#but recently i've been sick like

[maskednerd]

#apparently i have a type of favorite character #which i've realized as i slowly become obsessed with Felix Kranken and Henry Emily again recently #anywho- October will be a fun month for Belos memes and the likes i reckon #alas... ive been sick so thats why i died for the past week #felix kranken #gruncle stan #philip wittebane #henry emily

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[lunarharp]

lil extras for the free day

#witch hat tag #orufrey #orufreyweek2023 #gotta put these silly things here now 🤦‍♂️ cause the remaining prompt to catch up is not a happy one so it should go somewhere else.. #didnt end up doing anything that pushed my limits after all..but that's ok. since i've felt pretty depressed lately this week was my treat #i def feel like i get less likes & RTs overall on twt recently even tho my followers increase. are ppl sick of my stuff ?? :') #but i myself feel pretty ok about my art atm...so i guess it's fine. my fics have never gotten the hits/kudos i've ever hoped for #so i've accepted that this is how it is for me. i see LOTS of ppl stress about that kinda stuff and i don't wanna be like that.. #i'll just keep on keeping on. creating has been pretty satisfying lately when im NOT depressed abt other stuff #and i do get fulfilling comments <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

........creachure

#cats #his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way... #it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy #his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat) #I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol #the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally #I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh #currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from #sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous #and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that #I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky #because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr #ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your #guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature #be upon ye.. #Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely. #but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start #On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed #.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes. #sculptures. edit videos. etc. ). #anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world

[imwritesometimes]

in one week it will officially be one year since I finished a fic edited it & posted it hahaha 😵‍💫😖😞😑

#and like. it kills me that. I had this whole fckn idea for a 5+1 recently for one of my north star ships #and I got the notes all done and had the ideas and even dialogue snippets and could see the scenes #but I just. could never make myself get farther than the notes. ever. I couldn't ever get to actually writing it. at all. ever. #and now I've been sick & bedridden for a literal week and I still haven't done ANYTHING with it #before I would have worked on it! I would have worked non stop! I literally cannot be out of bed for longer than 15 minutes #I would have written another 10 chapter idiots to lovers with a whole intricate plot to weave a romance around #that no one asked for #but now #nothing. #to be fair to myself tho I have been so sick I couldn't even activate my new giga pet #I had to quit playing sims cause I got so sick I couldn't go to my desk. the show I was looking forward to debuted and I can't watch it #cause I'm just fuckin dead. wanted to get the new t0mb raider re-release but I'm so sick I couldn't play it #but it's killing me that I can't make myself write. it is like. why won't you do this? you LIKE this? this was once ur fave hobby! #and I'm just also very tired of being confined to bed for a week and I'm going a little nutty can you tell??? #erin explains it all

[lisxdumbr]

The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah

#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now) #anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back #and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck #she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me #BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad #i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa #anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since #the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too? #in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem #they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt #recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times #and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so #what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything. #anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was- #”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people” #and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group- #-and they never informed me so. thank you? #and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw #and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation. #she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason #ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care- #-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends #so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much #rant #vent #? #woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all #I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.

#i'm so fucking sick #wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well #this is now at least my 2nd infection though #and you can tell too #wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function #this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days #and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be) #and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness #i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning #anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold #and unfortunately #I'm taking it harder this time than the last #wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue #she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms #we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied #pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao #anyway #my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire #but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake #and this is literally all my personal hell #as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently

[2hoothoots]

heyy so since this apparently needs to be said: the Aquato family aren't white. if you're going to draw Raz (or any of the others) with more human skin tones, that's cool, go for it, but i'd just be mindful of how pale you're making them

#this is not @ anyone it's just something i've been noticing a couple times recently #there's a billion qualifiers i could add but look i'm sick this is just an off-the-cuff post #i dont wanna start drama just. like. just be cool about it. just like keep it in mind #will delete this if people start getting spicy in the notes so please don't. i cant deal with that right now

[emile-hides]

Tired of the cute facade, gonna start drawing myself uglier

#Emile's Arts #I say drawing a down right adorable little guy #But the buck teeth and the pimples.... it's giving cringe anime teen in a Western cartoon #Which is. What I am. #I'm FINALLY done being sick btw it's been an ACTUAL MONTH #I HAVE A COMMISSION TO DO AND THEN IT'S BACK TO ART FOR FUNSIES #FINALLY #I cannot overstate how busy I've been this is the most busy I've been in actual literal years #And oooooooooh did it drain me sense I went in with a cold #And then CAME OUT WITH A COLD #BUT I'M FUNCTIONAL ENOUGH TO HOLD A PEN AGAIN #but only for like.. a month..... because I may be getting surgery next month... or March... or December.... #Who knows my doctor STILL hasn't gotten back to me on a date #Anyway #As much as I love the vampire fangs it's time to face the truth #As sharp as my teeth are they are horribly overshadowed by my Horse Teeth #And I must face this fact and move on with it #I've also gotten a recent appreciation for the cute factor of dot eyes in big glasses #I'm bad at quick handing Big Glasses but hey #We'll figure it out #This is just a concept of the Sona redesign anyway who knows if I'll stick to it #We'll figure it out when my birthday rolls around and it's time to change the Icons again

[loveofastarvingdog]

someone just gave me a comment on the peach fic that made me fall in love with writing again. oh god. oh god the love. the creation.

#timothy's txts. #comments that make a writer suffering through the agoniues and the horrors say oh. i can be brave again. i can be brave. #comments that cradle you up like you're a little baby bird in a big and scary world and say hush now darling. i've got you #i'm not kidding i was talking with my therapist last session about how. horrible. how sick and despondent and *panicked* trying to create #has felt recently. how badly i want to create has been eating at me like a festering WOUND. i'm not kidding. #and this comment is so earnest and HEARTENING. i actually almost started crying reading it. oh thank god for this #thank god for art. thank god for artists.

[bunnihearted]

📖🖊❄️

#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind #1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like #2) ​i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read #but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really #3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me. #everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored #and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing) #i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money #then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/ #ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is #im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything #4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it #everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :(( #i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it #5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them #except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/ #but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again. #i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333

[starpros-sunshine]

I Need to get out of the habit of mindless scrolling I literally can feel myself zone out while doing that ATP I'm *this* close to just deleting any amd all social media platforms and returning to the times of radio and, well. YouTube should stay I need to watch my two hour long video essay /somewhere/....and Tumblr I can't abandon Tumblr..... there's people here that I can't just abandon.....

#i don't even mind being on tumblr i just don't enjoy the automatic ''okay time to phase out'' response that elicits from my brain after... #idk. a while. #sick of phone i am sick of the phone #last night i was so done i just said myself down and read four chapters of a book in one sitting #i wanna get back to reading i miss reading I've been too tired to do it recently #but you know what if i can spend an hour online i can spend an hour on book too that's time better spent #i just want to finish this thing then I'll feel like some milestone has been hit #even though finishing a book in a week is no big deal it's my average for a book of thaz length #it's about the getting it done though #i still haven't finished crime and punishment because i hit a dead end and was too tired and then i didn't start another book for the next #six months #and you know what screw that actually i just want to read again and if it's a book i know I'll grt through better than that then so be it #book is book and when I'm done with that one I'll finish up on the other ones then I'll be back in my Flowwww or whatever #i just want to read again is all

[higherhell]

Man how long was I out. I haven't posted since like April? Time Blindness without limits. Living deliriously.

#personal pulse #well. so so sorry my friends. it's been one thing after another/the damn things overlap/etc #I would like to get back in my groove though. hopefully soon. my ears finally popped like an hour ago so I think I'm on the mend #as far as the recent sickness goes. #genuinely haven't been sick this way in YEARS. like I've caught a cold once or twice maybe but of the barely noticeable sort #must say I did NOT miss coughing like this. ough. I digress

[brigdh]

Reminder! It is never okay to call anyone racial slurs because you disagree over fandom meta!!

It is also not okay to reblog such harassment while laughing about it! 

Please take a step back and remember that there are real people behind the computer screens. We know very little of one another’s real lives here in fandom, and it’s easy to feel like you hate someone because of their posts and so therefore you can treat them like trash. But it is a person reading your words. It is other people who see them. You are not advancing any cause by bringing slurs and harassment into a fandom discussion. You are not making the world a better place. You are not helping anyone gain more righteous ideas or be smarter or get a better perspective. 

For all the disagreements about character interpretations and fic and art, for all the people who have one another blocked, for all we don’t have to see eye to eye, this behavior should absolutely be beyond the pale.

#I've been sick and am like two days behind on tumblr so apologies if I've missed more recent developments #but I am so angry about this #our flag means death

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

wrote 2270 words of my Johnny Knoxville fic tonight, we are sooooo fucking back

#sorry to anyone waiting for the next part i've been very very sick recently #but like i said #we are backkkkk #johnny knoxville #jackass fic #ao3 writer

[redladydeath]

not me giving myself heart palpitations reading radiostatic/silence fanfiction...

#my body's been doing some weird shit recently #i'm on my period i'm sick and i've had elevated anxiety for the past two weeks #i'm so proud of myself for not immediately spiraling into panic attacks whenever my chest twitches nowadays #although... really wish it wasn't happening over something so silly #i'd like to be able to enjoy some good fan content without being taken out of the moment by my own body #redlady speaks