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zosonils-art · 3 years

Link

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Relationship: Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn

Characters: Ferb Fletcher, Phineas Flynn, Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Linda Flynn-Fletcher

Additional Tags: Autistic Ferb, Autistic Phineas, autistic phineas is more implied and could also be taken as adhd but he has both anyway so, Autistic Meltdown, Autism, Sensory Overload, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Illustrations, Canon Continuation, Fix-It of Sorts, i think????? i don't frequent this goddamn website i don't know, Brotherly Love, Crying, some of the crying is me

Summary: A stressful day pushes Ferb past his breaking point, and Phineas feels that he has a responsibility to set things right. Takes place immediately after Ready For The Bettys. Was supposed to be a simple continuation fic but got wildly out of hand. Ph*n*rb shippers fuck off this isn't for you.

---

as you’ve probably figured out if you’re following my main, i recently wrote my first fic since i was about 13! it’s available on ao3 at the link above, but you can also read it on tumblr by clicking the readmore on this post! i put a lot of effort into this and it took a lot of courage to post, so feedback is greatly appreciated!

"Mom! Guess what Ferb did!"

Phineas bursts into the kitchen energetically, still buzzing with adrenaline from the day's adventure. Ferb follows a step or two behind. Linda turns her attention from the freshly baked pie in her hands to her sons, although Phineas is too beside himself with excitement to consider whether or not she's paying attention. "He made a secret tunnel, and a spy headquarters, and a villain's lair, and a hover jet shaped like Perry- tell her, Ferb!"

Ferb doesn't match Phineas' enthusiasm. In fact, at the moment, he's sick to death of it. He prepares to launch into the explanation he's been trying all day to give. "Actually, I-"

"Wait a second," Linda interrupts, eyeing the boys with suspicion. "Why are you two soaking wet?"

The interruption is just too much for Ferb. He doesn't even process the question, just lets out a harsh shout of frustration. Phineas recoils - Ferb almost never shouts. "I give UP!" Ferb yells, his voice shaking on the last syllable, and before either of his surprised family members can respond, he turns around and storms off, his destination betrayed by the distinct clunking rhythm of stairs being stomped on too hard and the sound of a door slamming upstairs.

For a moment, the kitchen is silent. Linda recovers before Phineas does, her eyes narrowing in disapproval. "Young man, that is not how we talk to each other in this house!" she calls, setting the pie tin and her oven mitts down on the kitchen counter and following Ferb's path to his room. Before she can make it to the doorway, though, her progress is halted.

"Mom, wait!" Phineas pleads. He's finally caught onto what's been going on all day, and although he's still only half processed it, he knows he doesn't want Ferb to be in trouble for it. He frantically tugs on Linda's arm to draw her attention. Once he's sure that she's stopped, he withdraws his hand (he's still wet, after all, he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable), but sidesteps around her to put his tiny body firmly between her and the doorway to the living room. "Mom, please don't be mad at Ferb, it- it's not his fault! I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, he's just..." Phineas' voice trails off briefly, but he forces it back into action, complete with the most serious expression he can manage. "If you're gonna be mad at either of us, it should be me, okay?"

At first, Linda returns Phineas' gaze with suspicion, then her face softens with realisation. She crouches down to her son's eye level, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Phineas, did something else happen today?" she asks, the anger gone from her voice.

Phineas hesitates, dropping eye contact again. He's almost certain about the cause of Ferb's outburst, and he can't help but mentally beat himself up for it to a degree. "Well, Ferb's been trying to tell me something all day, but he kept getting interrupted by our spy mission, and I guess it must have been really frustrating because he hates being interrupted but I didn't realise and-" he pauses to breathe, and shudders as he inhales as if on the verge of tears - "and I should have asked at some point but I just kept getting distracted and I didn't even realise how upset it was making him but-"

"Phineas," Linda says gently, and he gladly accepts the invitation to cut his rambling short. His breathing is shaky, but he doesn't cry just yet, even though his emotional state has nosedived in barely a minute. After giving him a moment to snap back into focus, Linda continues. "Phineas, honey, it sounds like this has just been a misunderstanding. On my end, too," she adds, regretting having snapped at Ferb earlier. Phineas nods with a nondescript mumble of agreement. Although he still obviously isn't looking, Linda gives him a reassuring smile anyway, accompanied by a gentle squeeze of his shoulder. "Thank you for telling the truth, sweetheart," she praises him.

"Mmh," Phineas mumbles, tugging at his shirt collar. He tends to fiddle with his shirt when he's nervous or overexcited. It doesn't hold a candle to bouncing his leg or flapping his hands, as far as stimming goes, but it's a lot easier to do while someone is touching you. "I just should've realised what was up earlier, then he probably wouldn't have freaked out..."

He finally glances up again, and the look his mom is giving him tells him that he should drop the argument, so he stops. Linda ruffles his hair affectionately, leaning forward to reach all the way behind Phineas' oddly-shaped head, and flinches at the unpleasant reminder of how waterlogged he still is. She stands up, flicking her hand dry. "I'm sure he knows you didn't mean to hurt his feelings," she reassures Phineas. "Why don't you dry yourself off and then go talk to him? Which reminds me," Linda motions towards the puddles tracked all over the kitchen floor, "why are you two so wet?"

"Oh, we fell in Isabella's pool," Phineas answers matter-of-factly. He isn't quite back to his usual blindingly sunny disposition, but the panicky tremble in his voice has at least disappeared.

Linda smiles, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Well, that I believe," she says. She'd tactfully decided not to comment on whatever that secret spy headquarters spiel was that Phineas had been getting worked up over, but she suspects his latest imaginary game took the boys to Isabella's backyard and ended up having some real-life consequences. "Oh, hi, Perry," she adds, as the platypus in question waddles into the kitchen.

Perry responds with his familiar chatter. Phineas leans down to pet Perry on the head. "At least you've had a stress-free day, huh," he says, then leaves for the bathroom. Perry stares at him blankly.

---

Ferb is having a meltdown.

He knows what this is, of course. He reads every textbook and blog post on the subject he can find, just in case it helps him make some more sense of himself. If he misses one, Phineas will no doubt have found and memorised it himself for the same reason, and will gladly rattle off anything new. Knowing why there's a raging storm beating at the inside of his head, however, is entirely different from quelling it. By the time he reaches his bedroom, he's trembling so violently that he can barely stand. He stumbles to his bed, pushing his hands down into the mattress to keep himself on his feet.

It's like feeling every feeling from every second of the day all in the same moment, and it hurts. So much is happening in his head that he can't even isolate a single thought, let alone process what it means. Is he angry? That'd make sense, sure, but his mental state isn't exactly conducive to deductive reasoning at the moment. Is he sad? Scared? Something else entirely?? He can't tell what emotion or mixture thereof it is, only that it's hurting his head, and he wants to get it out but he doesn't know how. He's struggling to breathe now, his arms shaking with the effort of keeping his body supported, and as he draws in a desperate shuddering breath Ferb feels something wet in his eye and then on his face, and he remembers that his entire body is wet and he hates it. It's cold, and his hair is sticking to his face and uncomfortably close to his eyes, and his clothes cling to his body oppressively and he wants to tear them off and stop feeling everything. Instead of doing that, he forces himself to breathe in again and looks around the room frantically, hoping to find something other than absolutely everything to concentrate on.

His eyes land on Phineas' bed, and although his vision is blurring as the panicky tears pour down his face, he recognises the shape instantly. Is he mad at Phineas? Should he be? He should be, right? If Phineas had just stopped to listen to him for once, he wouldn't be here with the world ending inside his brain. Another violent wave of emotion sends a shock through his whole body, and Ferb is still in no state to identify it, but he gets the message. He doesn't want to be angry. Not at Phineas. In fact, he doesn't want to feel anything he's feeling at the moment. Not the turbulent assault of everything inside his head, not the hammering rhythm of his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest, not every tiny thing that touches his skin or the light from outside that still feels blinding through the curtains or the muffled sounds of conversation downstairs that he doesn't have room in his brain to translate into anything but more noise.

Sensory overload is another term Ferb knows, and it's another one that doesn't really help to know in the moment. The feeling of anxiety that's been growing in his chest since that morning finally becomes too much for his body to handle, and he collapses on his bed, weakly gripping the blanket for support. Burying his face in his covers blocks out most of the sunlight, at least, but it doesn't significantly improve his mood. He shivers, partly from cold thanks to still being uncomfortably wet, partly from the sobs making his whole body convulse. (When did those start? He doesn't remember.) He uses the last of his physical strength to pull himself fully onto his bed and curl into himself, trying desperately to calm himself down.

...

It's not working. Why isn't it working?? It's as if every effort to steady his breathing just makes him cry harder, every attempt at a calming thought being shattered into a thousand anxious ones by the merciless torrent of everything whirling around in his mind. Ferb is suddenly hyper-aware of how empty the room around him is, and it makes him feel helpless. It's the first feeling he's managed to connect a name to with absolute certainty this whole time, and it's terrifying.

If he was making any noise before in his attempts to control his breathing, he's stopped now. No sound escapes him as he lies in place, too preoccupied with the overwhelming barrage of thoughts in his brain to move. More than anything, Ferb wants his brain to just shut off. Everything in his mind blends into a horrible white noise that won't stop, threatening to drown him in static.

Through the raging mental cyclone, he just barely hears the knock at the door.

Phineas waits a moment before entering his room. He wants to make sure Ferb has time to process that he's here. A few seconds pass, then he opens the door slowly so that it doesn't make any sound. A stab of guilt hits him when he sees Ferb curled up on his bed, visibly distressed. He's facing the opposite wall, but the way he shudders as he breathes makes it obvious that he's crying. Phineas feels his heart sink. He'd really hoped it wouldn't be this bad.

"Hey," he says softly. Ferb grips himself tighter. Just a minute ago, Phineas would have been the last person he wanted to see, but now his desperation for comfort outweighs any lingering hints of animosity. He doesn't object to his brother's presence, so Phineas gently closes the door and walks over to his side of the room. He sits on the bed, watching Ferb to see if he reacts negatively to the shift in weight distribution, and tenses up slightly at how damp the blanket is. Of course, Ferb wouldn't have stopped to dry off on his way up here. A closer look confirms that while a lot of the water on his body has run off and soaked into his bed, Ferb is still almost as wet as he was when he arrived home. Phineas frowns - that can't be comfortable, and it's probably making him feel even worse. "Are you okay?" he asks.

Ferb curls into himself even more instead of asking. The question is so frustratingly rhetorical that he almost reconsiders the possibility of being angry, but the idea still scares him, so the feeling passes. Fortunately, Phineas understands the unspoken 'obviously not' with no further input, and continues to talk. "I'm really sorry about today," he begins. "I know you don't like being interrupted, and I should've realised that it was making you feel bad but I just wasn't paying enough attention and- and I'm sorry, because it's kinda my fault you got so upset," he apologises, not realising that he's holding back tears until he stops to breathe. He wills himself not to cry. He's here to try and make Ferb feel better, not guilt him into forgiveness.

It takes a second or two for Ferb to process what Phineas is saying. It's a struggle to drag the words through the confusing whirlwind of everything still rampaging through his head. Eventually, after a great deal of mental effort, he shakes his head in response. Perhaps he was angry before, he still can't tell, but he definitely isn't now. He can't manage anything beyond the simple gesture, but it's not the first time he's been utterly uncommunicative, so Phineas understands the meaning as well as he needs to: it's not your fault.

"Th-thanks," he stutters, although Ferb's acceptance does little to settle the crushing feeling of responsibility. "Next time you can speak I'll let you tell me whatever it is you needed to, okay? I promise." He smiles a little. "No more secret agent business to interrupt you."

The last sentence sure prompts a reaction from Ferb - he rolls over so that his face is entirely buried in the blanket and makes a frustrated noise without opening his mouth, his body shaking with some mixture of anger and physical strain. Phineas inhales sharply and recoils, no more prepared for an audible outburst from Ferb than the first time. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, already speed-testing possible answers in his head. "Did you not have fun today? Of- of course you didn't, that's why you're upset, but I thought you did a great job on the spy mission! It was really cool." He's trying to be reassuring, but Ferb just shakes harder, seemingly becoming more aggravated rather than less.

Phineas tilts his head in confusion. "Ferb? Ferb, it's okay, I-I'm sorry. Did... did it not go the way you planned?" he guesses, searching increasingly frantically for any change in Ferb's body language. "Hmm... oh, were you not finished building it yet?" He thinks back to Ferb's numerous attempts at speaking to him throughout the day, hoping that he'll find some clue that makes everything fall into place - and something clicks in his brain. He deflates a little at how painfully obvious the realisation seems in retrospect, with a soft "Oh." Sighing at his own ignorance, he directs his voice to Ferb again as he says, "You didn't actually build all that, did you?"

Ferb sits up slowly and turns to Phineas with his signature deadpan glare, the silent, biting sarcasm undermined significantly by the tears still falling from his eyes. Phineas hums concernedly. "Is that what you were trying to tell me?" he asks. Ferb gets partway through rolling his eyes before giving up and returning to the fetal position.

Phineas sighs sadly. He hates seeing his brother cry. There's nothing he wants to do more than pull him into the tightest hug he can manage, but he knows Ferb won't appreciate being touched in this state, so he opts to fiddle with his shirt again to keep his hands busy. "Who do you think did build that stuff?" he asks. Ferb doesn't care. On any other day, a secret spy lair being hidden under his house would be cause for immeasurable excitement, but after the day's events he's thoroughly sick of thinking about the subject. Phineas picks up on Ferb's antipathy towards the question and, sensing that it might be a sore topic for some time, decides not to bring it up again for a while. He'll satisfy his curiosity sometime when it doesn't come at the expense of Ferb's comfort.

An uncomfortable silence falls over the boys. It's broken when Ferb suddenly sniffles loud enough to make Phineas jump, sits up again, and halfheartedly tries to wipe the tears from his face. "Oh geez, hold on," Phineas says, leaning over to rummage through his short pockets. He eventually pulls out a wad of tissues, somehow unaffected by the earlier impromptu dive into Isabella's pool. He offers them with a gentle "here you go" to Ferb, who takes a few silently and scrubs at his eyes.

While he still doesn't feel good by any stretch of the definition, Ferb at least doesn't feel completely awful anymore. What was once a violent hurricane in his mind has receded enough that he can focus on the world around him without breaking down, at least for the time being, and he's left feeling just drained. He balls up his handful of tissues and tosses them at the bin under his desk. The ball makes it to Phineas' leg before unceremoniously bouncing to a stop. Phineas picks it up and throws it the rest of the way to the trash, standing up to do so.

Rather than sit down again, he kneels down and pulls out one of the drawers conveniently built into the bed. Ferb watches inquisitively, still too out of it to immediately catch onto what's happening. Phineas rummages a little before finally pulling out a pair of pyjamas, suggesting, "You should dry off and change your clothes." He pauses to think. "Can you make it downstairs to the bathroom by yourself?" he asks. At any other time, it would be a silly question, but Ferb is always exhausted after a meltdown. The visible effort it's taking him just to stay upright isn't lost on Phineas. Ferb ponders the question, then gives a tentative nod. He's definitely shaky, but he really wants to change into something dry.

"Great!" Phineas smiles encouragingly. "Should I bring the usual stuff to the living room? Your bed's probably not gonna feel comfortable until it dries out." Ferb glances down at the unmistakable damp silhouette of where he had been lying earlier and nods again, more confidently. He slowly gets to his feet, first pushing against his bed for support, then grasping the hand Phineas offers him. He lets go once he's certain he's regained his balance, and only then does Phineas hand him his pyjamas. "I'll come meet you downstairs, okay?" Phineas says. Then, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, which is still a bit soggy despite his best efforts to towel it off, he adds, "I should probably change into something dry as well."

---

Ferb rubs his eyes as he comes out of the bathroom, his drenched clothes swapped out for his much more comfortable pyjamas. He's stopped crying, it seems, but he's still feeling sensitive enough that the light from outside bothers him. He's relieved to discover that it's much darker in the living room - Phineas must have been here already. The curtains are drawn so that the lamp on the end table is the only light source in the room, softly illuminating its surroundings with a pleasant warm glow. He doesn't have the energy to analyse the entire room, even in these far more bearable conditions, but his attention is drawn to his favourite weighted blanket folded neatly on the couch. He sits down and drags the blanket over him, struggling a bit with the weight, but relaxing once he feels its reassuring pressure on his legs.

It's as he's settling into his position on the couch that Phineas enters with an "Oh, there you are, Ferb!". Perry is firmly but comfortably wedged under one of his arms, like a fuzzy teal football or loaf of bread, and seems altogether unbothered by his position. Ferb gasps quietly at the sight of Perry, his eyes brightening momentarily, and reaches out for him with various soft noises of urgency. Phineas wastes no time in setting Perry down next to Ferb, and the platypus reacts with a gentle, almost soothing chatter. Ferb instinctively mimicks the sound under his breath, and Perry responds with a nearly identical noise. Ferb echoes it again, slightly louder this time, and his face lights up with a weak smile, the first one he's managed all day.

Taking this as a sign of progress, Phineas sighs with relief as he sits on the sofa. He makes sure to maintain a respectful distance from Ferb, who's running a hand through Perry's fur as they echo the same low growling noise back at each other. (It pains Phineas not to join in, but he senses the two have gotten themselves into a groove that would be rude to interrupt.) Ferb's smile fades almost as soon as it appears, but he seems much more relaxed after the change in clothes and scenery. His hair is sticking up in every direction from being towelled dry, and Phineas stifles a laugh at how silly it looks. The back-and-forth chattering eventually dies down, and it's only then that Phineas continues. "Mom's gonna make you some tea, and she says if you aren't feeling better by dinner you can eat in here if you want," he says. Ferb turns to him and raises a thumbs-up briefly before returning his hand and focus to Perry.

Phineas quietly watches his brother for a moment before speaking again. "Do you want me to stay?" he asks. Exactly how sociable Ferb is while he's coming out of a meltdown varies. He almost invariably needs some time on his own to mentally reset, but sometimes it helps if someone he trusts is there to reassure him for a while first. In Phineas' experience, asking is always the best way to tell.

Ferb hesitates for a second, then surprises both of them with his answer, which is to turn and collapse into Phineas' lap with one arm hooked over his legs in a sort of pseudo-hug. Phineas tenses up, not sure how to react. He cautiously puts an arm around Ferb, in a comforting gesture that doesn't fully subject him to the overwhelming sensory experience of a true hug. Ferb doesn't fight it, just repositions himself so that he's lying down with Phineas as a makeshift pillow and sinks further into the gentle embrace. Phineas laughs softly. "Okay, I guess you do."

This is nice, Ferb thinks. Definitely an improvement over violently sobbing alone in his room. Perry must be feeling relaxed too, because he climbs onto Ferb's stomach, circles a few times, lets out one more chatter, then flops down and goes to sleep, purring gently. Phineas giggles at the platypus' behaviour, and Ferb's shoulders shake in silent laughter - his blanket absorbs enough of the sensation that it just tickles. Watching Perry doze off reminds him that he's still exhausted, despite the positive change in environment, and his attempt to stifle a yawn fails. He's still on high alert, and he knows he won't be sleeping for longer than a few minutes until the emotional clutter completely drains from his mind. With that said, both the blanket and Perry weighing down on him make for a pretty cosy combination, and he finds himself fighting to keep his eyes open. Maybe just a moment of rest will be good for him.

Before he knows it, his eyes are closed, and he's powerless to prevent himself from drifting off. Phineas accepts his new career as a pillow without comment, simply adjusting his right hand so that both his arms are positioned protectively around his brother. Being trapped in place for the time being doesn't worry him. Ferb won't mind being stirred awake when their mom arrives with his tea, and until then Phineas can easily occupy himself with thoughts of what to do tomorrow. Besides, he can subject himself to a few minutes of quiet if that's what Ferb needs. What kind of a brother would he be if he couldn't, right?

Ferb half-consciously brings a hand to Phineas' wrist, as if it'll float off if he isn't holding on. He can feel his brain shutting down, and he welcomes the change. The last thing he's aware of before his consciousness finally leaves him in peace for a moment is the sound of Phineas' voice, promising him, "You're gonna be okay."

#zos writes #phineas and ferb #ferb fletcher #phineas flynn #won't tag perry or linda since they're side characters basically #anyway please for the love of god reblog this. links don't show up in tags so literally the only way people will see this is reblogs #i'm serious about the fuck off too if ph*n*rbs even LOOK at this post i will stomp you to death with my hooves

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archangelsunited · 3 years

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WIP Ask Game: Asoue- Soulmates/Fix-it?

Well, this is part of something I guess

It was going to be awkward. The talk was always going to be slightly awkward. Monty had been giving the talk to people for years. It seemed to be a consistent part of his life. He had it down to a science. It was almost bloodlessly simple these days to ignore the awkwardness in the air while he talked to a prospective partner or “concerned” friend.

It wasn’t a bit different with a soulmate.

The tall gangly man, who was a bit too young, not underage, just young, was standing at his doorstep like he was not rocking the foundations of Monty’s world. The sun was rising behind him, giving him a rich glow around him. The handshake that was meant to be quick, but professional, turned into a fierce clutch on both sides.

The young man, Gustav, looked excited. He had a wide grin, teeth gleaming. Happiness seemed to radiate off of him in waves. He was nearly vibrating with how pleased to meet Monty, not his new boss, but Monty his soulmate.

The bond though, the bond let Monty feel how happy Gustav was to find him. How lucky Gustav felt. Monty felt a wave of fierce protectiveness come out of nowhere. A sense of rightness and a sense of well-being.

This, this is my compliment.

A screech of an iguana jolted Monty and Gustav out of their mutual stand still. They let go of each other’s hands with a bit of an effort. Monty shoved his hands in his pockets, while Gustav laughed and rubbed the back of his head. The laugh was so wonderful, so happy, that it forced a chuckle out of Monty as well.

Monty gestured into his house, letting Gustav drag in a beat up suitcase into the foyer.

“I would understand if you wanted to stop and speak and discuss this extraordinary occurrence, but I have many reptiles and the day only has so many hours! Perhaps we can get to work and have the discussion with some take out Chinese tonight?” Monty spoke quickly, with a grin on his face. With Gustav’s agreement, Monty lead him to the reptile room.

Monty was prepared to keep Gustav as an assistant even if he was the most incompetent fool on the planet. What he was not prepared for was the intense focus and pointed questions on his work and the reptile and amphibian upkeep. He was considerate of his work. Gustav admitted he did not understand all of Monty’s work, but he was eager to learn and to assist. Monty laid out the duties and expectations he had for an assistant, and Gustav accepted them eagerly.

By the time they both sat down for Chinese, Monty had forgotten about the talk and the awkward air that existed during talks in the past. He was just rolling in a sense of happiness and contentment, very willing to exist in this time, in this moment, forever.

Which was why it was a surprise when Gustav brought it up first.

“We should probably go over expectations and what we want out of this relationship.” Gustav stated, looking down at his eggroll. Monty could feel the uncertainty and determination through the bond. Monty leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together over his stomach. He let Gustav feel how seriously and respectfully he was taking the conversation.

Gustav swallowed and looked up at Monty.

“Are there any limits I should be aware of in the relationship?”

Ah, Monty thought, he had heard. Monty was slightly impressed. He would think that Gustav wouldn’t be as excited to be his soulmate if he knew.

“I am not sexually attracted to other people.” Monty smiled. “But I take it you already knew that?”

Gustav nodded, a bit embarrassed. He pressed on though.

“I don’t really understand, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I am very tactile?” Gustav sort of stammered out.

Monty saw where the misunderstanding was.

“I am very amiable to affectionate touching.” A huge sigh of relief seemed to burst through Gustav. “I, myself, show affection through hugs and the squeezing of shoulders and other such physical affirmations, it is touch meant for sexual gratification I am not fond of. I take it affectionate touching is your main mode of communication?”

Gustav nodded.

Monty tilted his head. He felt along the bond. It was not as elegant as he would one day examine it. Monty did the mental equivalent of a two year old walking on a balance beam. He felt Gustav’s pride and his determination. Monty was surprised to find how devoted Gustav was to a relationship less than a day old. He was not seeking to change Monty, nor was he trying to push any boundaries. Monty felt an uncertainty, an internal debate occurring within Gustav.

“Be honest with me, Gustav.” Monty demanded quietly, “I am not going to judge you for what you ask.”

Gustav swallowed.

“I would like to know you- and I very much want this to be an equal relationship- but I need to know if you expect monogamy.” Gustav was quiet, seemingly ashamed.

Monty bristled a bit, and then slowly relaxed- pushing comfort along the bond.

“Are you worried I will not be enough?” Monty asked, swallowing his pride.

“NO!” Gustav nearly came out of his seat, grabbing Monty’s hand.

“I will very gladly never take a lover for the rest of my days.” Gustav swore. “But I need to know if that is an expectation. My parents were lovers, but not soulmates. My mother’s soulmate didn’t like touch at all. My father’s soulmate was married to another woman. Not everyone’s relationship with their soulmate looks the same.”

Monty relaxed a bit at the reassurance.

“Give me a moment to ponder this, please.” Monty linked his fingers with Gustav’s.

Monty closed his eyes and instead of feeling along the bond, he immersed himself in the bond. He let himself feel Gustav.

When he opened his eyes, he saw brown eyes staring very intently into his.

“I do not doubt you.” Monty said firmly, and he did not. How wonderful it was to know exactly what his soulmate felt and where his focus was. “I would appreciate it if you let us get used to each other before bringing another person into this. I have no issue with sexual encounters, but I would like to discuss anything greater than that.”

Gustav grinned at him.

#@prankprincess #soulmates #asoue #Dr. Montgomery Montgomery #gustav sebald

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doktorpeace · 7 years

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in Persona 5 for me it’s July 11th, meaning I’m exactly 3 months into the game. I’m going to assume I’m getting to about the third way point, both previous games lasted 9-10 months and I’ll assume this one will last until January on the end game Calendar. Here’s my thoughts so far, spoilers inside:

Well I’ve spent a clean 44 hours on the game already so there’s that. I haven’t even been fucking around a lot, I completed Madarame’s Palace in just the 3 required visits and I completely cleaned out Kaneshiro’s Palace in just one discounting Makoto’s joining visit and the re-visit to defeat the boss. I’m really digging the story so far, it feels well paced and everything’s progressing at a reasonable, steady rate but the tension keeps building. It also REALLY breaks tradition, but in ways I’m finding refreshing. I’ve already formed my Judgement Confidant in spite of being only a third(ish?) of the way into the game, and I’ve formed a Confidant relationship with someone I know WILL be a party member even when he’s not a party member yet. Though I don’t trust Akechi as far as I could throw him. I’ll have to play farther into the story to write a real feeling piece about it, I’ll probably do that once I complete the game. Igor’s got me scared though, and I really loved and trusted Igor wholly in the last two games. My social stats are progressing well, I’m at rank 4 on Knowledge, 3 on Guts (promoting to 4 soon I think), 3 on Charm, 2 on Kindness, and 2 on Proficiency (also promoting soon). I knew Knowledge and Guts would be the most important ones going in, they always are so I’ve given them a special priority. So far I love this game, it’s really stellar and it’ll be my game of the year for certain. Everything works really well, my sole complaint at this point is that one time I had a shadow not join me after giving two good answers to its questions during a negotiation and I wasn’t told why not, but whatever it’s fine. The dungeons are getting steadily tougher and I really like the variety in design approaches they take. Kaneshiro’s was incredibly long but could be done all at once if you had enough items and good enough pacing, Madarame’s required more involvement and opting into scripted events since you had to get stuff done in the real world as well, and given it was a tutorial dungeon Kamoshida’s was also good. Honestly the level design in the Palaces has all been really good and I’ve liked each more than the last by quite a bit. I even got unlucky with some Onis getting crits and hitting my whole party with Rampage near the beginning of my run through Kaneshiro’s Palace and I still made it through so I was pretty happy with that. The main plot and characters are very much enjoying that the game, while fairly lighthearted so far, takes itself seriously and handles its themes maturely. They don’t make jokes about serious things and they let things have the weight that they should. The Party Member’s social links going on lockdown if you advance them too fast to wait for another moment in the plot is also a great idea since it means they can build in some of the character’s development from the plot into the social link and vice versa. This, combined with how the social links each focus on them growing as a person from the issue that caused them to be socially outcast and ostracized in the first place gives it a more down to earth feel. The party members have noticeable growths of character and mindset in both components of the game’s writing side by side, and it’s good to see them finally address this issue the series had been having. Rather than being like Persona 4 and making each of them a HUGE LIFE CHANGING EVENT THAT HAS A MASSIVE EFFECT ON THEIR PERSONALITY but then that having no bearing on the plot so the whiplash of maturity is really immersion breaking, this game’s focus on a more personal push towards growth and change. Be it making amends for past mistakes like Ryuji, finding a new source of strength with Ann, or pushing forward and grasping his future in spite of his situation like Yusuke, they all have to deal directly with what caused them to become an outcast in the first place, and feel like strong bits of development that don’t completely change them as people. I personally like and relate to Makoto’s being about being more honest with oneself and living for you, and not for the expectations others have for you. This sense of giving situations the gravitas and seriousness they require extends to side social links as well, of which I’ve liked all the ones I’ve found. One that sticks out to me is Kawakami’s social link. She is your teacher and you happen to hire her through a maid service because Ryuji and Mishima are fucking dumbasses who want to see a hot maid do chores for them and the situation you find yourselves in is naturally a little sexually charged, something which the game does not ignore or distract from. It owns up to the awkwardness of the situation it sets up. As the social link progresses (without Ryuji and Mishima there) it even gives the player the option to try and hit on her in a sexual manner, but she turns you down on the grounds that A) You’re her student B) the age gap is gross and C) specifically sites it would make her no better than Kamoshida, who was your first target as the Phantom Thieves in no small part because he sexually harassed and in one case raped a student. The fact that the game doesn’t just walk the walk of saying ‘oh yeah sexually assaulting minors is bad’ which is obvious to anyone of decent moral standing, but further drives the point home and WON’T make an exception for you because you’re the player is very good and not something many games are willing to do. The variety of characters you encounter during social links is also nice, from a washed up politician genuinely trying to improve the world after learning from his mistakes, to the owner of a model weapon shop doing illicit business, to just the guy who runs the Phantom Thieves’ Forum they’ve all got a charm to them and feel well written. One that worried me initially was one where you meet a news reporter in a bar and the bar happens to be run by a drag queen. I was worried cause I had heard this content was transphobic, but seemingly that was a misunderstanding from someone playing the japanese version with less than a perfect understanding of the language. Lala Escargot as she goes by, is voiced by a man in both versions and is referred to with ‘-chan’ and female pronouns, however this is proper etiquette for drag queens while playing their stage persona. Further, Lala Escargot is shown to be of good moral standing and isn’t made out to be a joke, two things I was glad to see happen. This game’s schedule also feels good. Like I said, I’m about a third of the way in and I feel like I’ve been able to make comfortable growth with both social stats and social links, and I was worried about that because the game really railroads you a lot in the first two plot arcs, but it’s working out comfortably. Combat feels really good, while spell animations feel a tiny bit less flashy than previous games I’ve still only seen a handful of them, and the combat animations are all still really good. The balance is great, I feel challenged but not overwhelmed, but it is noticeably getting a lot harder with each main palace. Your Teammate’s in combat abilities they gain from social links are definitely nerfed compared to P4 or P3 Portable, but honestly that’s welcome in my opinion. In the previous games they were flat out overpowered and could carry you through the game. As is they feel like nice bonuses that happen just often enough you don’t forget they’re there, but not so often that they take away any feeling of depth or strategy, particularly in P4 where they were extremely ‘Win More’ mechanics. Particularly the ‘Save the main character from death once per battle’ is reduced to a chance, but can happen more than once per battle if you’re lucky, and requires the relationship be at rank 9 instead of rank 5. A hefty but welcomed nerf that doesn’t eliminate any feeling of danger. Oh also! The fact that your non-party member Confidants confer permanent benefits, some in combat, some out of combat is a GREAT incentive to level them up. I know that I’m focusing on Kawakami’s so hard because it frees up so many phases in the game, not having to waste my own time brewing coffee or doing laundry is a huge boon, plus 1 point in knowledge from lecture (assuming I get the answer right) can be exchanged for two lockpicks and two points in proficiency, or a book read and its bonuses which is a great bonus effect. Eventually she even gives you the ability to go out at night after going dungeon crawling which in and of itself is an ENORMOUS benefit. Finally, as for the party members it’s really cool the variety this party has and their variety of motivations. They’re a very fun group whose personalities work together dynamically an in a fun way, I know I still have 3 party members left to get, so we’ll see how they affect things. I’m just loving how much we get to see them all interact, between how many plot events there are and that there’s at least one text chatlog a day with everyone talking together, it gives you a ton of dialogue with them and time to see their party dynamic. Ryuji’s a good boy. I like him a lot, he reminds me a lot of myself in terms of behavior. His social link has been a little slow, but cute, and his date sequences when you aren’t actively going up ranks are also cool. One big improvement he has over Yosuke in particular is that after being hit on by a couple of gay guys he just expresses distaste for the situation and leaves it at that. He was uncomfortable with it, but he doesn’t hark on it and veer off into being a homophobic shitbag like Yosuke. But Atlas, blease let him be gay in the expansion I know you’re going to make. Let me date the vulgar boy he’s such a cute good boy. Really though his growth as a person is already tangible, he’s gone from feeling like a total outsider with nothing to work for and nothing to lose to being a fairly responsible guy who owns up to his mistakes. He’s still not smart but he’s grown enough that he’s the party member to remind the others to keep it calm and lay low after a major operation, which is a really cool role for him to play. Ann is fucking great, her force of personality and strength as a character is immediate right from the start. I was worried for her, but she’s an explosive character, a lot of facets to her personality and situation are revealed to you quickly and then elaborated on over the course of her social link and when you hang out with her or go on sunday dates together. She’s obviously a kind, strong individual but she questions her own genuinity and strength as a person, and is exploring different ways to broaden her horizons and improve. I was a little worried she’d be a generic spitfire angry girl, but really she’s only super pissed off at injustice and sexual harassment. A big part of her character comes from her staunch hatred and opposition ‘of men who treat women as sexual outlets’ (literally word for word something she says) and it’s a really strong, cool way for her to be. I’m very grateful for the game’s writing for having such a staunch, unmoving stance in opposition of treating women like objects especially in a series like Persona where fans have an extremely gross tendency to do just that. It’s a good lesson and message to put out there. In other cases she’s actually really level headed and willing to admit when she was wrong or when someone’s outplayed her. I like Ann a lot. Yusuke’s a really deep and interesting character who I sadly keep blowing off for Makoto and Ryuji, but I’ll hang out with him more soon. His circumstances are really fucking difficult, first of all he’s an orphan, which sucks. Secondly his adoptive father is abusive, which really sucks. Third off he’s autistic. Seriously, think on his dialogue and tell me I’m wrong. We directly get the line ‘not many people will deal with my eccentricities’ which is as close as Japanese media ever gets to saying ‘yes I’m autistic.’ His dialogue often hints to how people ostracize him for being autistic even though he’s a great guy and I’m sure it’ll come up in his social link in the future. I’m glad the game paints it as a negative thing for society to treat him bad and not that it’s bad he’s autistic, it’d be very easy to slip into that but they haven’t fucked up yet. And finally, he’s fuckin gay dude. Don’t fight me on this one, I know a gay when I see one. He specifically dodges the idea of being attracted to Ann ‘as a member of the opposite sex’ and the way he says it isn’t ‘oh I’m interesting in girls, just not Ann’ it’s much more ‘I’m not interested in girl, and thus not interested in Ann.’ He’s got a lot going against him, but unlike with Kanji nobody acts like it’s weird he isn’t attracted to Ann (though Ryuji will rib the player for saying the same thing) and everybody’s doing their best to be supportive of him. I’m excited to see more of his character and see how he overcomes the ways society is stacked against him. You can even take him on dates and he comments that it looks like you’re lovers. I hope he gets a nice boyfriend. (also atlus please make him a romance option in the expansion as well.) Finally Makoto is the character I’ve most been suspicious of how she fits in. She’s an honor student, lives in a nice house, has a sister in a high paying job, was born into a good family, what’s bad about her life? Well, she’s outcast from the average student because she’s ‘just a robot’ and she has these obscene expectations thrust upon her, yet people still call her useless. She has to constantly wear a face and be who people expect her to be and not who she really is. It’s a more subtle kind of outcasting and she certainly doesn’t face the negatives the other members do like being an orphan or having their best friend hospitalized after a suicide attempt, but she’s got her own set of issues which are playing out alongside these things. The game also doesn’t frame her situation as equally bad, it’s just a very stressful, difficult situation for her and she really needs an outlet and somewhere she can genuinely just be herself. The fact that her rebellion is just having a space to express herself normally in is kind of fucked up, she had a really suffocating life and now she doesn’t and I like that. Her Confidant relationship is also really fun so far, I like Makoto even if she’s not an outcast in as strong or the same kind of way as everyone else. I don’t have a lot to say about Morgana so far. I like him, he’s an enormous step up from Teddie, but I think I’ll only be able to write how I really feel about him once the game is over. All in all I fucking love this game and it’s a huge improvement over all of Atlus’ old products in all the ways I’d hope it would be. I’d still prefer there be a gay romance option in the game, but the fact that you can take guys on dates and that you have a gay party member who isn’t treated as weird for it is great. 10/10, my personal game of the year already.

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14 Choose The Clergy Shirts From Clergy Collar

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