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flyingcookierambles · 2 years

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rant ig

in recent news last week on wednesday my idiot sister and her borderline anti-vax boyfriend got covid and now my mom is getting sick and we’re worried that it’s covid instead of a normal seasonal cold or mild allergy and im just hgioehgaoieh i hate it here no matter what i do to keep myself safe the issue is coming from within the house in my case my sister and her boyfriend stayed had dinner and stayed overnight 2 fridays ago ughghghgh i hate this i hate her literal deadly trash taste in men ghroeahgorehgreog i have asthema my mom has diabetes the idiot trash taste sister also has asthema and a lot of people in my family are 50-60+ year old boomers with various health issues from hard manual labor all their lives as blue collar workers plus my 84 year old grandma ghrueagihreuoghreaoghreio gheriogheovhdfovhav hgorehgaoeh agho plus we’ve started inviting my maternal grandma and her sister to our family parties and they’re like 70-ish or so and my grandma’s sister is only here now bc her husband literally died of covid bc some idiot step-uncle that i’ve never met apparently went to thanksgiving last year without being vaccinated and gave the entire family covid and killed his uncle im just hr igohreaoihraeioghaeoighraioheog ifoahgoheg i hate it here we’ve kicked my sister out to be with her boyfriend bc of the sickness but they were still here in my house i hate it i hate it so much plus the idiot borderline anti-vaxxer boyfriend is a carpenter and he insists on going to work going into people’s homes and businesses while getting angry at the mere suggestion of wearing a mask or doing an at home test and then whenever my sister talks on the phone with my mom she said that her boyfriend said that “she really ought to go back to work even though she’s sick” (puzzlingly her employers also agree despite it being a private nanny job for rich people on the rich side of town watching literally babies (2 kids under 4 years old, idk if they’re even old enough for a ovid shot) plus the employer’s mom died of covid just a few months ago wtf???) and that “my boyfriend’s coworkers all agree that we’re just overreacting about covid “and im just like yeah duh they’re all also constuction workers/carpenters probably who believe in some weird libteratiarn toxic masculinity where other peoples’ lives dont matter to them and grejaigerioaehoe hrgoaho ghreoag seriously im so sick and tired of thes i wish all stupid anti-vaccers a very get polio measles tuberculosis and die if you want to so so so badly bc youre a fragile little snowflake who either thinks that your “special macho dna will out-manliness literal bacteria” or “bill gates is putting microchips in our bodies for the (insert some most likely anti-semitic conspiracy theory about robot lizard alien overlords living in the sewers of atlantis)” and leave the rest of us reasonable folk who listen to science and doctors alone

in other news if i somehow get covid at least my steam deck came in + im literally working my temp office job + my retail job, so i can have an excuse for a break from my 7 days a week, 45-50 hours work that allowed me to afford a steam deck in the first place + we have an excuse to not go to the cousin that we don’t like’s wedding next weekend in ohio so gihiroeahgeorihgoe eh :/

im so tired

when the idiots stayed over it was in my sisters’ childhood room that shares a cold air vent with my mom’s room next door

ughghghghghghghg if we don’t get it at this point its a miracle

like 3/4 of all covid scares that happened to my family so far have been from my sister’s dumb libertarian anti-vaxxer/anti-covid boyfriends im just like kick her out of the house go away i cant take it anymore

if i have to call off work i want my sister to pay for my doctor’s appointment to get my inhaler prescription, my inhaler, and all the days i have to call off work, i would never get this normally, ive literally worn a mask all this time since like 2020 march when going to work even now i am the only one both my work places that consistently wears one and with this scare im eating outside in the cold windy autumn at the picnic tables for the smokers bc i dont want to be *that guy* who infects the entire office

ughghghghghgh i hate it here

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kulliare · 3 years

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i am going to behave like a little rabid rat soon

#my niece who’s 11 wants to get the vaccine #except her parents are anti vax #when my parents told me i wanted to help her secretly get it #but they were like dont bc what if she gets ‘sick’ from the vaccine #like even those 2 days and then they blame i #*you sorry not i #but like agh :( when she’s 12 she can get it on her own but thats a ways off #i just worry for her bc when she goes back to school again...

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k3rm1e · 3 years

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hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

sickly

:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!

cw: cursing

mumza and dadza take care of you:

it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.

“mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.

“yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful.

within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.

the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.

` “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.

while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.

“yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.

“alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.

“bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.

“oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing.

“... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.

“oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”

“i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”

“oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.

“not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.

“what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”

“shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.

“what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”

kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”

“thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike.

for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.

“this food… is so… fucking good.”

“agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.

“WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”

after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.

instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”

hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”

pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”

slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.

“uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.

“i’m fineeee”

“no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”

“but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.

phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.

“i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.

“no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.

“but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”

above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”

“you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.

“yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”

kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.

“i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.

turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.

“i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”

laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”

you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.

a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.

hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri

i want parents like dadza and mumza now

#:^) anon #mcyt x reader #philza x reader #mumza x reader #is that a tag?#idk

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transrightsjimin · 2 years

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covid rants as per usual

had 4 teams meetings today nd slept too few nd i did alright at work but im rly overwhelmed frm the social interaction nd a colleague suggested we go out to somewhere outside w colleagues, to like a picnic or smth bc most of us rarely saw each other irl nd the rest was super enthused nd i just sat there like :S

nd afterwards i tried to finally, finally, like fcking 2 years too late but finally setting up a word document to go drop all these articles and useful websites nd posts in, to debunk eugenics sht and provide helpful websites, resources, accounts etc for those who do want to actually end covid and be able to go to safer places or get vaccines tht might otherwise be thrown away etc.

long sentence but urgh anyway i searched for omikron to check if it's spelled w a K in dutch and the search results were ONLY articles in major news website articles in dutch that celebrate how omicron is 'milder' and defenses of stuff opening up even while infection rates r terribly high and rising and i just felt sick to my stomach already from an NOS article tht claimed we should go for a 'controlled spread' approach for 'natural immunity' as if that wasnt already explicitly stated to be the policy since 2020, and also this child pedetrician / dutch CDC (OMT) member Patricia Bruijning who shared in a dutch talk show she wouldn't vaccinate her kids if she had them etc.

just god i tried to keep working on the word file but the first good article i wanted ti add is inaccessible outside the US nd i got too tired sifting(?) thriugh bookmarks on twt bd just only have the titles for what i wanted to have in the word doc i wanted to base my carrd on. im just mad i started this so late and everything stresses me out nd nothing can relax or distract me

maybe i shiuld rly draw out my feelings but idt i should rn bc i just get even more fristrrated thinking about it urghghg

im just tired of this eugenics bs and so scared of getting infected and for losing loved ones to the virus and every day i dont finish this carrd is another day a person didnt read or share it nd risks their health nd life more. and im just so so fking sick of the gaslighting, being told by others both on individual nd societal level tht i'm exaggerating nd ir's not that bad and that i'm too extremist and 'we don't know if masks work' and i need to consider other people's perspective as if that isn't shoved down our throats by the state nd literally the majority, and that it's not an issue if people die abd that theres no risk for kids and that we're safe and covid is over or over soon and and go along w the givt and media and crowd bc 'polderen' and 'acting normal' nd just the cultural, educatiobal, medical field etc that dont give a fck about face masks nd any other measures bc ppl dont knpw covid spreads via aerosoles nd otherwise dont care

also just remembered my manager / boss in a meeting complained a lot abt how a student in some survey filled in they think the non-EER student tuition fee (abt €11K / year i think) is too high nd didn't make sense w the 'inclusion and diversity' message of the uni. which yeah they're absolutely right abt lol

nd he was furious nd was concerned that this one student would harm the reputation of the school and disagreed strongly bc tuition fees for those groups might get even larger bc the university (supposedly) has too few funds nd needs more bc the student loan system will be stopped etc and him nd colleagues were poking fun at our faculty head(? i think) who complained 'this is a school but this sounds like a business!' (not in the call) nd manager nd colleagues were like 'of course it's a business' nd manager/boss used a weird analogy for why the complaint made no sense nd he said this is why they need to tackle the issue w the marketing team nd use data to determine more where to gather international students from bc those graduates result in larger funds for universities. just. christ. like i somewhat enjoy my job but the school is so corporate i dont know what to say nd again just that whole. polderen sht which basically just means 'go along w the status quo or shut up'

#rambles #im stressed nd tired #nd lost my noise cancelling headphones somewhere ㅠㅠ

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magic-or-whatever · 3 years

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Tw: toxic family and household, chronic illness, mental health, probably medical neglect idk, food, poverty, probably some other stuff too

Sorry for venting like this

I keep seeing videos and photos of people wearing cool makeup and showing off their rooms and houses and decorations and I cant really wrap my head around people getting to personalize their spaces or buy, practice, and wear makeup.

I've worn makeup probably a grand total of 15 times in my life. Most of those were for the sake of other people. I was an unpaid child actor. I was in weddings. I was not allowed to cut my hair and unable to wear makeup without getting harassed by family over it.

I've never had any decorations in my room. No posters, pictures, shelves, anything.

The excuse was poverty but obviously that wasnt it bc everyone else in my household was able to do that. My mother put all my siblings in sports and clubs and allowed them to gain skills through experience. She taught them how to cook, taught my sister how to do makeup, bought everyone else new clothes except for me. I got hand-me-downs. For everything.

And then she started dating my stepdad. When he moved in, I was no longer allowed to make noise or I would get yelled at. I was taken off of the insurance, went almost 8 years, all during my developmental ages (11-20), off of the insurance, was taken to the hospital only 3 times during that period. I have not been to the dentist since I was 12. I am late on all my vaccinations bc I haven't gotten a single one since I was 9. I walked around on a dislocated knee for a year and a half because no one would listen to me or take me to get it fixed.

Events that I was promised always got canceled. I was not taught how to drive, get a bank account, get a job, nothing.

I am constantly shamed for not having any skills bc I was not allowed an environment where I could develop them. My mental and physical health was never of importance. I have lasting health consequences from this time. And somehow it's my fault. Bc my stepdad is more important than I am. Bc I dont "pull my own weight" . For not having a job during a pandemic that is dangerous for me to leave the house bc of my health problems, and during an economic crisis. I dont know what food in the house I am allowed to eat without getting yelled at and called selfish. I cant get health insurance bc I dont know how. I get anxiety over using the bathroom bc I'm the only one that flushes and I get yelled at for flushing everyone else's piss before I go. I get yelled at for showering every day bc my job has me covered in chemical cleaners and sometimes piss. I get yelled at bc my showers last more than 10 minutes bc I cant get water in my ears and I can't bend down or lift my arms without blacking out. I get in trouble and called selfish for staying in my room when I'm home, or for asking to buy good that I can eat, and getting mad when other people eat it, bc it's my food, it's the only stuff I can eat without getting sick.

I dont understand how other people can do the things that I was never able to do.

#tw: mental health #tw: chronic pain #tw chronic illness #tw toxic family #tw toxic parents #tw toxic household #tw medical neglect #tw food problems #tw poverty #i thought decorating your room was only in the movies until senior year #and this is just my mom and stepdad #dont get me started on my dad

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ditto · 4 years

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wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again.

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire.

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire.

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again.

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think.

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this.

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

#summer2020 #1.7k words #animal death #unsanitary

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parabcllums · 5 years

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⌜ LYRICA OKANO, GENDERFLUID, SHE / THEY / HE | nightmare by halsey, sanguine, the stepford child ⌟ ⏤ blink and you’ll miss MORGAN ANTONIA STARK, the TWENTY TWO year old child of TONY STARK & PEPPER POTTS ! they’re an UNDERGRAD student at paragon academy, and i’ve always found them to be pretty SELF SACRIFICING & SELF MADE, though i’ve heard that they can also be really INSCRUTABLE & OBSTINATE. i don’t think getting their way is a smart thing to do - everyone knows that their power is GENIUS LEVEL INTELLECT & LATENT EXTREMIS VIRUS. you can check out their pinterest board HERE or their stat page HERE !

i am MONUMENTAL with a heart of glass, and hands made of stone. ( touch me ). touch me.

SECTION ONE OF TWO : BULLETPOINT HISTORY trigger warning for infant sickness & ( teen ) pregnancy

march 30th, 1996 ; morgan antonia harold stark enters into the world by c section at exactly 6:59 am, three weeks before their due date. like most parents in their position, tony and pepper like to joke that morgan couldn’t wait to see the world - it adds a touch of humor to otherwise stressful memories, of a difficult pregnancy and extended time on bedrest. it brings a chuckle, no matter how small, even during those early years.

they’re a sickly child. it seems predetermined. anything that could be wrong very often was ; starting with influenza contracted aged six months, which leads into an extended stay in the icu due to contracted pneumonia. there’s something wrong ; a genetic condition, a primary immune deficiency that means anything they can catch, they do. their parents do their best to make sure that they’re kept up to date on their vaccinations, that they stay away from crowded spaces during cold season - but they contract meningitis when they’re five, and the resulting virus very almost kills them. treatment, after, is rigorous. neither tony nor pepper want to lose them.

by extension, they’re also a very SHELTERED child. their parents are over protective by nature, and they allow it, no matter what seeds of resentment begin to grow, in those earliest years. they know that they only want the best for them, that they only want to see them right - they know that their father isn’t scared of anything as much as he is afraid of losing any of them, and they know that their mother isn’t all that different. they wish that things were different, but they settle into a routine, regardless.

to the outside world, the stark’s are the perfect family. they’re rich. they’re genetically blessed. they have EVERYTHING they could want, and they never even have to think about it. morgan is a shining jewel, from the moment that they turn around on their way into a convention center, hand in daddy’s, and wave. every so often, a story will run in the tabloids surrounding the stark kids - when the paparazzi come searching for photos, morgan always plays up for the camera. when they’re old enough, they seem to have a natural born talent for knowing what to say. they’re a stepford child in a stepford family, and they never let the image slip.

they do everything, to be perfect. to never let their parents down. to be everything that they WANT them to be, and then some. they’re in a dozen clubs. they’re on a dozen teams. they excel in school with god given talent, and they seem to be surrounded by friends, at every turn. they’re well behaved and well spoken, they know exactly how to act - and yes, over time, they become quite self obsessed. they’re told all the time how beautiful they are, how intelligent, and they have a neverending stream of people to keep them on their toes. in school, people below them think that they’re quite rude. that they’re a bitch, a rich, spoiled, stuck up kind of bitch - but the truth is, they just don’t think. they don’t go out of their way to be anything, really, and that thoughtlessness follows them.

they only let themselves slip when teenage hormones come into play. they'd never really acted upon the feeling, deep down, of pressure - they had never done anything to step over the line. there were expectations upon them and there were things that they had never been allowed to do because of who they were, but they loved their parents, and they let them have that control on their life ; they STILL did, even as they began to rebel. by day, the perfect child. by night, a steady descent. it was so painfully easy for morgan to find the party scene, and begin experimenting. alcohol and drugs, sure, but the real problem came when morgan began to discover her sexuality. they just wanted to know what it felt like, the first time that they strolled up to a boy at a party and kissed them. they just wanted to know what it felt like, the first time that they led someone upstairs. they just wanted to try it.

and then the strip turned pink. they were sixteen. they were no longer PERFECT. even if they never said it, morgan felt as if they could feel the disappointment, radiating from their parents. they scrambled to know what to do, and for a chunk of those nine months, struggled with the idea of growing up and letting go. they did what they thought was right, they found a willing family, a perfect one, and they made all the necessary arrangements to hand the baby over when the time came. and then their pregnancy got difficult, and on bedrest, they spent a lot of time simply... talking to their bump. and when they woke up after their c section, and were offered the chance to see their kid - they didn’t want to let it go. they didn’t want to say goodbye.

virginia marie stark, soon to be known as gigi, wasn’t always wanted. but all of a sudden, she was. and morgan wasn’t letting her go.

they were terrified of disappointment, of being seen as a failure. they never told their parents that - they just moved themselves and gigi out of home, eight months after her birth, and pushed away the people they should have stayed closest with before they had the chance to do it to them. they felt like it was easier. actually, it was worse.

and they grew up. as out of bounds as it had once been thought to be - they did it, because they had to, because they realized that they could.

SECTION TWO OF TWO : WANTED CONNECTIONS

im going to include the like, long ass actual wcs at the bottom, but : the father of morgan’s kid is MOST wanted, right now ! my personal favorite way that the connect could go is that gigi’s father is actually someone who was teenage morgan’s closest friend, someone who she experimented with, who she was wholly comfortable with. they probably have suspicions, but maybe don’t realize even now !

past flings from their teen years are ALWAYS wanted, especially since they were something that morgan really indulged in - but i’m also completely open for current flings, or more recent exes. love ? in this economy ? nah

( similarly, more info down below ) i wld love the prospective parents of gigi that morgan disappointed bc that was a dick move on all parts and wld be such juicy drama, now

definitely wld love an ex group of “”best friends”” who , y’know - were just a rich kid squad causing trouble, that morgan lost contact with / got ostracized from upon her teenage pregnancy

genuine ! friends ! made ! in ! the past ! six ! years ! the first GENUINE friends morgan ever made - preferably people she didn’t know before, but who they met and got super close with upon moving out of the fam home

oh also their older siblings - there are two spots and i wld LOVE to see them snagged because... also... drama

i think it makes most sense for morgan to be living off campus, so a roommate wld be neat - they could be one of her genuine friends, or they could b someone that they dont really know that well. open to anything !

MORGAN STARK, our LYRICA OKANO fc, is looking for a EX FLING / ONE NIGHT STAND / FATHER OF HER CHILD connection who looks like ALEX FITZALAN, CHANCE PERDOMO, FINN COLE, DREW RAY TANNER / PLAYERS CHOICE, who is 21 - 23. you DO have to contact prior to applying at PARABCLLUMS or DISCORD. ( one word : yikes. the thing is. the father of morgan’s kid doesn’t… know that they’re the father of morgan’s kid, though they absolutely COULD have their suspicions. i think there’s like… a bunch of directions in which this could go. once upon a time, morgan was… only the prime and proper kid of tony stark and pepper potts, and yeah - her fall from grace came in the form of a teen pregnancy. she was rebelling, and that led to her becoming a bit of a party girl. she made mistakes. she dated around. she had one wrong one night stand, and she ended up pregnant [ later giving birth to virginia marie stark, also known as gigi ]. her life was completely derailed, and when she chose not to put her kid up for adoption, it seemed only to get worse. she had no desire to derail anybody else’s life, too, so she never did. no matter what rumors were thrown around by friends or by tabloids, she never said who the kids dad was - and it really could have been anyones. a best friend. an otherwise enemy she made one bad call with. a friends boyfriend! someone she shouldn’t have been with, someone she felt something for… as i said. limitless potential. we can talk ! )

MORGAN STARK, our LYRICA OKANO fc, is looking for a JUNO STYLE connection who looks like PLAYERS CHOICE, who is 30+ YEARS OF AGE. you DO have to contact prior to applying at PARABCLLUMS or DISCORD. ( i don’t know what to call this. basically : when morgan was sixteen, she got pregnant. it was a scandal perfect for tabloids all across the world, and nothing could have outdone it - except for when she disappointed the prospective adoptive parents of her kid by backing out, upon gigi’s birth. all the way along, they would have been given the impression that morgan was going to hand over the baby to them. all the way along, she DID intend on doing so. things only changed when gigi came into the world, and morgan continues to feel horrific about what happened to this day… though she’s not really good at expressing that. )

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herecomesnaya · 5 years

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I tried defending myself about liking underage fics to someone, they said my argument is too black and white and dont make sense like, "i really do not care if it’s fictional bc someone enjoying that kinda content must be based off smth, u must get that idea from somewhere, and i think that’s really sick. that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. 1/2

"that’s normalizing sexualizing children man, it’s so wrong. u can’t say fiction and real life are two completely separate entities bc fictional elements are based off of reality!!!!!! and u really thought u said sumn with the horror movie example huh? who or what are u rooting for when u watch horror movies? bc i personally want the ppl to survive. are u reading underage fics bc u want the minors to escape the abusive relationship?" 2/3 rather

"also, not to get to close to u but what do u think ur boss or co-workers or whomever would think if they found out about u enjoying this kinda content? bc that answer should tell u enough about how problematic it is. hope u understand better !" it's bc i had made an example bc i work at an ngo to stop pedophiles from harming children but i read underage fics she rlly said this wow im

undefeatable logic here: the person’s irl career invalidated by their fictional preferences, the same way doctors aren’t allowed to watch horror movies because then they’re promoting grievous injuries

someone’s being too black-and-white here, but it’s not you, anon. enjoying fictional content isn’t, and has never been, a 1:1 “we consume the content we wish we were personally engaged in.” there are a million reasons a person might watch horror movies, just like there are a million reasons a person might want to write underage fics. it’s not “I want to see people escape a murderer” vs. “I want to watch people die,” and it’s not “I want to read about a fictional child being victimized” vs. “I want to see victimized fictional children escape their circumstances.”

I’ve told this story before, but I’ll say it again now. when I was younger, I was terrified of horror movies, to the point of not being able to be in the room if one was playing. I spent more than one Halloween locked in my bathroom, crying my eyes out because there were too many people outside wearing Ghostface masks. I was a far cry from the horror fanatic, Halloween-loving gore writer I am today!

I made a decision at a certain point to consume the media I was most afraid of, like a vaccine against that terror that made it so hard for me to function when I was a kid. horror lets me safely explore the worst-case scenario. it lets me think more about a character’s personality when I can see them at their lowest, what they might do if they’re running from a murderer or trying to escape a torture dungeon. I can dip my toes into that world and rest assured that the safety of real life is waiting for me when I get back.

I hear that person saying “they’re not the same,” so let me address the elephant in the room: sex.

so, yeah, I like horror for all the reasons I listed above. I also like guro, and noncon, and all those other ugly things when it comes to fic and smut. sexualizing horror was another way for me to own that fear, to mold it into something positive instead of negative (you hear a similar thing with rape victims who start to enjoy noncon, etc.). of course I’m still disgusted by the idea of any of that stuff in real life, but in a purely fictional context, it’s a welcome release from day-to-day anxieties.

there are people out there who like things that we can’t even dream of, for reasons we will never understand, reasons that make perfect sense for the person behind them. so much goes into human sexuality, from our formative years all the way through our lives. it’s impossible to break it down into a right-or-wrong, “this is how it works” sort of equation.

so how does this translate to fiction? take Mirror Mask. for me, that series is an exploration into the different outcomes of CSA and rape, with Dick representing hypersexuality and Jason representing sexual aversion. it’s not the Entire Point of the fic, but it’s one of many examples I could give of why I write those things for reasons that aren’t “I like the idea of kids being raped hurrrdurdurdur.” (which I don’t, at all. it disgusts me. but this? ain’t it, chief)

what matters is that you know the difference between your personal preferences and how things should be in the real world. hell, you actively make a difference to real victims, which is more than most antis on this site can say. bullying does nothing but make the person doing it feel powerful. I’d ask that person to examine why they feel the need to “make a difference” by targeting small fandom creators (who are mostly queer/female/people who are mistaken for female) instead of the adult cishet men who made the world this way.

feel free to share this with them, or anyone else you might get into these debates with. sorry I went on for so long, and I hope it helped!

#ask #the shitscourse #tw rape #tw csa #Anonymous

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ghoulstars · 6 years

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im only posting this bc i desperately need to exorcise this thought somewhere bc it wont fucking leave me alone

those of you who know me personally or follow my instagram know about this but for those of you who dont: in a horrible turn of events, our plan to put down our geriatric yellow labrador retriever dixie was unfortunately and unexpectedly doubled today to having to put down our 3 year old engam bulldog, bean, as well

when we got him in mid december, 2015 he was barely out of puppyhood, we found him wandering around near the highway at our local gas station with a collar and no tag, trying to jump into two out-of-towner girls’ car. my stepdad intervened bc they couldnt take bean with them obviously, and brought him home instead.

we put up lost dog flyers everywhere all over our very small city, in an attempt to maybe see if someone would indeed come forward for their dog. we knew he wasnt just a stray because of his collar.

almost right off the bat, we were told by a woman who worked at the gas station that there was a man who lived in the trailer park just across the road, located behind the pancake diner. you can see it from the gas station parking lot. she told us that he had a lot of dogs that he typically kept chained up outside in poor conditions, and beat them regularly. to us? it seemed totally reasonable that that must’ve been where bean came from, given the fact he was a dog and we found him literally less than 50 feet away from where this fucking man lived.

no one came forward to claim bean. we kept those flyers up for months, we only put them up to begin with knowing he may have been thrown out by (or escaped from) this disgusting man just because there was the possibility that it wasn’t his dog, but someone else’s. as well as the potential for legal intervention if this fabled abuser found out we had technically stolen his dog (and full disclosure, fuck him for what he does, i hope all his dogs get stolen like they need to be, i myself was not fond of the idea of just giving the dog back to this creep if he was indeed the owner but i was only 16 at the time so there wasnt much i could do)

with no one claiming bean, after those months passed, we decided that he was ours now. flyers were taken down, we gave him his collar and nametag, to be real he’d already been named by us in the first few days we had him. he was going to be ours no matter what; my mother always told me its a rule that if you name a stray, and do it quick before anyone can object to keeping it, it’s yours now. that’s your pet, with it’s new name.

so we carried on with our lives, now having not just one dog, but two. it was a bit iffy with my stepfather keeping bean since we didnt technically need to manage two dogs at the time, but we still did it anyways because we loved him, the little bean man.

but here’s where my problem lies and this is why im writing this now: as time went on and we continued to have bean as our pet, some stuff about the original suggestion that he belonged to an abusive older man who lived in close proximity to where we found bean wasnt adding up

due to dixie’s failing body, she would sometimes lose control of her bowels inside the house, which was becoming unacceptable when she stayed in overnight. so, she stayed outside. she and bean bonded, so they stayed outside together too. (and for clarity here, i know what some of you might want to say, but we knew very early on that bulldogs do not do well with heat or isolation. we also know that dixie probably shouldve been put down years ago, but here’s the trouble: my stepfather would not let us euthanize her. she is his dog technically, and the thought hurt him so much that he would not agree to it for YEARS. dixie and bean were too attached to separate them for long periods of time like they would be if we kept bean inside mostly and her outside mostly; that would’ve been cruel in its own special way. we put pools out for bean and visited with both dogs for as much as we could outside, bathed them, put fans out for them in the summer. our only option to give bean the main love and care he needed was, and of course we had other reasons to do this, to put dixie down, which was where we thought we were finally going to be by tomorrow, but thats not what happened, as you can tell)

as to be expected, bean sometimes found his way inside, mostly by applying his american bulldog traits to memorizing when unfamiliar guests would come over and bolt in the house. he did this enough times and very recently we were letting him stay inside instead of taking him back out, and all of these experiences combined, we noticed something: bean was housebroken. he was out of practice with it, and did not know very well how to communicate that he needed to go outside to use the bathroom, but he did know what to do. he would run to the door if he had to go, not always making it, but still, he was housebroken. he only marked furniture once while inside, in his entire lifespan thus far. that was a red flag to us, but especially my mother, who realized this skill of beans directly contradicted the statement that he was probably kept outside, chained up, starved, and beaten by the trailer park guy. not to mention, bean came to us in nearly perfect condition to begin with, just skinny. no patches of fur gone, he was the opposite of skittish and aggressive, no bruises, nothing. just a loving, bouncy, stupid bulldog mix

this, im not sure if im correct about this, but it stands out enough to me that i feel its worth mentioning: bean is not a mutt of any kind, and his breed contradicts those types of breeds most people who abuse animals come to own; usually large breeds, breeds inaccurately known for aggression, and breeds used by abusers to make aggressive bc they know the fighting power of these dogs (pitbulls, american bulldogs, etc). bean is an engam bulldog (english/american mix), which is a very obscure mixed breed dog to begin with and especially obscure where i live, and as we all know english bulldogs are short, stout, fat little things that can basically do no harm whatsoever. they also have a history of inbreeding to look how they do. i know this man may have just seen ‘bulldog’ and snagged him thinking he’d be aggressive, but that does not sit right with me for two other reasons: bean’s conformation (body structure) and coloration. there is nothing about bean that suggests he was bred to be used for fighting, or that he’s a true mutt, or anything of the sort. his body type literally resembles that of show dogs, and his fur coloration is highly unusual because he’s blue. obviously not literally blue but the type of blue-grey you can find in animals, typically seen in cats. bean’s coloration is almost NEVER found in ANY breed of bulldog, it is INCREDIBLY rare that he looks like this. his condition in which we found him, his housebrokenness, his color and his body formation lead, in me and my family’s opinion, to an alternative opinion: he belonged to someone that got him because they wanted a dog as a pet, not to beat, and they either bred him themselves or bought him (probably from a pet store or breeder) for his color and conformation.

but why would they dump a dog this valuable? my mom said this to me earlier, sobbing after she returned from the vet today, and this is my whole reason for writing this insane fucking novel of a post: whoever dumped bean threw out a sick puppy, and on purpose.

bean hasnt been injured or contracted an unvaccinated illness or anything like that. he had been experiencing extreme stomach distension for the past month, whereas he was losing weight everywhere else on his body. he had also been vomiting. but he wasnt depressed, or lethargic. maybe his personality was a little off but not so much it was horribly noticeable, and at that, he was still eating regularly everyday. we came to the conclusion he had parasites, though ive always been terrified something more serious was going on (i dont get listened to though).

as it turns out, i was right. mom took him in today, the day before dixie was set to be put down, for his deworming pills. what she got instead was a diagnosis of possible lung cancer. his blood work was normal, which is unusual in animals with cancer, but he still had nodules on his lungs that highly resembled cancer. his heart was also severely enlarged due to heartworms, and his stomach was so distended because it was full of fluid and blood. they did send his blood off for labs, but even if his lungs were fine, he was going to die anyway (they got a second opinion from another practice and they also agree it was probably cancerous). he has a 15% survival rate for only the very first heartworm treatment, which will cost $500. nothing lives very long with an enlarged heart to begin with. we don’t have that money, and for a treatment that will definitely kill him? i dont even know why he has so much blood and fluid in his digestive tract. bean, a dog who is only 3 or 4 years old, has an enlarged heart, lung tumors and fluid/blood all in his abdomen. the vet was apparently stunned that a dog this young could have this many potentially (and one definitely) fatal health problem(s).

i now fully believe that whoever owned him before knew he had all these issues, or that he was going to develop them. i think it makes sense. i also think they’re cheap, cruel fucks who didnt want to shell out that much money to take care of him, or pay to take him to a shelter/sanctuary, and so what did they do? they did what many people these days very regularly do when their new pet has become undesirable: they fucking dumped him on the side of the road and booked it. took his nametag off and everything, to make him look like a stray. they left him for some well meaning, animal loving family like mine to find him, not know anything about these preexisting health issues, and assume he’s healthy enough; maybe just needs a few more vaccinations and a worm and flea treatment. he showed no signs of lung cancer or heart problems in all his life up until this past month, and he’s still so young. i will even go as far as to say that he himself may be severely inbred, which could be the cause of these health issues. given his specific posture and color, and that he’s a bulldog, it’d make sense. it seems like he came from some kind of breeder to begin with anyway.

so now that ive said that and got it all out of the way, i want to leave an open letter to the hypothetical cunt that did this to us and bean:

i hope god fucking strikes you down where you stand. i hope every single day of your miserable fucking life, you think about where he ended up, if he’s still alive, if anyone found him, if he ever got hit by a car or died alone of cancer and heart failure in a field somewhere. i hope you feel guilt for leaving him knowing he’d develop cancer and that he had heart worms, and knowing you did it BECAUSE of that. i hope you never fucking forget about the fact that you threw an INNOCENT LITTLE PUPPY out on the highway because you just didnt want to have anything to do with his illnesses, and i hope one day you find out what you did to us and this innocent little boy. he’s such a good fucking dog, he is so patient, kind, loving and gentle, and when he has bursts of energy to play he fucking goes, and now he has to die barely halfway through his lifespan because of your fucking negligence. he is laying outside on the porch right now, uncomfortable with fluids and blood backing up his intestines, coughing and huffing just to try and breathe. at the very least, if he were taken to the right shelter, he couldve been fucking cared for and given treatments to extend his life as much as possible, or at least given hospice care for however long he could live, which has now been shortened to 3 or 4 years. if you yourself knew this dog was inbred or you inbred him yourself, fuck you. i hope you get run over by a fucking truck. this breed can live from 12-16 years, that’s a LONG time for a dog like him, and you had to fucking ruin it all because of your own fucking preferences; you wanted the perfect dog. and you could’ve had him if you’d grown a fucking heart and actually gave a shit about animals beyond how they look aesthetically; as well, if you fucking actually gave a shit about your animals HEALTH and wanted to maintain it instead of apparently assuming he’d just be fine and healthy with all his vaccinations and that’d be the end of it. you do not deserve to own an animal if you dont even want to acknowledge it will sometimes need medical care, how fucking heartless are you? we never had enough money to take care of dixie’s failing health, and we always knew it’d be better to put her down, but my stepdad kept refusing. you had enough money to fucking breed or buy a blue show-quality engam bulldog and you still wouldnt fucking care for him after you found out what problems he had. fuck you. eat shit and die. i hope you never find peace from the guilt of knowing you fucking killed what became our dog because you’re selfish. my mother is physically sick with grief. i am physically sick with grief. i feel so bad that it’s as if i have the fucking flu. i was trying to talk with my mother about this situation earlier and i had to rush to leave because i felt like i was about to throw up if i didnt. everyone in this house has cried so much today it’s disgusting.

the only thing good about this is that bean came along for dixie when she needed him most, and became her helper and provider, giving her company and being a literal post to lean on for when she couldnt see where she was going. they’re going over the rainbow bridge tomorrow morning together, and in a way, this is probably the best outcome. at least bean wont have to grieve. dixie can see her old companion again (who died from a ruptured tumor in 2014) and bean can meet him, and they can all play and be together in that field in the sky.

my family will never have another dog again because of this pain this has caused us.

#personal #probably dont delete this #dont open this if youre sensitive to animal cruelty and death please #and vulgar descriptions of internal illness in dogs #and emetophobia #dont rb

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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hi aria <3 (i just noticed “love letters only” LMAO well good thing this is one of those 😌) it’s lovely anon, sorry for being a shit friend lol but here’s everything i’ve had drafted to send you (well not everything! that would be a lot HAHA)

this is more recent but: can’t wait for the blurb!! (you said it was a blurb right? i can’t find it on your blog now but it was something hdgshs) and the squeaky sneakers 😭😭 stoppppp i can’t

about your theme and your pants lmao:

aw come on i bet ur theme will look great :) aND IM HAPPY ABOUT YOUR TROUSERS LOL but i’ve really been up to nothing? WAIT THATS A LIE- so school ended (yay!!) and ya know i’m still dancing bUT i didn’t go to rehearsal last night (the 27th) bc i hurt my back :/ long story short i was at my brothers football game and they won (like for the first time lol) and i got really excited, i jumped and when i landed (which was on two feet!) my back immediately hurt. i’m okay though!! i went to the doctor and they said it’s just a backache, take it easy, don’t go to dance until next week so yeah :)

update!!! i went to dance last night (the 3rd), almost had an anxiety attack because the it’s the sECOND TO LAST REHEARSAL UNTIL THE SHOW AND I FEEL LIKE IM STILL LOOKING LIKE SHIT 🙃 but my teachers are really nice and they told me i look goooodddd and it’s fineeee so it calmed me down a bit :)

i’m still singing too, i’m in this group which i hate lol but my mom unfortunately said i should finish it out, 1) bc my younger brother is in it and he’s really excited about it which ya know yea i get it, and i don’t mind, 2) bc she paid for it 😭😭 but yeah i can’t wait until that’s over!!

clearly i am very nervous about everything haha anyway, i’m gonna be active more though . i miss talking to you, like a lot lol & i feel like it doesn’t come through BC IM NEVER ACTIVE 😭 but i think you’re the coolest person and whenever i see you post or reblog i’m like ARIA!!! so. love u girl, expect me to blow up your ask box and make u sick of me 🙃 (kidding lol, also i’ve been using that emoji a lot recently..)

ALSO ONE OTHER THING THAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU: there was a thing you reblogged AGES AGO and it was about kids who want their parents to get divorced lmao and how they’re awesome. anyway THANKS HAAH, this is probably so random, but anyway i’ve given you like bits and pieces of my home life but i can’t wait for my mom and dad to split up lol like honESTLY WAITING FOR IT

god this makes me sound bored, lonely, and depressed. #lonely anon is really coming through huh. but how’ve you been? just tell me all about it, clearly i’m doing nothing so <3

Snsjsh i forgot to post the blurb (idk if i should call it a blurb or not tbh?) lmao i got nervous and saved it to my drafts even though i had it scheduled for 45 mins ago </3 but i’ll post it after i respond to this ask (idk why but i was so excited reading your ask dksjmm <333)

Omg no need to apologise!!! Also you can literally send me everything and anything you want i’ll always be excited every time lmaoo even if it’s a lot, that’s even better!!!!

I was about to say get well soon but you said you had your rehearsal so that means your back is better i assume (and hope) which is amazing ❤️ (also congrats to your brother <3 i died when you said it was the first time they won aufisjssjk)

GOOD LUCK (even though you don‘t need it 😌 i‘m with your teachers on this one!) FOR YOUR SHOW I KNOW YOURE GONNA BE AMAZING AAAHH💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Oh also i realised i dont even know what type of dance you do?

Not the singing group thingjfjhh😩 But yeah like your mom said it‘ll probably be amazing for your brother! And idk which one you‘re talking about so idk how old he is but i‘m sure in the future he‘ll be grateful and think it‘s cool that you got to do it together 🥺!!!! but also it‘ll probably be over soo quick and you‘ll be like oh that was quick so. (What was that Sentence dkdjdjjd)

I get that you‘re nervous tho :( but i hope it‘s not a constant state of anxiety and maybe you can change it into being excited about it (isn‘t that what Tom always says? I don‘t find it very helpful 💀 but maybe you do <3)

Dkdkdkdk the parent thing 😭 my parents used to argue alllllllll the time and i‘d like cry in my room every night lmao (is this too personal? lnaodjdkd i mean i feel comfortable with you so idc) and my mom/mum (lol) still says why did i marry your father? at least once a week and I know she MEANS it too but💀 i mean idk what exactly your situation is but i know everything‘ll turn out the best way possible (yk on a long term basis) and maybe you‘ll get two Christmases so that‘s good difkldndns

Okay what‘s new with me.... nothing lmao. I think i‘ll get my driver‘s license soon like i was supposed to have my test in june but that‘s probably not happening so i hope my test will be during the beginning of july because mid/late july i have exams and that‘s already enough stress :( (also i feel like i‘ve been talking about my driving for like six months and still don‘t have my license eldjdkdj (or is it licence???? I think license is the verb but idk) BUT! that‘s just because i didn‘t have any lessons between december and march? because of covid and i‘ve been just waiting to get a test date since april 😭 but because of covid everything is taking so long and yeah </3

Talking about driver‘s license (🥴) i have finally listened to more olivia rodrigo songs and i reallly dont like the sad ones bc they give me anxiety tbh (but most sad songs do so), but i like brutal and jealousy, jealousy (or is it called jealous, jealous? Idk). I have no idea if you even like her but i remember how you said deja vu was good so maybe you like her?

Also I‘m getting my first covid vaccine next week (i know the US is way ahead of us lol but I’m getting mine very early like most of my friends couldn‘t get theirs yet so) BUT i‘m scared that i have covid 😭😭 i went to a friend‘s house the other day and she was gonna walk me home but then we met people from some of her uni courses and i didn‘t mind them (don’t know how i managed that without an anxiety attack tbh) but we were very close and i accidentally hugged one of them dkdkdjdj (accidentally because i forgot covid exists) andddd i‘ve had a cough for a few days but i‘m probably (most likely) just paranoid. also idk if i should cancel my driving lesson which is friday (one day after my jab)(is the word jab a british thing? my (british) grandparents keep saying jab)

Uni has been a bit boring to be honest shdldhsldh but i guess boring is better than hard? not much to talk about theresjdkdkd

Snsnsjsh well i hope you‘re doing well otherwise and i know you‘ll slay your performance and the singing thing will be over soo quick so yeah. you can always come to my inbox (even with non love letters (tbh i thought i‘d changed that to just say letter box dudlfhdkdk)) 💘💘💘💘 love youuuuuu

#lovely anon #<3

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