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#but i think the story they told in this ep has a lot of merit
likeshipsonthesea · 1 year
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the beauty of this episode for me is how buck imagined this “perfect” traditional family and even though he enjoyed it, it wasn’t the family he’s built with the 118.
buck didn’t pop out of his coma dream and then turn around and be like “okay time to make a traditional family out here,” he popped out of his coma dream and realized he already has all the love and support he could need from his found family at the 118. choosing to welcome his parents into his life wasn’t out of need or desperation for their approval or anything like that--it’s because he wants it.
you may not want it for him, you may want him to cut the buckleys out bc of what they did to him and maddie, and i get it. but he’s choosing to let them in, to have a relationship (not even parental really!! bc he already has maddie!! and bobby!! canonical parental figures!!!) bc it’s nice. yes, nice. sometimes it’s nice to pretend, it’s nice to get together at holidays and have the kids be excited about their grandparents, it’s nice to be able to get along long enough to make some nice memories.
buck is choosing to have a relationship, if a distant one, with his parents who will be going back to pennsylvania in a week because he knows he has his true, closest, loving family in LA.
chimney can recognize that in the buckleys, and he’s giving it a chance. not forgiving his dad, not saying outright “alright we can be a loving family,” he’s saying don’t go back to another continent right this second, stay a few more days. let’s test this out. he’s taking the chance to be happy, to have a nice extended family, bc he knows he doesn’t need it, but he wants to try. that’s the beauty of this episode for me.
choosing to try for a relationship with your family because you want to, not because they’re your only support system.
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ansbobcar · 3 months
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EP 3. Day One
WORD COUNT. 1179
Link to the overview
_ _ _ _ _
The rain had died down when they lit a few candles around the office, silence filled the room. They both continued to stand, eyes glued to the other, awaiting a response. For Orter Madl, who so far has only understood the idea of relationships to be romantic or sexual in nature, he wanted to clear some of his own suspicions. “Are you interested in me? You suggested it adamantly after all.”
The light made it difficult to see any hint of a crack in her calm facade. The 23 year old woman revealed that she was in a similar situation to him: “My mother’s concerned that I’ll be left alone in the world when she passes because of her standards. You’ll probably put her at ease though.”
“This is only my second year on the job,” unconvinced by her reasoning.
“But we work for the same department so it’s more believable that we’d run into each other. Plus you overtook my position, there’s some merit to that.”
“How did we begin this ‘relationship’ then?”
“Nothing extravagant. We had lunch together one time and I accidentally confessed my feelings pretty straightforwardly but you were hesitant because of our positions so…” she gestured for him to extend their make-believe story.
“... we kept it a secret for a few months incase the relationship failed,” he continued.
“But then your parents started to bother you about your relationship status and…”
“You got irritated and had a chat with me tonight on whether we should continue dating.”
“And clearly the answer is-”
“Yes but it’s now public.”
Kaldo instantly reappeared in front of the blonde woman, and gripped onto her shoulders with disbelief, “the Rinka I knew hates men!” Shocked by this revelation, clearly this wasn’t her he told himself. She hawked at this statement before she kicked his shin. “Says the person who RUINED MY FAVOURITE SNACK WITH HIS HONEY OBSESSION!!” He yelped a foot away from her at this response.
“That was years ago,” he hissed; “I thought we already left that behind.” She crossed her arms sceptically towards him. ‘I guess it never left her then,’ bruised by her attitude. “Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Kaldo faced them both.
“We were busy doing work, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal if we revealed it later.”
“Of course it’s a big deal! Rinka’s never ever accepted a confession before!”
“You think I confessed?” Orter adjusted his spectacles.
“You… didn’t?”
The blonde man slung his arms around their shoulders and pulled them close. “Let’s talk about this over some tea shall we? Rather than holding up the meeting coming up in a few minutes. Sophina’s gonna make you dump out your stock of honey you know?”
“R-right!”
Time passed with little discussion until the others arrived and began their monthly meeting. Things have been running rather smoothly within the other administrations and so on without addressing the empty seat beside Tsurara.
It’s such a shame, the cold sensitive teen thought raising her hand up.
“Yes, Tsurara?”
“The Magical Items Department just lost it’s head, how are we going to deal with it?” She voiced her concerns towards the others. “They have to do a lot already even when Alexa was still here,” slowly hiding her voice beneath her scarf. Orter hid his clenched fist in muted irritation from this.
The vice director began his response. “Thank you for your concern, Tsurara. The Magical Items Department is currently running with two acting heads of their own. It’s an understatement to say that her involvement didn’t help them in regards to their efficiency though. I would suggest either Sophina or Rinka to oversee them work monthly but I know you’re both busy as it is.”
“Then are you suggesting this year’s Divine Visionary to become the new head?” The Flame Cane pointed out. “I have no issues with the candidates this year, they’re all rather capable but it’s still a big responsibility to bear.”
The last topic of conversation surrounded the affairs of the Magical Items Department and how it would be lead in the near future. To spectate the event would occur in a few more months, higher expectations were set for the near future regarding the strengths of a Divine Visionary. 
Growth and potential must be considered. Although, it would be preferred with they were two-liners in this regard. With that, the room was emptied leaving the previous occupiers alone by themselves.
“How does lunch sound instead of tea?”
_ _ _
For regular employees at the Bureau of Magic, the presence of not just 1 but 4 Divine Visionaries walking by in the direction of the cafeteria sent not only a large amount of eyes ogling at them but also shivers down their spines. It wasn’t a common sight to see so many in a single moment unless it was the ending ceremony of the Final Divine Visionary Candidate Exam, otherwise known as the Trimagicathlon between the 3 magic schools.
But why was Kaldo Gehenna glaring at Orter Madl and vice versa?!
Ryoh: What do you guys want?
Orter: Anything goes
Rinka/Kaldo: Fish n’ Chips!
“2 Fish n’ Chips and a 2 Steak and chips,” he told the canteen staff who with lightning speed places their orders down and slid some coins at payment. “We’ll return the plates and cutleries within 3 hours,” he waved.
“Where are we eating then? I don’t want to have the food go cold,” Rinka took out her wand. “Your office,” he gestured towards the brunette. “No problem… Quatre Deplaces,” she chanted, flashily removing them from the canteen.
That was so cool!
Immediately, they reappeared in the Magical Power Administration’s Head Office and thus the interrogation began.
_ _ _
Ryoh Grantz understands that it isn’t his place to question the romantic life of his own colleagues but for Rinka Ontarin, who he had met at the start of his fatherhood, she was basically a daughter to him. Who wouldn’t want to know how their handsome daughter started dating? THIS IS JUSTIFIED QUESTIONING!!
“What do you see in this guy, Rinka?” The skilled swordsman started the round opening his jar of honey to pour into his cup of tea. Bluntly yet without violence. “I guess an otter?” She replied, completely missing the point of the question as she set aside the fish fillet. Otters are cute though in her opinion. By extension, that meant she thought he was cute? Everyone used to call him boring though. The blonde father chuckled at her miscomprehension. “Let me rephrase his question: What do you like about each other?”
“She’s honest, and has looked out for me when I took over her position,” he answered while she reached over to grab his chips. He sighed at the annoying sight and instead cut the steak and her fish in half and gave switched their positions. “You should eat more red meat instead of potatoes.”
And with that short interaction, they knew, these two were just idiots.
Idiots in love.
Fooled by the idiots successfully.
_ _ _ _ _
Lol. Quatre Deplaces is a random spell I came up with. It's a short-distance-y teleportation spell. the Quatre is there to signal the amount of people. It basically times the power required for the spell to work.
I'll probably update next week.
EXTRA WORDS: I screwed up the pacing really bad. It's okay. You'll be caught by the whims of my writer rage/delusions. I just finished writing episode 6. Can't wait for the fangirl/sasaeng episode.
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chicgeekgirl89 · 3 years
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Puzzles and Limes and Family Times
Fandom: 911 Lone Star
Characters: T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes
Summary: Parenting kids is tough. Growing up and parenting your parents is even harder. Luckily T.K. and Carlos have each other to help figure things out. A post-ep for 2x11 "Slow Burn." Thanks to @bluenet13 for the help with the spicy food stuff and for inspiring what will likely be a prequel. And for just generally always being a supportive friend! 
                                   XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“How about a book?” Carlos asked.
T.K. shook his head. “He has books. I want something different. Something that will really distract him.”
“I still think a couple DVD’s might do the trick,” Carlos told him. 
“He has every streaming service known to man. If he can’t find it on one of those, it’s probably not worth watching.”
“T.K. as nice as it is that you want to get your dad a gift for his surgery, maybe we should think about it a little more since you don’t seem to know what you want.”
They’d circled the aisles of Target more than once, T.K. turning down every one of Carlos’ suggestions. “I just want something that’s going to keep him busy,” T.K. said. “He’s terrible at sitting still. I’m afraid if we don’t do something he’ll try and run a half marathon three days after surgery and kill himself.”
“Babe I don’t think there’s anything in the world that’s going to keep your dad recovering the way you want,” Carlos said. “He’s kind of a strong willed guy.”
T.K. sighed and turned the cart into the next aisle. “I know. I know, I just have to at least try.” He paused and grabbed a box off the nearest shelf. “What about this?”
Carlos raised his eyebrows. “A puzzle? Your dad doesn’t strike me as someone with the patience for puzzles.”
“Exactly. Maybe this will help him learn some. And,” T.K. tapped the box for emphasis, “this one has dogs playing poker on it. He loves dogs and poker.”
“That is true,” Carlos said, keeping his tone even and his expression neutral.
T.K. shot him a look of fond exasperation. “I know you’re humoring me but I’m going to pretend that was genuine.”
“And now you can humor me by picking out new towels,” Carlos said with a grin.
T.K. groaned. “I thought we already picked new towels.”
“We picked new master bath towels. We need some to match the guest bath.” Carlos grabbed his hand, towing him along toward the home goods aisles. 
“I didn’t realize you were going to use my moving in as an excuse to redecorate the entire condo,” T.K. said.
“I want it to feel like our place.” Carlos stopped and picked up a washcloth. “How do we feel about cream?”
“I feel like towels are towels. Especially in the guest bath.”
Carlos rolled his eyes and moved further down the row. “We have guests coming next week. Everything needs to be perfect.”
“Speaking of which, are you sure you want to invite my dad to dinner with your parents?” T.K. asked as Carlos silently debated the merits of blue versus off-white towels. 
Carlos looked at him in surprise. “He’s your dad. Of course I want him there.”
“It’s just…he can be…a lot sometimes,” T.K. said. 
Carlos raised his eyebrows and T.K. held up a finger in warning. “If you say I’m also a lot sometimes I’m taking the keys and leaving you here to Uber home.”
His boyfriend smiled and turned back to the towels. “My parents want to meet him. And your dad is very charming.” He looked at T.K., eyes sparkling with mirth. “Just like you.”
Now it was T.K.’s turn to roll his eyes. 
“Besides,” Carlos said, dropping the blue towels into the cart, “having your dad there will take some of the attention off of me so my mom doesn’t tell every, single embarrassing story about my childhood. Instead your dad and my dad can try to one-up each other talking about crazy calls they’ve been on.”
T.K. wasn’t convinced yet. “He’s just really not been himself lately. And I have no idea what his mood is going to be like post-surgery. I don’t want him to leave a bad impression with your parents.”
“I’m sure it will be fine. Besides, it would be good for your dad to get out of the house. Be around family.”
T.K. sighed. “I guess at least if he’s with us I’ll know he’s safe. And it will give him something to do to keep his mind off how bored he is.”
“I thought that was what the puzzle was for,” Carlos said with a teasing grin as they walked toward the checkout.
T.K. sent him a withering look. “Just let me pretend it’s going to work and not sit on a shelf in the closet until the next time he has a garage sale. It makes me feel better.”
Carlos nudged him good-naturedly. “I will let you keep your delusion.” He stopped pushing the cart and leaned against the handle. “But it’s going to cost you.”
T.K. took a step closer and bit his lip. “Oh is it?” he asked, wondering exactly how randy Carlos was going to get in the kitchen appliance aisle. 
“Yep.” Carlos grinned. “We’re having camarones a la diabla for dinner tonight.”
T.K.’s face fell. “What? No! Come on I already looked at towels with you!”
Carlos just smiled and sauntered away with the cart, leaving T.K. alone in the middle of the aisle to hurry after him. “Okay but only a little spicy all right? Not ‘accidentally almost kill T.K. spicy’ like last time?”
“That was your own fault and you know it,” Carlos called back.
T.K. huffed. “That’s exactly why we don’t need a repeat!”
Carlos stopped and let him catch up. “If we’re going to live together we have to build up your tolerance to heat. Don’t worry,” he said, patting T.K.’s cheek, “I’ll be gentle.”
T.K. eyed him warily. “Nice try Reyes. I know behind that smile is a conniving, spice loving, diabolical monster.”
“What if I promise you homemade ice cream for dessert?”
“What because I’m a five-year-old and can be bribed to eat my dinner?” T.K. asked.
Carlos cocked his head and raised his eyebrows.
“Fine,” T.K. said grudgingly. “But I want chocolate.”
“Then chocolate it is.”
                                XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
T.K. had never seen his boyfriend panicked before. Upset yes, excited for sure, but the most emotionally intense his mild mannered boyfriend typically got was moderately annoyed. Tonight however, he seemed like he might actually be about to lose his shit. And as intrigued as T.K. was to see where that might lead, a little voice in his head reminded him that Carlos losing his shit five minutes before his parents were due to arrive was probably not going to leave a favorable impression.
“Where are the tortilla chips?” Carlos asked, his voice sharp and pitched a note or two higher than usual. “I thought you picked them up on your way home today.”
“Right here,” T.K. said smoothly, opening the cupboard and pulling out the bag of homemade chips he’d purchased from a favorite restaurant down the street.
“And you told them to make the guacamole fresh right?”
“Yes, I stood there for fifteen minutes while the guy went out and hand picked the avocados,” T.K. said, trying not to let too much amusement color his tone.
Over the last few days the tension in their home seemed to have changed direction. As T.K. had grown more comfortable with the idea of his dad coming for dinner, (despite the one minor, running into a burning building incident that T.K. was trying not to think about) Carlos had gotten increasingly tense. 
The condo, always in a state of near perfect cleanliness now sparkled like something out of a magazine. And the list of instructions Carlos had left for T.K. to complete after his shift had been so detailed and exact that T.K. wondered if he’d stayed up all night writing it. Personally he thought that doing a deep clean of the refrigerator and painting over scuffs on the baseboards was a little bit of overkill, but he’d done as asked. Now, as he watched his boyfriend dart from one side of the kitchen to the other in a slightly manic state, he was wondering if he might need to intervene. 
Carlos pushed past him to take the perfectly made guacamole out and put it in a bowl. “Did you put a clean hand towel in the bathroom? The blue one?”
“Blue? I thought you said black.”
Carlos froze and glowered at him. “I’m kidding,” T.K. said, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “Blue towel is freshly laundered and in the bathroom. I’m not sure exactly how the color of a hand towel could ruin the evening but I certainly didn’t want to risk finding out.”
Carlos’ face dropped a bit, emotional exhaustion pulling at him. “I know I’m being crazy.”
“Oh I think we surpassed crazy about two hours ago when you were picking individual pieces of lint off the throw pillows,” T.K. said with an amused smile. “Relax. Tonight is going to be great. You’re making a damn soufflé. How could anyone not be impressed by that?”
“Maybe I should have gone with something more traditional,” Carlos said, running an agitated hand through his curls for the hundredth time that evening. “My parents are traditional people. But your dad is coming so I wanted to pull out all the stops.” He peered through the oven door at the soufflé. “Maybe I should have done the beef. I’m going to take it out just in case.”
“Carlos, Carlos whoa, hey,” T.K. stopped him by putting his hands on his shoulders. “The soufflé is going to be great. Everyone is going to love it. Do not take that beef out of the refrigerator.”
Carlos’ eyes widened. “Oh my god I forgot to put the ice trays in the freezer!”
“Whoa, hey, nope,” T.K. held on a little tighter and didn’t let him go. “You asked me to do that this morning. Let’s just go sit for a minute—“
“I need to—“
“What you need to do is take a few deep breaths and get yourself together,” T.K. told him, pushing him gently onto a bar stool.
“I just want it to be perfect.”
“Babe I know. But it’s not going to be. Nothing ever is, so you need to let got of that expectation. It will be a great dinner because everyone who’s coming loves you and wants you to be happy.”
Carlos slumped a bit, mussing his curls a little more with his hands. “I’m nervous.”
“I know. But I’m going to be right beside you the whole night. And nothing your parents say is going to make me upset. Or want to leave.” T.K. leaned a little closer as Carlos deliberately avoided making eye contact. “That’s what you’re really worried about right? Not that they’ll say something to make you upset, but that they might hurt me?”
Carlos chewed at the inside of his lip and covered T.K.’s hands with his own, twining their fingers together nervously. “They just might not be as careful with their words as I want them to be. Sometimes they speak without thinking. They have old biases, things from church and the family…”
T.K. brought one of Carlos’ hands up to his mouth and kissed his knuckles. “I know the difference between willful hate and accidental ignorance. I’m not worried.” He ran a hand through Carlos’ hair, fixing some of the damage he’d done to himself. “And nothing, not even rude parents or a fallen soufflé, would ever make me want to leave you.”
T.K. watched as some of the tension eased out of his shoulders. “I love you,” Carlos said quietly.
“I love you too,” T.K. said, squeezing his hand.
There was a knock on the door and Carlos sucked in a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
T.K. leaned forward so their lips met in a sweet kiss. “Absolutely.”
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goldentournesol · 4 years
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Doubt
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(Spencer Reid x Reader)
The one where Spencer is struggling with a recurring dream which leads him to doubt his career path, but Y/N comforts him.
A/N: Request: “can you write one kinda based off s4 ep 6 where morgan comforts reid saying “you could’ve done any job but you chose this one” but instead of morgan the reader comforts him (lots of fluff pls)” i hope i did it justice and thank you for requesting! FLUFF! and a teeny bit of angst, i tried my best not to copy the episode :) (gif is not mine)
Length: 1.8k
masterlist
Sleeping on the jet was usually reserved for the trips back from cases because the team was so used to reviewing what they knew about it on the way there, but Spencer had other plans. He had had troubles sleeping lately and he couldn’t help but nod off on the plane, if slipping into the REM stage was considered nodding off.
A certain dream kept coming back to him, but each time it was a little different. Dream Spencer kept finding the same dead boy in the same basement. It was bad enough that Spencer spent his conscious energy on saving endangered lives, but now, his subconscious was dealing with it too, and it had all become too much for him to handle. 
Y/N knew about the dreams he was having, seeing as she was the closest person to him besides his mother. She had been waking up to him yelling in the night, but she was never bothered by it. She consoled him every chance she got. Without her, Spencer probably would have lost his mind.
Spencer stirred in his nap with a permanent scowl on his face. Watching him stir made Y/N very nervous so she squeezed his shoulder gently in hopes of waking him without startling him.
“Spencer?” she called softly, moving closer to him.
He awoke with a jerking motion and a shocked look on his face. The rest of the team looked in his direction with concerned gazes. Y/N rubbed his shoulder again to remind him that he was okay. It was a subtle movement, but Spencer was grateful for it because it kept him grounded.
“Sorry, I was dreaming..” he trailed off tiredly, rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah, no kidding!” Emily said with an amused smile.
“Found a..six year old boy who’d been abused and stabbed. Your baby was at the crime scene, I was tryna..I was tryna get him out of there, sorry.” He tried explaining, referring to JJ’s baby.
Morgan and Hotch both tried to say something about dream analysis, but he quickly told them he didn’t believe in it.
“Why aren’t we reviewing the case file?” He countered, hoping that would end the discussion.
“I don’t know, maybe because someone fell asleep on the jet?” Emily teased and Spencer smirked, with a small shake of his head. The rest of the team giggled and went on with bouncing details of the case off each other.
 Y/N cast a worried glance over at Spencer who’d avoided her gaze. She knew she’d talk to him about it soon, though. She slid her hand in his when no one was looking, letting him know that everything would be alright. She saw a small smile crawl up to his face and she sighed in relief inaudibly.
----
Y/N and Reid were assigned by Hotch to stay the night at the victim’s house with the parents to offer any assistance if necessary. They both took separate couches, Y/N just dozing off when she heard Spencer mumble her name.
“Y/N…” he mumbled, “Y/N, get them off me.” he said with more force, “Y/N! Y/N, get them off me!” he panicked as he writhed in his sleep, hands clutching his shirt and his chest.
She hurriedly turned a lamp on and rushed to his side, “Reid! Spencer, wake up! It’s me.” 
She grabbed him gently and his eyes shot open with a look of terror. He trembled as his hands went up to cover his face in embarrassment and tiredness. The parents had rushed downstairs in a panic and Y/N was quick to assure them that everything was okay and that it was just a misunderstanding. Spencer uttered a few apologies and Y/N convinced the parents to go back to bed. 
Y/N turned to him and spoke gently, “Spence, is everything okay?”
He huffed and took a seat on the couch, his fingers in his hair, “I’m making everything worse.” He sounded so exhausted. She took a seat on the coffee table in front of him.
“Spencer, it’s not your fault. These cases aren’t easy, and they get to all of us.” She tried to console him again.
“I’m losing it in their living room, Y/N, and I’m dreaming about dead kids...and being covered in leeches.” 
“What’s scaring you, love?” She was so gentle and inviting but his mind got the best of him. She took one of his hands that was tugging at his hair and rubbed his knuckles slowly.
“There’s boys that are dying and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” He admitted his insecurities weakly but truth be told, he was more than just scared, he was terrified. 
She took a deep breath and nodded, understanding. “We’re gonna do our best, baby.”
However, she realized that this was a much bigger issue than she had previously thought, but unpacking it here wouldn’t have been efficient for either of them. Instead, she moved next to him on the couch and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. He turned into her and placed his head in the crook between her neck and her shoulder. He placed a soft kiss there and she smiled. She laid them down and ran her fingers through his hair to calm him until his ragged breathing evened itself out and he was out like a light again.
----
The next morning, they all had to attend the funeral of the first boy who was murdered. They hoped to spot the unsub at the funeral. They were all ready to leave and Y/N looked for Spencer in the house. She found him in the boy’s room. Last night he’d slept in her embrace, and she found comfort in the fact that Spencer felt safe with her.
“Hey, Spence. We’re almost ready to go.” She told him from the doorway. He turned to face her and sighed, he hadn’t had the chance to thank her for comforting him last night, but he’d still woken up with the same insecurities. This job depended on the repetitive nature of the murderer, which meant they needed a certain amount of victims to fully develop their profile. That didn’t sit right with Spencer or the rest of the team.
“You know...the parents are right. Odds are we’ll catch the unsub when he dumps the body or when he tries to snatch a kid.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as a defense. She bit her lip and entered the room.
“Yeah, I know the odds, Spence.” She fiddled with her fingers but she knew there was something else on his mind. He turned to the rest of the room and pointed out something about the boy’s toys. He contrasted them with the books he had in his house growing up.
“Basements are the first thing of the house to be built, right? So if you’re having a recurring dream about a basement kind of speaks to the...core fundamentals of who you are as a person.” He tried to find reason for his dream, his hands gesturing frustratedly.
“I thought you didn’t believe in dream analysis.” She smiled a little.
“Freud’s been discredited, but Jung still has his merits.” He said casually, “I’ve been having different versions of this dream since I was a little boy, Y/N.”
“You know, it’s okay if you asked for a little time off if this is worrying you that much. I want you to be okay, Spencer.” She moved closer to him. 
He huffed again, “I just want to find this boy.” he slipped past her.
----
After much investigation, they had found the boy and the unsub. Spencer made sure the boy was okay before returning him to his parents. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the boy reunite with them. Y/N walked over to him as he observed the reunion.
“You know, this is about as good as it gets on this job. We’re lucky we even get to experience this moment. ” She reminded him and he nodded, his feet still shuffling and hands stuck in his pockets. Whatever he was battling, Y/N wanted to make sure she was right there with him to help him through it.
“Yeah, I know.” he pursed his lips.
“But….you’re still thinking about a boy you’re not really sure you even knew.” she looked curiously.  Morgan had found out information about a certain boy who was murdered at the time Spencer was four years old.
“Listen, Y/N. I asked my mother about it and she told me that when I was four, she had a sense that I was in danger.” He spoke as if he was trying to recall a locked memory.
“Spencer, your mother wasn’t well.” she tried to remind him without hurting his feelings. He was unconvinced.
“Yeah, but I know facts about the case.” He stated.
“You’ve got an eidetic memory, babe. You probably just saw the story and you identified with the boy, allowing your imagination to latch onto it.” She tried to give him an explanation to bring a little peace to his whirring brain but he glanced at her.
“I don’t really think that you believe that.” He stated simply but her eyes shone with a little bit of amusement as she looked at him.
“Well, you wanna know what I really believe, Reid? I believe that you could have done anything else in the world with your life, but you picked this job,” she insisted, “you’re well aware that Jung says that our unconscious is the key to our life’s pursuits.” He nodded in agreement and she continued, “so, for one reason or another, that case stuck with you all these years. It lead you down this career path, but also to the same city where your mother lives and it gave us the opportunity to save this child. We saved this child, Spencer.” she gestured to the young boy, still clinging to his mother. 
He fought back a smile, “Yeah, yeah we did.”
“It’s a moment of celebration, enjoy it. Today was a great day on the job. We can’t forget about all the good we see, it’s really easy to become overwhelmed by the bad.” She reached up and held his arm gently. He nodded and wrapped her in a one armed hug, rubbing her other arm. He placed a loving kiss to the top of her head.
“Thanks, Y/N.” He said and she gave his waist a squeeze in response. Hotch came by and they broke apart.
“Hey, do you think it would be possible to take off in the morning?” He asked Hotch.
Hotch nodded and turned to Y/N, his voice monotonous but laced with mischief, “Do you think you can find something to do in Vegas for the night?” She responded with a giggle and a grin.
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finally watched Guardian (2018) and i need to talk
Warning: contains MASSIVE SPOILERS, probably too much music/song analysis, my poor translations from Chinese to English, and some references to the original novel (disclaimer: my novel-reading was mostly jumping around because i have a problem where I’m not fluent enough to read the original Chinese novel and I don’t usually like English translations)
1. the freakin opening theme: We Won’t Be Falling by Chen Xueran... (also I see you Tina Guo on the cello thank you queen)
the amount of chills i get every time an episode starts,,, fantastic! marvelous! the lyrics are very VERY apt to the story of Guardian, esp this drama adaptation
(“We are the one/We will be holding on/For the promise we held for life/For the people we love are leaving” ... “And the story will keep on going”)
1.1. the promise? may i direct you to novel chapter 75? 
Shen Wei: “Sometimes I think if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on.”
they promise to keep the peace, to protect both Haixing and Dixing; and in the show, it’s a promise they keep with their lives
2. Zhu Yilong plays THREE characters and is able to differentiate them perfectly with particular microexpressions
-Ye Zun (literally, “Respect the Night”; “Lord/Master of the Night” would be a better title) sets off my fight-or-flight instincts even though i think his name tries a little too hard to be edgy; the way he sneers, the smiles that don’t reach his eyes, also that infamous tongue flick when Zhao Yunlan sees through the act... i think it’s both great and sad that Yunlan could differentiate the twins because, why, Shen Wei would never be so openly flirtatious (and wear a deep-cut shirt like that lol)... the delivery of “Xiao Yunlan” disturbed me so much—wonderful, stellar acting
-Black Cloaked Envoy: does his best to bend the rules where he can for the Dixingren because he’s just so fundamentally GOOD; he’s empathetic despite how stern and strict he seems to be, and how much he claims to enforce the clearly-cut laws... he’s an absolute babie ten thousand years ago (Yunlan, doesn’t it hurt your conscience to flirt with such a babie?)
-Shen Wei: in the novel, his name (both surname and first name) are given to him by Kun Lun’s incarnations—there’s a lot of power in naming something, in naming someone; he’s good-natured and gentle, always polite... he pushes up the glasses [that he doesn’t need] a lot, perhaps because he’s used to pushing up his mask as the Envoy
2.1. i find it very striking that Shen Wei dies without his glasses; he doesn’t die as the Envoy, he doesn’t die as the Professor; he dies as a person, as the person who loves Yunlan the most and has loved Yunlan for ten thousand years
2.2. the other notable moments we see Shen Wei without his glasses are where he apologizes to Yunlan [and Yunlan apologizes at the same time because they’re pining idiots] for not noticing the camera in his office, where he sets aside all his pride as Envoy and Professor and kneels in the rain for the man he loves (lwj kneeling after visiting the Burial Mounds, yea?), and of course after he slices up an orange [cuz food = love] only to find Yunlan asleep and drapes his jacket over the silly silly man... anyway, Yunlan is indeed the only person Shen Wei is comfortable enough to reveal everything to, all defenses and masks (literal and figurative) lowered
2.3. that last instance (ep 26) is when Shen Wei pulls out his necklace and reminisces as he gazes fondly at Yunlan; the song that plays during this is 《乱心曲》or “Chaotic Heart Song”... may I direct you to novel chapter 65 where Yunlan finds all the paintings and pictures his Xiao Wei has kept from the centuries?
“邓林之阴初见昆仑君,惊鸿一瞥,乱我心曲。” which translates to “In the shade of the woods I first saw Kunlun-jun; a glimpse of his grace wrought chaos in my heart’s song”
2.4. but also let’s not forget the [in]famous cut wrist scene of ep 23, where our dear Shen Wei, without glasses, as a person who loves Yunlan—not the aloof Envoy or the well-spoken Professor—is reduced to two words: “Worth it.” Yunlan is worth everything to him; this goes without question, without a second thought. Kun Lun (Yunlan) told him not to regret whatever decisions he’ll make, and Ye Zun scolds and laughs at his brother for giving up his life for a human/Haixingren, but of course Shen Wei doesn’t regret dying to protect Yunlan, dying to protect Haixing. (also, peep the behind-the-scenes where Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s hand for a moment as he blocks the attack from Ye Zun)
2.5. on this same train of thought, Da Qing brings up a line from ten thousand years ago where Shen Wei claimed he would never kill unless it was for the world... and, well, he kills for Yunlan doesn’t he?
3. Bai Yu plays our charismatic Chief Zhao Yunlan/Kun Lun and hoo boy does he do an excellent job; the found family vibes of the SIU are spectacular and the way he flirts with tries to recruit Professor Shen is endearing and touching
3.1. there’s another piece from the OST called 《一点真心》, translated to “A Little Sincerity” though I would use “A Bit of a Sincere Heart” because it too references the novel
Kun Lun’s confession to Xiao Wei: “我富有天下名山大川,想起来也没什么稀奇的,不过就是一堆烂石头野河水,浑身上下,大概也就只有这几分真心能上秤卖上两斤,你要?拿去。” [I’m rich with famed mountains and endless rivers under heaven, but none of it feels rare when I think about it. It’s all just a pile of broken stones and uncultivated streams. From head to toe, there is probably only this bit of my sincere heart that is worth anything weighed on a scale. You want it? Take it.]
Zhao Yunlan’s confession to Shen Wei: “我别的东西也有,只是你可能大多都看不上,只有这一点真心……你要是不接着,那就算了吧。” [I have other things, only you probably would not think much of them. There’s only this bit of my sincere heart... If you don’t want to catch it, then forget it.)
And Shen Wei’s reply to Yunlan’s confession is of course “我接住了。” [I’ve caught it.]
3.2. the novel is a happy ending because Xiao Guo’s important role actually plays a part (i literally don’t understand why the show couldn’t do that after they built up so many expectations about his good character/merit/inability to be corrupted but ANYWAY)... Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, the little Ghost King has a soul and wow isn’t that just beautiful after everything he did to become worthy/deserving of Kun Lun’s attention and love
4. the Zhang Ruonnan and Wang Yike (death-touch Dixingren) case in ep 3 is an obvious parallel to the “brotherly” relationship of WeiLan... Shen Wei’s line of “Many tragedies were destined from the start” references the show of course but also the paradoxical precognition that marks the drama version of WeiLan; in both of their “first meetings”, one of them was always already in love with the other—Yunlan, as Kun Lun, knew he would have to return to his own time at some point and thus doom this impressionable young Envoy to ten thousand years of waiting and Shen Wei (honestly in a Code Geass Lelouch kinda style) knew he would have to die to defeat his brother
4.1. the importance of “touch” in this case alludes to novel WeiLan, where of course Shen Wei watched over all of Kun Lun’s incarnations but wasn’t allowed to get close to him because hungry ghosts would inevitably devour the essence of the people around them; similarly Yike was terrified of touching Ruonnan all this time... but Ruonnan accepted her (just like how novel Kun Lun lets this intriguing little Ghost King trail after him)
4.2. speaking of Shen Wei’s grand plans and the idea of “knowing”, Yunlan reminds him that “You are not a weapon/blade, you are a person.” and wow once again, only Yunlan can pull the humanity from Shen Wei, who has carefully crafted his disguise and personality to fit what people expect of the Envoy and the Professor... but alas, Shen Wei fulfills his promise by in fact making himself a weapon; he poisons himself to become a bomb that will take down his brother
4.3. as many qualms and complaints as I have with Chinese censorship, much in the case of WangXian, i think i prefer the drama version of WeiLan to the novel version; the plot of the Guardian novel is a lot better in my opinion (with references to mythology and legends, as opposed to, what, aliens?? mutants from X-Men? quirks in My Hero Academia??) and yea the relationship of Kun Lun with Xiao Wei is built up a lot better and makes more sense than the time-travel of Yunlan masquerading as Kun Lun with Shen Wei... but there’s an unadulterated, unconditional kind of love that runs through the drama, whereas the novel had some darker (though probably more realistic) vibes of near-possessiveness and ulterior motives... Kun Lun/Yunlan in the novel can be, well, cruel, which is not necessarily out of character; it’s just seems a little wrong to me that you could threaten your partner in a relationship (if you keep things from me again, i really will turn against you + had i known xyz would happen, i really should have killed you)... plus i’m always a sucker for love without an “i love you”, a love that’s conveyed entirely through actions and gazes
5. Yunlan asks Zhou Weiwei (the mirror case) where her jacket was bought because he “wants to get one for [his] girlfriend” and lo and behold, what similarly-styled and colored coat does our Shen Wei show up in a few episodes later? (also the fact that Shen Wei dies wearing this jade-ish-blue-ish coat)
6. boyfriend jacket during the Moutain-River Awl case... boyfriend jacket!!!! Shen Wei claims he doesn’t need it and well he still wears it anyway because Yunlan’s love is unstoppable
6.1. the way Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s elbow before running down the hill
6.2. Shen Wei being so freaking fine-tuned to Yunlan’s discomfort/pain as always that he drinks wine for him (and passes out immediately—heroics/bde of yllz! wwx and the alcohol tolerance of our dear lwj)
6.2.1. when Minister Gao brings up Yunlan’s dad and the Chief’s hands tighten... and of course nothing can go by Shen Wei, so he changes the topic of the conversation; also the way he leans forward as if to shield Yunlan
6.2.2. Yunlan is similarly Aware of his boyfriend’s boundaries; cue him politely excusing themselves from the dinner with Vice-Minister Guo when Shen Wei (of all people!) fumbles with his chopsticks
6.2.3. Yunlan also blocks Shen Wei from Minister Gao’s sight (subconsciously?) after that wedding showdown... even though he’s unhappy that Shen Wei has kept the identity of the Envoy from him, he trusts the other man enough to recognize there must be a reason; thus he doesn’t want other people to pry into the possibility that Shen Wei is a Dixingren
6.3. also, also that Shen Wei lets Yunlan have his way and use him as a pillow in the car once again (he also adjusts the actual pillow beneath Yunlan’s head to make it more comfortable)
6.3.1 the other Shen-Wei-is-Yunlan’s-pillow scene is when the professor picks up the poor hurting Chief off the road and in the taxi ride home... apparently this was an improvised scene from Bai Yu who just wanted to mess with Long-ge and our great Zhu Yilong just stayed in character and ran with it
6.3.2. the other notable improvised scene is the cute “Black Cloaked gege~ please be careful~ there’s someone is waiting for you at home~” [sorry that i don’t remember the exact line] but once again our great leading actors just stay perfectly in character
6.4. after Shen Wei wakes up from a night of being drunk (lol) Yunlan has left a note for him “I’ve gone back first, stay in touch. -Zhao” and what’s that on the corner of the note? why it’s a winky face
7. when Yunlan grabs the fake Zhang Danni’s wrist to confirm his suspicions, Shen Wei narrows his eyes... (lol is our Black Cloaked gege jealous)
8. when Yunlan claims he can swallow the painkillers dry, Shen Wei clenches his jaw in his anger at this idiot of a man for not taking better care of himself... you’ll find that a lot of Shen Wei’s anger is directed toward his husband being a self-sacrificial fool
8.1. after Yunlan uses the Hallows again and his nose begins to bleed, Zhu Yilong in all his acting glory has Shen Wei furious to the point that his lips tremble (cue Shen Wei angrily shoving a handkerchief into his husband’s face) [i really want to know if they ever broke character during this scene due to their proximity lol]
8.1.1. Shen Wei all but invades Yunlan’s personal space (he really does stand there between Yunlan’s legs guys) and he’s so careful even though he’s angry as he tries to stop the nosebleed; he’s aware the force might tip Yunlan backwards, so he immediately rests his hands on Yunlan’s thighs/knees to steady him
9. Yunlan has claimed that he doesn’t do things for the sake of gaining anything in return and yet every time he’s wanted things from dear Shen Wei... “take off your mask and smile for me”, “join the SID”... the sexual tension is Unreal during these scenes lol, you can see Shen Wei swallow visibly in anticipation + babie Shen Wei of ten thousand years prior all but chokes on his words when he promises to do ANYTHING Kun Lun wants him to do (honey where is your mind GOING???)
9.1. Bai Yu does have a bruise on his knee after the scene where Yunlan asks Shen Wei for something... dunno if it’s the actor’s bruise or the character’s bruise, but if it’s the character’s bruise—how did he get it? what exactly did WeiLan do that evening lol
9.2. also peep the fact that Yunlan almost always has a lollipop in his mouth when talking to Shen Wei... oral fixation much? (also the whole sequence where he tries to explain how to eat a lollipop to babie Shen Wei, wow the amount of homoerotic tension)
9.3. babie Shen Wei’s ears and cheeks are SO RED when Yunlan snatches the mask off his face
10. Yunlan’s hairstyle changes after Shen Wei joins the SIU (joins his family), much like how a bride would change her hairstyle after marriage in China ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (random note but CQL WangXian does this too when lwj puts his hair down/styled over the front of his shoulders when wwx wakes up 16 years later)
11. the first time we see Shen Wei spit up blood, there’s an echo of “Xiao Wei” faintly and Shen Wei mutters to himself “Xiao Lan” before looking up and saying louder “Zhao Yunlan” (nicknames/pet names/names only your family or lover can call you... this trope is good)
11.1. i also think a lot about how in the novel Kun Lun muses before he dies that it’s a shame he won’t see this Little Beauty [Xiao Wei] grow up to be a Great Beauty 
12. Shen Wei’s funny little eyebrow raise when Yunlan accidentally reveals he broke into the professor’s apartment once ( “riiiiiiiiight i definitely believe you”)
12.1. though the ep 23 scene is angsty, the fact Yunlan says “It’s the middle of the night, were you hungry?” seems to imply their relationship is a lot closer than just neighbors... they’re probably used to sharing an apartment/room at this point :)
13. when Yunlan is hurt, Zhu Hong looks to him but he only has eyes for Shen Wei
13.1. after Yunlan is blinded, Zhu Hong is the one cradling him but he calls for Shen Wei first and reaches for his hand; Shen Wei of course responds immediately “it’s me”
13.1.1. both times after Yunlan gets his eyesight back, the first thing he sees is the person who loves him the most
14. Shen Wei warms up the congee in the morning with his magic after he watches over Yunlan when his stomach pain acts up (domestic use of magic? yes please)
15. the bomb defusing scene in the hospital (video game -> reality case) really is framed like a wedding proposal... also the way that Shen Wei smirks lol he’s so proud of his husband
16. after his Envoy identity is revealed, Shen Wei all but abuses his Black Cloaked Envoy voice to stop his stupid husband from doing stupid things that will hurt himself and every time Yunlan is properly sh00k by it
16.1. we really go from Chief Zhao remarking in the Mountain-River Awl case that he’s used to ordering people around, not receiving orders to married bickering with Shen Wei to then agreeing to everything Shen Wei tells him to do
17. the fact that “Shen Wei, ah, Shen Wei... You are such a good person, how could I bear to let you go?” is an actual line from the censored DRAMA astounds me, nevermind that Shen Wei just made breakfast for his man and Yunlan is basically pouting up at him from the bed
17.1. the way Yunlan’s dad warns him to stay away from Shen Wei and Yunlan responds with something like “he’s sincerely good to me, I want to be with him”... “be with him”???? [inhales deeply] yea this is definitely a “brotherly relationship”
18. Yunlan’s “WOW” after the Envoy kills the monsters in the cave of the Mountain-River Awl case is hilarious and i dont understand how such a noise is physically possible,,, it sounds like a growl?????
18.1. Zhu Yilong was asked to mimic it during an interview (which he did not do and only half-heartedly gave a “wow”) and then Bai Yu did it again
19. also i inevitably got attached to the side ship of Lao Chu and Xiao Guo... they have so much skinship for a censored “brotherly relationship” lmao
the amount of face-touching and hand-holding that they do is unreal... they’re more canon than WeiLan in the drama adaptation methinks 
20. 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time” sounds like Yunlan’s reply to Shen Wei’s《只是太在意》or “Just Cared Too Much”
20.1. the lyrics of both these songs really cements this idea that both of WeiLan believe the other to be too good... Kun Lun was a god in the novel, and Xiao Wei was just a soulless little Ghost King... and then we have the incorrigible Chief Zhao pining after the beautiful and kind Professor Shen... i just have a lot of feelings about them becoming better people for each other, that their love really does make each other stronger
21. my favorite two pieces from the OST are Shen Wei’s theme (arranged by Kun Luo) and Kun Lun’s theme (arranged by Chen Xueran)
head’s up: it’s been like four years since i last even glanced at music theory so a lot of this might just make no sense to an actual professional
-Shen Wei: written in 4/4 time, Ab Major, melody is primarily carried by piano + strings; the piano almost sticks exclusively to triplets whereas the strings are in steady whole, quarter, and eighth notes—which creates in interesting impressionistic effect, kind of like hazy smoke or the ripples across the surface of a lake; every single measure uses decrescendo, so the first triplet is always the loudest and the three that follow get progressively softer (mimicking an echo)... the piece ends on the seventh note of the scale, which is usually a pretty awkward place to end and yet it doesn’t feel wrong it all; the piece uses a ritardando in the last three measures, and we simply drift off with that last G... i think it’s a beautifully written piece that perfectly portrays such a complex character as Shen Wei, someone who loved with everything he had, and was just so overwhelmingly good... and then he simply disappears as if the dream has ended. it makes me think of how he guarded over Kun Lun/Zhao Yunlan for thousands of years in the novel, never ever ever daring to meet him... and yet the other man always felt like he was waiting for someone
-Kun Lun: written in 3/4 time, a minor, there’s no real complex shift in the melody although there’s brief modulation into E major (dominant/fifth note); it’s a fairly somber piece, especially when the strings join in... it’s a steady waltz, and it finishes with the scale (second to last major is g, last major is a), like a circle coming back around [like their love story perhaps?]... there’s a finality to it, a completeness, a wholeness, which makes sense in the drama-verse because the moment Yunlan takes up the name of Kun Lun is when his love story with Shen Wei all fits together. the piece feels a little lonely in its minor key and all, a little sad, indeed as if you were standing at the top of a mountain surrounded by clouds and mist... the constant meter also reminds me of like the steady drip of water, the perpetual and inevitable passage of the days and time
-i don’t really understand how because the keys of the two pieces don’t fit together easily, but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to play the pieces back to back; the melodies of both seem to call upon each other despite the differences in key and time signature, so it actually feels right. a circle without a beginning or an ending, wouldn’t you want your love to be so infinite?
-when yunlan finds shen wei in their bubble outside of time, when shen wei is about to leave him, shen wei is wearing the outfit of their first meeting. and the lyrics go “Across time, I am in the same place”... surely, they will find each other again.
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argumentl · 4 years
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The Freedom of Expression Ep 8 - About Sawajiri Erika's early comeback. (*Treatment of drug addicts*)
K: Hi, This is Dir en grey's Kaoru. Joe san, Tasai san, once again.
J, T: Please. Thank you very much.
Kami: Me too.
J: Oh, kami too, right?
K: Unlike on the radio show, he's always around now, isnt he? There were times when he wasn't around before.
J: I think he descended to us about once a month on the radio show.
T: *laughs*
K: In that show, he just flitted in sometimes, and that was it.
J: Yes, yes, yes.
K: Now he's everywhere.
J: He's a regular commentator now.
K: *laughs*
T: This time we have some news from Tokyo Sports.
J: Ah! From the celebrity world
T: Lets start.... Do you know the Japanese comedy duo 'Nihon Elekitel Rengo', famous for the 'Dameyo, damedame' sketch?
J: I didn't, but I learned about them from Tokyo Sports.
T: What about you, Kaoru?
K: I know them.
T: They are a female duo, but one of them, Nakano san, got married to an older man working at the same agency, but it was a marriage with zero prior social interaction.
J: What does that mean? They got married on the same day they met?
T: Well, she was approched by the man, Matsuo Atom san, but she continuously turned him down. Then she suddenly decided last year to marry him. So, its kinda being debated online whether it is or it isn't *1. I really want to ask them.
J: Ahh, surely it is.
K: You can't say it isn't.
J: You can't.. But if you think its isn't...what isn't?!
T: People who think that it isn't, say that because they've never dated, they don't know each other well, and they might divorce quickly.
K: Oh, thats about afterwards.
T: Some concern was raised about that.
J: But I dated my wife for twenty years before marriage, and ended up getting divorced after two years. So just because you've been together for a while, it doesn't mean you won't get divorced.
T: Ahh, I see.
J: This type of thing can't be helped.
K: But thats normal, dating for a long time, getting married, and then ending up separating. It happens to a lot of people, right?
J: Yes.
T: But this Nakano san says, they've never held hands, they don't know each other's address, they don't live together..
J: But they got married?
T: Yes
K: The possibility of them separating seems high, but...
J: Right?
T: Yeah
K:..but, they can do what they want.
J: Yes, i think so. It sounds weird, but this also works as publicity.
T: Yeah
J: Almost like a risky stunt. Personally, I think its possible. But if one of them had the idea, and the other agreed to it, isnt it something to be thankful for?
T: Yeah, but apparently thier boss was really worried about it, he said they should have told him first. He booked a hotel suit room and shoved the two of them in there, but apparently nothing ended up happening.
J: Nothing happened?! People hearing this will want to know if they love each other.
Kami: I want to meet thier boss.
J: Oh, that? *laughs* A suite room is expensive right?
Kami: Yeh, I want to stay in a suite room.
*everyone laughs*
K: What would you do if you did stay in one?
Kami: If I did? Hmm, use the internet.
*laughing*
J: You can do that anyway! What about something more extravagant?
K: Like ordering room service or something.
Kami: I would order room service.
K: What would you order?
J: What would you eat, Kami?
Kami: Ramen
*laughing*
J: I don't think there are many people who would order ramen in a suite room.
K: It might actually be good though. Eating that kind of common food in that kind of place.
J: Eating something...
K: and just looking at the internet.
J: Just looking at the internet *laughs*
K: Its luxurious, right?
J: Exactly. Isn't it wasting the suite though?
T: Okay, lets look at another story. Its this story, it caused quite a stir. Sawajiri Erika...she was found to be in possession of drugs and had her first court appearance at the end of January. The entertainment world is in uproar concerning her early comeback, should she, shouldn't she?
Kami: She should.
J: I think so too.
T: Why? I'll ask you first, Joe.
J: Well, this is her first crime, so she probably won't get a prison sentence. I think it will be a suspended sentence. So, the idea behind a suspended sentence is to give you preparation time to get back to your normal life. Its important get back to your original life as much as possible.
T: I see
J: So, with a suspended sentence she will lose all of her tv sponsers and stuff, but its important for her to gain a platform back, for example, online or such. Now, if we talk about the situation in America, drug addicts are seen as ill people, not criminals, so they embark on a process of revovery, in order to quickly return to regular life. There's a feeling of, 'you're ill, so lets get you better'. Its felt that the worst thing to do, is to be alone with it. Leaving people in these situations is seen as bad. Getting people re-immersed in the community, and returned to normality as much as possible through social interaction, is how America deals with this. As to why America does this, its mainly cost, it costs money to treat people. They want to get people back out into the world quickly. Unlike the idea of severe punishments in Japan, America generally thinks in that way. My own view is very similar to that... We'll have to wait for the verdict. If she gets prison, theres nothing to be done, but if she gets a suspended sentence, she should try to return to her normal life as much as possible. On the other hand, once you've used drugs, you must be able to continue in a clean state, so you must also have the support around you to be able to stay clean.
T: I see, I see.
J: I think thats important.
T: Kami, what are your thoughts?
Kami: The same as Joe. There were no victims.
J: Yes, thats right. No one else was hurt by this.
T: An opposing opinion might be that, as a tv star, she might have a bad influence on young people. What would you say to that?
J: In that case,..well, i don't watch tv much, so I don't really know, but there are loads of scenes of people injecting stuff on talk shows or such, aren't there? Thats got to be more of a bad influence. I think people need to consider that more. Just because she appears on tv, it doesn't mean people are gonna start doing drugs.
K: Yeh, she isn't gonna do drugs on screen.
J: Yeah, rather, those scenes of syringes and stuff..
K: Yeh, the stuff on talk shows is more of a bad influence.
J: I think so.
T: So, in connection with this, what do you think about stopping the screening of movies etc which the person has starred in, which tends to happen at lot in the entertainment world..Joe san?
J: I can only describe it as nonsense. In the music world, it would be the withdrawal of records..., there is no meaning to it. Its totally separate from what they are expressing. As for music, no one ever talks about The Beatles' or The Rolling Stones' drug use. Thats a totally different issue...In relation to drugs, I think eradicating them is important, so for example, we could have a portion of that artist's sales being donated to organisations like DARC  (Drug Addiction Rehabilitation Center) in Japan, for example, which would be a good way to use them. I can't see any merit in just withdrawing thier works. If an artist returns to thier life, but is unable to be musically active, well, Tashio san is a good example of this *2, the places they can exist disappear gradually, and they become isolated. This is really sad. There's a possibility that leaving people in that isolated state can have a further negative influence, so there is no point in limiting the places people can work, or withdrawing thier works. I think Japan's management of this issue is problematic. In America, they don't arrest people for using drugs, they arrest the buyers and such, and thats what makes the news. But in Japan, you can see who's using drugs just by checking your phone. In particluar, famous people who use drugs are made into targets, to scare people, and to show how much your life will be ruined if you use drugs. It seems like its a kind of boosting of the zero tolerance policy which the Ministry of Health and Welfare introduced in the 1990s. It seems like that to me anyway.
Kami: Couldn't they make some kind of isolated place available, where its ok to do drugs?
T: Thats new.
J: Another novel idea from Kami.
K: Well, but yeah.
Kami: Because people who like drugs, will just like them.
J: I think so.
Kami: Yeh, so if you do that...because there are people who feel happier after taking medicine right?
J, T: Yeh.
Kami: Couldn't those type of people go to some place and be allowed to do it?
K: Without any crime occurring, right?
J: Right
T: Yeh, thats it.
Kami: No crime.
J: Well, i don't know if this is the appropriate way to express this, but in the case of drug dependence, its clear that the number one drug which causes mental and physical dependence is alcohol, rather than 'drugs'. You won't get arrested for alchol dependence, and the reason for that is because alcohol is legal. But incidents or fatal accidents cause by alcohol are ceaseless. There are a few incidents annually where someone murders after using drugs but, for example, as for people at the station falling onto to train lines, sixty percent of those are drunk, and many more people are killed by drunk drivers than drug addicts.
K: Well, its because there are many more people who drink alcohol.
J: Yes, the proportion is bigger. So if you consider these incidents in this way, they are certainly happening. In relation to drugs, there isn't really any logical explanation for them being illegal, but they are still strictly controled. Its a bit strange, but in America...well, it might be strange to always talk only about America, but the ban on cannabis, or medical cannabis has been lifted in America. In Japan, we have a situation where we can't even discuss such a thing, so I feel like it may be a bit of Galapagos syndrome....What do you think, Tasai san, about (Sawajiri's return)?
T: Well, she won't be able to eat, if she can't do tv work. From the viewers perspective, as long as its done appropriately..
K: Don't you need sponsers for tv though? So its not something she can really decide herself. But..on the stage or theater, if there are people who want to see her, I don't think it should be a problem.
T: Yeah
K: If there are people who say they don't want to see her on the airwaves, well, they are going to say that.
J: What do you think about her comeback, Kaoru?
K: Its completey fine to do it. Well, I mean she was doing a bad thing, but she has to carry on living. She could also find a different job, thats fine too.  As for returning to the entertainment world, well, i dont really know, but she should return to some kind of work as soon as she can.
J: Yes, thats it...It might be difficult in the entertainment world.
T: Right..Especially with sponsers.
Kami: Isn't that ok though?
K: Yeah, they'll use who they want.
Kami: Its only whether the sponser will use her or not, right? On tv?
J: On tv, yes.
Kami: If they have a reason to use her, they will.
J: But as Kaoru said, she might have more freedom on the stage or something. There must be something that only she can do, so it seems at waste to just kill off her talent.
Kami: If she herself decides to lay low for a while and self reflect on what she did, thats ok too. No one needs to tell her to. Now, i mention it, its the same with alcohol. If you drink too much and end up being late, you can self reflect and show remorse. If it was me i would deduct it from thier salary though.
J: *laughs* How fresh.
Kami: Its just a problem of whether or not they self reflect on it.
T: I see
K: Well, it depends on the circumstances of the person.
Kami: Yeh, in the end. Of course, drugs, but alcohol and cigarettes etc are all bad too, right? I really want to emphasise that. But at the same time, there are people who like them, who will use them anyway. As a result they will be punished by the law, and that will be enough. I think that should be a salary deduction, and then be finished with it. But your boss or someone might be mad at you *3
T: I see
J: Its like, I've had a deduction, so forget about it already.
T: So, that was Tokyo Sports' news.
J: Ahh, Oh! I wanted to ask you, who is it? Celebrity 'X', who is about to be arrested?
K: *laughs*
T: We'll put the news out to the whole world, so..
J: You'll find this if you search for Tokyo sports news, 'X'.
T: Oh, i can't tell you.
J: You can't? Damn
K: Kami might know.
J: He might.
K: But he's only a god for us three.
J:Yeh
K: Maybe he doesn't know.
J: He's not a worldly god.
Kami: I know who it is.
J: Oh, you know?
Kami: I know.
J: Kami, who is it?
T: Joe, don't ask that!
J, K: *laugh*
T: It'll be announced to the world...my account will be banned.
K: We need people to subscribe, right.
J: Yes yes yes yes.
K: Thank you very much, see you next time. Thank you.
J, T: Thank you
*1 It is or it isn't/they are or they aren't, or that type of thing.
*2 No idea who this is.
*3 Not 100% about what he means here.
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incarnateirony · 4 years
Note
What? Rob already finished filming his part when most of ep20 is still left to film? I guess it means Death/Empty is the real villain. This also means Chuck probably will get a redemption arc in ep19. Yikes at Cas again missing out a confrontation and the showdown with his dad after the S11 finale.
I’m unsurprised with Death/Empty as the end, I been saying that for a while TBH. The second the Empty said:
1. I had a deal with Death
2. It would sleep again from that Deal and
3. Cas had no place in the deal
Told us several things:
1. Cas isn’t the reason the Shadow is awake (as suspected). His deal is very much in place but he isn’t the lone disturbance.
2. Death has an agenda that would put the Shadow back to Sleep.
Considering Chuck appears to be the Mind in which the living world is born (like many other mental headspaces including those of humans), despite his theatrics it may be safe to assume his death means the complete collapse of the constructed worlds he made, and we do know Death at one point swore He would reap God too one day. Perhaps that’s the motivation. Which would take the whole “unbirthing” status I mentioned of either heaven or subsuming the shadow, for Cas, literaly not just “a critical” but “the critical” resolution, should I be right about that. 
I really, really doubt Chuck’s getting an actual redemption arc. More likely I see a “just desserts” style ending, wherein he’s unplugged from/stripped of the souls he uses to maintain godhood (it’s all about the souls, very old yet recurring canon on what makes someone god; because what’s real, people and families are the one true thing, everything else is constructed commentary)--but rather than an umpteenth vengeance story, wouldn’t it be more apropros to set him loose in the machine he designed to make others suffer, powerless? If they *do* kill Chuck, it’s literally going to be Billie pushing them into doing so despite having some jiminy cricket saying it’s a bad idea (already framed as a lowkey bad idea in 15.12 with the Destiel Drinking Scene, if lowkey while Dean’s thinking it’s a Great Idea-- that kind of poetic ending is not going to go well. And lacks the true poetry of it in the end.)
We also have no idea if Chuck may be in the 10%~ of ep 20 already filmed, for example. But frankly I consider that the least of my concerns. Castiel already clearly accepted and moved on about Chuck’s... issues a long time ago. I know a lot of fans want to watch Cas scream and yell and punch Chuck lots or whatever because for them it feels great, but from the moment Cas chose to fall in season 5, there was already some acceptance of problems with the machine--first passed to his brothers, and then on, and on, and on, and on. Anyone notice Cas didn’t even really react to the Big Evil Chuck Reveal 14.20? He just kinda squared his shoulders and settled his chin. It’s not that Dabb��“forgot” to write Cas into having lines or merit in the scene. It’s that Castiel’s entire journey has been coming to terms with the father that he imagined being a lie. 
So if Cas doesn’t get to hallabaloo at Chuck, I mean-- I’m good with that. Honestly it feels like it would be regressive. What would they accomplish? “Making up”? Chuck apologizing bullshittedly again? Or like I said, cas being Big Mad? There’s no consolation for this. It is what it is, and has been Castiel’s reality for a very long time IMO.
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el-im · 3 years
Text
im putting all the things ive been meaning to write posts about into one single item because i am feeling Very Observed lately and i figure with it being as early as it is that hopefully this wont show up on some peoples dashes by the time they get around to pulling up tumblr today. 
first of all heres a photo dump and some captions
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from when i texted charlie my images of the sisko card, which i was really hoping he’d like
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a smiley face on my coffee 
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i was gonna make a gender joke here bc the longer i looked at these before n after pinning back my hair pictures the more i was like ‘oh we just flipped gender presentation like a lightswitch huh’ but that was not funny and i am not funny and I wish i were but im not and its kind of a >:( fact thats been bugging me lately. 
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from mom, yesterday, who dropped off one for me, one for nick, one for mia, and one for abe. i was expecting this to be the only thing i got/heads up/message on valentines day but i woke up this morning to find that aub had sent me a playlist that i looked at but havent listened to yet (because im trying to order my responses to things in increasing complexity and time--i responded to the tik toks elanor sent me first, them had a look at the star trek document that joe sent me and commented on the questions he asked without giving away spoilers, and am now making this post, which ive been meaning to make, and will then maybe try to listen to the playlist and then respond to michelle’s email) 
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these are joes thoughts from some ds9 episodes. initially, i’d sent him a list of ‘best’  episodes (my favorites AND the eps i thought were most emblematic of ds9′s issues--bajor’s relationship with cardassia, trill relationships, etc) hoping that he’d be able to see the merit of the show, but he insisted on re-watching the first episode before he started working on the list because he’d only seen it once a long time ago, and then, after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit (with tosk) decided that he’d try to watch the full first season, especially after i expressed my dismay at realizing he wouldn’t get the chronological introduction to garak bc ep 3 wasnt on my list of best episodes. anyway. he showed me this list of written reactions after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit and it made me so happy he decided he’d keep doing it, which i insisted wasn’t necessary because it seems to me like a lot of work (and which i still feel guilty about) but he was like told me that he’d only seldom seen me as happy as i was upon reading that and it was something little he could do to foster that joy which.. makes my heart crack in two). 
anyway. the real reason i started this post was because ive been up in arms for the past few days about mia and covid. 
speaking of which. 
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baby ‘passed’ first covid test. that arrow on the side is the minimized player where im watching nemesis. hah. 
anyway. 
to make a longer story short, my (pregnant!!!) sister decided, stupidly, to go with her boyfriend abe, a sound engineer, to a broadcast stage he was setting up in california, because she has a liver condition that appeared during her pregnancy which makes giving birth difficult (which is emotionally challenging for her because she had always wanted to do an at-home birth without drugs) and in fact, is a condition which typically leads to the birth having to be induced early, which means, at this point in development, that she could potentially need to have the child at any time. she went with him because she didn’t want to be without him if the baby needed to come. she was there for a week, with the both of them feeling sick all the while, and then came home early without abe because she felt bad and wasnt having fun, eventually getting a ride from my mother (who lives with my grandmother and great aunt, 93 and 86 respectively) back home from the airport (she took a PLANE!?). anyway. at our insistence, she was tested the same day she got home. she was reluctant to do it because she ‘didn’t think she had it’ and figured that it was ‘just the flu, honestly’ as if she had any way of knowing that???? in the day she was waiting for her test results, she came out of her room multiple times without a mask on, walking around the kitchen or playing with the dogs, even though we told her to stay in her room (and had brought her food/hot tea/whatever else she needed). she had no reason to come out when she was 1. sick and 2. not quite sure if she had covid or not
anyway. her test came back positive so she was trying to ‘stay in her room’, which lasted for.. not even a day. nick and i, who hadn’t seen either of them in a week, but had been around each other, got tests. we (as pictured) both got negative results, so mia must have gotten it in california rather than from someone we’d all seen (like nick and mia’s dad or stepmother earlier in the month) 
abe came home soon after and had taken two rapid tests when he landed, but then, when coming home, immediately was sitting in the same room as my sister, without a mask on. he slept outside in our ‘arizona room’--a screened in patio with a futon in it for the first night. when his results came back (as negative), he decided that he was fine to be in the house, so wouldn’t wear a mask in the kitchen or in the living room, (something nick and i both did) AND would also be in the same room as my sister for long periods of time. i’d like to think he was wearing a mask in there, but i can’t be sure. he was playing video games in their shared room where mia was watching tv, as long as he (AND I QUOTE) ‘stayed in his corner’. it’s a ten by ten room at most. there’s no way that staying in there, even with a mask on, for as long as he did was a smart option. so... to reiterate. abe was in a room with my sister, who has covid, for a long period of time, and then wouldn’t wear a mask when in the common areas that everyone uses. which is... great right
and the thing thats been annoying me for these last couple of days in particular, ASIDE from all the dumb shit they’ve done up to this point, is that mia says abe needs to bring her food (valid) and YET mia is always in the kitchen (which doesn’t make sense). i was in the kitchen preparing a meal the other day and she came out to refill her water. which, if abe was functioning SOLELY to bring her things, as she was insisting, would not have warranted her coming out of her room. it was the middle of the day. she could have said she needed water and left her cup by the door and i could have refilled it and brought it back.... but she didn’t. i was wearing two masks (a cloth one over a medial grade one) but was still wary about her being there--because I was making food. i told her to get out of the kitchen because she’d finished getting her water, but she said ‘just a minute!!’ and continued, not three feet away from me, trying to pick up one of the dogs and playing with her. i kept telling her to go back to her room but she was acting as though i was being rude and being completely unreasonable??? she takes every request we make for her to stay away from us as a personal attack, like we don’t want to see her or be around her, instead of us trying to protect ourselves from covid?? 
THEN the fun part is after all this, abe sets up an inflatable mattress in the office (which is :) right :) next :) to my room) because he decides he doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as mia (reasonable) despite having been occupying the same room as mia for hours (STUPID). so now abe is using the hall bathroom, which nick and i use/shower in/brush our teeth in. before, abe had been using mia’s bathroom off the bedroom, and, again, had been sleeping in there. so now, if abe DID catch it from mia, which is likely, at this point, he’d going to give it to nick and i.
nick and i were upset about this, and told mia last night that she needed to stay in her room. that was how people quarantined. that is how you quarantine. you do not leave your room for ANY reason, especially if you have 1. MULTIPLE PEOPLE CAPABLE AND WILLING TO BRING YOU FOOD AT ANY TIME OF DAY and 2. A BATHROOM THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR ROOM. she came out and started yelling at us about abe, though neither of us wanted to fight with her (and there was no reason to fight about something we were CLEARLY right about). she said ‘YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS’ which meant that abe can’t not use the livingroom and the hall bathroom (which we were saying he shouldnt do) and that he can’t be in quarantine with mia (stay with her in her room) but the thing is.... BECAUSE he has spent so much time with her, and because they weren't wearing masks when they were outside and BECAUSE he spent hours playing video games in the room that my sister has been quarantined in for a whopping two days--he now shouldnt ALSO be using our bathroom, because now we can get sick. (and probably fucking will!!!!) she is having him now stay in the office and use our bathroom (GREAT) instead of just biting the bullet and staying with her because he ALREADY HAD BEEN staying with her 
and now they are both in the kitchen :)! i can hear them from my room. great. 
anyway here r some sketches that i never uploaded before cause theyre hideous but im putting here because i hope to fuck no one actually reads this/scrolls down this far
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sothischickshe · 4 years
Note
super agree nosedive is unfairly aligned and now I’m v curious to hear your black mirror ep ranking
Ooooh this is a QUESTION
First I must preface with some Points:
I'm English
I almost don't think the pre Netflix and Netflix shows are comparable, but I'm willing to try
The circumstances in which I watched the episodes impacted my experience for sure in a few cases
I haven't seen many (possibly any?) of the Netflix era ones more than once, and I'm not sure I've seen all of the others multiple times
While I appreciate the way that they made all the stories fit into a connected universe, I think it weakened the show overall
I think the seasons should have never had more than 3 episodes, I think it weakened the show overall
I find a lot of English (not necessarily British) media too cheesy and too rada to watch
I would have preferred a Charlie Brooker annual newswipe thing the last few years to a black mirror I think, although I did like the last season quite a bit
Onwards!
1. Fifteen million merits
Look I know everyone thinks San junipero is the best ep, but they're wrong! The pre glossy Netflix era is the peak, and that's it.
I also can't believe this was the second episode, especially given how forgettable the first is mostly.
I think this is more of the mission statement for the show tbh?
And I love it for a few particular things, that I think the episode would be forgettable without:
- the 'love' story is kind of hollow, but that works
- the fact that the character is kind of possessed with this need to DO something to SAY something, but has no clear plan beyond that
- Daniel kaluuya
- the ending! The way that a voice critical of the system is brought into it to be complicit. I'm sure this happens everywhere, but the style and aesthetics they used, and the facts that the character is black, and that the show aired on channel 4, are what I really appreciate
2. White bear
I mean it's just fucken amazing!! Lenora is amaaaaazing in it!!! I go back and forth btwn these eps for spots 1 and 2
3. San junipero
It's great! Defffffinitely the best of the Netflix era. It's fun! It's bittersweet! It's intriguing without being confusing!
4. The entire history of you
It's not hard to watch! It's fun in parts! I like the concept a lot!
Also, my friend warned me it was a Stephen mangan ep, and I do not like Stephen mangan, but said friend has horrid eyesight and it turns out to instead have a man who looks nothing like Stephen mangan in it, so that was relieving
5. Be right back
Oooof. I liked it more on rewatch. The first time i watched it it had such like gothic horror vibes that I was soooo tense the whole time! Great ep, great concept, great cast
6. White Christmas
Really solid ep, is quite long, obviously
7. Shut up and dance
I like that I guessed the twist, cos I was like who cares this much abt ppl knowing they masturbate oh wait oh ohhh. I like it when there seems to be logic to the writing?
8. Striking vipers
Enjoyable episode, interesting concept, great cast. STILL MAD AT THE TWO IDIOTS WHO WOULDNT HELP A PREGNANT WOMAN CARRY THE FUCKING DISHES THOUGH WYD
9. Uss callister
It's fun! The take down doesn't really make sense though?? But it's fun!!
10. Hated in the nation
I can't say I remember this in detail (bees??) but I remember it being enjoyable though also kinda not making huge amounts of sense, and I like the ending. Also Kelly macdonald!
11. Playtest
Solid ep! Think I would have enjoyed it more if ppl hadn't told me it was really scary, cos i was poised to be terrified the whole time and it wasn't terrifying?? I do not enjoy fear
12. Nosedive
Solid ep!
13. Rachel Jack and Ashley too
Also a solid ep! Not horrifying! I liked last season cos there were 3 eps, none duds. Weird to present a nin song as an ashley o original though?
14. Smithereens
What was this about? Yea I vaguely remember. Look I fucking love Andrew Scott (though was he claiming to be like 33 in the ep?? Nah babe) and the tension was done well, but the reveal wasn't that interesting? Nice to see topher I guess?
15. Black museum
Idk, letitia's great obvi and there's a lot of great moments but I find the concept for the ep a bit too gimmicky?
16. Arkangel
It's fine, nice direction. Didn't we kind of do this already with white Christmas though?
17. Hang the dj
It's fine, but didn't we already kinda do this but much better with San junipero?
18. Men against fire
It's fine, but idk isn't this an adaptation of every Philip k dick story ever? I can just watch electric dreams thanks - at least that knows it's an anthology show!
This felt like world building, and for what?
19. The national anthem
It's fine I guess, but pretty forgettable, pretty gimmicky
20. Crocodile
It's OK I guess, but forgettable. The twist is stupid.
21. The waldo moment
Legitimately annoying
22. Bandersnatch
So I don't have Netflix and watched a pirated version when smacked out on pain killers post surgery. You couldnt pick options, there were just... All of them. So many of them. A horrid experience. Truly baffling.
Feel like this was designed to make me pay for Netflix. Not happening mate.
23. Metalhead
Objectively shit. Still worse than that bander snatch experience
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uniformbravo · 3 years
Text
melts into the floor.......................... that episode was so good................... it was SO good...................
like fuck dude i dont even know what to say i love nishimura & kitamoto so MUCH bro i can’t handle this im gonna PASS OUT i want 30 more episodes about just the two of them and natsume i need it....... o hmy god......... fUC im a mess
when natsume told kitamoto he wants to stay in this town forever because he loves it here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 that line fuckin DECKED ME i CANNOT handle when he says shit like that i CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SO HAPPY HERE it’s the ONLY place he’s ever really like really been happy, how could he ever want to leave, or move on? the sad way he says “i know it’s probably impossible, but i’d like to stay here” is so............. that feeling of being in such a good place, a time of so much happiness, and knowing it can’t last forever, existing in this way indefinitely.... GOD that hits hard 
also i love LOVE how both stories were about not only their individual experiences befriending natsume but ALSO both involved youkai in some way like god fuck oh my god i die for any scrap of that shit w/ these two??? i kno its literally the last thing natsume wants but PLS i love the idea of them getting involved in youkai stuff so much i NEED it ghggngh
Natsume Is Their Weird Friend And They Love Him Very Much god nishimura finds him passed out in the woods and IMMEDIATELY runs over to help him and all but DRAGS him to his house to get him to rest like PLEASE that is the aggressive nishimura love we like to SEE, that “if ur not gonna take care of urself then i guess I’M just gonna have to do it HUH” attitude he has ghgufhghg nishimura’s like “take care of yourself Or Else 🔫”
ALSO when kitamoto hears natsume talking to the youkai and assumes he’s getting bullied and FLIES into the room BOTH TIMES ready to defend him hello???? HELLO?????? that is some A PLUS SHIT MY DUdES, MY BOYS OUT HERE READY TO DEFEND MY BOY WE LOVE TO SEE IT,
when natsume mentions that he also lives on the second floor of his house and nishimura’s like woah that’s the first time i’ve ever heard him talk about himself hhu huuoOUH UUOHGOUHUOOU UHUOUOHUHUGHHGHhhH natsume slowly opening up to them......... letting himself be a little more honest w them...... WAIT THAT THOUGHT MAKES THAT ONE EPISODE SO MUCH SADDER the one w the culture festival and the theme of the ep was being honest w/ his friends and how much he can trust them with etc
they can get him to come out of his shell and smile more and spend time with them but no matter what they do he can never open up to them fully, there always has to be secrets between them, he has to keep a whole side of himself hidden from them oh noooooooo aaaaAAAAAA
AND THEY NOTICE when he’s being guarded too, they can tell when he closes himself off like that AAAAAAAAAAA nishimura talking about natsume’s fake smiles and kitamoto talking about his eyes like glass oughgoughuhfuofhghh no matter what they do there will always be moments where natsume hides himself from them again and they can’t really fully understand why so then you get scenes like that one in the culture festival ep where they urge natsume to be more genuine and honest with them and natsume instantly clams up again and they just have to accept that and i just. they just :(((((((((((((((
(but the fact that they’re able to get him to open up even as much as he has is....... i hope they realize what a huge fucking deal that is)
other things from this ep tho, nishimura yells at natsume about the paper cranes and then later after everything’s resolved he helps teach him how to make them......... he’d said it’s something every kid learns to do but the fact is that natsume didn’t learn so he helps him learn now and GOD it’s just like the bike thing all over again i SCREAM natsume getting to experience things now that he never could as a kid is just an instant fucking KO every goddamn time and nishimura and kitamoto are so often the ones making it happen and i just DIE ok i die fuckin hell gOD,
(sidenote back in the library when nishimura’s like “why don’t you just ask touko to help you learn why do you have to come to the library and learn from some book” and natsume’s like “i wanted to make sure i could actually do it before offering to help with the cranes” hoo OOOUHHHHH
wants to make sure he’ll actually be useful.... doesn’t want to embarrass himself by failing to be helpful and wasting her time AS IF she would see it even REMOTELY like that god she’d be so touched whether he could make 500 or 0 of them bc the fact that he offered to help at all means a lot more than he could ever imagine PLEASE i fall to the floor)
and the fact that nishimura’s issue is wanting natsume to rely on him more... when he blows up at him that’s his main deal, like. holy shit. this youkai has attached itself to him and is amplifying his stress and frustration to the point that he takes it out on natsume and even then it’s not “you’re weird, you’re a freak, leave me alone, stop talking to me,” it’s “why won’t you rely on me? why are you so distant? i’m trying so hard and you won’t even look at me” and that’s so monumental, especially in natsume’s case like. i think in a weird way that meant a lot to natsume??? like fuck, nishimura runs off and natsume goes after him to save him from the youkai, and afterward, when he’s talking to nyanko sensei, he says that nishimura is a good guy and that he’s important to him like..... LIKE........ FUC NISHIMURAS SO GOOD FUCk
and then there’s when natsume speaks so openly and genuinely about certain things that kitamoto’s surprised because social norms categorize those kinds of things as too embarrassing to just outright say to someone, and he’s like “hmm he really must not have learned those things when he was younger huh” (which, A) but then later, “i’m glad he’s able to be open like this” 🥺
i also LOVE how much this ep focused on each of their individual lives, like with nishimura’s brother and kitamoto’s sister & father...... Things That Make You Love Characters Even More ghfhgh like my love for them has always been mostly within the context of their friendship with natsume, but this was the first time they actually stood out as individuals and HEY it turns out i love them both on their own merit too WOWIE i love them theyre so good hey nishimura and kitamoto???? ARE GOOD
in conclusion i just....... they both meet this boy and think that he’s strange and quiet but they both give him a chance and accept him for who he is and it’s so good they are so so good this ep fuckin annihilated me thank FUCKING god it exists im gonna bask in it forever now holy shit thank u aaaaaaaAAAA
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crasherfly · 4 years
Text
What I’m Up To
Taking a brief pause from my fantasy screenplay to talk a bit about what I’m playing/reading/listening to these days.
VIDYA GAMES
Cities: Skylines- Still working on my shithole city in all its glory. San Cruz has expanded to over 100k residents and in the past week I’ve built a level 3 park, extensive monorail system, and even extensive helicopter pickup lines. It’s still a terrible place to live, but it’s also fun to grapple with the challenges of a desert map. 
Yakuza 0- I’m gonna post this take here, since we’re not on twitter and I’m safe from the mobs- Yakuza 0 is the experience everyone promised me Witcher 3 would be. Thrilling combat, a fascinating game world, and lovely, meaningful side quests. If this sounds like I’m digging at Witcher 3, I promise I’m not. I personally didn’t enjoy that game. But obviously, many, many people did and would disagree with my critiques. That’s totally fine! I’m just saying I’m enjoying Yakuza 0 for merits similar to what I’ve heard in connection with the Witcher franchise- and I could also see people having similar gripes, too! I’ve been on a well documented single player drought over the past couple months. Yakuza 0 finally broke me out of that, and it’s been a thrill. Getting out of the COD grind cycle has been a joy. This is a lovely experience that rewards curiosity by sparking yet more curiosity. I can’t wait to see how it continues to open up. Expect my Twitter account to go on about this for a while.
Mario 64- I have 8 stars! I’m told I have like, 113 more to go, a number which makes me groan.  So far, Mario 64 has felt like an obligation that is occasionally fun. It’s very dated, but it has the DNA that would go on to make later games like Odyssey an absolute joy.  Games like these feel more like an exercise in filling in my gamer history gaps than they do labors of love. Like most retro games, I have a hard time getting into Mario 64 for longer than 20 minutes at a time. So this will likely be a long-running project.
Star Wars: Squadrons- I probably should have known better, but I picked this game up ‘cuz the reviews were decent and the price felt right. Good news is that in the couple of hours I’ve spent with it, the gameplay is mostly solid and the graphics are beautifully rendered. It feels like both Rogue Squadron AND X-Wing, which is a hell of an accomplishment. Bad news is several of the missions appear to be badly broken, requiring numerous restarts. The game is generous with checkpoints, so it’s not a huge deal, but it is annoying. Hopefully they patch that stuff. I also haven’t tried multiplayer yet. None of my friends have bit on picking this up, so I’m not sure when or if it will happen. Assuming I can power through the hammy story, I’ll at least finish the campaign sometime down the line, even if I can’t be bothered to care how any of this fits into the larger world of Star Wars.
Warzone- Still doing that Season 6 thing! Subways have been mostly a disappointment for me so far, and the new marksman rifle has made the current meta a veritable hell for anyone with underdeveloped quick scoping skills, but I still get a couple matches in every day.
ANIME
God of High School- To say God of High School moves fast is an understatement. True to form, it sprinted its way through the finale. It’s got some lovely sequences, and I can’t wait to get my hands on the OST, but beyond a couple of choice battles, it didn’t leave a strong impression on me. I’m glad I saw it, but I’m not thirsting for a new season.
Dragon Ball- I switched over to the English dub of this show. I don’t usually do that, but I was struggling to keep my attention. I think in a way it helped? The English dub actors are far more cartoonish and silly, which really plays to the absurd animation and story turns. I’m on S1E13, and the first summoning of the dragon just happened. I won’t spoil except to say...this show has a deeply specific sense of humor, and I’m starting to dig it?
Fire Force- Season 2 is finally taking off for me. I’m on ep 14, and the focus has shifted over to the mysterious Joker. The battles have been compelling, as have been the mysteries placed by his storyline. I was struggling with feeling invested in S2 thus far, but the past few ep’s have reminded me of why I found this show special in the first place- when it gets serious and stays focused, it’s one of the tightest active shonen stories.
Manga
I’ve been on a bit of a manga break lately. Today I did take time with another chapter of Fruits Basket, which continues to be a lovely delight. I also recently received Master Edition copies of both Fairy Tail and Berserk. This week, my goal is to finish both Fruits Basket and my latest volumes of One Piece so I can dive into my new Master Editions.
Music
I haven’t had much change in my music tastes lately. I’ve been listening to a lot of Kompany and other dubstep artists, mostly ‘cuz I find the deep bass and variety of sounds soothing to me while I’m writing and zoning out during sessions of Cities: Skylines. I also enjoy its tempo while I’m running. Anything that helps the time pass, really.
Tabletop Games
I played 6 hours of DND this weekend. It was mostly a free-form improv session where I let the players do basically anything they wanted to within the gameworld we established during The Lost Mines of Phandelver. It was very heavy on roleplay, without a single instance of combat. While I was personally exhausted after the session, the players expressed that they had a very good time. We’ll be looking to finish up what they started in a bonus session for October!
Wrastlin!
My WWF Discord group just finished 1999 King of the Ring. Mr. Ass won! One of our folks actually got her bracket right. I had predicted Kane winning, so I was obviously out of luck on that. In the last RAW, Stone Cold Steve Austin just won the Heavy Weight Title from the Undertaker in an unlikely win! We’ll see how long that stint lasts...
Streams
I tried streaming from my personal Twitch using a schedule last week!
It...had mixed results.
My Warzone streams were my most popular, which is funny, ‘cuz I’m not that good at Warzone. My least popular were my Dungeon of the Endless and Yakuza 0 streams, which is not a big surprise. Those games aren’t that fun to watch.
I wanted to do the schedule as a an attempt to see if I could get a small audience or find some new meaning in games I was working through by presenting them as content.
I found the answer to both was more or less “not really”.
And that’s okay!
I also learned streaming, even just for an hour a night, is hard work. We should all be kinder to our content creators and in awe of the friends we have who do it even when on one is watching. Content creation is so unforgiving. Maybe if I stuck with it longer I’d have found my niche, but honestly, I just enjoy games for the games, and turning them into content just isn’t my speed. 
I’ve been doing the whole SpriteClub thing per usual. I’m a paid subscriber now! And I even am on a greeting basis with some folks. That’s been really cool. We had debuts this weekend too, where creators submit new fighters. The system matches them with other fighters to determine ratings. It’s a lot of fun, and the event always has this festival atmosphere to it. 
I’ve also been watching a lot of streams from the gals over at hololive-EN. Specifically, I’ve been watching Gawr Gura, Amelia Watson and Mori Calliope. It’s become nightly viewing in my household. I’ll save the debate on V-Tubers for a different place, suffice to say I have enjoyed the games they’ve presented and the personalities they’ve developed, and I think the success they’ve found is well earned. There are some talented folks behind these projects, and I find the streams to be relaxing, enjoyable, and at hours I can actually tune in for.
Personal News
Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty down. This can be easily correlated with the shift in temperature, for sure. I know a lot of people really dig fall, and I used to be a SPOOKY SEASON guy myself, but as I get older, fall has shifted into this period of mourning as I recognize the shortening days and the coming winter, which has always played hell with my body.
I’ve been struggling with a number of phantom symptoms that seem to pop up this time of year- bad digestion, terrible sleep (likely resulting from mild apnea), fatigue and heart palpitations. In turn, my mental health has been seriously flagging. 
At the suggestion of my therapist, I’ve started up a new vitamin regimen including a multivitamin and magnesium. I’ve also focused on finding potassium enriched foods and have cut back significantly on my drinking and caffeine. So far, this has actually resulted in me gaining weight ‘cuz I’ve been indulging in a lot of sugar as a coping mechanism, but I’m working through getting back to a healthy place where I can both track my intake but also be content with where I’m at. Right now I’m doing my best to try and fight the urge to become a Nap Guy. 
Last week I took several naps, even on my off days, and I’ve had a hard time sustaining my energy throughout the day, so I’m doing a better job of getting the sleep my body asks for while also structuring my day with more purpose so I’m left with less time just lying around wondering what to do.
Last week I broke my personal best for a 5K, breaking 24 minutes. For today’s run, I plan to try and break my 7:30 time on my mile run to the gym. 
For weights, I’ve gotten into a rhythm of 3 times a week, with Mondays and Fridays focusing on my core exercises- presses and curls, with Wednesdays focusing on pulls that are centered on working out my back, as well as bodyweight exercises such as dips and pull ups. This variation has given my limbs more time to heal up, which is welcome. Now if only I could be kinder to my body AFTER the gym, I might see some actual progress!
Work continues to be what it is. I’m at 30 hours now, which continues to be a huge positive. I don’t think I could keep at it with 40 hours. Change is a constant, and they seem to find new ways to make our jobs more convoluted every day. I have a quarterly review coming up with my new supervisor, but I have a feeling it won’t be nearly so traumatic as the last one, as I’ve done a good job of straightening up and flying right.
As I get more distance from August, I’m starting to recognize it- the events of my workplace disasters, my unplanned vacation, my off the rails spending and drinking- for what it was- it was a breakdown. And I’m still recovering from it. I was deeply unwell, and I took on some trauma- some of it wasn’t stuff I was looking for, some of it was stuff I brought on myself. I’m working through it. I wish I could say things like therapy have made a huge difference, but frankly, most of the work comes from stuff like this, where I’m just writing and being transparent with myself. That’s where I find the most healing work happens.
I still have a lot of my social media muted. When I need news, it typically filters through into my Discord, or Yahoo dings my phone or I see it on my Facebook feed. It’s fair to say that lately it’s felt like everything just Happens So Much.
I feel for my friends who are directly impacted- by the election, by the supreme court, by...just, everything. It all makes my own personal journey and endeavors feel...deeply small. At the same time, I just don’t have the emotional capacity required to house this perpetual crowd of events or constantly process everything in real time. I’m not sure when, if ever, I will have that again. I struggle to read ANYTHING- even friendly sites like Defector or The Discourse, without feeling an immense downswing.
I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I could just gut up and stay constantly plugged in for the sake of pals who might need to openly hash this out or draw attention to their causes or needs, but based on the past few months, I’m not sure I can take care of myself, let alone others. As I often tell close friends, my priorities these days are this small and in this order- Stay Healthy, Stay Kind, Stay Employed, Stay Productive- anything that goes right beyond that feels like a bonus in 2020.
At any rate, thanks for reading the update, y’all!
I’ll try and post these more regularly. I just wanted to check in with everyone and let y’all know how everything is going these days. Stuff like this helps me keep honest, as lately I’ve had a hard time sussing out what my direction is these days. Stay safe and well, and hit me up with what you’re up to, when you find a moment!
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vfdarkness · 4 years
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Ep 10 - The Black Door Part III
Intro
You’re shopping at the grocery store. 
As you walk past an aisle - the lights flicker - then go out.
You’re now standing in an arrangement of tall, long stones with strange, glowing carvings across their surface.
Heavy footsteps vibrate from a shadowy stone enclave. 
(A beat)
You need my help.
[AVFD music fades in]
This is A Voice From Darkness
[AVFD music fades out]
Act I
Hello, and once again welcome to A Voice From Darkness. We’ve got a packed show tonight - multiple national alerts, an interesting question from a listener that I’ll do my best to answer, a longer than normal Today In Odd America segment, and later I’ll be talking to returning caller Amanda - who you might remember is haunted by a black door. I’m afraid I recently stood her up after promising a solution to her problems. I’m sure she, as well as you listeners out there - will want an explanation. Stay tuned for the second half of our show for that conversation. But now - why don’t we jump right into our first segment - national alerts.
National Alerts
On our last episode, Bob from Minnesota sent in a question about a diner in Montana where the staff and at least some of the customers appeared to be repeating conversations - all of which were scripted. Bob revealed that he saw a copy of the script and he was in it and was supposed to say things he never would. It may not surprise you then that our first national alert this evening is for Montana. Just off I-94 between Miles City and Forsyth there’s a diner called Spoon’s Favor. Do not stop at this diner. After our last episode I messaged Bob for further information. He provided me the name and location of the diner, however he told me he went back there himself. He eats there everyday now. He has pleasant conversations with the waitress and regulars. He encouraged me to stop by Spoon’s Favor myself. He is in the script. The script gives him knowledge and comfort he never had before - he told me. However, I am not in the script, but he’s sure they could write me, or anyone else, in. He thinks things will be better off once everyone is in the script - in some way or another. He declined to provide further information as that’s as much as he was scripted to say. I’m still not sure what this script is, if it manifests in other ways outside this Montana diner, but I’ll keep you updated as more information is uncovered. 
Our second national alert is for my home city of Chicago. The Chicago Spire has once again appeared - do not go into it. For those unfamiliar with the building, it’s a skyscraper off Lakeshore Drive that began construction in 2007, but was never finished. Somehow, someway, the finished building - a spiraling structure that extends 150 stories into the sky - started appearing intermittently in 2012. Usually it only manifests for a few hours, never for more than a day. People have gone into the building - firefighters and other first responders, tourists, the generally curious - no one has ever stepped back out of the building though. The Spire typically waits for at least one person to step inside before disappearing. Don’t let it be you.
Quick Questions
On to our next segment, quick questions - I answer questions you’ve emailed or tweeted at us. Normally I’d provide our email address and twitter handle for you to send us more questions, however we’ll be taking a break after this episode so we won’t be taking any more questions at this time. Onto this week’s question: Elise writes us: Dr. Ryder, a large hourglass appeared on my dining room table a few days ago. The sand falls at strange intervals. The grains don’t continuously pour down at a standard rate, but instead a single grain will come down. Then either a few seconds - or possibly a few minutes - later another grain will. I’ve tried lifting the hourglass to turn it over but it’s impossible. What is the hourglass? Why is it here? And what is it counting down to?
Elise, for the past few centuries there’s been written accounts of what you’ve described. The Ominous Hourglasses - as these timepieces - are traditionally called appear before people to warn them of an upcoming disaster. Carved into the base and columns of the hourglass should be imagery of some kind - falling leaves, snowflakes - something to indicate the season the disaster will occur. There should be other carvings as well to help you figure out what sort of disaster the timepiece is counting down to. Previously, a rifle was carved into one of the columns and counted down to a shooting. That said, there’s only a handful of times when the receiver of the hourglass has been able to interpret the carvings and then prevent the disaster. Some believe the carvings have a more cruel meaning - The Fates, in some form, mocking us for trying to know and change the future. That said, if you’d like help attempting to decipher the hourglass carvings - I know a specialist on the topic and I’m sure they’d be happy to help you.
That was our only quick question for this week. Next up, we have an extended edition of Today In Odd America, and then we’ll be back with Amanda on the line.
Today In Odd America
Today In Odd America we find ourselves in Davenport, Iowa. The year 1859. James Kheller walked to his tannery shop on River Street as the sun rose. When he neared his place of business he was hit by an unexpected sight. Across the street from his tannery there’d always been an empty lot. A small piece of undeveloped land. But now there stood a two storey brick building. It hadn’t been there the previous night when he’d closed shop.
James was taken aback by what seemed an impossible sight. But he approached the strange new structure to get a better sense of what it was.
The brick building had a wide display window and across it were painted three characters. E, W, and between them - an ampersand. As James pondered what the E&W stood for, a man in a grey tophat and matching overcoat came out the front door. “Hello, sir,” the man in grey said. “I see you’re admiring my shop. Might you like to come inside and see what we have to offer?”
James remained where he stood.
“Your store didn’t exist last night,” he told the man in grey. The man removed his hat and dusted off the top. As he did James saw the man’s left hand was missing its ring finger.
“The Grand Eastern & Western Coffee Company existed in my dreams last night,” the man in grey said. “And what Gilman Halifax dreams, becomes true.” He stepped closer to James - who in turn instinctively stepped back. He was afraid of this man- Halifax - him and his shop that materialized in the middle of night. Halifax gave a wolfish grin - delighting in James’ fear.
“Now sir, I insist you come inside my shop. I insist you start your day - start everyday - with some of my coffee. You’ll never find another substance so fine in the waking world.”
James was too afraid to refuse the man, and so he followed him in.
Despite its mysterious origins, The Grand Eastern & Western Coffee Company - or  E&W as it was more commonly called, was successful. Their coffee was good yet somehow cheaper than every other supplier in the river city. Three previously-existing Davenport coffee shops went out of business within the year - unable to match E&Ws prices. Meanwhile E&W opened a second location across the river on the Illinois side in Rock Island. Once again, the shop sprung up overnight. However the citizens of Rock Island were so delighted to have their own E&W they didn’t ask too many questions.
Some folks on both the Illinois and Iowa sides of the river complained of sleepless nights. Strange dreams of packing containers with a black sand like substance inside a dark brick warehouse. But no one of prominence had such dreams, and so those who complained went unheard. 
Gilman Halifax, despite owning these stores, was rarely seen in Davenport or Rock Island. He kept on the move - always traveling - scouting new locations to expand his operations. Davenport, Iowa was the perfect place for him to start his empire. He was easily able to journey by steamboat north and south on the Mississippi - from Minnesota to Louisanna. E&Ws soon populated towns all along the river. In 1869, the transcontinental railroad was finished. The Rock Island railway made it possible to travel virtually anywhere in the country - thus fulfilling the company’s name and promise - Folks from New York City to San Francisco began their mornings with Halifax’s coffee.
As E&Ws sprung up, the shops became larger and stocked more items. Sugar and candies, plates, flatware, canned goods. They became convenient locations to do the bulk - if not all - of one’s shopping. Other businesses that sold these same items suffered when E&Ws appeared in their towns. The Chicago Dispatch dubbed E&W - the dream of the average consumer, but the nightmare of the small business man. The newspaper ran several critical headlines of E&W and attempted to dig up the history of Halifax. One editorial from the paper went so far as to call E&Ws “...cancerous tumors spreading across the nation - threatening to rob America of its health, entrepreneurial spirit, and everything that made it grand.” But Halifax bought the paper. Instead of criticism The Dispatch then carried E&W coupons in every Sunday edition and never again spoke a negative word about the owner or his stores. Halifax would go on to purchase dozens of newspapers. When a paper was too big for him to purchase, he’d often sue it for libel or slander. His cases had little merit, but they had the chilling effect he wanted - newspapers stopped printing his name. That’s not to say papers stopped talking of Halifax entirely. No, they became more clever. Editorial cartoons portrayed him as a trickster salesman. The most famous such illustration labeled him “The Traveling Salesman.” The nickname stuck.
Despite the declining press coverage, it became impossible for the nation to ignore the plague of nightmares had by so many. Nearly one in a thirty Americans reported terrible and lucid dreams of working all night in dark brick buildings - filling shipping containers with black sand. But the nightmares were not equally distributed across all Americans. Newly freed slaves and immigrant communities, especially those that spoke little or no English, found themselves disproportionately affected by the warehouse and black sand nightmares.
Herman Peake, a man blinded while a slave on a Georgia plantation claimed he couldn’t see these nightmares, but could smell them. And they smelled like E&W coffee. He was not the only one to tie E&W to the increasing wave of nightmares.
A lawsuit was raised against The Grand Eastern & Western Coffee Company on behalf of the People of the United States. The case made its way to the Supreme Court. The year was 1880 and Justice Stephen Johnson Field refused to have the court hear the case - claiming that the founding fathers intended for the Constitution to rule over America - not the Land of Nod.
Sleep strikes were waged across the country. Strikers organized into large groups and made sure few were ever asleep at any given time - never enough to do any meaningful work in Halifax’s nightmare factories. Alongside the strikes, hundreds of E&Ws were vandalized. The shops nearly destroyed and their wares stolen. In some cases the shop’s coffee was used to help the sleep strikers stay awake. In an homage to the Boston Tea Party, coffee from the flagship store in Davenport was thrown into the Mississippi River.
Where the supreme court refused to act, congress felt the need to step in to stop the strikes, vandalism, and wakeful unproductivity that now plagued the nation. Legislation was hastily proposed and passed in both chambers guaranteeing the rights of all Americans to not be forced to perform dream labor. Rutherford B. Hayes signed the legislation into law.
One would think this newly-passed labor regulation  would spell the end of The Grand Eastern & Western Coffee Company, but no. Gilman Halifax merely changed tactics. The law said he couldn’t force Americans to perform labour in their dreams. But if he could get workers to agree to work under his terms - to strike a deal with him - then all was fair.
Much like when he first built his empire, Halifax traveled the country. He sought out the poorest and most desperate communities. He struck deals with them, and his coffee and wares were once again produced. His stores restocked. 
But Americans by and large rejected Halifax. E&Ws continued to be vandalized - their products stolen or destroyed. Meanwhile, newspapers Halfiax didn’t own once again characterized him in monstrous terms. The New York Times in 1892 referred to him as a “A specter haunting the country. The boogeyman of small towns across America - The Traveling Salesman.” 
The Grand Eastern & Western Coffee Company couldn’t continue with Halifax in charge. Decades before, it’d become publicly traded. Shareholders demanded Halifax leave his own company. He fought the calls for his registration at first, but before the beginning of the twenty century, Halifax conceded defeat.
Without Halifax, E&Ws once again became profitable. They continued many of their unethical business practices that began under their founder - disenfranchising labor, buying out the press to prevent criticism. But In the 1930s, they were sued by the federal government under newly passed antitrust legislation. They were forced to divide their storefronts, manufacturing, and media companies into separate businesses. 
In the 1970s, E&Ws were closing nationwide - Unable to keep up with the changing times and competition. By 2008 there was only one store left - their once flagship location in Davenport. That is - until the flood. The Mississippi River washed over downtown Davenport. This event caused massive damage to many buildings. But in the case of the first and last E&W - the flood waters seemingly swept the building away. Causing it to disappear from the earth - as mysteriously as it had once appeared. 
But what happened to Gilman Halifax, The Original Traveling Salesman? No one knows. At the turn of the 20th century he disappeared from the public. Newspapers at the time speculated about his absence - but no investigative reporter ever found a conclusive answer to where he went. A popular phrase from this era was - “Where is Halifax?” - meaning to invoke a question without a definite answer. 
Halifax’s disappearance is so complete that he makes little or no appearance in our history textbooks. I’ve searched through a dozen high school American history books. Halifax isn’t mentioned - even in passing - in eight of them. In three he’s noted as “a successful 19th century businessman…” without any further qualification. Only one textbook mentions his labor practices and the subsequent strikes and laws passed - though these are hastily summarized in two paragraphs. Beyond high school history books, there’s no academic or journalistic documents that explain where he came from or where he went to at the dawn of the 20th century. We might as well still use the phrase, “Where is Halifax?” today. 
And we shouldn’t be surprised then that a new figure has emerged wearing the mantle of The Traveling Salesman - someone darker and more dangerous than the original. We’ve been left without the weapons necessary to stand against him. Hopefully it’s not too late to learn the lessons we need to once again defeat this dark being. But I believe I’ve gone on long enough on this subject for tonight. Back to our main show.
ACT II
TIOA music fades out.
RYDER
And we're back. On the line we have, Amanda who -
AMANDA
(interrupts)
You said you had a solution to the black door. Something that'd get rid of it. Then you just-
RYDER
(interrupts)
Yes, I'm sorry, but you need to-
AMANDA
I don't need to do anything. You need to tell me why the door still follows me. Why it's here right now instead of a memory. You're supposed to be THE specialist for these things. If you can't help... I can't keep living like this. Not when there's an obvious solution that's been here all along.
A beat.
AMANDA
I've decided. I'll open the door. Tonight. I'm prepared to - if you're not able - or willing - to get rid of it.
RYDER
Amanda, you can't do that - you have no idea what will happen if-
AMANDA
(interrupts)
I know what will happen if I don't. The door will keep appearing. People will be possessed in my presence - attempt to hurt me. Or hurt themselves - while telling me to open the door. Last week. Last week the door appeared as I was walking into my apartment building. Across the street there was a little girl. She had the bad luck of turning at the wrong time.
Locking her eyes on the black door. She stepped into the street - into traffic - to get closer and to tell me to: "Open the door."
RYDER
Is she... is she alright?
AMANDA
Does it matter to you? Really? I have a thousand stories like that.
Amanda breathes heavily - frustrated.
AMANDA
We were supposed to meet - you said you had a solution. And then there's radio silence on your end - until now.
RYDER
Because I realized my solution would only make things worse.
AMANDA
There's no way whatever you found could make what I'm going through worse.
RYDER
Back when I called you - I called you too soon. I should have waited, but-
AMANDA
(interrupts)
It was right after the episode of your show - the one where your old friend called-
RYDER
Alec Byrd. I wouldn't exactly call him a friend. But yes. You're right. I called you immediately after. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I should have waited, thought things through more. That was wrong of me - to get your hopes up. But my hopes were up. As soon as he said he had my grandfather's knife - a knife that cuts through shadow - to sever shadow from flesh - I thought for sure I had something that could help you.
AMANDA
Because the black door is...
RYDER
Your shadow. At least in part. Shadow, mirror, memory, dream, spirit, and flesh. Those are the elements that comprise the dark metaphysics. All things supernatural are reducible to at least one of them. I don't know how - or why - but the black door is made of your shadow.
AMANDA
Did Alec not give you the knife?
RYDER
No, I have it.
AMANDA
Then why didn't you-
RYDER
(interrupts)
I'm explaining. I'll explain. When Alec called, he said he stole my grandfather's knife and cut his own shadow off in one of Ravenswood's courtyards. He then commanded it to find and kill me. Which, thankfully it didn't do.
A beat.
RYDER
But what became of this now autonomous dark being? Since Alec called, I couldn't get that question out of my head. How had his shadow existed independent of him for so long - and not get seen. Not be noticed at the greatest school of supernatural scholarship in the country?
AMANDA
Why do you think his shadow was still at your old school after all those years? Couldn't it have gone anywhere by that point?
RYDER
Ravenswood is fortified by tall stone walls. Walls that if you were to walk next to them, you'd notice two things. Ivy creeps over all the old barriers that separate the mundane world from the university. But in addition to the flora - there are runes carved into the stones. Runes meant to both repel and attract the otherworldly. To invite the unreal onto Ravenswood grounds - and then trap it once it's within. Alec severed his shadow in Ravenswood - and so his shadow would be trapped there. And more than that - My sister had a suspicion. She checked back to the date of his expulsion. Alec did what he did twelve days before the first beheading.
AMANDA
Beheading?
RYDER
There's been a series of them. They've happened at Ravenswood for years. Not only has the killer - long thought to be a supernatural entity - never been caught - but also never seen. I've always hated this nickname, but students, and faculty I'm afraid, call the killer: The Joyful Executioner.
AMANDA
And your sister realized this thing that's been killing students - supposedly at the best supernatural school ever - not only has it not been stopped, but faculty didn't even realize what it was? Some expelled kid's revenge shadow?
RYDER
Well when you reduce it like that - you trivialize several important-
AMANDA
(interrupts)
All I want to know is why if you have this knife that could cut the black door off me - why you won't use it.
RYDER
My grandfather couldn't control his shadow once it was free of him. Alec Byrd's shadow transformed into a monster that has haunted Ravenswood for decades, killing students, all while evading talented supernatural scholars and practitioners. The Black Door - we don't know what it is - not truly - where it leads, what it opens to. What would happen to it if we untether it from you? For all we know it'd become something like The Joyful Executioner for the whole world. We already know it can influence others. Imagine how much worse it'd become once it were unbound.
A beat.
RYDER
Amanda, you have to see the danger I'm laying out - understand why we can't severe the door from you. At least not yet. Give me time. Shadow magic... is elusive. Those who've mastered it tend to, well, remain in the shadows. They don't write scholarly works or bring their knowledge to light. But I believe with time, I could-
[From Amanda's end of the phone - there's the sound of a door opening.
The dark ambience that opens all episodes of our show is heard from Amanda's end.]
RYDER
Amanda you didn't.
AMANDA
I had to. The little girl I mentioned before.
When she stepped into traffic, all she said was, "Open the-" and the word "door" never came out her mouth. A car hit her. Every day that you can't help me - you're asking me to be complicit in some awful event. That girl wasn't the first to die because of the door. But you don't see the dead - this, to you - is an abstract problem to solve. You're an armchair detective. There's blood on your hands, but you don't see it. There's blood on my hands too for waiting so long. And I do see it. I see it all the time. And I can't wait any longer. I can't let my hands get any bloodier.
A beat.
AMANDA
All I see from the other side of the door is darkness. But far far off in the distance - there's a tiny pinprick of light. I wonder what'll happen if I go to it.
RYDER
You have no idea the consequences of what you're doing - you think your hands are bloody now - whatever will happen if you go through-
AMANDA
(interrupts)
Whatever those consequences are - if there even are any - maybe you'll treat them with some urgency now. The Traveling Salesman said you wouldn't be able to help me. I wish I'd believed him sooner. That little girl would still be alive. Goodbye, Dr. Ryder.
RYDER
Amanda, wait, we can still-
[There are footsteps. And the door shuts. The dark ambiance is gone.]
A beat.
RYDER
Julian, I don't know what you've set into motion. But whatever it is - it will fail. I promise you that.
A beat.
RYDER
That's all for tonight. I need to- I need to go make some preparations. You'll hear my voice again though - in another time, another place. This has been A Voice From Darkness - goodnight.
Outro Music.
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dustedmagazine · 4 years
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Dust Volume 6, Number 5
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Courtney Marie Andrews
The lockdown continues, and live music has disappeared, replaced by a somewhat antiseptic and unsatisfying spate of live streamed shows mostly one person with a guitar on the couch in their living room.  We salute the courage and the effort but miss bands and audiences and even the chatter drifting in from the bar area.  In the meantime, at least for now, there are still lots of new records vying for our attention.  We present this Dust to catch up with some of them.  It’s an ecletic survey of contemporary classical, vengeful hip hop, psyche, jazz, folk and metal artists, all continuing to try to navigate a very difficult period.  Our writers this time include many of the usual suspects, Bill Meyer, Ray Garraty, Jonathan Shaw, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jennifer Kelly, Tobias Carroll and Patrick Masterson.  
a•pe•ri•od•ic—For (New Focus Recordings)
for a•pe•ri•od•ic by a•pe•ri•od•ic
Silence is a rhythm, too, and a•pe•ri•od•ic dances to it repeatedly throughout their second recording. The Chicago-based ensemble has traversed the new music continuum, performing music by composers from Peter Ablinger to Christian Wolff. Sometimes that silence isn’t quite what you want to hear — the COVID-19 pandemic cut short its tenth anniversary spring season one concert too soon — but it proves to be rich loam from which to grow music on this CD. All four of its pieces were composed specifically for the group by individuals who recognize the merit of non-imposing sounds. That knowledge derives in part from the fact that three of the composers also perform with the group, but also from their long-standing engagement with post-Cage-ian and Wandelweiser material. Director and pianist Nomi Epstein’s descriptively entitled “Combine, Juxtapose, Delayed Overlap” feels like a ceremony intermittently perceived through an opening and closing door. Billie Howard’s “Roll” tucks the composer’s whispering violin behind muted French horn and voice, wringing intensity from the effort one must apply to following its retreating sonorities. Vocalist Kenn Klumpf’s “Triadic Expansions (2)” moves in the other direction, sprouting ivy-like from the slenderest branches of sound. By comparison, Michael Pisaro’s stately “festhalten/loslassen” is a veritable riot of unwinding tonal colors. As the decade ticks towards year eleven, rest assured that a•pe•ri•od•ic is searching for the next promising idea.
Bill Meyer
 Agallah — Fuck You The Album (Propain Campain)
Fuck You The Album by Agallah
This is a personal vendetta album. After more than 25 years in the game, Agallah has got to settle the score against the whole world. To say he just has a chip on his shoulder would an understatement. Thirteen songs of pure hate with the title quite properly reflecting its content. In his fight, the rapper strips down all the artistry, including the production. Known for making beats for other hip hop acts, Agallah here not only uses barely serviceable beats, he doesn’t even makes pretense he needs beats. Almost all the tracks work as a capellas. His gruffy voice and arrogant flow don’t need sonic support. And what support can you expect from the world full of phonies, liars, actors, pretenders, cowards and fair weather friends? “Stop pretending, my career is not ending,” he almost screams on “Telling Lies To Me.” If this CD feels like a dinosaur in 2020, then it says that it is not something wrong with this album but with the world.
Ray Garraty
 Courtney Marie Andrews — “Burlap String” single (Fat Possum)
Old Flowers by Courtney Marie Andrews
As the eponymous song of 2018’s May Your Kindness Remain amply demonstrated, Courtney Marie Andrews’ pipes are not to be fucked with. But while that was perhaps the most vivid depiction yet of her abilities, the Phoenix native’s delivery can be just as powerful on a muzzle. Such has been her approach thus far with what we’ve heard from Old Flowers, originally slated for an early June release but since pushed back to July (or beyond, who knows). The post-breakup lyrical territory was initially revealed with first single “If I Told,” but it’s the gently loping “Burlap String” I’ve had on repeat for much of the past month. Ever ended a relationship with someone and regretted it? Lush piano and a sighing slide guitar tell you Courtney has without her ever having to utter a word, and much of the song is an illustration of the internal conflict that lingers long after you’ve made the call. I’m inclined to write out the whole second verse here, but it’s the end of the third that lingers as Andrews evokes barely holding back tears: There’s no replacing someone like you. That ensuing pause runs bone-deep, its implication clear — no amount of Mary Oliver can save you from yourself.
Patrick Masterson
 Dennis Callaci — The Dead of the Day (Shrimper Records)
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Some albums could be said to hum. In the case of the latest from Dennis Callaci, that’s meant literally: many of the songs on his new album The Dead of the Day feature warm clouds of feedback or droning organ notes. It’s a companion piece to his recent book 100 Cassettes, which features thoughts on musical icons throughout the year. This album’s focus is more insular: some of the songs have a drifting, improvised feel to them. But Callaci also taps into some terrifically subdued songwriting veins here — “Broadway Blues Pt. II” recalls the haunted dub-folk of Souled American, and Franklin Bruno’s piano lends a propulsive dimension to the ruminative title track. And on “Scoreless,” Callaci teams with his Refrigerator bandmate (and brother) Allen Callaci for a song that slowly builds from acoustic foundations to something modestly grandiose. Contrary to what its title might suggest, this album feels very much like a document of one man’s life.  
Tobias Carroll
 Cameron / Carter / Håker Flaten — Tau Ceti (Astral Spirits)
Tau Ceti by Cameron / Carter / Håker Flaten
Tau Ceti is a planet that is hypothesized to be similar enough to Earth that it could potentially support similar life forms. The three musicians that recorded this tape may come not come from the same system, but they fall into a harmonious orbit around a common circumstance — they were all in the same swanky studio, Halversonics, on a particular winter day in early 2019. One supposes that whatever they were rotating, they move towards the source of heat, since Tau Ceti builds slowly from chill acoustic exploration to a fuzzed-out solar flare. As they progress, abstraction burns away and velocity increases. It’s a gas to hear Ingebrigt Håker Flaten and Lisa Cameron lock in behind Tom Carter’s increasingly gritty sound-bursts.
Bill Meyer  
 Tim Daisy — Sereno (Relay)
Tim Daisy - Sereno :: music for marimba, turntables and percussion (relay 028) by Tim Daisy
Sometimes the timing of even the most tuned-in drummer is foiled by external circumstances. Sereno was supposed to signal the end of an intense phase of solo practice by Tim Daisy. His intentions for 2020 included making an album of duets and writing music for two ensembles. But at press time he, like everyone else, is hunkered down with his family, and everything he had planned is on hold.  
Daisy’s stint as a primarily solo artist coincided with a reconsideration of identity; he wasn’t just a drummer, but a multi-instrumentalist and an orchestrator of electro-acoustic sound. Sereno is split between three elegiac marimba solos that showcase Daisy’s instinct for deliberate melodic development and five much denser constructions for imprecisely tuned radios, playing and skipping records, and Daisy’s strategically reflective drumming. If this record is the only new music that Daisy puts out this year, it leaves us with plenty to think about.
Bill Meyer
  Kaja Draksler & Terrie Ex — The Swim (Terp)
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On the surface, this looks like quite the odd couple. Terrie Ex Is a Dutch electric guitarist in his mid-60s who still goes by his punk rock name. He’s a ferocious improviser whose scrabbling instrumental attack incurs intensity from any ensemble that doesn’t want to get bowled over, and he knows more Ethiopian tunes by heart than anyone on your block. Kaja Draksler is a Slovenian pianist exactly half his age whose recent projects include a fast-paced, idiosyncratically balanced trio with Petter Eldh and Christian Lillinger, and an octet for which she sets Robert Frost poems to a combination of chanson, Baroque chamber music, and thorny free improvisation. But neither got where they are by letting fear deter them from a musical challenge, and both of them have a fine awareness that one way of understanding their respective instruments is that they are pieces of wood with wires attached. Given that common understanding of music as a combination of coexisting textures and assertive actions, they work together quite well on this CD, which documents a performance that took place at London’s Café Oto in 2018. Scrape meets sigh, jagged fish-hook pluck meets sparse wire-damped drizzle, instinct meets intuition, and when the disc is done, it’ll seem quite sensible to dive back in and swim the whole length in reverse.
Bill Meyer  
 Errant — S/T EP (Manatee Rampage Recordings)
errant by errant
Errant is the one-woman project of Rae Amitay. Some listeners of metal music may be familiar with Amitay’s work, as vocalist for death-grind-hybridists Immortal Bird and as drummer for the folk-metal act Thrawsunblat. For Errant, Amitay has created songs and sounds that have little in common with those other bands’ aesthetic extremities. “The Amorphic Burden” may prompt you to recall the melodic black metal that Ludicra was making toward the end of that band’s storied run, or the sludgy drama of Agrimonia’s most recent record. In any case, Errant’s sound skews toward more luminescent atmospheres. Production values are largely pristine; Amitay wants you to hear clearly every string and cymbal strike. It makes sense. She plays a bunch of instruments well, and that’s part of the point: that one woman is producing all the sounds, and all the affect. She ends the EP with a cover of Failure’s “Saturday Savior,” and it’s the least interesting thing on the record. But even there, she presents the listener with something worth hearing. Her clean vocals are lovely, disarmingly so. What may be most impressive about this early iteration of Errant is the extent of Amitay’s talents, and how those talents allow her to encroach on the hyper-masculine territory of the “one-man” act.
Jonathan Shaw  
 Field Works — Ultrasonic (Temporary Residence)
Ultrasonic by Field Works
Stuart Hyatt’s latest compilation in the Field Works series is an absolute beauty — and timely given it’s being released during a pandemic whose origins may be linked to bats. The field recordings that the contributors used to create the music on Ultrasonic come from the echolocation of bats, and the approaches tend towards rhythmic or atmospheric. At the rhythmic end of the spectrum we have Eluvium’s majestic opener “Dusk Tempi,” akin to his work on Talk Amongst the Trees. Mary Lattimore’s glimmering harp patterns are fitting accompaniment to the chittering bat sounds on “Silver Secrets.” And Kelly Moran’s prepared piano on “Sodalis” sends the listener down a hall of mirrors, chased by gorgeous bass tones. At the more abstract, atmospheric end of the spectrum we have Jefre Cantu-Ledesma’s radiant “Night Swimming.” Christina Vantzou blurs the line between the sounds of modular synthesis and bat sonar on “Music for a Room with Vaulted Ceiling.” And on Sarah Davachi’s “Marion,” the listener is immersed in a luminous halo of nocturnal overtones. Wherever the artists venture, this is a varied yet consistently evocative collection.
Tim Clarke  
 FMB DZ — The Gift 3 (Fast Money Boyz / EMPIRE)
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The Gift 3 was initially set to be released in December 2019 but was postponed until now. DZ’s “Merry Christmas, pussies!” on one of the tracks doesn’t sound so odd, though, because the whole world has plunged into a constant holiday. The new album continues two trends. It carries on the “ape” theme from the previous album Ape Season. “Ape Activities,” “Keep It on Me” and “No Features” are the grittiest tracks from a disc where the prevalent mood is a sick worry. DZ made it out of the hood but had to be on the lookout as the enemies are out to get him. The other trend is that The Gift 3 continues the ideas of The Gift series. The songs have a usual verse-hook structure, are poppier and more relaxed than on Ape Season. DZ, thankfully, doesn’t try to sing anymore but hires some singers on choruses. The hardest track here is “High Speed” with Rio Da Yung Og where Detroit/Flint duo spit vicious lines.
Ray Garraty
  Hala — Red Herring (Cinematic)
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Detroit multi-instrumentalist Ian Ruhala wears his heart dripping from his sleeve on “Red Herring” his latest record as Hala. Skipping from the yacht rock of “Making Me Nervous” to the country blues of “True Colors” via power pop, The Kinks and Tom Petty, Ruhala manages to create a thread with deceptively simple melodies and the sincerity of his delivery.  There’s more than a touch of Kevin Barnes in the voice and the delight in throwing genres at the wall to see what sticks and, like Barnes, some of it fails to adhere. The pleasure here is in the sense of eavesdropping on the process and reveling in unexpected flourishes that refuse to be ignored.  
Ruhala writes a smooth love song and isn’t afraid to turn up the guitar or address politics on standout “Lies” - “I’m eating breakfast with the fascists/Oh man they stand about ten feet tall/My mouth is bleeding at their proceedings/They get their courage through a plastic straw” It may not be Guthrie but he makes it work through a leavening wit and a mid-tempo vamp straight from the solar plexus. “Red Herring” suffers somewhat from its stylistic roaming but a fundamental big heartedness and willingness to reach makes it an enjoyable trip.  
Andrew Forell  
 Las Kellies — Suck This Tangerine (Fire)
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Suck This Tangerine opens with a loose groove and a grime smeared highlife guitar line, the voice enters with ironic invitations over choppy Gang of Four chords. In the new one from Las Kellies, Argentinian duo Cecilia Kelly and Silvina Costa sling taut bass lines and slash guitars over mutant disco rhythms for 12 tracks of slinky indie dance. Drawing on elements from Leeds, London and the Bronx, Kelly and Costa add dubby space and South American humidity to their sound, to elevate the album beyond the sum of its influences.  
Kelly handles guitar and bass, wielding the former like a cross between Andy Gill and Viv Albertine and unfurling loose funky serpents with the latter. Costa swings between ESG and The Bush Tetras and incorporates an array of hand drums that deepen and enliven the rhythmic pulse. There is a palpable and joyful chemistry between the two evidenced by their easy interplay and enhanced by the production that gives clarity and elbowroom to each instrument. If the lyrics can tend toward the perfunctory, they are delivered with a winking insouciance on put downs like “Close Talker” and “Rid Of You”.  Suck This Tangerine is a worthy addition to the growing collection of feminist post-punk inspired albums we’ve been dancing to of late.  
Andrew Forell  
 Mint Mile — Ambertron (Comedy Minus One)
Ambertron by Mint Mile
Silkworm, the band, may have ended in 2005 with the death of drummer Michael Dahlquist, but its legacy of slow, gut-socking heaviness, mordant wit and muscular guitar lives on, first in Bottomless Pit and now in Tim Midyett’s new band Ambertron. Midyett’s voice and clangorous baritone guitar is instantly recognizable, of course, to anyone who loved Silkworm, but the band diverges somewhat with the pedal steel played by Justin Brown of Palliard, weaving eerily though the slow buzz and moan of “Likelihood.” Jeff Panall, from Songs:Ohio, plays the hard, heavy drums that undergird these songs, giving them structure and forward motion. Other players include Matthew Barnhart from Tre Orsi and Horward Draper from Shearwater. Greg Normal of Bitter Tears contributes a mournful bit of trumpet to “Fallen Rock,” and Chicago alt-country mainstay Kelly Hogan takes the lead in “Sang.” The music is raw and morose; even dense strings can’t quite lift the gloom in “Christmas Comes and Goes,” a song as raw as late November in Chicago. And yet there’s a sort of resilience in it, a strength that comes through persistence. “If we could only find a way to bank the time we had together,” sings Midyett in “Giving Love,” his hoarse voice full of ragged loss, his guitar raging against it all and not quite beaten down even now.
Jennifer Kelly
 Gard Nilssen’s Supersonic Orchestra — If You Listen Carefully the Music Is Yours (Odin)
If You Listen Carefully The Music Is Yours by Gard Nilssen´s Supersonic Orchestra
Perched atop his drum stool, Gard Nilssen sits where styles converge. He’s supplied the controlled boil that drives the free-bop combo Cortex, laid down some heavier beats with Bushman’s Revenge and exemplified long-form lucidity with his own trio, Acoustic Unity. In 2019, the Molde Jazz Festival recognized his versatility and forward perspective by anointing him the artist in residence. Besides showcasing his ongoing projects and accompanying heavy guests from abroad, most notably Bill Frisell, he got to put together a dream project. This 16-piece big band, which includes members of Cortex, Acoustic Unity, and the Trondheim Jazz Orchestra, is it. With the assistance of co-arranger André Roligheten, Nilssen has taken some of his trio’s sturdy melodies and turned them into frameworks for boisterous but subtly colored performances. With three basses and three drummers, this could have been either a mess or an uptight game of “you first,” “no sir after you.” But the rhythm crew shifts easily between swinging unisons and refractory elaborations. Roligheten often plays two saxophones at once in smaller settings, and one suspects that he has a lot to do with the rich colors that the horns paint around the featured soloists.
Bill Meyer  
 Matthew J. Rolin — Ohio (Garden Portal)
Ohio by Matthew J. Rolin
The ghoulish image on the j-card belies the sounds encoded upon this tape. Matthew J. Rolin is a relative newcomer to the practice of acoustic guitar performance; the earliest release on his Bandcamp page was recorded in late 2017. But he’s catching on fast. Switching between six and twelve-string guitars, he serves up equal measures of ingratiating lyricism and immersive surrender to pure sound. Opener “Red Brick” slots into the former category, with a heart-tugging melody that keeps doling out turns that’ll keep you wondering where it’s going and backtracks that’ll ensure that you never feel lost. “Brooklyn Centre,” on the other hand, grows filaments of string sound out of a pool of prayer bowl resonance centering enough to make you cancel your mindfulness app subscription due to perceived lack of need. Rolin develops ideas situated between these poles over the rest of this brief set, which runs just shy of 28 minutes and definitely leaves one wanting a bit more.
Bill Meyer
 Nick Storring — My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell (Orange Milk)
My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell by Nick Storring
What Jim O’Rourke did for the music of Van Dyke Parks and John Fahey on Bad Timing, Nick Storring does for Roberta Flack’s on My Magic Dreams Have Lost Their Spell. The Canadian composer may not have O’Rourke’s name recognition or past membership in a very famous rock band going for him, but consider these parallels. He’s a handy with quite a few instruments, he’s an inveterate assistant to other artists across disciplinary lines, and he functions with equal commitment and fluency in a variety of genres. For this record, his first to be pressed on vinyl (albeit in miniscule numbers), Storring uses the lush string sound of Flack’s 1970s hits as a launching point for deep sonic immersions that are considerably more emotionally oblique than their inspirations’ articulations of loneliness and surrender. When he goes melodic, the cello-led tunes seem to reach for something that they never touch, and when he goes for slow-motion density, the music imparts an experience akin to watching the sort of cinematic experience where you can’t tell if you’re seeing a really slow take or the film has frozen at a single frame.
Bill Meyer
 Sunn Trio — Electric Esoterica (Twenty One Eight Two Recording Company)
Electric Esoterica by Sunn Trio
Sunn Trio, from Arizona, makes sprawling, multi-ethnic psychedelia that juxtaposes the scree and groan of heavy improvisational rock with the otherly chords and rhythms of the Middle East.  Opener “Alhiruiyn” slicks a trebly sheen over its surging, rampaging improvisations, more in the vein of Black Sun Ensemble than Cem Karaca.  But “Majoun” layers antic percussion and tone-shifting bent notes in a limber evocation of the souk.  “Roktabija The Promulgator” blasts a strident, swaggering surf riff, about as Arabic as “Miserlou” (which is, in fact, Arabic).  “Khons at Karnak” buzzes with hard rock aggression, but shimmies with belly dancing syncopation.  Because of the name, the preoccupation with non-Western cultures and the Phoenix mailing address, you might think that Sunn Trio is aligned somehow with Sun City Girls, but no.  All kinds of weirdness lurks in the desert out there, lucky for us.  
Jennifer Kelly  
 Turbo, Gunna & Young Thug — “Quarantine Clean” single (Playmakers)
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Despite the subject matter’s potential (ahem) virality, “Quarantine Clean” slipped out almost unnoticed in early April and is the kind of muted performance Young Thug doesn’t get enough credit for (while, curiously, his followers often get too much derision for). For all of Thugger’s hyperfluorescent hijinx over the years that have produced earworms like, say, “That’s All” and “Wyclef Jean,” there’s another side that shows up in stuff like “The Blanguage” and “Freaky” where he lets the words do the work; that’s the subterranean sonic world we’re living in here as he opines on God’s role in the pandemic and why he’s lost so much money but still has to pay for his parents’ penthouse (which: welcome to the revolution, pal). Thug’s acolyte in slime Gunna, meanwhile, does most of the song’s heavy lifting with duties on the first verse and chorus, but it’s pretty hard to tell the two apart, such is the slippery restraint both opt to exercise here. The real star, then, is beatmaker Turbo, whose buoyant anchor melody is complemented by what sounds like a lilting flute. It’s a light touch from all parties, a mellow mood well suited to our time of collective party-eschewing shelter. Run that back in prudence.
Patrick Masterson
 Various Artists—Ten Years Gone (A Tribute to Jack Rose) (Tompkins Square)
Ten Years Gone : A Tribute to Jack Rose by Various Artists
A decade on from the too early passing of the great American Primitive/blues/raga player Jack Rose, Arborea’s Buck Curran gathers friends, collaborators and younger artists inspired by Rose for a gorgeous tribute to the master. Mike Gangloff, who played with Rose in Pelt and Black Twig Pickers, leads off with a plaintive, sepia-toned fiddle lament (“The Other Side of Catawbwa”), while next generation experimental droner Prana Crafter closes with an expansive, space folk reverie (“High Country Dynamo”). In between, old friends like Sir Richard Bishop evoke Rose’s full-blown orchestral guitar playing (“By Any Other Name”) while young pickers like Matt Sowell take up the trail forged by Dr. Ragtime. Isasa from Spain and Paulo Laboule Novellino from Italy attest to Rose’s global appeal. It’s mostly guitar, but not entirely; Helena Espvall from Espers contributes a brooding, reverberant “Alcantara” on cello. Curran’s own “Greenfields of America (Spiritual for Jack Rose)” is slow and thoughtful, letting long bent notes ring out with liquid clarity; it’s a hymn and a prayer and a testimony to the wide influence of an artist gone too soon.  
Jennifer Kelly
 Emily Jane White — Immanent Fire (Talitres)
Immanent Fire by Emily Jane White
Emily Jane White gets tagged as a folk singer, but on this, her sixth full-length, the Oakland songwriter brings a fair amount of goth-tinged drama. Taut string arrangements and big booming drums lift “Infernal” well out of the woman-with-guitar category, and White sounds more like PJ Harvey or even Chelsea Wolfe than a sweet voiced strummer. Immanent Fire sticks, topically, to environmental concerns with track titles like “Washed Away,” “Drowned” and “Metamorphosis.” A foreboding creeps through the songs, pretty as they are, even piano lit “Dew” asks “Does poison drop like the dew?” Arrangements, by Anton Patzner, the composer, arranger and violinist of Foxtails Brigade and Judgment Day, give these cuts weight and heft, punctuating eerie melodies with thick swathes of strings, rumbling percussion and keyboards. The disc culminates in “Light” which begins in a whisper and climaxes in drum-shocked, orchestral swoon. Soothing background music it is not.
Jennifer Kelly
 Z-Ro — Quarantine: Social Distancing (1 Deep Entertainment / EMPIRE)
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An unexpected seven-track EP bears an expected title from a Dirty South legend. Z-Ro’s usual topics — trust and loneliness — gain a new meaning in the time of social distancing. To keep away women who only want his money is a necessary precaution now. To be at the corner at the party is a rule for survival. Z-Ro is on his ground counting his dough alone in the house. Earlier he did it so no ‘shife’ (the title of one of the tracks) friends could rob him, now it’s just to obey quarantine rules. The first half of this EP is a bit muddled by unnecessary intros and reggae tunes but the second one hits hard. As always with Z-Ro, the hardest content takes the gentlest form (“Niggas is Hoes” especially is almost a pop song). On the final track “Life of the Party” Boosie Badazz drops by, giving his verdict on the pandemic: “Fuck Corona!”
Ray Garraty
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sijjak · 4 years
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XYDO Impact Star May 2020 Interview
Normally, ‘X’ has a negative meaning, something that is prohibited. But artist Xydo’s first EP album ‘X’ walks a different path from this universal thought. Not only does he communicate and draw connections through the symbol ‘X’, but he even melted it together with his identity ‘X’ydo. Xydo has given ‘X’ a new life. While I was talking with Xydo, a new meaning was added to ‘X.’ An undefined infinity. That’s because Xydo is a free artist that tears down boundaries and strips away the old restrictions. With these activities from Xydo, it hints about the unlimited possibilities we can expect from him in the future.
I heard this is your first individual interview. It’s an honor to be the first.
X: I was really excited too. Because this is the first individual interview I’ve done since I entered my company GROOVL1N. Haha.
Let’s start with talking about your album. The album ‘X’ is your first formal EP. After its release, how was the reaction around you?
X: There was a lot of anticipation around me. When it came out, the reaction was good too. In particular, it was good because a lot of people recognised the intentions I had in the album. I cared a lot about each song. One person told me it was a ‘solid EP.’ It makes me happy when people say that it seems like good music was put into each and every song.
Among those, what was the reaction that left the biggest impression on you?
X: The fifth track is called ‘Hollow,’ and I really didn’t know that people would like it. It was completely outside of my expectations. It was a song I worked on alone for a long time, so honestly I didn’t think that it was going to go well. It was a song I put in as a connecting song, so I was really surprised a lot of people liked it.
Oppositely, as a listener, among the tracks it has a feeling that is unrivaled, so it’s a song where we can feel the most honesty. Sort of like it doesn’t have a full development. It must be because you’re the creator that the reaction to ‘Hollow’ was outside of your expectations.
X: I was really surprised. It’s not a genre I’ve done, songs with a heavy atmosphere. ‘Hollow’ has this toxic depressing sentiment, you know. But when people liked it, I thought “Oh? This kind of image must be okay too.” I tried to make every track primarily from my experiences and emotions, but as you heard, ‘Hollow’ has the most of my story. There have been toxic depressing days, so it’s a song I wrote in a fleeting moment during that day.
How long did it take for this album to be made?
X: I think it took around 4-5 months. Actually, this is the first time I’ve talked about this, but the track list we initially planned was completely changed. Everything. When I looked at what I had worked on, the mood and stories I had thought about weren’t coming out. The lyrics were particularly challenging. There was just a feeling that it didn’t touch me. Eventually I started again, and that took about 4-5 months.
After talking with you some, it seems like the emphasis of overall flow is your style.
X: That’s right. No matter if it’s a single or an album, it’s an ‘album’ so I think there has to be some sort of merit. Rather than just simply listening to one song, there are times where you have to listen to the whole album to know it. So there was emphasis put on the connections between tracks. If you listen, I think you can feel the flow and the story that follows.
That’s right. While you were explaining your album too, you talked about “connections and crossings.” I’m curious about the ultimate meaning of naming the album ‘X.’
X: The title ‘X,’ usually it means something that is prohibited, it’s a character that’s thought of as the embodiment of things you can’t do. But in a crossing or in a situation where lines meet, it makes an ‘X.’ Thinking about those other meanings of ‘X,’ it’s similar to the things I wanted to say about my album. Also, it’s the same as the first letter of my name, so I thought it blended naturally together with my identity. Like this sort of interpretation of ‘X,’ I think seeing other possibilities is good. Even the things that look ‘paradoxical’. I thought ‘connections and crossings’ was paradoxical. Because it can mean that things that meet have an end, and at the end there is another beginning. So to define all these things, I thought of the character ‘X.’ So even if it’s strange, my album name ended up becoming ‘X.’
It seems like the foundation of ‘X’ is ‘Love.’ The mood throughout the whole album has content that expresses the emotions you feel while loving someone.
X: I think more than a love story, they’re songs written about the doubt I’ve felt or my everyday emotions. We enjoy stories about the realizations that come after pain. But when I was making this album, I think it must have shifted to being about love rather than anguish through my worrying. I think this album was completed when I was really deeply worried. At its start, love is really beautiful and feels like a dream, but eventually the end will come. I felt this process was beautiful. In the face of this, I communicated the paradoxical meaning I explained earlier. It was fun unraveling this new way of telling a love story.
As expected, all the tracks follow that process. From the exciting beginning to the anguished goodbye, all these moods unfold. While ‘M.U.S.E’ is the first track that starts the album, it’s a song that paints the moment of falling in love for the first time. I’m curious about how this song came to be.
X: Everyone has fallen in love at least one time. It’s like that for me too. During that time, I think I really got a lot of inspiration from the other person. So this inspiration came to me, and when I was specially working with it, the word ‘muse’ kept coming to mind. It’s often said ‘you’re my muse,’ you know. The person you love carries that sort of existence. You feel that brilliant existence through this large charm. I wanted to be sure to express that in a song. So that’s how ‘M.U.S.E’ was created.
You seem like a person who treats emotions with subtlety. After coming out of GROOVL1N, you must have an unfamiliar image to the general public who’s getting to know you for the first time. The side you’re showing now is considerably different from music like ‘Asura’ you did together with Ravi. What kind of person is Xydo who shows all these different sides?
X: That’s right. There are a lot of people who ended up knowing me through ‘Asura’ or GROOVL1N. I think the color of the music I did together with the company artists matches me well. Speaking more precisely, it made me more diverse so that I could match well with the mood of a song. It was fun because of that. Haha. But including everything from GROOVL1N up until now, if you listen to the music I’ve released, the feeling is really different. Originally, I have a very positive personality and there are a lot of subtle sides to me. And I match my personality to the people I’m with. So a lot of people have said I’m different from what they expected. (laughs)
On one hand, this album called ‘X’ is full of your color, and exudes trendy sounds, melodies, and lyrics throughout. What sort of current trends are you following in the music industry?
X: Actually, when I make music, I don’t stick largely to trends. I think music industry trends themselves are started through the influence of special people. Until now, hip hop has secured its place in the mainstream, but I don’t know what genre will enter next. It’s fun to imagine from time to time ‘won’t a genre like this become popular?’ but that might not be right every time. When you look at it like that, I didn’t want to follow trends that are impossible to predict. Right now, R&B is on the rise in the music industry, but actually I think the boundary will become more ambiguous. There’s an atmosphere of just conveniently calling all genres ‘K-pop’ or ‘popular’ to the public.
That sort of genre boundary ambiguity, from this idea of fusion, I think GROOVL1N must have similar personalities. From idol turned hip hop artist Ravi, a lot of various artists have gathered.
X: That’s right. That’s one reason why I want to continue being with GROOVL1N in the future. Everyone is opening me up to diversity and newness. There are new opportunities too.
Xydo, you seem to set wide possibilities and then move past those. Whether it’s the boundaries around your singing style or collaborations, you seem to be tearing those down one by one.
X: I try to be like that. As I live, I have stereotypes and prejudices. Stereotypes and prejudices can trap your thoughts, you know. So as a creator, you end up being unable to make even more fun things. Those ‘eureka’ moments or extraordinary things, those come from places we might not even be able to think of. I feel like in order to do those sort of things, you have to tear down boundaries.
If you look at your social media, you seem to work together with a crew called Value Per Hour (V/hr). Can you introduce what type of crew this is?
X: There is an artist called E.viewz from Sony Music Entertainment. He’s a friend I’m close to like a soulmate. When I make music, he’s an artist who gives me a lot of help and has had a big influence on me. After talking with him for a long time, we thought about starting a crew. Looking at the like minded artists we gathered, we already have 9 people. Our biggest ultimate goal is ‘happily making music all together.’ If we’re different from other crews, it’s that we’re a little more systematic. All the members' attitudes about music is in itself professional, and by respecting each other, we create this sort of business state. If we meet in our everyday lives, we’re as close as we can be, but we’re the type that will definitely do work. This process took a little while to develop. It’s already been two years. I want to show even more good steps going forward with Value Per Hour.
Now I’m curious about your first connection with GROOVL1N.
X: Primarily, I was uploading songs and song covers on social media and SoundCloud.  Because of that, Ravi ended up hearing my music through social media. First he suggested we work together, and I thought it would be a good opportunity, so I readily supported it. Our work started with the song ‘Hoodie’ and of course, naturally we ended up having a musical exchange, and at that point, Ravi was in the process of creating a company. Ravi suggested first that I join the company. But at the time, I was in the middle of making a contract with another company, so at the time I couldn’t do anything but refuse. Eventually my relationship with the other company didn’t work out. I think because the musical direction I wanted to take didn’t match with them. So I spelled everything out with Ravi, and our thoughts matched well. I ended up learning that he’s a person with a good set of values. I had an experience being mismatched before, so I was more careful, but we really match well. So that’s how I ended up working together with GROOVL1N.
Now that you’ve worked together, how is it? Do you feel like you have gained enough trust in GROOVL1N?
X: Every moment we’re together, I feel trust. At first, there was this ‘CEO’ wall with Ravi, but gradually he showed me this very human side. We’re like friends of the same age. We’ve talked a lot about music, and while we’ve worked together, I think we’ve gained trust naturally. Looking at it now, I ended up opening up too. We tend to be honest to each other about things that will help the other person. I think those conversations lead both of us in better directions. I feel it as time goes by. Right now GROOVL1N is as good as it can be. Haha.
What sort of synergy do you expect together with GROOVL1N?
X: First, I think increasing the influence of myself as an artist. I hope that I can do more global activities together with GROOVL1N. When I work together with my friends from the company, I can do the things I do well, but it’s a good thing to be able to take on the challenge of doing things I don’t know too. I think it’s really fun. Like ‘Asura’, ‘Knife Dance,’ ‘Goddess,’ I hope there are even more things I haven’t done that we’ll be able to do together. Now, as expected I think the synergy with the other members is good, but going forward I’m anticipating more various artists to enter. I think I’ll enjoy the stage too. I want to make fun music. Doing work enjoyably is good, as you know. Haha.
Xydo, with your free thoughts, how would you explain your identity?
X: I don’t tend to like to be limited. I want to try a lot of different things. To put it simply, I don’t want people to know my identity. Like, “what is he doing?” (laughs) I hope people are endlessly curious. Not a person who does defined music, but a person who peaks curiosity every time, like ‘what will Xydo do this time?’ This is my identity.
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drunklander · 5 years
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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 412
Only one more week until Droughtlander, y’all! To start with the positive, I fucking love the Murgsali parts of this episode. Seriously, I know I sound like a broken record but saving Murtagh was literally the best choice this show has made. I would watch the shit out of a spin-off of just that trio’s adventures. Germain can come too.
I still can’t muster a single fuck, flying- or otherwise, to give about Roger. So basically this episode was pretty much like every other episode. I loved some shit, hated some shit, and overall came away with the lingering question of why I still spend so much time on a show that’s barely recognizable as the one I used to fucking love.
At least Dry January is still going strong. Quite proud of myself about that, tbh...
Roger: *runs the gauntlet* Marie Kondo: Does this spark joy? Me: Absofuckinglutely.
Guys I fucking love the Murtagh and Fergus relationship. I love it so fucking much. I cannot wait to see where that goes next season, especially since they’re all headed to live on the Ridge now.
And since this episode isn’t focused on LJG being in love with Jamie, I’m so here for him in this episode. I swear this show gives me whiplash with its characters. Like it’s not a “people are complicated” sort of thing. It’s a “crappy trope that needs to go away” or a “they just did something out of character, wtf” sort of thing.
I get Jamie not wanting Bree to murder Bonnet. I totally understand him not wanting her to have to live with taking a life. But I’m not fully on board with the whole “you need to forgive” stuff. Both here and in the book. Holding hate in your heart will eat away at you and prevent you from moving forward, sure. But you can put things behind you without forgiving the people who wronged you. What Bonnet did to Bree was fucking awful. He’s completely unrepentant. If Bree wants to forgive him, fine. It happened to her, so it’s her call and no one else’s how she should proceed. For me personally, I don’t think he’s worthy of forgiveness. I wouldn’t forgive him if it were me. I’ve thankfully never been in that exact situation, but I’ve been through my own shit and honestly, I’ve chosen not to forgive some people, because that’s asking me to not only endure what they did but also do the emotional work of forgiving them when they’re not sorry. That’s asking a bit too much, imo. Just put them aside and move on, it comes with its own sort of acceptance and peace. Each to their own, I guess.
“This man cannot be good. He was sold by his own people.” I mean, where’s the lie, haha. Yeah he was sold for the wrong reasons, and it’s never ok to SELL SOMEONE INTO SLAVERY (FFS!), but yes, Roger’s a twatwaffle.
“You have learned nothing.” The Mohawk elder speaks the truth, tbh.
Kaheroton telling Roger that he should not smile upon Johiehon had me like yaaas. Sure, Roger’s starved for human kindness or whatever, but like he’s also a chronic inappropriate interact-er with women/crush haver. Like he literally becomes a minster because people think he’s having an affair with one of the Ridge widows. He gets himself hanged because he kisses his great-great-etc.-grandmother. He’s creepily into Claire. I am so here for him being called out for being a fuckboi, haha.
This show is two for two in failing to make me care about rando fallen priests.
Marsali seeing right through Fergus’ attempt at blaming Germain and seeing exactly what he’s up and being like fuck yes, let’s do this thing is my fucking favorite.
I LOVE MARSALI A LOT OK. I AM FUCKING RIDE OR DIE FOR THAT WOMAN.
Y’all have I mentioned how much I fucking love Fersali? Because I fucking love Fersali. They remind me of what Claire and Jamie used to be. *pours one out for the couple that was*
Question though, are we assuming that Fergus knows all about Wentworth because they told him about it after he was raped for Jamie’s story in season two? Getting rull tired of being expected to fill in a bunch of shit that should be shown...
But man, I am so fucking pumped for them to move to the Ridge. I hope it means we get much more of them next season.
I know I’m biased because I have a lot of Opinions about organized religion but basically all this stuff with the priest has me just rolling my eyes. Like cool for him that he like believes in stuff, but also like, do what makes you happy, bruh? You only have one life? *exercises what little self-restraint I have to not go off on a ramble that ties this whole plot line into how being raised Catholic really fucked me up*.
I literalol’ed every time they show Roger trying to fucking Shawshank his way out of the fucking Idiot Hut. Like bro. This thing is made of leaves and branches. Just fucking snap the string or whatever is holding the branches in place and shift them enough to make a hole to squeeze out of.
The Idiot Hut is aptly named.
So in this episode, handfasting means they’re married again. I cannot even with how frustrating it is that this show can’t make up its mind about what it means.
This whole speech of Roger’s about how he’s an idiot is like yeah, no shit, Sherlock. You’re a fucking douchecanoe.
By the end of it, it comes off like he’s the guy from You. Like yeah, you didn’t deserve to be sold into slavery, but buddy. You’re not the victim in your relationship with Bree here. You might not be a serial killer, but your inner Joe Goldberg is showing...
“Like an idiot, I pursued her through time and space, determined to prove to myself and the universe that I did love this woman, just like all those great love stories written by all those great idiots.” Red flag number one, you wanted to prove to yourself and the universe that you loved Bree, but not prove it to Bree? The one person you’d think you’d want to make things right with?
"I pursued her and chased her and finally tracked her down and convinced her to marry me.” Holy fucking stalker, Batman. This comes off as the opposite of romantic. Get yourself a restraining order, Bree!
“We said angry words to each other.” That’s a funny way to say “I was a complete fuckwad to her,” Rog.
“I intended to go home, but then I changed my mind and went back, like an idiot.” Sorry not sorry, but if I were ever with a guy who thought choosing to be with me made him an idiot, I’d fucking run for the hills.
The writers clearly think this is supposed to be like endearing us to Roger and his love of Brianna but really it’s just making him seem like a fucking toxic stalker who’s convinced he’s a Nice Guy™. Roger just keeps channeling his inner Frank. He wants his personal ideal of a relationship with Brianna, with no thought to what she herself wants. He’s fucking repulsive, just like Frank was (even pre-stones). So naturally the show wants us to root for him. *wishes it were February so I could have a drink*
Uh, buddy? Do you know Johiehon wants to leave with the priest? Or are you just being you and assuming/not caring what the woman feels/wants for herself?
Fun fact, we’re still with these idiots in their Idiot Hut and I still can’t muster a single fuck to give about either of them.
Don’t @ me that I’m a dummy because I’m missing the deep and meaningful and yada yada whatever bullshit that they’re doing with these scenes. I know what they’re trying to do. It’s not working for me. At all. Sorry not fucking sorry.
#TeamBadFan5Eva
If we forget about the blackmail and rape threat and creepy being in love with her dad, I’m 10000% more invested in Bree and LJG’s fake engagement than I am in Bree and Roger. But jfc, that’s a lot to be asked to forget.
I’m still not really here for the Bree side of the prison stuff, but the Fergus and squad rescuing Murtagh part is excellent.
I really wish they would have put a definitive end to Bonnet in this episode. Ed Speelers does a great job with him, but he’s honestly not an interesting enough character to merit sticking around as long as he does in the books. Like if we have even more condensed seasons five and six, why the fuck can’t we just be done with him now?
FUCK YEAH FERGUS AND HIS REGULATOR SQUAD!
I hated Bree visiting Bonnet in the book and I really hate it here too. Like yes, if this is what Bree wants and she thinks it will help her, then great. She gets to decide what she wants to do. But this whole comforting your rapist thing just reeks of a fucking woman doing fucktons of emotional labor for the sake of the person who caused her so much fucking trauma. Literally the only part of this scene that remotely works for me is when she gets angry and tells him that he will be forgotten. Like, he’s a sociopath and he gives no shits about you or what he did to you. Why are you trying to make him feel better? I know it’s supposed to be for her, but that’s not how it plays to me...
Le sigh.
I fucking love the scene with Lord John and Fergus. Fucking love it.
(I’m guessing we’re supposed to assume that Fergus and Lord John met in Jamaica at the party in a bit we didn’t see? I think it might have been mentioned at some point, but I can’t remember specifics...)
Murtagh and Lord John fighting over who’s going to take Bree and then agreeing on what’s best for her? Here. For. It.
Y’all, I just want a whole show about this exact squad. Jamie and Claire are so meh now that it’s tough to be invested in them anymore. Roger’s still the fucking worst. But this squad. This squad is my fucking JAM.
But for real, why did we not get a scene where Bree meets Fergus and Marsali. Because this prison break is literally the first time we’ve seen them together and we don’t even know if they’ve met before. You’re killing me show.
Since Murgsali is moving to the Ridge, we’d better get a bunch of Bree and Jem with Marsali and Germain and Fergus next year.
This whole monologue of Roger’s as he’s deciding what to do is supposed to be like showing that he cares for people more than himself (despite his whole creepy spiel in the Idiot Hut) or some shit but like he’s just again ignoring what someone told him to do because that’s his MO. He’s like constantly playing the martyr card when no one even wants him around. Fuck off, Roger.
This priest and his girlfriend honestly don’t merit the amount of screen time they got. Like cool that Roger puts him out of his misery or whatever, but also this is the second to last episode so why the fuck are we spending it on two randos we don’t care about? Because it’s Outlander. So of course this is how we’re spending it.
Johiehon throwing herself into the fire is supposed to be like romantic and shit or reminiscent of Claire offering to die with Jamie at Culloden or whatever, but it really doesn’t work for me. Because honestly, she deserves better. The priest could have chosen to be with her but he picked his faith instead. So why should she die for a man who made her his second choice.
Also like, Kaheroton crying also comes off as creepy because like, dude she just wasn’t into you. Him being upset that Johiehon died doesn’t play like him being sad that a woman from his village killed herself, it comes across like the guy who was “friendzoned” (don’t get me started on that concept...) being sad the woman he was fixated on is gone so he doesn’t have a chance (he never had a chance) with her anymore.
But hey, remember how awesome Murgsali is? Murgsali is the fucking best.
MURGSALI 5EVA!!!
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burntheupholstery · 5 years
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i was wondering if you're the person everyone is ranting on about twit haha at first i was also pissed because i love lwj as a character, but reading your post...you actually make a lot of sense. I've had this feeling too that canon pair is too perfect. lwj is good but all of his motivations are driven by his love for wwx which is tbh not healthy. like, the author created his character solely for the purpose of being with wwx. nothing we can do about it since the novel is about them -
and i feel like the fandom is so unaccepting of other wwx ships and would even go as far as saying ships with no foundation whatsoever is better than this angsty ship that was doomed by the author hahaha some people think people only ship jc/wwx bec of the donghua but what they fail to realize is this close relationship exists even if it’s not written word for word. and their relationship is more natural imo
wow a mini-celebrity *poofs my non-existent curls*
but seriously now i know it’s refreshing to hear a nuanced argument after all this bit-sized knee-jerk arguments *smh
I don’t have a twitter so I don’t know (thankfully that means I don’t have to deal with it), and friends have told me about this before. I could not give less fucks. if they have an argument to make, my inbox is open.
to me, lwj’s love borders on unhealthy obsession (he’s just shy of it turning into obsession, tbh), and if that was just pointed out and acknowledged in-text I would not have been so darn salty about the canon pairing, and would’ve supported them so much more. contrary to popular belief (it seems) I am very glad at the visibility and popularity of a gay couple on chinese state tv.
but, like. what a pairing to start off on. 
idk, maybe heaven official’s blessing would be healthier? there isn’t a jiang cheng figure, according to what I’ve heard.
I think there might be some merit to that:
like, the author created his character solely for the purpose of being with wwx.
I haven’t ghosted lofter in a while, I should go back and poke around.
as for the donghua — wow are you serious. almost all the xiancheng fans I found on lofter shipped these two from the novel alone. tbqh I can’t see it in the donghua, you know. that scene — the declaration that they’ll be the Two Braves of Yunmeng (forgive my changing translations) — doesn’t sit right with me. and imo their relationship is much better elaborated in the novel, probably because the medium of a novel lends itself better to detailed character interactions, as opposed to the donghua, which has a large sprawling story to tell in a limited amount of frames.
But I suppose given what happened in the first ep, and the ridiculous close-up of JC’s lips as he scowls … 
and YES PREACH their relationship is SO MUCH MORE NATURAL
and is also, by the same token of their familiarity with each other, canonically impossible
*wails in a corner*
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