#borderlinemother

[sylvanaknaap]

Growing up with a borderline mother - Walking on egg-shells

#borderline #borderlinemother

[ericayserrano-blog]

Then & now. : : : I’m counting down the days (18 to be exact) before Nasyah’s first bEARTHday. We are on the cusp of leaving behind infancy, early postpartum, being a “new” parent, and saying “I just had a baby.” I wait eagerly but patiently for the 22nd as I know it will be an odd mix of emotions. As we celebrate life, I also still grieve the loss of my home birth and sit with some sorrow. : : : : : : : : : #11monthsold #11monthbaby #girlmom #homebirthcesarean #momsofinstagram #parentingwithmentalillness #mompreneur #hbc #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinemother #momswithmentalillness #lasvegasmoms #lasvegaskids (at Spring Valley, Nevada) https://www.instagram.com/p/BySzI4bnvIP/?igshid=1atk61isv1ahy

#11monthsold #11monthbaby #girlmom #homebirthcesarean #momsofinstagram #parentingwithmentalillness #mompreneur #hbc #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinemother #momswithmentalillness #lasvegasmoms #lasvegaskids

[mymomthemomster]

My mother is going back into partial again. I am hesitant though. She can be somewhat candid with her therapist, but not entirely honest and forthcoming about her behavior. In fact, she’s on the phone with her therapist right now, rescheduling and laughing like a giddy school girl explaining to him she cannot make her appointment today because she’s sick. It’s a lie. She’s just sitting on the couch popping pain pills. Two minutes ago she was blowing up my dad’s phone while he’s at work and yelling for no good reason. Snap of the fingers is all it takes. She can control herself when speaking to others, but when it comes to us she can unleash fury without a second thought.

Two nights ago she rammed a vacuum into my foot and shoved my dad into a cabinet after trying to get him to yell back at her. I got angry. It’s hard not to. Physical abuse is something I simply do not tolerate from anyone. She threatened to hit me and I walked up to her and told her, “Hit me and see what happens.” Wasn’t the best thing to do, I know, but I was literally shaking. Memories of my childhood surged before my eyes. Broken glass, screaming, doors slamming, my mother forcing me to pack my bags because we were going to grandma’s and shoving her middle finger up in the air at my dad while screaming, “Fuck you!” across the front yard.

I asked her what it meant in the car. She told me to be quiet. I was 5.

She backed down, but later told my dad she was packing up and leaving because my dad and “his daughter” are assholes. She didn’t. She never does.

Her psychiatrist is urging her to start DBT. She said she was starting that months ago. Guess that was another lie.

#borderline personality disorder #borderlinemother #bpd