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hannahjoy12103-blog · 7 years

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So my friend @elianadiana1106 is known to say some weird things. Here are 200 of them:

1. Snow be gonner 2. Cars are weird. Its like a room full of couches that moves. 3. Ok. But what are mailboxes. Its like. A mailbox is a box that humans that dont know you will send you stuff. And its socially unacceptable to open someone elses box but why?WHY WHY IS THAT? WHY IS IT UNACCEPTABLE TO OPEN SOMEONE ELSES BOX? 4. Names. Are a random selection of words. Like hannah. Ellie. Alicia. Why alicia. Why. 5. When i was little i was scared of fences. 6. One time isa was chasing me with a toad i named him fred and she made me hold him and if i didnt shed make him pee on me. 7. Lockers are tiny closets 8. Why arent electronic library cards a thing yet 9. Sometimes i wonder what life would be like without cupcakes and i cry 10. Scary guys scare me 11. You know what should be illegal? Pinapple on pizza. 12. What are houses. Theyre like caves but not. 13. Bears are scary. Theyre like giant dogs with teeth and claws. 14. It was a car except it wasnt a car. 15. Not that i know what a crying cat sounds like 16. *puts glasses in mouth* *bites down* ow 17. Whats a brain tho. Its like a box but its not a box. Its an oval. And it has all of your memories and your conscience in it and if you hit it too hard you do. 18. What is the purpose of eyebrows. I dont see an actual use for them except making sure they are on fleek. 19. I was in my living room and then my brother came in and punched me. 20. Why do people have hair. Does it protect them from being cold or something 21. What if there are aliens on earth but they look just like look just like humans so we cant differentiate 22. Why do colors clash. Why do some colors look good together and others dont. What if my red is your blue. 23. What happens if someone eats a phone 24. *sings veggie tales song* that reminds me of swedish men 25. Is that a trampoline?? Oh wait no thats my reflection nevermind 26. Glasses are like hey whats up i cant see anything so let me just put up this piece of glass in front of my eye so i can see. And tadaah the glasses were born 27. *looks out the window* Oh hey such niceness 28. *hits her head on the window* im a mess *hits her head on bus seat* owwwwww 29. Someone is calling my name *looks up* is it you god?? 30. Look its my favorite emoji because it reminds me of a gorilla (shes talking about this one>😤) 31. Bushes are like baby trees except they dont grow up 32. Speaking of scarring, The lion king made me cry 33. Why do people wear bright colored bookbags 34. Windows are like eyes into the home 35. Im twelve. Oh wait i lied no im thirteen. 36. I know how to Karate 37. Look im wearing fuzzy. Theyre the best of all pants. No other pants can compare 38. *is talking to Isa through a door* Well if yuh wanna talk to me, just pick the lock. Cuz apparently, you can do that 39. Mom wants me and mom is above you 40. I like busses. Theyre like catterpillars. Theyre long and they roll along 41. What if my chin had eyes 42. What id your eyes were your nostrils and your nostrils were your eyes 43. Im short. Kinda like a pudgy cupcake 44. Pigs are like cows except they give out milk. 45. Shut up and pretend im smart 46. Shut up and let me talk 47. *discusses the possibilities of rainbow snow* rain snow. Its like rainbow but its. Its smart appreciate it. 48. Help i need life alert 49. I rip out my hair for fun sometimes 50. Im pretty sure shes austrian. I dont know why. Just. Austrian. 51. Is this cold. *touches it* Oh yes very cold. 52. I know everything 53. Have you ever been a murder gorilla before? 54. Blue raspberry isnt even a thing. What are they feeding us?! 55. One time i ate a cat. But i didnt like it very much 56. I need to think of something funny to say. Becuase i like to make things funny. 57. So garbage cans are like portable dumpsters 58. What if theres a dimension where instead of there being people and it snowing, theres snow people and it rains flesh 59. Dying wasnt on my bucket list 60. so YOURE the one who ate MY pudding cup 61. Why are they called mason jars. Did mason design them? WHOS MASON? They should be called ellie jars. We all know that ellie is way better than mason 62. Where was the lightbulb invented 63. BEFORE you say anything. Do you remember Pinky Dinky Doo 64. Its like a freakin blueberry with a face 65. Dont bite your friends *sings* “Dont. Dont. Dont bite your friends” 66. I should be doing homework but instead im watching Yo Gabbah Gabbah 67. *sings the backyardigans theme song* 68. *sings the veggie tales theme song* 69. Do you remember junior the asparagus *starts singing moana* 70. So if i owned a pinetree, could i call it minetree 71. Red pandas are better than dolphins 72. *lydia starts talking* IS THAT YOU GOD 73. What if the firemen start the fires to keep them employed 74. Tic tac toe, pick one. One of them have to die. 75. Does derp and snerp rhyme 76. *touches nose to my phone* nose phone 77. Singing. Its just like stairs. I get out of breath. 78. One time i had a dream that i had to slay a dragon. It killed me. 79. One time i was walking my grandmas dog and a cat attacked me. 80. Are hearing aids glasses for the ears 81. Whats the difference between right twix and left twix 82. HEY LOOK THERES A DUCKY 83. Morgan is a russian spy? 84. What if you could take your eye out and see into someones soul? 85. Can fish drown? Like can they drown on air? 86. I had a dream where Logan got stabbed last night? 87. FIRE HYDRANT! 88. lions? I dont have any lions 89. Cinderella can go dig a hole and die in it 90. Thats sooooo ugly. Cinderella can wear it 91. I dont even like orange soda but i drink it because its sugar and i LOVEEEEEEE sugar 92. Oh no sweety those shoes do not go with that dress, unless youre Cinderella 93. I have a burning hatred for Cinderella 94. WHAT THE HECK IS– oh its me 95. Its time to listen to MY songs. Buckle up buddy. 96. If i was an animal i would be an irrawaddy dolphin. I am. An iraqaddy dolphin 97. Im DONE with this long hair. Im cutting it off. 98. Have you heard me sing? Thats not the sound of potential. Thats the sound of death 99. If you had a girl child what would you name her (i say i dont know). Youre right. Lily is a great name 100. HANDSTAND. No wait i cant do it i will break my neck 101. *makes the verbal sound for: “GAHSBXICIWOEBDKDIQ” * 102. Did someone say bork 103. What if four wasnt a number 104. *sings*: NOW YOU KNOWWWW WITH ELLIE YOUR DAILY INFORMATIONAL THING. YEAH. 105. Some people. Theyre like walls. 106. I didnt know its body fell off. Somebody shouldve given me a heads up. 107. *reads: I like trees* he better stay away from minetre 108. It feels like a worm entering my ear 109. I give up 110. You know how carter has 753 pens in his sock? That really SOCKS for him. Ha. Ha. Ha. 111. MAKE ME. oh wait you cant cuz youre on the other side of a locked door 112. SENTIENT TACOS ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY WATCH YOU. 113. SENTIENT WALLS. I HAVE FOUR OF THEM. 114. I had a dream that i killed a man 115. Its just a wallet. His name is walley. NO ITS A SENTIENT WALLET. that makes cents HA HA ha. Ha. That was good 116. I look like a naked mole rat 117. How did different kinds of birds come to be different 118. Hes a manager. Hes really good at managing things. And apparently hes a certified scuba diver 119. I kill at wii baseball ‘kay 120. The Miis creep me out like hey im the mini you living in the screen 121. Im single and i know it 122. The next dude who comes near me i will punch him in yhe throat. I will conventiently make sure its seamus 123. NO. THERES BUBBLE WRAP BUT ITS TAPED TO THE INSIDE SO I CANT POP IT EFFICIENTLY 124. Its like waves… but its not but it is 125. *phone buzzes* SHUT UP 126. A stylis. Its like a pencil for you phone 127. SO MANY SCREEN PROTECTORS 128. Go buy some new jeans. You dont need SCISSORS SARAH. 129. My friends say im weird. But i dont really think im weird you know. 130. Hes so tall. Hes like a freakin giraffe. Hows the air up there buddy? 131. Why the heck and i cutting holes in perfectly good jeans. I dont even like jeans. 132. I have 67 cats at home 133. What did cave people paint with? Their blood? 134. dude it’s the perfect weather to play tornado in 135. MIKE WAZOWSKI 136. Grass. Its like tini miniature trees. Im not wrong. Broccoli is a mini forrest 137. Seamus has an empty cardboard box in his room and i stole it and made it into a spaceship 138. That girl looks like me. She just want “agh” and just. Same. 139. The blankies name is dora. Dont ask why. Not my blankie tho. My blankies name is blue. I slipped on dora when i had my laptop in my lap. 140. Cinderella deserves nothing. 141. Morgan is a russian spy 142. LOOK ITS AN OLD GUY. i bet he has three dead bodies in his basement 143. A flute. You can shove it down their neck. And when their wheezing for breath beautiful melodies come out 144. The ninjas house is a bit further down. 145. Its like somewhere over the rainbow 146. I was just singing the entire soundtrack because why not. 147. Why do cars come in different colors? But the same inside colors? 148. Is it spelled nartz or narts 149. These people on my street painted their house mustard yellow and I don’t like it 150. How dis clowning start. Like hey lets paint our faces paint and put on red noses and see if children cry. I cried. I cried very hard. 151. Reich rhymes with branch 152. Cinderella deserves nothig but death 153. What if george washington IS THE WALLS? 154. The bus driver starts the bus before i sat down and i almost fell on my face. Lets face it that wasnt very nice of him. HA ha ha… 155. Jail backwards is laij 156. Do i confuse you more than math because nothing confuses me more than math 157. *rants about lotion* *cries* 158. The pogo is a no-go 159. I forget that i tell people things and im suprised when they already know, like how. Did you read my mind? 160. OH I HAD THIS DREAM. It was an animal apocalypse and they broke my glasses and I woke up mad and confused as to why I couldn’t see. 161. I think that in the alphabetical world, that c and s are rivals 162. Is a sticker still a sticker if it loses its stick 163. Stickers can go a die in a hole with Cinderella 164. Do you think the ocean is just salty because the beach never waves back? 165. Hey look its Mr. Testa. Dont testa me. HA. ha..haha 166. I want to go to sweden to see if they have swedish fish factories 167. Doesnt Switzerland make pretzels? Or is that Germany? 168. What if the sky is purple… 169. Me: *sends ellie a photo of an owl saying hello friend* ellie: WHOO ME?! haha get it… I’m making owl puns? What a hoot! 170. Ha ha… man i made this *send photo of hawk* Hawkward… 171. i see you are not *send photo of emu* EMUSED. 172. I get it, my puns are…fowl. Fowl. Did that send twice? Oh whale, i did it on porpoise. 173. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing it just waved. Did you sea what i did there? Im shore you did. 174. I almost ran into my wood bed. That woodn’t be fun now wood it 175. Im eating a bagel. Bagels? More like Bae Goals 176. Shea broke and 'unbreakable bowl’. Its unbowlievable 177. I just made up an 'under the sea’ parody about chocolate milk. Help me. 178. What did the grape say when he got stepped on? Nothing. He just let out a little wine 179. I think there is a monster under my bed 180. *draws a cherry* I thought it was a berry good drawing 181. I think of eyebrows as two countries. Unibrows unite them. 182. Im hanging out with sally right now (her imaginary friend who is homicidal) 183. I WILL WALK THERE WITH DETERMINATION AND GET TO MY DESTINATION TO FINISH YOUR EXTERMINATION. I WILL GO TO MURDER NATION 184. Ya know when spies do a little camp thing to catch the bad dude 185. Newspaper is so confusing. Its like a thousand tiny paper books. Im trying to read it but is not helping me 186. *talking about the origin of pretzels*but whose the mother country that was like “hey lets make some dough wrap like this then sprinkle some salt then how bout some mustard”. Like who did that. it couldn’t been a collaboration of countries. did they hold a world meeting to think of new foods 187. Where the heck did cake come from. Apparently the Greeks invented cake, but according to food historians the ancient Egyptians invented cake 188. Hey my family just decided that our new safe word is 'Oklahoma’ 189. I am certain that food historian is a real job 190. So apparently not all Catholic Churches have their sermons in Spanish 191. But apparently the actual Purple Heart is in Orlando 192. Apparently my friend Amanda almost pet a manatee today 193. THE PIZZA PLACE STOLE OUR PIZZA. I THINK. WE ORDERED PIZZA MUCH TIME AGO AND IT ISNT HERE YET 194. I was watching a show called Room on the Broom but it wasn’t very good 195. AND ARE STORES CALLED STORES BC YOU STORE FOOD THERE? OR IS IT CALLED A STORE BC YOU GET FOOD FROM THERE TO TAKE HOME AND STORE YOURSELF?? 196. aRGG I JUST GOT TOOTHPASTE IN MY EYE 197. I hate snow white almost as much as i hate cinderella 198. I should get a star on the hollywood floor 199. There’s a ladder on your roof, you should get that checked out 200. I have ice cream. aaaand I walked into a wall

#quotes #weird

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tyrus-ofcourseicame · 4 years

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Anne with an E: 3x10

Wow, what else can I say?

So as absolute shirbert trash this will be mainly about them, of course.

1. Okay, the episode starting with Gilbert telling Winnie he can’t marry her because he loves someone else, truly poetic cinema. And then her comment on unrequited love wow

2. Omg when Anne saw Gilbert at the school and couldn’t stop glancing at him and the same with him to her, beautiful. Then when she asks if he has anything else he wants to say wow. And then you can see his inner turmoil AHHHGG

3. Anne and Gilbert tying for first, wow how fucking iconic. From the beginning, being the best spellers in class, to now being tied for the best score. I love them so much thank you very much

4. Matthew hunny, just be supportive of Anne it’s all she needs even tho you think you are you aren’t

5. Okay honestly Mary’s son whatever his name is I don’t even care at this point shouldn’t have just shown up randomly in this episode just my opinion but yeah

6. Gilbert’s letter to Anne WOW. Omg he put his heart right out on his sleeve and then Anne, she JUST RIPS THE BITCH UP WHAT THE HELL. Then she tries to put it back together and she does it WRONG so she thinks he doesn’t love her AGH

7. Omg Anne is a queen and she is slaying wow her in the little suit was BEAUTIful. Amybeth Is literally the most gorgeous woman on the planet ty only facts

8. Anne talKING to Winnie and Winnie being pissed that Gilbert told Anne and Anne being completely confused was amazing and I honestly loved that scene. I think Winnie gained a lot of respect for her in that moment

9. Cole is such a sweetheart in every way I love him he is my actual son literally and how he knew Anne wasn’t actually okay wow best friend goalz.

10. Anne in the dress marilla made for her- WOWZA. Amybeth is again, the most beautiful being in the entire universe and that fucking dress wow. WOWWWWW

11. Should I just get on with the good stuff of keep going like this?

12. Okay okay I’ll get onto the good stuff

13. Diana screaming at Gilbert was my whole ass mood as a fan and I was so thankful she did that Diana the captain of the ship tbh, she really be killin it.

14. Gilbert “what note? DiANA WHAT NOTE” with his sad and broken face omg his voice when he said it WOW. He is truly smitten and when Diana called him out saying he liked Anne since she broke her slate over his head I fucking screamed BC U RIGHT

15. Gilbert fucking ran to see Anne did you see that shit HE FUCKING RAN

16. When they see each other- The look on Anne’s face and the look on Gilbert’s face They are literally in love did you SEE that shit

17. Okay, officiaLLY onto the good stuff.

18. When Gilbert kissed her you could see how long he had been waiting to do that. You could feel his pain and also adrenaline. You can feel how he feels for Anne and I truly would like to say good fucking job guys, you’re acting was phenoMENAL

19. When Gilbert pulls away and Anne pinches herself omg I choked she genuinely thought she was making up some sort of hallucination in her mind and when she realizes it’s real. The look on her faCE. OMF

20. Gilbert asking if Anne truly has feelings for him AND SHE KISSES HIM I ONLY EXPECTED MAYBE HALF A KISS BUT NOW WE HAVE TWO FULL ON KISSES. And the way Gilbert pushes into the second kiss with all the passion in the world WOW

21. Omg when Gilbert pulls away, hearing the bell and him smiling and her smiling and omg they are in love do you see that. Did you see that SCENE

22. GILBERT KISSED ANNES HANDS AND KNUCKLES THATS CANON IM SCREAMING OMFG

22. Diana showing up and thank god she’s going to queens and then her dad giving Gilbert the cart and then Gilbert swinging out of the cart to kiss Anne again wow

23. I’m not kidding when he got out of the cart I screamed so loud and almost literally died. The look on Gilbert’s face when he was walking up to Anne omg the CONFIDENCE he was showing wow. He is so fucking happy did you see the look on his face.

21. Then he confidently kisses Anne TWICE MORE. COMPLETE KISSES LIKE THEY WERE STRAIGHT UP MAKING OUT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

22. Then they both say that they’ll write to each other AT THE SAME TIME and the little wave omg did you see the little wave I cried I literally fucking sobbed tyvm omg the last time they ever saw each other as far as we know wow

23. MARILLA AND MATTHEW ARE THE BEST OMG THEY GOT ANNES MOTHERS BOOK OMG ANNE LOOKS JUST LIKE HER MOM THWY HAVE THE SAME HAIR OMG WHY AN I CRYING WHY AM I CRYING AT A FUCKING HAIR COLOR

24. Okay but....what’s goin on with ka’kwet. That’s kind of my final thought on the episode. I wanted some sort of ending to her storyline (hopefully a happy one) this episode because season 4, as of now, is not promised.

So final thoughts? Shirbert is endgame and I am very happy about it. I did not expect to get 4 kisses but I did and I truly thank the writers. You did shirbert justice. Diana’s storyline this entire season has been wrapped up and she’s going to college. I’m happy that she’s getting to live her own life. Matthew DIDNT DIE which thank goodness because we all assumed he would so THANK YOU for not killing him. Thank you for having Cole back for what is potentially the last episode. I got the gay representation I wanted. This episode has answered MOST of my questions and I am appreciative of that. It was an amazing finale to not only the season, but potentially the entire show. This episode only leaves me with one question. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH KA’KWET AHHHHHHHHHH

#awae spoilers #anne with an e spoilers #if you cant tell im dying #shirbert is endgame and im crying #im crying at everything #wHY AM I SO EMOTIONAL

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chaosmagetwin · 7 years

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The Burnt God

“THAHN DAHHHH PAWNCH!” I watched as Living Lightning’s fist started glowing, then smashed into the colossal War Beast. I sighed as white light smashed into my eyes and a shock wave followed. My eyes followed her silhouette in the light as she drift through the hole she made in the four-legged wolf monster, her own momentum throwing her into a building. She grabbed the ledge of the building with her non-glowing hand and pulled herself up.

I could only roll my eyes as she made a victory pose in her ridiculous pink spandex as the War Beast fell. I looked back to my own fight. A green humanoid creature struggled against my foot, trying to lift me, or push me of, or anything really. He was struggling to understand why a four foot tall girl could hold him down. Super Powers didn’t exist in his world.

Normally, i would have said He should have thought of that before he invaded our universe, but to be fair, they’d been pouring through the portal they’d opened for a while now, and they did not seem very smart. I half wondered if it was an accident.

“Are you going to finish him off? Come on, we still have a portal over there!” I gave a disparaging look to Talk Boy, my idiot friend. He’d been ‘fighting’ more than a dozen of what he called orcs. They now sat weeping in a huddle, their hopes and dreams collectively destroyed. Psych 101 was a particularly effective tool for him.

“Nah, I’m just not feeling it, you know? I’m just.... bored.” I sighed, and took my foot off the ‘orc’ and slammed it into his side. He flew off and crashed into the huddled orcs like a bowling ball, his side partly caved in. “You want a slice of pizza after this? I’m thinking Hawaiian.”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck in thought. “I mean, I prefer meat lovers, but, okay.” He stood up from his squatting rest position and stretched. Unlike me, he’s tall, practically six feet of handsome. He knew it too. If he were anyone else, I might have been infatuated, but I’d known him since before I had powers. It didn’t help that he looked and dressed like Elvis intentionally, but had the cracking voice of a fifteen year old boy.

I heard screeching behind me and sighed as something ran into my shield headlong. I turned and looked, only to find an enormous pterodactyl on the ground, its neck at an odd angle, the rider on the ground and holding it’s leg, screaming in pain. “Damnit. This is supposed to be a non-lethal job. Hey, it’s not my fault if one of them dies without me doing anything, right?” He was already gone. “... Okay, fine. I’m saying it’s not my fault.”

I’m not like most super heroes. They all try to be heroic and shit. I’m just a normal person who got powers unwillingly. You’d think magic would be something you had to study and learn, but when you got right down to it, all you had to do was imagine what you wanted. Unlike a lot of heroes, I didn’t have to work hard to get something done. Unlike a lot of heroes, I also just didn’t care. Some said I was creepy. Or that i was just a villain who hadn’t realized it yet.

Some said I was a sociopath, but I think they’re liars.

“Okay, buddy, time to get up.” I pulled my hands out of my pockets and grabbed the ‘orc’ by his rat-skin vest and tossed him lightly into the pile of orcs I’d already knocked over once. I watched as he wheeled his arms around in the air and landed on his hurt leg. It wasn’t my problem. They’d all be sent right back through the portal in a few minutes. They’d only be missing their War Beast and now their Pterodactyl. Maybe we’d toss them in, too, as a warning.

I looked over the edge of the roof of the skyscraper I’d been standing on. A few hundred orcs were trying, and failing, to fight a couple super heroes in just this street alone. I couldn’t recognize them from this distance. A look further down the street showed the containment squad. That meant the shield around the portal was up. Living Lightning was handling that area, in case anything big came through. A look down the opposite side of the street showed the portal. Nearly fifty stories tall, and made up of pulsating black, purple, and green, it was easily the worst looking portal I’d ever seen. Living Lightning was on the ground again, fighting... something. She was actually going all out. Odd. “Oy, green boys.” I turned and looked at the pile of orcs, who were either sobbing from their ‘fight’ with Talk Boy, or from pain. “Time to go.” I pulled my hands out of their pockets again and scooped them up into what I imagined was a soap bubble.

A leap off the skyscraper later, and I was on the street, casually ignoring the nearly fifty ‘orcs’ around me. Arrows plinked off the shield, swords shattered from what I imagined were mighty swings. Now that I was on the ground, I recognized Falrak the Thunderer and Terra Questa. Technically a couple, their powers were about as opposite in theme as they could get; Falrak was a warrior with S class strength, literally capable of picking up a skyscraper and using it as a club, while Terra Questa was a little ‘girl’ who had stopped aging thirty years ago and was telekinetic. Luckily for everyone involved, their relationship was platonic. “Kit? What are you doing here? Shouldnt you be skinning puppies or something?” It was Falrak. He never liked me for some reason.

“You know, that joke got old like... a year ago. I’m not a sociopath. I just don’t care like you do. Where are your inmates? I’m about ready to toss mine through the portal, and I figured I could just take a few off your hands.”

“Can’t you just.... take all of them?” Terra’s squeaky voice called out from the ruins. She must be resting. “I mean, it’s not like you need us to beat them into submission.” That was true.

“Well, I didn’t want to spoil anyone’s fun...” I lifted my hand and created bubbles for the rest. “But, if you don’t mind, why not?” Falrak opened his mouth to argue, but then just shook his head and stomped off. “There’s always another street!” I called out to him. “Not like they’re a challenge...”

For a moment, the air stood still. The next, everything went white as my shield dampened the sound of a massive explosion. I turned to look at the source; Living Lightning was missing half of her uniform, and breathing heavily. The thing she was fighting was a black skinned ‘orc’, a wild grin on its face. Most of its clothes were missing too, and the crater they stood in was smoking. I sighed unhappily. I knew I should have just taken the portal guard job. I flicked my wrist out and put some supports under the buildings that had started swaying dangerously, replacing the parts of the buildings that had been disintegrated by the explosion.

“El el! You okay?” Her head turned to look at me, surprise in her eyes. Unlike me, she was tall, and beautiful, and elegant. She had the type of blonde hair that I’d wanted when I was younger. When I was... different. I flicked out a shield in front of her as ablast of something flew for her. “HEY. We’re talking.” I stepped and teleported next to the ‘bork’ as I decided to dub him. “That’s very rude.” His eyes bulged and he swung something at me. A soft tap into his gut later, and he was flying through the building. “El, I’ll let you finish this fight. I’m just going to toss these guys through, and lock it back up. You okay?”

She turned to look at me for a second time, relief on her face. “Yeah, I’m fine. That guy..... he just keeps getting stronger. I think there’s some ritual on the other side thats powering him or something...” She winced and put a hand against her lower ribs. “Agh. I think I broke something. How about you, are you... oh, who am I kidding. Of course you’re fine.” I nodded. “Can I live that guy to you?” I nodded again. “Great. I’m just..... gonna go get some medical help.” She tensed, and with a flash of bright light, she was racing off as ball lightning. Half the reason she had the name she did.

I sighed as the Bork came flying back and smashed into my shield. His fists glowed with black energy, each contact with my shield creating shockwaves. I waited for a few seconds until he stopped, panting. “Are you done?” I checked my watch and shrugged. 12:30. He screamed at me, and for a second I wondered why my shield’s noise dampening was in effect. Until I heard the unearthly echoes. “Ah, that’s cute. You think you can intimidate me.” I gave him my widest smile.

“Congratulations! You’re the one millionth loser! There are three prizes available to you!” I grabbed him by the arm and watched his face for a half second as fear became his sole expression. A moment later he was slamming into the ground. “Behind door number 1 is pain! Behind door number 2 is humiliation! Behind door number three is a free trip home! and behind door number 4 is ALL OF THE ABOVE!” I lifted him up as he groaned. I didn’t feel like counting the number of broken bones he had at this point. A soft toss into the air later, and he was in a bubble with his sobbing friends.

I sighed. I’d actually been expecting... more. I floated the prison bubbles to the portal, bored. They’d pop when they went the full way through. But that was okay. Once the last one was through, I slid a barrier over the portal. The only thing left to do was wait for the rest of the heroes to bring their prisoners over so they could be shoved back through.

“You pass.” I opened my eyes and looked up at the disgusted Miss Freyr. “Though only barely. You get a S for strength, but a D for morals. Jesus Christ, Kit, what happened to you?” I yawned, and sat up, stretching. I was in class. I suddenly realized what happened. Miss Freyr was an illusionist teacher who liked to enter peoples minds and give them tests.

“Some god gave me powers when i didn’t want them. They had an adverse reaction to my emotions and morals.” It was the truth. I didn’t choose to be this way. She shook her head in disbelief.

“Also, the Bork? Really? Bork? You couldn’t come up with a better name?” She sighed and stood up from her chair. “You’re not a very good Super Hero, Miss Kitty Danger. You don’t wear a uniform, you don’t care about civilians, you barely care about your best friend, you’re mildly sadistic, and the sheer amount of... emotionless is disturbing. Why are you even trying to become a hero?”

I shrugged, unsurprised by her question. People asked me that a lot. “I don’t have a choice if you think about it. The god forced these powers on me, and told me I have to use them. I tried not to.... for a while. I just wanted to be normal. The more I didn’t use them, the harder it was to care. Then it became a question of either becoming a hero or a villain. I think we both know what the world would rather see. Do you really think anyone living could stop me if I became a villain?” Her face paled and she looked away. “That’s what I thought. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t choose to be emotionless. I didn’t choose to have powers. If I had a choice, I’d go and be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a factory worker or literally anything normal. I used to fantasize about being the damsel in distress for some handsome hero.” I stood up, grabbing my bag in the same motion. “Now I fantasize about feeling again. About killing a god. About bringing the one who did this to me to his knee’s and making him beg for my mercy. I fantasize about that moment where the god begs me to feel something for him.” I shrugged. “But I won’t. Because I can’t.”

Miss Freyr sighed, and opened the door. “Miss Kit... perhaps you should see a psychiatrist. Or a wizard. Maybe they could reawaken your emotions?”

“I’ll look into it.” I stepped out of the small classroom, and looked around. Ah. “El!” Living Lightning looked up and grinned at me, waving.

“Kit! I passed! Can you believe it?!” It was impossible for me to believe that she wouldn’t. She was a true hero. Everything I wasn’t. I gave her my best smile. My fakest. “Come on! I bet you Talk Boy passed, too.”

“Want to bet a Hawaiin pizza?”

She laughed, and shook her head. “No way. That’s gross. I’d bet you a Margherita pizza though.”

I rolled my eyes. “How about if he passes, I’ll buy pizza for you both, and if he doesn’t you’ll buy pizza for us?” The simplest solution. It was just as impossible for him to not pass too. Everyone would be happy. Well... everyone else.

“Deal! I’ll throw in ice cream and a happy movie too, cause we’ll need it if he doesn’t.” I nodded solemnly. “Oh, oh, oh, can I tell you my score? Please, please!” She grinned vividly at me, almost buzzing with excitement.

“Sure!” The scores were supposed to be private, but no one actually followed those rules but the teachers.

“S, S, S, A!” Strength, Speed, Morals, Teamwork. I smiled with fake pride. “Tell me yours! COME ON!!!”

“How much coffee did you have this morning?”

“FIVE CUPS, BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER!” Some of the other prospective heroes looked at her and shook their heads. “Come on, Tell me!”

“S, C, B, F.” I fibbed. “I forgot to work with anyone at all!” LL rolled her eyes at me, but grinned nevertheless.

“Of course you got an F for teamwork. Anyone you worked with would just get in your way. Ah! There he is!” She blurred her hand in a speed wave at Talk Boy. He grinned and waved back. “He’s smiling! I bet he passed!”

His smile was for totally different reasons, but she probably wasn’t wrong. he trotted over. “I passed!” LL screeched in joy and hugged him as he flushed. “Ow, my ears! El, relax!” He said with a laugh.

“Score, tell me your score!” He grinned widely as she demanded.

“C, S, S, S!”

“YES! WE’RE ALL S’S! THAT MEANS WE CAN TEAM UP!!!!” The two of them pumped their fists as I smiled blandly, struggling to match their ecstatic energy.

To say that we were the highest powered students in Powers College would be an understatement. Talk Boy and Living Lightning had all but become super heroes even before formally joining the college. They’d been my best friends before, strong from the time they were toddlers. In our world, that meant they were practically guaranteed a position of power. I’d been a nothing girl. For a while, anyways.

Most people who had powers averaged out to D’s. They wouldn’t normally become heroes or villains, and would just live out their lives normally. D’s weren’t very powerful. It basically just meant that they could do something. Some d’s made a trickle of water appear, others could power a light bulb. C’s were a bit stronger, but not by much. If a person had even one B, they could consider becoming a super hero. More than one meant they were likely to get scholarships for it. An A was the same as multiple b’s. Multiple A’s meant they were going to be recruited. And S’s.... S’s had enough power to make the world tremble. To say that they were recruited would be a misunderstanding. S’s joined, or they were assumed to be villains. No one with that sort of power could live normally.

I’d been born an F. F across the board, except morals probably. Powerless. Not that being a D would be any better. Party tricks are just party tricks, after all. I’d never cared, because I’d already set my mind to becoming an artist.

Not that Gods cared. Or friends. They’d always wanted me to develop powers. An unstoppable trio of heroes.

A wish granted.

“Kit! Kit! Hello?” I jerked into paying attention. Two pizza’s laid in front of us. “Oh, good, you’re awake. To us!” LL raised a tall mug of something golden. i realized I had one in front of me and hurriedly lifted mine as well as TB lifted his. A clink later, and we were drinking a beer each. When had I gotten here?

“So, anyways! I think we should call ourselves Dangerous Lighting Talkers!” TB snorted, and put a hand over his mouth and nose as beer spurted from his nose.

“Ahh, no way! That’s a bad name!” he said after managing to get himself under control.

“Hey, the DLT is a great name! Team DELT! Delta. Team Delta. See? It’s great!” Tb and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes as he mopped up the sprayed beer with a napkin.

“Why not something simple? Like.... Dream Team? I mean, we’re all s’s! That’s super rare, so, no one could argue.” LL rolled her eyes.

“Uhh, thats too generic! No, we need a unique name! Something that is totally us!”

“And team Delta isn’t?” I said after sipping my beer again. A yard of beer? Did I order this? “If you need a non generic name, why not just go with Team Generic. Everyone would be so busy arguing whether or not Team Generic is Generic that it would flip right back around from irony to pure genius because everyone would know our names.”

They both stared at me for a good long second before laughing. I smiled in return. “No way. We can’t name ourselves Team Generic. We don’t have generic powers, so.. I mean.... you sort of do. it doesn’t get much more generic than Imagination Based Magic.”

LL nodded in agreement with TB. “How about... Imaginary Microphones? Cause... microphones are electric! And he talks, and you have magic.”

I shrugged. “Whatever you guys like.” I took another sip of my beer. A golden lager of some sort. We had to be in Johnny’s. He was the only one who still served yards of beer and pizza. “How long have we been here?” I asked as casually as I could.

LL flipped her wrist to look at her watch. “Uhh.... fifteen minutes. Why?”

I checked my own watch. 12:30. I made a face. “Oh, nothing. In my test, I remember looking at my watch, and seeing this time, too.” I shrugged. “Just a weird feeling.”

TB looked deep in thought. “Imaginary Microphones.... I mean... it works. It just sounds like a dubstep style band name or something. And it shortens to I.M.” he shrugged again. “I think-”

I blinked at the black ceiling above me. No, it was white. It’s just dark. My ceiling at the dorm. I sighed and rubbed my face. Am I dreaming? No. It was all real. I was blacking out.

“Kitty Danger. Strange name, really.” Anger flashed up like a geyser of sweet release. His voice. The gods.

“Give me back my emotions.” I said blandly, my voice not matching my rage.

“Use me. Use my power. They’ll come back if you do.”

“I already do!” I sat up and looked around. “I use them daily now! Why am I blacking out?”

“You don’t use me enough.” He sat, cross legged, in the air and upside down. Half of his face was burnt charcoal. The other half was made of grey stone. His burnt charcoal side had three arms, at least one of which was moving at all times, while his stone side had two arms, but sticking out at odd angles. His too wide eyes looked more like fully open mouths with teeth for eyelids. “Use my power, and your memories will return.”

“What do you want from me? I already use your power!”

“You weren’t made to have power. So sad.” He ignored me. “So you can’t use it.” I grit my teeth and leapt at him, yelling.

“- and then I said that she should totally try out for being a super hero!” It was LL. I was staring at a statue. Where had I seen this statue before? My head hurts. “I didn’t think she’d actually just turn me down.” She sounded so young. I looked over at her. I realized I was floating. There she was, ten feet below me. Standing in front of the statue with TB. Her real name was Layla. TB’s was Alex. They looked upset.

I suddenly recognized the statue. It was the one from my youth, at school. It stood in the courtyard in front of the school. At this time, we were all ten years old. “She doesn’t have powers, Layla. It’s not fair to he to ask her to try for something she knows she can’t do....”

“What if... what if we got her powers?” No.

“What do you mean?” No.

“You remember that story from kindergarten? The one about Scout?” NO.

“...Yeah. He got powers from a god.” NO!

“She doesn’t care.... but we do. If we get her powers, then she’ll have to be a hero!” NO! NO! NO!

I stood in front of a temple on a mountain. “NO!” I screamed at it. Snow blasting into my face was the only response. I slid into the temple, the doors flying open as I approached across the flat ground. There, on the ground, sat two eleven year olds. Layla and Alex. Blood dripped from their hands onto a circle. “NO! Stop! You’re going to kill me!” I shouted. They couldn’t hear as they chanted something softly. “Please.... You’re going to kill the real me....” Tears spilled for the first time in what felt like years.

He appeared. His signature wide grin. His side that had once been charcoal was wood. One of his hands grabbed Layla as she screamed. He yelled as his wooden side burst into flame and quickly let her go. “Agh! Terrible children! I was going to bless you, and you do this?!” He glared at them with anger as he burned. “What do you want?” Alex grabbed Layla and pulled her back, quivering.

“Give our friend power. Her name is” The words distorted unnaturally. “Give her power. Not us.”

He stared at them for a moment. As the fire went out, and charcoal replaced wood, his face split open into a too wide mad grin. “Oh, very well. I shall do just that!” He laughed and disappeared, his laugh echoing off the temple walls.

My anger, my sorrow, my interest had all burnt away with his flames. I could only watch with bland calmness as the temple flew away into darkness.

It was replaced by my home. Me laying on the floor and watching the television. I looked... happy. Chewing on popcorn in the dead of night as I watched a horror movie. I yelped as the monster appeared on the screen. “Did I really look like that?”

“Yes.” The burnt god appeared next to me, his too-wide grin literally stretching from ear to ear. “A cute little girl, up all alone!” I flinched. I’d heard those words when i was younger. The other me flinched too, and looked around, fear on her face. It wouldn’t be the last time I felt it. I still had four years. “Too bad the little girl is powerless! She could never stop me.”

“Why did you do this?” The little girl didn’t hear my words. i watched as she turned the T.V. off, her eyes wide.

“I was asked to, of course.”

The little me screamed and ran from the television and the burnt god laughed. “But I suffered, and so shall you!” He turned to look at me.

“You are my revenge to them. You are my design. My avatar. They’ll never understand it until it is too late. When I fully possess you, they will pay for what they did.”

For a moment, an emotion twinged. Anger. It died. “That’s why I’m like this. So you can take me.” My old home fell away as he nodded somberly. “I want to hate you.”

“But you can’t!” he laughed raucously. “They should have never prayed to me!”

“Why do you need to possess me? Why do you need to do anything to me at all?”

“Because, my dear Kitty. There is so much more that I want than petty revenge. And you’ll be my instrument. Gods can’t stay long in the world unless they have an Avatar. And you.... You’ll be perfect.”

To be Continued.

#The Burnt God #Part 1 #Super hero #Creative Writing #College

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