#but my fingers dont wanna do the thing

[skunkes]

sure sure

(i gave it another shot)

#i ruined it almost instantly when i first started working on it in march...at least i finally saw it through i guess #my issue with relief on soft blocks like this is i dont have super sharp carving tools #or carving tools that get small enough #so carving always just turns to cutting pieces out with a craft knife #(as in the case of the very small details like the shoes and toes and fingers) #but then i just wanna do that for the whole thing bc its easier to get those fine lines out #a doodley #<- i guess #oh also the song is friends - sure sure ^_^ #can’t believe...i was a believer...no i will not count on youuu anymore

[luca---paguro]

suuuuper experimental luca piece because i wanna get good at backgrounds

#luca paguro #alberto scorfano #luca pixar #pixar luca #luca 2021 #pixar luca 2021 #luca pixar 2021 #SOOO HI GUYS!!!!! A FEW THINGS #I'm probably not gonna do art at ALL next month becuase of artfight! if yall want that i can send it here (but alas i have none luca oc's s #nothing there will be in theme s m h #BUT ALSO ALSO YALL ARE SO COOL!!! and if you ever wanna dm dont worry im so down!! #uh uh and last! this is...a tad silly but... #does anybody have good luca fics... (pretend im doing the finger pointing at eachother emoji yknow the one) #last time i looked (which tbf was a bit ago) and none of it was very good BUT BUT i may not have looked very hard #BUT STILL #REGARDLESS I HOPE YALL HAVE A GOOD DAY!!! SORRY FOR TALKING SOOOOO MUCH!! #my art #myart

[thesoupisburning]

bored at work lead to me trying to figure out how to draw the menace

#wheatley #wheatley portal #wheatley portal 2 #hey look guys finger reveal #no he isnt an oc but im trying to work myself up to posting actual drawings of the ocs #and the Ball is a good start #yes this is what my hand drawn style looks like. no i dont wanna change it i think the sketchies are cool #now all i need to do is learn anatomy - nobody can stop me then! #[doesnt have the focus to actually do such a thing] #portal 2 #post-it note art #spheres............................ #burntsoupart

[scopophobia-polaris]

Arn seeing Timie on the street: aw what acute lil guy sure hope he isn't tormented!

Bro absolutely messed up, wanted to be a good boy and help someone because this mirrors shit that happened to him but instead found out that Timie is filled with 10thousand problems and somehow knows Arn to a weird degree withought ever really talking to him and he cant...figure out why..... can you really meet someone in a dream?

And now poor Arnold got a little guy that wants to cling onto him when they're sad

#Arn is gonna be a cuddle buddy if he keeps up with being nice to Timie by accident #Timie is like a hissing kitten in my opion all ready to rip your fingers off until you pet them once and now theyre your best friend please #hold me NYYYYAAAAAAAAAA NYAAAAA #i just think its gonna be funny writing Arn slowly pieceing shit together over time until its jusg oh mf youre the hero of time arent you #no WONDER youre so messed up #but for right now hes just super confused about what just happened he just hugged Timie becaue it seemed like the right thing to do #and now youre bound to this dude by invoking destiny maybe we were supposed to meet again insane ass you just became #inexplicably tied to this dude and you will die all through one thing thats manifested itself as a red string of fate around both of you #congrats arn your kindness has just doomed you down the path that all dudes in Hyrule take when they get to close to the hero #(REDACTED) oh right wait thats massive plot shit thats something i dont wanna reveal #ITS NOT DEATH IT REALLY ISNT I AINT GONNA KILL HIM like forreal i killed arn once never again but its gonna be so silly goofy what his ass #just got tied up in all from just trying to help #maybe you shouldnt of been their canon event in the adult timeline being the one person they couldnt save but fucked up

[neotaissong]

Via @fanoniscanon @our.moral.imperative

#accusing internet weasels ignorant strays and twitter fingers of anti blackness is one thing.... #but bisan and motaz?!?!? #some of the ig personalities in the diaspora #yes #I’ve seen it for sure and saw it evolve once SA entered the chat with the ICJ... #but to accuse those being eradicated those who we’ve parasocial'd and celebrated and channeled our own fear powerlessness and #inaction thru #that’s a madness #fanoniscanon spits 💯 real talk its difficult to hear but TRUE as my grandmoma says the truth hurts #and that’s not to take away from the anti blackness that I’ve witnessed amongst others - viewing the real time genocide #but genocide is genocide and right is right and that is at the forefront of everything for me and we should be doing more #I was saying this morning I wanna come off apps and take a break due to anti blackness i was witnessing and this post brought me back #i hate the internet but i realised it was bringing back stuff from my first girlfriend first love #she was lebanese jordanian and there was much #antiblackness hovering on the edges of my experience not from her or her fam but the wider community an it still irks me just as it hurts t #think on the hate she got from my community...so yeah #its triggering but love is love is love and i thank god for meeting her #and her educating me on palestine and speaking the fire of first love and seeds of what resistance can be #but going back to this post #fanon is right we are children of the empire and i dont believe motaz or bisan are antiblack #and i do believe we have used them in the same way we use each other on these apps and i know its wrong and i know i have to do better #spreading awareness #protesting etc -- i do not require perfect victims and i also believe oppressed people have the right to resistance #i pray for the liberation of palestine everyday and i pray for those doing everything in their power to attain that liberation #cos theyre not gonna get it thru us attached to our phones but us working together #collectively #us calling out the ops and racists zionists and sexists and actually putting in work that can change something and us also pouring into #our own communities like i really need to doubledown on reading about sudan and congo and use my skillset to educate and liberate #thats something i need to do as i finish my projects #but yeah long story short - we need to check ourselves and our privilege and our parasocial vibes and check anti blackness but not

[ditttiii]

it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.

#as someone who's default has been for the longest time to love love love not being able to give it all the time actually makes me feel #like i am missing a part of me #its the weirdest most incredibly frustrating feeling to feel just slightly off kilter every single minute of the day and knowing u have #no choice but to ignore the oddness bcoz if u poke it its gonna all come crashing down #i hate having loved someone to the point where it was more than how much i loved myself coz now i m left #picking up the pieces they chose to leave behind and not knowing how to piece it all together #and it hurtshurtshurtshurts and never lessens and i can kiss someone else and still feel like a corpse inside #bcoz theres pieces missing that i gave away and that feeling of being incomplete just wont go away #trusting someone to love me forever might have been the stupidest thing i will ever do #and on bad days i think i deserved being left for the sheer stupidity of my life choices #istfg i m never loving again until a man puts a damn ring on my finger #so unbelievably fucking done with this shit #i wanna hate him but i cant and i wanna stop loving but i wont and i wanna feel full again but i dont #tw breakup #tw heartbreak

[orcelito]

Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!

Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...

I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?

So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol

#speculation nation #ive been wanting to go back into reading the manga again #ive only slowly (VERY slowly) been puttering along with where i am in my fic #for research purposes with the fic. #i do want to go back through the manga bc i STILL havent done a full reread of it #ive just reread so many different parts of it for assorted research that im probably getting to some 10 or so reads total lmao #i wanna reread it in full tho front to back to sort out any stray details and remember any timeline things i might have slightly skewed. #the problem with reading the manga though. is that every fucking time i look at it. i am consumed by a drive to research EVERY little thing #so me reading turns into 'hm thats interesting. that reminds me of this thing that i know happens in volume 8. let me just check that now--' #and i end up so dreadfully distracted every damn time. bc i end up with all my wires crossed and my attention pointing a million ways #it's exhausting. and so i havent been reading the manga outside of random research dives. #im very good at that. i know every volume of the manga and can find Anything within 1 or 2 mins (at the Most) #which is also kind of the problem lol. fingers in too many pies. so many things to think about. #if i get back into Actually rereading the manga tho you can bet ur ASS ill find more things to make posts about #every time i open up the manga i find new things that i could analyze. #i just havent. bc i dont have time. but. ykno what. maybe i Could get back into it... #remind me later. this is one of my favorite fucking fights with my favorite Fucking panels #and i realized smth about the shit Vash is doing that was making me lose my MINDDDD #later tho. ive been sleep deprived today. and it is time for me to rest. #& yea yea ITNL is still the main focus. but idk i have such a mind for details and i remember So many things about the manga #i wanna show that off to people again. and thus. Analyses!!! :D #later. goodnight for now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok. this is the fucking bullshit thing abt grad school. u go to fucking grad school bc u r a fucking tryhard nerd freak #who is either naturally very smart or ur so fucking anxious u r incapable of allowing urself to get a bad grad #and then u go to fucking grad school and everyone's like: man fuck ur classes. if youre getting streight As then u aren't focusing on ur #research. and theyre right. but u still cant fucking let go of the idea that if u get a bad grad the world is gonna fucking end and u r a #bad person. u didnt try hard enough. all this to say i have a final project that i put way too much energy into and not even in a good way #i would just open the document. start sobbing. and then close it and spiral abt how i didn't want to work on it. so its bullshit #i mean. its a good project idea ans i probably sound like i kno wtf im talking abt bc i do. i worked on that topic for 4 years but like #i could make it wayyyyy better. its bullshit. i didnt even number the citations to give more page space. i made section headers. i didnt #wrap text. i could add like 4 more lines of text if i wanted but i think im not gotta bc fuck it. ugh. i dont even. i fucking avoide #stochastic stuff altogether which i kno im gonna have to fight abt but like fuck it who cares abt randomness. i just wanna focus on the #predictably aspect of community composition. fuck u. i shouldnt have picked this topic. i mean. i had to bc its like the one microbe thing #i could do but its also like the exact topic that makes me wanna rip my hair out and start screaming. like jesus christ who tf cares? ugh. #i think id give myself a B if it was an undergrad class. but the standard is higher in an all grad class. ugh. i hate this. i should just #send it abd be done. i dont even kno when its due tomorrow. before class i guess. idk i felt like garbage today. fucking vertigo bby. i feel #ok now tho. so maybe the allergic reacting is over???? fingers r still arthritisy tho. jesus. im falling apart #ive got a pretty good sounding excuse for being lazy tho: owo i had an allergic reaction to my antidepressants 🥳 but nah no excuses we run #this body into the ground. like the good old days. #unrelated

[sims2wildrotations]

Also, guys, i'm currently doing the Curious rotiation and i need some help from ya'll. do any of you have good ideas for alien traits and powers the curious alien kids could have? inspired by the sims 2 psp's secrets for johnny and jill where they have lil alien quirks and stuff.

#sims 2 #sims 2 strangetown #curious family #nova curious #tycho curious #pascal curious #so far i've got sharp teeth and six fingered #but the six fingered is kind of just a human genetic chance that isnt necessarily because of the alien thing #i want something outright alien #like you see it happen and you go Humans Cant Do That #bc humans can have six fingers but they cant have like 4 tongues yknow #i think #ok i looked it up only two-tougned births have been recorded #and there were only like 34 cases since the 1800s #so theres almost definitely not been a four tounged human #not that an alien character cant share traits with human people but i dont wanna pull the 'look at this strange alien trait but its actuall #just a thing humans can and are born with' card #anyway its 3am im in my rambling era

[agayconcept]

.

#oh for fucks sake #if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g #she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up #which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares) #so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc #and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.' #she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things' #bitch WHAT THINGS ????? #exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ???? #do u Hear urself ?? #now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up) #and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour #'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!' #ma'am... #a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest #b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt #c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit. #whaT ????? #god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit #not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her) #jesus fUcking chrisT #i gotta get out of here #this woman is so immensely hateful #ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times) #fuuuuuck me. #anyway. #negative #ableism #verbal abuse #ask to tag

[enden-k]

smth you prob didnt notice about childe: bow twirl after 4th attack <3

another tiny reminder: him smiling when he fights

#i talked about his battle animations and his incredible skills with shaping hydro kind of in depth a year ago and i dont wanna #gush all about it again akjcbk if youre interested in my ramblings i can see if i can find all my hcs and theories and kinda analysis stuff #but ya was cooping with friend and caught myself swooning over him once again as usual so #a cute little thing here heh #i like to hc that childe twirls his pens and stuff when hes doing office work #being restless or bored or just keeping himself busy while doing paper work he dislikes #simply based on his battle animations when he keeps twirling his blades and polearm and bow and stuff #really nimble fingers #<3 #my beloved dumpster ginger aaah sobs #own

[bluewinnerangel]

Favorite works of 2022

To celebrate the end the year I wanted to show one of the things I'm proud to have done this year which is drawing and photography, exploring creating art, and something I'm very excited about to further improve next year. And as you can see from the subject of my favourite captures or at least the ones I want to share on this blog, Louis is a massive inspiration to me, and I'm so thankful for his art and his being inspiring my and other peoples art. It's pretty hard to pick, but I think these are my favs:

Photos

posts: x, x, x, x

Saw Louis for the first time this year, and 4 times in total. Decided if I'm gonna see him I'm gonna do whatever I got within my budget and ability to capture him, which resulted in some great pics, but this also inspired me to take this camera to concerts of other artists and making other fans (and some cases even the artist) happy with them, plus a new lvl of appreciation for concert photographers like that shits hard. &lt;3

Drawings

posts: x, x

Tried to do all kinda stuff this year but these are in the same category, they're both quite tiny drawings, simple, pencil only, were never meant to be detailed difficult creations or whatever just me scratching on paper because Louis has a face and I need to cope with that somehow and yet every time I look at them I'm just proud? I love looking at them? The left one even started this domino effect into me getting back into drawing again this year... participated in inktober, and started drawing digitally crappily on my phone? but now I got a drawing pad for christmas and im getting the hang of it?! and its going well?! I'm excited to see where it will take me.

Here's to creating in 2023!

If anyone feels inspired to join me in sharing your favorite creations of the year, consider this a tag game and yourself tagged ;)

#im just happy and i think i should say it. #i was thinking to do a drawing to end the year but i got stuck drawing even more friends and i dont wanna share drawings of them on here #so instead #and i always have a tendency to downplay all this? like even now you see it in the text and i have an urge to apologise for calling #the pics art like. but on the other i fking LOVE that these things exist now and my eyes and fingers and brain had something to do with it #so. this is part of the process of owning it i guess

[arolesbianism]

Hello oni lore fans, I have been fighting for my life to solve a lil mystery and I decided to finally clean up one of the logs I copy and pasted from the code so I can hopefully find someone else who's seen it in game before. It's called "a seed is planted" and I'm pretty sure it was in the research notes section, but in the code it's placed alongside the story trait logs so I'm not 100% confident where it's supposed to be found. I first saw it in a save that I was using sandbox mode to hunt for lore with, and it stuck around for a lil while before disappearing, and then it randomly came back for a lil bit before all my lore logs got wiped with the recent update. I have no idea how I got it in the first place nor what made it disappear and come back, so I'm basically just wondering if anyone else has had this issue with this particular log (or any logs for that matter)

I have copy and pasted the log under the cut, although the formatting might be a bit off as this was cleaned up from a copy paste directly from the code itself

"A Seed is Planted"

[Voice Recognition Initialized]

[Subject Identified: B040]

[LOG BEGINS]

Three days ago, we completed our first non-fatal Duplicant trial of Nikola's comprehensive synapse microanalysis and mirroring process. Five hours from now, Subject #901 will make history as our first human test subject.

Even at the Vertex Institute, which is twice Gravitas's size, I could've spent half my career waiting for approval to advance to human trials for such an invasive process! But Director Stern is too invested in this work to let it stagnate.

My darling Bruce always said that when you're on the right path, the universe conspires to help you. He'd be so proud of the work we do here.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

My bio-printed multi-cerebral storage chambers (or "mega minds" as I've been calling them) are working! Just in time to save my job.

The Director's been getting increasingly impatient about our struggle to maintain the integrity of our growing datasets during extraction and processing. The other day, she held my report over a Bunsen burner until the flames reached her fingertips.

I can only imagine how much stress she's under.

The whole world is counting on us.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

On a hunch, I added dream content analysis to the data and...wow. Oneirology may be scientifically "fluffy", but integrating subconscious narratives has produced a new type of brainmap - one with more latent potential for complex processing.

If these results are replicable, we might be on the verge of unlocking the secret to creating synthetic life forms with the capacity to evolve beyond blindly following commands.

Nikola says that's irrelevant for our purposes. Surely Director Stern would disagree.

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

Nikola gave me a dataset to plug into the mega minds. He wouldn't say where it came from, but even if he had...nothing could have prepared me for what it contained.

When he saw my face, he muttered something about how people should call me "Tremors," not "Nails" and sent me on my lunch break.

All I could think about was those poor souls.

Did they have souls?

...do we?

[LOG ENDS]

[LOG BEGINS]

It's done. My adjustments to the memory transfer protocol are hardcoded into the machine.

I finished just as Nikola stormed in.

I may be too much of a coward to stand up for those unfortunate creatures, but with these new parameters in place...someday, they might be able to stand up for themselves.

[LOG ENDS]

------------------

#rat rambles #oxygen not included #even if you don't have it go give it a read its one of my favorite logs in the game #it has so much juicy information even if it's all mostly brushed over due to the nature of the log #anyways I need to go to bed but crossing my fingers that somehow someone who has the log sees this #Ive tried asking abt this log in other places but have gotten nothing </3 #I know its real and in the game I just dont know if the log is fucked or if its a classic case of my laptop fucking everything up #oh and to be clear abt the code viewing thing it was purely viewing I couldnt have edited it if I wanted to #well I could have but Id have to use a different piece of software to do it #I was just using smth to decompile the code so I could actually read it #thank you oni modders I shall reffer back to yalls guides in the future to learn to edit critters #I wanna fuck around with what different critters can eat it sounds fun #who knows maybe I could take a crack at making an actual proper oni mod some day

[hajihiko]

Big fan of your work, and I’m sorry if this comes off as rude but I just wanna info dump or else I’ll go crazy

I still respect your interpretation of fuyupeko but I think it’s debatable those two are as dependent on each other as ppl say

There’s major themes of Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away

1. In the splash art of them growing up, Fuyuhiko is never looking at Peko)

2. In Fuyuhiko’s Island Mode ending, Fuyuhiko explicitly say he needs to stop running away from Peko

3. In Danganronpa S, Fuyuhiko’s first instinct is to brush off Peko but he corrects himself saying he still needs her. In the Peko and Sayaka convo, Sayaka expresses she needs to be independent to not bother her friend, but Peko says her friend is probably happy to be relied on

4. The fact in SDR2, Peko lies about almost everything about herself (she saids she has parents in freetime, she calls Fuyuhiko her childhood friend and negates that in the trial), and the only time she was truly truthful she states that all she wants to be is remembered by Fuyuhiko

5. In Fuyuhiko’s talk with Akane, he states he never told Peko he was grateful for her. And in Peko’s freetime, Peko states as a child, Fuyuhiko would cry and call her scary

I do think Fuyuhiko and Peko’s relationship is strained from Peko being taught she was only a tool but I think it’s also comes from the fact Fuyuhiko never communicates with Peko that he actually likes her as a person. It still hurts me that when they were on a dangerous island where anyone could murder, Fuyuhiko told Peko explicitly not to talk to him, the one person she could trust on the island. Like who can blame Peko for thinking Fuyuhiko resented her.

Anyways, sorry if none of this made sense. I hope you’re not mad.

NO AUGH WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED DONT READ YET IM NOT DONE closenur eyes

ok done now

Nah not mad! I just think maybe I have a very different way of interpreting info, which is fine (we all do tbh), but I appreciate a respectful differing view.

Anyway, disclaimer, my memory is brittle and I havent consumed all DR content so some stuff is not available to me.

I'm gonna do this in numbers too just bc its easier

I dont really put a lot of stock into the art anyway? I dont know which one this refers to

same as in 3. with trying to distance himself from being too reliant on the family, possibly also being distant by trying to adhere to their roles, more on that later

I remember some of Fuyuhiko's deal being that he doesn't want to rely on the power of his family of everything, and that extends to Peko with her being his protector. I think the fact that he thinks e needs her, but doesn't want to, actually just plays right into my view of them (this one, Fuyuhiko not wanting their relationship to e what it is but admitting that he doesnt know anything else and would be pretty adrift without it).

I didn't know that! That's interesting. My memory might be wrong, but wasn't some of that because Fuyhiko instructed her to keep their affiliation a secret? And since the clan is all she knows, she had to make stuff up?

I could believe that Fuyuhiko never actually thanked Peko for her services, their whole job status being messy as it is. I dont know about that second thing, but I remember something about Fuyuhiko crying because he could sense that Peko was worried / she was trying to reassure him but without smiling or anything, something about them being kidnapped. Still doesnt really negate my view on them, just once again that they wanna be there for each other but somehow just can't.

Ok so, re: that little comic, I guess I should say: I dont think they were that sweet with one another all the time, and in fact kind of want to imply that while they *were* friends as kids, as volatile as kid friendships can be, from that point onwards they did start to grow into their roles and their own seperate ways (for worse). Fuyuhiko being an overly aggressive and angry dickhead a lot of the time, trying to fit into what he thinks he needs to be, and Peko being the 'tool' that she tries to pass as in the trial, actually kind of thinking she knows what's best for Fuyuhiko instead of talking to him one on one as a friend. When I say they were reliant on each other, I dont mean they were emotionally close, I just mean they literally define themselves a bit by the other (the game does this also), because they're not sure what to be otherwise, the other being the only peer they know closely. Like Fuyuhiko says (cries) in the trial, he needs Peko, and Peko is so consumed by her role that she did the whole murder thing.

Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away and Peko refusing to back away makes sense to me in the lens that Fuyuhiko wants Peko to be more than his walking talking sword, and Peko takes her duty seriously/is unwilling to lose the one person she has a connection with. Fuyuhiko is taking dumb clumsy baby steps at not needing Peko there all the time, even though he kind of does, and Peko doesnt see what's wrong with their relationship as is (and therefore thinks she can base a murder unit because she doesnt see how it wouldnt make sense that she doesnt count as a person). Fuyuhiko also absolutely dogshit at communicating and could have avoided a lot of this with some anger management and more thoughtful speaking, but i think part of the tragedy is that neither of them knew any better because what they were doing was all they'd ever been expected to do.

I always understood the whole "dont interact w me" thing to be a, a) a way for both of them to be normal classmates, which would be good for them, and later b) scheme to protect the both of them and give them advantage in the game. I cant say I ever saw it as pure callousness on Fuyuhiko's part- rough and clumsy attempt at being helpful, maybe- and I definitely can't agree with that read. I think maybe Peko could have seen it that way, in being that she wants to be relied on and be useful and that being rejected means she's being rejected, but Fuyuhiko states that people tend to be wary and suspicious of him (for good reason) so however harsh, I think it was always gonna end in Peko's favour, in or outside of game. Whether that was explicitly planned, I dont know- probably not- but I dont think it was just him being a dick.

Anyway! I don't know if this reply makes sense, but I'm not like disagreeing just to disagree! I replied this in-depth bc I was interested in answering lol. This is just what I mean by fundamentally different reads. This is how *I* understood the events based on my own brain translating it, doesnt mean yours is any more right or wrong, just different people processing things differently.

#Talky talky #Fuyuhiko #Peko #Why my clumsy fingers. Ok u may read #Cannot overstate the fact that I understand things as they make sense to me and as I think makes sense in the narrative #I'm not right! There is no right there is nuance in everything and you may well think I'm nuts for my interpretation #But this is what I see n how I feel #And there ain't nothing wrong with interpreting things differently. What makes sense to u does so for a reason and that says something abt- #-what u like and want or how u think and that's good! #Me: I want people to engage me genuinely and honestly! #People: do #Me: oh god oh fuck oh god oh man uh uh uh #I keep writing a good night tag but I'm never done #I am v much guilty of putting a positive or hopeful light on everything I'm super guilty as charged #You can read a lot of these characters in a much darker or less flattering light and you wouldnt be wrong but I LIKE making the best of em #And that's just me yknow. I'm biased as fuck bc I like it and it makes sense to me and if that's wrong i dont wanna be right or whatever

[liquidstar]

maaannnn The Fatigue has been so bad lately i just want this day to be over so i can sleep. theres literally not anything else i could do... but i have to wait...

#i hate it so much im too tired all the time. i do not know what it feels like to not be tired. i dont remember the last time i wasnt tired. #i dont think i was ever not tired genuinely. even as a little kid i remember being tired to my core #the kind of tiredness you feel tingling in your bones dragging on you everywhere you go and in everything you do. its always with me #i wanna clarify that this is a symptom of the type of thalasemia i have and not exactly chronic fatigue syndrome though. but comparable. #i just wanna say that so ppl dont get the wrong idea. but yeah. #i havent really gotten a proper break in weeks and like. i NEED those breaks i feel like my body genuinely cant keep going like this #so i just need to be officially off the clock so i can go sleep and hopefully i can get some legit rest in the coming days #idk fingers crossed bc i fear ill collapse otherwise LOL! (not funny) #and all things considered i have a pretty cushy gig rn! esp considering i dont pay rent and stuff since im like a live-in sitter #but i dont think i was built to be able to hold down any type of proper job. and this wont last forever. i dont know what ill do from here #im too eepy

[elvenking42]

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#when i was in high school i played a party game with some of my classmates at a get-together where you had to rank people on questions #yearbook style awards really. whos the most handsome. who's the most annoying etc etc #i flew under everyone's radar except for the question who do you think will die a widow #i dont know. i think about that alot. because i was still so unsure of myself and my relationship to gender and sexuality #it sort of felt like everyone in the room pointed a finger at me and labled me UNLOVABLE #and sure. the events of a house party in 2017 shouldn't still effect my day to day life but its sort of hard to ignore that feeling #it wasn't an especially kind thing to leave me with when i graduated and went off to college #i never tried dating in college. i think that unlovable label sort of hung over my head for my entire formal education #i had friends who did date during college. with varying degrees of success. and im really happy for them #but i couldn't bring myself to try and put myself out there. i didnt feel like i was a suitable enough person to even attempt it #idk. then covid hit and i jjst dont enjoy meeting new people #and now im 24. my little sister has more dating experience under her belt and I'm really starting to love up to that dying as a widow omen #whatever. i dont wanna be annoying and sad on everyones feeds I know thats bad manners #but i dont talk about it and ive been thinking about it alot #ill delete this later or something. if i remember to #personal