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writing-and-wondering · 2 years

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You’re a Wonder

Part 3

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rooster x Kazansky!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fighting, Mentions of death, Blood, Bruising, most definitely some typos

Request: Nah

Word Count: 10.1k (longest so far haha oops)

Synopsis: Training continues for the Uranium Mission, but Y/n “Wonder” Kazansky still has to face the past before truly becoming apart of the team that is being built for this so called “Miracle Mission”.

A/n: Hello! This took longer than expected but I’m just having a blast writing this, and I’m so so overwhelmed by the love !! You all are truly awesome wow thank you so much <3

You were given the day off to recover after yesterday’s accident. You had insisted you were fine but the doctor’s didn’t want to hear it. Having no other choice but to oblige, you reluctantly sat back and watched the others take to the sky.

With nothing else to do, you decided to take Maverick’s words to heart and go see your father. As you pulled up to your parents house, you sat in the driveway for a moment, hands gripping tightly to the steering wheel.

This will be the first time seeing Ice since you were told that he was sick again. Taking a deep breath, you forced yourself to get out of the car and head up the steps to the front door.

You’ve barely even raised your fist to knock on the door before Sarah is wrenching it open and pulling you to her. You stumble forward slightly, part out of shock, part out of the sheer strength that is your mother.

After your second of hesitation, you’re returning the hug just as tightly, your head falling against her shoulder. You two just hold each other for a moment, her hand gently rubbing across your back in the comforting way she always did.

Sniffing, you pull back so you can look at her, but keep your hold on her arms, “Mom, I- I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should’ve-”

But she’s shaking her head and bringing her hands up to cup the sides of your face, “No. No, I won’t have you speaking like that. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

You open your mouth to object but she just smiles at you, her hands dropping to your shoulders, “It’s okay, love. I understand.”

You feel all the words that you had rehearsed and planned to say to her fail you, leaving you with nothing to say. You can see the tears blossoming in her eyes, no doubt mirroring your own. At your silence, she pulls you into another hug, her warm embrace easing any worry you had about coming back home.

“You know I love you so much, sweetheart. So much.” Sarah tells you gently, holding you tighter. You nod, tears burning your eyes, “I love you too.”

She pulls away, saying nothing as she thumbs away the stray tear that was falling down your cheek. You breathe out a humorless laugh as you wipe your eyes with the palm of your hand.

Sarah squeezes your arm, her eyes flicking towards the hall to the left, “Dad’s in his study.” As she speaks, you can hear the pain in her voice. You look at her for a moment, taking a second to admire how strong she is.

Not being able to speak, you just nod and grip her hand tightly before making your way to the door at the end of the hall. Upon reaching it, you hesitate for a moment, your eyes drifting closed as you take a deep breath.

Shaking out your hands, you turn the handle and slowly enter the room. You’re met with nothing but light, the glass doors allowing the sunshine to flood through the room. Your gaze shifts to your dad, who is sitting in his desk chair, his back turned to you.

Letting the door click shut behind you, a smile finds its way onto your face as you walk further into the room, “There’s my favorite admiral.”

He turns to you as you speak, a wide smile on his face the second his eyes meet yours. He opens his arms to you and you bend down to hug him without a moment’s hesitation.

His hand rubs across your back in a similar way to your mothers, the comforting action making you feel small again. Breaking apart to pull up a chair, you sit in front of him with a smile, “How are you?” You ask, your hands folding into your lap.

Ice just grins and shrugs, which brings you to roll your eyes a bit. When you meet his gaze again, you find that his eyebrows are drawn together in concern. He motions to the bandages at the corner of your forehead, his expression questioning.

“Ah.” You say, reaching up to run your fingers over the fabric, “Mishap during training.” You tell him simply, trying to ease the worry you can already see growing in his eyes as he stares at you.

He turns towards his computer and quickly types, “What happened?”

Your mouth goes dry as you shift in your chair, “I flew through a jet wash... ejected too late after thinking I could save it... I couldn’t.”

He nods, a frown pulling down on his face. Ice reaches over and takes one of your hands into his, the action causing you to realize just how tightly you were griping them together.

His thumb gently rubs over the back of your hand before he moves to type, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You feel a small smile inch onto your face as you read it, your chest tightening. He back spaces and replaces the words with, “You are okay, right?”

Sighing deeply, you nod, “I’m fine, Dad. But, I didn’t come here to talk about me, you know.”

He chuckles at your response as his fingers move across the keyboard, “Excuse me for wanting to find out what’s going on with my daughter.”

Your lips draw together in a line as you nod. You can’t blame him... especially after keeping yourself away for so long. Bringing your gaze away from the screen and back to him, you feel a pang in your heart. Seeing him again is hitting you much harder than you thought it would.

He looks different... you knew he would. But there’s something about actually seeing it for yourself that leaves a knot forming in your throat as you try to keep yourself composed. Leaning forward, you place your hand on his forearm, “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

Ice waves you off but you shake your head, finding the words that you had lost when speaking to your mother, “No. No, I should’ve came the second I heard. I should’ve been here-”

Your dad raises his hand to stop you, his head shaking. After facing you with a look, he moves to type, “You were exactly where you needed to be.”

Hot tears find there way into your eyes as you open your mouth to object, but he types faster than you can speak, “I’ve never expected you to put your life on hold for me. That has never changed.”

He pauses for a moment to look at you, his thumb gently wiping away the tears you didn’t know had fallen. Ice holds the side of your face for a moment before typing, “I’m so proud of you. Of everything you’ve become. There’s no greater joy for me than to see what you do best.”

As you read, Ice turns and places his hand over your heart, “And that’s simply being you.” His whisper catches you off guard and it makes you crumple. Without another word, he pulls you into a hug, your face buried in his shoulder.

He just holds you for a moment, allowing you time to gather yourself. Ice kisses the top of your head as he pulls back, his eyes straying on you as you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand.

“There’s something on your mind, isn’t there?” He types, the question causing you to laugh dryly, “How’d you know?”

Ice coughs a little as he smiles, “I’m your Dad, I always know.” You chuckle as his finger slams against the period button, his eyebrows raising at you.

He clears the screen before typing, “Talk to me.”

You lean back in your chair as you reread the words a couple of times. Sniffing, you look at him, “Did you know I was being sent here for the mission?”

He nods.

“Did you have anything to do with it, by chance?” You ask. Despite what you had told the others, you had been asking yourself if the admiral was the real reason you were here.

Ice shakes his head as he types, “They sent me a list and I approved it. You were on it, but that had nothing to do with me. That was all you.”

“But I’m not good with a team, Dad.” You remind him.

He waves you off, his fingers moving across the keyboard quickly, “Yes, you are. You’re a natural leader.”

“I’m not, though.” You protest, at a loss for where your dad is coming from as he continues, “You are. You always have been, even before you were flying. I always saw it through how you are with your siblings.”

As you read the text on the screen a part of you has to admit he’s right. Being the oldest, you grew up with a knack for keeping the littles in check. Still, there’s doubt that crawls around inside of you.

“I just...” You pause, scratching at the back of your neck, “I don’t feel ready.”

“How come?” Ice types out, his eyes questioning as he looks at you.

You shake your head as your gaze drops to your hands, “I’m still stuck in the past. Every time I go up Comet is the first thing I think of.” You glance back up to your dad, who is staring back as he waits for you to continue, “All that goes through my head is what if what happened to him, happens to someone else?”

There’s a certain type of understanding in Ice’s eyes as he listens to you speak, his head nodding along with your words. You let out a sigh, looking towards the glass doors. Looking through them, you watch the trees blow in the wind for a second.

“I don’t know.” You start, wringing your hands together tightly, “This mission doesn’t guarantee a safe return home.” Your voice grows quieter as you turn back to Ice, “The people I could be flying it with... I care about them so much and the idea of anything happening-”

Ice quickly taps on the table, the sudden sound bringing your voice to a stop. He is typing on his keyboard before you can question him, “Those flying with you are some of the best pilots and people I’ve ever met. Seeing what they can do in the sky is always beyond impressive and the greatest pleasure.”

You can feel his eyes back on you as you read. Once you’re finished, he begins typing again, “They accept the risks, and they continue to fly because it’s their job. It’s your job. And all of you are exceptional at what you do.”

Ice points at the screen once he’s finished, which only adds to how strongly he feels about what he’s telling you. After reading it, you face him with a watery smile, not being able to find the words.

“None of you know what could happen. All you know is that you’ll be flying this mission together. As a team, as one.” Ice types, and you know that he’s speaking from experience.

You shrug and take a deep breath, “It still scares me, though.”

Ice nods his head as he writes, “It always will. I saw it first hand when it happened to Maverick, and I saw it again when it happened to you.” His hands hesitate over the keys for a second before continuing, “It broke my heart both times, but I also watched as you built yourself back up and flew again.”

Your dad only adds on to his words as you read, tears welling in your eyes, “It’s made you stronger and more experienced. Even despite the loss, you’re still you.”

“I still worry... more than I ever used to.” You tell him quietly.

“That’s not a bad thing.” He types quickly, “It’s natural. It’s human.”

You find yourself nodding as you read, your throat tight. Ice motions to you before typing, “Do you still wear his tags?”

A small smile tugs at your lips as you silently pull the chain out from under your shirt. Fanning the tags out against the palm of your hand, you turn them towards Ice. He leans forward and stares at yours and Comet’s names next to each other.

“I always wear them.” You say softly, your voice barely a whisper.

Ice’s eyes shine a little as he turns and types, “He was a good kid.”

You nod a bit, your finger tracing over his name, “He was. He really was.”

Reaching over, Ice gently squeezes your shoulder. You place your free hand on top of his as you clear your throat before speaking, “Um, when I was talking to Rooster a little big ago... He liked the idea of me still wearing them when I go up in the air because it’s... kind of as if Comet is still flying with me.”

You hear a sniff and look up to find tears in Ice’s eyes. Your face twists as you hold his hand tighter, remembering how fond he was of your friend. With a deep breath, Ice turns towards his keys, “He is still flying with you. He’d be so beyond proud of you, you know.”

In reading the last line you feel hot tears blossom in your eyes. A smile of agreement pulls at your lips before you feel your composure break, “God, I miss him so much.” The words come out as a sob, leaving you gasping for a breath.

Ice pulls you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you so tightly as you fall against him. Your heart aches and so much of you just wants to stay in this moment, in his arms where you know that it’s safe and that he’s here.

But the moment still ends, just as the earth still spins. Ice gently pulls back, pausing to wipe the tears off your face and truly look at you. Your lip wobbles as you stare back. You can see all the love and pride he has for you circling in his eyes, and you feel as though you’re about to crumple all over again.

As he turns to type on his keyboard, you breathe deeply at an attempt to regain some of your composure. Ice moves quickly over the keys, “Comet will always be a part of you. I’ve notice that you’ve always seen that as some sort of weakness, when really it’s a great strength.”

Ice glances over at you before continuing, “You learned to fly together. Everything you know you learned with him by your side.” You feel yourself nodding along as more tears fall, “He may be gone, but he lives through you.”

You don’t know what to say. As you reread his words over and over again, you can tell that he’s said them before... to someone very special to you.

Thumbing over the dog tags still clasped tightly in your hand, you sigh, “I’ve never thought about it in that way before.”

“It’s hard to.” Ice types, “But I know you will be able to.”

You shrug a little, unsure. Still, you give him a small smile, “Thank you, Dad.”

His smile mirrors yours, only bigger. He holds tightly to your hand before typing, “Have you talked about it yet?”

You shoot him a confused look, “Yeah... back when it happened, you know that.”

Ice shakes his head and types, “That’s not what I mean.”

A sinking feeling fills your gut, pulling at your heart. Letting your gaze fall to your hands, you utter a quiet, “No. I haven’t been able to.”

“It will help.” Ice types slowly, his eyes filled with nothing but concern and understanding.

You can’t help but chuckle a little, “You sound like Rooster.”

“The kid knows.” Ice writes, giving you a pointed look. You nod. Bradley has dealt with his own terrible loses before. Ones you know that he still carries with him.

“Promise me you’ll try to talk about it.” Ice types, “Whether it be with him, or Maverick. Or anyone, really. Just talk about it.”

He watches you closely as you read. Looking over to him once you’re done, you can see the pain in his eyes. The pain of knowing that your child is hurting but there’s truly nothing you can do to help.

All you can do for him is nod, “I’ll try.” Ice smiles but then points at a word on the screen. You follow his finger and laugh lightly, “I promise, Dad.”

Ice smiles at you before motioning for you to stand. You do and help him get to his feet, your hands not leaving his arms even once he’s standing. He looks at you and cups the sides of your face as he clears his throat, “I’m so proud of you.” He says slowly.

You raise your eyebrows at the sound of his voice, pride swelling in your chest. He laughs at your expression before reaching into his pocket. Ice motions for you to hold your hand out and once you do he places something in your palm.

Glancing down, you find that it’s his dog tags. Turning them over to see his name, you pause for a moment before looking back to him, “Dad... what?”

Ice just smiles as he closes your hand around the tags and holds your closed fist to his chest, “I want you to have these...” He says softly, his voice scratchy yet so sure, “To remember that I’ll always be flying with you, too.”

The words hit you like a truck. For the first time since you got here, it fully clicks that he really doesn’t have much time left in this life. You feel tears roll down your face as your breath catches in your throat.

Tom Kazansky is dying, and you are both so painfully aware of it. A sob finds its way out of you as you fall into your dad’s already open arms. Burying your face in his shoulder, you hold him so tightly, never wanting to let go.

“I don’t want to lose you.” You cry, your voice muffled by his sweater. He just holds you tighter, his cheek pressed against your hair, “It will be okay...”

You pull back, shaking your head, “I don’t know how to do this without you.” You tell him, your voice trembling as you hold onto his arms.

He smiles sadly and thumbs away a tear, “My dear Wonder... everything you’ve accomplished is because of you, not me.” You’re already shaking your head no but he isn’t finished, “All I did was show you the way... you did the rest.”

You can’t breathe. His words suddenly feel too much like a goodbye. A goodbye that you’re not ready for. Ice can see the realization cross your features and just hugs you once more, his own eyes welling with tears.

He hugs you with everything that he has, ensuring that the embrace is full of nothing but love. Ice kisses the top of your head, “You’re a wonder, my darling. Never forget it.”

You just hold him so much tighter as a sob shakes your body, “I love you, Dad. So much.”

He rubs his hand in circles on your back, his voice quiet in your ear as he speaks, “I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.”

You both stay in the embrace for a while, neither one wanting to let go. But just as the day turns into night, this too must end. Ice is the one that pulls away first, his hands finding the sides of your face as he thumbs away your tears in a way only a father could.

“Keep flying, my wonder.” He whispers to you, the tears finally falling from his eyes.

Seeing the Iceman cry was a rare sight. But this wasn’t just Ice. This was Tom. This was your father... and he was saying goodbye.

With the words stuck in your throat, all you can do is hug him, and simply hope that he knows just how much he means to you.

He does, and you feel it in your heart when he hugs you back. You close your eyes as you lean into his hold, so much of you never wanting this moment to end.

☆☆☆

You don’t know how long you had stayed at your parents house, but by the time you were returning to base the sun was low in the sky. It cast a golden glow across the horizon as you drove through the gate, your windows down as the warm air blew through your car.

As you walk through the halls, you take note of the commotion that is the aviators wrapping up their day of training. Running a hand through your hair, you let your feet lead you to the rec room.

The second you enter the room you’re greeted with several waves and a chorus of hey’s and hello’s. You wave back before making a beeline for Rooster, who is leaning against the back wall as he stares out the window.

He looks over at you as you approach him, a smile immediately growing on his face at the sight of you. You can’t help but grin as well, just seeing him easing some of the weight off of your shoulders.

“How are you?” He asks, pushing himself off of the wall in favor of coming closer to you. You pretend that the simple action doesn’t send your stomach into a fit of flips.

“I’m fine.” You answer softly. The two of you stare at each other for a moment. You can see the way his eyebrows draw closer in concern at the sight of your red rimmed eyes, but thankfully he doesn’t question it.

You’re grateful to him for it. Instead of speaking, he just reaches down and interlaces his fingers with your own, giving your hand a squeeze. You squeeze back.

Rooster always knew how to make sure that you knew he was always there, even without saying anything. You appreciate him so much for it. More than he’ll ever know.

You two finally break away from each other when the door opens, revealing Maverick. He looks over everyone before clapping his hands together, a smile on his face, “Alright kids, that’s enough for today. It looks like you all are in dire need of some fun.”

You feel the confusion fill the room, the others exchanging glances with each other. Payback is the one who questions Maverick, “What do you mean, sir?”

Maverick just smiles wider, “We’re going on a field trip.” Is all he says before turning on his heel and motioning for everyone to follow him. You look to Rooster, who looks back with an equally lost expression.

“A field trip?” Hangman asks as he pulls himself off of the leather couch, “What are we, eight?”

“In his eyes, pretty much.” Rooster says. You chuckle at the comment, as you know just how true it is.

☆☆☆

Not even an hour later you all were bunched together on the beach. Maverick was explaining the rules of a game he called “Dogfight Football”, one that he himself had invented back in the day.

You’re grateful for the distraction from the days earlier events, filling your competitive nature come to the surface as you line up with your team. From next to you, Phoenix gives you a fist bump as the two of you get ready to play.

Pushing your sunglasses up against your nose, you look over to the opposing side, and feel heat rush to your face when you catch sight of Rooster. For a moment you feel yourself forget where you are as you stare at the way his toned body catches the sunlight.

An elbow nudging against your arm pulls your attention away from the man, “I don’t have to worry about you gawking at Bradshaw, do I?”

You blink at her as your mouth falls open, “Gawking? Wha- no. No, I won’t- no.” Your stuttering only causes her to shake her head as a smile grows on her face, “Get it together, Wonder.”

“I am together.” You state, shaking out your hands, “I am so together right now.”

“Mhm. Prove it, babe.” Phoenix says, causing you to laugh as Maverick shouts for everyone to get ready. You bend down, mirroring Hangman as he readies himself with the ball next to you.

Looking forward, you lock eyes with Rooster and smile. He points at you as he grins, “You’re going down, Kazansky.”

“In your dreams, Bradshaw.” You cock your head to the side, a smile playing on your lips.

He doesn’t get the chance to answer as his words get cut off by the sound of Hondo’s whistle. In the next second, you’re all surging towards each other, getting caught up in a jumble of sand and sweat.

The game ensues with a chorus of yelling, tackling, and some well needed laughter. As it goes on, you do find yourself going against Phoenix’s wishes and casting maybe one too many glances towards Rooster.

Well, it isn’t really your fault. The man is quite literally built like a god and fucking glistening. It’s unfair for someone to look that good. Damn him.

After a good amount of rounds, you’ve all lost score and Maverick has tapped out, earning a chorus of groans from the others as the man tosses the ball to Phoenix before opting to just watch.

The disappointment is short lived as everyone lines up again, smiles all around. You find yourself across from Rooster once more and have to physically keep yourself from cussing him out as he has the audacity to wink at you from above his sunglasses.

Oh, he is so going down.

Nudging Hangman, you shoot him a look and he nods back, a smirk playing on his face. You turn forward, fingers twitching slightly as you bend down. The second Hondo blows the whistle, you run to the side, just as Hangman throws the ball your way.

You catch it and turn on your heel before tossing it to Phoenix. You motion towards the goal and she gives you a quick nod before weaving her way between the others. You do the same, kicking up sand as you sprint to the designated goal spot.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Rooster right behind you, his attention drawn to Phoenix. It takes less than a second for you to realize that he saw your exchange.

“Shit-” You breathe out, head whipping around as Phoenix yells for you. You watch her throw the ball your way and lift your head as you follow it with your eyes. Running forward with your arms outstretched, you jump up in order to bring yourself closer to the ball.

Unfortunately for you, Rooster had the same idea. Your fingers are just barely brushing against the ball when he collides with you, sending both of you to the sandy ground.

You land hard on your side, the ball just barely out of reach. You feel rather than see Rooster land next to you, a grunt leaving him as he stumbles into the sand. Stars cross your vision for a second, but leave the moment you shake your head.

Rooster’s body brushes up against yours as he shifts himself to stand. As he does, a devious idea crosses your mind. Eyeing the ball, you lift yourself to a crouching position before bringing a hand to your head.

Your fingers brush across the bandages and you let out a slightly dramatized hiss of pain. The second the sound leaves your mouth you can see Rooster’s head snap towards you.

If his immediate concern didn’t make your heart flutter as much as it did, you would have laughed at his reaction.

“Shit, Wonder-” He starts, kneeling in front of you, “Are you okay? I didn’t-”

His words stop abruptly as you stick your tongue out him, causing his mouth to fall open. With a laugh, you lurch forward and grab the ball. You’re on your feet and sprinting towards the goal before he can even process what just happened.

“Oh, you dirty little cheater!” Rooster yells after you. All you can do is laugh triumphantly as you cross over to the goal, holding the ball up in victory. You can hear your team cheering behind you, a wide smile on your face as you yell out.

Rooster runs up to you and grabs you by the waist, spinning you around. You laugh out of surprise, your back pressed against his chest as he holds you. Feeling the heat rise in your face, you try to pretend its just the adrenaline as he brings you back to your feet.

“I can’t believe you!” He says, though his laughter shakes his voice to a point where if you didn’t know him so well, you would have no idea what he was saying.

You just shrug, your face beginning to hurt from how hard you’re smiling, “Not my fault that you fall for me so easily.” As the words leave your mouth, you turn on your heel just as you catch Rooster’s reaction of pure shock.

He stutters a bit behind you, what you said leaving both him and you surprised. Once your back is turned to him, your eyes widen at yourself as you hold the ball to your chest.

What the hell, Kazansky? You internally scold yourself.

But all confusion from your burst of confidence drifts away as your team runs up to you, shaking your shoulders and screaming in triumph.

“That was hilarious!” Phoenix says in your ear over the shouts of everyone else. You smile at her but your smile turns into a startled laugh when you feel arms under your legs and behind your back.

Dropping the ball and turning to the side, you can see nothing but your goofy grin in Hangman’s sunglasses. You throw your arms up in victory as he holds you up, the others crowded around as they chant your name.

“I knew I always wanted to be on a team with you.” Hangman chuckles as he lowers you back to the ground. You smile and pat his shoulder, “Smart man.”

He just smiles back widely as he offers you a little bow before turning towards the others. You roll your eyes at the man and his antics. An arm thrown across your shoulders brings you to look off to the side, squinting at the setting sun.

“Well played, Wonder.” Rooster says as he rubs his hand along your arm. You reach up and squeeze his hand, “Why thank you, Rooster.”

He stares at you for a moment and it’s only then when you realize he’s no longer where his sunglasses. Your eyes flick up to find them nestled on the top of his head, amongst his curls. It takes everything in you not to reach up and push back a stray hair on his forehead.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Both of your heads snap towards the Hard Deck as Hangman yells out to you, “Mav is buying us all a drink, move it or lose it!”

You shake your head as you take Rooster’s arm off of your shoulders, your hand sliding down his arm in favor of taking his own in yours. You surprise yourself with the smoothness of the action but pay it no mind as you pull the man towards the bar.

After thanking Maverick for not only the drink, but for the game, you find yourself sitting down on the shoreline, the water swirling around your feet. Your fingers are unconsciously circling around in the damp sand when, your eyes drawn to the setting sun on the horizon.

The sand shifts a bit as someone sits down next to you, and you turn to see Rooster, a bottle in his hand. You smile at him as you take a drink from your own, allowing your eyes to drift across the beach as you see the others sprawled around in the sand.

Sighing deeply, you lean your body against Rooster. He leans back and nudges at your arm a bit with his elbow, “How are you doing?”

You chuckle, “Roo, I was just pretending with the whole head thing. It didn’t actually hurt.”

He drops his head as he smiles, “I know, hon.” His gaze drifts back to you and you can’t help but notice how the deep browns are reflecting the golden sun in the most perfect way.

“I was just asking how my best girl is doing.” Rooster tells you, his voice quiet.

You breathe out through your nose as you pull your eyes away from his, “I’m fine.”

He’s shaking his head, his fingers playing with the condensation on the bottle in his hands, “Y’know, you do this thing a lot where you hide what’s really going on.”

Rooster turns his head towards you, and you feel your breath catch in your throat at the slight sadness swimming through his eyes, “Please don’t do that with me. Not now.”

Oh. You feel your face scrunch up as you sniff and drop your gaze to the glass bottle hanging loosely in your hands, “I don’t mean to.”

“I know you don’t.” Rooster says quickly, turning his body towards you, “Just... talk to me. If you want.”

You can’t help but smile at him. God, why is he so good. There’s a slight heat growing behind your eyes as you speak, “I do want to. It’s just...” You trail off, the words failing you.

“Difficult?” Rooster suggests. You exhale slowly and nod, “Yeah.”

Rooster is quiet for a moment, and you watch how he gently sets his bottle down in the sand before taking your hand in his own, “Well... just start slow. Start with what you did this morning, then let the rest follow.”

You stare at him for a second, feeling it in your heart that those exact words have been said to him before. For a reason very similar to your own. Your throat tightens, you always knew that of all people Rooster would be able to understand the most, but God does it hurt to know it.

Looking down to your intertwined hands, you sniff as you recall your day, “I went and saw my dad.” You’re not even sure your voice can be heard over the waves, but with how Rooster’s body stiffens you know that he caught it.

He was one of the first people you told after you had found out about Ice when he first got sick years ago. He’s been with you every step of the way and has been a continuous rock in your life. Every part of you is painfully aware that you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him.

“How is he?” He asks quietly. You shrug, “Nobody knows.”

Silence falls between the two of you for a moment. Sure, nobody is certain... but it isn’t hard to guess how things will go. It isn’t hard at all. In fact, it’s so easy that it feels like it’s tearing a hole through your heart just thinking of how the world could be so cruel. So cruel to make something like this so... so simple.

Feeling hot tears make their unwelcome appearance in your eyes, you look away from Rooster and towards the sunset, “It... felt like a goodbye.” Your breath hitches as you finally say it, “The way he was talking to me... what he was saying.”

You squint at the orange of the sun, taking a drink. Rooster’s hold on your hand tightens, “Do you think it was?”

You can only shrug again, not wanting to make a definite answer, “I don’t want to think about it at all.” Rooster is quiet after that, but still nods along in understanding. It’s no walk in the park to talk about someone you love dying, he knows that. All too well.

Shifting in the sand, you reach into the pocket of your gym shorts and pull out Ice’s tags, holding them with your free hand as you show them to your companion, “He gave me these.” You tell him as you drop them into his open palm.

He thumbs over the engraving of Ice’s name, “Why?” He asks softly, looking over to you. The second your eyes meet his you feel a tear fall. Angrily wiping it away, you shake your head, “I told him how I still wear Comet’s.”

Rooster doesn’t pull his gaze away from you as you continue, “And... how it’s like he’s still flying with me.” You watch as Rooster returns the tags before clasping his hand around your closed fist, the necklace safe between the two of your hands.

Your face crumples a bit, “He said now he can fly with me too.” You voice is nothing more than a whisper. Rooster holds your hands tightly in his own, the look in his eyes offering you nothing but comfort and warmth.

What you would give to just stay within them forever. You lean into his touch as he reaches up and holds the side of your face, thumbing away the tears.

Closing your eyes, you let out a deep breath, “I knew it was a goodbye.” His hand drops to your arm, pulling you a little closer to him, “You did?”

You nod, “The minute I went home I knew it. That’s why I didn’t want to go... I just tried to focus on the mission and nothing else-” Your voice breaks off at the end and that’s all it takes before Rooster is enveloping you in a hug. You wrap your arms around his back, your head falling against his shoulder.

He holds you tightly for a moment before speaking, “Did you say everything you needed to?”

You almost laugh, “Barely.”

Rooster’s hold only tightens, “I’m sure he knows, though.”

You nod a little, feeling yourself trying to hide from the world as you melt into his hold. Your eyes fall closed and you squeeze them tightly, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”

Rooster rubs his hand along your back, in the same comforting way he knows helps you, “You’ll feel lost for a bit... but you’ll persevere. You always do. Besides,” He pulls back the smallest amount, just enough to see your face, “You’ll never be alone. We’re all going to be here for you.”

All you can do is nod, the words getting stuck in your throat. Rooster smiles a little at you as he leans forward and kisses your forehead. Your eyes slip closed, the small action filling your heart with so much raw emotion that it’s almost overwhelming.

“It’ll be okay, I promise.” Rooster says as he pulls you back to him, his cheek resting against your hair, “It’ll hurt like hell... but it will be okay.”

You hold him tighter, feeling as though he is the only thing that’s keeping you grounded, “Thank you..” You whisper.

“I’ll always be here.” He tells you, his voice soft but so sure. Those four simple words pull at your heart as you hug him.

A part of you is left wondering how true his statement really is.

☆☆☆

The next day you’re cleared to go into the air, which fills you with excitement before it all comes crashing down as the day goes on. Maverick had briefed you all on the tight turns and G’s you’d have to pull in order to avoid detection from enemy SAM’s.

Just like before though, there was nothing but failure and building frustration coursing through everyone as each group went up into the sky. It was all just one thing after another that left everyone feeling more and more doubtful of the success rate for the mission.

Maverick wasn’t holding back though. With each failure, he’d face the team with a question of, “Why are you dead?” Which only caused the aviators to stutter over their words and allow the true gravity of the mission to weigh down on their shoulders.

You could do nothing but watch as each team went up for their run, only to come back down marked as a fail. Coyote breaks too suddenly and sends Phoenix and Bob flying right into the SAM’s range.

Hangman goes too fast and leaves Payback and Fanboy scrambling off course. Rooster is slow and steady, but only frustrates Yale and Omaha as the window for an enemy encounter expands by the second.

You almost make it, but fail right at the end with Fritz and Halo on your tail. Slamming your hands against your controls, your head falls back against your seat as you breathe out deeply. Your heart is still racing from the panic you had felt leading the other two through the course.

“Why are you dead?” Maverick is standing before you back in the briefing room. The air is stale and silent as you stare back at him with nothing to say. He nods in place of your silence and opts for dismissing everyone before the tension gets too high.

Getting up even before Maverick is finished speaking, you run your hands down your face as you walk through the hall, moving quickly to get back to your room.

As you round a corner however, you’re met with the wall of frustration that is Fritz. He’s got a couple inches on you and is staring down at you with fire in his eyes.

Stepping back slightly, you offer him an apologetic look, “Fritz, I’m sorry-”

Your attempt at an apology is cut off as Fritz points at your chest, “You were supposed to be team leader up there, but all you did was lead us into the ground.”

You feel your words get caught in your throat. Fritz had always been someone you admired, someone who was always quick to offer help to anyone. But looking at the man before you, you find that you can’t recognize him as the same giddy cadet you knew back at the academy.

“I- it was just training, Fritz.” You say, nothing but confusion circling through your head at his reaction.

He scoffs at you, “Yeah, well it won’t always be.”

You can feel the straying gazes of other aviators as they cross through the hall, but you can’t find it in you to care as you face Fritz with a firm stare. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Halo send an apologetic look your way from where she stands behind her pilot.

“What’s your problem, Fritz?” You ask him, your hands on your hips.

“My problem is you.” He bites back, his face red.

You blink, “Huh?”

Fritz steps closer, which only causes you to step away as he speaks, “Every time you go up there it’s clear your mind is somewhere else. That’s dangerous.”

His voice is growing louder with every word as he continues without letting you cut in, “Especially if you’re working with a team. If you’re leading a team.”

“Fritz-” You start but he cuts you off again, “What are you so afraid of?” He asks, his voice low.

There’s a fire that has started burning inside of you, nothing but his audacity being the fuel to it. You find that you don’t have anything to say to him, which only allows him to keep going, “I really question why you’re here. You fly recklessly and without a thought of others around you. You’re a solo pilot, so why the hell are you here?”

You stare at him in surprise, each word coming from his mouth nothing that you would’ve ever expected him to say. Fritz grins something terrible, “Unless of course, dear old dad pulled some strings.”

In that moment Halo steps forward and grabs onto his arm, “Fritz-” But she never gets the chance to finish as you step towards the man, the fire spreading, “Don’t you dare talk about my father. I earned my spot here just the same as everyone else.”

Fritz’s lips form a hard line as he shakes Halo’s hands off of his arm, “Yeah? Well, everyone here knows how to fly with a team.” He steps so close that you can feel his hot breath ghosting across your face, “Meanwhile you fly solo because you’re stuck in the past and too scared to do otherwise.”

You’re fuming as you lowly say to him, “You’re walking a thin line, Fritz.”

He faces you with a smug grin, “What are you going to do, huh? Cry to daddy?”

You clench your fists at you sides, so tightly you can feel your nails digging into your palms. Shock crosses across Halo’s face as she tries to get Fritz to back down again, “Hey, that’s enough.”

Once again, he ignores her. You can hear foot steps from behind you, but you pay them no mind as you stare unblinkingly back at Fritz.

“Well, Wonder,” He practically spits your name, “Got anything to say?”

You bite your tongue. You have many things to say to him, but you were raised to be a decent enough person to keep them from passing your lips.

Fritz huffs as he stares at you, his hands resting on his hips, “What would Comet think if he saw you now?”

You’re entire body goes rigid at the mention of your late partner’s name. Fritz doesn’t have a single right to bring him into this conversation.

“He looked up to you, and what did you do for him?” Fritz’s voice is low as he looks down at you, “You buried him in the ground.”

You feel the tears that had been building up in your eyes finally fall. Nothing could have prepared you for what Fritz was going to say. There was no reason to bring Comet into this.

Fritz moves ever closer and shoves at your chest, causing you to stumble back a couple of steps, “No doubt you won’t do the same to the rest of us if they somehow make you team leader. Or even choose you for the mission to begin with.”

You can’t bring yourself to look away as he continues, your words caught in your tightening throat, “All you are is a sad excuse for an aviator. You fly alone, too scared that someone else is going to end up like poor Comet... just another back seater doomed to death by their pilot.”

Anger shoots through you as your eyes flick to Fritz’s WSO. Halo’s expression mirrors your own.

“You didn’t deserve him.” Fritz is still going, “But hey, since he was flying with you maybe it was a relief to be killed-”

The rest of his words are choked back into his throat as you punch him. Your fist connects with his nose and you hear a crack before the man falls backwards onto the ground. You’re on top of him in the next second, gripping the collar of his flight suit in your hands, “How fucking dare you!” You yell, your voice breaking just as you pull your arm back for another hit.

Hands around your arms stop you and yank you off of the man, who curls up on his side to hold his bleeding nose. You struggle against whoever is holding you as your feet leave the ground for a second because of how fast they pull you back.

You’re seeing red as you stare at Fritz, still laying on his side with no one moving to help him. Not even Halo, who just stares down blankly at her pilot. You’re chest is heaving with uneven breaths as you pull against the hands holding onto your arms.

Your vision blurs with tears and in the next second someone is in front of you, their gentle hands on your shoulders. Shaking your head you look up slightly and see Rooster in front of you, saying your name.

All of sudden the fire inside of you goes out. The fight leaves you. All you can see is his concerned expression as he speaks to you, not a word of it making it to you due to the loud ringing in your ears. You can feel the others hold on you lessen as you go slack, your arms dropping to your sides.

Without a word, your turn around and walk away, only just barely hearing Rooster call after you.

Back in your barracks room, you can nothing but sit on your bed with your head in your hand. The hand you used to punch Fritz hangs limply at your side, your knuckles throbbing slightly from the hit.

You don’t know how long you’ve been in the darkened room, but you know it’s long enough for word to have gotten to the admirals. You groan at the thought of what they’re going to have to say about all of this.

A soft knock at your door brings you to lift your head from your hand, only to find Rooster peeking out from behind the door. He offers you a small smile as he waves a bit, “Can I come in?”

You can’t help the way your lips tug up ever so slightly as you nod at him, shifting over to make room for him on your twin sized mattress. He sits down hesitantly, his fingers drumming against his knees.

You don’t look at him. There’s a silence that falls between you two, but you can’t bring yourself to break it. Rooster however, doesn’t have to.

He offers his hand out to you and you give him a quizzical look. Grinning a little, he motions towards your bruising knuckles. You sigh and gently place your hand into his own.

He holds it gingerly, his fingers slowly working their way across the back of your hand as he rubs at the blossoming bruises. Neither of you speak, but you can tell that there’s a lot on his mind.

You’re not sure how much of yours and Fritz’s falling out, but you know it was enough for him to look at you the way he did.

“If you’re here to ridicule me, then save your breath.” You say suddenly, not in the mood to be yelled at like a child that did something wrong, “I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of it from the admiral’s.”

Rooster shakes his head, his attention still on your hand, “No, that’s not why I’m here. Besides,” He glances up at you, “the others are making sure that Cyclone and Warlock know exactly what happened.”

He smiles ever so slightly at your raised eyebrow, “Because, y’know, Fritz went running to them like a dog with his tail between his legs.”

A small “Ah.” comes out of you as you drop your gaze to your lap.

“But no...” Rooster continues, “I’m not one to ridicule. Especially after hearing what he said to you.”

Your shoulders tense as Fritz’s words circle through your head. The gentle movements of Rooster’s thumb across your knuckles brings you back as he speaks, “That was one hell of a punch though.”

You frown, “I shouldn’t have done it.”

“He deserved it.” The sudden seriousness to Rooster’s voice brings you to look at him, “He shouldn’t have said a damn word to you.”

You shake your head, “He was just angry.”

“That’s not an excuse, Wonder!” You face Rooster with a surprised look as his voice grows. His face is tinged red and his hold on your hand tightens. Upon realizing how he yelled, he takes a moment to breathe before continuing in a softer tone, “Nothing can excuse what he said, or how he acted. Nothing.”

You sniff and angrily wipe at the tears that had begun to overflow. Goddamn it you’re tired of crying. Silence falls between you both again, and Rooster goes back to gently circling his thumb across your purpling knuckles.

You watch as he moves with such care, the simple movements pulling at your heart more than you thought it could. In giving his hand a little squeeze, Rooster looks up at you. You smile slightly at him as you reach over and brush a stray curl off of his forehead, “Thanks for holding me back.”

He chuckles and ducks his head, “A part of me wishes I hadn’t.”

You shrug, “I had no intention of stopping.” You turn a little as you lean your back against the wall, your head resting on the cool stone, “I don’t know what I would’ve done had you all not been there.”

Rooster mirrors your position but doesn’t let go of your hand, “We’re a team. More than that... and we’ll always be here.” He nudges you with his elbow, “Even when things are tough.”

The word “team” tugs at your heart. Looking off to the side, your eyes drift over the string of photos that are hung above your head board. It was a temporary decoration that you put up to try and make the cramped room feel a little more like home.

You let out a deep breath as you trace across the photos with your eyes, “Fritz was right, though.”

Rooster starts next to you, “What?”

You look back to him, “About me always flying solo.”

Rooster stares back at you with the most baffled look but you ignore it as you keep going, “After what happened I’ve never been able to really click with a team like I used to.”

“Well, no one expected you to just jump back from it.” Rooster says softly, pressing the side of his head as he turns to look at you. You do the same, pulling your legs closer to your body, “Yeah, but it’s been years.”

“That doesn’t matter, Wonder.” Rooster’s voice is so impossibly quiet you’re sure you’ve imagined it for a second. But with the sincerity in his eyes, and the way his brows crease together, you know you didn’t. He shrugs a little, “Time can only heal so much.”

You know he’s right but a part of you is still stuck on what Fritz said. You shouldn’t be as hung up on it as you are, but your growing insecurities from over the years are hanging onto it as if it’s a life line.

“I don’t think I should’ve been called back here.” You say simply. Rooster’s eyes go wide, “Wonder-”

“I don’t.” You stop him gently, “It should’ve been someone else.”

There’s a glint of anger in Rooster’s eyes as he shakes his head, “No. No, I’m not going to sit here and let you say that about yourself.” He shifts closer to you, clasping your hand within both of his and brining it to his chest.

Rooster stares at you with such a look that you can’t bring yourself to look away as he begins talking, “You are one of the best goddamn pilots I have ever seen. I’ve never flown with someone like you, and it just blows my mind that you still can’t see your talent.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes as your head shakes slightly, “Rooster-”

“I’m not done.” He says quickly. The way he says it makes your heart flutter as you close your mouth, fixing him with an expectant stare. He just looks back at you for a second before continuing, “You’ve gone through so much, and yet you’re still here. You’re still flying and still working your ass off.”

Rooster reaches over and wipes away a stray tear that you didn’t know had fallen, “What happened to you is unimaginable, yet you persevered and you made it, Wonder. And I know that Comet would be so incredibly proud of you.”

Your breath catches in your throat as hot tears roll down your face, “You think?”

He smiles at you, “I know. I know because I’m proud of you too. So is Maverick, so is your dad.” You feel your face contort with all types of emotions as you drop your gaze.

“Speaking of Ice...” Rooster says softly as he gently places his hand under your chin and lifts it so that you look at him, “He really was spot on with what he always said about you.”

You take his hand off of your chin in favor of holding it, “What would that be?”

“That you’re a wonder.” He smiles, his eyes filled with something you’ve never seen before. But whatever it is, God does it take your breath away.

Words abandon you and you’re left with nothing to say, so you simply lean forward and wrap your arms around him. He does the same to you without a second of hesitation.

Rooster holds you against him, his embrace warm and all too perfectly the exact thing that you needed. You lean your head against his shoulder, the sweet smell of his cologne surrounding you.

“You saying that means a lot, Roo.” You say softly, your voice slightly muffled by his shirt. He just holds you tighter, “It’s easy to say when it’s all true.”

You feel tears blossom in your eyes again but this time you don’t rush to wipe them away. You don’t think anything could get you to let go right now. Leaning deeper into the embrace, you let out a quiet, “Thank you for being here.”

Rooster smiles down at you and kisses the top of your head, “I always will be.”

Pulling back just enough to see his face, you take a deep breath, “I’m a different pilot than I was before... I know that.” Your words begin falling out of your mouth faster than you can think, “I feel it in everything that I do and- and I know sometimes it drives me to be either too hesitant or far too reckless.”

You pause to take a breath, and that’s when Rooster speaks, “That’s just how you fly... everyone flies differently.”

“But I miss how I used to be.” You tell him simply, your voice quiet but more firm than it’s been since he walked into the room.

He looks back at you with a glint of understanding in his eyes, “How was that?”

You sigh as you let the side of your head rest against the wall once more, “Carefree...”

Rooster sucks in a breath. He was with you almost every step of the way, from the first time you got into a plane, all the way to officially getting your wings. He knows how you were... and he knows how you are now.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move past it.” You say, your eyes drawn to a cobweb in the corner of the room, “That’s what holds me back. That’s what makes is hard for me to work with others.”

Rooster gently places his hand on your knee, his thumb rubbing across the fabric of your flight suit. It’s warm and comforting against your skin.

“You’ll need to learn to let go... In order to move on, Wonder.” He says softly, his eyebrows drawing together as he looks at you. You stare back, tears in your eyes as you whisper, “I don’t know how.”

His gaze softens, “Just... take it one step at a time.” Your breath catches in your throat. You know where he’s going with this even before he says it, “Talk to me, Wonder.”

You chew on your lip as you let your eyes drift towards the ceiling, “I’m not ready.” You look back to Rooster, “Not yet. Not today.”

Rooster leans against you, a simple action to let you know that he’s there and not going anywhere. “That’s okay.” He tells you gently, “Just know that I’ll listen whenever you’re ready.”

That’s all you need. Nodding, you fall into his already opening arms that wrap around you in the tightest embrace. You allow yourself to just be held for a moment, your arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Rooster?” You ask.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” You say softly.

He rubs his hand along your back, “For what?”

“For being here.” You tell him, your hands closing around the fabric of his shirt, “For being you.”

You’re not sure how it’s possible, but he holds you tighter, “I’ll always try to be, honey.” You smile as you bury your face in his shoulder, once again allowing his embrace to take you away from the troubles of the world around you.

Rooster rests his cheek against your head, “You really are a wonder, aren’t you?” His question makes you laugh, which fills your chest with warmth.

You peer up at him with a smile, “I try to be.” He laughs too, a good laugh that is nothing but a sweet melody to your tired ears.

☆☆☆

A/n: Fritz my dear I apologize, I needed someone to be a jerk but you did so well <3 Anywayy, I hope you all enjoyed!

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