therapist when i turned 18 and didn’t have to disclose to mother what i told the therapist. but then college happened anyway.

(when it wasn’t “you’re wrong,” it was getting hit. or kicked.)

i often found, and still find, myself wishing that i had died of my heart problem. the 10 years before the surgery that i was alive were a waste of time, and the 14 years since then have been a waste of time.

well, i got some facilities to look into from the insurance lady. i think i’ve got 7 places, 2 of which i had previously rejected. after that i painted the other three doors, and painted the hallway wall down to about the dogs’ eye level so wiley wouldn’t lick the wet paint. then i fed the dogs and took them outside for a bit. then i ate the rest of the salsa. the whole thing. it must have been more than one measuring cup’s worth. then i took wiley for a walk. little kids are always happy to see wiley even if they don’t stop to pet him. and one of the guys whose house i always walk past smiled at me when he was getting out of his car. dogs, especially pretty dogs like wiley, are a good way to attract positive attention.

after that i took the dogs outside again and got DEVOURED by mosquitoes. i was so upset. i put on so much bug spray. i realized that the bug spray is 13 years old though. it’s got my initials on it from when i went to christian summer camp while i was in christian school. i will try something a little less out of date next time. in the meantime i was in so much pain and discomfort and burning that i corralled the dogs inside and groaned and hustled upstairs and slapped some itching cream all over my ankles. the bites were hot to the touch and the skin was pulled taut from the swelling. it’s awful. they have cooled off since then... it’s back to just being itchy. and the spot i know i got bit hasn’t swelled up yet.

i thought about scratching my face to hell, but i stopped myself. i’ve been using some neutrogena wash and that’s helped create less... incentive to scrape off my skin. and i’ve been trying to leave alone the old wounds because they are already taking a very long time to heal.

i went downstairs and had a snack right before 10. a tortilla with cheese. the only thing besides chips and salsa i’ve eaten today. i just wasn’t very hungry at all. maybe i’m still full from yesterday’s lunch. i did remember to take my meds more or less on time though.

so... i did a lot of work today. made some important phone calls/emails. i got plenty of exercise. i managed to not hurt myself or get in a car crash. and i kinda mumbled along with the radio while i was driving so i did something vaguely artsy today. tomorrow i’ll call a hospital thing and maybe try to draw. and go to therapy, i gotta do that too. i’m not sure what asher’s schedule looks like and i’m a little apprehensive about inviting him over right now, both because my house is covered in painting supplies and because of the stuff he’s got going on. maybe i’ll bring it up tomorrow.

#suicide thoughts #emotional abuse probably #physical abuse definitely #really long

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entergamingxp · 4 years

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The Definitive Ranking of Every Halo Story Campaign

April 9, 2020 2:30 PM EST

After playing through every mainline Halo game over the past year or so, here’s how every entry’s campaign stacks up against the rest.

For the past year and a half or so, I’ve been gearing up for the release of Halo Infinite by revisiting every mainline game in the series. Despite having played nearly all entries countless times, this was the first instance in nearly a decade that I was finally returning to some of these classic shooters. I also did this seven-game playthrough with fellow DualShockers writer Michael Ruiz, and speaking for us both, I think it ended up being some of the most fun either of us have had with video games in a hot minute.

Of course, now that I’ve finished my playthrough of the saga, there’s only one thing left to do: rank every game in order from worst to best. Using math, science, and my own objectively correct intuition, I’m going to let you know which Halo game is the cream of the crop and which ones just can’t match up. You’ve surely seen Halo game rankings, but I can promise you: this is the only one on the entire internet that is completely factual.

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Also, as the title indicates, my rankings here are only going to be based on the campaigns from each Halo entry. While I have spent a fair amount of time with each game over the years and can still recall my feelings of multiplayer, Forge, Firefight, Spartan Ops, and a variety of other features that have been present, we’re just going to be sticking to nothing but campaigns for this ranking. So before you go yell at me in the comments and tell me that I should’ve put one game higher or lower than another, keep this in mind.

7. Halo 5: Guardians

If you clicked on this article and expected to see Halo 5: Guardians in last by default, well, you weren’t wrong. Unlike a lot of other fans, I really didn’t remember strongly disliking Halo 5’s campaign before playing it again here recently. Upon finishing it up a little under a week ago, yeah, I can now reaffirm that it’s definitely not great.

Overall, there isn’t one major thing I can point to in Halo 5 that makes it a lesser experience than every other entry. Instead, it’s a death by a thousand cuts situation. Most notably to a lot of fans, myself included, playing as Locke and Osiris Team for 80% of the campaign isn’t as fun as it is to play as Master Chief. Then there’s also the fact that the squad-based gameplay that 343 tried to lean into with this entry just doesn’t work well at all. Since the game is more focused on fighting as a team, 343 littered the environments with way more enemies than in past entries, leading to me and my companions being downed in this installment way more than any other Halo campaign. Plus, I cannot begin to express how lame it is to have to fight one boss nearly ten different times over the course of the game.

There are some redeeming aspects of Halo 5, but those mainly are present in the game’s multiplayer offering, which, as I said, isn’t being taken into account here. As such, Halo 5: Guardians easily stands as the worst in the series and makes me somewhat nervous about Infinite‘s prospects later this year. If anything, I’m glad that Halo 5 at least prompted 343 to return to the drawing board and create an entirely new engine before continuing on with the development of the franchise.

6. Halo 4

This one was actually really tough for me because largely, I think Halo 4‘s campaign is pretty darn good. For 343’s first outing, Halo 4 ended up boasting a tight, concise campaign that feels excellent to play. Like, seriously, before 343 really mixed up the franchise’s control scheme with Halo 5, 4 was the best installment in the series by far with the “classic” shooting stylings. Not only that, but all the new additions to the game in the way of new enemy types, new weapons, and new vehicles all felt great to me.

I think the only reason it didn’t end up going higher on this list is just because I really cannot get invested in the new direction that Halo 4 took the series’ story. Look, I’m not a big Halo narrative guy by any means. I’ve never read any of the novels, listened to spin-off podcasts, and honestly, I don’t care if that TV show ever gets up and running. Still, I just find it hard to care about Master Chief’s current struggle with the Forerunners. DualShockers‘ own Steven Santana wrote a piece for us a few months back talking about how Halo‘s storytelling felt better when it was smaller, and I totally agree with that. For all of the qualities of Halo 4 that I like, I wish it was a bit easier to get invested in.

5. Halo 3

Despite being the game where Master Chief finishes the fight, Halo 3‘s campaign isn’t as great as I remember it. Yes, there are standout levels like The Covenant and Tsavo Highway that are excellent, but it’s the missions in between that I forgot were so straightforward and bland until this recent replay. This isn’t to say that the campaign is bad though, because it absolutely isn’t. Halo 3 has so many memorable moments, it ends on a high note, and altogether just wrapped up the initial Halo trilogy in a fantastic way.

Halo 3 is arguably the zenith of the franchise’s popularity and it’ll likely never get bigger than it was when it launched in 2007. Even though it’s my least favorite installment in Master Chief’s original three-game outing, Halo 3 is still excellent in its own right and is a game that an entire generation of players will look back fondly on for years to come.

4. Halo: Combat Evolved

It’s honestly wild how well Halo: Combat Evolved holds up. For a game that is nearing its twentieth anniversary (that’s so bizarre to even say), Combat Evolved still feels fresh to this day. Having played through the game countless times in my life already, I was really surprised in this most recent playthrough at how fun the game still is. This just speaks to how well-polished and realized Bungie’s initial outing was on the original Xbox.

Comparatively, Combat Evolved doesn’t reach the same highs as other campaigns in the series, but from front to back, it’s still a much stronger experience than a handful of other installments. As such, it slots in nicely right here in the middle of the pack.

3. Halo 2

In the opening hours of Halo 2, Master Chief prevents a bomb from blowing up his ship. He then drags that bomb with his bare hands to an airlock, jumps out into space with it, flies into the middle of a Covenant ship, and then detonates it before safely landing back aboard his own aircraft.

Halo 2 is far and away the most memorable campaign in the Master Chief line of Halo titles, which is crazy because you don’t even play as Chief in about half of the game. Bungie’s bold idea to place you in the shoes of the Arbiter, the initial antagonist of the first Halo, paid major dividends in this sequel. Not only did this decision help spice up each mission a bit and make them feel more varied, but it further fleshed out the world of Halo to great effect. The way that Master Chief and the Arbiter’s stories also end up crossing over near the conclusion of the game is also fantastic.

Halo 2 also just has so many little things that really put it over the top, too. The game’s score features the work of legendary guitarists Steve Vai and John Mayer, the ending cutscene is perhaps one of the most iconic in the history of video games, and the Anniversary edition which launched with Halo: The Master Chief Collection is a truly fantastic remaster. If Combat Evolved was the game that brought console shooters to the masses, this sequel is what made Halo a household name.

2. Halo: Reach

From the outset of Halo: Reach, you know how the campaign is going to end. Not only had Reach’s history been well-documented in Halo lore, but the campaign opening itself makes it clear that you will not be surviving this mission. And with this at the forefront of your mind, it makes Reach all the more compelling and intriguing to play.

Even though the entire Halo series is set on the backdrop of war, Reach is really the only game that captures that wartime atmosphere. Some of the missions within Reach are set on the backdrop of massive battlefields, reminding you constantly that you’re just one cog in this larger scheme. Plus, Reach is one of the few Halo entries that actually makes the Covenant feel threatening, unlike the fodder that they can sometimes be for Master Chief. Reach also makes you feel overwhelmed in the best way possible, with the epilogue mission really nailing this idea more than anything else.

Bungie really went out on a high note with Halo: Reach. Not only is the storytelling and journey of Noble Team perhaps the best single arc in the series, but some of the new ideas, guns, and mechanics that were introduced here worked incredibly well and are still present in the franchise to this day. Bungie was really starting to take the Halo saga in some interesting directions before its work on the series ended. At the very least, I’m glad that the studio gave us Reach before moving on.

1. Halo 3: ODST

I’m going to be honest: I’m shocked that Halo 3: ODST ended up reaching the top of my list here. To me, stepping into the shoes of an overpowered super soldier is half of the allure in playing each Halo campaign. For the best installment in the series to end up being the spin-off entry of Halo 3 that doesn’t have you playing as a Spartan and instead forces you to utilize a faceless, voiceless soldier shouldn’t work as well as it does, but here we are.

Compared to every other Halo entry except for maybe Reach, ODST just oozes a distinct tone and feeling that is never present in other campaigns. Backed by the best Halo soundtrack of them all, ODST‘s focus on isolation in a somber environment makes it wholly unique compared the loud, bombastic tone that is frequently found in other installments.

More than anything though, I think what I realized I loved the most about ODST was just how the campaign was constructed. Instead of just going from one mission to the next without pause, Halo 3: ODST is a semi-open world title for some brief portions. You’ll have to wander around the streets of New Mombasa and try to figure out what happened to the rest of your squad before being launched into a flashback sequence that details what they’ve been up to. It’s a simple idea on paper, but it’s one that makes ODST feel more cohesive in its storytelling than any other Halo campaign.

I’ve had a lot of ideas in recent months about how 343 Industries should look to construct Halo Infinite’s campaign and I really hope that they look to ODST for inspiration. While we don’t know what Infinite might look like just yet, if the game does go in a more open-ended direction, ODST‘s template blown up on a larger scale could potentially work out really well. If the Halo series wants to bounce back moving forward, 343 would be smart to borrow ideas from the franchise’s best campaign of them all.

April 9, 2020 2:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/04/the-definitive-ranking-of-every-halo-story-campaign/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-definitive-ranking-of-every-halo-story-campaign

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godaddydave · 5 years

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Digital Course Secrets by Kevin David. Going Out with This Last Hoorah Before He Retires Forever?

Is this your last Chance to be mentored by one of the greatest geniuses of our time before he retires?

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Kevin usually charges $5,000 - $25,000 to work with clients but this training reveals the exact same methods to you for FREE! Register now before this is taken offline in the next few days.

Take a look at this review from Jake Tran:

“holy s**t, this is WAY more in-depth than Dan Henry’s Sold Out Courses and any other course I’ve taken” — my first impression of this course.

Jake Tran

Apr 29

By the end of this post, which I can confidently say is the most in-depth and transparent review of Digital Course Secrets online, you’re gonna find out:

If DCS is worth nearly $2,000?!?!

Is Kevin David a scam or just another online guru trying to you a course? 🤔

Scam?…How it compares to other “how to build a course” courses like Dan Henry’s Sold Out Courses

Selling a course vs dropshipping, Amazon FBA, etc

My actual experience with the course

The results and the exact amount of money I’ve made 💸

And is it right for you, can YOU be successful at it

Oh yeah…

Unlike every other DCS video or article, I will actually admit that the links below are affiliate links.

I talk about passive income all the time on my channel and I would be hypocritical if I didn’t practice what I preached.

But like always, I will try to be as transparent and over deliver as much as possible.

So if you want to know for sure if you should invest 2k, make sure you read to the very end of this post. My name is Jake Tran and let’s get into it. 😊

Rather watch the video version of this review? Click play 😊

Selling a Digital Course vs. Dropshipping, Amazon FBA, Real Estate Investing or Flipping, etc.

too many choices…

Have you ever wondered

why there are SO MANY courses on dropshipping, digital marketing, Amazon FBA, real estate investing, stock trading, etc.?

And why all the popular entrepreneurs have a course? Tai Lopez, Grant Cardone, Tony Robbins, and even Kevin David himself.

Selling a course is way easier than actually doing what you teach.

Take real estate investing for example…

What it takes to invest in rental properties. You have to:

Look for months for the right deal

Get your offer through and get it under contract

Hopefully, it passes all your inspections and criteria

Put thousands down on a down payment for the mortgage

Put MORE money in for renovations doing the work yourself or dealing with contractors

And then FINALLY, you get to find the right tenants

And then HOPEFULLY, the property cash flows if you did your math right.

Compare all that work to just:

Taking the knowledge and experience you have investing in properties

Make a few videos

Wrap it up all nice into a course priced at $997

Sell a few copies, let’s say just 10.

And then BOOM.

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Other killer benefits of a course:

No upfront capital

Infinitely scalable

No manufacturing

Low employee count

Everyone knows something people are willing to pay to learn

“But Jake, what if I don’t have anything to teach?” 😭

I felt the same way, here are some ideas to get your imagination rolling.

Dating,

playing an instrument,

learning math or some other subject

Or just doing interviews with successful people and putting that into a course (an easier way around it)

Or… How to be successful in the career you’re in right now

Maybe that’s a course on

how to be a successful accountant, psychologist, or

how to land a $40/hr Web Development Job At 19 Years Old With Little To No Experience And No Degree… 😉

You guessed it right…

The last example is mine and full transparency, what I’m working on doing right now.

I actually already have a product that I’ve been selling on my YouTube channel and even though it’s super simple and only cost like $9, I’ve made HUNDREDS of dollars off of it from a tiny channel.

Having something small like this to validate your course idea also happens to be an

important section in the course.

📷

But why Kevin David? Is he a scam? 😈

I’m not gonna spend too much time on this because Kevin David’s track record and student results speak for themselves.

He started as a corporate accountant to 8-figure ($10,000,000) entrepreneur with 450,000 subs and three major successful courses:

Shopify

Amazon FBA

Facebook Ads

So you’re learning from a guy that’s done this 3 times.

One cool note:

He admits most of his money and what he makes today is all from online courses.

So you’re actually learning what he’s putting all his time and money into today.

I help run his phone sales team which gives me the opportunity to work really closely with him and just from our interactions with him off camera, you can tell he just really cares about his students.

💖Things I LOVE about DCS 💖

It’s just super in-depth. I really appreciate that. More than most courses (and I’ve taken a ton lol)

There are honest estimations of how long each section should take to complete. Another cool addition not in many courses. It gives you a good baseline and realistic expectations.

It’s NOT just how to build a course — it goes over everything around building a course, and audience, and a movement (cheesy but true)

You get to leverage Kevin’s success and experiences

Monthly live Q&A

There’s a juicy refund policy

The network you have access to

This one deserves its own section.

All the success stories Kevin mentions are in that private group you get access to.

We’re talking millionaires and multi-millionaires in the very same Facebook Group as you! 😲

Many people wonder how to befriend and get successful people into their network. One of the simple ways is to go where successful people hangout!

📷

❌Things I DON’T like about DCS ❌

A big part of the marketing emphasizes how anyone and everyone can launch a digital course movement.

Buttttttttttt, not really…

Here’s the thing. Kevin makes this sound super simple to do.

And with the resources in the course and the community, it IS simple to do.

But people often confuse simple with easy.

This is definitely not easy to do.

It takes a lot of work, planning, research, action, and time to build up an audience and launch a successful course.

My worry is that people will come into this thinking it’s way easier than it will be and waste 2k after they give up.

But from my perspective,

I’ve taken too many courses where they’re NOT enough info for me to be overwhelmed (and effective).

So I appreciate this, but fair warning.

What’s the verdict? 🤔

I believe this is the PERFECT course for someone who’s willing to go all in and has been itching to release a course.

Especially compared to the other options out there. (Sorry Dan Henry, I still love you.)

This NOT for someone who’s:

Looking to just dabble

Looking to JUST release a course

Make a quick buck (although you probably can, it won’t be sustainable)

And overall, if you want to build a true personal brand, help a lot of people, and get paid handsomely in the process, DCS is Jake Tran approved. 😉

📷

🔥 If this is you,

Check out the webinar

HERE.

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I highly recommend the webinar if you need more info, are still on the fence a bit, or if any of this stuff sounds remotely interesting to you — go check out the webinar.

The worst that can happen is that you end up learning something lol.

🚀 And if you’re like “I’m ready to go!”,you can sign up right away

HERE.

👈

Again, these are affiliate links and if you found this helpful, I’d really appreciate if you’d use them 😁

Hopefully, I’ll see you on the inside

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dashingmatrix138-blog · 6 years

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Value Ladder SerValue laddervalue ladder conceptSales FunnelSales Funnel LabsSales Funnelssuccess in online marketingmarketingonline businessvalue ladderSales Funnel SecretsClickFunnels Templatesknow howMarketingMarketing SecretsDaily Goalsies [Part 1]

"Hi, I’m Zach Miller and today I’m going to be talking about The Value Ladder. Now when it comes to The Value Ladder, a lot of you guys are asking me questions about: “do I have a full Value Ladder”, “is it complete”, “what am I doing wrong”, “should I switch this step”, “how many products should I add”, “what about these upsells”. I’m going to go through all of that in a series of videos/posts/podcasts. So today, is Day 1. I don’t know how long this is going to go on, but it’s definitely multiple videos. I want you guys to be able to learn this in consumable parts. What I need you to understand, is that for 5-10 minutes, you need to stop what you’re doing, look at the screen, look at what we’re going over. This The Value Ladder series is something that is absolutely crucial to have visibly [in front of you] so that you can understand and really absorb what we’re going over. Now, I want you to obviously see me, connect with me. But I want you to also see what I’m writing down because we have a lot of drawings that visually enhance this series. How Many Steps In A Value Ladder? I know a lot of you sometimes get confused because I’ll draw a Value Ladder with multiple steps. And you’ll say to yourself, “well I thought it’s always been three steps Zach”. But most will have four steps to start [and a continuity below]. Think about it. You’ve got your Freebie [1], your Front-End [2], your Middle [3], your Continuity Program [4], and then your Back-End [5]. Getting back to Josh’s question, it’s not a matter of steps, it’s a matter of value levels that you deliver. However, most often I like to keep it simple: Freebie, a Front-End, a Middle and a Back-End. So you know, the first two steps of The Value Ladder, the Freebie and the Front-End, can be combined if you do a Free + Shipping (kind of like I do here). With that in mind, you’re going to have three steps. But always remember your Continuity/Micro-Continuity as well [, although not counted as a “step” on The Value Ladder]. Once you build out that Value Ladder, you start having six, and with the Back-End, seven figure businesses. What’s Next? Just like I talk about inside of my Email Mastery course, you need to get that number (you need to earn each month to be happy) in your head right NOW. That’s what that 100 Clicks A Day Formula is for. 100-clicks-a-day lp What is it? The formula shows you how to turn 100 clicks a day into $20,000+ each and every month. I know it’s seems impossible, but when we do the math [and remember the Value Ladder’s importance], we’ll see it really does only take 100 clicks a day to make a six (or even seven) figure business! Your Front-End vs Your Back-End Understand, your Front-End is only there to break you even. Your Back-End, your Middle, your Continuity – that’s what really makes your profits. Why? Because you’re remarketing to an audience [via email] that you’ve already built a relationship with. We’re only looking to get as many people as we can through the top of our sales funnel. I call this a Front-End. Then [those buyers are] going to go through the rest of The Value Ladder. Just remember, the life-blood of any company is a continuity, [which charges clients on a recurring basis] for 6-12-infinite months. Zach Millers Value Ladder I personally like to do Micro-Continuities. [They] have an end date, and that end-point is the perfect time to contact these people about my Back-End. They’re more likely to participate after time has passed, than right away up-front. The entire point of the Middle, Continuity and continued communication is to get buyers to buy the Back-End. For me, that’s my Inner Circle, which is a $25,000 / yr coaching program. Sounds crazy, right? But, there are steps to get there, and that’s why people buy. They step up to that decision over time through The Value Ladder. So, I want to provide quality to all of my clients, so those that can pay, do. Don’t worry about criticism or people who cannot afford that level. That’s why we have The Value Ladder. There’s a step/level for each person’s time & financials. Is There Life Beyond The Value Ladder? YES! Once you get to a certain point, you’ll end up creating another Value Ladder like some famous entrepreneurs: Mike Filsaime, Jeff Walker, Mike Dillard, Russell Brunson, Dan Kennedy. They all created another Value Ladder after making a successful business [with their first Value Ladder]. So you’re going to have another [Value Ladder] after that, and it’s going to be its own separate idea. It’ll have it’s own unique Front-End with a slightly different focus. Keep your one Desired Result close in each Value Ladder you build. You may not always cover everything that you really want to, so that’s what other Value Ladders are for. Quick Example For example, you want Mind-Body-Health-Wealth, but you know money is one thing, and mental health is a completely different one. This is where you develop different Value Ladders. [But remember, your first Value Ladder should make you six-figures before moving on.] Even if you don’t feel like there is “another Value Ladder” – there is! When you’re looking to achieve a new desired result, [then that’s a new Value Ladder]. If I’m going for ultra high-end clients, which is a small percentage of people; most entrepreneurs will build a second Value Ladder that offers something slightly different. And you can build a whole new business and make those new 3 or 4 steps. Once you build that out, you have a million dollar business. The Back-End’s Importance It [the Back-End] should earning at least be $500,000. Don’t believe me? I show you inside of my FREE Webinar, High Ticket Hack. Again, that’s the minimum you should earn. Is that all profits – no. But your sales people alone, should be closing $500,000 [in Back-End sales] for you every year. [And when most] have that put into place, [they build] another Value Ladder. It’s the idea of, “I don’t want to have all my eggs in one basket” and I get that. But I would say “the riches in the niches”. Whatever you choose to go into, creating an ultra-high Value Ladder that eventually goes on to offer a 1 million dollar program or you just build another Value Ladder that goes up and offers a $100,000 coaching program. Back-Ends can keep [being added] or branch into a new Value Ladder. Just keep adding steps to go up to the million dollar range. You wouldn’t think there would be people that would say “YES” to that high of a price tag, but there are! You’ll be amazed once someone says “YES”. And they will, eventually. It’s going to be like that “Eureka moment”. That’s what you need to keep in mind throughout the entire equation. Everyone Has A Value Ladder (Even a Chiropractor) Chiropractor Value Ladder Now, a lot of people think, “Well, Value Ladders only fit in with the certain businesses. Like the ones that I’ve seen or heard you talk about Zach”. But that’s NOT true! There’s a Value Ladder inside of every single business. I prove that even inside of my books Sales Funnel Secrets. I even go into a mechanic’s Value Ladder & a chiropractor’s Value Ladder… which for a lot of people, I’d like to have you just try, just try to even have you think about ANYTHING you go to the chiropractor for, that isn’t an adjustment. That’s hard, isn’t it? You wouldn’t think there’s a Value Ladder in there, but there is. Every business has a Value Ladder! One misconception is that you already have a completed Value Ladder, and most don’t! See, everyone has to start somewhere. Most have a Front-End, some have a Middle, some are affiliates and that’s OK. Subscribe Now Subscribe to Learn My Secrets Learn how I communicate to my audience via email, then convert subscribers into buyers via sales funnels - and most importantly how I create a business that loses thousands on the front-end and makes millions on the back-end. Enter Your Best Email Address... SUBSCRIBE NOW What Are The Price Points? When you have a Value Ladder, you have to have multiple steps [, thusly] multiple values. [Your Middle] course may have to be six or seven hours, [then you can] charge $1000. Now that’s one-time and you can profit forever from that course you made. But when you’re making a million that, doing sales – it’s a little complex for me to explain it. But let’s just say – it isn’t your high ticket. Your Back-End should be a million dollar a year program, and you only deliver 40-60 hours of work for that pay each month. When most smart business owners hear this, they go “Oh wow! You know it becomes easy to leverage an idea like that.” But again, you have to least value yourself at $2500 / hour if you’re an expert, right? Take this a step further; if you’re an affiliate and you’ve even made a few dollars online. As an affiliate, you have affiliate marketing knowledge that I would say 80% of the affiliate newbies would like to know. There’s so few that stay past that 6 month mark or even the 3 month mark. Help them get past that month or 3 months. You have some expertise that all of these newbies would love to ascertain. Now let me tell you, they will pay 7, 12, 15, [17] bucks just to be able to get that knowledge and create the shortcut [for themselves]. SHORT ANSWER Front-End: Free – $497 Continuity: $7-$197 Middle: $997-$4997 Back-End: $11,997-$1,000,000 Success Hacking – What Is It? There’s so much that you can Success Hack, like Tony Robbins says, “If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.” That’s it! That’s Success Hacking. For us, it is understanding The Value Ladder. There isn’t just the Front-End, there’s a Back-End, there’s a Middle and there’s a continuity. There’s even upsells. Everything that you do, is to push a buyer to your Back-End. Why? Well, your Back-End is probably going to make you about 60% of your profits. It’s simple math. It’s really easy to do high ticket sales and make a large profit [with low overhead]. I think there’s about 45% that end up [going into] the delivery process, from: the Open Office Hours, to the videos, 1 on 1, paying for plane tickets, paying my sales people, commissions, all that sort of stuff. Then I get to keep 55% of those as profits. That being said, all my promotions lose me money on my Front-End. You’re going to be losing money on your Front-End. Deal with it. That’s what an amateur focuses on! You need to focus on the Middle, the Continuity the Back-End! Let’s go back to the chiropractor’s Value Ladder. What do you think it’s [consisting of]? Just adjustments and… you’re coming back for more adjustments? I used to have scoliosis; very terrible thing. It’s basically a curvature of the spine usually around what’s known as L3-2 & 1. And it’s because of how I sit, I’m a desk jockey. My Chiropractic Parable So it was a terrible thing to go through. I went through about 22 chiropractors [trying to solve this], and it was my wife’s suggestion to try this one using a special therapy. [It’s] called The Activator Method. After, I think 3 months of adjustments, I was good as new. No more scoliosis, nice straight spine, everything’s been good since! [It was like a miracle.] “But outside of adjustments, [what else do you offer]” I asked my chiropractor. “I love what you do. You know, you made me a fanatic for life. You got me every 2 weeks, that’s fine. But isn’t there more? I want to give you money. I want you to make me better because I imagine that if you made this better what else do you have inside your head that could just improve my life?!?!” [Lone behold, he didn’t have a Value Ladder!] So what we ended up writing down was a plan. We understand that adjustments aren’t sexy. Besides, he was great at his career and had a full schedule already. No more hours in a day. So we created a Front-End, called M.A.T (Muscle Activation Therapy) and it was the same thing he used to fix my scoliosis, The Activator tool. SIDE NOTE Heck, I even have the tool [The Activator]. I know The Activator Method [and studied it]. I love it so much! I’m not a licensed chiropractor, but I got a certified, going through the schooling and courses. So this technique that was added, didn’t take any extra time. It was an adjustment almost beside the ones he already did. So it was an upgrade basically. With that, he was able to double the money made, without doubling the time he spent making it! You can do the same for a typical chiropractor, just add a masseuse who can tell when ribs orthe spine is out of place. They ask if they’d like to have an adjustment to keep the relaxed muscles longer, and a portion of them will say, “YES”! The Big Bang for a Chiropractor “Hey, if you want to make this adjustment even better, you can attend my Wellness Clinic. It’s a one week event. We’re going to come out here and learn XYZ. It’s five thousand dollars.” I said “yes” instantly. So did over a dozen other people from his clients. He instantly made $80,000+ in a single week. More than he ever thought was possible in that short of a time! The Wrap Up So again, there’s a Value Ladder for almost everything. There’s a Value Ladder for authors, do a quiz asking them what types of books they enjoy, then send them to a Free + Shipping book offer with an upsell for the Audiobook version for $37. Then a One Time Offer of the entire series for a discounted price. There’s a million different things that you can sell. You can even do coaching programs that teach someone how to do what you do. One cool thing about my sales funnels. When you do a Free + Shipping, people will give you their email first to get the book. Then a 2nd step will show up, asking for their credit card information in order to ship the book off. From there, people often leave. But guess what? Since they filled in that email address first, and clicked the “NEXT” button, their email can be used to market to them about finishing their order. I show you how to do this and more, including the segmentations that understand if they haven’t fully checked out. The system I use is called ClickFunnels. Sign up through that link to get my sales funnels I use currently. You can go to get a 14 Day FREE Trial and use a lot of the same templates I use. Bye, bye."

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