#bd/sm advice

[zeusmagnolia]

Hi, sir! Any tips on vetting a Dom? It's interesting to hear it from your perspective as a Dom. Thanks!

Well there's the obvious stuff: they should be clear about boundaries and safety, they should be capable of having a conversation about hard limits and safe words.

But here's some other things to look out for:

You should always ask a Dom about their previous subs. What kind of play did they do? Are they still playing? Why not? Are they still friends with previous subs?

People tend to tell on themselves when you ask them about previous partners. "Oh I don't talk to my last sub anymore- she got scared and couldn't handle REAL dominance" (big red flag!), "Most girls don't last long with me" (yikes!), "I don't like going to that [kink munch or event], the organizers all hate me for some reason" (I wonder why???)

Also I personally would avoid a dom that has no evidence of them actually playing. If someone is claiming to be a really experienced dom, but their fetlife only has bathroom selfies, or their tumblr is just a bunch fantasy text posts that can't actually be performed irl, I raise an eyebrow. Not a red flag but something to look out for.

The biggest Green Flag for a dom is a dom who is actively seen with subs. Who sees the same subs consistently for a long time. If you see through social media or at events that your potential dom has regular partners and playmates, it signals that they are capable of maintaining relationships. I would trust a dom who has one sub consistently coming back, way more than a dom who sees a new sub every week.

#zm answers #bd/sm lifestyle #bd/sm advice

[thekinksofyourlife]

If she's an overthinker, make sure to overstimulate her so she can't think at all

#bd/sm dom #bd/sm blog #bd/sm daddy #rough cnc #bd/sm advice

[reddraven]

Hey fellow painsluts and other masochistic subbies... I just wanna share something that was helpful for me. Maybe it'll resonate with some of you too...

But like... its okay to not enjoy pain sometimes

And what I mean by that is recieving pain is not a passive role

It takes a lot of focus and mental energy to process that kind of intense stimuli. Learning how to translate pain into pleasure is a skill. Its something you develop over time

So if you're ever in a scene, and the pain your recieving is just... pain... its okay to stop, take a break, negotiate a different kind of scene , or do whatever you need to do

Take your time learning to process pain, and learning what kind of pain you like. You are still valid as a sub and as a masochist no matter where you are on that personal journey

#bd/sm safety #kink safety #bd/sm masochist #masochist sub #bd/sm k1nk #t4t sub #t4t ns/fw #k!nk #t4t kink #d/s #queer kink #queer bd/sm #pain k!nk #bd/sm advice #kink advice #trans k!nk #trans kink #queer k!nk

[s-uccubus-mommy]

Something I’ve noticed about gen z bdsmblr-

“Roleplay”

This is fascinating to me. There’s a lot of you who just want to talk dirty with someone. And I get that… but what about the real thing?

Aren’t you interested in a real, physical D/s relationship? Or no?

Is this a thing now because everyone is chronically online and has social anxiety?

#mommy k!nk #bd/sm mommy #domme mommy #md/lb #subby boys #fdom #gentle fdom #ns/fw #bd/sm advice

[dominants-dominion]

Hi! Any tips on how not to burn out on being in a 24/7 power dynamic?

Yeah. Don't make you're entire relationship built around being d/s. Live your lives as you normally would you can just spice it up at anytime.

Like 50%-75% of our time is spent like any other married couple. But the rest of that time is spent in our dynamic. And it just becomes natural where nothing is forced or feels outta place.

At anytime I can give direction and structure. But it's not like it needs to be a constant harping or else I'd get tired of myself.

#d d answers

[fraye-complex]

Hubby accidently called me his Good Girl like a month ago while he was Absolutely Railing Me and I think it may have unlocked something because I'm still thinking about it...

Instead of the ick I usually get from being misgendered, this time it hit the same way as being called his Dumb Little Whore.

Is this how misgendering kinks start? Because that felt Different in a way I kind of want to explore, but I'm a little worried I may trigger myself in the process.

#bd/sm kink #cnc k!nk #k!nk #nblm #nblm ns/fw #nblm nsft #nblnb ns/fw #nblnb nsft #misgender kink #misgenderingkink #detrans kink #k!nk talk #k!nk blog #k!nky thoughts #bd/sm advice #queer nsft #queer ns/fw #queer bd/sm #cw misgendering #tw misgendering #Fraye Complex

[whatdoyouneedsugar]

listen, i don't like pretending like i can tell people what to do, and if i say something you think is wrong let me know, I'm open to discussions (healthy, non rude ones), but please understand that being a sub doesn't mean you get to turn to a dom and say 'i don't have limits, do whatever you want to me' when they try to have a conversation with you about your expectations, limits and boundaries.

first of all, that is one way to be vulnerable to abuse but i've seen a lot of takes on that so i'll talk about something else regarding this:

it's not your dom's responsibility to decide what your limits are. i understand each dynamic is different and warrants different levels of power exchange but the framework within which that exchange happens is to be negociated on equal footing. a dom should not feel pressured to take all accountability for deciding what happens, because "a real dom just knows what to do". that's really hot in porn and smut, but not in real life, sorry to break it to you.

doms are susceptible to abuse, being pressured into uncomfortable situations, having big emotional drops post scenes, being eaten up by feelings of self-hatred and guilt when not properly supported by their partner, just as much as subs.

if you're a sub, please learn that doesn't absolve you from responsibility, from having empathy towards your partner, from educating yourself about safe play practices, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't be toxic or abusive, even if that's not your intention. a bdsm dynamic is a relationship like any other, and needs all its participants actively working to make it a safe space where you can thrive together and have fun.

educate yourselves and look after yourselves, your partner/partners and your dynamic as a whole.

#txt.bunny #bunny rants #bd/sm community #d/s relationship #dom/sub dynamic #bs/sm education #bd/sm advice

[zeusmagnolia]

Objectification, Degradation, Ownership and Praise - A Guide

Objectification -> You are a hole to fuck

Degradation -> Your holes are worthless and filthy

Ownership -> Your holes belong to me

Praise -> Your holes feel so good

Objectification and praise -> You are such a good fuck toy

Objectification and Degradation -> You are a worthless fuck hole

Objectification and ownership -> You are my personal fuck toy

Degradation and ownership -> You are mine to destroy. I will ruin you.

Degradation and praise -> You are such a pretty little cum slut

Ownership and praise -> You are my favorite- I love owning you

Objectification, Degradation and Praise -> You are the best little cum hole

Objectification, Degradation, praise and Ownership -> You are my favorite cum filled hole to fuck.

Reblog with your favorite combination or add your own!

#zm post #bd/sm advice #degredation kink #objectify me #ownership #praise k!nk

[thekinksofyourlife]

My love language is rough breeding sessions 🖤

#bd/sm dom #bd/sm blog #bd/sm daddy #soft cnc #rough cnc #bd/sm advice

[s-uccubus-mommy]

First, I applaud you for how you run your blog. It’s commendable and respectable to be willing to answer other’s questions, especially newbies and help them understand what a healthy D/s dynamic looks like. Two minutes on your blog and it’s apparent you are a genuine Domme, and trust me that’s hard to find online. Sadly many naive submissive’s get taken advantage of by fake Dommes just looking for money. I myself was a victim of one when I first entered the community. My question to you is do you find that finding a genuine honest male submissive is just as challenging online as what I have found when it comes for finding a genuine honest female Domme?

Thank you! That’s a nice compliment.

I’ve met several male subs who have been blackmailed or taken advantage of financially by an online “domme”, it’s too bad it’s so common. Don’t let a new partner film you.

I do find it difficult to find a genuine partner, but being the one in the dominant position I think makes the stakes less high. I generally get to decide what we do, ya know? I don’t think real abuse is as likely as it is for subs.

The most common problem I’ve run into is male subs lying about wanting an actual relationship with me. They’ll say or do anything just to have a kinky sexual experience or two. I’m pretty upfront in the beginning saying I want to be monogamous and exclusive and I want a relationship beyond kink. And they agree, but then after they get what they want they leave. It can be really painful and has led me to developing pretty major trust issues honestly. Even the sweetest little sub can turn cruel.

Of course as a woman in a sex-focused space I’m always going to get fuckboys who know nothing about bdsm in my DMs too. But at least they’re easy to spot.

I dunno I just… it’s been disheartening lately for me trying to figure out if I will ever find someone who I mesh well with on a human level, who is a good partner, a good person, a good communicator, emotionally intelligent and wants to be submissive.

#mommy k!nk #bd/sm mommy #domme mommy #md/lb #subby boys #gentle fdom #fdom #bd/sm advice

[justdavina]

Mia Nowlan – Beautiful Transgender Youtuber

Sooooooo Cute! I Love her so much!! Just a wonderful transgender girl!

#trans community #trans #transgender #cisgender #lgbtqia #queer #genderqueer #gender presentation #gender nonconforming #castro district #transgirl #transgenderwoman #lgbtlove #bd/sm community #castro san francisco #castro street #coming out #coming out advice #cross dressing #crossdresserlife #crossdressgirls #cute crossdreser #cute femboy #cute tgirl #cute trans #cute trap #lgbtq community #queer community #national coming out day #queer culture

[zeusmagnolia]

Safety tip: have a non verbal safe word

sometimes many people having an anxiety or trauma response during play will go non-verbal or be otherwise unable to voice a safeword.

Its good to discuss this with your partner and be prepared.

I often suggest crossing your hands over your chest and tapping on your neck or shoulders as a non verbal safe word.

Talk to your partner about how they experience anxiety or trauma responses and work with them to agree upon and appropriate signal.

#zm post #Bd/sm advice #bd/sm kink #bd/sm blog #bd/sm community

[thekinksofyourlife]

Stretch marks are a GPS map to good pussy

#bd/sm dom #bd/sm blog #bd/sm daddy #soft cnc #rough cnc #bd/sm advice

[s-uccubus-mommy]

Do you have any advice for introducing this to a vanilla girlfriend? I have a mommy domme kink and I desperately want to be put into diapers, but I have no idea how to admit it. I'm also worried that she won't like me anymore if she knows.

Going from vanilla to ABDL would be a giant leap for her, and odds are it won’t go well. If you haven’t picked up on her having any interest in anything related to diapers, I would not lead with it. For your best shot at getting there someday, it’s gonna be a process.

When talking about kink with a partner, it should be an honest and open conversation outside of the bedroom. If you’re not used to this it can feel very vulnerable, but it’s great practice even if your partner isn’t receptive. Listen well to your partner and respect their responses. Tell them the goal of the conversation is for the two of you to grow closer no matter the outcome. You both deserve healthy and enjoyable sex lives.

First start with the idea of a D/s relationship without explicit age play. I would sit her down for a conversation and ask how familiar she is with D/s and let her know you’d love to be submissive with her. Feel free to give specifics and focus on your relationship with her instead of talking about your own kinks (ex: “it would be so hot if you ordered me to eat you out” or “I think a man submitting to a woman is beautiful and I want that intimacy with you.”) Please note I am not advocating for you to lie about any of this. It needs to be honest and genuine.

If that goes well, after some time I’d introduce the term “mommy” and expose her to aspects of gentle femdom.

Then you can try some age play. If you’re big into humiliation and taboo, this is probably the time for a conversation about that too.

Then you can introduce bathroom use control or desperation teasing. If she has an aversion to bathroom activities, this is a good alternative because she doesn’t need to be directly involved. It’s just about giving the permission, she doesn’t need to be there.

If she’s made it this far with you, odds are she will be up for some diapering. I can’t promise it, but if she’s happy to do all of the above it means she’s open and explorative and getting something out of it herself.

Now, I’m going to be honest, I don’t know anyone who is interested in diapering someone else irl. It’s not even something I’m interested in doing on the regular. I’m open to it here and there, but I’m not up for a 24/7 ABDL relationship. It’s a pretty specific kink and it seems like the recipient gets way more out of it than the diaperer. Unless she expresses real interest in it, I would not push her to diaper you much. Maybe it’s a once a week funishment or something. Of course things can always grow and develop over time, but honestly I don’t recommend 24/7 anything for any real relationship.

And now for some personal opinions of mine - if you have a real, intimate, mature, loving relationship with someone who you care for deeply… that’s more important than any kink. I’ve broken up with people over kink and been broken up with over kink before. None of my kink-only relationships have been anything compared to my real relationships. Of course we all hope you can find both, I’m still hoping for that for myself some day, but a partner who’s a good match for you in all the vanilla ways is more important in my opinion.

#mommy k!nk #bd/sm mommy #domme mommy #md/lb #subby boys #gentle fdom #bd/sm advice #fdom

[bamababygirl7]

#queued #psa #important #quotes #relationships #relationship advice #d/s relationship #bd/sm relationship #bamababygirl7🥰💞 #mental health

[droolypupboy]

are you able to explain how to use soundgasm? i can’t figure it out!!!

okay so!! when you go to the search bar, what you wanna do is type the kind of audio you want

m4m: male narrator for male listener

m4f: male narrator for female listener

m4a: male narrator for androgynous listener (gender neutral terms)

f4m: female narrator for male listener

f4f: female narrator for female listener

f4a: female narrator for androgynous reader

tm & tf (transmasc & transfem) also apply to all these categories. example: tf4f

so that’s the first thing you wanna type. after that put in some keywords. those words can be specific kinks, things like “dom listener” or “dom narrator”, anything you want basically.

so your search might look like these examples: m4a sub listener begging, tm4m dom listener spanking, f4m sub narrator edging.

you don’t have to type “__ listener/narrator” because you’ll probably find what you’re looking for with a little scrolling without it but if you wanna get to the point quicker that’s what i’d recommend.

feel free to send more asks or dm me!! you can send like screenshots of what you’re looking at and i can help out if you still need some help after this. thank you for asking!!

#soundgasm #bd/sm tips #kink advice