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#biophobia tw
djholt · 1 year
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Family Reunion | Para
Featuring: Delilah, DJ, & Tucker Holt. Mentions of their parents (Jonathan & Scarlett Holt), and Tucker’s boyfriend (Cameron LaCava) Time Frame: Thanksgiving 2022 Location: New Orleans, LA // Los Angeles, CA // Boston, MA Triggers: Mentions of homophobia, biphobia, alcohol & death/loss Notes: The Holt siblings gather (over video call) for the holiday
DJ had been spending the past couple of days leading up to Thanksgiving catching up with friends and former colleagues while in LA. A former client of hers while at her old agency had invited her down for a ‘Friendsgiving’ and after some consideration, she’d accepted. While at the extravagant home and watching some of the other guests mill about, sipping beer and cocktails in small clusters, DJ had been half-heartedly watching a football game on the giant, 80″ flat screen TV. While she was happy to have been invited over and not spend Thanksgiving alone, she as a bit tired and contemplating a round of visits and ‘hellos’ before calling it an early evening and heading back to her hotel room to sleep. Or take advantage of the hotel’s heated pool for an hour.
It was at that very moment that DJ’s cellphone buzzed her hand. For a split second, she’d hoped that there hadn’t been any sort of work-related crisis happening. Thankfully, the alert was actually showing her sister’s name, photo, and a request for a video call.
Glancing around while thinking quickly, she excused herself from the party’s main indoor area and slipped into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind her. As she lowered the toilet lid and sat down, she answered the phone in a somewhat hushed tone, finding that her sister, Delilah, already had their brother, Tucker on the video call from his respective location.
“Hey! Happy Thanksgiving, Dolly!” Delilah piped up.
“Yeah, Happy Turkey Day. I love the haircut,” Tucker added, lifting his martini glass in a toasting gesture.
“Back at you both, and thanks, Tuck,” DJ replied, gibing her siblings a friendly smile.
“How’s Boston, Tucker?” Delilah asked.
“Just peachy, sis. Very historical. Way too cold to ever live here. We just finished having dinner. Cam’s family is still a little bit stuffy for my taste. Like I was regretting not wearing some pearls, but they’re nice people.”
DJ and Delilah chuckled at Tucker’s joking over the pearls. And then DJ asked, “How’s the adoption going?”
Right away, Tucker’s eyes widened and his lips stretched into a huge smile. “Amazingly! We should have our baby girl after the new year. You’re going to be aunties soooon!”
At his singsong announcement, DJ raised a hand on camera and said, “Already there thanks to Delilah but I’m happy to be an auntie again.”
Tucker gave a harmless but dismissive flick of his wrist at his sister’s technicality and then said, “Anyway, we’re so ready for her. Cam and I have been watching a lot of kids shows to prepare and Dolly? Nesting is definitely a thing. We’re not allowed to tease Delilah anymore.”
DJ rolled her eyes, while Delilah said, “Don’t worry, the baby factory over here is closed permanently. Three is plenty of kids for me. What about you, Dolly?”
DJ’s brows shot up, “Uhh, my baby factory never opened, so...”
Delilah chuckled and said, “Okay but are you seeing anybody? Are you thinking about settling down sometime soon? Maybe starting a family?”
With a sigh and a quick pause to make sure she wasn’t being overheard, DJ lowered her voice and told them both, “You do know that those things are requirements in life, right? I don’t think anything serious is happening for me right now, and I really don’t know on the kids front. I don’t exactly work the kind of job that’s conducive for the whole conventional family life.”
“Really?” Tucker questioned, tipping the martini glass to his lips. “For some reason, I thought you might want a child or two someday. If you did, I’m sure you’d figure out a way to make it work. Have it all and whatnot.”
Shrugging her slender shoulders, DJ replied, “I’m really focused on my career. And I love what I do. I’ve worked hard and love that I’m also successful at it and that’s not something I want to compromise. Besides, isn’t it a little backwards for me to jump to any sort of family planning when I’m still single? I mean, wouldn’t the Old Man keel over or ask God to smite me if I attempted having a child out of wedlock?”
Tucker couldn’t suppress an amused snort while Delilah’s face became immediately void of any amusement. With a gentle reproach, the eldest of the Holt siblings said, “Dolly...”
“What? Come on, Delilah. When has he ever approved of anything about me--who I am, what I do, any of that? I’m sure he’d have a conniption if he saw how short my hair is. And what if I were to pursue a serious relationship with another woman? Do you think it’d matter to him whether or not I’d want to have children? My relationship and any children would be abominations to him. Delilah, I know you choose not to speak ill of the man, but you only have secondhand experience to what Tucker and I went through when it came to our sexualities and Dad’s behavior towards us. I’m not ashamed of who I am or who I might end up in a relationship with. And I’m not going to submit myself or anyone important to me to his judgments.”
Taking a deep breath, DJ reminded herself to keep her voice low but she continued on. “He claims to love me but he doesn’t show it. Blowing up my phone around the holidays or his birthday, leaving me voicemails where he’s making digs or attempted guilt trips if I don’t answer or call back right away? That’s not love. Standing firm over some biblically-charged misgivings on non-heterosexuality to fuel his phobias or beliefs that two of his kids are absolutely going to hell? That’s not love. He can make the claim that he loves us but he has a horrible way of actually showing it. The only reason I’ve catered to him on any level with returning or answering calls has been for Mama, for her memory. But after this year, I’m not doing it anymore. I’ll find a different way to honor her--a way that doesn’t include his type of conditional love.”
Delilah frowned but said nothing. Tucker proceeded to down the rest of his very full martini glass.
The silence stretched on into uncomfortable territory, so DJ said, “Listen, I have to get going. I was invited to this Friendsgiving shindig and so far I’ve either been a wallflower or hiding out in a guest bathroom talking to you two. I love you both, but let’s talk again sometime before the weekend’s up, okay?”
“Sure, sure,” Tucker replied, lifting his empty glass in mock toast to the screen.
“Yeah, that’d be nice. And Dolly, Tucker, listen. Y’all know I love you, right?” asked Delilah.
“‘Course we do,” Tucker said.
DJ’s expression softened a bit but she didn’t offer her siblings a smile as she said, “I know. I love y’all too. And as much fun as hiding out in a bathroom at someone else’s party sounds, I really should get going.”
Tucker chuckled and Delilah said, “Oh, right, right! Sorry! We’ll talk again soon. Both of you take care.”
“Always,” Tucker sassed.
“Give my hellos and such to Cam, Jackson and the kids.”
Tucker and Delilah spoke confrimations over one another before all three ended the video chat. DJ sighed, thinking about the turn the conversation had taken with her siblings, namely with Delilah. She knew that, despite her eldest sister loving and accepting her and Tucker for all of who they were, her sister was by far the least resistant of their bigoted father and always tried to mend the broken bridges between them. DJ gave up actively trying to get her sister to see sense and give up said crusade, but she also wasn’t going to listen to Delilah’s attempts at getting her to even pretend to be loving towards their father. She hadn’t seen him as an actual father for a very, very long time. Thanksgiving certainly wasn’t going to change that.
Having coached actors, musicians and at one point, a local politician through public relations and putting on a strong faces when they weren’t really in the mood or mindset to, she took her own advice, slapped on a convincing smile, and washed her hands before heading out of the bathroom the rejoin the Thanksgiving festivities--and try to put the bulk of the video call behind her.
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zorkaya-moved · 2 years
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😓
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harry-niclach · 6 years
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So in my tiered state I had a thought and I don't know if I right or wrong if anyone will take my side or of anyone will even read this.
My old Neighbor (let's call her Carol, because that was her name) had just argued with my sister because she said she was going through different pronouns to see what fit (they/them at the time) and me being more educated in the subject of gender and such than the adults in that room I stuck to my own side and tried to explain to Caro what she meant but Carol just wasn't getting it, she just would not listen, in the end my sister stormed off in a huff angry but she decided to leave instead of escalating the situation, and for that I respect her. Some time later we all went inside and we're sat in the kitchen and I was still trying to explain to Carol what nb was and what pan was and what bi was and teams and all of that stuff but she really wasn't grasping what I was saying, she kept twisting my words so they fit her point of view, I was getting mad but I don't like confrontation so I stayed calm until she made a statement that I had to walk from. Now I am not trans but I heavily support trans people and I respect them so much but for the next section there will be a suicide mention and statistics around that so ease be careful transphobia and biophobia warnings.
So Carol looked me in eyes after I had just finished exposing what bi was and them what pan was after trying to explain nb before that and she first for all said that, and I quote,
"yeah, no I understand bisexuality and that you're bi, but he thing is at some point in the future you will find someone you love and you will settle with them and either be lesbian or straight,"
now thinking back on that, it really invalidated me and it still does now but at the time I wasn't thinking about that I was more focused on what she had to say next which again I didn't respond to at the time but I was thinking about it and I regretted not responding. She said and I again quote,
"being trans is bad,"
"why do you think that?" (I am all about trying to figure out why someone thinks what they think and then diffusing anything that feels that knowledge that is wrong, misunderstandings basically.)
And then she got really heated really fast,
"the mortality rate of trans people is 41%! That means 41% of trans people are killing themselves, because they have changed their body and they hate it now but they can't change it back!"
And in the moment I didn't know what to say because I was maybe 11 or 12 but I didn't think she was right, she couldn't have been, but instead of saying anything I just stayed silent and it annoys me because she still thinks she won, when I was that she all the adults were right and I couldn't possibly correct them because in the past when I had they told me off so I just stopped doing that. But now I think about everything I should have and could have said, and I hate myself for not saying it.
I should have said,
"its not the actual trans that's bad it's the stigma around people being trans. It's people misunderstanding why these people are taking their lives, it's not because they are trans in the first place it's because people like you shun them, shout slurs, you won't accept them because they became who they wanted to be, they ultimately would have become happier because they were finally someone they could love. It's not only the stigma but it's that fact that for most, their families won't even accept them, remember your family who's supposed to love and protect you and I know there are plenty out there that do but there are plenty that don't and that and the stigma that people like you, Carol, have created because you can't accept someone for who they are and who they want to be, who they've been this whole time whether knowing or not the eventually figured it out. Stop hating on people and then blaming the victim cause I am sick and tired of it, they don't deserve it. So stop it. No one deserves it."
I hope that some of you understand what I'm trying to say. I just had to get this off my chest cause it's been driving mad for almost a year now but if you read this far thanks.
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