#blah blah blah blogging at its finest

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I wanted to say something about the use of the word cult bc I find it very interesting. I think some of the behavior in this fandom by some people is very much like it is in a cult. I don’t wanna say that Larry is a cult through and through but there’s a pattern in some of their behavior that makes Larry a cult in that moment. If you start love bombing a new person that just turned into a larrie and you spam them with welcome messages and how lovely they are for joining the Larry fandom but then when that person starts questioning stuff and maybe doesn’t agree with everything you start to offend them or you tell them they never were a real larrie in the first place and blah blah. That’s cult behavior at its finest. And that’s what I have seen a lot on Twitter yesterday when a certain Larry account with a few thousand followers (on tik tok) made clear they just unlarried bc of certain events that took place. People should be able to join and to leave a fandom without receiving any hate. People should be able to vocalize their opinions without being anxious and nobody ever should be emotionally dependent on the insanity that is Larry (I’m saying this as a larrie myself btw).

That’s why I like your blog. Bc you consider many scenarios to be reality and you don’t refuse to think about other possibilities apart from “Larry are together since 2010”. I sometimes feel like some larries depend on the amount of people that are in this fandom and share their belief. And with every person that decides to leave, the fandom shrinks and to them it makes Larry less real. Bc if many many people believe in the same thing it makes it feel like more valid and more likely that it’s actually true (even though that’s not the case at all, even if the whole world would believe in Larry). But that’s the illusion and is causes so much toxicity and hate in this fandom. Not everything is black and white, it’s okay so have questions, it’s okay to only believe in like 5% of what larries believe in and it’s okay to leave and join whenever you want to. You can make it vocal if you want to. That’s fine. As long as it stays respectful. I don’t get why former larries feel the need to hate on larries after they turned into antis. That’s a little hypocritical but anyway that another subject.

Thanks, nonnie. I’m a little leery of the word cult just in general because I feel like people are very selective about why they apply it to. But that said, I just wish fandom was more… chill. Beyond wanting to see the other side, I don’t understand the obsession Antis have with Larries and vice versa. Honestly, I think it’s especially uncomfortable when people seem to unlarrie because they found out new information. The person who unlarried because of the mold was funny. Someone being visibly upset and hinting at some kind of private interaction is a lot more unnerving. But the way some people are acting on Twitter is completely uncalled for. I haven’t been keeping up with it very closely, but I feel sympathy for the person. I don’t really have anything to say about the situation apart from this.

[kimodraw]

Posting all of my doctor who doodles in one big stupid pile and letting you rummage through it

#doctor who #doctor who fanart #dw #doctor/master #the thirteenth floor #tenth doctor #river song #river and jack never meeting? thats biphobia at its finest #and the writers refusing to admit the doc can have little a threesome. as a treat #anyway yes i get why river cant meet 13 closed tomelines blah blah. let me have my gay fun #if 13s not gonna kiss anyone her whole run i can give her her wife back #this blog is so unrefined. you get doodles dump now #enjoy the jokes

[theasstour]

i think you should really focus on writing bc *you* want to and not just bc of how many interactions ur work gets.. i see u saying all the time that if a piece doesn’t get more attention then ur not gonna write anymore and 😭😭 guilt tripping at its finest. you do realize that some ppl don’t read stuff until it’s completed? or maybe think about how it’s finals season so a lot of people can’t be spending time reading stuff for fun. your work is really really good and it’s such a shame that you cry about interactions. which i get, trust me, i do. it takes a lot of energy writing and blah blah blah bUT AGAIN . if u just did it bc it’s fun and you love it then maybe u won’t find it so exhausting writing. and maybe u do write bc u love it and it’s fun and ur just bummed out bc u don’t get a lot of interaction but c’mon bestie ppl won’t always be available to read ur work RIGHT AWAY. some might read it in like 5 months or some might read it next week. just be patient and write bc u love it and not bc ur seeking a lot of interactions

“I think” literally WHERE did I ask? Did I post a question somewhere of sorts that you’re answering? I’m sure I didn’t, and last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion. Idk why you thought you should share it. Imagine coming into my askbox after I asked people to come talk to me after they finish reading chapter 10 of my new fic and instead of sending a nice message about that story or ANY of my stories and anything nice, you send this. I can’t even take you seriously cos you typed all that out, clicked the anonymous button, and sent it. Say stuff like this with your whole chest or piss right off. Thankfully, I’m in a really fucking sour mood cos of this so I’m just gonna go ahead and answer each bit of your ask! Since you were so thoughtful as to share your thoughts regarding me “cry(ing) about interactions”, I’m just gonna go ahead and “guilt trip” you some more, ey?! Let’s go!!!

Right, “i think you should really focus on writing bc *you* want to and not just bc of how many interactions ur work gets.. i see u saying all the time that if a piece doesn’t get more attention then ur not gonna write anymore and 😭😭 guilt tripping at its finest.” “All the time”??? When in the last 24 hours did I “cry” about this?? I’ve said it one time these last 24 hours, and the time before that I asked people SEVEN chapters ago to please interact with the new chapters. Please send me a few links as evidence, thanks! If you can’t find anything, then you’re just trying to fit this into your own stupid narrative to make me into some sort of writer villain I- aifjeiogjoi You obviously don’t know that I graduated from university last year with a BA in Creative Writing and English Literature, so posting my writing onto here isn’t for any other reason than how fun I think it is when my readers and I interact, when we talk and just have fun together. I have COUNTLESS of stories stored on my laptop that are only for me, only cos I love writing so much. The people that do take the time out of their day to subscribe to my Patreon, rb, add a comment, add something in the tags, send me asks, comment on wattpad, vote on wattpad make posting my writing on here worth it. I’m posting content FOR FREE, of course I just want people to do the decent thing and give something back in a rb or feedback. That’s not guilt tripping. I’m not “mak(ing) (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something”, I’m asking for something in return, something that will simply take someone an extra minute, not even that, to make my entire day. If anything, YOU’RE guilt tripping ME for saying I should write “not bc (I’m) seeking a lot of interactions” and trying to make me feel horrible by implying I shouldn’t expect feedback in any form from the people that have read the new chapter, but rather just post my stuff and get nothing in return for posting something for free online. If that’s not what you meant, then it sure sounded like it.

“you do realize that some ppl don’t read stuff until it’s completed?” I completely understand that. “or maybe think about how it’s finals season so a lot of people can’t be spending time reading stuff for fun.” I know it’s a hectic time of year. I’ve literally been at uni for the last three years. I know, any person with more than three braincells do. It’s so funny to me that you don’t think I take these things into consideration AOIJFREIOWJOI

“your work is really really good and it’s such a shame that you cry about interactions. which i get, trust me, i do. it takes a lot of energy writing and blah blah blah bUT AGAIN .” This reads like you think me saying I want people to give me feedback - to give back for giving free literature for you to read online - takes away from how good my content is. “It’s such a shame” and what? Does me saying I want feedback IMMEDIATELY make my writing less appealing to you? Less good? That’s literally so ridiculous I’m laughing. In that case, you can get off my blog, stop reading my stuff, and maybe find someone else’s stories to read. I certainly don’t want you reading mine. And OIJAFOREIGJREIOJ “which I get trust me I do” you CLEARLY don’t. The “it takes a lot of energy to write and blah blah blah” says it all. I want people to take one to five minutes out of their day after reading my stuff to just send me some feedback or reblog my stuff with a nice comment or tags. THAT’S ALL I ask for. It takes me HOURS to write something you consume in a matter of minutes. It doesn’t make sense to me why people would choose to stay silent and not give something back when they just consumed literal books online for free.

“if u just did it bc it’s fun and you love it then maybe u won’t find it so exhausting writing.” Again, can you send me a link to the place where I said writing is exhausting? I can’t recall I’ve ever said that. It’s literally an outlet for me, I need to write. So, please, do send me a link. Thanks.

“and maybe u do write bc u love it and it’s fun and ur just bummed out bc u don’t get a lot of interaction but c’mon bestie ppl won’t always be available to read ur work RIGHT AWAY.” You had me up until that “but” ahaiueigh sad. For a second I had an ounce of hope. And don’t call me “bestie”! I’m not your friend! I don’t know you! You don’t know me! And, as I think I’ve made perfectly clear throughout this whole answer, I’m aware not everyone who follows me will read my stuff and that those that want to might not have the time right away. You really don’t give me ANY credit, do you AIOJFREIOWGJRWEIOJG

“some might read it in like 5 months or some might read it next week.” I’m not telling people that haven’t read my new fic to come interact with me about the latest chapter????? I’m asking those that HAVE read it????????????? Why would I want those that are saving up so they can read it in one go or those that don’t have the time to come gush about something they haven’t read???

“just be patient and write bc u love it and not bc ur seeking a lot of interactions” I’m patient when I want to be, I’m always patient on here. I love writing. I want people who read my work to just simply reblog, send an ask, add in the tags, add a comment, vote and comment on wattpad. I won’t stop writing if I stop posting on here, I’ll still write on Patreon. I just won’t make my writing available to people like you who would rather type out this entire stupid ask and send it on anon, and the idea of not making my writing available to people that think like this seems really appealing right about now. Cheers.

#and welcome back to: why nora is one step closer to deleting her account! today !! this ^^ #answered

[its8simplejulesblog]

It’s Been 17 Days

Since I’ve written anything on here..I’m sorry. I think I just got caught up in the monotony of quarantine (and also I did a lot of tanning/ subsequent falling asleep on my porch outside) that took up a lot of my time. However, the pessimistic side of me says that no one really reads this anyway, so maybe the timing isn’t as important as I thought, and this really is just for me. No matter, I find that I can’t force my writing. I really only do it when there is something pressing on my mind and there definitely is tonight. 

(idk why the only gifs on tumblr are anime girls, but honestly I’m not that surprised) 

Quarantine has tested me a lot in terms of how I deal with my view of myself. I’m sure that’s true for everyone. When I have absolutely nothing to do I’ll sit on my bed and think about what my values are. I know that first and foremost, knowing my worth is something I value a lot. Sometimes I have to peel myself off of tik tok because even though I feel the best I ever have, it’s still impossible to not be disheartened by the appearances of some of the girls on that app. It’s so sad too because you can clearly see the affects that that kind of content has on its audiences. 

I think that something I’ve come to notice as well is that modeling was a really healthy thing in my life before the pandemic started. That seems really backwards, but I think that it boosted my spirits so much. I think it’s because I never went into it with the mindset of “I want everyone to feel like shit looking at a good picture of me,” but moreso, “I’m actually really happy with myself right now and I want to capture that feeling.” Working with Dom has been a highlight as well, because even though we’re promoting her business, it’s just fun for us. We put on Disney music and laugh and she makes me feel like I should be proud of myself. And, the beautiful thing about it is that everyone has something that makes them feel like that: whether it’s singing or dancing or acting or programming or mechanical engineering or drawing etc etc. 

Another thing I’ve noticed on tik tok: everyone..and I mean EVERYONE is obsessed with love. For obvious reasons, haha, but the level of toxicity is crazy. It’s almost like no one knows how they really should be treated and the bare minimum is a shock. The amount of tik toks that are about girls getting texts from their crush or being left on read or their body counts or makeup to impress him is exhausting. Honestly, I feel fatigued :) And it is nearly always followed by tik toks of girls crying and their makeup is running and they’re saying they hate men or they’re screaming about how their ex is a piece of shit and “look at me now.” 

I get it, I understand everything they’re saying. Getting left on read sucks, and it hurts, and you overthink it and think you did something wrong. But, at the end of the day, do you SEE yourself? You look ridiculous. One of my biggest lessons in quarantine is quite simply to let that shit go. Did I cry to my mom at 4am because I guy stopped talking to me for a day? Yes, but did I reflect on it and recognize that that was probably a waste of time (and sleep) also yes. 

In all of my blog posts the central message ends up being essentially the same, perspective. Recently I’ve chosen to see the world in as positive a light as I possibly can. It’s SO hard to do, especially in these times, but I’m holding out for good. Good attracts good. I like to think. If you sink yourself as low as you can, and believe the worst in people, then that’s what you’ll attract, and you’ll end up hurt. It happens everyone time. I know that a lot of stuff I write sounds so cringey, but it is truly stuff I have come to believe during quarantine. You almost feel lighter when you treat life like a gift instead of a curse. 

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my future. Not in an unhealthy way, because I like to be as mindful to what is in front of me as possible, but as something to get excited about. I can’t wait to (possibly) go to grad school. I can’t wait to travel and do good for others. I can’t wait to learn as much as I can about as many people as I can. I can’t wait to meet my best friend and get married and blah blah I’m just excited. I just wish more people would embrace the uncertainty of the things to come instead of back away from it (disclaimer that I recognize that this is a privilege I have as I notice that there are many factors that lend to my opportunities in this weird world we live in) 

So, when things don’t go my way in the present, I’m not going to say it’s not hard. Being an empath, I get close and attached to people really quickly and when it’s not reciprocated in the same way it really really stings. The key is not taking that to heart though. I know what I’m worth and while I always give people the benefit of the doubt, I also need to recognize that it’s just a fact that not everything will work out in my favor. And if someone is not jumping at the chance to talk to you or be with you or make you feel like you’re not worth their time then you need to recognize that that’s not a reflection of your value. 

I always knew that :) That was nothing new. Putting it into practice is harder though, but every night I feel better. (I also say this every time) but the people you surround yourself with tend to be a reflection of how you feel about yourself and I’m happy to say that that is true for me. 

Of course, there are times when some things just make no sense and you take it out on yourself; but let me be the first to urge you not to do that. You never ever know what is going on in someone’s life or mind. We’re all innately, primally, selfish, so of course we would think that we did something to provoke someone or make them hate us. Chances are though, it doesn’t involve you. The more I grow up the more selective I am in the battles I choose. Most of the times, playing games with people is not the move. If you’re upset, please god be upfront about it. You don’t want to spend your time on someone or something that doesn’t make you better. 

The second, and more important part of that though: leave it alone. This is something I struggle with. If I’m upset with someone I’m usually not “mean,” I’ll just make a lot of passive aggressive jokes about them. Again, not my finest moments. It’s something I’m working on leaving in the past. There’s no use bringing someone else down. I’m not a hypocrite. 

Anyway, in conclusion, I know that quarantine can be pretty lonely. I think I’m more lonely now than I was before solely because people are starting to go out and hang out with friends now (which is something that my family has definitely been more cautious about). At the end of it all though, I think I made the best friend I’ve ever had during quarantine (it’s myself, if that wasn’t clear) 

It’s so difficult to sit with yourself and be content. I’m definitely not there, but I’m a lot closer than I was. And even though I most definitely fo not talk to my friends 24/7, I know they’re still there. That trust is something I really value. And, while I appreciate it, I’m excited to carry my own weight a little bit better when this is all over. 

You’re all Valuable (Yes I mean ALL of you) 

-Julia 

[chasing-rabbits]

Being vegan is amazing but exhausting bc you read the same fucking carnist BS every day and ... ugh. Pls carnists I'm literally begging u to read a book.

I know right. I think it is most infuriating when they act like they know me better than I do and trained nutritionists. It’s stupid I hate when they are like but GrAsS FeD WiLL mAkE U BeTTeR Cos  I literally live on old farmland next door to me is a farm outside my window I’d see the cows/lambs. I had in the past even had meat from a local farm shop so when they say grass fed organic this blah blah that I’m like no ...I cannot physically consume meat regardless of how the cow was treated and fed on only the finest grass.  Also I mean honestly I know most people won’t listen to ethical arguments not when they are like that. So im ngl as much as I worry I come across as a health focused plant based dieter to people who maybe havent seen other posts of mine.  I am a vegan ethically and morally. It just so happens my body also does not tolerate meat and dairy. So it is also the healthier option plus life saving when it comes to dairy which would be no bueno. But the point is I like using it because it shuts them down. They are like but veganism is unhealthy fiber bad plants bad grains bad...meat and dairy good they generalise everything then like that person told me when i replied back oh u cant generalise because of your illnesses...which i wasnt..i used my illnesses as an example of how the opposite of what they said is true...all meat is good all vegan diets bad well no for me meat and dairy was v. bad vegan is good. Its like ugh seriously. But I’ve not had issues with idiot carnists in awhile and i manage to keep my feed pretty well managed so I dont tend to see them on the dash even from vegan blogs I follow then again as I said I’ve not been super active on this blog. And I’ve not been like...I’ve been generally not getting into discourse to much on veganism on twitter atm..its stressful and tiring and sometimes honestly it is not worth wasting our breath on trolls or people who are at this moment in time unreceptive to our words and/or evidence.  I for my own mental health try to avoid discourse now but I couldn’t resist this person today... Idiot carnists like them have the worst mentality. Like its not all carnists thats for sure but oh boy there are some right idiots out there. My favourite idiots being those who promote the carnivore diet - the whole mostly eating beef and like livers and other organs from cows. They are possibly the stupidest kind of carnists I’ve encountered.

[attract-mode-collective]

Review: Smokin' on the Moon

You know what time it is; time for another overdue blog entry. As before, got a million, billion… make that a trillion things going on. Hence why the recaps of stuff tweeted are on hold for now. It’ll be back, eventually, tho till then you can… ya know… just follow along in realtime.

It’s also time for... the New York City Asian Film Festival! Said it before, I’ll say it again: the list of reasons for sticking around NYC keeps shrinking & shrinking, yet the Big Apple remains a cinephile’s paradise, with the NYAFF as the crown jewel. Period.

My NYAFF reports have been a staple of my homepage, though once again, I’ve got another video game related flick to discuss around these parts. Kinda. Sorta. And that’s Smokin' on the Moon. I'll just say this right now: nothing in front of the camera has anything to do with games. But behind the camera, it's a different story.

Smokin' on the Moon tells the tale of two dudes, Sota and Rakuto, two good for nothings in the middle of Tokyo. The former sells weed, whereas the latter, the roommate, just smokes it. Also coworker(s); the pair both work at FUS (which stands for “Fuck U Sunshine”), the local watering hole frequented by a zany assortment of characters who engage in lifestyles choices that’ll force anyone into the outer fringes of routine Japanese society. The early part of the movie goes to great lengths to paint its people, places, and things with kooky colors, at times trying a bit too hard, yet one can't help but respect the earnest desire to dazzle, which culminates in both central characters' mixed media dream sequences (which gave off serious Liquid Television vibes... albeit circa season 3).

But there's a key difference between the dynamic duo; Rakuto can afford to act dumb cuz he's young, whereas Sota is in his mid 30s, hence why he starts to wonder if he should start acting like an adult (especially since his parents still send money). The record scratch for these 24 hour party people takes place during a visit with the dude who hooks them up with weed, a wannabe gangsta; when he himself is visited by the genuine articles. From there, the harsh reality of any drug-fueled existence are illustrated via scenarios that try their best to echo both Trainspotting and Requiem For A Dream. The distinct lack of originality is one thing, but the lack of bite is especially harmful, so the whole thing falls flat.

Anyhow, when the yakuza thugs shows up once more, Rakuto decides to deal with the devil, but Sota realizes that maybe he should head back home to live with his parents. They run an okonomiyaki in Osaka, so while Sota's making savory Japanese treats for mom and pop's regulars, Rakuto finds himself becoming sucked deeper and deeper into the world of adult crimes. I should maybe also mention that a primary reason behind Rakuto’s interest in making some serious change is cuz there's a girl you see, and there's also a child... yet there's another, completely random (while at the same time, utterly predictable) emotional gut punch introduced in the final act. To drive home the message of how precious our time with loved ones is and blah, blah, blah.

Ultimately, Smokin’ on the Moon is another run of the mill Japanese flick that hits the ground running with over the top wackiness that quickly peters out to become overly sentimental, ultimately hitting the viewer on the head with heavy-handed important lessons in life. So here’s the deal: the director of the movie… it’s Kanata Wolf, better known as Tanaka Yuichiro…. he wrote the script for Persona 3 and also co-wrote both Persona 4’s and Persona 5’s. All games with super engaging stories, charming personalities, and nuanced character development. All of which that Smokin’ on the Moon are lacking in. I knew going in that the filmmaker was involved in games, but when I found out which games afterwards… I was in total shock.

Two things. First was the reminder that... yes, P3/P4/P5 broke new ground when it came to storytelling in video games... again video games. Sometimes those same tricks don't very work in other mediums. In this case, and others (Metal Gear Solid immediately comes to mind), I’m talking about cinematic conventions that are inherently foreign for the interactive medium and were therefore a breath of fresh air. So when they’re brought back to their point of origin... now, if there was some kind of video game-like spin, that would have been interesting at the very least. The other is how the plot, storylines, and characters have many hours to properly twist and turn in a video games, whereas the overly long two hour run time for Smokin' on the Moon still wasn't enough. Apparently it was based on a book, which might explain some of the issues right off the back as well?

So in the end, it's difficult to recommend Smokin' on the Moon. The absolute best that can be said just "Hey, it's a movie by the guy who wrote all the Persona games!" and leaving it at that. Yet for those still interested, the film screens on Tuesday July 10, with Kanata Wolf in attendance (grab your ticket here). As for everyone else... the good news is that, as usual, the NYAFF is jam-packed with legit mind-blowingly awesome flicks! Including one that's about a movie that's about zombies (aka One Cut of the Dead)... there’s also another about a ghost that haunts a karoke machine who forces her hapless victims to sing songs for her (aka Premika)... and also quite simply one of the the finest angry high school girl going on a murderous rampage flick that you may ever witness (aka Liverleaf). All HIGHLY recommended!

And which you can read more about, over at fort90.com in the days to come.

[musubiki]

OHHHH JUST FOUND THIS BLOG AND THE LOVE FOR N IS DYING SO SO SO holy shit dude can you tell us more about the boy??? The liberation boy??? But like shipping??? Facts about his relationship with White?? Like like does White bride his hair?? Does N do nerdy romantic things??? FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOUR ART IF FUCKING GREAT HOLY SHIT I DIE. SO LIKE, LOVE FROM SPAIN!!! YOU ARE GREAT KEEP UP THE WORK ILY!!!!! THANKS FOR PROVIDING SUCH GREAT CONTENT!!!

FUCK YEAH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA

➞

so hfjks like i said before i like the idea that N is a lot like adrien from mircaulous, so hes a REALLY NICE GUY HES A BIG SWEETHEART

hes kind of…dorkier…than the games show him as,.. like hes a little clumsy, kinda dense, sometimes he says embarassing shit in front of white and she gives him that fa ce

i hc that trainers can ‘talk’ to their pokemon (similar to the i am groot thing in marvel, where they say like. their name or some illigetamit sound and after the trainer has them for a while, can actually understand what theyre saying) so N’s special thing is he can talk to ALL pokemon. it doesnt matter who owns it. or if its a wild pokemon. he understands them always no matter what it is (he could probably talk to arceus)

N has the power to heal pokemon. yes. without potions or pokemon center tech. this exsists in some rare individuals(like yellow in the pokespe manga) probably descends from some ancient royal family. the power is usually associated with people who live near/grew up an old forest, and is also associated with green hair (cheryl from dppt also has this power)

only white knows about this power he has, hes only shown it to her once to save her pokemon and asked her not to tell anyone about it. she never did

whoever the profecided heros of truth and ideals were meant to be, they were destined to be soulmates essentially. because they were part of the same dragon, the heroes in turn as well “complete” each other. theyre supposed to work together to fix the world when the stones were reunited, but inveitably, ended up as enemies by accident

so the first time they met in accumula they had a big fight and essentially HATED EACH OTHER LMAO.,…white thought he was a ignorant buffoon and he thought she was a hot headed bigot

nonetheless, white pretty much stuck in his head (he has no idea why. he doesnt suspect who she is) so. he seeks her out in Nacrene City because. who is she to do this to me. 

but between their previous interaction and this one, the dreamyard happened, white was actually kinda humbled by that and plus. bianca was scolding her to be nicer to people. so when she sees N again shes like ugh., okay. be nice. 

so they have another. conversation. about his image for the world about where pokemon have become perfect blah blah(hero of ideals at his finest) and he asks her if she agrees with him. we all know this scene. and shes like. ‘keep calm white’

so she takes a deep breath and answers no, she believes that pokemon are similar to people with all their flaws and attributes and should be accepted and loved the way they are without trying to make4 them perfec t.

and hes. taken aback,. because that was. a good response. facts. and this is the point where he becomes like, very intruged with her because wow he expected her to say some bigot stuff but that ws pretty good holy crap. so hes standing there with this dopey look on his face and white is

‘wow being nice kinda works’ she thinks, before blurting out “So are we gonna battle or…” and yes, they battle, she wins, and he sees, once again, that her pokemon love battling.

this is conflicting to him because ghetsis raised him with abused pokemon, so N has this false image of the world that all pokemon are unhappy with trainers. ok, i gotta talk to her more, he subconsiously thinks.

this post has a lot for white and N as well

this is the point where he thinks of her differently, more like wow we could be…..friends? 

hes really nervous in the ferriswheel. hes fidgeting. why am i nervous, he questions himself, its just white. 

hes actually kind of scared of her too

the point where white thinks differently of him is (sometime, idk when) shes in. big trouble like. idk what happens shes out exploring in the dark and rain or some stupid shit but the main point is, he ends up saving her life

and hes panicked after this. “Are you okay??” and hes frantic. hes genuinely concerned. and shes genuinely confused. 

“Why would you save me?” she asks him while he walks her back to the pokemon center. hes confused at first as to what kind of question that even was, she explains “I’m the one who’s actively trying to stop you. If you wanted to achieve your dreams and get rid of me that was the perfect oppertunity, so why would you save me? I thought you hated me??”

and hes a bit shocked by this. he never hated her, ever, he explains and after a few moments of kind of awkward and embrassing silence, he tells her that he finds her interesting/likes her opinions/ideas on things/wants to know her better/likes being around her SOME SHIT LIKE THIS AND SHES “./././///./……//” like wow. hes not. so bad. 

after nacrene city N always takes his hat off when he talks to her. at first white is confused by it but. her stoutland tells her it looks like its a sign of like respect and admiration and shes like oh. ok. she thinks its kinda cute that he does that

he usually blushes when hes talking to her

compare this to when hes talking to like. prof juniper. he has the most stone cold voice. hes made of metal. and then he talks to white and suddenly hes made of flower petals

hes actually pretty nice to bianca and cheren too, even though cheren is like constantly giving him the side eye. “Why is the king of team plasma hanging out with us” “Chill young man”

her pokemon LOVE N by the way. she hates that they love him so much. she thinks they like him more than her 

N is like. really cute by the way. like REALLY CUTE

hes spent most of his life alone, with just the company of pokemon(even after ghetsis found him, he was still pretty alone) so being around white is….nice….like she shows/does things hes never even heard of before. “Hey you dare me to stand on top of these two stacks of soda cans?” “,.um…why????” hes confused by half the shit she says

“Yo dude, [slang sentance].” “White, I understood all those words seperately.” 

N is actually a genius. hes super fricken smart he just doesnt pick up on things sometimes. especially meme-like jokes and humor that depends on context of a specific movie or something he’ll stand there like “?????” [meme of that lady with all the math symbols around her head]

white is actually really smart too. shes not a genius and she does reckless shit all the time but shes very sensible below all her adventurous and spontanious ways. she just likes to have fun climbing trees and hiking through caves. biggest tomboy. 

N has the brightest smile. he is the cutest cinamon roll. his eyes are a nice shade of teal and hes just lovely i love him very much. if you gave him a flower crown he would achieve perfection

when reshiram first manifests in the fight against N and white catches her N,..,. smiles…like…its a revelation that everything that happened in his life is perfect and shes perfect and everything was meant to be and hes struggling to focus on his goals and winning the battle because. its her. its always been her and he has. strong doubts at this point already but maybe shes right. and watching this glorious beautiful girl saving the world with the dragon of truth is like the most mesmerizing and amazing thing hes ever seen 

and actually, he probably just gave up towards the end of the battle because in his mind, hes already decided that she was right the whole time, and everythign he thought he knew was wrong. 

when N leaves, white has tears in her eyes. she never wanted him to go but he needed to leave. he wanted to see the world for himself and reevaluate what he thought was true. 

he gives her his hat before he leaves. something to remember him by, he tells her. she always keeps it with her from this point. its hooked onto her bag. 

N thinks he wasnt meant to be the hero of ideals but he was. he just feels bad about what he did. zekrom chose him for a reason. N ended up helping a lot of people and pokemon while he was out…experiencing the world…

N and white have the purest and deepest relationship out of. any of the pokemon ships i like. i love them. 

N DOES DO NERDY ROMANTIC THINGS when they actually get together. he gets her flowers and chocolates and literally anything that would ever make her smile he LOVES HER VERY MUCH

“I bought you a flower shop” 

fhjuhds probably not but iut sounds like something he would do

#whocares-idont #ask #long post #headcanons #this isnt even everything i really like them a LOT CAN YOU TELL

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here (hoping i'm not making the situation in your ask box worse, let me know if you need a break!) still in my gentle hopeful Malex feels so let's talk about tententen (Tumblr is weird about me using the numbers). Again, Ryan combines gentle music with lovely lyrics to make a song you can just drift through. The imagery of shaping paper and embracing change gets me in the Malex feels, and I love how its emphasized that it's not necessarily giving something up, but can build things too.

Nonnie, seeing you in my inbox is always a joy and I'm never too busy to answer these and especially one about soft Malex feels. So at first, I was very confused about which song you were talking about and I had to slow my excitement and stop skimming and actually focus on reading the words in front of me, lol. Then I realized pretty quickly you were talking about 101010 but I always read it as one-zero-one-zero-one-zero. I always knew why I read it that way but wanted to double check because I was curious why you went with ten-ten-ten. And fun fact! Ryan's blog mentions it gets its name from the date 10/10/10 (link to the blog post because it's actually a lovely story) but there was NO mention of what I always assumed was the reason for the name. You see, in HTML color coding, #101010 is the color code for grey which is a center feature in the song! It was a fun little journey I went on this afternoon. This song is also one of my favorites. It's so gentle and the mandolins are a particularly nice touch. It also has a lighter, brighter than some of the heaver songs (it makes me think of East that way, just full of light), and fun fact! Yesterday's song was perfect because we were having a huge rain storm, and today's song is perfect because it is bright and sunny and beautiful!

The lyrics for this song are so good! Not that we don't say this enough already, but the idea of slow changes starting to come together and new, healthier habits to form is what I want to be seeing from Malex this season. It's time to see them meet each other "in the middle" as Alex requested at the end of last season.

hold your breath and count to 28. change is slow but i feel it taking shape. folding over us like waves on origami ocean tides, we sway

So right off the bat, we get the opening (and closing) line that is the theme for this song-"change is slow but i feel it taking shape" which is such a lovely sentiment because making real, lasting change in your life is slow going! I also love the imagery of holding your breath while change folds over like waves, but there isn't the heavy imagery of drowning, it's a lighter, softer imagery of being cradled by pretty paper waves and I just think it's neat! I am really loving this idea of slow steady change for Malex because it's got to be something that will stick and that's going to take a lot of work and I am READY to see it start taking shape!

like blueprints constantly being rearranged. over microscopes we plan and strain.

the finest print in the whitest ink, before it dries, there’s no time to think. it feels like everything we’ve known is sink or swim

Now, you know any reference to microscopes and blueprints is going to make me think of Michael, but also makes me think of who Alex and Michael wanted to be when they were 17 and how much of that got rewritten and changed over time. I also love the last line, that so often in their lives there was no middle ground, no chance to just be given some space to exist, it was just about survive or don't. And now I'm hoping they are moving towards a place where it isn't always so dire. Where they can pause swimming and trust the other not to let them sink.

but grey is not a compromise - it is the bridge between two sides. i would even argue that it is the color that most represents God’s eyes.

I love this! Grey is often considered blah, or boring, but I love the idea of something being grey as being a bridge. As we just saw, when it feels like everything is either sink or swim, maybe there is a third option. A middle ground. And I love the last bit, that if we could see the eyes of God, they would hold that middle ground, that space to rest. For Malex especially, we have the age-old story of the family of (alien) hunters vs the family of the hunted (aliens). They are literally on two sides of a conflict and their love is the bridge! Ooooh, I am in my sappy Malex feelings now!

hold your breath and count to 29. connect the dots and cherish every line.

paper cuts and trails aside, make a wish and hold it tight, this time, we’ll try our very hardest not to try.

I know we have the lost decade and Michael has spent time without Alex before I want them to show that this time it was different. That they have learned in this longer time between Alex's deployments/military assignments what it's like to live in the same place and (hopefully) how to at lest keep up with each other while Alex is away, and to cherish the time they have together. (I also love that there is imagery about folding paper and origami and paper airplanes, and then this line about paper cuts which is a fun nod to those other bits in the song) The Star Wars nerd in me (and it Alex) makes me think of Yoda on that last line. "Do. Or do not. There is no try." And it makes me think of Malex when they finally get together it isn't going to be a "let's try and see if maybe we can make it work this time." it's going to be "we are in this and are going to do what we need to to make this work because this is what we want. (Also having feelings about Michael making wishes on stars and hoping on of them was his home but now I'm sad)

‘cause grey is not a compromise - it is the bridge between two sides. the shores on which our stubborn land and restless seas collide. grey is not just middle ground, it is a truce that waits to be signed. i would even argue that, from where we stand, it most represents the color of God’s eyes.

This is one of my favorite lines and so perfect for Malex! "the shores on which our stubborn land and restless seas collide" just makes me think of Alex being so stubborn and shut down, even when he doesn't always want to be, and Michael being restless and wild with his emotions, always tossing more at Alex than he can absorb and processes at once (god Alex's little blink-y face when his brain is just like *processing* like an ancient computer is so adorable). I also love the idea of them finding a middle ground for them and their relationship and their sometimes opposing trauma responses, but also, being that they are on opposite sides of a "battle" between humans and aliens, that they are the ones to sign that truce, and shut it all down. And as I mentioned before, Alex asked "would you meet me in the middle, can we both stop keeping score" so I would love to see them hash things out and find that middle space for themselves.

so, let’s fold our atlas into paper planes. change is slow, but i feel it taking shape.

And we end how we began! Change may be slow, but it's coming! And that is something I think we can hope for for Malex this season, is to see it finally starting to take shape!

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #roswell nm #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #sleeping at last #101010 #i cannot call this song 10-10-10 i can't #it will always be 1-0-1-0-1-0 to me #i love this song and it was a great choice for today!

[highbuttonsports]

HB journey - Through the eyes of the idiot behind the camera.

Whats up, CrushDouder checking in. Going to give this blogging shit a try. I always seem to find myself in disputes or deep conversations with people and giving my opinion on things, so I figure I mid as well put it down for others to read. Before I get into the nitty gritty I’m just gonna give a little insight on my journey so far with the High Button. I’ll probably ramble on but that’s what happens when ya try and write a blog after a little electric lettuce! Up, up & away!

STOP! I know what you’re thinking “Douds is an idiot”. You’re not a hundred percent wrong, I'll be the first to admit that. With that being said, hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised after reading this that you’ll think, shit, I enjoyed that! Maybe he’s got a little more going on up top than I thought….If not, I really don’t give a shit hahaha.

I’ll first start off by thanking Belly for allowing me to be apart of the High Button. Listen… If you were to tell me a year ago that this year we were going to be working Red Bull Crashed Ice as a media company, at fucking Fenway Pahk…. You kidding me? Or that we would be media credentialed at the Telus Cup in Thunder Bay or better yet the god damn Memorial Cup in our great city of Halifax, doing bench interviews during warm-up (even though we weren’t supposed to.) I would have laughed in your face, seriously. I’ve lived in Halifax my whole life and not once, did I get to sit in the press box for a game. Not even as a healthy scratch hahaha. I don’t care who you are, that is a special moment in your life. Especially an ex hockey player, who just didn’t quite make it! Almost makes you feel like a kid again.

It's funny ya know, how you end up down paths in life that had originally never been thought of. A couple years ago, I was driving a 5 tone truck slangin’ pallets all over the city. I was content enough doing that work as it paid pretty well, and it was something different everyday. After I left that job due to something I considered unfair treatment and unprofessionalism at its finest. Imagine that.. Douds thinking something was unprofessional. Do I even know what unprofessional is? Thats how bad it was, believe me.

So I’m in a rut y’know, standard shit for ol’ Douder, back on the job hunt once again. I felt like I was at that period in my life that you consider like, the cross-roads or something stupid like that. So I’m like; “What am I gonna do for the rest of my life” kinda thing. I’ll be honest with you guys, that thought never really lasted long in my head. My give-a-fuck level is pretty low, too low in some people’s mind I bet but it’s just my way of dealing with things and not sweating the small shit. Blah blah blah.

I don’t know if Belly knew I wasn’t working or maybe it was just a known thing that I wasn’t.  Maybe he was just so desperate, he dug to the bottom of the barrel. Either way, who cares. He asked me to come on the podcast as a guest. What a great move by him wha?? I consider myself to be non-filter,  so why not have me on to stir the pot a little eh. Ive made a ton of friends over the years through sports and I think that helped in a sense as well. Anywho, I end becoming the co-host on the podcast and then the camera guy…Let me pause you for a second here. Being the camera guy is not as easy as I thought, I figured oh ya, turn it on, zoom in and out and Bobs your uncle (or Aunt)….Wrong. There is a certain anticipation you have to have, a certain creative eye if you will. Don’t get me wrong you don’t need 13 years of secondary education to run a camera, just wasn’t as easy as I thought.

Like I mentioned earlier, its funny where life takes ya sometimes…

Fast forward a bit into the High Button. The first couple months were crazy, we didn’t know what we were doing. We had tons of podcast guests that summer, I mean Christ, were just over a year into this and we're up over 200 episodes. Thats some impressive shit I don’t care who you are. It honestly takes a while to really figure out what you’re good at as a company and finding what the viewers will like as well. And I think we're well on our way.

So, the fellas are in their groove and everything seems to be moving smoothly but I just wasn’t happy with my lack of knowledge in the industry, so what do I do? I apply to take a Media & Communications course at NSCC and wouldn’t ya know it…. I get in. Twenty-seven year old freshmen. Has a nice ring to er wha?! Here’s the thing, sometimes ya make decisions that may be out of your comfort zone, but how else are you going to grow as a human being?? So fuck it, I did it! I won’t get too much into the school stuff as that’s not my bread and butter. Plus, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. There I said it…

What I do want to mention though is how fun this process has been so far. And how it has helped me kind of find a sense of what I want to do with my life or maybe just created a new found confidence in myself, either way, I’m gonna roll with it. This has enabled Belanger and I to stay close to the game we both devoted our lives to. It allows us to really cherish and celebrate everything the Maritimes has to offer. It allows us to go down new, different avenues and learn new skills and branch out into new sports, new cultures that kinda shit!

Im looking forward to the path ahead with HB. The ups and downs and the successes. The spontaneous road trips to the days sitting in Belanger’s basement contemplating whether or not this is going to work. I truly enjoy it and I know for sure Belly does too. When you enjoy something enough the passion and commitment almost comes naturally. Maybe that’s just me, I don’t know. One thing I do know for sure is that if this ships sinks (which it won’t) it won’t be for lack of effort or caring. If everyone could see the amount of effort and not to mention, time put into this by not just me but especially Belly. I’m sure most of you would be a little shocked. I know I certainly was at the beginning!

Last thing I’ll touch on. Shout out to all the people who believe in us and continuously like, share, watch and god forbid converse with another human being about. (old school I know) Thank you. To the guests who’ve given us a couple hours of their time and allowed us into their world and allowed us to help them share their stories for the people to hear. Thank you.

Special shoutout to every member of the 2018-2019 Halifax Macs team for allowing us to be apart of your journey with your sons this year. Your guys’ support has been unbelievable from the beginning and has allowed us to pursue another lane of this media world! Thank you.

Keep supporting the High Button and we will continue to support you!

Cheers,

Douds

[13--owls]

*sigh*

#blah blah blah #vague blogging at its finest

[reginasrandomthoughts]

Blue Bloods, the first reaction

 Long post. Bit rant-y. Full spoilers. Hint: me and this show did not start off on a good note. 

In the name of trying out “new” things and not just running back to my old favourite crime shows, I decided to try watching Blue Bloods. ... I am rather surprised that it is going to start its 8th season. This first episode was just... well, I cannot say with a good heart that it was a disaster but holy hell, I would have thrown back this pitch within minutes. 

 So, the set-up is that there is this family of cops. The grandpa, the dad, the sons, they are all cops and their is a sister who is a district attorney. And the show follows them. It looks like it is a regular case of the week type of show, which I have no problems with. I love case of the week shows because they are not that demanding. I can stand up at any moment, leave it and return when I feel like it. The case of the first episode wasn’t a terrible one either. But the tone.

 With all the protagonists being in law enforcement I expected the show to take the police’s side in all matters, but holy shit this is heavy handed.  It starts with a graduation speech glorifying NYPD officers that amongst others includes these two lines: “ Now you are a part of the finest police force in the world. Congratulations to your families, to your friends, and to you... our new, Ney York City police officers.” The show goes out of its way to let all of us now that it is a privilege to be related to or even to know a police officer. And that is only the first four minutes. 

 Moving on! Here is the case: a little girl is abducted and a the older son, Detective Danny is assigned to her case. I’m not going to shock anyone by saying that it is a paedophile who did it. I think that it is pretty clear cut that the police are the good guys here. But it has to be hammered in by an interview given to the media where even though a girl is missing and the police just wants to focus on finding her the pesky reporters only ask questions about there being less officers (according to a blog allegation. Which the Frank (the dad) calls out right away, trying to discredit it right off the bat by calling the source “an amateur with a laptop” yeah, this show is going to take all the low blows it can to prop itself up. Apparently.), about a poll saying that the Latino community is loosing faith in the police and how budget cuts affect the department. Monsters. Ofc, the good officers try to keep on track. 

 Anyway. After some trying Detective Danny gets his guy, but how, is the most hilarious piece of garbage ever: they find a doll that is not the little girls and they decide to find the manufacturer to have a chance at finding out who sold it. So far so good. The manufacturer is Chinese so they call up China who, after being told that the NYPD is calling them just gives them the information of the three (3!!) people who has a doll like that that, which is apparently a prototype and there is only three of it in the entire Eastern United States. He doesn’t even say what kind of case it is, just his name, that he is NYPD and that he needs the info. The fuck?

 So the people to whom the dolls were sent out under the label of test marketing are: a UN delegate, who is at Shanghai at the time of the show. A doll reviewer, who is a white dude in his 20s and lives in a basement with a bunch of dolls for little girls (he is made fun of, do not worry, every low blow is taken. IDK why this was necessary though) and a toy salesman. Well, at least 2/3 makes sense. The toy seller is the bad guy, Danny catches him, dunks his head into the toilet as interrogation, he leads them to the girl but the judge tells Danny’s sis that the use of excess force invalidates the confession and they have over the weekend to find evidence to lock the guy up. So ofc they stay in the entire weekend and even leave Sunday lunch to work the case and they connect it to an old cold case. Bamm. win.

 The show is smart enough to know that it needs to talk about Danny using excess force but not smart enough to make it a dilemma. District Attorney sis puts up a fight about it, about but... 

Sis: I know you’re supposed to enforce the la and not make it up as you go. Danny: You have no idea what goes on. You only know what you think you know. Sis: The laws are there for a reason.  Grandpa: Yeah, to protect the criminals. Sis: No, to protect society from a police state. *Danny and Grandpa chuckle* Danny: Blah blah blah blah

Then they try to reason it out like the dad saying: the issue is whether enhanced interrogation is ever justified or not (such nice words for dunking someone’s head in a toilet (the show’s choice, not mine, we will talk about it in a moment)). They proceed to give examples: a terrorist planted a bomb, a loved one is at stake (so you are emotionally compromised). And they think the case is done. Sis even admits later on to her father that even she would shoot the guy.

 But. The show gives us a couple of fairly clean cut examples: an innocent little girl is in danger from a pervert. A terror attack, an emotionally compromised situation. But it is not always like that. What if Danny happened to be wrong and used excess force against the wrong person? To me this sounds a bit too much like the show saying: “police officers always know when to use excess force and how much of it. Trust them. In their position you would do the same.” If the show refuses to re-address this conversation later on I will have to say that the show condones police violence to at least some degree. 

 And the last two points: the younger son Jamie: a guy who left a promising career in law (he is a Harvard graduate) to be a street-level cop. His side story is the start of the overarching story: the Blue Templar. 

You read that right. According to the show it is a “Secret society within the New York Police Department” and Jamie was told about them by his Grandfather when he was a child but thought it was a fairy tale. *le sigh* According to the special Agents who approach him now the group is connected to stealing drug evidence, money, extortion and murder for hire and Jamie’s older bro, Joe died because he tried to investigate them and was killed for it. Now the Agents want Jamie to work with them. And the kicker? The Blue Templar give a neat looking button to their members and Danny has one of those. 

 Or at least it looks like he does. I hope that was a neat trick I did not see played and it won’t be that easy. If it is I am out of here. I will give this show like.... half a season more  to see if I am just wasting my time. I mean, there has to be a reason it got 8 seasons (so far). 

.

#blue bloods #blue bloods season 1 #blue bloods spoilers #episode reaction #i rant about stuff i watched #why do i even try