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gstqaobc · 4 years

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The Royal Fascinator Friday, February 21, 2020

How a ‘future Queen in training’ is finding her voice

(Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

When a high-profile member of the Royal Family took her turn on a podcast the other day, listeners heard a voice that might have seemed unfamiliar.

Sure, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, has had a prominent position in royal affairs since her marriage to Prince William in 2011. But she has rarely been interviewed for broadcast. So it came as something of a surprise when she popped up behind the mic for the

Happy Mum, Happy Baby

podcast in the U.K.

But there Kate was, chatting easily with the podcast host for half an hour or so about something that has become a passion for her — early child development. The mother of three sprinkled the podcast with a few personal details — that she tried

hypnobirthing

, that she wasn’t “the happiest of pregnant people.”

As breezy as the conversation may have seemed, it also reflected a significant evolution Kate has made since joining the Royal Family.

“In her recent podcast, the Duchess of Cambridge showed in a variety of ways how much she has raised her game since she married Prince William nearly a decade ago,” royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith said via email.

“She has significantly improved her skill at public speaking, which at the beginning was an ordeal to her.”

She is also showing confidence that comes from years of studying an issue that is — and will be — a major focus for her, said Bedell Smith.

“And she is willing to reveal personal details in an effort to help other new mothers, but stopping shy of over-sharing. In this way, she is being ‘modern’ without being self-consciously ‘progressive.’"

The podcast was only one of several high-profile outings for Kate over the past few weeks, and has drawn inevitable speculation about the degree to which she may be stepping up as the Royal Family deals with the departure of Prince Harry and Meghan.

“Although Kate's high-profile engagements over the past weeks have been planned months in advance, they have highlighted her new level of visibility and engagement that the media obsession with Harry and Meghan has tended to overshadow,” said Bedell Smith.

“With Meghan's departure from official royal duties, Kate can go about her business without the risk of her sister-in-law trying to steal her thunder.”

Kate is reticent by nature, Bedell Smith said, and that gives her a modesty that has “considerable appeal” for the public.

“She has a natural ability to combine accessibility and dignity with a royal mystique, which is very difficult to pull off.”

For the past several months, there have been various headlines around the same emerging theme — that Kate is stepping up her game, hitting her stride, coming into her own.

Last weekend, the Daily Telegraph was reporting how the “Duchess of Cambridge finds her voice as a down-to-earth mother of three.”

As much as the more prominent role is an evolution for Kate, she is treading relatively safe ground. Offering support for parents and caregivers and promoting the importance of early childhood development carry a relatively low risk of controversy.

And those looking for shocking revelations out of her podcast will still be looking.

“To be quite honest, it was quite bland,” public relations expert Mark Borkowski said in an interview from London. “There was nothing much in it.”

And maybe in some ways, that’s not a surprise.

Kate is fully aware she is a “future Queen in training,” Bedell Smith said.

“With the guidance of her husband, the Queen, Prince Charles and expert advisers, [Kate] fully understands that hers is a lifetime commitment that calls for restraint and self-discipline. She knows what she is expected to do, and she has embraced her duties wholeheartedly, not only with enthusiasm, but with an evident sense of joy.”

The Queen, Bedell Smith said, had high hopes for Kate from the moment she entered the scene.

“She clearly is fulfilling those hopes today.”

What can they do?

More than a month after their seismic announcement to go their own way, more details have emerged about how Prince Harry and Meghan will actually leave the upper echelons of the Royal Family. After returning from Canada to the U.K. for a flurry of engagements over the next couple of weeks, they will officially end their royal duties on March 31. Less clear, however, is how they will forge their own path as they seek financial independence and work on building their brand. In the absence of official information, speculation runs rampant, particularly as reports emerge of various meetings, appearances or alliances they may be striking in the U.S. There was an appearance at an exclusive JP Morgan event in Miami, where there were several other high-profile celebrities in attendance. Harry may also be in discussion with investment bank Goldman Sachs about possibly giving a talk on mental health and the military. What they’re doing isn’t really a surprise, suggests Borkowski. “They’re damned if they do, they’re damned if they don’t. It’s a very difficult road they have to navigate now. They do have to achieve some economic independence,” he said. “If you’re going to set out on this journey and you’re going to change the world, set up a foundation, create a movement … you’ve got to raise a lot of money. You’ve also got to start working in rooms of huge influence.” In the U.K., there has been considerable questioning from some media quarters about the alliances they appear to be trying to forge. Some of it has been quite critical. “As much as the media want to stir up the negativity, what are they meant to do? Really, what are they meant to do?” Borkowski said. And those who hear them speak at engagements might find themselves supporting the causes Harry and Meghan are trying to promote. “Arguably, they’re in rooms where they might change conversations, attitudes …. and make [those listening] think about some issues that are close to their hearts,” said Borkowski. “They have a vision. They have a brand and they have to work with people who can make that brand work.” But they may have to tweak — or significantly change — how that brand is developed. Buckingham Palace is reviewing their use of the label “Sussex Royal,” with the “Royal” element of that potentially causing concern. The BBC reported that their spokesperson said the use of that word is under discussion, and an announcement on that would come along with the launch of Harry and Meghan’s new non-profit organization.

The pain — and tolerance — of royal divorce

(Stefan Rousseau/The Associated Press)

Royal departures of a rather different nature are also unfolding, with the divorces of two family members announced in short order over the past few days.

The Queen’s eldest grandson, Peter Phillips, is splitting from his Canadian wife, Autumn Kelly. Also divorcing are the Queen’s nephew, David, Earl of Snowden, and his wife, Serena Stanhope.

Since the splits became public, there has been much speculation about how Elizabeth feels about it all.

“Just as the Queen was distressed by the divorces of three of her children, it is likely that the latest announcements have pained her equally,” said Bedell Smith, author of Elizabeth the Queen: The Life of a Modern Monarch.

“But her attitude has become more tolerant, recognizing many marriages don't work out for any number of reasons that are impossible for outsiders to fully understand.”

It wasn’t always that way.

Bedell Smith looks back to a speech Elizabeth made in 1949, while still a princess, when she condemned divorce for creating “some of the darkest evils in our society today.”

That was a result of a number of factors, including the Church of England rules of divorce, the view of the British establishment of the day and her family’s “revulsion over the abdication of her uncle, King Edward VIII, to abandon his sovereign duty to marry a twice-divorced woman — a major crisis that threatened the foundations of the monarchy,” said Bedell Smith.

Other divorces rocked the family, including those of the current Earl Snowden’s parents, Princess Margaret and Antony Armstrong-Jones, and three of the Queen’s four children: Charles, Anne and Andrew.

“It was only after the Anglican divorce rules were relaxed that the Queen could accept the remarriage of Prince Charles to divorced Camilla Parker Bowles,” said Bedell Smith.

The current divorces appear to be amicable, and Bedell Smith thinks that must have at least offered “some consolation” for Elizabeth.

“With divorces today, one can only hope for civilized arrangements and an absence of acrimony and publicized court battles — both of which may have been averted with the Phillips and Snowden marriages,” said Bedell Smith.

“In both cases, the negotiations were complete, and the Queen fully informed, before the announcements were made to the public.”

Royally quotable

"With each story that is told, the taboo around domestic abuse weakens and the silence that surrounds it is broken, so other sufferers can know that there is hope for them and they are not alone."

— Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall,

speaks at a reception

marking the 15th anniversary of a domestic abuse charity.

Home renovations, palace-style

During a home renovation, saving the wallpaper isn’t usually a priority.

But when the home is Buckingham Palace, and the wallpaper is an early 19th- century Chinese version that came from King George VI’s Brighton Pavilion, that’s exactly what will happen.

video posted on YouTube

and Twitter by the Royal Family takes viewers into the east wing of the palace, revealing some of the painstaking work being done to conserve the wallpaper that will return to the Yellow Drawing Room.

Royal reads

1. William and Kate made a

rare joint visit

with Charles and Camilla to a military rehabilitation centre. [ITV]

2. Prince Andrew turned 60 on Wednesday

with little fanfare

and under the shadow of his friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. [Daily Mail]

3. Princess Anne has

her own fashion playbook

, and attracted lots of attention when she turned up at London Fashion Week. [The Guardian]

Cheers!

I’m always happy to hear from you. Send your ideas, comments, feedback and notes to

[email protected]

. Problems with the newsletter? Please let me know about any typos, errors or glitches.

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gyrlversion · 5 years

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Inside the Texas border facility accused of child neglect

The little face pressed against the glass window of the concrete cell belonged a toddler peering out at a group of journalists allowed access into a remote compound outside El Paso, Texas.

Interested in Immigration?

Add Immigration as an interest to stay up to date on the latest Immigration news, video, and analysis from ABC News.

It’s one of two facilities now the target of a restraining order filed early Thursday by a group of lawyers alleging the conditions inside are so unsafe and unsanitary that they have declared it a “public health emergency.”

The lawyers want Customs and Border Protection to be held in contempt for violating a court mandate that migrant children be properly cared for. One pediatrician described the conditions for migrant kids, exposed to meager food, inadequate sleeping arrangements, heinous overcrowding and rough treatment by agents as “torture.”

Mario Tama/Getty Images

A person walks behind the fence at the Border Patrol station where lawyers reported that detained migrant children had been held unbathed and hungry on June 26, 2019 in Clint, Texas.

CBP has denied most of the allegations, insisting that while conditions are not ideal because of overcrowding, the children are given enough food and access to hygiene products.

In a statement, the agency said despite limited resources it works “to provide the best care possible for those in their custody, especially children” and “All allegations of civil rights abuses or mistreatment in CBP detention are taken seriously.”

On Wednesday afternoon, several days after the reports of mistreatment, U.S. Customs and Border Protection agreed to open the doors to news media at the station near Clint, Texas, allowing reporters to walk through a building that has process thousands of unaccompanied migrant children, and which one official frequently likened to a local police station.

Indeed, the U.S. Border Patrol’s Clint Station is set up as a jail, with a central pod and nine cells radiating outward. It was designed to hold adult migrants, but the Border Patrol says it keeps the cell doors exiting to the central pod unlocked. The children are sequestered by age and sex. CBP said the children can range from months old to just under 17.

Paul Ratje/AFP/Getty Images, FILE

Immigrants held in a temporary facility set up to hold them at the El Paso Border Patrol Station, June 21, 2019.

During the tour, ABC News saw children who appeared to be toddlers, mingling with older female children in a crowded cell. The children appeared to be issued a thin foam mattress and thin cotton blanket.

The CBP prohibited ABC News and other news organizations from filming inside or speaking with any of the children because of what the agency said were legal and privacy concerns.

For the girl inmates, those cramped cells are where they take their meals, sleep and use the bathroom. Televisions outside the cells play movies during the day. Some of the children seen by ABC News sat on cots, staring at the walls. One girl left a bank of phones sobbing, for reasons that were not clear.

A corridor leading out from the central pod area led to a converted sally port to accommodate the male children, who kicked a deflated soccer ball around their concrete pad cordoned off by chicken wire. The gate of the boys’ area was open when ABC News was there.

The facility was completed in 2013 and designed for booking and processing migrants. It’s built to accommodate about 106 people. On Wednesday evening, at the time of a media tour, it held 117 children, but its population had swollen to an untenable 700 earlier this year, said Matthew Harris, the station’s lead patrol agent.

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters

The U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Border Patrol station facilities in Clint, Texas, June 25, 2019.

A child will typically spend six to 10 days at the Clint Station before being transferred out, Harris said. That is well past the legal minimum of 72 hours. While are there exceptions for extraordinary circumstances, agents at Clint have been dealing with overflows for the past year.

The exploding population at Clint prompted the agency to increase the number of portable showers in recent weeks from two to eight. Between meals, Harris said the children are allowed to play in a gravel yard flanked by portable toilets. The area is about the size of an average sized swimming pool. There is a drooping basketball hoop.

The Clint facility had about 300 children when doctors and lawyers came to inspect the conditions and found that older children were often caring for younger children. The lawyers were prohibited from visiting the living quarters but interviewed some of the children describing them as filthy and hungry.

Facility rules have the children eat breakfast of a single packet of oatmeal at 7 a.m. every day. Lunch is a cup of Ramen noodles and a burrito served for dinner, and CBP says each meal is offered with pudding, juice and one cereal bar. Twice a day, the kids are offered more pudding, juice and a cereal bar. Fruits and vegetables are not provided.

Harris said his agents — tasked officially with patrolling U.S. borders between points of entry — spend more than half their time caring for kids and for the past year.

“None of us have any training in this type of thing,” Harris told ABC News.

Jose Luis Gonzalez/Reuters

The U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Border Patrol station facilities in Clint, Texas, June 25, 2019.

But agents, many of them mothers and fathers, draw on experiences with their own families, he said. He claimed some agents have developed close relationships with the kids under their care, doing what they can to make them feel safe in a foreign place.

“We have to be constantly providing things that we typically wouldn’t for a normal adult in our custody,” he said.

Using resources normally spent on guarding the nation’s borders, he said officers have been tasked with changing diapers, helping the little ones brush their teeth and rounding up the kids for a regimented schedule of meals.

Some 14,000 kids currently reside in U.S. custody who are deemed “unaccompanied” because they aren’t traveling with their parents — about 1,000 of them currently waiting at Border Patrol stations waiting to be transferred to more permanent shelters scattered across the U.S. These are mostly older children and teens who cross the border alone, but sometimes younger children too will travel to the U.S. with extended relatives with the hopes of joining parents already living in the U.S.

Fleeing violence and economically destitute conditions, the record-setting numbers of arriving families have pushed the limits of Border Patrol resources as authorities attempt to arrest everyone who crosses illegally between ports of entry.

The result is what both U.S. border officials and immigrant advocates call a humanitarian crisis.

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sarahburness · 7 years

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50 People Write a Tiny Thank You Letter to Their Younger Self

I don’t know about you, but I haven’t always held my younger self in high regard.

There was a time when I looked back at the person I once was and judged her for being needy, insecure, weak, inadequate, and fundamentally flawed. I focused on everything I thought I did wrong—all the mistakes I made and the people I hurt—and failed to recognize and celebrate everything I did right.

And I tried to completely eradicate that broken creature through the rigorous pursuit of personal growth, hoping I could prove to myself, and to others, that I was someone worthy of love.

Even when I began focusing on self-love and self-acceptance, I still believed I needed to be better than my shameful former self to deserve it.

Then one day I realized my younger self deserved a lot more credit than I was giving her.

She wasn’t needy because she clung to people; she was just looking for the approval she hadn’t received growing up and didn’t yet recognize her unhealthy patterns.

She wasn’t weak for struggling with depression and bulimia; she was strong for finding ways to cope—unhealthy though they may have been—when it would have been easier to give up.

And she wasn’t inadequate or fundamentally flawed; she was human, and despite her shortcomings, she always did the best she could, based on where she’d been and what she knew at the time.

We’ve all always done the best we could.

We’ve all been hurt, lost, confused, and scared, and we’ve found the strength to go on in spite of it.

We’ve all tried to learn from our mistakes so we can be kinder, better people.

And we’ve all done a lot of good, for ourselves and others, whether we realize it or not.

We may have had lessons to learn, but that’s the thing about this crazy, messy journey called life: We’ll always have room for growth. At any time we look back we’ll recognize things we know now but didn’t know then. And that’s something to celebrate, because it means we’ve allowed ourselves to evolve when it would have been easier to stay stuck and stagnant.

Since I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I appreciate about my younger self, I decided to include this as one of the prompts in my newly released gratitude journal.

I shared this on Facebook this past weekend and almost 500 people responded:

Dear younger self,

Thank you for…

What struck me most about the responses was how universal most of them are. Odds are, you could say a lot of these things to your younger self. And if not, your future self very well may say these things to the person you are today.

So, whether you’re looking for a reminder that younger-you was pretty amazing or seeking a little motivation to be someone future-you will appreciate, read on…

Dear Younger Self, Thank You For…

Self-Care

‪1. Ana Henke‪: Taking care of yourself physically and spiritually, and for trying things that were scary but that made you a stronger and wiser person.

2. Abi Franklyn: Not smoking, doing drugs, or breaking the law. Oh, and for looking both ways before crossing the road, every time.

‪3. Lisa Margaret‪: Working out, stretching, and lifting weights. My middle age body is much better for it.

4. Sallie LeBlanc: Staying out of the sun!

5. Claire Freer: Looking after your skin.

Strength

6. Peggy Willis: Not giving up. For trudging forward even in fear. For getting back up and back on the path when you did fall down. For putting your hand out to others even when you didn’t have anything else to offer.

7. Katie Towers: Pushing through the depression while going to school, working, and being a single mom, with the help your awesome family.

8. Sophie Harris: Sticking it out, even when you really didn’t want to or feel you could!

9. Panos Alexiu: Not succumbing to hate and abuse. For keeping the faith that love and freedom are stronger.

10. Clare Brown: Finding the strength to keep your chin up even when it felt like the simple act of breathing was more then you could manage.

11. Julie Hagigeorges: Not crumbling in the face of devastating illness. Because now, life is good.

12. Catherine Nowlin: Surviving long enough to get sober and sane.

13. Kristabel Hilton: Hanging in there and not killing yourself cause things got better and life is worth living. It would have been a crime not to bring my awesome son and daughter into the world.

14. Jc Ervin: Being stronger than you think. I know you’re scared, hurt, and confused right now. But you’ll make it through a strong and beautiful person. I love you.

15. Tanya Liversidge: Getting through to the other side. It’s not easy but you do find a magnificent dreamer who works hard and is there for you. Remember to be there for him too.

Experiences and Mistakes

‪16. Patrick Jaberg‪: The experiences, no matter if good or bad ones. Both are valuable to me today because I grew in character from them.

17. Debbie Chamberlain: Being adventurous.

18. Ralph Paul Klar: Being stupid and naïve, for I wouldn’t have learned and grown strong had I not been.

19. Jennifer Brown: Surviving all the bad times and always picking yourself back up and trying again. Thank you for always being resilient and learning from your mistakes.

‪20. Karen Sedor:‪ Making those mistakes early—you know, when bones heal faster and hangovers only last a few hours.

21. Emily Carroll Hartley: Having as much crazy fun as you could before you settled down to have a family. And thank you for that little bit of crazy fun that made you who you are today.

22. Alana Taylor: Making so many horrible decisions that led me to the greatest happiness of my life today. I would not be here if I had made any other decisions in the past.

23. Joseph Wooldridge: Pushing the envelope on having fun but staying self-aware and knowing when to say when.

Taking Chances

24. EllenandDan Feeney: Taking healthy risks and having the values I still hold dear today.

25. Caroline Adair Freeman: Taking the trips you thought you couldn’t afford; sticking with school even though it took forever to find the love of learning; not quitting the Peace Corps after being medically evacuated; going on a second date with that tall guy who wore the ugly earrings.

26. Patricia O’Keefe: Not always playing by the rules. Some of the best experiences I’ve had were the result of bending the rules a bit.

27. Shelly Nagata: Rocking the boat. Change and progress don’t happen without it.

28. Sherri Campbell Uecke: Defying convention and being brave enough to take risks. Those risks have paid off in so many ways.

Love

29. Jason Hoy: Hooking up with the girl at the bus stop in college. You’re going to spend at least twenty-two years together and have three kids that will turn out all right.

30. Maria Ribaulo: Spending time with Dad. I miss him terribly but I have a lot of wonderful memories.

31. Katherine Pike: Having the courage to forgive and love big even though you’re hurting.

32. Susan Obieglo:‪ Having four children. The work paid off; they are all wonderful adults.

33. Rachel Kaufman Ginsburg: Finding great people in your life through school, work, community who have stuck with you and can make you laugh even when you feel like crying.

34. Janice Peters: Never giving up on others or yourself, always finding humor in the worst possible situations, remaining curious and willing to take some risks, and trying if not always doing the right thing.

Planning Ahead

35. Chris Ramsbottom Pampling: Starting that savings plan when you were nineteen, a student, and living on a grant. Forty years later that savings plan has paid for me to create my holistic therapy center and help more people than I could ever have known.

36. Cindy Ingersoll: Being smart enough to stop drinking and partying, finish a Masters degree, and commit yourself to raising beautiful children. Oh, and the savings toward retirement. Thank you!

37. Erica OBrien Bush: Spending the first half of your twenties in school and the second half building a career and a business. Sacrificing time and freedom then so that some relative freedom and wiggle room can be enjoyed now, and into the future. You will reap what you sow. The only time you’ll find success before hard work is in the dictionary.

38. Darci Davenport: Going to college even though everyone tried to talk you out of it.

39. Peter Grevstad: Dropping out of business school to study English, and eventually start a post-secondary teaching career.

40. Rebecca Jones: Getting an education, saving up, and knowing a good guy when you see him. Thanks also for all the things you didn’t do, and all the people you didn’t hang around. High standards paid off nicely.

Being True to Yourself

41. Megan Gentry: Always remaining true to yourself. Standing up for the underdogs of the world. And being firm in your morals and principles.

42. Mike Taylor: Always maintaining your integrity.

43. Donna Noelte: Trying to view life from a different perspective, rather than taking the misconceptions and beliefs that you were taught, and choosing your own way to view things!

44. Rebekah Breun: Becoming better, and not settling for being the person you were raised as. You were never meant to be judgmental or hateful. You did so well figuring out who you are supposed to be instead of who you’ve always been told to me. And thank you for loving yourself when everyone around you told you that you have to be better than you really are.

45. Jeni McKenna: Never giving up on figuring out who you really are and what you really want so you could live an authentic life during the second act.

46. Sherri Dave Phillips: Not following the crowd, being vulnerable, and going through all the pain that made you fierce!

47. Tina Byrd: Being true to yourself. No matter if it meant losing people you cared about. And believing in yourself and your beliefs.

48. Debbie Moore: Subconsciously realizing kids were not what you wanted and not bowing to parental/societal pressure.

49. Maii Chris Bockting: Never listening to what others expected of you.

50. Brooke Larrabee: Being exactly who you needed to be at every moment prior to this.

Dear younger self,

Thank you for…

How would you finish that letter?

You can read more about Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal (which includes 15 coloring pages) on Amazon here. If you already have a copy, I’d very much appreciate a short review!

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About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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The post 50 People Write a Tiny Thank You Letter to Their Younger Self appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/50-people-write-tiny-thank-letter-younger-self/

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