#bc they wanna spend time w me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liquidstar · 1 month

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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silenthillbunni · 16 days

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🐌🍓

#im so sad bc i realized that my mom doesnt want to spend time w me #like every time i ask if we can watch a movie she looks so relucant nd she sighs nd says 'ugh rlly'#when i try to ask if we can take a walk or go visit a parc etc etc she looks tired nd bithered #bothered*#i didnt want to realize that but after this 'fight' bwteen my sisters nd i.. i realized it rlly #she's sick of me. she doesnt want to hang out w me. she sees it as a burden #bc why else does she do easily do things w my sisters but when i ask she doesnt want to???#it makes me rlly sad #truly no one likes spending time w me or being w me #feel so hurt :< if my own mom doesnt wanna hang out w me.... why would anyone else :(

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the-casbah-way · 9 months

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i think every university student who has a job and studies at the same time deserves everything they want forever actually

#yeah this is about me #i dont think people realise how fucking hard it is to do both and not go insane #ITS HARD ENOUGH TO DO ONE AND NOT GO INSANE #i wish uni would cut some slack to students who have to work and be more understanding w deadlines and stuff #especially bc jobs act like said job is your entire life and expect you to drop everything when an extra shift comes up #work drains me so fucking much that i just have no physical or mental energy left even back when my shifts were only four hours #how do you expect me to go to a shift then go to classes right after and then spend the evening doing mandatory reading #i rlly wanna know how other people manage it. i really dont think there *is* a way to manage it when you are neurodivergent and Sick #do not get me wrong im grateful to have a job and be able to work i just wish i didnt need to so i could focus on uni #i feel like im going to end up with a worse degree class than im actually capable of because i just cant spend the time on uni that i want

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cosmogenous · 2 months

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wow...

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agayconcept · 12 days

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#oh for fucks sake #if i have to listen to my shithead of a mother bitch and whine and moan about me being disabled one more fuckinG time i s2g #she's been going on for 20 mins abt how annoying it is that i had to go lie down for a bit bc i had a migraine and a pain flare up #which meant i guess that she didnt get to make dinner when she wanted to (i told her she could just eat w/o me like who cares)#so now she's on a rampage abt how inconvenient it is to her and how i ruin her schedule and her life all the time etc etc #and when i responded calmly w 'well what would u like me to do- snap my fingers and not be disabled anymore? u TOLD me to go lie down.'#she exploded and is like 'oh noOoo ofc not nothing is ever ur fault u just accidentally do these things'#bitch WHAT THINGS ?????#exist as disabled ??? be in so much pain i spend most of my life these days in bed ??? be unable to function to ur standards ????#do u Hear urself ??#now she's sitting on the couch pouting and fuming like a toddler bc i was in bed for 2 hours instead of 30 mins (bc too much pain to get up)#and throwing a tantrum like that is in any way normal or acceptable behaviour #'u always do this! but nooo u can do w/e u want cant u ?? u dont have to consider others!!'#ma'am...#a) no i dont have to consider others when it comes to taking care of myself and my debilitating illnesses. that's an insane thing to suggest #b) nobody told u u could not do w/e the fuck u wanted while i was out of commission. u just did this to have more to complain abt #c) ah yes bc i 'want' to be bedbound in excruciating pain. that was a choice i made. for funsies. for the bit.#whaT ?????#god someone save me im gonna lose my mind w this shit #not to mention she's also belligerently drunk so like. there's that also. cant have any proper convo bc of it (not that i wanna talk to her)#jesus fUcking chrisT #i gotta get out of here #this woman is so immensely hateful #ya sorry i ruined ur life by being born this way and now ur stuck 'putting up' w me and 'my shit' (<- actual things she has said many times)#fuuuuuck me.#anyway.#negative #ableism #verbal abuse #ask to tag

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rubberbandballqueen · 1 month

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i just think that as a chemistry major i shouldn't be forced to take biology classes that expect me to memorize the everything to pass. i need some kind of "biology for chemistry majors" where they emphasize the techniques a living thing has at its disposal to remain at homeostasis and then look at how all these parts come together to form a complex living organism undergoing constant holistic processes to remain at equilibrium. i don't need to know what a golgi apparatus is called i just need to know how it serves its function in the complex process of transforming A into B

#had to google golgi apparatus just now to know what it does (process lipids n protiens apparently) i haven't been in a bio class since 2016 #my classmates in o chem would usually conplain to me abt the bio classes forcing them to memorize a bunch of #species that fall under certain taxonomic classifications bc their specificities Would show up on the exam #n i'm just like. that is a horror show. why do i need to be able to id 36 types of mollusks.#i'm probably Also like this bc i haven't taken a bio class since 2016 unless you count high school physiology then 2018 #the worm speaks #my thoughts on academia are pretty much always 'this sucks please let me test into the very specific credentials i want'#bc academia tends to assume that the things i wanna research are the things i wanna teach but that is actually untrue #mostly bc my fave parts of chemistry are the very foundational things n what i like abt teaching it is that you have to balance #accuracy with generality so that new students don't get totally lost in the details of it all or spend too much time focused on a niche #my interest in discussing w/experts mostly extends out to 'okay tell me the new findings. ooo cool i'll incorporate that'#'good luck with your problem tho' no interest in helping out with specifics. only interested in being able to communicate knowledge #the stuff i'd have more interest in discussing and researching lie more in the arts. i do love discussing a good symbolism #probably bc i can also accept that there's never really one exact answer! like what if i do a stem research and then im just Wrong.#art and the human condition on the other hand!! let's go let us gather the Contexts and then Discuss!!!

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stinkrascal · 1 year

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hilarious how men will expect you to show an interest and participate in their hobbies but whenever youre any flavor of woman and you ask them to show an interest in your hobbies its radio silence 😀

#the way i’ll play fortnite and dnd and any other nerdy ass game they want bc i wanna spend time with them #but when im like ‘you guys do yall wanna play sdv with me 🥺’ they reject it so quickly #like yall really thought im just suddenly interested in shooters or roleplay lmfao #NO!!! i did it because yall had an interest and i wanted to be respectful!!!#like holy shit men learn how to have emotional intelligence challenge #im genuinely so mad lmfao 😭 if i dont find female or women aligned friends soon i’ll kill myself #i genuinely love my friends too i just wish they at least pretended to make an effort w my interests in the same way i do for them :’)#this isn’t about my bf btw he’s the only one who ever shows an interest in my hobbies and it makes me feel nice and special #i just wish our friends cared too :’( lmao rip #this is why i need female or afab friends!!!! if i don’t get some nice friends irl soon i think my mind will break #loneliness really is a killer y’all

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sad--tree · 2 months

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well shit. just checked out the lineup 4 bluesfest this year and i may have 2 actually brave the crowds 4 once. there might just be enough ppl id wanna see to make it worth it, altho tbh matthew good is almost enough for that on his own lol coz like. matthew good!!! that's the music of my freakin childhood man!! (*the most canadian sentiment ever)

#but also: ben howard; orville peck; charley crockett; mother mother #and of course. motley fucking crue. for some reason. i mean why not right? lol #ftr no i dont know why its called bluesfest when theres so much non-blues. they DO have blues its just. theres a lotta other stuff.#idk. perpetual mystery here in the nations capital.#i REALLYYYY wanna see matt good tho i was supposed to in 2020 and he CANCELLED instead of rescheduling like every1 else 😭#still might go to mtl in april to see him tho. festival sets are just Not the Same lbr #NOW i just gotta see if any of the artists i wanna see are on the same days..... pls..... so much more cost effective....#my whole life ive lived here and ive never been 2 bluesfest. maybe thisll be the year that changes #hmmm. $280 for a 'pick any 3 days' ticket is Not Bad At All.... definitely gonna b Pondering this further....#tho $410 for a full pass is also not terrible. relatively speaking bc tgats is still Not A Small Amount of Money #not sure the full lineup is worth that 2 me tho #HMMM #anyways hey bluesfest. why the FUCK is your website so bad my god the scrolling lag good fucking lord. what the fuck are u DOING back there #also also. on the topic of music festivals. i KNOW its not coming back but.... heavy mtl return W H E N 🥺😭🙏🔥#i just. wanna go 2 a metal music fest. w/o breaking the bank and/or subjecting myself to festival camping. which i refuse 2 try by myself.#not that we really have that sorta festival here at all but it seems the Really Big european ones are like that and uhhh.#it just seems like A Lot to do that solo. for a first time doing smth.#ANYWAYS !! still contemplating whether i want 2 spend altogether Too Much Fucking Money to see metallica and iron maiden later in the year #like on the 1 hand its A Lot Of Money plus id have to travel (edmonton 4 metallica; mtl or TO 4 maiden)#on the other hand. those guys arent gettin any younger. and the FOMO is unfortunately real af when u never know if theyre gonna retire #or like. DIE. (ok ok or like. idk break a hip or smth lol) ( they arent THAT that old just. u kno. fear.)

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dq1 · 2 months

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#hate avpd man i hate that ill never be able.to be close to people the way they would want me to #exgf literally left me also because i went through a phase of not really wanting to be touched and needing alone time bc of said avpd #like how could i ever have a relationship when i need to have my own room even in a relationship sometimes...or spend time separate #and its on and off bc sometimes i will b up someones ass but then 2 days later i need to not really talk much and be totally alone 4 a week #like idk ! i am not ! a lovable person !#back and forth from hypersexual to nearly asexual sometimes. clingy to wanting to b alone. needing my own bed and stuff #half the time I'm not even good at cuddling without getting overstimulated #qpp and i basically codependents but i dont even know if either of us have the ability to have a closer relationship than that w a partner #we r only 20s but i feel like we have practically given up #add weird spiritual beliefs i have on top of that like how could someone love me when im insane and delusional and avoidant and whatever #cant believe exgf got annoyed when i would just wanna play ovw alone or something instead of sitting in bed watching her watch yt videos #like idk i need space sometimes too im just frustrated rn omfg #like am i destined to only being ok at ldr ... but even then i dont text well when j want to be Alon #kill me omfg....... this is ridiculous

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adhdheather · 11 months

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its so fucked up that getting sick in march 2020 unlocked a cat allergy for me. like ive been suffering w that since, and rn my cat wants to spend time w me so badly but i am Not doing well

#shes so cute!! and was yelling outside of my door bc she wanted to curl up on the couch w me #im prob gonna need to leave the room soon since breathing is getting difficult. but God i wanna spend time w her #p

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the-acid-pear · 1 year

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Yall dont even know how badly down i was for this guy back in the day. Mf had me eating off the palm of his hand.

#luly talks #im pretty sure hes the main reason why im so into eyepatches in characters #at least one of the reasons at least #he was so hot AND FOR WHAT #TO SPEND HALF OF THE GAME JUST PUKING BLOOD #i remember close to nothing about this game but that scene had little kid me like sobbing and screaming and ripping my hair off #im exaggerating but not entirely im sure i cried when it looked like he was going to die #fucking okegom itself had me eating off the palm of their hand when i was a kid which #ITS BAD I KNOW LMAO but man. zany emoji but man. these silly little characters had me ON MY KNEES i swear to god #i dont actually remember if i was down as bad for anyone in wadanohara i guess. idate? and the octopus #but it was NOTHING like what me and wodahs had. or nega. although w nega it was platonic love i didnt wanna fuck that thing #i spoke of nega before the moment he died was one of the hardest blows kid me took #i mean they fucking crucified my man. they nailed him to the fucking cross. i was like 8.#my 8 year old ass did NOT need to see my at the time all time fave be fucking crucified i literally was crying so fucking hard #this sort of *grips table* way of interacting w shit did carry me to UT where when papyrus died i was like NOOOOOOOOOOO #bc i used to be a papyrus girlie yeah #part time sans girlie too i mean who wasnt back then but it was platonic never wished to fuck him #i dont remember if i didnt wanna fuck paps tho #i DO remember wanting to fuck grillby tho KFAJDHBGJH #when i got into lisa i was already too old and too normal to go as crazy anymore #no games ever managed to make me as emotional as Mogeko Castle and TGG just cuz of wodahs tho

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huntingrays · 5 months

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i wish there was like an ao3 hidden search thing where if you search for a ship, it will only show you fics if that ship is the first one listed

cause with most fics, if there’s multiple relationship tags listed, the first one is usually like the main focus of the fic

i know about the otp: true command, and it’s great, but it sucks for fandoms that often have side couples in their fics. for example, i love the bl love in the air, but i only rlly want to read sky + pai fics. however, when searching for them, there’s a lot of fics with the other main couple, or they’re a side pairing for ships with the main couple. using the otp: true command excludes so many fics

idk, i feel like it’d be usual for side relationships enjoyers in a fandom that loves shoving multiple ships in a fic

#ray rambles #just some minor venting #i wish #it’s just excausting having to scan the first ship listed #only to realize yet again that it’s the more popular couple #me w lita and kp #kp is even worse bc kc are the third most popular of the three couples #and they aren’t even canon anymore :(((#and there are a few exceptions to the first relationship tag thing but not many #I just wanna spend less time scouring man :(#so tough being a side/less popular ship enjoyer

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cosmogenous · 3 months

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life gets the best of even the toughest shawties sometimes

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redtippedcanines · 5 months

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you only do the things you do for me out of obligation