#but it doesn't give me the euphoria/relief/comfort of just. not being gendered at all. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obeymesheep · 1 year

Note

Can you do one when MC comes out as transgender to all the Obey Me brothers? :]

of course <3

Transgender Mc

Lucifer Mammon Leviathan

You/your mc

Part 2 !Here!

I kept it more neutral as they never specified if they wanted something more gendered! but i hope you all enjoy anyway

Lucifer

He probably understands better than anyone, to change so quickly with everyone expecting certain things from him, is something he went through during his fall.

Luci helps the best he can though, need a really specific type of human clothing so you feel whole? He custom orders one to your measurements and enchants it with glamour and self love.

Depending on if you medically transition, he definitely massages scar cream into your skin and helps you through the process of healing, when you can't reach above your head without being in pain, when you clean your self without help, and when you can't change your self without struggling he will be there.

He will also understand how hard it can be to not medically transition, he knows the pressure and knows not wanting to scar your body or just being scared, he lets you know often how he supports you through anything and loves you unconditionally whatever body you're in <3

Mammon

Being a model in the demon fashion industry he's met tons like you, and knows how to ask important questions! What are your pronouns? How comfortable are you wearing certain types of clothes? Do you feel comfortable in this pose? I mean most trans people he meets are models and these are model orientated questions but still!

Definitely super respectful of your boundaries, he's clingy but wants to be clingy in a way that makes you feel comfortable! Even if he's only holding your hand!

If you medically transition, he's def gonna kiss your scars even if there just stretch marks! You think it's kinda corny but overall sweet <3 I think he would also work as a compression blanket, he likes to lay on top of you and just minor-ly suffocate you <3

Mammon is your ride or die, it doesn't matter what you look like to him! He will hundred percent kill anyone who thinks they can say shit! He's your first man after all, and nobody messes with his treasure!!

Leviathan

Understands how annoying it can be to have people judge you and is always there to comfort you and help you through the process!

Levi is probably the best person to go to for some relief of gender, he just doesn't really care about that kind of stuff, and when you're sick of people walking on eggshells around you his couch always has a spot for you!

OMG cosplay gender euphoria!! You pick out a character and Levi does the rest, he tailors the costume to best suit your body while still giving the desired effect, he does really great contour so your face is soooo gender, and by the end you look so good and euphoric! Levi just understands your body type!

He goes to pride anime events with you, you get to talk to people who would understand the most and people who like anime! He just follows you around like a puppy and a supportive boyfriend!!

#creams fluff #creams headcannons #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me levi

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mamacleo · 3 years

Text

There is a Queendom. There is a Queen.

I want to say something important. It explains things. It explains my intensity. This has nothing to do with the day to day rollercoasters. This is the big pattern. I don't think anyone else out there goes through this. Honestly, truly, I think i am alone. My situation is unique. It's so sweet and so tart. It's bitter, too.

Summer is ascendant at the same time the progesterone effect has grown to an astounding warmth. (I also have the blessing of cannabis. Essential to know.) At the same time the summer mood is ascendant, I have at last become in my heart the woman I am. I have learned to say "for now," but I hope it sticks around. I really do.

Because I now believe I am tied in with the seasons in a much deeper, much more intricate way. I am being shaped by the spirits and goddesses, and at this moment, everything is--my favorite word--consonant.

Everything agrees. I would think of myself at the same time as the word "woman," and feel a pang of doubt. Even though I have felt gender euphoria, it hits you. Now, I think of myself, an image of myself, and I think the word "woman," and my heart feels something new. It's a yearning. It's a love. It's a wholeness. It has a name, and that name is Claochlú Ruby Nich Murchadh (as of the handfasting). Everything is finally right.

For now.

Because two things. Because seasons. Because memory.

Because I am trapped in an annual cycle that seems beyond my capacity to break. Because the summer brings joy and bliss and comfort and relief and content. And the fall brings the winter terrors. I changed the name. That's what they are. They're terrors. Every year is new.

And, see, I see it coming. I can't not see it. It's in my nature. Please, no advice. I have worked at this with power and diligence for all my adult life without being able to break it. All I can do is endure it. I can't avoid it. All I can do is warn people.

Funny this now comes to me, but in barbecue terms, it's the silverskin. It's the connective tissue, that thin membrane of tough silvery stuff that turns leathery if it's not removed. Except this girl has been barbecued for forty years and that silverskin was never removed. It's there for good. Bolted down for life.

But for now, the days are long. The leaves are out. The sun comes out enough for the moment to give us the promise of a sweet season. My nature turns sweeter, more stable, more joyous, more adoring, more enthusiastic, more generous, more devoted, more energetic. Happier. And I get to have this beautiful, wonderful state until October. Every moment I live in this state, I want to capture forever. I get to be the best of who I am almost all the time. This time is so special, I try to let every moment take my breath away.

Because here's what makes this really ironic. Mom can't remember things.

Decades had to pass before I learned that the reasons I have a severely crappy memory aren't because of what I figured they were, but are a result of severe trauma. I didn't know how severe until my wife saw it. Knowing that doesn't help me recover the memories. I've tried every trick I can imagine. They're either buried or obliterated. I brainwashed myself so I wouldn't have to cope with them.

(FICKLE FINGER OF FATE MOMENT: at this moment, my music service has chosen to play Billy Joel's "Pressure.")

And that means I don't have continuous memories of anything. I can't remember conversations. I can't remember events on any scale. I have a good visual memory. I have a weird head for trivia. I have a good memory of things as they occur on a wide scale, but not personally. I remember emotions and the things attached that caused them. All my personal memories are snapshots, sound clips. Animated GIFs. All my memories are like that. It's the only way I remember now.

And that means that no matter how blessed this coming summer is, I won't remember it.

Not all of it. I'll remember it in snapshots. There'll be markers, points in time to remember. Some things burn into your memory forever. But no matter how I try, no matter how hard I look at that sunset, I won't remember it. The wind will bring me warm joy, and I'll remember how it felt, but never the moment. I'll know that moment existed because I remember the emotion from it, but the memory itself is gone.

Every moment, then, I am aware of those two things. They are the silverskin that stayed on while I walked through fire. I am aware that no matter how hard I want it not to be, I won't remember things no matter what they meant. I won't remember my hand on her cheek. I won't remember sitting under dappled skies. I won't remember the moments my bare feet were in the puddle. I'll remember the sensation. I'll remember that it happened. Maybe I'll remember other senses. But the moment itself is gone.

No matter how beautiful the moment is, I can't guarantee I'll remember it. Some I will. Maybe ten percent. Ten patchy percent. The rest is gone. Just gone. And that is what I have to clutch to so I can endure the coming winter.

There is never a waking moment I do not know this.

("Time in a Bottle.")

And that is why I am the way I am.

Alone.

#transgender #trans #trans woman #mental health #mental illness #for your sake i love the rain #bipolar #borderline #borderline personality problems #borderline depression #cluster b #autism

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