#bc it’s over my mum’s 50th birthday | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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this for subby!bucky 😵‍💫

There’s nothing hotter than a man moaning his way through a make out session and grinding his hard-on against your body, idgaf. Men moaning in general fucking floors me 😵‍💫

But I really like the thought of him starting off thinking he's in control of himself. Not necessarily in control of you, he just thinks he's pretty composed, all things considered. The featherlight kisses have his heart beating just a little faster than normal but it's manageable.

It all just gets away from him though. The tiny pecks turn into tender, deeper kisses and your hands start to wander. Those kisses inevitably develop into a kind of frantic passion that he has difficulty keeping up with. His brain goes a little foggy and nothing else matters except getting more of you and getting it now.

He loses himself in the feeling of you so entirely that he hardly notices he's been trying to ease the throbbing need in his own cock. "O-oh fuck." He groans, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, lips slick and dick twitching in his pants.

"We can go slower if this is too much for you, baby." You whisper softly, keeping your face close to his. God, he's beautiful like this and you know he'd whimper if you told him that.

"No, God. I don't need you to go slower. I need more." There's no shame in those blown out pupils when his eyes flutter open. He's not embarrassed by his own need. Instead, there's a complete trust that you'll take care of him because you always do. There's no judgement or reservation between you both because there simply doesn't need to be.

"I can do that." You laugh quietly, tugging him towards you so your lips can crash together with the exact same intensity as before and it never fails to amaze you that he melts into your touch so entirely.

You feel how hard he is and in truth, it would be difficult not to given how he's grinding it against your body with more purpose than before. His mouth is so hungry, never managing to taste enough of you and in no time, it's trailed down your neck, sucking at your skin while his frantic grind continues.

"Good boy, Buck. That's it, rub yourself silly on me." You encourage, drinking in his pathetic groan. That permission almost makes him wish he could cum in his pants.

"You're like a puppy, aren't you? So eager. You just can't help yourself." Your hand drifts downwards, rubbing over the bulge in the front of his sweatpants and you feel him absentmindedly thrusting into your touch. He's a moaning mess, babbling and begging, lost the lust that's now making the fingertips of his flesh hand tingle and his head spin.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #sub!bucky #One more minor inconvenience today #is quite possibly all it would take #for me to burst into tears #Just one #i had an idea stuck in my head all day for some angsty poetry #And I wrote it and it was even more fucking tragic than I expected #over something that I'm literally not even sad about #it just has a lot of potential to be something that someone else in the same situation might be sad about?#So idk where it all came from #And now I can’t go to something I was really excited about #bc it’s over my mum’s 50th birthday #i think I’m just going to lie in bed and not move for the rest of the night #Maybe if I lie still enough I’ll dissolve

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blacktinnedpeaches · 2 years

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it’s 9pm and this is the first time ive sad down all day to eat a proper meal ugh. i’ve just been eating an unholy amout of smarties all day lol :( ive been so busy all day and not in a way that feels satifying or rewarding just like a real slog. anyway. ive finished a few orders + will ship them out tomorrow. my new alpaca is really nice so i will make some good money w/ that when i get a chance to make some more stock wigs. need to ship out all the wigs i made last week first dfgjkfkdgjkfdjkfdjk ARGH. did post a message on my work instagram apologising for delays this week so hopefully that will suffice

spoke to my mum on the phone yest for the first time since The Incident. i had offered many times to phone but she said she didn’t want to talk about it and i am the same so i didn’t call. but we did talk via text + that was fine. she sounded ok, but sad ofc. look away now if you dont want to hear details about death:

she said he died in the early hours of sunday morning. there was a scheduled check on him at 4.30 and he was slumped over on his bed. he was still alive at this time, but he died with the staff around him. he had not wanted to die with his family watching, so this was what he wanted really. when my mum went to visit his body in the morning the staff had put his favourite film on, put a book in his arms, and had put his hat on that he always wore and my mum said that was very nice of them and that the hat - which she always found funny bc it looked like a peaky blinders hat - made her laugh. she said she really appreciated the time spent w/ his body.

death specifics over

i am feeling better today but there is still this sort of veil of melancholy... i feel like a real impostor about this bc our relationhip had obviously really deteriorated since the dementia diagnosis + i didn’t expect to feel sad at all - but here we are! i feel embarrassed about it... ugh anyway

funeral wont be as bad as i thought bc it’s actually in [town he spent most of his life in] rather than down where my parents live, which is only about an hour away from us, so i won’t have to do an overnight, just spend a few hours there and ben will be there too so im suire it will be hugely unpleasant at the time but it’s not gonna be a days-long nightmare

ben’s mum’s birthday party is on saturday + i’ve been invited but idk if i have the stomach to sit and chat for hours tbh like... ben says if im not up to going it’s fine but idk it feels mean to not go bc i think it’s his 50th. but i just want to be on my own rly not in a bad way i dont think i just dont really feel like being around other people who aren’t my top tier rships

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