#but my brain is starting to turn to mush

[rileyclaw]

participated in a DTIYS on twitter!! this was super fun to make!

#devsDTIYS #huntlow #toh winter #the owl house #toh #my art #willow park #hunter wittebane #hunter toh #these two live in my head they gotta start paying me rent soon my brain is turning to mush #i beat artblock with this they have saved the day #fanart

[nozunhinged]

The way welcome to samdal-ri portrays how you can meet your person, your soulmate, your perfect partner but the circumstances make it impossible to be with them.

Its always about falling in love and finding ways to be together, to resolve conflicts and come out of them stronger.

But what about if you are the best team together already. What if you already bring out the best in each other, you're partners in crime, best friends and lovers, the blueprint, the soulmates, when it's you and them against the world but the world fucking wins.

When loving them and wanting the best for them means loving them alone, not together. When saving yourself is more important than the love you have for them.

When love does not conquer it all.

It's the family grudge between Yong pil and samdal.

Jin Dals In-laws.

Hae Dals husbands illness.

Yong pils dad losing his wife to the sea.

None of this has to do with how much they love each other. And that's the most painful shit one can go through. Because you take it to the fucking grave with you.

This show....UGH

#AND THIS IS WHY I NEED A HAPPY END REALITY IS ALREADY FUCKED UP ENOUGH OKAY #again starting with the way but my brain is being turned into mush by all these stories #welcome to samdal ri #welcome to samdalri

[shih-coulda-had-it]

your defense attorneys

#bnha #shimura nana #gran torino #torino sorahiko #shih's art #i started off SO strong with nana's face and then my brain took a left turn #hence why sorahiko has his domino on #surprise surprise if you abstain from drawing digitally too long your brain goes to mush #anyways thank you anachronism fic for inspiring this

[atopvisenyashill]

What if Laena Velaryon survived?

I'm addicted to bullet pointing my answers so let's goooo-

There's a few spots that Laena living really impacts the plot and the Dance overall:

Laenor potentially lives - if Qarl was in fact paid to kill Laenor by one of the blacks, the reasoning for this no longer makes sense because daemon and rhaenyra can't marry if laena is still alive. if qarl was genuinely just pissed laenor may have been cheating on him, or it was someone else that paid qarl, well, he's fucked i guess. but odds seem better!

Vhagar is still on tb's side - not only does she have the biggest and oldest dragon not chomping on her kids, but by the time Viserys dies, Rhaenyra has all but one (1) of the mature dragons on her side. that's HUGE. even otto, imo, is not stupid enough to decide to up against caraxes, meleys, syrax, vhagar, AND potentially even seasmoke, not to mention arrax and vermax. against what? ONLY sunfyre and dreamfyre? are they sending helaena out into the riverlands??

Aemond is defanged - outside of otto himself, aemond is the most war mongering, bloodthirsty on that side. it's not just killing luke, it's the mini genocide in the riverlands, it's taking out caraxes & meleys, it's his fascination with some superman v batman bullshit he wants to have with daemon, on and on. If Vhagar can't be claimed by him, he is only as capable as the army he is leading, and there's no dragons to worry about roaming Westeros except Tessarion, and Daeron can't really cover the Riverlands when he's so occupied in the Reach. Even if the war gets set off at the exact same time, getting rid of Vhagar/Aemond eliminates an entire front of the war.

Butterfly Effecting Away Aegon and Vis the Youngers - Daemon can't set Laena aside (they have clearly consummated), and they risk a complete rebellion by the faith if they do some bigamy stuff, and even if Daemon is stupid enough to pull that, Corlys and Rhaenys will kick his fucking ASS if he is married to Rhaenyra and Laena at the same time. Never mind someone paying Qarl to kill Laenor, Rhaenys won't even bother lighting Daemon on fire, she's just going to throttle him with her bare hands. This means that either Rhaenyra remarries who she wants as a political match (not a bad decision to make) or she simply remains unmarried (also, imo, not a bad decision to make since she's doubling down on the Velaryon boys being legitimate). In which case - if she has Daemon's kids, they will be publicly acclaimed as bastards OR they will be Laenor's legally, the same as Jace, Luke, and Joff.

There are some things I think might still happen - I think there's a chance Aemond makes a play for Vermithor if he can't have Vhagar, maybe Silverwing, but that's so much riskier because he'd have to travel alone as a child/teenager to Dragonstone, which is the seat of a political enemy, find where Vermithor has made his nest, get there safely, and then claim him without losing a limb. There's a lot of ifs there, vs Vhagar who was already hanging out nearby because of the funeral and very recently losing Laena. Laenor living is best case scenario for Rhaenyra because she keeps that cover for her sons - it's really hard to Vaemond, Alicent, or Otto to press on the Velaryon boys being illegitimate if Laenor is standing right there swearing they are his and fighting for their rights! But even if Laenor dies, Laena is not just going away - she's Rhaenys' last living child, she's Rhaenyra's girlfriend dear friend, she's the rider of Vhagar. Daemon cannot - and would not, in my opinion - just cast her aside the way he tries with Rhea Royce (and notable that his attempt to cast Rhea aside failed). Rhaenyra being single or politically married off would help her a lot just from a propaganda standpoint but she likely has more allies/has alienated less allies by the time Viserys dies.

Now, I think it's likely there's still a small war - Otto is in the capital and Rhaenyra is on dragonstone, so Otto will still attempt to take the capital but once she retakes it? With a war that is much less bloody, with her oldest sons likely still alive, without the loss of baby Visenya, she's not only mentally in a much better place, but politically as well. Hell, if she stays unmarried until she takes the throne, then dangles being Prince Consort in front of some lord's face, promising him that their children will marry Jace and Baela's child to sit the Iron Throne? Does Rhaenys even lose at Rook's Rest if she's only going up against Sunfyre, or going up against Sunfyre and Vermithor? I think in that case, Rhaenys & Meleys' experience and maturity trumps Aegon and Aemond's anger.

Anyways, I think Rhaenyra is just objectively better off with Laena around. Laena has a bit of reputation in fandom of being kind of useless narratively but the truth is, she has to die in order for Rhaenyra to lose so soundly. Laena is integral to Rhaenyra keeping her shit together because they are so close and because of Vhagar. If Rhaenyra keeps Laena as an ally, the war looks much different. Probably there's still a war, but I think it stays "a war of words and wings" for longer, and remains more or less bloodless. More similar to the third blackfyre rebellion, where the fighting isn't particularly bad and mostly localized, than the mess it winds up being.

#personally i think they should off daemon and then both remarry politically important matches but idt rhaenyra or laena would do that #laena velaryon #canon divergence au #the dance of the dragons #laenyra #sorry this took so long. we started on summer reading and i designed the whole log and it turned my brain to mush #you can only stare at cartoons of children for so long without losing your mind #asks #anons #this is an interesting au to think about i might revist it anon!!! if u have more questions about it feel free to ask!!! i love laena!!!!!!

[sugar-spice-and-everything-dice]

I'm really struggling to follow along with FH:JY for some reason, so I'm rewatching everything in the hopes that something starts to click in my brain and. I'm not insane because Cassandra and Kalina literally did NOT make it clear that Kristen should have been at the mall with them and I can't decide if it was a genuine misunderstanding between Brennan and Ally or if it's somehow plot relevant.

#i feel like i'm being gaslit #(< this is a joke) #idk why this season isn't sticking for me #usually by this point i can start making connections #but it all feels so disjointed? #dimension 20 #d20: fantasy high #i had trouble following neverafter too #i had to rewatch it like. three times #maybe my brain is just turning into mush

[angeltism]

me accidentally making myself paranoid in the stupidest way possible

#➳ the fool speaks #watching a video of someone rating and talking about a book from a genre that was literally created to be gorey and gross #[ insert all of the cws listed at the start of the video ] that sign won't stop me because i won't feel paranoid in the slightest until the #exact second i close this video after the 44 minutes of it #they didn't get too into detail but guh . plus it's late and that tends to turn my brain into mush when it comes to #''this is a Fictional Fiction Not-Reality Book featuring events that have Never Happened and people that have Never Existed'' #world's silliest girl when it comes to avoiding shit that triggers xer.. what. paranoia doesn't feel like quite the right term #whatever it is

[softasawhisper]

.

#started making something and realized i drew the wrong hair style lol i wasted my time because my brain has turned to mush #no more photoshop for me for now

[floral-hex]

I just want to get blasted, either out of my mind or into the sun, I’m not picky

#not me looking into the shitty guidelines for getting approved for medical marijuana in arkansas #yeeeaaaah looks like the process is ridiculously convoluted and pricey so nah #but missouri is just a few hours away so who knows #I hate weed for real. I mean it’s cool but I’ve had some bad experiences #but my anxiety is getting pretty rough and it would just be nice if I could turn my brains to mush every once in awhile #whenever my hearing gets bad I start freaking out and panicking and feeling sick. it suuuuuuucks. #anyway I have about 10 ‘emergency’ klonopin left which I don’t like taking bc I’m a hoarder and hate wasting stuff #like in video games when you stockpile potions but never use them #plus that shit can be addictive and I’m not a fan of that idea #tbh tho I diiiid take one earlier and I’ve been feeling preeeetty mellow #I ate two bowls of ice cream and I’m feeling good #I thought I had a drs appt coming soon to talk about anxiety meds but turns out it’s actually next month 🙄 so gonna reschedule that #anyway this was supposed to be a post about wanting to get blazed but I kinda whined all over these tags #whoops #uhhh…. how are you doing? #have you drank enough water today? for real #god I love ice water with a little lemon juice. I drink so much of that a day. it’s the best. #this isn’t important #if you read all of this then I love you #or at least like you. a little. a little bit. you’re good. I appreciate you. #ok I’m gonna go make coffee now #you can ignore this #text

[ignific]

I'm so normal about jujutsu kaisen I swear I am not crumpling the characters up like wet napkins and eating them bc I love them so much and no I will not explain why my cheeks are stuffed full like a chipmunks mind your business

#jjk #i can't form a normal sentence about this entire series #my brain turns into such MUSH everytime i think abt it #ig speaks #i have no one to talk to abt this so i just feel like i'm boiling inside #steam's gonna start blowing out my ears at any second #hyperfixation overload

[tiny-chubby-bird]

scrambled thoughts that are probably 90% inaccurate because i’m bad at remembering warframe plot/facts:

ballas saying he has always been alone because his vision was incomprehensible to "people", becoming incredibly jealous when margulis spends all her time helping the zariman children and showing motherly love towards them, him devoting several of his warframes to memories of her and then his big tantrum where all his bottled up anger and bitterness gets directed towards natah who was “supposed” to be the new margulis,,,

honestly the man just makes me sad at this point. he's always been alone, so even though he's lived several lifetimes it sounds like he's never been loved by anyone (or at least he never felt loved because he didn't feel understood by anyone), and probably never truly loved anyone himself. and but then he met margulis and he loved her, but he became super clingy because she's the first person he's felt this way about and the first person to love him/understand him i guess.

and while he wasn’t happy with her work with the tenno and didn’t like these void devils he still supported her, in his own,,, ballas way. also apparently giving the children nightmares so that he’d still be needed by margulis somehow. but they took margulis’ sight away (by accident of course), which was forgiven by her but not by him, and i guess it was another factor for his bitterness because she never forgave him for what he did (understandably of course). from the voice lines between her and ballas in the apostasy prologue, it kinda gave me the sense that they probably had a big disagreement the day before she got executed, her asking him to help her and “get her out of here”, and him saying he can’t, “can’t or won’t?” and then later her saying he’s no different than the rest of them, him asking her for forgiveness but never getting it, with margulis’ last words dedicated towards her “sons and daughters”, and then she got executed, and while he regretted abandoning and sacrificing her for his “faith”, he mostly blamed the tenno, because if it hadn’t been for them, she would still be alive.

so then he contacted hunhow later on and tried to get him to kill the tenno by revealing their location on lua, telling him that they’re the ones controlling the warframes that are currently winning the war against sentients for the orokin. I guess that didn’t work out too well and i still don’t rlly understand all the details because,,, well, DE isn’t very good at making the plot and timeline clear and comprehensible. i don’t know how the whole natah becoming lotus thing happened but pretty sure ballas was the main reason for that, trying to make himself a new margulis to feel better, a margulis he could control so she wouldn’t leave him again and would love him, but,,, i guess that didn’t work out so well either, because she chose the tenno over him once again (at least i think she chose them, i don’t think ballas would want her to do that).

and i still don’t know how much of ballas dying and then becoming a sentient-hybrid was part of his big plan, or if that wasn’t planned at all, but i do feel like either way, it did take part of his humanity away. i feel like it did fuck up his psyche even more, either the dying part or the “not being human anymore” part (though orokin have died several times, they kinda see death as a joke because they’ve found a way to come back. i mean their halloween is all about celebrating their immortality by dressing up as the dead to mock death).

idk where i was going with this, my brain is rotting and i have a lot of feelings.

#warframe spoilers #warframe ballas #his clinginess is unhealthy but so was the entire orokin empire and i doubt any of them ever went to therapy #i doubt it even exists in that world but who knows #also can u imagine an orokin admitting they're anything less than perfect unthinkable #im so confused at the timeline and plot #like pls DE pls make it clear #this is all recycled info for when i was attempting to do plot/timeline research for a fic with ballas in it #so take most of this with a grain of salt because my brain is mush #also BIG DISCLAIMER this isn't supposed to be exusing any of ballas' actions!! #im not defending him or anything #look i started off hating his guts and gagging when he was on screen but somehow it all turned into whatever the hell this is #and here we are

[perenlop]

wanted to get work done today but didn’t... lol

#yesterday was supposed to be my ''just fuck around'' day bc i wanted to focus on the april fools thing i was doing #instead of that tho i just did even more ask blog stuff LMAO #echoed voice #its april tho its that time of the semester where my brain is starting to turn to mush and i stop caring

[inmirova]

btw this disability pride month make sure to include addicts in your activism. yeah I get that it's infuriating being dismissed as drug seeking when you yourself are not an addict and you need said medication and going through the fucking ringer on controlled substances every month is exhausting but imagine how it must be for the people these rules were made against. addiction alters how your brain functions, it's as much of a disability in its own right as any other mental disorder with physical symptoms is, and it makes people treat you as subhuman. addicts are seen as undeserving of help because they "got themselves into it" which is unbelievable bullshit. we talk all the time about how overexertion is bad for our disabilities, how using tools and mobility aids earlier is more helpful in the long run, but i don't really see people extend the same "let people and tools help you" grace to addicts.

#this is because i was talking to a friend about the fact that pharmacies where i live dont stock needles and syringes #and i told her that i use an anonymous needle exchange program bc i cant buy them out of pocket #and she was like 'isnt that for like. heroin users?' um. yeah and also anyone who is in need of safe equipment? #we have the same needs. we are siblings. the people who run the program started it for iv drug users and extended it #to include their disabled siblings who need it for medication. in what world would it not make sense to include them in our activism #idk this is jumbly because my brain is mush today but jfc #stop using the fact that drug use has been demonized as a point against drug users & blaming them for our problems w medical access #theyre helping us. we need to help them. we are all just people #also like. many addicts turned to drugs/alcohol to cope with disabilities. you couldve been them. #why would you fault them for that? #idk #i was just. shocked to see the 'but thats for scary druggies!' rhetoric come out of her mouth. #some people would see you the same way. this is the way your life turned out and this is the way theirs did. why would you judge them?

[yuoic]

.

#jesus Christ #I don't know if it's la putiza que me metí yesterday but my whole body aches #xdxdxd i think im sick #my first sickness experience living on my own #nobody to cook caldito de pollo for me anymore #feels really weird - nothing I didn't know I was gonna experience one day sooner or later #it's just strange xd #i'll cry a little and then go to sleep hhaha #T-T #moreover #fucking homework turned by brain into a mush #and i 100% blame a professor (friend of mine who started as just a professor; she no longer teaches in any of my classes) #she found out im a good listener and that i have 3¢ worth of human behavioural biology knowledge #And she spent two hours droning on her emotional/relationship/psychological problems nonstop #fucking 8 minute long ass voicenotes #completely unable to process a thing i'd tell her (hoping to help her out with what i can) #because she only wanted my attention and sense of being cared for #but it was exhausting #i am fond of her but i'll really need to avoid her until she chills the fuck out; im busy being my own mom at the moment #ain't got no time nor energy for a sibling as of now #personal

[esspurrr]

i like miquella as a character but i dont understand him

#soon as people start talking about the golden order and the interpretations of how he feels about it my brain turns to mush #but thats also bc the golden order lore delivered via fromsoft flavor text is literally impossible to understand #er blogging

[bakingmoomins]

I think next semester is going to be fully in person in my uni and I am. Not Ready.

#i have lost all my already limited social abilities and my brain has turned to mush bc of online uni so idk what im gonna do #and next semester i have to start thinking about my social service/community service idk english #and that would also mean that i have to take analysis 2 in person which i really don't want to do bc i am her biggest hater #also. the covid anxiety is still very much real i live with 5 at risk people and interact with my gfs family a lot #which are also very high risk. and. i've seen my uni's sanitary protocol the bathrooms are absolutely disgusting bc they don't wanna pay #union wages and our faculty is severly underfunded we don't have soap in the bathrooms and we're 13k students. just in my faculty #and a lot of ppl go to our cafeteria to eat bc the food is insanely cheap so. that's a lot of people and i am an anxious rat of a man #oh and i have to start looking for thesis advisors bc i can't graduate without one. very close to dropping out and #dming the tumblr sugar daddies back.

[surf-trip]

College is affecting my reading, can I quit? Like how am I supposed to finish a 5 (or is it 6?) book series in like a little over a week like I will do if I keep this pace when I have like 4 finals essays to do?

#rambles #seriously my superpower is to find the most addicting books in the worst times #I have been reading the MPHFPC books in a little over a day and they have long as fuck chapters #I’m almost finishing book 4 that I started yesterday and I have a essay to turn in tomorrow #one that will come out tomorrow and I only have until sunday to turn in that’s VERY important #plus 3 more to do #I’m counting the days until break where I’ll probably not even pick up a book because my brain turned into mush for all that I read #anyways sorry #mphfpc