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theangrypokemaniac · 4 years

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Baby Vulpix are born with a solitary white tail, which reddens and splits as it grows.

Given the conversion to Ice we must forgive the lack of colour, but the ends sticking together is inexplicable.

Perhaps it's tangled with perspiration, as a furry fox embellished with fluffy pouffes is not best equipped to deal with a simmering climate.

When Fire, and thus possessed of an inner furnace, such outer decoration is easily borne, but losing his type means it's nothing but a burden for these endless summer days.

If he became Ice to cope, why not shed such bothersome apparel? What benefit is there in retaining a fur coat?

Perhaps the transformation is yet to reach fruition, and we are witnessing merely a stage midway, before it drops off.

The correct crown plumage is three tight little curls above a small fringe, but here we find a most dishevelled appearance.

It smacks of a want of propriety.

Why any creature should don a toupee of albino pubes shall remain a mystery. Clearly they are no longer of sound mind.

I blame the diabolical influence of those wicked polyps sprouting from his ears.

Polyps grow in the cavities of a cat's head like the toadstools of Satan.

If they aren't removed they bore into its brain!

Are you blind? What's that there then?

I thought Ninetales had nine tails.

A matted bush with seven straggling ends wafting in the breeze.

The lack of separation is less of a concern when one realises the billowing quality equates to having no solid form.

He's lost his bloody tail bones, man! That bastard sun butchered him!

Like Parasect, the parasitic colonisation is complete, with polyps responsible for Ninetales's degradation from vindictive lunatic to feeble-fannied pacifist.

Remember Normal Ninetales? The regal reincarnation of nine noble saints who, were he offended, delivered eternal curses upon the perpetrator?

And it wasn't just a temporary punishment? It wasn't even for your lifetime?

It doomed generation after generation of your descendants, lasting ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!

How does Alola Ninetales compete?

He'll douse you cold water.

No! The last thing I need is a cool down!

Well, if he's annoyed, if he's really, really, thoroughly ticked off, you'll be frozen.

And instantly thaw.

He's got that skin. Or fur even.

Meowth don't brown in sunlight. He greys. What was brown bleached to white.

Last year, when Sadism and Masochism still ran, I was up to me teef in posts praising Velma's mutant pussy, because Team Rocket can do no wrong, apparently.

A creature of alien grey, with a smug, squashed mush and Betty Spaghetti limbs, carved from the rubberiest lump of Kraken ever washed up on the shores of Siberia, was treated like a treasure, a faultless jewel we are honoured to behold.

However, as the S & M sesssion finished, I discovered that approval of Alolan Meowth is an extreme minority view.

Well yer could've fooled me!

What did we learn?

A. T.A.P. is in the majority at last!

B. Tumblr gives a really skewed idea of the wider fandom.

This hot stuff's a bitch eh?

Soon as touching the innocuous cat, it dived in his back and reorganised his spinal column, bipedal abilities serving as such a fine defence against sunburn, which is why fat-headed Persian loses it again.

I hope Game Freak did remember that our Meowth is the exception, and the breed aren't meant to walk upright.

It's very sloppy record-keeping otherwise.

Forget silly notions of black felines browned by prolonged sunbathing, what really goes down is cream darkening to grey, whilst any ruby gemstones they may possess becomes royal blue, obviously.

Persian was drawn in an identical stance to the real one to assist identification. I can't say I'd know without that visual clue.

Grey and blue? Has Persian, playing by his own rules, developed hypothermia?

He's a maverick, man! Petty laws of nature are meaningless to this cool cat!

As for his unfortunate face, it has swelled to painful proportions in the sizzling environment, like a woman's lower extremities.

It shows why a certain representative of the race lashed out by beating up Litten, besides intentions to eat or mount Popplio.

His features group together under the gravitation pull of the Ultra Wormhole secreted inside his skull, caused no doubt by baleful polyps.

Yer gotta watch 'em!

Ah, and where is the ambulance service striving to cure every Persian of this double malady?

There isn't one, 'cause they don't care.

Yeah, well he'll have the last laugh. That loaf is still a-growing, and one day will explode, unleashing said cosmic damnation upon the heartless savages, atomising all before it.

Sandshrew mate, yer getting hefty.

And then they'll be sorry!

I'll have you know I'm retaining water to survive.

Retaining pies more like.

Sandshrew can't abide damp, choosing to reside in dry areas well away from any substantial precipitation.

How exactly it crossed the sea to small series of islands surrounded by more sea is a mystery, but happen it did.

A creature of such taste should head inland, far from the shore, to a dusty landscape, the sort found on Akala Island.

What did it do?

He clambered the peaks, where much moisture awaits, snow being water, and stayed until ice colonised his person.

And got ears like an igloo.

Makes total sense for a Pokémon with an aversion to anything cold and wet to rush straight for the source.

Plus, that girth suggests piling on the fat to cope with a habitat it selected.

Oh no, that's a coat of steel. Definitely not ice. It's just bluish white and shimmering, like ice.

On an Ice Pokémon. But no ice here.

Shivering in a blizzard compelled it to develop a thick metal hide? That'll be useful when Alola goes to war and needs ammunition for the cannons.

A freezing, inflexible suit of armour not only works wonders against frostbite, but Sandshrew will sweat to death should it descend to the places it used to live.

The eyes are partly on its old face, but now overlap onto the ridge, meaning his eyeballs are bent in half.

One does expect sand and sand-related features from a Sandslash, such as Ground powers.

But a pangolin's gotta avoid the Chinese somehow, and so up he went, climbing them thar hills, whereupon his spikes, previously a natural fibre, transformed into steel stalagmites, and over that came an icy epidermis.

Trap up there forever, and blind!

Roasting conditions suffice to make mischief by melting rocks, so what befalls types weak to heat?

If Sandslash goes to sea level, his back will vaporise in the first blast of said dread inferno, leaving him vulnerable, just as the wet markets like 'em.

Worse, his upper limbs are not affixed to his body. Via the flimsiest joint, they're glued to the ice thanks to its adhesive effects.

It's as one often sees when scamps, walking to school, lick a lamppost upon a winter morn.

And soon regret.

Whence comes the thaw, his arms is gonna fall off, and then what defence can be mustered against the People's Republic?

AND, given his head is also majority cone, as it breaks, his skull will crack open and his brains tip out!

No wonder they're goin' extinct!

#Pokémon #Vulpix #Ninetales #Meowth #Persian #Sandshrew #Sandslash #Alola

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jebsplayshss · 7 years

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RULES: ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

i will never make it to 20 ppl but UHMMMMMM thank u @principal-mc for the tag urs was rly fun to read!!! so yes let’s jump into this LOL

THE LAST:

1. Drink: pineapple green tea boba 2. Phone call: a j-job interview 3. Text message: dnd group LMAO 4. Song you listened to: afterglow // teenage wrist 5. Time you cried: last week cuz i was catching up to bnha manga and i love all might

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: LMAO i’ve never dated 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: nah 9. Lost someone special: yah 10. Been depressed: Yah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: DSJFKDSJFS YEAH..........

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. yellow!!! all shades of yellow!!!! i love yellow!! 13. blue!! also all shades of blue!!!!!!! 14. green!!!! all shades!!!! it’s so fresh!!!!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yah!! 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: YAH 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh yes and it was HILARIOUS 19. Met someone who changed you: i think every1 i’ve ever met has changed me and i’m grateful for it no matter if it was good or bad tbh 20. Found out who your friends are: yes but i want it on record i love everyone i’ve ever been friends with even if in the end they sucked 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: n-no?

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of em i think!!! a couple of internet friends, but fb is reserved for irl friends LMAO 23. Do you have any pets: i have two doggos and two cats and an aquarium!!! i love all my pets qq 24. Do you want to change your name: eh 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: we went out for sushi!!! 26. What time did you wake up: around 11am sdgfdsgdfs 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing LMAO 28. Name something you can’t wait for: i’m literally excited for each new day!!! every day is full of possibilities and even tho i may spend a lot of those days sittin at home drawing ocs at least i can be excited abt it!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: mayhaps five minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i think i’m v go w/ the flow and look at things brightly so: i wouldn’t rly change things! but if i could, i think life would be easier on me if i wasn’t diagnosed w diabetes ;v; 31. What are you listening right now: your deep rest // the hotelier 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i almost said no but i DO know a thomas and that’s damn close enough 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: (i’m too pleasant i can’t think of anything i’m rly pissed abt right now haha) 34. Most visited Website: twitter i think :”o 35. Mole/s: i have a couple of moles on my face & left elbow ye ye 36. Mark/s: i have stretch marks and cat scratches hAHA.... i think a lot of the scars i have are like, cat inflicted, and the few times i’ve hurt myself either doing sculpture or cooking LMFAO.. 37. Childhood dream: UHHH i wanted to be a fashion designer!! deep down i’d still like to do that hehe 38. Hair color: black!! 39. Long or short hair: it’s getting long!! i used to do a 1920s bob cut to my hair a lot but i’ve liked growing it out ;o; it’s past my shoulders now!!! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope lol 41. What do you like about yourself: oh!!!! i used to hate myself a whole lot, but now i can say w confidence that: i like me. i like everything about me. i like that part of me that learned to like myself best. <3 42. Piercings: just ear piercings!! my mom got em done when i was a few months old ;v; 43. Blood type: i am 90% sure i’m O negative 44. Nickname: AJ!!! Jebs!!! Mando!!! 45. Relationship status: single and not caring LEL 46. Zodiac: taurus sun! cancer moon! taurus rising! 47. Pronouns: she/her, they/them! :> 48. Favorite TV Show/s: warehouse 13, dark matter, power rangers, kamen rider, sense8, friends, parks & rec, age of youth, the x files, atelier 49. Tattoos: none but i want one qq 50. Right or left hand: righty!! 51. Surgery: nopeee 52. Hair dyed in different color: i bleached my hair once in like.... 8th/9th grade.... we do not. speak of that, ever 53. Sport: i love sports but i don’t play on teams anymore haha x_x!!! i used to do basketball and karate!!! i like hiking, badminton, and bowling, too!!! i think i love hiking the most tho i don’t think it’s rly a sport LMAO 55. Vacation: i like roadtrips!!! i like traveling in general!!!!! it’s fun to explore and see the world around us and meet people and experience things!!! 56. Pair of trainers: i have reeboks & vans isos......! i like my vans best tho LMAOO they’re stylish and comfortable for walks

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i last ate ginisang ampalaya w/ mango & bagoong ;w; 58. Drinking: rn i’m chugging water LMAO 59. I’m about to: d-drawwwwwwww 61. Waiting for: sleep qq 62. Want: g-gas money 63. Get married: nahhhh 64. Career: graphic design or journalism qq 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs ;o; 66. Lips or eyes: eyes!! 67. Shorter or taller: i’m rly tall s-so i don’t have a preference either way actually ;v; 68. Older or younger: eh 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ah... i think i like arms best qq 71. Sensitive or loud: haha....... i dunno.......... i suppose someone who meshes w/ my personality well......... tho i suppose i’d like someone more extroverted ;v; 72. Hook up or relationship: i!!! dunno. i don’t think i rly mind or care HAHA 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: there is nothing wrong with a lil bit of rebellion

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nah but that sounds fun 75. Drank hard liquor: yah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i stopped wearing contacts cuz i lost them all the time ashdjfjdsfds 77. Turned someone down: yah and mostly it’s been pleasant 78. Sex in the first date: nope but i am.... unopposed...... wow i sound like a Freak zamn 79. Broken someone’s heart: GOD I HOPE NOT THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE 80. Had your heart broken: y-ya but not in the way u think ;o; 81. Been arrested: nope i’m CLEAN and absolutely did not just talk abt underage drinking officer 82. Cried when someone died: yea........... 83. Fallen for a friend: nope and thank God

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: yes!!! i am a bright and wonderful person and i’m capable of anything i put my mind to!!!!!!! 85. Miracles: yah cuz idk how i passed math 86. Love at first sight: me w/ food 87. Santa Claus: i cannot confirm nor deny his existence. santa claus is the ultimate cryptid 88. Kiss on the first date: why not lmaoooo 89. Angels: yah

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: NOOO i have too many beloved best friends 91. Eyecolor: brown HAHA....... 92. Favorite movie: i can’t pick one so here’s a top 10 list: the fifth element, amelie, moonrise kingdom, kiki’s delivery service, princess and the frog, treasure planet, suspiria, how to steal a million, practical magic, & under the tuscan sun

i’d have put more wes anderson movies but...... i truly like moonrise kingdom best.... this is what happens when ur a film hoe u can’t keep urself to one movie cuz i wanna talk abt all of them bye

TAGGING: @pixelberry-pippa @pixelberrygardens @diamondsaregold @hollyashton @maxwellbaemont @jakesmckenzies @stormholt @thedarknessoftheendlesshss @hermiethefrog @quinn-kelly @i-am-a-fandom-hoe @zigsexual @playhwu-hss @annelysesadair @quinnskelly @punexpectedly @protect-drake @joyfulchoices @elenasanchez @hssuser OHO I DID IT NICE HAVE FUN ALSO U DON’T HAVE TO BUT Y A H

#about me

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technologicalgambler · 7 years

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((Well, that whole December/January shtick went so well. Hope ya caught my sarcasm, because I’m mad at myself. The inability to complete plot threads was mostly due to end of year depression/anxiety, school being a bitch, and the fact that neither of us (Technomun who is simultaneously Grimmun, and Cathartimun) can get our shit together.

((This post is just playing catch up with all of the shit that happened out of tumblr over the course of the last two months. So a lot of stuff has happened, that’ll be under the cut.))

((Alright, let’s get this started.

-The Birthday Weekend

That went. Fairly alright, all things considered since it involved several parties that hate each other. Eridan was an ass the entire time (no big surprise here), and harassed the shit out of Vriska. Terezi was an obnoxious brat through and through, Karkat cried a lot, Vriska got drunk to avoid her feelings...so nothing new among the trolls. Well, other than the fact the Destiny Islands crew and the Radiant Garden crew got to meet up again. Eridan, an ass as usual, tormented Vriska whilst invisible until he got caught. This is why she drinks.

Dave had to be mostly tipsy through the whole thing, and practically leashed to Karkat to avoid him killing Dirk, and later got REALLY drunk...Dirk got horribly drunk on only a few drinks, and kept going between sober and smashed through the weekend. Those two still aren’t on good terms, but on...better? Dave can at least (slightly) stand being in the same room with him. Roxy’s tired. Grim got drunk...Terezi was hitting on everybody (except the trolls). Jade was one of the two people who remained totally sober (the other being Eridan), and declared the couch the Sane Zone, for anyone who was sober or could handle being drunk (translates to her, Eridan, Roxy, and Grim). Anyone who succumbed to intoxication was promptly, and literally kicked off of the couch and onto their ass. This happened to Karkat at some point. This allowed her to be on...eh, better terms with Eridan. They got to talk shit over, and now they’re not at each others throats most of the time and can agree on a few things. Not great friends, but not openly shit talking each other.

It was the last day of the weekend - Roxy and Grim’s birthday - that they actually distributed presents. Here’s the list that we made to keep shit straight because there’s so fucking much.

To Dave

Sword from Jade

MIDI fighter from Roxy

Crow from Karkat (Dave named it Fido)

A knife named The Ace from Karkat’s boss (story about that later on)

A suit from Dirk

Ice troll skull from Vriska (as in Skyrim)

“Oh my god, it’s R2-D2! I loved him in Star Trek!” (Dalek) shirt from Grim

Red and white Scalemate with shades sewn onto it from Terezi (Red with a white belly)

To Jade

CD case/shelf from Dave

RHCP album from Karkat

New bass from Vriska

Soldering kit from Dirk

Danger Days Union jacket from Roxy

Badlands/Halsey sweater from Grim

Black and green Scalemate from Terezi (Black with a green belly)

To Roxy

MCRX Black Parade jacket from Jade

Pokemon Sun from Dirk

Pokemon Moon from Eridan

Super Mystery Dungeon from Terezi (and her 3DS)

MCRX flag and album from Grim

A poster that Dave drew of one of Roxy’s favorite scenes from the Complacency of the Learned – the scene where Calmasis cruelly curses Frigglish

Pink and violet Scalemate from Terezi (pink with a violet belly)

To Dirk

Last minute gift from Jade of Genji’s sword

Entire series of the Free! sub from Roxy

Iwatobi jacket from Eridan

Orange and black Scalemate with shades sewn onto it from Terezi (orange with a black belly)

“I’m BATMAN” shirt with the words in the logo, and a nice Batman cape from Grim

To Grim

Galaxy aesthetic assault rifle from Jade

Black and pink Scalemate with white eyes from Terezi (black with a pink belly)

Authentic Atom Cats jacket from Dave

Exorcism book from Vriska

Tickets to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them from Dirk and Roxy

Harry Potter movie collection from Karkat

Glowing pink nautilus necklace from Eridan

This is why we needed a list.

Suffice to say, the birthday weekend was...eventful, hectic, and fun.

-Christmas Weekend

This time, they spent Christmas weekend at the Radiant Garden castle. Which was an adventure, since they not only had to leave Jackie behind (like they were bringing a Deathclaw to a place like that), but also had to deal with Eridan’s dogs, Pronauma and Terancor (note: they’re massive, not adults yet, and will be about the size of Polar Bear Dogs from ATLOK), and the looming threat of being thrown into the dungeon with Dragon Mom.

More drinking, more antics...Dirk had to be dragged out of his room more often than not. Nothing MAJOR happened (other than Jade embarrassingly mentioning something about her and Karkat, causing Roxy and Grim to scream), but it was certainly something.

The loot pile this time is as follows (WARNING: LONG)

To Roxy

VR set up from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

A cat plushy from Vriska

A plasma rifle from Jade

A robotic cat tail from Dave

Super Mario Maker for the 3DS from Terezi (along with Roxy’s copy of Fire Emblem: Conquest)

Pink cat cloak made of fleece from Terezi

A blue LED constellation scarf from Eridan

To Dirk

A Cintiq from Roxy

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

A Kamina body pillow from Jade

A Genji butt mousepad packaged in a condom box from Dave

Fleece Batman hooded cape (similar to the dragon cape) from Terezi

A tank top like this from Eridan

To Dave

Final Fantasy XV + Season Pass from Roxy

Bleach: the Diamond Dust Rebellion from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

A new DSLR camera from Karkat

A Princess Peach 3DS carrying case from Vriska

A new skateboard with a crow deck from Jade

A black, fleece cloak based around a crow from Terezi

To Jade

Seasons 1-3 of Sherlock from Roxy

A Fionna hat (Adventure Time) from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

A GIANT husky plushie from Karkat

Glow-in-the-dark space-themed guitar/bass picks that come with stickers from Vriska

A Tunnel Snake’s jacket from Dave

A white wolf cloak made of fleece from Terezi

A set of camo bandana collars for Becca from Eridan

To Grim

Black and gray leopard print weighted blanket from Roxy

Resident Evil VII from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Terezi

A devilishly sultry Alternian romance novel from Karkat

The Bible from Vriska

A pink beanie with cat ears attached to it from Jade

A Lucid Plasma Caster that has a slag element from Dave (picked it up from a job in Pandora)

Black cat cloak made of fleece from Terezi

This tank top from Eridan

To Terezi

Super Smash Bros for 3DS from Roxy

Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright; Ace Attorney from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

Super long red dragon plushie from Karkat

Replica of Falchion from Fire Emblem: Awakening from Jade

Red dragon shoulder puppet from Dave

A D&D starter kit from Eridan

To Eridan

A book heavily detailing battles from WWII from Roxy

A coffee mug with skull and crossbones on it from Dirk

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

An Alternian wartime romance/tragedy movie that the two would always watch back on Alternia from Karkat

Some more of that Death’s Brew coffee from Jade

A violet sea horse cloak made of fleece from Terezi

To Karkat

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

Condoms from Vriska (JOKE PRESENT)

Yurio’s leopard print hoodie from Vriska

A red sickle that looks a lot like this from Jade (custom made! <3)

A Krabby plushy from Dave

A silver fleece dragon cloak trimmed with red from Terezi

A copy of the sketch of the Signless and his group from inside of Dualscar’s journal, copied meticulously by hand by Eridan, and framed (gift from Eridan)

To Vriska

Ugly Christmas sweater from Grim

Hardcover collection of the Spider-Gwen comics from Karkat

A red, electric guitar (Charvel Desolation DS-3) from Jade

A Spider-Gwen sweater from Dave

A tiny poop emoji phone charm from Terezi

Too many people. Eridan got his girlfriend, Aradia, a new necklace he made, but he gave that to her later on to avoid Vriska’s prying eye.

-New Years

I can skip a lot of shit with this one because we wrapped that up recently. New Years was just a few people getting drunk, Jade and Dirk getting into it and resolving shit, and then setting out on a quest to find her siblings, Jake and Jane.

What’s more interesting is the month that followed, as they proceeded to search worlds she had coordinates to to see if his soul string ability reacted, via her workshop door. They nearly got killed a few times by some of the worlds’ fauna, nearly lost Dirk to some of the worlds, and Jade managed to scoop Dirk’s fake eyes out from his skull, and replace them with better prosthetics. Roxy caught them because Dirk’s medical bot, HAL, showed up to the workshop when he felt Dirk go under, and have some nerves severed. Roxy knows about the eyes now (and got a ton of new prosthetic arms, and a better anchor for them), but doesn’t know about their project.

Like I said, a lot of shit went down. This is just a summary of all we talked about when I was dealing with finals, and we were both dealing with the weird funk of the holidays, and coming of the end (of the year). Finally able to write again, so here ya go.

Let’s see if they can actually get shit moving again.))

#original #ooc #out of tumblr rps #summary of rp events #long post #technogunblade #catharticgrievance #caliginousadvocate #tipsygrimdrunk #apocalypsearcylakey

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