#but also are all my cousins etc even coming?? do they even have passports?? are they willing to get passports for my wedding??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

battery-forgot · 3 years

Text

Now, I come mid-week to give you all of my DSMP/MCYT headcanons because I have many

Don’t mind if these are repeated, misspelt, or has no logic, it is block game things and I am not checking over them-- and some will be organized, and some will be random, some might not have a Enter space because these are all ctrl c + ctrl v’ed from a Discord server I am in :]

Skeppy headcanons: Skeppy is 4 billion years old as scientists have thought that is how long ores and diamonds existed for

Skeppy's species is pretty rare

Every diamond that is broken or damaged causes Skeppy to feel a physical pain in his body

His species has lamp tail as they don't have night vision, some of them also have tiny wings that aren't usable, though they can kinda glide short distances with them

Because of his small height, he has taught himself magic to be able to change size, it can hurt him if he goes taller than 5'3, but he is able to get to Foolish's height if he tried

Sometimes random crystals grow on Skeppy's face, though they look different from normal crystals and can be used for things like explosives, though he doesn't know about it

Techno has seen Kristen but doesn't remember it well, though Kristen gave him his crown as a gift

Techno has a collection of skull masks that he has worn, he wears the skulls because of nostalgia now but he used to wear them because he thought they were cool and made him look threatening

Technoblade, Skeppy, Sam, Ranboo, Michael(the son- not Michaelmcchill), Phil, Bad, and some others really like shiny and golden objects

DreamSMP theme/"timeline" is kind of like a steampunk like thing

Drista is DreamXD's sister and DristaXD is Dream's "sister", though they aren't really siblings as they are robots

Drista and DreamXD are clones of DristaXD and Dream, though they actually look nothing alike

Callahan is a mute mini-god that everyone knows exists but doesn't really understand they are a mini-god. They kind of just chill and do what people ask them to do

Phil: Phil is more into traveling than anything else

Though he doesn't mind being a father figure, he doesn't think he is a good one especially after he killed Wilbur

He is able to turn into the size of a crow, though since his wings are now unusable, he doesn't do it as often as it is basically useless

Phil sometimes takes bird baths, though I guess they are always called that-

He has bird legs/talons,but they aren’t fully noticeable

joke headcanon I thought of is that Phil's handwriting is chicken-scratch because he is half-crow

Phil has really good memory, as a crow would

-DreamXD is actually pretty weak in powers, but he acts like he is the strongest person in the server

-Tommy's eye is just completely gone from when Dream killed him, but he covers it with an eyepatch

-Tubbo talks about things to Ranboo thinking he'll forget them, but some stories Ranboo remembers but doesn't speak about it because he doesn't want to make Tubbo worry too much

-Philza wasn't willing to kill Wilbur so Wilbur forced Phil by grabbing his arm and impaling himself

-Dream and Techno sometimes share stories about having ADHD

-Phil didn't really know about Fundy, he knew he existed but had no idea to how he acted, looked, or his actual name

-Wilbur had a letter written to Fundy about how he was sorry for what he was gonna do during November 16th, but the withers blew it up before Fundy knew about it

-Fundy doesn't let anyone hold his hand because it makes him remember the past where he would hold Wilbur's hand a lot

-Change of headcanons: Schlatt and Puffy are cousins, Tubbo was just a random kid that would follow Schlatt for hours a day, waiting for him to acknowledge him

-Dream jumps into the lava in the prison as it reminds him of Sapnap

-Bad was uncomfortable when Sapnap married Big Q and Karl because he went on a date with Quackity before but he still supported them (Yes I know Big Q basically had a divorce with Sap and Karl--)

-Skeppy knows a lot about other's pasts because of how old he is, even traumatizing facts

-Skeppy has a fear of fire (Pyrophobia) and he is kind of scared of Sapnap

-Dream used the revivebook on the cat Tommy killed, but Sam killed it thinking Dream would use the cat against Sam to escape quicker in the future

-Dream doesn't *fully* know why he is in prison, ever since Tommy and Tubbo killed him, a wire/chip broke in his body which made him forget a lot of things. Dream does get told what he had done a lot, but it makes him almost have a panic attack because he thought he was a pretty good person

-Ghostbur is Callahan, they were commanded by DreamXD to become Ghostbur so that everyone could feel like he was still there (Callahan can change who they are completely, but they don't actually know how they acted when as Ghostbur, though that doesn't mean he didn't know what happened, when Dream killed/revived Ghostbur, Callahan got to see what it felt like to die for the first time)

-Fundy has the habit of picking up things and using them at some sort of fidget (examples: knives, leaves, grass, wood, pencils, berry stems, etc.

-Ranboo will be writing/saying something about someone and use pronouns instead of their name or just with the person's name (example: "Puffy she/her was--" or "he/him writing down things") [Basically canon-]

-Tubbo used to headbutt people but stopped after around 2 years because he kept hurting people

-Phil used to squawk randomly when he was a kid, but he mainly just squawks when hiccuping now

-Even though Bad used to get really nervous picking people up because he was afraid he was gonna drop and kill them, he now just picks up everyone randomly... except Foolish and Ranboo

-Foolish is able to shrink to around 7ft, and unless he is building a big build, he will shrink so he can get around easier

-Because Ranboo is only half enderman, he isn't the full height of an enderman (He is only 8'5)

-If someone asks Charlie about his pronouns, out of confusion, he just responds with "Bones!" which sometimes leads Las Nevadas members (or just anyone really) calling him by He/it/Bones

-When Bad was being controlled by the egg, it made him get even more flashbacks about how his species was supposed to act which would end up with him panicking because that isn't who he wants to be (bonus: The more a member infected by the egg would panic, the more the egg would be able to take over the person because they can't focus)

-Kristin has taught Phil how to do makeup in their free-time of hanging out

-Kristin is insanely tall, if she shrinks then she turns more transparent, so she ends up looking more like a ghost when at average height

-Skeppy can't cry, though he still can feel sad

-Bad and Eret talk to eachother quite a lot

-When Tubbo was around 11-14, he would make redstone contraptions, though he doesn't remember how to make most of them now

Ranboo doesn't like photoshoots because he feels like everyone is staring at him, though this does mean he just doesn't have a passport photo, his alternative was to draw what he looked like on the passport but they didn't allow it, as well as Ranboo doesn't really remember what he looks like anyway because they don't like looking in mirrors--

I think this is half-canon but another headcanon is where every SMP is just an island far away from others. In this case, Hermitcraft, 30 day SMP, and other SMPs are all linked up, as for people who are in multiple SMPs, they travel around by boat for awhile, now, the thing I've just not figured out is how tf their look magically changes-like- outfit is decently obvious-- but do they magically transform like an anime girl? Idk-

Skeppy's voice randomly glitches out, is there an actual reason for this? No.

Quackity’s outfit is similar to Sub Urban’s (In Freak)

Skeppy acts as if he is royalty, he doesn't act rude or demanding unless joking- but he does act as if he is the superior person-

-Skeppy and Slime are the only "people" that don't have steampunk styled clothing because of how old they are

-Skeppy's hair grows insanely quickly and no one knows why, he honestly hates it

-Most of Skeppy's outfits have been made by Bad or Puffy

-Skeppy knows DreamXD as if he is a brother, but he despises him because of something that has happened around 3,000 years ago

-Skeppy has a lot of different shades in their hair on the "inside"(like- the side where his neck is is what I mean, I don't remember if it has a name or not-)

-Like I've said before, Skeppy's eyes are crystallized, but they are somewhat transparent, not enough to where you'd be able to see the inside of his head, but they are still transparent

-In the past, Skeppy didn't like their name which is why they called himself "Skeppy"

-He has an attachment to caves

-When Skeppy was a kid, they had the dream of him filling cave walls with houses of their own

-Skeppy goes by it/they/he

-Skeppy joke flirts with Bad all the time to confuse everyone, Bad doesn't like it because then everyone thinks they are dating which makes him feel a little uncomfortable

-Out of boredom, in the past, Skeppy would climb on the roofs of caves, hang upside down, and try and sleep like a bat

-They have no blood in his body, it is literally just a diamond covered with a thin layer of skin and hair

-Skeppy gets stressed out easily when it comes to learning because it just reminds him of everything he had to get used to as the billion of years he lived went by

-Skeppy used to not be allowed out into the open world, the first time it experienced going outside was when it was 2 billion years old

-Skeppy has accidentally caught things on fire during the day because of the reflecting of the sun, but even then, they are nocturnal so they don't really have to worry about it

-Wilbur adapted to hanging out with Sally in the water, he has some gills, but he can only breathe underwater for a bit longer with them

-Skeppy always has the equivalent of Diamond (armor) except when he was infected by the egg, he was equivalent to the strength of a Ruby

-Infected Skeppy has a redstone glow when touched, so when hugged(or hive fived- or- yeah you get the point), he would give a subtle glow around him until let go

-The Eggpire still can be controlled, but they are able to control it unless angered/upset

-Skeppy was 6ft when infected, now he is 3′9 un-infected

-At this point, Dream likes the prison because he sometimes feels safe there, like no one can hurt him

-DristaXD is more of a ghost robot than an actual robot

-DristaXD's hobby is murdering people and has basically been in some sort of jail before, she has broken chains around their ankles and hands, it seems to have been made of a really strong material as wel

-Sapnap used to have fire wings, but when he had to get extinguished, they disappeared, they are still there, they just aren't visible until dunked in lava and Sapnap can't use them anymore

-Infected Bad still took care of Sapnap, but Sapnap never cared

-Sapnap takes the name "lava cake" too seriously... though he thinks the literal lava cakes he makes taste good

-Puffy's hair has been dyed blue by Ghostbur before because he wanted people to remember Friend if they ever disappeared

-Going with my Ghostbur as Callahan hc, when Ghostbur was killed, Callahan kind of glitched between realities and so Ghostburs body glitched from Callahan's body and Ghostbur's then just disappeared. Callahan is still alive but they randomly glitch into different realities, he has glitched into places Karl has gone, including The Inbetween.

-When Ghostbur was glitching back into Callahan after killed, it shocked and concerned Dream

There you go :]

#dreamsmp #dreamsmp headcanon #skeppy #badboyhalo #dream #dreamxd #philza #Callahan minecraft #Ghostbur #Fundy #Wilbur #captain puffy #Sapnap #Quackity #mcyt headcanons #Ranboo #Tubbo

55 notes · View notes

whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years

Text

Thursday 2.. June 1836

9 40

11 55

- No kiss A- very low I heard her crying but took no notice did not seem to awake till eight thought I we must be off kept her in bed talking gently she took two pills last and did not like her getting up merely to be starved or not knowing what to do - out from 10 ½ to breakfast at 10 55 Robert Mann + 3 and Frank and 2 carts carrying clay from carriage court to finish making up at the back of the farmyard - Samuel Booth helping John to set potatoes at the back of the farmyard - took Robert to the Lodge to shew him about laying the stuff cut down from the steep bank Wood + 4 began it yesterday afternoon - A- cut out night things for me, and I out at 11 ¾ - with Booth and his men at the road wall in front of the house - told him I should have 15 horse power to spare - to get me a good tenant - to get to know what I could let power for at Listerwick - he agreed that it was worth £20 a year per horse at H-x, it should be worth £15 here - H- thought £800 would build a good mill for 15 horse power - told him to consider about a baring at A-‘s Hipperholme quarry - then went [civilly?] to tell Mrs. Aquilla Green I hoped the 2 new cottage tenants at Mytholm would not incommode anybody - they talk of sending their oldest little boy from home - I advised St. Bees in Cumberland - she thinks Mr. Norris will have upper brea etc - I said I would give the worth for the Redbeck cottages and land - she to remember that and tell her husband and not let the property be given away - stood a long while talking - just peeped into the front Mytholm cottage the plasterer plastering it - met George coming for me at 2 ¼ - a minute or 2 at the wheel-race - home at 2 ½ - A- and I dressed - Mr. Musgrave came at 3 25 and staid ½ hour - administered the sacrament to my aunt A- myself Oddy Cookson, Rachel Sharp and George - A- and I then rechanged our dress and went out at 4 20 and came in at 5 ¼ told Booth to move and reset the sink in the mytholm front cottage the 1st thing in the morning and let me pay him separately and immediately for that bit of a job - then A- and I went to the meer-drift head in the walk, and then to the Conery along the sort of footpath made last week (the sod pared off and thrown close up against the hedge) along the Conery Ing hedge (between hedge and railing) - Matty not at home - came in at 4 20 there being a spitting of rain - wrote all the above of today - and wrote and sent this evening as follows to ‘Messrs. Hammersleys and c° Bankers London’ ‘Shibden hall Thursday 2 June 1836. Gentlemen - Being under the necessity of postponing my leaving home for the continent five or six weeks longer, I shall be much obliged to you to forward any letters you may have for me, as also, if you have received it, the small parcel I ordered to be sent to your care by Messrs. Rogers of Sheffield - I shall also be much obliged if you will be so good as get my passport signed by the Saxon minster - I am gentlemen your obedient servant A. Lister’ had just written so far of today at 5 55 - had Mr. Husband a few minutes - he brought Mr. Harper’s order for £118.1.0 for Mark Hepworth for carting here from Northgate 1574 yards of soil at 1/6 per yard - and having forgot to give Booth a money-order Husband himself made out and brought Booth’s bill for the clow at the meer £17.10.7 - Mr. Harper had seen the bill and thought it very moderate - dinner at 6 ¼ - A- did her French from 8 35 to 9 55 looking over my clothes - assorting out things for the journey - then with my aunt 25 minutes till 10 30 fine day but dullish and an appearance of rain - a light at 1st then smartish shower from 5 ½ to 6 - I see we must get off from home as soon as we can - immediately after the rent day - A-‘s 1st rent day 11 July - can we get off on the 13th? thinking today, it would be well to steam it from Hull to Hamburg and thence post it (of course, our own carriage) to Berlin, Leipzig, Dresden, Töplitz, Carlsbad, to Vienna etc home by Paris - on going to bed found my cousin was come gently

2 notes · View notes

psycheswritings · 4 years

Text

Nothing’s Fair in Love and War - Three

Title: Nothing’s Fair in Love and War Fandom: Peaky Blinders Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Daphne Scott (OFC) Warnings: Swearing, I guess. Word Count: 5019 Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Life has been a bitch this week and I was hating everything I wrote. Thanks to everybody that liked and commented on the fic, honorary mentions to @blues022, @livingmybestfakelife, @livvtheangel and @stressedandbandobessed7771 - thank you all for taking your time to review this, it makes my heart swoon with happiness. @livvtheangel kindly asked for me to add some kind of separation between the scenes to make it easier to read, I have already done it on the other parts and will do it in every chapter from now on. It was supposed to have a blank space between the scenes but God knows what happened. Let me know if its better this way. And, finally, before I go, @stressedandbandobessed7771 asked to be tagged in the series, which I'm going to do from now on, and I wanted to let you all know that if anybody wants to be tagged too, let me know. As always, this haven’t been proofread, so feel free to report any mistakes back to me; warnings are expecific for each chapter. Also, your feedback is also highly appreciated. I relly hope you like this one. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Daphne receives a very unexpected invitation while the Shelby's have to deal with Sabini's retaliation. Tommy buys a new horse and gets to know a possible new asset at the same time that Polly tries to understand what is the nature of his interest in the woman working with Solomons. Ada has a heart to heart with her friend and Alfie makes a surprise for Daphne.

Three

“Next month?!” Daphne’s shocked expression and high-pitched tone of voice made the engaged couple laugh. William was a little behind them, by the door, a smirk on his face. “Now I understand what you’re saying about them hushing things.”

“You never believe me.” Daphne just rolled her eyes at his mockery before Jane quipped in her defense.

“Well, you have a habit of overreacting about things.” The doctor narrowed his eyes to looks at his sister.

“Always knew that you were going to be a little traitor.” They all laughed, apart from William, although everyone knew that it was just an act.

“Nothing like a little display of sibling love by the Weston’s.” Alfie commented, surprising Daphne with his good mood. The last few days had been a little strange for them, both had totally ignored the episode of the window, but his words kept coming back to haunt the woman every time she looked at him. She was distracted observing him when their eyes met, Alfie gave her a heartwarming smile that Daphne promptly returned.

“We are always happy to entertain, Alfie.” There was false mockery in his tone.

“But we didn’t come here for William to complain about everything.” She turned to face the other woman, her expression was serious but joyful. “I want you to be my maid of honor.” Daphne blinked a few times, shock washing trough her. She expected to be invited to the weeding, of course - the two of them were good friends, after all – but being Jane’s maid of honor wasn’t something that she had in mind.

“Oh, I… Of course. It will be my pleasure.” Jane got up to embrace her friend, bubbling with happiness.

“William here already accepted to be the best man, despite his constants complains.” That resulted in Charles receiving a slap on the back of the head, given by his future brother-in-law, making them all laugh aloud.

“In all these years that I know him I never saw William do anything without complaining.” He looked at Daphne shaking his head.

“What’s this, a plot to ruin my reputation?”

“What reputation, mate?” Charles chocked in laughter and soon the others accompanied him.

“Et tu, Brute?”

“What can I say, mate. You make it too easy, aye.” When they all recovered from their laughter, Jane addressed herself to the gangster.

“Of course you’re invited too, Alfie.”

“And I will be there, for sure. Wouldn’t miss William’s speech for anything.” That was something that Daphne had missed, the friendly banter between Alfie and William, that brought a genuine smile to her face that didn’t escaped Alfie’s eyes.

“The betrayal. I thought we were friends, Solomons.” The doctor complained while Alfie just shrugged.

“What can I say, business is business, my friend.”

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

“This had better be good to interrupt my holiday.” Polly rushes into the betting shop after John has opened the door that connects it to the house. It’s clear that she is in a hurry and in no mood to small talk.

“Where's the boy?” Arthur asked when she was putting her things on the table.

“In the back room. I only brought him because afterwards we're going to the museum.” Another obvious thing was that she didn’t wanted Michael involved in the family business, even though she knew it was an herculean task.

“He wanted to come in and say hello but...”

“Shut up, John. There is nothing of interest to Michael in this room.” Said nephew stopped talking altogether, looking a little dismayed. “Tommy, get on with it.”

“Last night, one of our men had his throat cut in Winson Green. This morning, I had a telegram to say it was Sabini who ordered it.”

“And it says here that Thomas Shelby's next.” Arthur added, ripping said telegram into pieces. Despite the death threat on his life, Thomas didn’t looked that concerned, like he wasn’t with most things. Just another day in the job.

“If our men think we can't look after them in prison, they'll not work for us. Sabini knows that. So we need to get the Green sorted out. Scudboat, you and one of the boys. Break a couple of windows and get yourselves arrested. I'll have our coppers get you into the Green and you can find the bastards who did it.”

“Instead of breaking a window, can we pinch a car?” All of the men, besides from Tommy, start laughing. “What? Everybody else is getting a bloody car. I'm still on a donkey.”

“All right, just get yourselves fucking arrested, it doesn't matter how. And before you all laugh, a boy is dead. He was just a kid. We'll start a fund for his family, Pol.”

“Agreed.” The woman says, solemnly. “So is that it? Can I go now?” She starts picking up her things just to hear Tommy talking again.

“Well, as company treasurer, I need your permission to spend a thousand guineas.” That makes her stop and look at him.

“On what?”

“On a horse.”

“A thousand guineas on a horse?”

“That's right.”

“When was this decided?” She starts passing, deep in thinking.

“You've been busy with Michael.” He knew that she would question it but this was a means to an end. Sometimes it was difficult to make people see what he saw. Even Polly.

“Oh, my God. So, in the absence of common sense, you boys have had an idea.”

“Polly there's a thoroughbred quarter-Arab filly up for auction at the Doncaster Blood Stock.” Polly looks at him.

“What do we want with a thousand guinea horse?” Tommy sighs, before explaining.

“When we make our move on Sabini's racing pitches, any men we get into the betting enclosure will be lifted by Sabini's police. A good racehorse is a passport to the owner's enclosure.”

“We'll be in there with all the toffs. Coppers won't know where to look.” Arthur adds and John accompanies him, excitedly.

“Yeah, the Epsom Derby, Pol. We'll be drinking with the bloody King.”

“The Derby? Did he say the Derby?” The glare Thomas gave to his younger brother erased the smile in John’s face while he lowered his head. The leader of the Peaky Blinders took a deep breath and cleared his throat before speaking.

“That's right. For the last ten years, Sabini has made it his race. If we're going to take him down, might as well make it there as a symbol.”

“Did you come up with this idea in a pub by any chance?” Her tone was drenched in pure sarcasm.

“Pol a good racehorse is an investment, like property. We need to diversify the portfolio.”

“So when is this sale?”

“Tomorrow.”

“And Tommy's had a death threat so we'll have to go with him for protection.” The older of the Shelby siblings explained.

“So, you're going to close up the shop, go out on a piss-up and blow a thousand guineas on a horse that's not even whole Arab?”

“Quarter Arab is better! Quarter Arab, it means...” Polly cuts him off.

“Curly, shut up.” The door that connects the betting shop to the house open to reveal Michael. Polly instantly looks reprovingly at John. “I thought I told you to lock that door.”

“He did. I used the key on the nail.” The younger boy explains. “Look, I've been listening. I want to go with them.”

“You see?!” The Shelby matriarch throws her arms up in exasperation while Tommy looks at his cousin.

“I love horses. I could even help!” The excitement mixed with hope that his mother would allow him to go with his cousins was evident in Michael’s face.

“Over my dead body.” The older woman said, crossing her arms.

“It'll be all right, Mum. I've been to loads of horse auctions before with my uncle. They're very respectable. People bring their butlers.”

“Yeah, and their posh wives!” Arthur said, smirking and taking a sip of his whiskey.

“And their mistresses.” Added John, elbowing his cousin while they laughed.

“Let him come, Polly.” Arthur tried to convince the woman. “We'll go there, buy a horse, come back.”

“I'll drop him back at the house in Sutton before it gets dark.” Promised John to his aunt.

“No. Fucking no.” Michael left the room slamming the door behind him, clearly upset. Polly looked at Thomas and after a minute that seemed to last too long, he treated to clear the room.

“All right, that's it. Back to work.” All of the men started to leave, going back to his own tasks. John stayed behind, approaching his aunt.

“Come on! Aunt Pol, when I was Michael's age, I'd killed a hundred men and seen a thousand die. If you want to scare that kid away forever, carry on how you are going. If you want him to stay, let him come.”

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

Thomas couldn’t say that he was surprised to see his aunt entering his office later that day. After the incident with Michael earlier he expected that she would come around, he just didn’t predicted the reason why she wanted to talk to him.

“How’s Michael?” He asked when she took a sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk, his eyes not leaving the papers he was analyzing.

“Beaming with happiness now that he wored me down to go with you lot, tomorrow.” She answered with a sigh. “But that’s not what bought me here.”

“What it is then?”

“That woman” Polly started, waiting for his attention to be back on her, but he ignored it completely, the only reaction that she got was his pen freezing for a couple of seconds “the one you and Ada were taking to at the Garrison.”

“What about her?” His tone was dismissive, however, his aunt wasn’t foolish. She was pissed off with him that night at the reopening of the Garrison, but she most definitely saw his interaction with the unknown woman that had arrived and departed of the pub like smoke, but not before drawing all eyes to her.

“Who is she?”

“She is the woman who works with Solomons.” He hoped that would end with the interrogation but he wasn’t that lucky.

“The one you were curious about?” Tommy exhaled loudly, dropping the document he was currently reading to look at his aunt.

“Yeah, that would be her.”

“She knows our Ada.” She would have asked Ada about the woman if she had had the chance, – her niece certainly would be less evasive than Thomas -but her son had appeared at her door and the subject escaped to the back of her mind. Also, the gipsy woman needed to see his reaction to know if they were going to have another problem like they had with that barmaid.

“Yes, they know each other from London.”

“I want to meet her.” He wrinkled his forehead.

“Why?”

“Because the last time a woman caught your attention your judgment became clouded and we both know that it didn’t end well.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Maybe not yet, but I know the look in your eyes. She intrigues you. I noticed the first time you talked about her. I brushed it off because I thought it was just because of the business, but the way you behaved yourself around her that night at the Garrison tells me otherwise.” Thomas takes a deep breath but does not confirm or denies her suspicions.

“I’m certain that Ada can schedule tea for you three...”

“No. I want you to be there.” She wanted to see firsthand how he reacted to this girl because the last thing that Polly trusted was in men and their cocks. Thomas wasn’t the worst of the Shelby brothers in this topic – John was the man whore of the three of them – but since he was in charge of things in the family, the potential of trouble was higher.

“I will see what I can do.”

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

“To the premises of Mr. Charles Strong, Small Heath.” The man wrote down on the book before looking up at Tommy. “What kind of premises?”

“Boat yard.” The Brummie answered unamused.

“Yachts?”

“Canals.”

“I'm curious. What is your business, Mr. Shelby?” The man asked, giving Tommy a piece of paper.

“Import, export.” Before he left, Tommy added. “But I also sell pegs and tell fortunes.”

“You beat us to it.” The feminine voice made him stop and turn around - it was the woman of the auction. The one who had been stealing glances at the gangster since they arrived.

“Did I?”

“I was trying to nab a filly for my stud.” Thomas knew that she was only trying to catch his attention, but he played along.

“Sorry.”

“Thomas Shelby from where?” He took a deep breath before answering.

“From Birmingham.”

“Goodness!” There was a certain amount of surprise in her voice, mixed with shock.

“No, not much.”

“May Carleton.” She extended her hand for him and he took it. “I breed racehorses and train them. What is it you do?”

“I rarely answer questions, is what I do.”

“Tommy, come on, hurry up! We've got to go!” Arthur shouted in the background, laughing.

“Well, before you go, if you ever decided to put that filly out, I'd be interested in having her.”

“I plan to race her.” She looked at him surprised.

“Do you have a trainer?”

“I know people.”

“I know people, too.” The woman replied giving Tommy her card.

“Tommy! We've got to get this kid back before dark or Polly will have your balls!” John shouted this time while they all laughed.

“She will have 'em!” Arthur quipped in.

“We know different people, I would guess.” Tommy just ignored his brother’s giggles in the background.

“My father knows Mick Hancock. Trained three Ascot winners.”

“Oh, so that was your father?” He was right, them. She was talking to him for a reason – a reason that didn’t involve the horse at all.

“Yes. We're joint owners of the stud. He took the majority share when my husband was killed. Ypres.”

“Tommy! We've got to get back to the caravans! The chickens are hungry!” May looked at them and chuckled before asking.

“So will you consider me?”

“I will consider you.”

“You still didn't tell me what you do.” Tommy turned to face her again.

“Oh, I do bad things. But you already know that.” She could be a good asset for their plan and maybe – hopefully - help him get his mind off of the damn mystery that was Daphne Scott.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

Things have been quite calm for Daphne since she received Jane’s invitation to be her maid of honor. She saw the girl almost daily now, helping her prepare everything that was needed for the ceremony in such a short time. To say that the youngest of the Weston’s siblings was beaming with joy would be an understatement – she was all smiles and compliments and it ended up rubbing off on Daphne, even if just a little bit.

She had met William a couple of times too, since he was involved in the preparations as much as her seeing that he wasn’t just the best man but also the bride’s older brother. He tried to sound annoyed in every meeting, but Daphne knew that he was happy for the couple, just worried that his little sister would be out of his sight from now on.

Alfie was an entirely different matter. Things had been as normal as you would expect between them. No more visits from Thomas Shelby, no more employees being knocked out cold, everything seemed to run smoothly. However, Daphne knew in her heart that something wasn’t right. More than once, she had caught him staring at her from the distance with a frown on his face, deep in thinking. He usually did not even noticed that she had caught him staring, but when he did, the Jew made quick work to turn the other way, pretending that nothing happened.

In all the years she had known him, Daphne never gave too much though about the reasons why he kept her around. Alfie wasn’t exactly what you could call “a man of his word”. She had seen him betray his associates for his own benefit more than once - and being brutally honest, she couldn’t say that if the roles were reversed she would have done different. With her, thought, he always had been anything but loyal. He had helped her in the moment she most needed and they constructed a strong bond. Strong enough for her to consider him family.

In all the years they have worked together, they learned how to read each other – that was one of the reasons why they functioned so well as partners. And that’s why she knew she wasn’t going crazy because he was, most certainly, hiding something from her. His words kept hammering in her head: “Do you trust me? Because sometimes I wish you didn’t.”.

“You look like Tommy.” Daphne blinked a few times while looking at Ada.

“What?”

“You do this thing of looking straight away, to nowhere, not blinking or moving while you’re deep in thinking. He does that sometimes.” Ada laughed when the other woman raised one eyebrow at her. “I can’t help it if you two have so much in common.” There was a pause while she poured the both of them another cup of tea. “He’s been asking about you.”

“Who?” Ada rolled her eyes, sitting down on the chair again.

“You know who. My knucklehead of a brother.” Daphne laughed at that while the other woman just observed her carefully. There was a hint of concern in her voice when she asked “Why is he so interested in you, Daph?”

“It’s not in me he’s interested in, it’s in my relationship with Alfie.” Or so she had been trying to convince herself. Since she last talked to Harriet Daphne had been trying to figure out what she felt towards the Brummie gangster, with no luck so far. It seemed that the much she thought about it more confused she was getting.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe in that for a second. I know my brother and the way he looks at you has nothing to do with curiosity about your relationship with Solomons.” Daphne had no answer to that so she took a sip of her tea trying to ignore Ada’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Just be careful, okay.”

“Ada, even if he is interested in me it doesn’t mean that anything will happen. Even if I was interested in him too.” Daphne regretted her words the moment they left her mouth.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Interested in him?” There was a long silence where the two of them just stared at each other. “Just have in mind that Tommy usually gets what he wants and this not necessarily means that it will be what you want too.”

“Ada…”

“I really like you, Daph. And I know that deep down my brother is a good man. He’s just… Not the same since he came back from the war and I would hate to see him hurt you.” Neither of them had the time to address the subject further since Karl entered the room in a rush going straight to Daphne’s lap. As they both giggled at something that the little boy had done, the topic dissipated in the air. The unfinished conversation had to wait for another time.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

When they entered the pub everyone stood up, clapping their hands as they passed. Daphne just looked at Alfie and he only shrugged, a hand on her back to guide her through the crowd. Some of the people greeted her on their way to the mezzanine just beside the stage.

“I’ll bloody kill you, Solomons.” She said to him through clenched teeth and he laughed at her, whispering into her ear.

“No, you won’t love.” Despite being pissed off at him for ignoring her wishes of not doing anything at her birthday, Daphne couldn’t help but feel touched by his gesture.

“You tricked me into this.” He made her stop at the base of the stairs that lead to the mezzanine beside the stage, turning her to face him and resting his hands on her arms.

“I knew that it was the only way for you to come, don’t blame me for wanting to see you happy.” The young woman just nodded, ignoring all the eyes on them, before she let him lead her upstairs. She recognized almost all of the faces that turned to look at them when they arrived on the mezzanine – Ollie and his wife, Jane and Charles, William, Harriet, some of their work associates, Ada and Karl, but her eyes were instantly draw to a pair of blue irises fixed on her. His stare was so intense that she felt like getting lost in them, but the connection was broken when Karl escaped Ada’s arms and run right to her screaming “Dee Dee”, making everyone smile. She caught him by reflex while he hugged her.

“Mommy said that this was for you. She said it is your birrr…” He gave her a package that Daphne knew contained a book all the while struggling to say the word birthday. She smiled and kissed him on the check.

“Birthday, sweet pea.” Alfie chuckled behind them while Ada walked to them.

“That it.”

“What have I told you about running away from me, Karl?” It was always amazing to see Ada step into her motherly figure.

“But it was Dee Dee!” The boy protested snuggling into Daphne’s neck while the woman smiled.

“It doesn’t matter, you can’t do that, Karl.”

“It’s okay, Ada. He won’t do it again.” Karl straightened himself to look at Daphne. “Will he?”

“No, Dee Dee.” She smiled at him again and he gave her a kiss on the check. Ada could do nothing but shake her head.

“That’s a good boy.” Daphne placed him on the ground and Ada stepped closer to hug her.

“Happy Birthday, Daph. I know you hate it, but try and have some fun, will you?” They looked at each other for a moment.

“I won’t promise you anything.” The two smiled at each other and Ada hushed Karl back to where they were sitting so Daphne could talk to the other guests.

Jane almost knocked her out to the ground in a very good mimicking of what Karl had just done while everyone laughed. Charles was right behind her - the couple seemed to be stuck into a bubble of unbreakable happiness. William was trying – and failing miserably – to hide a smile right behind them.

“Trying to maintain your reputation of ‘The grumpy Weston’, I see.”

“Somebody has too.” He smiled, before hugging her. “Happy Birthday, Daph.”

“Okay, can you release her now? She’s not exclusively yours, you know?” They separated themselves from the embrace and laughed at Harriet standing right behind them, hands on her waist as if she was about to give them the scold of their lives.

“You and your wonderful timing, as always.” William huffed, rolling his eyes and receiving a slap on the arm from Daphne.

“Get away, lover boy.” The courtesan jested, smiling bright at Daphne before taking her in a hug like the others. “Are you okay?” The question was asked quietly, just for Daphne to hear. They kept each other close after they parted from the hug.

“I will be.” Harriet knew that it was a lie – Daphne was not okay, she would never be okay, not entirely and the sadness in her eyes proved that. She wanted to convince her friend that she could be happy, she should be happy, but sometimes the woman could be as headstrong as Alfie. Harriet just nodded and Daphne moved onto the next person that was waiting to greet her, with the Jew following her closely.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

The blood red of the dress contrasted with her skin and for a moment, Tommy let his eyes wander down her body. The sleeveless piece of clothing was sophisticatedly draped with intricate embroidery at the front, the velvet was loose on her curves, marked only at the waist but the back had a low-cut that showed a good amount of her skin, since her hair was loosely tied. The golden locket always around her neck.

Thomas felt pulled by her presence like a moth to a flame. He observed, curiously, as she crossed the room with Alfie right behind her, all eyes on her. Then it took him by surprise the way his nephew had run to her, hugging and kissing her as if she was family. He already knew that she and Ada were close but he was right in assuming – after Ada called her by a nickname – that their bond was stronger than he had predicted.

Polly noticed the way Tommy’s eyes were immediately attracted to the woman the moment she entered the pub. She took her time observing the girl too. It was undeniable that she was beautiful – all soft curves, long hair and a smile that could light up the whole room – but there was something more, something about the way she carried herself that made people captivated by her.

She watched Thomas observing the girl and immediately recognized the spark in his eyes – there was no denying that he was attracted to her, Polly wanted to know in what extent. The older woman saw the same spark in Daphne’s eyes when their eyes crossed just before Karl jumped into the woman’s arms. Her relationship with Ada was something that Polly would explore later, because there was no way that her niece would have left Karl around someone she didn’t trusted.

“That woman over there isn’t Harriet?” John’s voice broke the spell and Tommy looked at the woman his brother was talking about – it was the brunette, dressed in a tight navy blue skirt and white blouse mocking a the man who was hugging Daphne at the moment.

“Harriet? You must be crazy Jhonny, boy. This can’t be…” Arthur’s mouth fell open before he could finish the sentence.

“The owner of one of the most famous brothels in London?” John looked at the older Shelby, smugly, but Tommy’s attention was securely held by the interaction between Daphne and the man that had just hugged her. He seemed like one of those rich gentlemen that every mother wanted for their daughters at the same time that he held an air of rebellion. What made Thomas wary was the way his touch lingered on Daphne who seemed unbothered by it.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

Daphne graciously greeted everyone in the mezzanine – everyone except for the group of people watching her on the other side of the mezzanine. She looked at Alfie that just motioned for her to follow him.

“And I took the opportunity to invite the rest of the Shelby clam, so we could get acquaintance, aye. Now, you already know Tommy here, this is the rest of his family.”

“Arthur Shelby, at your service.” The eldest of the brothers kissed the back of Daphne’s hand, making her smile.

“Daphne Scott.”

“John Shelby, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He mimicked his older brother moves, a flirtatious smile on his face.

“Likewise. You aren’t supposed to have a wife, somewhere?” Arthur almost spat his drink trying to contain his laughter and John cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. Alfie chuckled behind her.

“She had to stay home with the kids.”

“Send her my regards, then.” He nodded at her, clearly not used being caught flirting like that. Daphne’s eyes then stopped in the older woman beside Thomas. She was staring at her quizzically but there was a hint of a smile on her features.

“Polly Gray.” She took a second too much to extend her hand for the younger woman to take, probably trying to make a point. Her grip was firm but so was Daphne’s – two could play at this game.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Ada talks greatly of you.” The girl knew how to play, Polly had to give her that. The way she handed John’s flirting showed that she knew how to handle herself and, most importantly, that she had done her fair share of research on them. By bringing Ada into the conversation right now, she was trying to gain the older woman’s good graces.

“Funny thing is that she never mentioned you.”

“I had to keep her away from the bunch of you or otherwise she would have left running.” Ada quipped in, having just arrived back at the mezzanine after going to the bathroom, before Daphne could say anything.

“Well, she is not running.” Her hazel eyes encountered Tommy’s when he spoke, keeping himself beside his aunt. Daphne held his gaze when she answered.

“It takes a lot more to make me run.”

“I hear that a happy birthday is in order.” He extended his hand to her, that she took without question, the touch lasting a minute longer than it should.

“Dee Dee, are you going to have a cake?” Daphne released Tommy’s hand to lower herself to Karl’s level before talking to the little boy.

“Maybe. Why? Will you want some?”

“’Cause when it’s your birrr…” She smiled again.

“Birthday.”

“Yeah, you have to blow the candles, right?”

“That’s right, lad. Do you want to go see if Daph’s cake is ready?” Daphne was amused at how shocked everyone looked when Alfie lowered himself at her side to talk with the little boy, who looked at him shyly. Karl looked at his mother who nodded at him, before looking at Daphne again.

“Will you help me blow out the candles?” He only nodded excitedly, before taking the hand that Alfie offered him and the two of them walked to the kitchen. When Daphne straightened herself, observing Alfie and Karl going down the stairs seemingly in a happy conversation, she directed herself to her friend. “That was a low blow, even for you.”

“What can I say, we play with the cards we have.”

55 notes · View notes

mummabearsmusings · 4 years

Text

ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key. But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win" But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response. I need help with the boundary thing. As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head. I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me. I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean. I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person. I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

#MummaBearMusings

1 note · View note

stillebesat · 4 years

Note

i was rereading your stork au (bc i Love It and im so soft for baby logan) and i was kinda wondering how the legal bits work in that universe? like do the storks tell whoever (idk the right government people lol) that ‘x has a kid now’ or do the new parents have to like,, go register or something? idk its just a thought that came to mind after reading

(So happy you love the STORK AU! ^^;; It’s been a favorite of mine to write)

Short Answer: MAGIC!! It fixes everything! ^^;; lol For the most part the STORK’s magic makes pretty much all the necessary changes to all documentation instantaneous as soon as the new parent(s) accept their child.

Longer Answer below the cut:

The nice thing about STORKS is that they do have their own brand of magic that helps to facilitate the child’s move to a better family.

Their main magic is used for the changing/erasing of the original parent(s)/guardian(s) memories so that they won’t go looking for the child and to ensure that the child doesn’t have to worry about running into them again.

But this magic also is used to alter official records that the government (and medical, educational, etc places) keep. Basically if a government person just happened to be looking at the child’s name on their birth certificate when they’re taken by the STORKS and accepted by their new family it would be like a ‘blink and you miss’ it sort of change. One second the name may say Joe Johnson and the next it would be Joe Anderson. (The person may not realize that the name changed or think they misread the name, it’s so quick)-And if the child doesn’t want to keep their name that their original parents gave them, then the paperwork could change to say Andrew Anderson or even Jennifer Anderson depending on what the child wants to be called. Etc.

-The changes are also very very easy to make for those government systems who have digitized their information. As basically just blip and the necessary information is altered and no one is the wiser.

The good thing about the government though is that there are billions of people living on the planet and keeping track of every single form for every individual is such a momentous task that unless the person in the government is involved directly with the STORKs (aka they accepted a child from a STORK) it’s unlikely anyone will notice any changes to documents that contain the child’s name.

The only major difference to most governments is that since most of the time the original parent(s)/guardian(s) believe that their child was killed, there needs to be a paper trail there just in case one is needed. (aka death certificates and insurance claims filed and processed)

-If there is insurance on the child, then there’s the added complication of ensuring that the money was processed and placed in the right accounts so the original parent(s)/guardian(s) aren’t like “Where’s my money?”

Also what all needs to be changed in the paper trail of the child often depends on the situation that they come from and their age.

It’s a lot easier on the STORKS when the child hasn’t yet entered school as there are less official records (mostly like a Birth Certificate, Social Security Number, and maybe a couple of medical records.) that need to be altered.

It’s also the reason why most of the STORKs work with babies and toddlers. (And how they got their reputation for carrying babies to parents in the stories) There’s less that needs to be altered to ensure that the child can seamlessly enter into their new family’s lives.

But if the child is older and in school then there’s more complications and potentially more legwork (including physical visits to differing locations) that the STORK has to complete after uniting the child with their new parents in order to ensure that the no one goes “Oh hey wait what happened to Jimmy who was in class last week?” When the original parents think that the child ‘died’ three years ago.

-Basically if a person was closer to the parents, their memories will shift so that they too think the child is dead.

-If the person was closer to the child, they will forget who the child’s original parents were and remember only the new parents and in most cases will think that left because they moved away.

But yah. Schools complicate everything because there’s such a paper trail in those buildings. Assignments, Tests, Scores, Assessments, Nurses Visits, etc etc. (again yay for digital stuff as computer records are quite easy to alter for the STORKS.)

It’s even more complicated in the rarer cases where the ‘child’ is at that near adult stage of 15-17 years old where they may have a job (and all those certifications/background checks, etc) or have received their learner’s permit/driver’s license.

Because Remy usually deals with infants and toddlers his job isn’t as complicated as other more experienced STORKS who take on the older children in need.

And because Virgil is Logan’s original Dad, his case is different than most as he can keep his original name as his birth certificate was filed using Virgil’s last name as Logan’s last name and named him as father.

The main complication is that the Mom is still alive and now believes that Logan is dead.

-With Remy’s magic she believes that he died in the boating accident along with Virgil because Virgil’s Grandfather told her that Virgil was dead. Now the memories shift to include Logan in that.

So there’s a tricky bit of magic there where you could call it…a mirage. If she were to happen to look at Logan’s birth certificate she would see Logan’s name with her Maiden Name (though since she and Virgil weren’t yet officially married, she never took his last name and hasn’t yet been married to anyone else.) But if Virgil were to look at that exact same certificate, he would see his last name as Logan’s last name.

There will also be a Death Certificate found in the state of Florida that has Logan’s name with his Mother’s Maiden Name on it if the Mom were to need it.

In very very rare cases. A STORK is unable to properly change memories/paperworkforms because they have to act in the spur of the moment and take the child before a new family can be found for them. In these sort of cases it’s like…’the strings of fate’ -or in this case the ties of family- are violently snapped leaving the child(ren) adrift with no connections to anyone (records vanished, memories people have of the completely gone from their minds leaving holes in memories) until the STORK can get them out of imminent danger and realign them with a better family.

This happens to Remy when Logan is 14 years old when he rescues nearly 16 year old Roman and Remus from a cousin they lived with who was deadset on killing them.

Remy basically yanked the twins off the street as they ran by, shielded them with his wings from their cousin’s view and promptly used his magic to ‘break’ every single thread connecting them to their old life because he had no time to be ‘delicate’ when their lives were literally on the line.

As to the new parent(s), mostly what they have to worry about is what they’re going to tell people when they’re like “Hey…who is this?” The STORK’s magic, however, ensures that whatever story the new parent(s) decide to tell, it will be believed so that the child can be better accepted into their new life. (Though there’s almost always that one distant relative that disproves of everything no matter what you tell them. “Can they even afford to have another child?!” “Adoption?! Why in the world would you subject yourself to that?!”)

Again with Babies it’s rather easy if there’s a parent involved who can bear children as they will often use the story of “I didn’t know I was pregnant!” With older children the reason can be slightly more complicated and parent(s) have told very simple stories of “we decided we wanted to adopt this little angel” to more complex stories of “So apparently I actually had twins in the hospital but they told me one died but only now through Ancestry.com did I discover my child had actually survived and after a lot of searching we found each other.” (The STORKS have to shake their heads at some of the stories they’ve heard the parent(s) tell to explain why they suddenly have another child)

Paperwork wise the parent(s) usually find all the necessary documentation for the child in the mail within the week (after the haze of ‘we have a new child!’ has faded a bit) to ensure that there won’t be difficulties in their future (drivers licenses, passports, job applications, college applications, medical history, etc).

Again with Virgil and Logan it’s easier in some ways and difficult in others since Logan is Virgil’s biological child. So he can rightfully claim that Logan is his son.

But it does take Virgil a good two or three days before he feels like he can leave the building with Logan and tell people the story he’s comfortable telling.

Because like….how do you explain to people that your Grandfather didn’t want your fiance to marry you and so he set up the boat explosion to kill them, but somehow they survived, but then he convinced the Mom to fake being dead and then lied to Virgil about the her and Logan’s survival only Virgil discovered years later that they could potentially still be alive and when he ‘found’ them (Virgil never sees the Mom again, Remy is the one who took action to find them before Virgil could get a chance to) and Logan’s Mom could no longer care for him (otherwise Remy wouldn’t have been able to take Logan from his mother) and ‘wanted’ (since she’s not alive) nothing to do with Virgil and so Virgil took Logan back home to live with him and raise.

Yah…Virgil doesn’t tell that story to more than a handful of people. He mostly sticks to “His Mother took him from me, but now can no longer care for him and so I took my son back.” And if they know his situation with his ex-fiance will also state that she ‘faked their deaths and I just discovered they were still alive.”

But yah, paperwork wise, not much needed to be changed for Logan as he was too young to be in school (at almost five) and his Mom hadn’t enrolled him in preschool and had stopped taking him to daycare a good year before when she realized he could take care of himself well enough that she could leave him home while she was at work and not worry about him burning down the house (and save $$$ in the process) so no one would question why he no longer was coming.

Hope that answers your questions! Let me know if you have any more. :D

#STORK AU #neglectful parents tw #death talk tw #attempted murder tw

20 notes · View notes

theglowstickchronicles · 4 years

Text

Guys, I was HELLA behind on FMLS90- but I'm still in it! Just caught up :) while I was waiting for the grocery store to open. Now I am off with my reusable bags to get my food for the week before coming home and continuing chores. I want to get as much done as possible before FOOTBALL starts!!! We're playing Kansas City at 4:25 today (@fatmaninalittlesuit I'm sure you'll be watching this game as well!) and I am SO NERVOUS. We have been... trash, lately. Last week's game was atrocious. I wish I had planned better and tried to go to the game, even though it would probably be crazy expensive and super cold, because my football buddies are in California on a mini vacation (their 3rd this season compared to my 0) and I only have local cable at home.

Anyway, here it is:

• 11/18 - How does holiday food play a role in your fitness journey? Do you have any positive or negative traditions that impact your journey? Share one of both.

Well, this was probably supposed to be about Thanksgiving feasts but here we are on December 8th! Honestly, we don’t really have any “traditions” beyond getting together and sharing a meal. In hindsight this Thanksgiving was probably my best, calorie-wise, because my brother-in-law’s sister did most of the cooking and did a lot of sides with bacon incorporated into them and, since I’m vegetarian, I did not partake. I had some DELICIOUS food, don’t get me wrong, and she made a to-die-for caprese salad… but most of the apps had bacon and several of the sides. I ended up having cheese and crackers, french onion tartlets (SOOO GOOD), chips & dip, mashed potatoes, and a plethora of vegetable sides. It also helped that I had to work overnight Thursday into Friday so I couldn’t have any wine 

• 11/19 - How does holiday stress play a role in your fitness journey? Do you have any especially stressful situations that make your physical or mental journey tough? How do / will you handle them?

Holidays don’t really stress me out, if we’re being honest. As of Dec. 6 I just need to pick up some alcohol and then some giftcards for my cousin’s kids, and I’m done Christmas shopping. I start my shopping November 1 every year. I don’t mind seeing my family -they’re dramatic, just like everyone else, but compared to my job? A few hours of family drama time is nothing. I do tend to hoard a bottle of wine to myself for the holidays but I’m not sober during non-holiday times, either, so that doesn’t really come into play.

• 11/20 - What role do family and friends play in your holidays? Are these mostly positive or negative? What do you want to change about this?

Mostly positives! I hosted my second annual Friendsgiving this year and it was fantastic. The one downside was I had been up for 44 hours but I think it went well. Honestly the only “downside” to friends/family during holidays is having to be in such close quarters with people because as much as I love them, someone inevitably has germs.

• 11/21 - Do you notice and physical / mental changes around this time of year? Do you have any strategies to deal with them?

I am always a sleepy bitch, but more so during the winter months due to the lack of sun. This M-F, not getting home till 5-6 every night, office has no window life is bullshit. We always jokes that nightshift never sees the sun but dude, until you’ve gone 5 days without sunlight, don’t even @ me. I am extra careful about taking my vitamins during this time of the year because I really do notice a difference in energy and mood without them (I have some vitamin deficiencies NOT related to my diet thank you).

• 11/22 - How do work / school commitments / events this time of year differ for you? Can this be used to your advantage in your fitness journey or are there steps you can take to minimize the challenges?

In the fall we have annual mandatory education at work which can be stressful but other than that, work does not change. This year was a little different because I picked up a second job and had orientation and have been working a lot to save up money for my many endeavors over the next 2 years (sister’s bridal shower / bachelorette /wedding, best friend’s bridal shower / bachelorette / wedding, everyone is turning 30 and wants to go all out -me included- wanting to go on more vacations, wanting to do a 29th birthday somethingl… the list is endless…. Lol)

• 11/23 - Do you have any plans to travel this year? If so, describe the challenges that creates and how you will handle them. If not, what can you do at home to set yourself up for success?

One semi-definite plan is my sister’s bachelorette in 2020! I don’t know when or where we’re going, but we’re going- which reminds me, I need to get my passport in case it ends up being Canada! I also would like to do a small trip for my 29th birthday. Originally I wanted to take a week off (I am close to vacation time caps at work) but we are OF COURSE having a new system go-live 6 days after my birthday and I’m like, top 5 most important people for the go-live. So we shall see. Perhaps a 3-day weekend for president’s day somewhere close?

• 11/24 - Share one tip with the community on how to stay healthy during the holidays.

I feel like any time I have to share a tip with the community I share the same one, but there it is: PREPARATION. For instance I have not meal prepped in 3 weeks and IT SHOWS. I’ve been feeling sluggish and gross, not working out like I should be, and not sleeping as well…. PREPARATION IS KEY!!!

• 11/25 - What are your general thoughts on gratitude and the role it plays in your mental health and happiness?

Being in healthcare puts a new perspective on gratitude. I’m answering this hella late so it’s not actually 11/25 and is several weeks post-Thanksgiving, but… yesterday I watched a daughter unexpectedly lose her mother in the worst possible way. She walked into the room and almost immediately told us to stop doing CPR. I am grateful for my family being here and healthy, I am grateful for my fellow healthcare providers, and I am grateful that this strong woman who was having the worst day of her life wanted one thing for her mother in the last moments of her life: peace.

• 11/26 - What are some past experiences I am grateful for? How did they shape my life for the better?

I am grateful for growing up the way I did. I can’t say I wouldn’t change things but being raised by who I was shaped me into who I am. I’m grateful I wasn’t just handed things and was forced to work for them. I was probably not super appreciative at age 16 when I had to pay for my own car, but as an adult I am SO happy that I learned the lesson of working hard.

• 11/27 - Who do I appreciate? Tell us about them and why you are grateful they are in your life.

Right now I am appreciating the nurse who took report from me last night! We’ll probably never meet again but thank you for listening to my rants, not judging my last-minute leaky IV (don’t worry, the patient had another one that worked fine), and for getting me out of there so quickly!

• 11/28 - It’s Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. Tell us what specifically you are Thankful for today.

On Thanksgiving I was grateful for friends, family, and awesome coworkers.

• 11/29 - What are some people / things I may be taking for granted? How can I better express my gratitude for these people / things in the future?

I sometimes take my dad especially for granted. I depend on him for things around the house that I don’t have the skills or knowledge to do, such as fix the deck or the running toilet or even hang things without punching a hole in the wall. In the future I want to express that I’d rather him teach me these things instead of just coming to do them.

• 11/30 - What are some future opportunities I have that I am grateful for?

Everyone’s wedding, and the Year of Turning 30 Extravaganza.

• 12/1 - Share one tip with the community on how to live life with at attitude of gratitude.

No one is grateful 100% of the time. I try to make it a point every day to think of what I have… friends, family, pets, house, car, food in my fridge, etc…. and remember that not everyone has those.

• 12/2 - Where are you on your personal mental health journey? What strengths and opportunities do you have?

The changing of the seasons, setting the clocks back, and the SNOW on December 1st took its toll. I am usually not a Christmas-decorations-the-day-after-Thanksgiving type of person, but this year that’s the day that worked for my family getting our trees (me, my dad, and my sister/brother in law all go together and my Dad drops the trees off with his pickup) so I decorated that weekend and began listening to Christmas music (Pentatonix, ayyyyy). It really HAS been a pick-me-up!!!

• 12/3 - What are some past experiences with mental heath work? What has worked well for you and what has not worked as well.

Personally? None. Professionally? Just what I give as a nurse.

• 12/4 - How is your mental health compared to a year ago? Are you remaining steady, improving or regressions? What do you need to do about it?

Well, this time last year I had been at my job for one day and had no idea what I was doing. Now I’ve been here for a year and know what I’m doing… 50% of the time? So my mental health has gotten better since I no longer feel like a fish out of water. It helps that I got a per diem at the bedside and have those opportunities to do direct patient care.

• 12/5 - How aware are you of your mental health? Are your your moods steady or do they ebb and flow? Are you aware when things are changing and do you have any experience / tips for heading off tough times?

Very aware of my mental health; you have to be, to survive in healthcare without getting serious burnout. I would say my moods ebb and flow, which isn’t abnormal. Tough times can be headed off by doing self care, and I don’t mean in the bath-bomb-face-mask type of way: do your laundry (and fold it straight out the dryer), wash the dishes, clean the house, meal prep… and maybe get a manicure.

• 12/6 - Have you noticed any patterns / cycles to your own mental health? Do the seasons, or specific holidays or other variables impact you in specific ways?

Not especially. Late fall / early winter tends to be hard due to the lack of sun, but I also have a vitamin D deficiency that for obvious reasons gets worse in the winter, and low vit D causes depressive symptoms.

• 12/7 - How are mental health and physical health connected? What are some of your experiences that show this in your life?

Well. In my personal and somewhat-work-related experience, being in poor physical health often has a negative impact on mental health. HOWEVER BEING IN POOR PHYSICAL HEALTH DOES NOT MEAN BEING OVERWEIGHT. Plenty of patients have normal BMIs and are in poor health, and plenty have BMIs that label them obese and are in good health. And being in good physical health does not mean you have good mental health. I guess what I want to say is that while they can influence one another, they are not directly correlated?

• 12/8 - Share one tip with the community about developing or maintaining your mental health.

Don’t let things pile up. And I mean that literally and figuratively. Clean your house and prep your food and for the love of God empty the trash from your car (no? just me?). But also… don’t dwell on things you cannot change, and don’t stew on things you can. Just do it. It will be worth the time, energy, and anxiety.

#fmls90 #fmls90 catch up

7 notes · View notes

madagascanoverseas-blog · 4 years

Link

Everything started that night of September 1998 when I was supposed to board a plane to Lyon, France for the purpose of studying. Had I known that night that my study trip will not see its end in France, but will continue to the state of Pennsylvania in the US, then later to Australia, and a few years down the line, to Canada where I do live with my wife and son, I am convinced that I might said to myself « That is just impossible »!On this night of september 1998, the air at Antananarivo Ivato Airport is hot and dry as the summer season is about to strike back again. My father will accompany me as it was the first time I am leaving Madagascar, my country, for such a long time. We will be spending a few days in Paris before heading to Lyon, where I will be commencing a school of hospitality.For most of the Malagasy youngsters like myself, it is in fact very usual to pursue one studies in France once we obtained our HSC or High school diploma; the reason being the fact that we speak French and that France is generally the country we tend to know about the most outside Madagascar obviously. I have had one or two classmates in Madagascar who went directly pursuing their education outside of France, but in general very few dared to pursue directly their studies to a country like the US or Canada.

That being said, I will always remember that night of september as despite of being mentally prepared, I surely knew I had so much challenges ahead to overcome, and I was even more aware that there were greater chances for me to fail than to make it! I knew it because since I was a child, I never left my parents for more than 10 days…and that was only once during a trip organized by my high school (La Clairefontaine) for us to visit Washington. But that was it!!! Apart from that accompanied trip, I really never had the chance to be on my own nor experience what I would be capable of should I be alone in an unknown environment.

I CANNOT EVER FORGET

I will always remember the face of my mother and my sister who were there at the airport; I can hardly erase from my memory this face of my mom seeing me going away and knowing that I was leaving for some time at least. I will also remember this Air France plane – having a big logo of a French kid holding a ball as Farnce has just won the Word Cup a few months ago – waiting for us to board. Also, I will never forget the next morning when we were flying right next to the very famous « Mont blanc ». At that very moment, I knew I was already flying over Europe. I will never forget my fathe’s words as the aircraft started to descend over Paris that day and as I was trying to familiarize myself with all those names that I saw on the map…at that moment, he said to me « well, that would be your country for the next three years ». With all the emotions of the departure, I still couldn’t realize that I have really left home, and that I left behind me everything I Knew, every place I was familiar with, everyone wiwth whom I used to share things. Now on, I have to be on my own and find my own way…here in this country….

In this article, I will be expose some insights about myself, about my personal stories as well as the different challenges I was facing. But more importantly, this article is also about providing advices in regards to travel overseas or settling in a foreign country.

I have also written this Blog as a Malagasy perspective dealing with overseas travels is of an extreme rarity. Most of the Blogs, articles, critics, history books, for example, about Madagascar, have been mostly written by non-Malagasy individuals. Also, most of the blogs, travels, articles existing on the net are hardly produced or written by any persons from the island of Madagascar. Today, by dropping a few lines here, I hope that there would be some changes, and invite other Malagasy both overseas and in Madagascar, to share their experiences or their talents online as I know that there are a lot of bright young people down there, bust most are not just given the opportunity to prove that.

LET’S START ABOUT THE DECISION PROCESS OF STUDYING OVERSEAS:

Even though I am writing this blog on the behalf of Malagasy students, it is also designed to help ANYONE who just has dreams to study overseas. It can be a US student wishing to spend 2 semesters in Argentina for example who wishes to study Spanish.

I have a youtube channel which displays different videos about my trip to Australia as well as Canada, but not limited to those. If you are interested to have a look at them, please go to:

www.youtube.com/channel/UCBY350-Kgd7X4umOAuCJk9A

WHAT SHOULD I DO FIRST WHEN PLANNING TO TRAVEL TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY?

first, do your research. get to know about the country/countries you plan to go to.

Secondly, if you can, try to get in touch with some people there

THE BIG QUESTION: SHOULD I SAY OR SHOULD I GO?

This question has no YES or NO answer, as it depends firstly on different parameters, notably:

external parameters: (the country you are going, whether you go alone or with someone else) and

internal parameters : your personality, you historical backgrounds, whether or not you were exposed to some individualistic environment, etc…

Some people that I knew when I was in Madagascar, were very bright and had all the skills they needed to succeed academically; however, among those people, many have grown within a highly non-individualistic environment. In other words, once overseas, they were struggling to adapt to an environment which different from theirs on a cultural standpoint. Many were also missing their friends back home, and that had huge consequences of their overseas stays in general, and many of them ended up abandoning their studies and coming back to Madagascar.

I also came across some Malagasy youngsters who chose France as a place to study, but for some reasons, did not fit in. Among those, some just came back home as they thought they were not fit to study overseas, but some others tried another option, which consisted of moving for example to Germany or to the UK, and as strange as it may seem, ended up adjusting just fine!!! So here, it was the French cultural and social environments, which were the causes of the problem.

FOR ME, WHAT WAS MY SECRET WHEN I SETTLED IN FRANCE

Well, as I said earlier, unlike my cousins or friends, I had no prior experiences about how it is to live away from parents and even less about how to live overseas, far from the loved ones.

But I remember each of the very first days I have spent in Lyon when I just arrived. In fact, the day we were supposed to travel to Lyon, there was an incident that happened to us at the Gare de Lyon, in Paris. That day, we arrived earlier as we thought that having lunch before the trip would be a nice idea. We then sat at a cafe inside the Gare de Lyon station, and as we were waiting for our order, a man poked at my dad and showed his vest. He then checked it and saw this huuuuuuge stain made of ketchup at the back of his suit…he was. shocked. At that moment, none of us realized what was to happen, but just a few seconds later, my dad realized that one of our bag has vanished (yes, just to let some Malagasy people know, there are many pickpockets in Paris!!!!). This is when we realized that our passports have also disappeared!!! Once we finished eating, we went to report to a police station and they issued us with a document allowing me to stay on the French territory for just 8 days!!! That means, I had just 8 days to lodge my application at the prefecture de Lyon!

We then travelled to Lyon and once there, explained the incident to the student adviser. It was so kind of him to offer me assistance while I was so far away from Madagascar, as when my father flew back to Madagascar with only a « laisser passer », he really assisted me to liaise with the prefecture de police as well as with the Madagascar consulate in Lyon, so I can obtain a new passport as well as a « carte de sejour » or permit of stay. As strange as it may seem, this incident has helped me to settle into the new hospitality school, while from time to time, making jokes about it with my new French friends!

Then, time went on and progressively, I made this new environment my home. I managed to make new friends, some of whom were French, but some were also Asians, namely from Korea and Indonesia. Both invited me to join some party, to eat soup, and two of my french friends invited me as well in their native region of Cher and Jura.

But you are probably wondering if from time to time, I missed my parents. Sure many times, and feeling lonely was something I considered being normal the first six months of any stays away from one’s family.

That being said, being a person growing with the « half-filled up glass » philosophy, I tended to be happy with what I had, and this was always the way I have always been. each day, I remained positive, saying to myself that everything will just work fine! But on the other hand, I told to myself: « If I should fail in this enterprise, I will just pack my bag and fly back home to Madagascar », and continue my studies there. Those thoughts have ,in my opinion, allowed me to remain calm as well as confident during those first crucial months of my stay in France.

AND THEN..

And then, after having spent 7 months in this hospitality school, I am leaving to to join the ISEG, a management school based in Lyon. Over there, I will be get acquainted with new French friends. The school is itself will last 2 years and after that time, with the help of my uncle Thomas who found that school for me by the way, I will choose to apply for this French-american school (called CEFAM) for another 2 years. Their principle is simple: students do the foundation courses in France, earn credits on each course they pass and then, can apply to US-universities once all conditions are met. Upon my registration at CEFAM though, I have met with the director who gave me credits for many of my classes taken at ISEG, which had allowed me to earn credits towards my BBA degree as well as some precious time, and more importantly, this had allowed us to save money as well on tuition fees!

But once I was about to earn all the credits from CEFAM this time (as I planned to pursue my studies in the US), the same director who gave me credits a few years before, sabotaged many foreign students applications, including mine!!! What he did was that he wrote to the US universities stating that « Mr X has met me and he has let me know that he no longer wishes to study in the US ». He just put a letter saying so once the applications sent, and wihout you knowing it! that means many students waited and waited hoping for a response, but nothing happened!!

The strange part about is is that it happened right after the event of 2001 in New york, and most of the sabotaged students were all foreigners, including asian students!

SO WAS EVERYTHING OVER FOR ME?

Well, some students abandoned that school and returned home. I did not choose to but instead, decided to push further. Each day I saw him, I kept asking him what about my application. A few times, he just told me to wait, but I just kept writing to Temple university (in the US) to get some feedbacks; strangely, I got almost no answers. I then decided to apply for further courses to increase my GPA (grades) and seeing me pushing through doors wasn’t to please him!! He as so angry to see me sitting there and taking additional courses because now, he knew I would have greater chances to apply to the US or even , to apply to any universities, including outside their partnership zone (Temple was their partner) or even Unis in canada or Australia. He probably guesses that I was clever enough to go around the obstacles he set on my pathway! So he convoked the staff and ordered them to cancel the classes, which y the way, was undoable as many students were registered already! That person would do anything not to let me go there for some reasons that might seem obvious (If he knew that at this time, I am living in a beautiful place like Canada, he would probably shoot himself in his feet!)

Now, I have no idea what happened but one day, this director (David R.) announced he was leaving his function. He was to be replaced by a new director, but when that happened, I went back to Madagascar for vacation….

When I came back in september, I was asked to meet immediately with this new director. He inquested about what happened and particularly about my intention to study in the US. I said that I still have those intentions and that I never expressed the opposite idea to his predecessor. Seeing me being persuasive enough but also, with all the « strange » parallel cases the former director did to other foreign students, he ended up believing me. It took him so much os willingness to explain this « highly particular » situation to theTemple U admission staff in the US, but he sure was w-aware that something was fishy!

I wanted to advise others: If you are victim of discriminatory acts like I did, never give up as giving up will just make the other person happy! Keep trying, and always keep pushing! In some cases, feel free to talk to other persons who are more open-minded and in an extreme case, do not hesitate to refer the matter to a lawyer and do not forget to bring proofs of what you are stating (signed documents, emails, written contents, etc…)

6 MONTHS LATER…

6 months later, I landed at Philadelphia airport at the end of the summer. I was finally in the United States, and about to start my two-semester program there. If everything goes fine, I will get my BBA degree soon!

The very first days is the US were quite challenging as it took me about 40 days to find a place to stay. During that time, I had to stay in a motel close to the delaware state border and clsoe to the airport, too. My parents were anxious as they knew I was far away and alone in a country that I did not know. On top of that, I wasn’t fluent with english, so exchanging ideas with others or even doing basic tasks like buying bread wasn’t that easy! I remembered 4 or 5 times, when checkin out at counters being looked strangely by cashiers as I did not understand what they said. When I explained to them that my first language was not english, they became suddenly very sensible! This was what I liked the most about Americans as they do understand that you may come from a different cultural background… this kind of understanding is something that you wouldn’t find too much in France.

THE WAY COURSES WERE STRUCTURED IN THE US

The American structure of teaching differs from the French one in many ways. In France, and to some extent, that is true as well for most of continental Europe, classes are being taught using a lot of theories; in other words, in the French system, the theoretical concepts tend to be dominant; the consequence being: one tends to learn concepts ny heart and there are more things to remember. In America however, courses are taught in a more practical way. It is very common in American universities to spend just 3 hours at the University, and spend the rest of the day to work on assignments as well as group projects. When studying in the United States (and later on in Australia as well for my Masters degree), I had to get used to work on group projects, do presentations in front of dozens of students, as well as be able to answer pertinent questions related to a specific topic.

Education in anglo-saxon universities in general are not always about remembering and be able to « spit out » the concepts; it is more about being able to deal with challenges, learn to work with peers coming from various cultural and academic backgrounds. It also teaches you to look beyond, to improvise on questions you may not expect…

Now, was it hard for me to adapt as a Malagasy? Sure it was! Coming from a french education system, I had to cope with reviewing entirely the way I was studying, as from now on, learning and remembering will no longer be that necessary!! In the way Americans as well as Australians (later on) educate their children totally differ from the way us the Malagasy do educate ours. I personally think that learning things by heart as we are so clever to do in Madagascar, is just an inefficient way of learning because first of all, after a few years, chances are that you are going to forget most of the concepts; secondly, learning without understanding a particular idea is just a total nonsense!

APART FROM STUDYING, WHAT DID I ENJOY IN THE UNITED STATES?

I enjoyed Philadelphia, where I spent about semesters! This is surely an old city with its own drawbacks, but it is a city with a soul, a city rich in history because one has to know that it sued to be the former capital of the United States. Apart from « Philly », I had the opportunity to visit the twin cities of Saint-Paul as well as Minneapolis, both located in the northwestern state of Minnesota. Compared to Philly, those twin cities were much more modern and the surrounding environment kind of looked like the environment you would find in some places in Canada.

I also have visited the deep south of the US, in New Orleans, which a few decades ago, was among those southern states known for practicing racial segregation. First, you might be wondering whether I want there alone. Just like I did when I was travelling through Europe a few before, I just booked a flight and an accommodation from a travel agency located inside the premises of Temple University, and went there by myself. When I landed there, I just felt that the environment was quite different indeed from the northern part of America. I do not mean that people were mean or bad, it is just that I felt that « something » out of the ordinary has happened it some time ago. For example, I saw that the frictions between whites and Black Americans were a bit harsher down here than it is in places like Washington DC for example. You also have those « invisible codes » that still seem to exist here, but which have already disappeared or evolved much north. I remembered knocking at the door of a fancy restaurant in downtown New Orleans; a patron opened the door for me and spoke to me very politely by saying that surely, I could have lunch there. But as we moved inside and as I wanted to sit « over there » on the right as to my perception, the left side was a bit crowded, the patron very politely invited me to sit with the other guests on the left side of the room using an argument that the right side is normally open during the evenings only. On the spot, I did not realize that there was a strange connotation to that invitation, but I just agreed and sat with the other guests, most of whom, I precise, were white Americans, or more precisely, white southerners. As I sat, some just nodded politely.

The next day, I have booked a tour to visit a very well-known plantation, called Oak valley. It was on a tour and it was a place surrounded by oak trees. In this sublime villa, there was a very beautiful house, which was owned by ancient plantation owners in the 1800s. Not far from it, one could find renovated houses, in which former slaves used to live.

Even though I was technically an African, my South-eastern asian ancestry (and genes) may have made that experience quite different from, let’s say, a person who might have been of an African descent or someone who ancestors who were ancient slaves. Here, in the southern part of the US, this hurtful past still haunts its victims, but to some extent, the whole American South itself.

A few days later, after this trip in the state of Louisiane, I flew back to Philadelphia to pursue my last semester. I had just a few subjects to take as well as one summer session before being able to finally graduate with my BBA degree. During the spring semester, I have had interesting courses among which the Risk Management course, taught by an American of Italian origin, who knew how to inspire us with his long-lasting passion. I remember doing a project on this particular course and that project that I chose (with my group mates) talked about the financial cost of the very sad and tragic 2001 event, which happened in New York. I have no idea whether it was my non-local perspective which made it interesting, but I managed to hold the breath of the whole assembly during the presentation.

The same semester, a marketing teacher of mine – for some reasons I do not know – has made everything in her power to fail me and some other students in her class. That event just reminded me of what happened to me in France a few years ago with that director who sabotaged my application to apply to Temple U. Being of a tempered and calm personality (that has helped a lot during my life by the way), I just remained calm as I knew that the chances of succeeding would be so low and that in any cases, my failure had nothing to do with the quality of my work. It had a purely discriminatory motive. So…. I just waited that the semester ends and waited that she flies to Norway for her vacations. Once she left, I wrote her an email saying that I was a bit « exhausted » and needed some time off. But in fact, instead of flying off to Madagascar, I just got registered with another lecturer, Craig. A (for the same subject), and got enrolled into the summer session! Now guess what, by exactly providing the same level of effort, the marks I have obtained with this lecturer, Craig. A, were way above Ms. Schau has given to me. That is already some kind of proof that there was clearly some form of « favoritism ». When she actually realized that I « fooled » her (as her colleague, a certain Smith saw me), it was way too late for her to intervene, and despite her effort to persuade Craig. using many arguments, the fact that I have proven to him that I could provide good-quality work, has made Ms Schau arguments totally meaningless!

As you can guess, before the end of the summer session, I passed this subject, which meant that I could now graduate!

I graduate with most of the CEFAM students, most of whom decided not to continue with another BBA degree. The day of my graduation, I can always remember my name being called, but what made me « laugh » was the American guy who had some struggle to pronounce my first as well as my last name, as firstly, it was not an English name, and second, because it was a long and unusual name. But that was fun, I started to get used with it and can fully understand that no one is supposed to be perfect; we just all try to do our best!

As soon as my semesters finished, I spent about 3 additional weeks in Philadelphia to enjoy that place for the last time. During this time, I visited most of my French and African friends – most of whom I’ve considered as family as we spent so much time together here in the US but also there in Europe, and to be entirely truthful I guess most of us did consider each and everyone as a sort of a family member, to some extent.

Fall was about to kick in when I left the United States… I cannot forget that funny incident at Philadelphia airport, where I got issues to board the plane. Having seen that I had no French visa in my Madagascar passport (when transiting through Paris, any nationals from Madagascar do NOT require a visa, unless they plan to stay in France for more than 24 hours; it is being called by the French as « Transit aéroportuaire » or airport transit, which normally does not require any visa at all!), I had to explain this agent that I was just passing through Paris, but will continue my flight to Madagascar four hours later! It took me almost 2 hours to make him understand things that even a 7 year old Malagasy kid would understand! In other words, I missed my plane to Paris just because I had in front of me an Air France staff who did not understand that I had another flight to Madagascar; he kept believing I was to disembark in France.

At the end of the 2 hour conversation, he finally understood but that was too late, I have missed my plane, so they had to disembark my 3 luggages and I had to book for a hotel for another 3 days until another flight to Paris becomes available.

After 3 days, I came back to Philly airport, went queuing at the desk that same agent was actually working. Why is that? In that way, I was to make sure that at least, after this 2 hour « intelligent » dialogue, he would remember the Madagascar guy who plans to transit in Paris Charles de Gaulle airport, and who then flies to Madagascar…and guess what, he did remember me well, and that time, he knew for sure that we have already solved the situation last time. But still, I had at least 30 kgs of luggage excess; not astonishing as I have decided to buy many things (including some maple syrup jars from Vermont) and have expected that excess. The same agent obviously let me know about this and I just answered to him: « I have a Miles card so what if I’m using my miles to pay for the excess ». As it is a rule, he just accepted.

The flight to Paris was to take about 8 hours, and as we approached the Western coast of France, I just felt at that moment that America was there, way beyond of what is now this vast Atlantic ocean. I start to realize that I have undertaken something big and have confronted obstacles, challenges in a country that I barely knew. Not only so, I have succeeded to get an education and go till the very end of it in a place I had to learn to speak the language. Yes, I have suffered for some time! sure, I had to explain things to people so that they could understand why I struggled so much with my English! But if you asked me whether this struggle was worth it? I will respond you with a Malagasy proverb « ny valala tsy mandry inin-droa am bavahady », which signifies that it is rare that life gives you a second chance, so if you have one, just go for it!

BACK IN MADAGASCAR

In 2004, I was back in Madagascar after having spent time in France, as well as a bit in the US. Even though I finished and obtained my BBA degree from a US university, I had this feeling that I wanted more and that those few years of overseas experiences weren’t enough, at least for me. I had the chance to settle down there but for some reasons, my spirit went thinking of pursuing a degree elsewhere, but right now, I had no idea on earth where would that be?

The very first months of my stay in Antananarivo were more than an adjustment. I had to learn to get used to the quite conservative mentality and behavior of people in Madagascar. I remember living in the southern suburbs of Tananarive, and even though I had all the comfort that I needed, that place was entirely different from any places I used to stay in France or America. Unlike developed countries, people in this place tended to mingle into your own business and your daily life. There were moments for example you feel observed and envied (that suburb of antananarivo has a high unemployment rate, and also reminds me of some places in South Africa where there was a huge gap between the richest and the poores) and to be entirely honest with you readers, I have ever felt this kind of « strange feelings » during all these years I have spent in France and America, because over there, people have something to fill up their day, and on top of that, they have been raised to respect other’s privacies and life. I understood that I had to put a strategy in place, and that is not a strategy to fight back as changing those types of mentality would almost be impossible, but more a strategy to continue the « study road » elsewhere.

instead of losing my time thinking about the « mentality issues » of some people there, I started to look for post-graduate degrees in places like Germany or the United Kingdom. At that time, my father was working with a UK-based company, which was conducting geological surveys in northern Madagascar. One of the persons there advised me to apply for a university in Nottingham. I constituted the application to both that University and another university in Northern Germany, more precisely, in Bremen.

Now, we all know that university applications take time, knowing that there will be months of waiting time for the application, and other 2 or 3 months waiting time to get a study permit, I decided to do what I never had the courage to do when I was a teenager!! I decided to travel on my own in southern Madagascar, using the most basic mean of transportation ever, the famous « taxi-brousse » or bush taxi! I had not knows it at that moment, but this archaic trip will change the fate of my studies forever!

TRIPS TO SOUTHERN MADAGASCAR

After having spent a few years travelling in Europe and the US, I thought : How is it to travel in a country that is far less developed?

It is an experience that I will probably never forget, but at the same time, this experience has allowed to meet all sorts of people, to get to learn things that I have never knew about my own country! At the same time, it has probably shaped my perception of things and who know…was it thanks to that funny trip that I became more willing to be able to appreciate countries like Australia or Canada?

DEPARTURE TO AUSTRALIA

february 10th, I am standing in front of the desk at the airport to register my luggages. I just realize now that the trip that I have undertaken in the south is now over. I keep shuffling in my head those faces that I have encountered and made this trip so special. I am also remembering those days spent in the bush taxis, travelling in the middle of the night on the National 7 road. I also recall those nice moments spent with the FCE staff, notably the train drivers and ticket controllers, with whom I sympathized with after undertaking so many trips in the South-eastern part of Madagascar.

Now, I’m here again, ready to fly overseas, in a country I have ever been and whose official language is equivalent to what I would define as « my third language », after Malagasy and French, but thinking about my two semesters in the United States would help me reassure myself that I could probably do it.

It is now around 3 PM and I am about to say good bye to my parents. Unlike my very first departure to France many years ago, this trip, I will have to do it all by myself. Indeed, no one is coming with me. After tomorrow, I will be landing in a country that neither my father nor any of my extended family members have had the chance to step foot on.

Now, having hugged my parents and my sister, I crossed the security points, and I remember once I picked my hand luggage from the scanner, I turned by back hoping they were still behind looking from far…but as I looked, they were no longer there…. All I could see was the public area of the airport where they were standing a few minutes ago with people walking back and forth, and this noise that is so particular to airports. At that moment, I realized that I was leaving Madagascar for good.

…

The Air Mauritius plane awaits for us to board. Around 5 PM, the plane takes off the runway and heads to Mauritius, which we reached after 1h35 minutes. When it landed in Ramgoolan Intl. airport, the night has fallen and as we debarked, we had to queue for the immigration as I had to spend one night in Mauritius. The cab that picked me up proposed that he comes back the next day but the next day, I ended up taking the shuttle bus to go back to the airport.

…

That day was a « grand day » as I am going to fly to a totally new place. Over there, I knew no one and am aware that I will have to build my own network of friends once there. If you ask me if I had apprehensions, I would say yes, I did.

Once passed the security point, I was now inside the duty free zone. I looked at the screen to make sure I embark on the right gate. For now, very few people were queuing but despite of that, I couldn’t help myself slowing down and paying attention to those who were there because for the first time, I was to see many Australians in just one place. After 20 minutes or so, many more joined the queue..most were families coming back home after some vacations in Mauritius, others were businessmen probably and the rest were surely Mauritians who were flying to Australia. For sure, I am the only Malagasy boarding this flight bound to Sydney today!

…

After the different procedures, the A340 took off and was heading eastward. It is for the very first time that I have taken off from Mauritius and headed towards that direction. The flight was to last 11 hours but it was a pleasant trip as I had the chance to chat with a Mauritian man who has been living in the UK for years and now, plans to visit his daughter who is studying in New Zealand. He will be just passing through Australia tomorrow before boarding to another plane to Auckland.

…

After the lunch, the night set quickly as the plane is flying eastward. I managed to sleep for a few hours, but at a very moment, I just woke up in the middle of the night. I looked around and everyone was asleep. I raised my eyes to look at the map and noticed that our place was now right over the western coast of Australia, somewhere south of where Perth is. Even though I wasn’t sitting close to the window, I did my best to try to look through one of the windows which was left open by mistake I guess, and I could see some lights stemming from what I would define as a small town; without doubt, I have finally reached the shores of this continent, that I have ever expected to see anytime in my life and I just could not believe I was here. Another 2 hours went on before breakfast was served. Right after that, we almost reached over Adelaide and the plane made his way through probably northern Victoria, Canberra before commencing descent to Sydney. Just 45 minutes before landing, they started to send a video on which I could recognize Steve Irwin, a highly known person in Australia. The video was to warn passengers about the highly strict quarantine laws existing in Australia and informed that any food, products containing for example nuts or meats had to be declared upon entry.

THIS IS AUSTRALIA!!

I will always remember when the Airbus 340 did its final approach to Sydney; it was a quarter to 6 in the morning and we were in the middle of the summer in the southern hemisphere.

From above, I could see the lights from firefighters and those streets, being all parallel the one to the others.

The city of Sydney was now below me and I couldn’t wait to finally discover it, after so many years of wishing that one day, I could see this beautiful country for real!

This was downtown Sydney back then as I first saw it!

One landed in Sydney, I said goodbye to the mauritian guy, while he wished me good muck for my Master degree. After a few minutes, we all disembarked and as I was walking inside the airport corridors to head towards the immigration, I could already perceive this Australian accent hearing airport staff coming the other way.

This is the neighborhood of Quakers Hill, located in Western Sydney. That was were I have lived the very first months of my arrival, in a cottage among other international students. having always lived by myself during my studies in France, sharing a living space with total strangers is going to be a new challenge for me.

As paradoxal as that lay sound to you, this trip that I have undertaken in southern Madagascar – in which I got myself used with constraints and discomfort – will be of a great help for me to cope with this new experience!

The surroundings of Quakers Hill, Western Sydney

It took me a while to get familiarized with this whole new environment, but I have to admit that living in France as well as spending some time in the US has helped me a lot to adapt to this new country. One night, one of my roommate, a guy from the Emirates, had to go to downtown Sydney to visit his friend; He suggested that I accompany him so that he could show me the way to the City as well as getting used with the train system in Sydney. As in any big cities, Sydney is a busy town with lots of restaurants, all sorts of amenities as well as all types of shops. Unlike Paris, Sydney is highly cosmopolitan and is the home of many migrants coming from so many corners of the world!

Here is a video of how Sydney Harbor looks like when I was travelling on the ferry!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbelHdNmFWs

WHAT EDUCATION OPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE IN AUSTRALIA? There are many Universities in Australia, but another option consists of studying for shorter courses, which are being offered at TAFE colleges. The link is below:

www.tafensw.edu.au

If you are looking into getting into a Bachelor’s program or a Masters program, you also have the option to apply for those in one of the Australian Universities. You can find the liste right below, otherwise, as I said earlier, you can contact an IDP Office in your country or get in touch with Go Study Australia, https://www.gostudy.com.au, which is an office based in Melbourne, and which advises foreign students about the different study options available to them in Australia!

Here is a video of how Sydney Harbor looks like when I was travelling on the ferry!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbelHdNmFWs

www.tafensw.edu.au

WHAT WERE THE FIRST THINGS I SAW IN AUSTRALIA?

When I first arrived in this country located so far away from any other places I have visites, I was so impressed to see the famous icons of Sydney, which were so known worldwide, and which included the Harbor Bridge, the Opera House, the famous QVB (Queen Victoria Building) among others. Fours months after my arrival in Australia, I have travelled withe. a friend of mine to Canberra, the capital city of Australia, a city which was created because The two giants, Sydney and Melbourne, could not find an agreement which of them would become Australia’s capital; The creation of Canberra was then said to be a « compromise »

#australia #madagascar #studies #france #malagasy #travels #voyages

1 note · View note

asterlizard · 5 years

Text

UK trip summer 2019

(Argh! I’m sorry for the delay! I meant to finish this back in June, but I haven’t had much time to finally get around to it)

I haven’t been to the UK in 3 years, and while the feelings were admittedly mixed, because it involved a lot of cleaning up and donations of my grandparents’ items, I did get to have a bit of fun and do some new things on this trip.

Our flight would leave in the middle of the day, but we still had to wake up early so that we could arrive at the airport, do airport security, and get to our boarding gate in plenty of time.

This started off by waking up at around 7:00 in order to meet a Lyft driver (for a first time rideshare, Uber failed to find someone for us) who would take us to a bus stop, which would take us directly to the airport.

As we were arriving at SFO, I could have sworn I saw some beehives in a patch of grass between the weaving roads. However, researching it doesn’t seem to bring up anything. Hmm...

I was looking forward to eating pizza at the selection of restaurants before the security checkout, but unfortunately it was closed, and all of the other restaurants seemed to have been replaced. So the only thing that appealed to me then was Chinese food. It was pretty tasty though.

The entertainment on the flight was a little different than what I’m used to (then again I haven’t flown in a few years). They had more limited music options, and the only decade available was the 80s. I could also zoom in anywhere on the map, which is a horrible distraction for someone like me :P Also, the food was pretty tasty, especially the mango sorbet, which was the definite winner for me :P

Cool view of Alcatraz just before we flew past it

I witnessed an airplane halo, also known as a ‘glory’!

Since we travelled light, we didn’t have to wait to collect our luggage afterwards. We also breezed through the passport check, since we’re British citizens.

I like this mirror effect, but the distortion made it extra cool

At this point, it was 7 in the morning, and we had to meet up with a family friend who lives in London, where we would stay at overnight before progressing to our destination. Along the way I saw some students using the Tube to get to school (it was a school day after all). This was kinda interesting as someone who grew up in America and never had to wear a school uniform.

We actually had to meet our friend by walking from the nearest Tube station to her house (which is fine, I don’t mind walking! Especially after a 9 hour flight). Not long after we met up, she showed me this little fox sleeping outside her window (I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in person before!) It likes to do this when the sun is out. Unfortunately for it, it was sleeping next to a couple of squawking magpies.

We then went on a short walk along the canal. There we saw a swan family and a coot family (and babies!!)

We would then head over to the British Museum. Our friend told us in advance that it would be hosting a manga exhibit, and we arrived the day after it debuted. Just before heading over, she brings up that the Rosetta Stone was also there. I didn’t anticipate this, because I thought it was held in a different museum. So I was getting more excited to see the Rosetta Stone over seeing the manga exhibit xD (I joked that I was about to meet my ‘rock star’)

It was about ￡20 to enter the exhibit, so only I went, while our friend and mum explored the rest of the museum. The exhibit started off with a ‘trip down the rabbit hole’, in reference to perhaps the most influential British work in Japanese media, Alice in Wonderland, and its appearances in manga over the years.

Then it showed the history of manga, manga influences, a brief manga how-to, and genres of manga. I saw some familiar works, like Astro Boy, DragonBall, Sailor Moon, a work from the creator of Akira, One Piece, Golden Kamui, Saint Young Men, etc. I also saw some works that I've never encountered that I'm interested in (a rugby manga, a wheelchair rugby manga coming soon, a murder mystery manga at the British museum, a manga about a saxophonist)

There were also some video exhibits, whether it's clips from anime next to their respective manga, creators/staff talking about their creative process, artists drawing their manga, or a series of clips from Ghibli films, but you weren't allowed to take pics of these.

At one point, I even saw an Attack on Titan cosplayer! (ready to take down the giant inflatable titan head I presume)

It’s difficult to read, but this is Morohoshi Daijiro, and it says that Hayao Miyazaki was strongly influenced by him. I’ll have to look at his stuff sometime.

I probably spent about two hours in there, longer than I expected. Admittedly I was tired, and my legs were getting sore, and a little over half an hour before I was done I needed a loo. I was feeling all sorts of physically gross at this point, and I had no idea how much of the exhibit I was actually absorbing even though I tried.

Before the end of the exhibit, I waited in line to get a photo taken, so the machine would add a comic-like gradient to it and insert it into a comic panel. Once I was done, I made a beeline to the nearest loo (for a split moment I panicked that they would be the ‘pay-to-use’ loos, and I didn’t have any money on me, as all of my stuff was with mum, thankfully it wasn’t).

After meeting back with mum and our friend, we headed back to our friend’s home, as I was feeling too exhausted to do anything else.

By the way, I did get to see the Rosetta Stone, but I would need to see it again when I’m not jet-lagged and there’s less people. By the way, I also learned that the figures on the pediment over the British Museum were created by my ancestor, so... y’know, there’s another reason to revisit the place.

I finally went to bed after some dinner, dessert, and a refreshing shower. I had been awake for about 32 hours!

The next day, mum and I stocked up on food (most of which I missed after a long time of not eating them. I still wish I could eat them more often!) and travelled by train to our destination.

The train also was different than what I’m used to. The livery is different, and instead of there being a ticket(?) on the top of an occupied seat, there was a red/green light above the window that indicated whether the seat was occupied or not.

At some point our passenger neighbours were cracking up and couldn’t stop laughing, which was contagious enough for me and a few other strangers to laugh. It was a great moment. When we arrived, we met up with my aunt, uncle, and cousin, and we had fish and chips and a good chat.

The day after we arrived, we already got started with clearing my grandparents’ house. At this point, I already made peace with the fact that we would need to sell the place (nobody in the family wanted it, plus it needed a lot of work done to it, which would have been pretty costly). Unfortunately, because they had a lot of things, we had to be a bit ruthless with what we had to get rid of, because we certainly couldn’t keep it all. I also let go of a few things I grew up with that I was willing to part with and donate. Still there were several items we were able to keep and bring home with us. Thankfully mum’s friends also would try and keep other things for us. It was still a bit of a heartbreaking process though.

I also finally (after a long time) had a 99! It feels good to walk into an ice cream shop and order one, and they'll know what you're talking about :P

Speaking of food, according to my friend, it’s apparently a crime that I haven’t been to a Gregg’s yet, so I tried some of their food, which were delicious! Unfortunately, they didn’t have an iced split, which my friend has, and is apparently really good. (I love international chats, because my friend can say something like 'try a 99 with monkey blood', and it will make no sense to non-Brits) Even the berries are tastier here! idk if it’s because we’re closer to berry farms, but they’re sweeter and juicier than the ones I get back in America.

Speaking of which, the shops in town are different than what I remember. Only a few places I visit regularly remained.

I also got to see a circus for the first time. Although the acts were amazing, my favourite part of the show, believe it or not, were the clown segments. They consisted of a father and 10-year son duo, and the antics were amusing (the duo trying to run and hug each other but missing and in the end hug ‘around’ each other instead, the father getting an audience member to throw a potato onto a carving fork held in his mouth and epically missing, the father getting some audience members to ride an invisible motorbike with him, etc) Unfortunately the show did have some strobe lights and animal segments (even if they weren’t hurting them, I still don’t see the appeal of watching wild animals doing unnatural things :/ )

One of the things that hadn’t changed was our local cobbler still being in business. Even before the trip, mum wanted to pay him a visit so that he could repair her shoes. He's one of the last relics of the old town, he's 78, and has worked for 57 years including 7 years as an apprentice. He was even one of mum’s first memories from when she was small! There’s something charming about a town shoe shop having several piles of stuff, topped with a huge pile of shoes and the smell of glue and shoe polish while a shoe repair motor runs in the background :)

The local bookshop owner also had a charming shop, with piles of books everywhere. And yes, it’s so small and narrow, only one person at a time can visit. We visited his place a few times to donate most of my grandparents’ books, as well as old items like maps and photographs. We can breathe a sigh of relief that they will be protected and given a new home.

Went for a 2.5 hour walk, first along the beach, then through a newer and more secluded area of town that I’ve never visited before (I ALMOST saw a robin, I’ve only seen the American robin in person)

At one point after shopping, I was holding a leek in my hand, and a lady passing by quipped to me, “I know we’re Welsh, but that’s a bit excessive” :P

Also, idk what made me think of it, but I imagined, instead of dog shows, there would be snail shows. It would last for hours, walking the snail would last for 10 minutes instead of 10 seconds, and the awards would be something like: 'Largest Snail', 'Fastest Snail', 'Hungriest Snail', 'Perkiest Snail', 'Longest Antennae'...

>:U

(I took quite a few panorama shots during this trip)

Unfortunately, a pathway I like to take was closed off

We visited some friends of ours, and some friends of ours visited us. My family and I also did a little burial ceremony for my grandparents (originally mum wanted to buy sweet pea flowers, as they were my grandmother’s favourite. I then ask if my grandfather had a favourite flower. Mum didn’t really know, but she did remember he would always buy my grandmother a rose because he loved her so much. So we bought a red rose as well (afterwards I learned from a friend that sweet pea flowers are a symbol of protection and goodbyes, which is INCREDIBLY SWEET BUT SAD 😭))

The next day we had miserable weather due to Storm Miguel. It was surprisingly the only bad day we had weather-wise. And yet, for some reason mum and I decided to eat out at an Indian restaurant (the food was pretty tasty)

During most of the trip, my family have been fervently trying to research who the people in my grandparents’ paintings were and how they were connected to my family. The only thing I got out of it so far is that my family might be more Scottish that I thought!

Went shopping in Carmarthen (and crossed a bridge next to some sheep, close enough to hear them), but I had to make a train that arrived half an hour after I woke up! Ate at Pizza Express (the food was tasty, but the strawberry still lemonade was PERFECT) Unfortunately we had to cut our shopping time short, because our earliest trains to catch were at around 14:30 and 17:30, and we would rather get back home as soon as possible. We were able to get most of what we wanted though.

One day while I was hanging out with my younger cousin (we chatted a lot during the trip, he does Irish dancing, and he taught me the difference between the different dances), he introduced a couple of fun games that the family got to play: Camping, and Spoons

Camping: Preferably played with 3 or more people It's a rotation game in which the rest of the group has to figure out what the leader's pattern is Starting with the leader, each person says 'I'm gonna go camping, and I'm gonna bring...' and then a noun. When the leader says their phrase and noun, they have an unspoken pattern they decided to follow, whether it's a bit of subtle body language they make while saying it, or if it has to do with the nouns themselves. The next person then says the phrase and a noun in hopes that they will follow the pattern. If they do, the leader will respond to their phrase, 'you can come', otherwise 'you can't come'. After the pattern is revealed, the next person becomes the leader, and the cycle continues. Players are allowed to guess the pattern depending on how many people got it (eg: you are allowed to ask for hints if stumped, and if everybody gets it, the pattern can be revealed) In hard mode, if your attempt is part of the pattern, regardless of whether you know the pattern or not, you have to sit out the rest of the game. (examples of patterns: saying whatever while having both feet on the floor and hands on lap, dog breeds, alphabetical succession between players (eg: 'hedgehog', 'iodine', 'Jamaica'...), the nouns have to begin with the same letter as your eye colour (lol I never got this one because I don't regularly make eye contact with people), the noun has to begin with the same letter as the cardinal direction you're facing, the noun has to begin with the same letter as the colour shirt the player after you is wearing)

Spoons: Preferably played with 3-13 people It's a game of speed, similar to musical chairs There are n-1 spoons in the middle of the table for n number of players and n number of ranks One player becomes the leader, in which they shuffle the cards and deal four per player. When the leader says 'go', every player including the leader removes a card and places it for the person to their left to grab, while each player must always end up with four cards per 'go' (when saying 'go', the key is that there shouldn't be much time for thinking, the game must move quickly, but there should be about a second or two to organize your cards if needs be, so roughly every 3-5 seconds per 'go') If a player has four of one rank, they must grab a spoon, and all of the other players must grab a remaining spoon as quickly as possible, in the hopes that they won't be the last player without a spoon A player that ends up without a spoon loses a life, and after three lives are up, they're out of the game. With this, a spoon and a group of four of a rank also sit out of the game When it's down to two players, one of the players sitting out must shuffle the remaining deck, so that the two remaining players don't know what kind of deck to expect, and say 'go'

Went for a lovely walk near the beach

Tiny friends!

Ah yes, this bed of rocks looks comfortable to sit on...

I also got to finally try a 99 with monkey blood, though the syrup isn’t called monkey blood where I’m from apparently. Mum and I also tried to feed the sparrows, but larger birds were lurking and wanted to sabotage the efforts.

After some final decisions on what to bring and what to keep, mum and I left the house for what might have been the last time. We will miss it though. I did take some videos of the place not long before we arrived, as a kind of snapshot of the place, not only for memory, but for a potential reference in one of my stories.

At the airport, I got a pat down for the first time in my life because I had worn the wrong trousers that had more metallic fixings on them >:[

During the flight, I chose a better selection of films on the plane:

旅猫リポート: Cute but kinda sad film about the life of the man who adopted a cat and why he has to give it away to someone he can trust.

Christopher Robin: Very charming film, and the British wildlife scenery was depicted beautifully

Wonder Woman: Well-written film

(I’m curious to know where this is near London)

Overall, this trip was different than what I’m used to, not just because it was less of a family visit, but rather a lot of aspects of what I’m used to have changed a lot over the years. I’m hoping, even if I never live in that house anymore, that I can still pay the town a visit somehow in the future, as it’s still a dear place to me that I had grown up with all my life.

#my posts #my photos #sorry this post is a little more disorganized than before #1) it's been a while since I wrote a travel post #2) tumblr kept undoing my progress several times which was aggravating #I might do a part 2 post with photos from my proper camera #the photos in this post are all from my mobile

1 note · View note

fdhfjdafdajfa · 6 years

Text

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST: I need to raise money for myself and a friend, both currently homeless.

THE SHORT VERSION:

-I am in India without access to my money due to a pickpocketing and bank-related technicalities.

-I am without housing due to repeated, egregious, explicit discrimination. This has depleted most of my funds and I relocated to Calcutta due to air quality, low cost of living, and beef.

-At the same time, a close friend and her partner (located in Delhi and Paris, respectively) have brought to my attention a friend of theirs who is literally being physically restrained in an abusive marriage. We are talking black eyes and bruises. It's a horrific situation but I need her also because she speaks Bengali. So the house hunting process is stalled until she escapes.

-I am staying at an airbnb very close to her place. Even after we manage to get her physically removed there'a more stuff we have to do like filing a police report etc. The airbnb is expensive by Calcutta standards, but it's cheaper than rent anywhere I've lived in the USA.

-I need money for two reasons: to pay the deposit on our flat, and to keep me alive until I can sort things out with the bank, which may not be possible until after I move into a permanent place.

THE SHORTER VERSION:

-Idiot foreigner and victim of ongoing battering need rescue funds so we don't die.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS

Paypal here.

https://www.paypal.me/pcoolpearl

Further details under cut.

ON THE PICKPOCKETING AND BANK ISSUES:

-I was pickpocketed in the market about two months ago. That's life. It happens. Welcome to India. Some idiot got like 200 rupees so that's great for them but I had to cancel all my bank cards. Not really much I could do. I just got home and realised my wallet wasn't there anymore.

-Delhi does not have a functional mailing system at all. This means that the banks were more or less at a loss for how to get the cards at me. This is part of why I relocated to Calcutta. That's Bank Account A. The easy one, but also the far smaller one.

-But as for the larger and more consequential Bank Account B, which contains easily enough money for me to live off of in Calcutta for quite some time, they do not have any kind of policy for what to do in the event that someone ever manages to escape the land of the free and the home of the brave. This is the one tied to my social security payments, and is where all my money lives.

-So when I called Social Security they did that thing they do where they try to play gotcha with inconsistencies in your story. In my case I had already tried to get a replacement card weeks earlier, for reasons unrelated. "If it didn't get there weeks ago, wouldn't you have called weeks ago?" "What the fuck? No, I didn't solve any of the problems so why would I have called again and wasted my fucking time on this fucking phone line for no reason, again?" This was after a good 15 mins or so of this kind of grilling, which I find especially grating now after almost a year of living in countries where nobody can lie for shit and so there'a no point in every single fucking person pretending they're a TV detective whose purpose in life is to stop Moriarty from abusing welfare benefits. "If you're going to raise your voice at me, what I'm going to do is I'm going to place a security hold on your account and you'll need to verify your identity." Let me reiterate that she stated explicitly that this was in retaliation for raising my voice and not due to any real suspicion about my identity. In later calls to Social Security it would be revealed that she could

have easily seen on her computer that the card never got to me. That is information very easily verifiable by the World's Greatest Goddamn Detective over there.

-So the next person I called sent me on a wild goose chase to the American Embassy to pick up a form called a Memorandum of Understanding. Judging that the very limited funds I'd had stockpiled in my dresser was not best spent on an auto ride, I walked nearly an hour from the metro station to the embassy. There was a dust storm in this period and I read later that over a hundred people fucking died in it, but I just kept walking towards it because that's where the embassy was. Also I'd never seen a dust storm in my life and had no idea what it was or why the sky was pink.

-When I got there they told me straight up that 1. they don't do mail pickup, which is why the card hadn't gotten to me, and 2. they don't do memorandums of understanding. They offered to send me a different form for 50 USD. "Can't you borrow it?" they asked. "That's not a reasonable thing to say to someone who lives in India," I said straight up. "That's not a real amount of money that people in India have." That's American for "fuck off". So they wrote me a different letter in an attempt to verify my identity. I send this in with my only other forms of identification: my passport and an expired driver's license from Washington state. Waited 3 business days as instructed.

-They told me they can't use these because of issues relating to my legal name change a couple years ago. Social Security had not been updated as regards the change. "I have my birth certificate and my court certification for the name change, and I can fax those in."

-"What you'll have to do is go to you social security office in person--" "Look, I'm gonna cut you off there. You can see my current address right? Read that off to me. What city is that in." "New Delhi." "That's right, New Delhi. What country is that in? Great. So can, can you tell me where my local Social Security office is here in India?" She could not tell me where my local social security office was in India. There aren't any. That's why she couldn't tell me that. But again, no protocol for this situation and if an American bureaucrat breaks their protocol I'm 90% sure Obama's legally allowed to kill them.

-What I'll need to do is a complicated process involving appointing Americans to act as proxies to go in and file paperwork on my behalf. There are other ideas, but none of them are more sure or less complicated, and they all require me to have a permanent address.

ON WHY I DO NOT HAVE A PERMANENT ADDRESS:

-Those close to me know that I have had a hell of a time finding housing in India. It's not all that bad for an Indian to find housing and when my Indian friends have tried they've consistently been able to find me something in a few hours. But that something is living alone. Which 1. is depressing and 2. is tactically disadvantageous when you don't speak the language of a country because how you will tell the food panda guy where to go...

-So I moved in with an Indian girl who seemed nice enough, and her sister who seemed if anything even nicer. This was about a week before I was pickpocketed as described above.

-In India there's this big thing about vegetarianism where it's a highly important in determining one's role in caste hierarchy. Unfortunately for me I do not give a shit and think the caste system is dumb and scrambled myself some eggs. The disgust my caste Hindu roommates displayed towards me from that point on was palpable. Within another week they were asking me to leave. They got the landlord on their side fairly easily because that's how the caste system works and I was given less than a week to vacate. (To my knowledge there is no law like in USA saying they can't do that.) (Also if you're going to try to argue with me about how caste works shut up, I don't care, not the time.)

-The next day I would eat a straight-up poisoned "cheeseburger" and be sick for the following two weeks.

-Regardless of this I managed to miraculously line up a living arrangement with a Muslim roommate who expressed her approval of my award-winning omelettes and stated a willingness to go with me on beef crawls. (It's technically illegal in Delhi but if you know where to get it you can.)

-But it took about two weeks for the landlord to run my papers. I'm not sure why. Previous landlords had it done in 20 minutes. Most of my information about the landlord comes from this roommate, who is not a reliable narrator for reasons which will be explored shortly.

-During this period of 2 weeks, I, with alarming competence, managed to collect money from various friends and places to pay the deposit. I left my boxes of things at the old apartment and couch surfed around Delhi for like a week and a half while this was pending.

-To be honest I don't know what the fuck this roommate's problem was. She was just not a good person. She'd previously agreed to help me cash the contents of my paypal account through having it transferred to her bank, but now she was saying that if she stepped outside even for a second in this heat due to fasting.

-"Then you should not be fasting," I said, matter-of-factly. Look. Islamic law is my literal, actual field of study. You can't really pull one over on me as regards it. This is the ruling accepted by everyone who's not a goddamn lunatic. She didn't buy it though. Because she was lying. The next day she went to her cousin's house and somehow managed not to perish in the heat. Also, she'd previously explained to me how you can call the bankers to your house in India and do work that way. Then she tells me I am paying rent for the entire month despite moving in on like the 20th. "That's how it works everywhere in India," she told me. Wrong again, because this was literally the fifth house I'd moved into and none of them were like that.

-I now believe that this was something she made up on the spot because everything she would say for the remainder of our relationship would be.

-At this point my sense of stranger danger is going fucking haywire and I know I don't want to live with this person. I announce that I will leave in a matter of days. This was a GOOD decision.

-Citing "feeling unsafe" because I had raised my voice in an earlier argument, she invited her brother's sister-in-law(?) basically to troll me on etiquette because "people do not yell in India" which I actually laughed at because, not to claim expertise in a foreign culture, but ya-huh. "Not us," she clarified, "we are women from good families." Ah. A gender and caste thing. "What do you mean good families? My dad's in jail," I said, a statement about 20% likely to be true; I don't fucking know. I'd already agreed to vacate anyway. Anyway then she looked at me like I stabbed a cat in front of her.

-For the record, I didn't stab anything. But that night my roommate (Abaa) would invite her ex-boyfriend to stay the night. The next day he'd investigate a few of the claims Abaa had made.

-"Don't you agree this is a little threatening? Throwing boxes at her..." "What?" I asked. "Throwing boxes?" "She said you threw that box at her," he said, pointing to a container made of thin tin or aluminum which had been full of popcorn when I bought it. The tin drum was sitting on my desk, undented, full of medications and things. "I didn't do that," I said, truthfully. "She also said you grabbed a kitchen knife and tried to stab her." "What? And you believe this?" "She is my friend. I have to believe her." God bless this guy but he was not regarding me as one would regard someone who had just tried to STAB a friend of his. Also the kitchen knives sucked and would not have been practical stabbing implements; if I were going to attack someone surely the better choice would be the brass punchers I carry on my person at all times.

-She also called the police on me twice. I don't know what she was claiming, it was never explained to me. But both times they basically told her to chill, this isn't an ethno-state.

-Even on the way to the train station to Calcutta she's calling my cab driver trying to get him to turn around so she can yell at me over misplacing the key to the apartment. She texts me this:

In her defence, I had accidentally taken the key, but still, not done, man. She blocked me after saying that so I couldn't arrange a way to get the key back. I guess she wasn't from such a great family after all.

TO CALCUTTA:

-Rent in Calcutta is about a quarter as expensive as in Delhi. Also, Delhi is kind of an overcrowded polluted place where people go to be slaves to capital and die of smoke inhalation and indigestion. The "cheeseburger" gave me my worst case but I pretty much never didn't have indigestion there. Also it's like 45 degrees every day with an Air Quality Index of like 350. So I felt pretty good about going to Calcutta where beef is legal and there's an active art scene and I have almost as many friends as in Delhi and AQI rarely tops 50 and everybody's a communist.

-On the train ride over, a very close friend and her boyfriend (who live in Delhi and Paris, respectively) alert me to a friend of theirs who is in a physically abusive marriage. She needs help escaping. After that, the two of us should get a flat together. They think it'll be good for her to live with me because I'm an abuse survivor who is strong and independent and has experience in DV counseling. Truthfully, they're right. And I didn't stop needing an Indian roommate or anything. So I enthusiastically agree.

-The place that had agreed to host me for my first stretch in Calcutta until I get a permanent place has two complications. One, to get to where my new roommate lives, I need to pay 500 rupees for a 1 hour uber ride, or I can ride the train for 3 hours. Secondly, and perhaps more pressingly, the family I was staying with were forced to vacate because the father's debtors had threatened to kidnap his daughter.

-So I get an airbnb about a block from where my new roommate lives so that she can head over easily when she gets the chance. That is where I am now. It's a little over ₹600 a night. I'm pretty much stuck here until she manages to escape and we manage to get a place, although I have other people working on it as well. Frankly this suits me fine. I'm tired. I've had basically no downtime in like two months. The food here'a fucking fantastic. If I can spend a few days just stuffing my face with ₹40 beef biryani and momos and gain back the weight I lost by having indigestion for six straight months then fuck me up.

Compounding issues is the fact that my computer broke. Fortunately it's under warranty but I had to type this on an mp3 player and it took two hours good night.

ON MONEY:

I need some. If I raise €50, I'll be fine. If I raise €100, I'll be comfortable. Assuming the Apple store doesn't blindside me tomorrow. I'm really hoping for €60 or more.

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST

PAYPAL HERE

https://www.paypal.me/pcoolpearl

#ramadan #laylat al qadr #zakat #sadaqah #signal boost

40 notes · View notes

news-ase · 4 years

Text

0 notes

saraseo · 4 years

Text

0 notes

mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years

Text

BOING BOING GIFT GUIDE 2017

Here's this year's complete Boing Boing Gift Guide: dozens of great ideas for stocking stuffers, brain-hammers, mind-expanders, terrible toys, badass books and more. Where available, we use Amazon Affiliate links to help keep the world's greatest neurozine online.

Gadgets + Gear

Books + Music

Home + Kitchen

Toys + Games

Naughty + Nice

Gadgets

CORY

Edu-Toys Night 'n Day Mechanical GlobeElenco's Night 'n Day Mechanical Globe uses a system of translucent, exposed gears to rotate an internally illuminated globe that displays the seasonally adjusted, real-time night/day terminator as it spins.[Read More]

BUY

XENI

iPhone 8 PlusNow on its eighth numbered generation, the iPhone remains my entire creative studio and almost everything I need to do my work: it replaces my fancy camera, my audio gear and everything else I had to lug around. This thing really is everything. I go big on screen size and storage capacity, with that in mind: the Plus, and 128 GB.

BUY

DAVID

Audio Technica AT-LP60Forget those vinyl-destroying, vintage-inspired all-in-one units. They're all crap. The Audio Technica AT-LP60 is a fantastic beginner (or revivalist) turntable for the price. Its built-in pre-amp means all you need to do is plug it any powered speakers with an audio input.You won't find a better turntable than this for under $100 unless you hit the second-hand market.

BUY

MARK

Flitt Flying Pocket Selfie Camera Drone ($100)I honestly didn't expect that this tiny fold-up drone would perform as well as it does. It does a great job of hovering in place, and is easy to control with a smart phone. It's the first drone I can fly without crashing it into a wall or getting it stuck in a tree.

BUY

ROB

Kano Computer KitBuild your own computer and learn to code art, music, apps, games and more with the Kano Computer Kit, an introduction to the bare metal you just won't get with crap-laden commercial machines. Hundreds of schools use them, and Includes everything you need, including the Pi that acts as its brain, case, speaker, wireless keyboard, RAM, and cables. And unlike most edumuacational computer gear, it looks absolutely cool as heck.

BUY

JASON

An airbag for your motorcyclistDo you love your motorcyclist? This simple, tether activated airbag inflates less than .10 of a second after a rider becomes separated from their bike. Helping to secure the neck, and protect the torso and internal organs, the Helite Turtle, is a top choice for next-generation motorcycle safety.

BUY

DAVID

Kindle E-reader loaded with free classicsFor $50, the entry-level Kindle E-reader is priced right, and comes in black or white! This model has a 6” display and the battery lasts for ages between charges. (If you want to get fancy, go for the Kindle Paperwhite with a built-in reading light so you don't bug bedmates.) Load it with free classic books from Project Gutenbergbefore gifting!

BUY

MARK

Igloohome Deadbolt2 ($238)The Igloohome Deadbolt2 has a programmable keypad instead of a keyhole. It took me about 20 minutes to install on my door. You can send your friends or other people single-use PINs. The smartphone app can also be set so the door unlocks when you touch the keypad - no PIN needed.

BUY

MARK

Mixcder Wireless & Wired Over Ear Headphones ($80)I bought these relatively inexpensive headphones for my daughter, who wanted wireless headphones for when she paints and sculpts. These are comfortable, have good sound quality, and pair easily with an iPhone.

BUY

MARK

PacSafe Transit Travel Hoodie ($130)The thing I like about this pocket-covered hoodie is that the interior pockets have little line drawings indicating what you should put in them - pen, eyeglasses, tablet computer, phone, passport, earbuds, wallet, etc. I like having a garment that tells me what to do, it keeps life simple while traveling.

BUY

ROB

Elf ear earbudsOnce hard to find, these low-end but unique earbuds are now at Amazon. For elves who can't quit their record collection even for a moment, they're still, sadly, only available in lily white. But cheap, at just $13.

BUY

ROB

Raspberry Pi 3 Model BThe best $35 you can spend on a wee yet straightforward and accessible barebones computer, Raspberry's Pi is now in its third generation and lives atop a vast and growing ecosystem of accessories, cases and general craziness to have fun with. The latest flagchip model has a 1.2GHz 64-bit quad-core CPU with twice the Pi 2's performance, integrated WiFi and Bluetooth, and backward compatibility with earlier models.

BUY

XENI

Black & Decker CHV1410L 16-volt Lithium Cordless Dust Buster Hand VacStill the best selling hand vac for keeping your office, home, workshop or hackerspace tidy. CHV1410L has strong suction, and a bagless dirt bowl that's easy to see and empty. Holds a charge for up to 18 months when it's off the charger. High efficiency Lithium ion chargers protect it by automatically shutting off when the battery is charged, so you can store it on the charger.

BUY

ROB

ArduboyBeautiful 1-bit graphics in your wallet! Arduboy is an open-source platform to create and share games and the hardware is made to the dimensions of a business card. Best of all, this tiny toy is only $50. Want more? The PocketChip, at $70, plays Pico-8 games with a dazzling 16 colors; the dev community is more mature and there are countless games already.

BUY

ROB

Second-gen Apple iPad Pro 12.9-inchWith the lastest 12.9" model I've changed my mind about Apple's biggest iPad. Its unmatched pencil latency and powerful processor leave Microsoft (and even Wacom) trailing, while markedly improved third-party applications make Photoshop less critical, at least for me. Finally.

BUY

Books and Media

MARK

The EC Artists Library Slipcase (Vol 3 $54)This high quality box set of four hardbound books has 904 pages of the very best comics of the 1950s. Volume one of this series is out of print and sells for over $250. Volume three is just $54. With art by greats like Wally Wood, Joe Orlando, John Severin, and George Evans, this set is a must-have for comic book aficionados.

BUY

CORY

Canadaland Guide to Canada (Published in America), by Jesse Brown and friendsBrown finds plenty of hilarious awfulness in Canada's past and present, especially in the way that Canadians talk about themselves when they expect Americans might be listening to them. From Justin Trudeau (who talks about refugees abandoned by Trump but takes no action to improve their lot, because he's too busy taking away the citizenship rights of naturalised Canadians with objectionable politics, greenlighting climate-destroying pipelines for the Tar Sands, and making the most of the sweeping surveillance powers he promised he'd abolish after taking office) to Rob Ford to Quebec separatism and the long, deplorable traditions of drunken, racist Canadian leaders who are remembered as wise, even-handed leaders, Brown punctures ever bubble that Canadians have ever blown over the border toward our American cousins.

I laughed aloud at many of these jokes, and they got under my skin, in just the same way that a perfect Samantha Bee rant will. This is a book of weaponised jokes about a country that has spent more than a century burnishing its credentials by blithely asserting its moral and temperamental superiority to its erratic and flamboyant southern neighbour -- and every shot hits its mark. [Read more]

BUY

CORY

Briggs Land Volume 1: State of Grace, by Brian WoodStories matter: the recurring narrative of radical Islamic terror in America (a statistical outlier) makes it nearly impossible to avoid equating "terrorist" with "jihadi suicide bomber" -- but the real domestic terror threat is white people, the Dominionists, ethno-nationalists, white separatists, white supremacists and sovereign citizens who target (or infiltrate) cops and blow up buildings. That's what makes Brian Wood's first Briggs Land collection so timely: a gripping story of far-right terror that is empathic but never sympathetic.

Briggs Land builds on the empathic -- but not sympathetic -- portrayals of far-right separatists in Wood's seminal graphic novel DMZ. It's timely: the Trump era has been a moment of uneasy glory for white nationalists and their fellow travelers, who, having long craved the spotlight, aren't entirely sure what to do with it.

Briggs Land is also in development as an AMC TV series, further evidence of its zeitgeisty nature. Being a Brian Wood comic, it's also gripping as hell, a nonstop crime novel that involves rogue FBI agents, ruthless skinheads, closet racists and overt ones, doting parents who also happen to be unspeakable monsters. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Kindred (Graphic Novel), adapted from the novel by Octavia ButlerKindred is the story of Dana, an African-American writer married to a white man in 1976, who finds herself being violently yanked through time and space to the side of her distant ancestor, Rufus, the son of an enslaver who lives on a plantation in antebellum Delaware. Rufus -- a self-destructive, traumatized and spoiled child -- periodically puts himself in mortal danger, and when he does, Dana is torn from 1976 to save him, and is stranded in the violent, totalitarian south until she experiences mortal terror, whereupon she returns to her present, only moments after she left. Luckily for Dana, mortal terror is a commonplace occurance for black people in Delaware in the 19th century.

Dana's relationship to Rufus, and to Rufus's freeborn, African-American friend Alice -- whom Dana knows to be her ancestress -- is wrenching and claustrophobic, as she is enlisted to help Rufus sexually assault and eventually enslave Alice, revealing the deep violence lurking in Dana's own distant past.

For many years, Dana and her white husband, Kevin, are stranded in history, together and separately, and this affords Butler a chance to add yet more nuance to her tale, weaving in the point of view, privileges and horror of a white ally who, nevertheless, enjoys a measure of safety his black wife cannot claim.

The graphic novel adaptation is extremely faithful to the Butler novel, and does brilliant things with color-palettes, using different tones to demark the present and past, and also the belowstairs and abovestairs places in the lives of the enslaved people. The lines are vigorous and rough, conveying emotion and urgency.[Read More]

BUY

MARK

The Magic Machine: A Handbook of Computer Sorcery ($4)This 1990 BASIC programming book is long out-of-print, but is still valid and a great way to explore fractals and artificial life. I loved this book when it came out and just bought a replacement for my lost copy. Use copies are cheap on Amazon. Get it for a smart kid in your life.

BUY

DAVID

Voyager Golden RecordIn 1977, NASA launched two spacecraft, Voyager 1 and 2, on a grand tour of the solar system and into the mysteries of interstellar space. Attached to each ofthese probes is a beautiful golden phonograph record containing the story of our planet expressed in music, sounds, images, and science. It’s a message for any extraterrestrial intelligence that might encounter it. And now you can experience on Earth as a lavish 3xLP Box Set or 2xCD-Book edition.

BUY

DAVID

The Photographs Of Charles Duvelle - Disques OCORA And Collection PROPHETDecades before the term "world music" became common parlance, Charles Duvelle was traveling the globe recording the sounds and sights of indigenous people around the world. To enable us see the world through Duvelle's eyes, Sublime Frequencies' Hisham Mayet in collaboration with Duvelle released this magnificent tome contains field photographs from 1959-1978, a deep interview, a report he prepared for Unesco in 1978, and two CDs of music that will move you.

BUY

DAVID

Art Sex Music by Cosey Fanni TuttiThe stunning memoir of musician, artist, and cultural provocateur Cosey Fanni Tutti is a must-read for anyone interested in the history of avant-garde music, performance art, underground culture, radical living, and female empowerment. Best known as co-founder of pioneering industrial groups Coum Transmissions and Throbbing Gristle (famously called “wreckers of civilisation” by a British MP), Cosey has also explored the fringes of sex, music, and creativity as a pornographic model, video artist, electronic composer, and, yes, writer. This is her story so far and it’s a doozy.

BUY

DAVID

Little Book of Wonders: Celebrating the Gifts of the Natural World by Nadia DrakeNational Geographic contributor Nadia Drake’s science writing sings with knowledge, rigor, and her own infectious curiosity. This slim and delightful book is no exception. A lovely miniature wunderkammer of Earth’s magical places, startling phenomena, and amazing wildlife, it pairs beautiful photos with Nadia’s poetic and informative captions that spark the imagination and instill a sense of wonder about our world.

BUY

DAVID

Dalí: The Wines of GalaFirst published in 1978, Salvador Dalí’s The Wines of Gala is a stunning and strange guide that groups wines “according to the sensations they create in our very depths” such as “Wines of Frivolity,” “Wines of the Impossible,” and “Wines of Light.” Featuring more than 140 of Dalí’s surrealist illustrations, this is the most bizarre, sensual, and sensational book about viticulture and libations that you’ll ever experience.

BUY

CORY

THEFT: A History of Music, by James Boyle and Jennifer JenkinsTheft traces millennia of musical history, from Plato's injunction against mixing musical styles to the outrage provoked by the troubadours who appropriated sacred music and turned it into bawdy songs about wanting to have sex with hot teenagers (a trick Ray Charles repeated hundreds of years later!); from the racist outrage over rock and roll's challenge to white supremacy to the fights over sampling and the exploitation of African-American musicians who were ripped off 40 years ago versus the interests of their musical progeny whose sample-based music has been distorted and even outlawed by the same musical corporations that screwed the R&B artists, in the name of defending those artists (!).

Jenkins and Boyle are two of the staunchest defenders of fair use and remixing -- their first comic, Bound by Law, was a kind of Understanding Comics for the legalities of fair use -- and it shows: Theft is as laden with visual, textual and musical references as a Dizzy Gillespie solo, an early Public Enemy wall-of-sound, an illegal Girl Talk mashup.[Read More]

BUY

CORY

The Free, by Lauren McLaughlinIsaac West is a mixed-race kid who never knew his dad; he and his sister have raised their alcoholic, abusive mother as much as she's raised them. But Isaac has a plan: his little sister Janelle is smart, better than he'll ever be, and he's going to get her out of their mutual hellhole and into a private school -- and to make that happen, he's graduated from petty theft into grand theft auto, under the supervision of his high-school auto-shop teacher, a cut-rate Fagin who trains and oversees a gang of junior car thieves.

It's this teacher who insists that Isaac should plead guilty to beating a man comatose in a car-heist that went wrong, though the kid who actually did the beat-down was the teacher's cousin, a hulking giant of a kid who has already got a conviction under his belt and faces being tried as an adult if he goes down.

For Isaac, it's an easy choice: spend 30 days in juvie, complete his rehab program, and in return, he'll get enough to send Janelle off to private school. All he has to do is survive, and he's been doing that all his life.

From here, McLaughlin has all the elements for a tight, claustrophobic novel that veers between the terror and camaraderie of incarceration; the brutally honest drama therapy group that Isaac must attend if he's to be released; the mounting danger to his sister and all of the repressed feelings and guilt that weigh Isaac down.

While there's some revenge and redemption here, mostly what there is is unblinking reality, a willingness to confront the impossible without denying it. The kids in Isaac's world are in trouble, and that trouble isn't going to get better for most of them, and maybe not for Isaac. Some of those kids are pretty terrible, but even at their worst, they're still kids, and still rounded people with their own virtues and stories.

I don't know when I've read a more empathic novel, and it's been a long time since I read one that was more sorrowful and joyful at the same time. [Read More]

BUY

ROB

The Complete Elfquest Vol. 4Fresh out in November, this volume contains some of the most exquisite and touching episodes of Wendy and Richard Pini's Elfquest saga, a great alternative to genre fantasy and its grim 'n' gritty modern counterparts. One of America's best indie comics, it's illustrated by Wendy's wonderful artwork – even at its most lighthearted, unanswerable questions of identity, family and freedom lurk between the lines. (Newcomers should not feel they have to start at the beginning, but it sure helps.)

BUY

CORY

The Hardware Hacker: Adventures in Making and Breaking Hardware, by Andrew "bunnie" HuangThe book draws heavily on Huang's own hardware projects, which have included substantial manufacturing in south China, with many hard-won lessons about how things can go wrong and how to make them go right. This is more than a checklist or memoir: it's nothing less than a masterclass in modern manufacturing, and even if you never plan on manufacturing anything, reading these chapters will explain the material world around you like few other texts.

This dovetails neatly into a meditation on the differences between Western and Chinese approaches to "intellectual property" and the way this has informed the manufacturing processes whose outflows are all around us. In these chapters, Huang proves himself to be a thoughtful and incisive critic of law as well as technology, and the thorny questions he raises show up the normal discussion on these subjects up for a shallow scrape over the surface of something deep and difficult.

Huang uses these broad legal and technical passages as a foundation for the second half of the book, which lay out the detective work that Huang did to realize his various hardware challenges, from stick-on soft circuits to an insanely clever device that circumnavigates the law through tight and unsuspected secret creeks that allow him to enter territory that no engineer has ever seen by legal means.

The book concludes with its most speculative and future-looking chapter: a disquisition on the similarities (and differences) between computational bioscience and hardware hacking, based on his work with his "perlfriend" -- his perl-hacking, bioscientist girlfriend -- on hacking genomes. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

New York 2140, by Kim Stanley RobinsonIt's 2140 and trillions of dollars' worth of the world's most valuable real estate is now submerged under fifty feet of water, resulting from two great "surges" where runaway polar melting created sudden, punctuated disasters that displaced billions of people, wiped trillions off the world's balance sheets, and turned the great cities of the world into drowned squatter camps.

But it's 2140, and the cities are coming back. The combination of financial speculation, desperate refugees willing to do anything to find shelter, and new technological innovations are spawning "SuperVenice"s where boats replace cars and high-rises connect to each other with fairytale skybridges, and pumped-out subway stations become underwater leisure clubs. No SuperVenice is more super than New York City, where the boats ply midtown Manhattan's skyscrapers and everything from Chelsea down is an intertidal artificial reef where, every now and again, hundreds of squatters die as the buildings topple.

The forces of finance are deeply interested in the intertidal zones. These great cities were once the world's ultimate luxury products and now they're marine salvage, waiting to be dredged up from the tidal basins, dusted off and monetized. Yeah, there's millions of inconvenient poors hanging out in them, but they're a market failure, producing suboptimal rents on some seriously distressed assets that need a little TLC, capital infusion, and ruthless securitization to bring them back.

Robinson is a master of turning stories about zoning disputes and local politics into gripping, un-put-down-able adventure tales (his novel Pacific Edge remains the most uplifting book in my library). New York 2140 is a spectacular exemplar of the tactic: the financial shenanigans form a backdrop for submarine drone-wars, black-ops kidnappings, private security assassinations, non-state actor cyberwar and economic terrorism, buried treasure hunting, and big, muscular technologies from giant dredging barges to aerosolized diamond sprays. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

WAKE UP!, by Rick Lieder and Helen FrostLife is a continuing cycle of newness, then growth, and then gone: then birth and growth again. Photographer Rick Lieder started thinking about that theme of new life and new beginnings several years ago, and WAKE UP!, published by Candlewick Press, is the result. Working with his collaborator, poet Helen Frost, our book is about opening eyes—our own, first—and pointing to the world that’s right here, containing us all. Helen and rick are both based in the US Midwest, so we started there, with a world that we didn’t need to travel far to explore, only wake up enough to actually see. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Penguin Galaxy Boxed Set, introduced by Neil GaimanLast October, Penguin released its Galaxy boxed set, a $133 set of six hardcover reprints of some of science fiction's most canonical titles: The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K LeGuin; Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A Heinlein; 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C Clarke; Dune by Frank Herbert; The Once and Future King by TH White; and Neuromancer, by William Gibson.

The series is curated and introduced by Neil Gaiman, whose essay on the charm and value of science fiction appears at the start of each of the handsome volumes. It's a fine essay, placing each book in its historical context, and turning a writerly eye to their construction and techniques, as well as some of the memoir that makes Gaiman essays such fine reads (see, for example, his 2016 essay collection The View From the Cheap Seats).

As nice as that essay is, it's eclipsed by the gorgeous design, courtesy of Spanish designer Alex Trochut, whose impressive CV includes a Grammy nomination for Best Recording Package. Trochut does away with fussy book-jackets and prints his titles straight onto the books' boards in stylized, embossed gold leaf type -- with clever type-art for every cover. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Brutal London: Construct Your Own Concrete CapitalBrutal London: Construct Your Own Concrete Capital tells the stories of nine of London's greatest brutalist structures (with an intro by Norman Foster!), including the Barbican Estate, Robin Hood Gardens, Balfron Tower and the National Theatre -- and includes pull-out papercraft models of these buildings for you to assemble and display. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

SHADE THE CHANGING GIRL v.1: Earth Girl Made Easy, by Cecil CastellucciLoma Shade, as her own unique character, was a way of being steeped in the world of Shade the Changing Man, while being its own thing. Some people say that Shade the Changing Girl seems to be a direct sequel of the Milligan run. I say not so. I’ve always approached it as a kind of side-quel. Creator Cecil Castellucci wanted to take care to have nods and echoes to them both, but to be able to stand narratively on its own. It was a way of striking out in a new direction while plucking elements from the Ditko original and the Milligan run.

Our Shade the Changing Girl is a way of changing the changing.

The body of a teenage girl was a great place to start that change. The body of bully was the way to take it to the next level. The idea of a real alien, who moves like a bird in human form was the best way to express it. Add in Marley Zarcone’s wongld. They are blooming and bursting with feelings and big body changes. They are confident and awkward. They are experimenting with identity. They are constantly changing.

When we are teenagers, we are figuring out how to become who we are. To throw down and figure out what it really means to be human and to break free from our parents and to think for our selves. This is why Castellucci loved writing Shade, because as an alien, she mirrors our own growth in this world. She can see the quotidian with eyes that we can’t see the world with. She has to figure out how to transform herself from who she was to who she isn’t. And through her we dive deep into her attempts to discover the meaning of humanity. Loma Shade is changed profoundly by being this mean girl and having to navigate the fall out of living in Megan’s body and in her world. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Paper Girls 1, 2 and 3, by Brian K Vaughanhttps://boingboing.net/2016/12/14/brian-k-vaughan-and-cliff-chan.html https://Paper Girls stars an all-girl cast of newspaper delivery kids for a fictional Cleveland newspaper, circa 1988 -- they are instantly and wholeheartedly likable, like the Goonies or the cast of Stranger Things. They convene on November 1, when the mean teenagers of Cleveland are still out an about and making mischief, picking on the likes of them, and they band together in mutual self-defense.

Then things get weird.

The girls are assaulted by a group of costumed teens, who rip off a Radio Shack walkie-talkie that one of them saved for months to buy. The girls chase down these goons, ending up in a partially built house, whose basement holds a spaceship of some kind, or maybe it's a time-machine -- and after a flash and a bang, they emerge to a transformed neighborhood, overcast with a tornado out of which flap huge, monstrous dinosaurs ridden by lance-wielding, argot-speaking warriors who kill and kidnap all they meet.

Before long, the girls are hurled into a mystery tale of Vaughnian complexity, chased through time and space, meeting ambiguous heroes and villains, including several who may be clones of them -- or older versions, or neither. (Don't foreget books Two and Three) [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Bitch Doctrine: Essays for Dissenting Adults, by Laurie PennyIf you've followed Penny's work, you'll know that the thing that sets her apart from other enraged columnists is her empathy: her ability to understand the self-serving rationalizations, radioactive bullshit, and emotional damage that drives men to threaten her with rape and murder for pointing out that things aren't exactly fair.

But while Penny is perfectly capable of understanding her ideological opponents -- better than they understand themselves, without a doubt -- she doesn't offer them any sympathy. This sympathy -- no less well-informed, no less analytical -- is reserved for people who are getting the shittiest end of the stick: trans people, people of color, poor people, disabled people, other women. Even when she feuds with them, even when she is laid low by anger from her allies, she does the hard work to look past her own hurt feelings, to the missteps that let her to a place of conflict.

Penny is a bridge between two modes of political writing, a hybrid that gets the best of both and offsets their deficits: on the one hand, she's clearly in the Hunter S Thompson gonzo tradition (her adventures running down violent neo-Nazis in Greece are a match for anything HST wrote about Hell's Angels or police detective conventions); on the other hand, she's got the scholarly habit of finding and presenting an issue from every side, even the ones she disagrees with. But while the gonzos reduce their opponents to caricatures, and while scholarly work can dissolve the point of view into a view from nowhere, wishy-washy and free from any kind of thesis or real muscle, Penny is able to forcefully convey her point of view, and back it up by showing that she understands exactly what her opponents are thinking, and why, precisely, they are full of shit. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Lizard Music, by Daniel PinkwaterLizard Music is a novel about Victor, a kid who falls asleep while doing a model airplane and wakes up when the local TV station is going off the air, who discovers that the true late-night programming comes from humanoid lizards who live in a secret nearby volcano and worship Walter Cronkite.

Victor travels to the land of the lizards with the Chicken Man, a recurring Pinkwater character: a kind of hobo figure whose pet chicken is wise beyond her years and dander. What happens next will... Well, it will make you weirder.

No author has ever captured the great fun of being weird, growing up as a happy mutant, unfettered by convention, as well as Pinkwater has. When I was a kid, Pinkwater novels like Lizard Music made me intensely proud to be a little off-center and weird -- they taught me to woo the muse of the odd and made me the happy adult I am today. It's one of those books that, in the right hands at the right time, can change your life for the better and forever. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Landscape With Invisible Hand, by MT AndersonIn 2002, MT Anderson blew up the YA dystopia world with Feed, his zeitgeisty, prescient novel about "identity crises, consumerism, and star-crossed teenage love in a futuristic society where people connect to the Internet via feeds implanted in their brains" -- in his latest, Landscape with Invisible Hand, Anderson takes us to a world where neoliberal aliens have sold Earth's plutocrats the technologies to make work obsolete and with it, nearly human being on earth.

Now we all have to live with that reality: former superstar luxury car salesmen, bank tellers, teachers, programmers -- everyone except for a tiny elite of financial engineers, really -- have been replaced by technology sold by the vuuv (that's the alien race) to the world's 1 percenters when they inducted the human race into the galactic prosperity sphere.

Landscape is told as a series of acerbic, short vignettes -- latter-day Douglas Coupland riffs -- in the voice of Adam, a teenager living in a rotting suburban home amidst the remains of his rotting suburban life, scrounging for rice and beans and painting, painting, painting, the only escape he has. Each chapterlette opens with Adam describing a painting that sets the scene, part of the blasted, wasted dystopia that 99% of the human race lives in while sneering aliens and financial executives tell them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, get jobs, and stop looking for handouts. [Read More]

BUY

ROB

Stories of Your Life and OthersTed Chiang's writing is rare and precise, weaving threads of science fiction into something so haunting and humane I've woken up dreaming about it more than once. Here you can read most of his published work, including the novella that was recently filmed as Arrival and is currently in U.S. theaters. But my favorites are the Borgesian "Tower of Babel," about an engineer breaking through the vault of heaven, and "Division by Zero."

BUY

CORY

The Power, by Naomi AldermanIn The Power, a day dawns, not so long from now, in which every 15-year-old girl finds herself with the power to deal out electric shocks, emanating from an unsuspected organ called "the skein," which rests along the collarbone. What's more, any woman can do the trick, once a 15 year old shows them how.

Chaos. Glorious chaos.

The world's sex-slaves kill their pimps. The women of Saudi Arabia foment revolution. Women whose husbands beat them strike back. Girls whose fathers rape them find themselves able to defend themselves -- with lethal force, if it comes to that.

Concerned parents ask to have their boys separated from the vicious girls who stalk them through school. Mean girl cliques take on a new, deadly overtone. Law and order teeters.

Against this background, a cast of characters: Roxy, the daughter of a ruthless British gangster; Joc, the daughter of an ambitious midwestern politician; Allie, a much-abused foster kid whose foster father has a surprise in store for him, and Tunde, a Nigerian lad whose workshops of storytelling through digital photography just took on a new significance.

Through these characters, a plot as intricate and fast moving as any thriller, with lots of grace notes and seeming detours that converge with the main storyline, giving it energy and velocity.

And throughout, when you're finished, the realization that there was so much more going on, stuff I can't discuss without spoilers -- a story within the story that is chilling, thrilling, disturbing. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Archangel, by William GibsonFrom the start of its run in 2016, Archangel went from strength to strength, packing in so many goddamned O.G. cyberpunk eyeball kicks per page that it felt like some kind of cask-strength distillation of all the visual and action elements that gave the original mirrorshades stuff its dark glitter.

Now that the comic's run is done, the five-issue tale is revealed as a masterful, beautifully plotted war story set in three different wars: WWII as we know it, WWII as it might have been, and a distant all-out nuclear conflagration that may or may not have been an inside job.

This is a time-travel story, but it's one that sets out to break the genre's conventions: it opens with the ruthless son of America's power-grabbed president-for-life traveling back to Berlin at the end of WWII to murder his grandfather and take his place. Take that, grandfather parodox.

Hunting the president's son and his goons is "The Pilot," a USAF ninja in a camouflage suit who must prevent Junior from destroying another world without giving Junior the chance to detonate the belly-bomb all US armed-forces members must have implanted when they enlist. Thankfully, it has a 30 foot range.

Archangel is visually stunning, with all the dark romance of war-torn Berlin as a setting: deviant cabarets, black marketeers' dens, chop-shops, makeshift Soviet command-posts and secret airfields. Then there's the futuristic world of Junior and the president, seen in a cramped bunker in which a rogue scientist is scrambling to support The Pilot from the distant future and a different timeline. [Read More]

BUY

CORY

Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches, by John HodgmanMy first impression of Vacationland was that I'd found a modern version of Steve Martin's classic Cruel Shoes. Hodgman is so very witty, and as he sets up his memoir -- the story of how he was a weird kid raised by loving but largely unconcerned parents -- he has so many tinder-dry asides and beautifully turned sentences and jokes with long fuses that unexpectedly detonate paragraphs later that I was really getting ready to relive my own childhood.

Right as I was getting comfortably settled into Vacationland, I discovered that Hodgman had smoothly transitioned me into some really profound emotional truth -- it's where he starts talking about his mother's untimely death and how he reacted to her terminal illness -- and then back into that dry, comedic mode, slipping the knife in and pulling it out so smoothly that I hadn't even noticed until the blood started to drip. That kind of maneuver requires both a steady hand a very sharp knife, and Hodgman has both.

This sneaky book pulls that move over and over, using comedy and narrative confidence to make important points about privilege, self-delusion, parenting, death, birth, cities, alienation, love -- the whole gamut.

All without ever losing the comedy, which is funny stuff, and it's not a spoonful of sugar that helps all that serious medicine go down, it's perfectly blended into those serious themes.

This isn't a book like Cruel Shoes: it's the book Cruel Shoes gets to be when it grows up. [Read More]

BUY

Home

XENI

Sport-Brella XLPortable wind, sun, and rain shelter that's easy to set up. Can you open an umbrella? Can you drive a couple stakes into the ground? You got this, then. Haul it to the beach, outdoor gatherings or events, camping, sports, and you feel like you have a little private room outdoors. Comes in 6 different colors. Provides UPF 50+ shade. Opens to 9 feet wide, has a metallic undercoating for additional sun protection, internal pockets for stakes, valuables, and gear, plus top wind vents and side zippered windows for efficient airflow. Water resistant, weighs only 11.5 pounds. I first saw someone else on our local beach use it, and asked them where they bought it. Amazonned one for myself. Now I use it nearly every weekend, and love it.

BUY

ROB

3" Glass PyramidMade of "optically clear crystal" and three inches tall, Amlong's Crystal Pyramid is the best Crystal Pyramid. My bacon is fresh, my airspace dangerous, and my undertakings favored.

BUY

MARK

OXO Good Grips Solid Stainless Steel Ice Cream Scoop ($15)The old ice cream scoop we had wasn't really an ice cream scoop. It was a disher, and was more suited for scooping mashed potatoes than ice cream. When the trigger mechanism on it finally broke, I happily got rid of it and replaced it with the OXO Good Grips Solid Stainless Steel Ice Cream Scoop($15). This surprisingly heavy scoop is made from a solid chunk of stainless steel with a comfortable rubber grip, and comes with a pointed end that digs right into hard ice cream, especially if you run hot water over it. It's supposedly dishwasher safe but why put it in the dishwasher? Just rinse it and dry it with a towel.

BUY

XENI

Brondell SourceI bought the Brondell Source in 2015 and it alleviated allergy symptoms; here's the latest model, adding a touchscreen, remote control and an adjustable air quality sensor. Rids the air of dust and dander and tiny particles you don’t need to be breathing—but also filters volatile organic compounds (VOCs). Three-stage advanced purifier system includes certified True HEPA and Granulated Carbon technology. Glowing light indicator tells you when it’s working. One time my dog farted a particularly noxious plume and this thing kicked into high gear with an emergency red glow. That’s when I knew I’d be giving it a five star recommendation.

BUY

MARK

Lynx Sonoma Stainless Steel Countertop Natural Gas Smoker ($2500)This capacious, ultra high-end smoker has a digital control panel, smoker chip box, an instant-reading meat probe. It's got built-in Wi-Fi, of course, so you can monitor the process wherever you are.

BUY

JASON

Wise Owl Camping HammockThe comfort to weight ratio of a good camping hammock is off the charts. Durable and easy to set up, you'll be happy anyplace you can find two appropriately spaced trees.

BUY

XENI

Cuisinart 14-Cup Food ProcessorThe latest model of the best food processor for people who are serious about broadening their happy foodie horizons. Shove entire fruits and veggies into the giant feed tube. Listen to the 720-watt motor fill a 14-cup work bowl with steel slicing and shredding discs. It still comes with a free recipe book.

BUY

Toys and Games

ROB

Rainbow SlimeA glittery additive mixed with kid-safe Elmer's glue, Rainbow Slime is what you make of it. Fun when forming and flexible when dry, the results are beautiful, weird and extremely cheap at $6 or so.

BUY

JASON

The Intellivision Flashback ConsoleRemember the unlucky kid with the parents who got them an "Intellivision" instead of an Atari? Make someone that miserable again! With games no one can remember except maybe that OK one with a snake that couldn't touch its tail but isn't SNAFU, the Intellivision really sucked.

BUY

DAVID

Ejector Seat Button For Your CarA perfect stocking stuffer, this very clever eject button fits into most automobile cigarette lighter sockets. Unfortunately, the product listing clearly states that it's "designed for show only." It is a functional cigarette lighter though so I guess they mean it won't actually trigger your ejector seat.

BUY

DAVID

Swish card gameA beautiful and deeply compelling card game, Swish is challenges your spatial perception to find matches of balls and hoops on transparent cards. It’s a wordless game of pattern recognition that has entranced my entire family including our youngest child, age 8.

BUY

ROB

Bulk Generic LegoYou can get 1000 random pieces of off-brand building bricks for less than $30, guaranteed to "fit tight" and come with "less filler" than the even-cheaper bulk buys.

BUY

MARK

Palomino Blackwing 602 Pencils ($23/doz.)This is a faithful reproduction of the Eberhard Faber original, which is no longer being made. Blackwing 602 have dark, soft lead (the motto printed on the pencil reads"Half the pressure, twice the speed") and features a unique eraser holder. I've been using them for years.

BUY

JASON

Make your own Crazy Aaron's Thinking PuttyThe one thing my 10-year-old enjoys more than making her own floam or slime is playing with Thinking Putty. Textured quite like the legendary Silly Putty of yore, Crazy Aaron's putties come in a rainbow of colors and styles. This set lets you design your own! I am pretty sure Mark could be easily distracted by a can of magnetic Thinking Putty.

BUY

ROB

Copic Ciao Marker SetAt about $200, a full set of 72 Copic markers is a pricey proposition. But that's because they're the absolute best, with perfect colors, easy blending, and a big brush tip good for detail and wash alike. Dip an elbow in the water with a relatively inexpensive 12-marker set; great deals on partially-used sets can also be found haunting eBay.

BUY

JASON

Because cats are totally down with the Dark SideYoda and Chewie as mice for your cat to attack, because all cats align with the Dark Side. Except for Loth-Cats for some reason, but I wouldn't exactly trust them either.

BUY

JASON

Star Wars Viewmaster gift setI am not sure how the whole putting gifts in a sock thing works, but this Darth Vader themed Viewmaster Viewer looks like it'd fit in a traditional Christ inspired gifting sock. Star Wars Viewmaster reels are always pretty sweet. This also makes a good Hanukkah day 4-7 gift for kids who can pull off the entire 8-day challenge. My kid starts getting a hug after day 3.

BUY

JASON

You sank my holiday experience!While it doesn't look much like the genre-defining 'This game isn't as much fun as a commercial made it look' toy of our youth, Electronic Battleship is now more exciting looking while boastin' the same old lows in game-play disappointment! Eeeeelectronic Battleship is no more fun than regular old Battleship, which is also a pretty god damn boring game. This is an excellent gift for someone you do not like, but want to appear you gave a cool gift at opening time.

BUY

JASON

Prison Life RobloxKnow a kid that just can't behave? Maybe a co-worker? Make sure they understand a life of crime will come to no good.

BUY

ROB

Mysterious and Indistinct ShirtFabulous yet classy, the Mysterious and Indistinct Shirt is a premium youth tee and "wears rough and tough for kids who play the same way."

BUY

DAVID

MastermindInvented in 1970 by an Israeli telecom expert, Mastermind is still the terrific game of strategy, logic, and deduction that you might remember from childhood. True, the packaging lacks the Bond-inspired photo of the dignified man and woman that appeared on the original box, but the game is just as elegant and addictive.

BUY

CORY

Largemouth bass sandalsYou will look amazing in sandals that look like gasping largemouth bass, seriously (max size is a Men's 10, so only the dainty of feed need apply, e.g., not me). [Read More]

BUY

ROB

Blank Playing CardsMake your own games! Or just stare at them. Whatever.

BUY

Naughty + Nice

MARK

Wink Plus ($79)In William Burroughs' novel Naked Lunch, Steely Dan III from Yokohama was the name of a stainless steel sex toy. The USB-chargeable Wink Plus vibrator from Crave is probably not what Old Bill Lee had in mind, because it is quite small, but it is made from stainless steel, and packs quite a vibrational wallop, with five intensity levels and two patterns.

BUY

ROB

Wolf Crotch UnderwearWith a "convex design, large space and breathable," the 3D Wolf Head Crotch Underwear "make man looks sexy and wild" and can be yours for as little as five American dollars.

BUY

JASON

Spend your holiday season TwistedThe Twisty Glass Blunt is a brain-hammer. Fill the glass chamber with your favorite herb, screw in the brass mouthpiece, and you are prepared to smoke a lot of weed. Perfect for a day at the beach, or an outdoor music festival, the Twisty Glass Blunt is an absolute favorite. I've got the mini as well.

BUY

JASON

Poop emoji Santa HatWar on Christmas? Christmas seems to be integrating into todays meme-filled emoticon world. Now your Santa can proudly display his favorite emoji, or perhaps this is mean to signify something else.

BUY

https://boingboing.net/2017/11/25/giftguide2017.html

12 notes · View notes