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atruththatyoudeny · 4 years

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Monthly Reads | September 2020

Happy 28th! All the love for all the authors in this fandom. Thank you for making my days better with your work! ♥ Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: 🍂 Remember Me Fondly | kiddle | enemies to friends to lovers - 1990s - historical - angst - humor - closets - 74k “You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.” Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.” “How about the tour of ninety-five?” “Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?” Penny cleared her throat. “How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history. Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story. Truth may vary.

🍂 you came into my life | disgruntledkittenface | Queer Eye AU - american AU - closeted character - Coming Out - pining - fluff - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - 57k They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?” Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no. “Not here,” Liam says finally. When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

🍂 Everything I need I get from you | jaerie | a/b/o - mpreg - strangers to lovers - emotional/ psychological abuse - sexism - unplanned pregnancy - 10k In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

🍂 at last, at last | suspendrs | post-apocalypse - dystopia - cult - mentions of violence - mentions of death - homophobia - internalized homophobia - 41k “Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.” Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway? Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

🍂 give me love | falsegoodnight and soldouthaz | a/b/o - past relationship trauma - past abusive relationship - slow burn - touch deprivation - touch starvation - nesting - angst - fluff - 41k Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas. - Or, Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

🍂 You, Who Never Arrived | abrighteryellow | Only You AU - strangers to lovers - 90s AU - world travel - soulmates - fluff - angst - Fate & Destiny - 42k “That was him, Niall.” He claps a hand over a disbelieving laugh. “My soulmate – the person I’ve been waiting for since I was nine years old. That was him on the other end of the phone.” “But it can’t–” Niall stutters, unsure of what to do, how to put a stop to this. “That wasn’t real.” “Wasn’t it?” Louis rushes past him, zipping up his fly. He grabs a black denim jacket from a hook near the door. “Then who did I just talk to?” “Where are you going?” Niall demands as Louis pockets his keys and swings his front door open. “I just have to get a look at him. I just have to see, that’s all!” “You’re not serious. Louis, it’s already late.” “He’s at the airport. Fifteen years I’ve been expecting him around every corner, and now he’s half an hour away. I can’t just sit here.” “Bu–” “I’m not going to do anything crazy, I promise. I just–I have to see him. This is my chance. Maybe my only chance.” Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

🍂 Shall we sleep, my love? | givelourrylove | angst - emotional hurt/comfort - kid fic - 15k There is so much sincerity in Harry’s voice. So much that says you, Louis, I look forward to seeing you, you and your soft eyes and your petite body, just you, you, you, but Louis forces himself to ignore that. To gulp it down again, sizing up the lump that had formed beneath his lungs, possibly reappearing any time and choking him with everything he decided not to think about for the past year. or Louis loses his job as a teacher, has to move out and find somewhere to live. A certain someone named Harry offers his home to Louis and his son. Pining, crying and reading bedtime stories involved.

🍂 so much I could live for I could die | louisnights | dystopia - trans character - sexual harrassment - friends to lovers - strangers to friends to lovers - no smut - 15k “Sometimes I wonder what’s out there,” Louis confesses, tucking into his second biscuit. “I wonder if what they’re saying is true, about the Thieves, about the other compounds. Why are we not allowed to leave? Go to other compounds?” Lottie gets up, letting out a sigh as she squeezes his shoulder. “You shouldn’t think like that, Lou, it will get you killed.” “They can’t take away my thoughts,” Louis answers defiantly. Lottie pats his shoulder before she disappears to her room, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. or: Louis is a transgender man who escapes his compound after extenuating circumstances, and meets the Thieves, who show him what freedom really is.

🍂 A Road To Hope | he_wants_to_write | historical - World War II - 1940s - farm/ranch - PTSD - emotional hurt - hurt/comfort - angst - mental instability - internalized homophobia - 18k “We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.” It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch. or In the heat of April, 1944, an escapee soldier lost in a dirt-road stumbles upon a small farm and finds himself recovering from the traumas of World War II in the simplicity of a frugal life, with the help of a little boy's innocent soul, and a farmer's hopeful green eyes.

🍂 With Love's Light Wings | 4ureyesonly28 and reminiscingintherain | Rome and Juliet AU - a/b/o - 1920s - marriage proposals - 12k Two households, both alike in dignity, / In fair London town, where we lay our scene... — Or something like that, anyway. On either side of the River Thames live Louis Montague and Harry Capulet, their noble packs entangled in a feud so old, nobody even remembers what caused it. As fate will have it, against all odds, they fall in love. Harder than the bricks that make up their families’ estates and faster than a Duesenberg car. AKA The 1920s ABO Romeo & Juliet AU that we desperately wanted to write.

🍂 The Very First Words of a Lifelong Love Letter | LiveLaughLoveLarry | first meetings - friends to lovers - weddings - no smut - 9.5k The prompt I picked was (lightly edited): "Harry and Louis have been best friends ever since they met through fandom (I picked Critical Role) twitter. Person A (I picked Louis) lives in New York City and Person B (Harry) lives in the UK. They’ve never met in person but they FaceTime and text daily. Person B’s cousin is getting married to a rich American who’s paying for the entire family to travel to The Hamptons for a summer wedding. Are Harry and Louis ready to meet?" ~*~ Harry thought he was just imagining things when the flower girl looked like one of the twins, but -- he’s almost certain that groomsman is Louis. The pictures he's seen haven't been the best quality, granted, but he knows Louis. He does. Harry stares wide-eyed as he walks down the aisle in step with the bridesmaid, taking their places on either side of the stage. As they turn to look out into the audience, Harry’s strong suspicion solidifies into certainty. That’s Louis. He’d bet his life on it. But Louis doesn’t look at him, and it’s not like Harry can wave. He can only stare, mouth still hanging half-open. Suddenly, as much as he loves weddings, he can’t wait for this one to be over.

🍂 promise you'll remember (when the sky is grey) | Anonymous | american AU - summer - 33k "Once you come to this town, you find that it's not so easy to leave," Niall spoke with a fond tone in his voice. "Canyon isn't a place that one leaves behind easily." "I guess we'll be able to test your theory come August," Harry spoke with a small grin, "because I'm set to leave on the twenty-ninth to get back to work in LA." Niall smirked back in reply, "I guess we will, but mark my words, you'll end up finding something to make you stay. We all did." Harry laughed, surprised at the man’s unwavering confidence in his statement. "We'll see." - a summer spent in small town Maine, filled with trips to the farmer’s market, lemonade tailgating, taylor swift, and falling in love at quite possibly the most inconvenient time ever (not necessarily in that order).

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly reads #monthly fic rec #my reads #my fic rec #completed fics #larry fics

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alexsfictionaddiction · 4 years

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Alex Recommends: May and June Books

I must apologise for the late arrival of this post. It should have been up days ago but I’ve been struggling to read much for the last month or so. My head has been very foggy and dark with all of the confusion, anxiety and hate that has been filling my news feeds and I’ve been filled with a desire to combat it. Before this month, I’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation but recent events have given me the kick up the butt to actively do better. I’ve been calling out bigotry when I come across it and I’ve noticed that some people, notably my older relatives, haven’t necessarily reacted favorably to the changed, more outspoken Alex. It has been pretty daunting and I’ve worked myself up into fits of rage and tears several times over the last couple of months.

A lot of things have changed for me since my last Alex Recommends post. I’m currently temporarily living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend because my depression got too bad for me to stay at home for much longer. I missed him unbelievably much and I knew that spending some prolonged time with him would help -and it has. Both him and I have spent 12 weeks religiously following all of the rules, so we’re both extremely low-risk for catching and spreading COVID-19 and being together was something that we simply really needed to do. Please don’t hate me for it! In other news, I have also started writing again, which feels amazing. I’m now a few thousand words into a queer Rapunzel retelling that I have lots of ideas for. Maybe I’ll even post an extract or two, when I feel it’s ready to show you.

In the centre of the renewed energy of Black Lives Matter and the undeniable exposure of the horrors that is police brutality, the book blogging and BookTube worlds vowed to uplift Black voices. I wrote a very long, in-depth blog post full of Black-written books and Black book influencers. Please check it out to diversify your TBR and educate yourself on Black issues, which is what every white person should be doing now and always.

June was Pride Month and I tried my best to compile a series of recommendation posts in honour of it. These included gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, ace, pansexual and intersex lists. I’ve had some great feedback on this, so I hope you find some fantastic new reads. It felt especially poignant to put them together the same year that one of my childhood heroes came out as an ignorant trans-exclusive feminist. As a lifelong Harry Potter superfan and someone who has repeatedly publicly supported Rowling in the past, I feel the need to clarify where I now stand. I do not support or agree with a single thing that she has said in recent times with regard to transgender people. I’ve never felt my own status as a cisgender female threatened by trans people wanting more rights or believed that children or women were at risk due to their existence.

I read her words more than once and struggled to find any semblance of the woman who wrote the books that have most defined my life. I’m hesitant to say that we can always successfully separate the art from the artist but I will say that it makes sense to me that the Rowling of 2020 is not the same Rowling that wrote Harry Potter. She was a destitute single mother when Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and of course, she is now a million worlds away from that lifestyle. It breaks my heart but it makes sense to me that she has changed beyond belief because her life has changed beyond belief. I’m not and never would make any excuses for her recent behaviour and I have stopped supporting her personally but I will not be getting rid of my Harry Potter books and I will undoubtedly re-read them several more times. However, I am now hugely reluctant to buy any more merchandise or special editions of the books, which saddens me but at the moment, it feels right. There is no coming back for her from this and I will make a conscious effort to keep Harry Potter and Rowling away from my future content. It can be really tough to admit that the people you once really admired aren’t great humans but it’s something that we all have to acknowledge in this case, in order to move forward with our own quests to become our best selves.

It didn’t feel right to post my May recommendations last month as I didn’t feel comfortable promoting my own content in the midst of boosting Black voices. So today I’m bringing you a bumper edition of Alex Recommends. Here are 10 books that I’ve enjoyed since the start of May that I’d love to share with you. Enjoy! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Set in the affluent neighbourhood of Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s, two families are brought together and pulled apart by the most intense, devastating circumstances. Dealing with issues of race, class, coming-of-age, motherhood and the dangers of perfection, Little Fires Everywhere is highly addictive and effecting. With characters who are so heartbreakingly real and a story that weaves its way to your very core, I couldn’t put it down and I’m still thinking about it over a month after finishing it.

FICTION: Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

When coding nerd Chloe Brown almost dies, she makes a list of goals and vows to finally Get A Life. So she enlists tattooed redhead handyman and biker Red to teach her how. Cute, funny and ultimately life-affirming, this enemies-to-lovers rom-com was exactly the brand of light relief that I needed this month. The follow-up Take A Hint, Dani Brown focuses on a fake-dating situation with Chloe’s over-achieving academic sister and I can’t wait to get my hands on that.

FICTION: The Rearranged Life of Oona Lockhart by Margarita Montimore

Just before her 19th birthday at midnight on New Year’s Eve 1983, Oona Lockhart finds herself inexplicably in 2015 inside her 51-year-old body. She soon learns that every year on New Year’s Day, she will now find herself inside a random year of her life and she has no control over it. Seeing her through relationships, friendships and extreme wealth, this strange novel has echoes of Back To The Future and 13 Going On 30 with a final revelation that I certainly never saw coming.

NON-FICTION: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold

Atmospheric and engaging, The Five details the previously untold stories of Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Kate and Mary-Jane -the women who lost their lives at the hands of Jack the Ripper. Full of fascinating research and heartbreaking accounts of what these women’s lives may have been like, Rubenhold paints a dark immersive portrait of Victorian London and gives voice to these tragic silenced lives. Although we can’t know for certain if these accounts are entirely accurate, they feel very plausible and in some ways, The Five exposes how little time has moved on, when it comes to the public portrayal of single, troubled women.

NON-FICTION: Unicorn by Amrou Al-Kadhi

From a childhood crush on Macaulay Culkin to how a teenage obsession with marine biology helped them realise their non-binary identity, Unicorn tells the story of how the obsessive perfectionist son of a strict Muslim Iraqi family became the gorgeous drag queen Glamrou. Packed full of humour, honesty and heart, this book will give you the strength and inspiration to harness what you were born with and be who you were always meant to be.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Super Miraculous Journey of Freddie Yates by Jenny Pearson

When fact-obsessed Freddie’s grandmother dies, he discovers that the father he has never met may actually be alive and living in Wales. So he has no choice but to grab his best friends Ben and Charlie, leave his home in Andover and go to find his dad! I laughed so many times during this madcap adventure and I know the slapstick crazy humour will hit the middle-grade target audience just right. It’s also a wonderful depiction of small town Britain with a focus on the true meaning of family.

MIDDLE-GRADE: A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll

When Addie learns about her hometown’s history of witch trials, she campaigns tirelessly to get a memorial for the women who lost their lives through it. This wonderfully beautiful novel gives a unique insight into the mind of an 11-year-old autistic girl with a huge heart. Busting myths about neurodiversity while tackling typical pre-teen drama, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry but most of all, you’ll close the book with a huge smile on your face.

HISTORICAL FICTION: Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

In 16th century Warwickshire, Agnes is a woman with a unique gift whose relationship with a young Latin tutor produces three children and a legacy that lasts for centuries. This enchanting, all-consuming account of the tragic story of Shakespeare’s lost son, the effects that rippled through the family and the play that was born from their pain will send a bullet straight through your heart. Wonderfully researched and beautifully written, Hamnet is worth all of the hype.

HISTORICAL FICTION: The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

When a vicious storm kills most of the men of Vardø, Norway, it’s up to the women to keep things going but a man with a murderous past is about to come down with an iron fist. At the heart of this dark tale of witch trials, grief and feminism, two women find something they’ve each been searching for within each other. Gorgeously written with a fantastically slow-burning queer romance, Kiran Millwood Hargrave’s first adult novel is an addictive, atmospheric read with a poignant, tearjerker of an ending.

SCI-FI: Q by Christina Dalcher

When one of Elena’s daughters manages to drop below the country’s desired Q number, she is sent away to one of the new state schools and Elena is about to find out something she’d really rather not know about the new system. Packed full of real social commentary and critique of life as we know it while painting a picture of how things could be even worse (yes, really!), this pulse-racing, horrifying sci-fi dystopian gripped me from the first page and refused to let me go.

#book recommendations #recommended #recommendations #may #june #books #bookworm

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welcometophu · 6 years

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Not Your Love Song: Chapter 12

Marked Book 2: Not Your Love Song

Chapter 12

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There’s a light dusting of snow on the ground, a few flakes still falling as Rory and Kit walk back to campus. Kit pauses, almost turning, before they reach the end of the block.

“I’m not going to be insulted if you go back for Serina,” Rory says. He digs a hat out of his pocket, crams it down on his head to keep the wind from his ears. He forgot gloves, so he shoves his hands in his pockets and does his best not to shiver.

“She’s closing tonight, so there’s no point. Especially since it’s getting busy.” Kit tries to match pace with Rory, taking an extra half shuffle every few steps. He’s at least half a foot shorter than Rory, which isn’t small, but it means Rory needs to shorten his stride to let Kit keep up easily.

It takes a little experimentation, but they find a pace that lets them fall into step.

There’s something comforting about the measured crunch of their footsteps like a cadence on the sidewalk. Rory taps his fingers against his thigh, testing it for rhythm.

“Are you going to ask her out again?” It’s awkward for Rory to ask about Kit’s relationship, but at the same time, switching topics abruptly would be even more awkward. When Rory’s phone buzzes, he takes it out and fishes it from his pocket, opening the text.

I had a good time yesterday.

Rory smiles slightly. In a strange way, talking to Darrik is easy. He’s not sure if he expects it to go anywhere: Darrik’s mourning, and Rory still has his unresolved soulmark issue. And that’s not even touching the difference in their ages, although Rory does have an understanding of life in the real world, unlike most college freshman. But he likes Darrik. He’s quiet. Knowledgeable. Enjoys talking about history, and the historical interactions between Mage and Clan. And Rory’s definitely interested in hearing more about where Darrik grew up, where the two interacted regularly.

He slows his steps, types as he walks. So did I. Unfortunately the weekend is over.

A small pause before the phone vibrates in his hand. We could do it again soon?

Yeah. Maybe that.

“You didn’t hear a thing I said,” Kit says quietly, a low laugh in his voice.

Rory types back yeah and leaves it at that, shoving his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry.”

“Whoever it was made you smile.” Kit shrugs one shoulder, gestures at the phone. “I’m not going to interrupt that.” He pauses before admitting, “And you didn’t miss anything. I didn’t say anything. You were obviously occupied.”

It catches Rory by surprise, and he laughs, his skin warming. “It was just Darrik. We went out last night.”

“He’s the guy you were thinking of developing a ritual for.” Kit tilts his head thoughtfully, pushes forward with one shoulder as if to say let’s walk a little faster, and Rory can’t disagree because it’s cold out.

A stray snowflake lands on his nose, a chill point that drips slowly after it melts. Rory rubs it away. “He is. I talked to him a little bit about it over dinner. He says as long as it doesn’t put Lora in danger, he’s in. Which means I should probably work on getting a group together.” He glances at Kit, but Kit’s looking straight ahead, as if he’s trying not to watch Rory at all. “Pawel mentioned I should probably talk to Dax.”

“Is Dax good at traditional ritual?” Kit asks. “Pawel thought your brother would be a good partner for me because he’s got one of the most traditional backgrounds, and a good handle on his natural abilities as well.”

Rory isn’t sure how much he can or should say about Dax. “Are you trying to get out of working with Thorne and take over my ritual for Darrik as your independent study project?”

Kit flushes. “Depends. Are you doing this because it’s about the ritual or because you’re trying to get in bed with Darrik?”

“I am not trying to get in bed with Darrik.” Rory shudders, shakes his head. “I’m not trying to get in bed with anyone. I like Darrik, though. I think the closure of doing this ritual would be good for him. But I also want my roommate to be safe. Alaric’s a good friend—pretty much family by now—and I don’t like the idea that there’s a thing out there that might still be hunting him.” It occurs to him that he hasn’t gone into detail about the whole situation yet, although Kit at least heard what Pawel had to say at Coven. Rory could explain. Maybe should explain.

“Relationships are complicated,” Kit muses quietly. He tilts his head back, sticks his tongue out to catch a snowflake.

“Serina?” Because now Rory wonders if Kit does want to talk about it after all. Especially if it keeps them from talking about Rory’s potential maybe possible relationship efforts with Darrik.

“Serina,” Kit agrees, the flush still staining his cheeks. “And you and Darrik.”

“I know why me and Darrik is complicated and there are a lot of reasons for that,” Rory says. “But you and Serina? She’s a cute girl and seems interested. You’re a cute guy and you seem interested in her. From an outside perspective, you seem like a love song waiting to happen.”

“You’d think so.” Kit hunches his shoulders, seems to curl in on himself. “I haven’t dated much. For reasons.” One shoulder rises, falls. “And every time I start thinking about dating someone, I have to ask myself: when do you have the serious conversations? Is it a first date thing? Is it a third date thing? Is it the kind of thing that waits three months and then she gets pissed off at me for not being up front about it?”

“I don’t think Serina’s the kind of person who’s going to not date a guy because he’s bi,” Rory says, because it seems obvious that Kit’s gun shy, and had people break up with him over his sexuality before.

Kit stops walking, turns to face Rory. He takes a step back so he doesn’t have to tilt his head as far to meet his eyes. “I don’t need to tell her I’m bi,” he says flatly. “I’m trans.”

Not what Rory was expecting when this conversation started, but okay.

He pauses as well, not looking away. Nods once, slowly. “I’m ace and gay, so I get complicated,” Rory says quietly, and Kit’s posture eases. “Some things are awkward, because you figure everyone’s expecting the typical status quo.”

“Straight, all guys have dicks, and looking to get into bed?” Kit quips, and Rory laughs dryly.

“At least you didn’t say all guys are dicks.” Rory takes a step sideways, rocks on his foot until he’s sure Kit’s going to join him. They walk more slowly now despite the cold, approaching the outer gate leading into campus. “I don’t think there’s an easy answer to that one,” he admits. “I mean, I like Serina. She’s on my floor, but she’s not one of the ones who keeps wandering into my room randomly, like Nik. So I can’t say we’re really close, and I don’t know exactly how she feels. She doesn’t seem to mind queer people, and she didn’t freak out when she realized that Nate wasn’t ever going to be interested.”

“But being trans isn’t like being gay,” Kit says quietly.

“Yeah.” Rory looks up at the sky, the snowflakes falling faster now, swirling through the darkness like a hyper speed special effect in a movie. “Maybe just play it by ear? Go out again. You need to trust her, right?” As he says it, Rory isn’t sure why Kit trusted him with it. “I don’t think she’d do anything bad, but she might feel hurt that you didn’t say something. But I think she’d at least get why you waited.” He glances down at Kit. “Serina’s good people. When are you going to go out again?”

“Guess I need to ask her that.” Kit pulls his phone out, looks at the screen like it’s going to give him answers. “I don’t think I’ve really got time this week. I need to finish that assignment with Thorne, and then there’s Coven on Tuesday, and we meet with Pawel for independent study on Wednesday and Thursday, and by that point, it’s just about back to the weekend. Carolyn’s sorority is sponsoring the Saturday movie. Maybe I’ll see if Serina wants to see that, if I don’t get roped into helping with it.” He hesitates, brow furrowing, mouth slightly open before it closes again.

“What?” Rory recognizes that look. When he sees it on Thorne it rarely bodes well for him.

“When are you seeing Darrik again?” Kit’s gaze narrows. “And is it personal or about the ritual thing?”

Rory licks his lips, huffs out a breath. “Both, I think, at this point. But he doesn’t know I’m ace. There really wasn’t a time to bring it up when he was telling me about his dead boyfriend.”

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Kit asks. His voice is low again, a soft note in it. Concerned.

“Do any of us?” Rory counters. Love is complicated. Relationships are complicated. He touches the out-of-focus mark on his wrist, because that’s just another complication on top of everything else. “We just go forward until we hit a wall, right? Or maybe we get lucky and it’s the right person at the right time doing the right thing. There are a ton of variables that make the difference between an epic love story and an epic fail.”

“We could double.”

Rory somehow expected a different reaction to his words, something more in-depth. Something more profound. “We could what? Double date? You and Serina with me and Darrik?”

Kit nods, adding a shallow, hesitant shrug. “It adds a buffer. A way to just hang out and not worry about adding in coming out stories. Right?”

That… makes a kind of sense. But at the same time, it adds yet another layer of complication over something that Rory isn’t even sure is a thing at all.

And still, he finds himself agreeing. “Okay, sure. Saturday. For the movie. If Darrik’s willing to subject himself to an on-campus movie when he escaped college campuses a couple years ago after grad school,” Rory agrees. “I’ll ask him.”

A half-smile from Kit. “Sounds good.” He’s quiet for a few steps, staring into the distance, before he asks, “Is Thorne always like that? I didn’t interact much with him our freshman year. He’s—”

“Hyper-sexual? Not as much as he says he is,” Rory says. “But yeah, he got all the sexuality in our family, and I got none of it. Mac’s right, though. If you make it plain that you want him to stop, he’ll stop, no questions asked. He might still flirt, but he won’t touch if you don’t want to, and he won’t be serious about the flirting. Just tell him what level of interaction you’re comfortable with, and he’ll adjust. Consent’s a big thing.”

“Okay.” Kit falls silent again as they pass through the gate. Rory isn’t sure where Kit lives, or even if he lives on campus, but Kit turns in the same direction when Rory does, heading toward Davison.

“Is there something else?” Rory asks. “Seriously, did Thorne make a move and I need to talk to him? Because I will. I love my brother, but sometimes—”

“He didn’t,” Kit says quickly. “I was just thinking that I think it’ll be good to work with him. It’ll put me outside of my comfort zone, which is what I wanted to do. It’ll make me interact with other people I normally wouldn’t, I’m sure, which is also good. I have a tough time reaching out.”

“Because—”

“Because I don’t want to have to explain, but at the same time, it’s hard being honest with people when you’re keeping a secret.” Kit’s voice twists, frustrated and tight. “Not that it’s actually a secret. It’s just me. But other people see it like a secret, and I’m tired of hearing that. That they think I’m tricking them. I’m not. I just want to be taken at face value and be allowed to be myself.”

“Then just be you.” Rory knows it’s not that simple, but he also knows it’s the best advice he can give. “I know that Thorne really doesn’t give a shit. Use him as a practice case for just being you and being exactly who you are, and don’t—don’t come out. Just be you.” He’s usually got better words than this, but he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and this is new territory. “Are you introverted naturally?”

Kit snorts. “Yeah. Can’t you tell?”

“It has to be hard, because again, layers of complexity.” Rory touches his own chest. “I’m in a band full of extroverts, and I’m the only introvert. They keep me in touch with other people. It helps. So… use Thorne and me for a while.”

“Having a buffer seems to be the theme of this conversation.”

“We’re not an English paper in need of a thesis statement, but yes.” Rory smiles slightly, licks his lips. Reaching out has never been his strong suit, either, but Kit’s wariness makes him want to help in some small way. “I don’t want to use Darrik for your project,” he says. “This is personal, for him and for me, and for my friends. But if you want to help, I am okay with that.” It’s a small olive branch.

Kit presses his lips together, reaches up to push his hair out of his face. “I’ll work with Thorne for a grade, and I’ll work with you to help Darrik. That’s good.” The road splits, heading toward Townhouse Row in one direction. Kit wavers, leans in the other direction. “We’ll talk again on Tuesday?” he suggests.

“What’s your number?” Rory could get it from Thorne, but this is easier. He has his phone in his hands, sends a text as Kit lists off numbers. Kit’s phone buzzes faintly from his pocket, and Rory gestures with his own. “You’ve got mine now. I don’t remember if Pawel and I told you everything about what happened with Darrik and his friends, but I can send some things to you that you should look at. You really need to know what you’re getting into; you might change your mind.”

“I’m going to push myself this semester,” Kit says firmly. “So no, I won’t change my mind. Whatever you need, you’ve got my help. We’ll talk Tuesday.” He turns away, raising one hand to wave as he goes.

Rory’s fingers itch, and he’s not sure if he’s feeling a ritual or the words to a song. Either way, he needs to get back to the dorm and write it down. Maybe play a little, let it all spill out.

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