#as you all see I am very active on this account totally not just posting submissions nowadays

[incorrect-quotes-the-arcana]

Nadia: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Volta: Get two more chairs.

Vlastomil: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Vulgora: Make them FIGHT for their seats!

Valerius: I would never be near children.

Valdemar: Get rid of two kids.

#submission #nadia the arcana #nadia satrinava #Volta the arcana #vlastomil #vlastomil the arcana #the arcana vulgora #the arcana valerius #valdemar the arcana #the arcana #arcana #as you all see I am very active on this account totally not just posting submissions nowadays

[sprainedwriting]

Softness within.

Adam x fem!reader

Part 1

CW/TW/Tags: Porn, Car sex, Semi Public, P in V, TW: Adam, COLLEGE AU!!!!, oral fem receiving, tell me if I missed smth, I wrote this at 2 am help me, breeding kink, pregnancy mention

Summary: Adam is either very charismatic or you don’t have a spine.

Adam ended up driving you home, after you punched in your address in his navigation system it didn’t take long for you to pass out. Shaking you awake, you scrambled out of Adam’s car, but sadly you weren’t fast enough since you still had to listen to Adam rant to you about the shit hole of a neighbourhood you live in.

He didn’t drive off till you safely entered your building.

Once you got home you didn’t even have the energy to get undressed, you barley took off your shoes and you were already in your bed. Pros of having a one bedroom apartment: the way to the bed is very short.

When you woke up everything felt like a fever dream. It felt so unreal, you were sure it was a weird sex dream coming up because of your repressed consciousness or whatever. You quickly threw away this theory, once you got into the shower. Ew. Having cold cum run down your thighs was not it.

Right so that happened. For real. Totally couldn’t potentially ruin your social life. That’s cool.

Checking your phone, you found texts messages from your friends. Since you all share locations they were happy to see you home after disappearing. Some kidnap jokes were made. You didn’t bother responding.

And just like that your life continued and you tried not to think of Adam anymore. Since you aren’t in the same friend group, don’t study the same subjects, and you’re just a master of avoiding awkward situations you didn’t see him the past 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks Adam found your insta, snapchat AND your phone number. In that order. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he found your secret AO3 account or something and started to spam you full with comments.

Him actually actively looking for you made you feel some type of way….and once those thoughts reached you, you basically slapped yourself. You have always sucked at responding to messages, your friends just call you when they need you. You didn’t even properly read Adam’s messages, leaving him on delivered. These messages caused you so much anxiety, that you immediately swiped them away in your notifications field when you saw them pop up.

Another thing you were worried about was that your period was 2 days late, which isn’t a lot considering you took Plan B and it messes with your hormones but it still had you on edge so bad. You ended up buying a pregnancy test, which you didn’t end up needing. Thank god.

The last weekend party you skipped. Sitting at home and catching up with work was how you spend your weekend. And once you saw everyone post the party on their stories and the messages in your group chats, your FOMO kicked in so hard that you had to attend the next one. So, here you were leaning against a wall with some cheap soda in your hand, because you don’t drink since you’re boring. And like always when you’re at a party, you realised you didn’t actually miss out on much.

If you could, you would scroll away at your phone. What’s stopping you? Easy:

Adam starring at you from across the room. Tots not uncomfortable. Starring at your phone now would be like throwing a rock at an sleeping ice bear. Since you basically ignored him for 2 weeks straight. You really know how stand in your own way. Some part of your brain told you not to provoke him too much.

Ok you were just going to run away this is ridiculous. Taking a good look around on how you could escape (your friends were going to murder you for disappearing AGAIN) you jumped nearly 10 feet into the air when you felt big hands on your hips and a body pressed against your back. The only logical reaction to this was to step on the guys foot and throw your drink at his face.

“Ow! What the fuck, you crazy bitch?” Adam yelled.

How the fuck was he able to get to you that fast? Without you noticing?? He’s so big what??

“Jesus, dude! You can’t sneak up on a girl like that!” You yelled back.

Thankfully not many eyes were on you guys, and the music was loud so people yelling to communicate wasn’t unusual.

Adam whipped the soda of his face, looking pissed. Thankfully there wasn’t much left in your cup anyways, the top part of his band shirt was only slightly soaked. Act cool, act casual. Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him expectantly.

Even though he looked mad a second ago, taking in the sight of you seemed to cheer him right back up. Maybe it’s because of your short skirt.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Wanna get out off here?” Shit. Goosebumps from excitement crawled all over your skin. He smelled like the sweet soda, but also like deep cologne. Ah, you’re so so weak.

“Always.” The words left your lips before you could truly think about it.

Adam smirked down at you, placing a hand at the small of your back he started to lead you out of the house party.

That’s how you ended up in Adam’s car, while he zipped around town, trying to find a secluded place, his hand was up your skirt massaging messy circles into your clothed pussy. You on the other hand were spreading your legs further apart, trying and failing to muffle your moans. Even though it was at most 2 minutes, it felt like it took Adam hours to park the car. You clawed at his wrist, trying to get more stimulation out of him.

He reached a hand under his seat, sliding it back from the wheel as far as possible, while also reclining the back of the seat.

“Holy shit, babe.” Adam mumbled out, he reached across to grasp your ass with both his hands hoisting you up and successfully into his lap. Once you sat down on his lap you could feel his bulge right under your pussy. You gave it an experimental roll of your hips. Adam bit his lower lip, his hand flew to your hips, helping you grind down on him.

Grasping at his shoulders, you smashed your own lips into his, trying to steal his breath. Fucking hell, you don’t think you have ever carnally desired anyone as much as him. Adam was still grinding your cunt unto his dick by your hips while he explored your mouth with his tongue freely.

Once the kiss stopped so you could breathe, Adam took the opportunity to rip your tights apart, to have better access towards your private parts.

“Man! Why did you do that? You better buy me new ones, asshole.” You told him frustrated.

“Chillax, baby, I will buy you even better ones if it means you let me hit.” Fucker.

Adam pushed your wet panties to the side, gently easing in a finger, “So tell me. Who else did you fuck after me?” His words were anything but gentle.

“Shit..No one. I..I swear, Adam.” You spoke through gasps. His thumb started to stroke your clit.

With his other hand Adam roughly grasped your jaw into his hand, starring into you with his golden eyes. They reminded you of that of a hawk. He didn’t look too convinced.

“Please, Adam, only you can make me cum.” You whimpered out.

Adam grinned at you at your words, “Ain’t that the truth. You better start answering your fucking messages then, slut.” Another finger was entered into your hole, he curled them upwards, hitting sensitive spots which made you moan shamelessly.

“Bad…at replying.” You mumbled out.

Adam rolled his eyes at you, “Yeah, right, give me a better excuse and I might let you cum.”

It’s not a bad excuse, it’s your reality. Even though your screentime was embarrassingly high, messages were your personal final boss. Using both your hands to run them down the sides of your thighs, your right hand met the pocket garter you wear when you’re wearing a skirt, or dress. Pulling out your phone with one brain cell intact is one thing, but unlocking it is a whole other. Pulling up the messages app, shoved the device into his face. He can read. You think. You hope.

Once he stopped grasping at your jaw so roughly, you massaged the tense muscles. Adam scrolled through your chats, he looked very interested. You caught the glimpse of a chat from last year. Yikes.

Laying your head against his shoulder, you started kissing at his neck. You still had fucking hickeys and bite marks from him! Asshole. Adam left your messages app and was investigating your social media now. He looked through your phone like a man on a mission. If you had at least half your mind you would have already stopped him. But the happier he was at your innocence the more intensely he did rub circles into your clit, turning you to mush.

Throwing your phone on the passenger seat- if it bounces off and breaks or gets lost you were going to kill him- Adam placed a hand at the back of your head, starting another forceful kiss. While your tongues were busy, Adam eased the third finger into you. He pumped them in and out of you, testing the resistance. Taking him unprepared would be a really stupid idea.

With a well placed tug of your hair, Adam pulled you slightly away from him, “It’s fucking hot babe, how you ignore other people. Really. But shit, I need you to answer my fucking messages. I’m not like those other fucking clowns you keep around. Got it?” You quickly nodded your head at him, whatever gets him inside of you.

Slowly pulling out his fingers out of you, one by one, he licked a strip up his fingers while looking into your eyes. He pulled down his jeans zippers, pulling out his leaking dick. He gave himself a few good pumps with his soiled hand. Is he not wearing any underwear?? Yikes.

“Now, sit down on my fucking dick.” Adam smirked at you.

A moment of clarity hit you when you remembered the unused pregnancy test you have hidden away.

“Wait! Do you have a condom?” You looked hopefully at Adam.

He looked at you like you just ruined Christmas, easter and his birthday all at once, “What the fuck do we need that for?”

“I’m not interested in pregnancy. Today is not safe.” You told him, you tried to sound stern.

“You would look hot as fuck though, with swollen tits and a swollen stomach. You sure you don’t want me to cream you while you’re ovulating? Besides, it went well last time, didn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you. The gold piercing was reflecting the light of the street lamp outside.

His hand were rubbing at your hips, wandering further up till he helped you take off your sweater. You didn’t bother wearing anything under it because bras suck. He smiled at the sight of your bare chest as if he just won the lottery. He really was moody.

“I’m serious! I bought a fucking pregnancy test, I was so stressed last time.” Adam didn’t even bother looking into your eyes again, his huge hand pulling and rubbing at your nipples and chest. You had to bit your lip to keep from moaning. You had to be strong, at least once. You also really needed to finish this degree without getting pregnant.

“See babe? That’s what you need my number for. So you can fucking tell me that shit.” Adam made brief eye contact with you, before he leaned forward and started sucking at your nipple. His teeth carefully bit down. Your hands tangled themselves up in Adam’s hair. Because Adam pulled you forward for easier reach, your pussy ended up rubbing across Adam’s length. The groan which left his lips made your tit vibrate deliciously.

He really knows how to play you. With his hands he grasped your ass, massaging it before he dragged you across his dick. Your clit caught at his dick piercing, causing you to call out for Adam.

And if you had half a mind, you would simply open up the car door and climb out, to really make your point clear. And Adam would drag you back in, while complaining and get a condom somewhere (hopefully). But the risk of him actually letting you leave was not something you wanted. You just really needed to have him fill you up.

Tugging at his hair, he removed his mouth from your boob. He smiled at you, “Finally ready to get dicked down, baby?” Adam asked you in that arrogant tone of his.

Your own hands wandered across Adam’s chest, till you finally tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to take it off. Adam slightly sat up, removing his shirt and throwing it on the passenger seat. Fully taking in his tan olive skin, you realised just how hot he truly is. There was a scar across his right ribcage, his nipple piercing just made him 100 times more attractive, his ample stomach made you want to straight up cannibalise him while his happy trail made your mouth water. What a man.

Grasping his cheeks into your hands, you tilted his head up so he could properly look at you. Your thumb grazed over his lips, “Adam, sweetie..” You cooed down at him. You felt his dick twitch under you, “Don’t you want me to ride you till you’re sucked dry? I can only do that if you get a condom. C’mon…” His eyes were starring into your own.

Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, removing your hands from his cheeks. His face didn’t show any ounce of emotion. Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. Before regret could fully set in, Adam started swearing under his breath. He leaned forward suddenly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth, while he rummaged through the glove department. Successfully he pulled out a condom, while probably also cursing you.

He leaned his back properly against the seat, ripping open the condom package with his teeth. Adam then glided the condom on his dick, after you scooted back to give him some space. Once he made sure everything was secured, you leaned forward to kiss him again. His hands were grasping your hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh.

Once the kiss stopped, you grasped Adam’s dick, lining it up with your pussy.

During your two week Adam break, you really told yourself that that would be a one time thing. That next time you would say no to him. That you don’t really need him or his attention and touch and whatever else he can give you. Well, you’re also a big fat liar so there is that.

Placing your own hand on Adam’s hand, you tugged it off to intervene your finger. Biting down at your lip you slowly glided down on Adam’s dick. Your other hand was placed on his shoulder, nails digged into this skin.

Slowly sliding down on him, your mouth fell open at the stretch. Adams eyes were focused on your pussy swallowing him whole, “You take me so well.” He groaned out.

Once you were fully sat down on Adam’s cock, you panted in the stuffy air. Taking a glance to your right, you saw the windows were all fogged up. At least you have the illusion of privacy.

Adam’s hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing at the fat and massaging it. He slowly rocked your hips back and forth with that movement. His other hand squeezed your intervened fingers, he then pulled your hand towards his mouth. Kissing your finger tips while looking into your eyes.

Ah. Why does everything he do make your head spin? Did he do fucking witchcraft or something on you??

Grasping with your hands both his shoulders, you started rocking your hips back and forth. First at an slow and careful speed, but then you started going faster. Till you started going properly up and down on him. Adam’s hand went to your tit, fondling and pinching, while his other hand moved from the back of your neck towards the top of your head. You stopped questioning Adam’s behaviour a while ago.

“If I knew you looked so hot on top, I would have let you ride me immediately last time.” Adam told you, his eyes were jumping all across your body, it seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look, “But damn, babe, we really need to get you on birth control.”

“S’expensive.” You mumbled out.

Your forehead meet his neck. Maybe you should exercise more, the burn in your thighs was getting intense.

“..You getting tired there, baby?” A breathy chuckle left his lips.

Adam forced your movements to stop, to sit down properly with his hand moving to your hip. He smirked at you, probably knowing he was going to give you another unforgettable experience. Why couldn’t he have been average in everything he does? Noooo, he had to blow your mind away. Damn him and his solid experience.

Adam started thrusting up into you. First at a slow and deep pace. getting you used to the sensation, then he went faster and faster. His piercing scrapped against a sensitive spot in you.

“Right there!” You gasped into his neck, you then started to kiss and suck at his skin. Leaving your own mark. His one hand was still on top of your head, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair.

Thankfully Adam is decent at following orders, he kept up his pace, hitting the spot over and over. You could feel an orgasm approaching. You were probably straight up moaning against Adam’s ear, but he doesn’t seem to complain.

“I can promise you, baby, ‘m gonna get you whatever you want as long as ya going to be my lovely cum dump.” He mumbled out.

Woah orgasms and meaningless consumption??? Your two favourite things!

All you could muster was a whine. Because that was a big commitment. Maybe you’re going to ghost him again. An extra rough thrust made you see stars, and the ghosting idea left your mind and maybe you should marry him and be a housewife and give him as many children as he wants.

You threw your head back at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and- ah, that’s why he had his hand on top of your head, when you slightly crashed your head into the car roof. It was more shock than anything else, but it still scared the orgasm out of you. Damn it.

Adam stopped his movement’s, his brows were furrowed at your scrunched up face. His hand rubbed at your head in concern, “You good?”

You nodded your head at him, looking into his eyes with your own teary ones, “..I lost my orgasm.” You mumbled out in the most pathetic voice imaginable. To your own defence, it is the worst thing to happen to you today.

Adam looked at you with a blank look for a split second, before laughing at you. You hid your own face behind your hands, embarrassment cursed through your veins. You’re stupid. Why did you say that?

With the way Adam was laughing at you, you felt his dick jump inside of you, which in turn made you clench around him. Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, yanking them down and he smiled at you like a wolf.

“Well..Who am I to say no to my favourite slut? You want to cum? I’m going to make you cum.”

Why is he so hot!!!! You were going to smash your head again into the car roof.

You already thought his pace before was intense. Now? It was brutal. The scraping of his piercing, his hands on your hips and ass, his dick stretching you apart, his stubble rubbing against your soft skin. His constant fucking talking.

“Ugh, babe, you got such a tight cunt. Squeezing me. And you say you don’t want me to cum inside? Ha. Yeah, right.” Adam started rocking your hips back and forth, your clit was rubbing against his jeans.

“‘M more surprised you haven’t got anyone pregnant with that raging breeding kink of yours.” You whimpered into his ear, then you bit into his ear lobe. That was more to be annoying than sexy, but with the way he groaned and his dick twitched inside of you it seemed like it had the opposite effect.

You really would have missed his words, if you weren’t paying attention enough,

“You the only one I wanna get pregnant. Those other whores don’t deserve to have my cum.”

Why do you feel flattered….Something is really, deeply off about you. You need to up your medication.

It felt like hot flames were pooling in your lower stomach, you felt intense, near painful tingles on your clit and thanks to Adam’s constant rhythm of your clit rubbing against the rough fabric of his jeans it wasn’t a surprise that an orgasm washed over you. Your nails dug into Adam’s biceps while you squeezed around his cock.

“Fucking hell, you wanna milk me dry, huh?” Adam groaned, and with a few hip thrust of his own he came. You kinda missed the feeling of his hot cum shooting into you, but you would take that knowledge to your grave.

You rested your face into the crook of Adam’s neck, trying to regulate your breathing. Your legs felt like jelly. Adam was also breathing heavily, his hands rubbed up and down on your back. He stayed inside of you.

Realistically you knew that he had to pull out, to keep the contraceptive working but on the other hand..You just wanted to stay like that. Having Adam not talk for once was a relaxing change. And having his big warm hands on your back, which was starting to cool down, was just pure bliss.

“..You know, we could always do the pull out method.” He mured into your ear, trying to sound seductive.

You couldn’t help but snort at his words, “Yeah, sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you could pull out of this.” You lifted up your one knee, your skirt was lifted up by it and it gave Adam a clear view of your filled up pussy.

Adam couldn’t even look you in the eyes too mesmerised apparently by the sight, it was emphasised by Adam’s dick coming back to life again, twiching and growing inside of you.

“..Shit, you’re right.” Adam grasped your waist and lifted you off off him. He removed the condom, tied it up and threw it somewhere carelessly on the backseat floor. Yikes again.

He rubbed at his chin, probably thinking of what to do next with you. With a hot flash across your body you remembered his promise from last time. Thinking of it, you could fit on the floor in between his legs. Maybe. It would be uncomfortable but you also seemingly have no self respect so what does that matter?

“Get in the back seat.” Adam told you, you nodded at his words. Ok. You can crawl over there. Adam gave a light slap to your ass and chuckled at your surprised gasp. Successfully making it back there, you made sure not to step on the discarded condom. Why is he like that?

Adam grabbed another condom, since he was too big for anything really, he couldn’t crawl back there like you. Instead, he used the doors, like a normal person. Couldn’t be you.

Your head was against the window, and when Adam opened the door car door and crawled onto the seat and flashed that smirk of his you knew you were a goner. Out of seemingly instinct your legs slightly opened. Adam closed the door behind him- yay to the illusion of privacy!- and then he grabbed your ankle and tugged your roughly towards him.

A surprised gasp left your lips, you were laid down now, with Adam towering over you. He once again secured the condom, then he bent down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping he secured against you. His left arm was supporting his weight against the seat, caging you in, while the other hand was sensually moving from your stomach towards your pussy. He drew patterns into your pubes which made you squirm uncomfortably. Maybe you should start shaving. He then rubbed his thick fingers across your slit, probably checking if you were still wet enough for him. He grazed your clit and it made your whole body jolt.

“Every time a girl shaves her pussy an angel dies. I swear on it.” Adam mumbled out. If those words were meant for only him or if he noticed you being uncomfortable, you didn’t known. But it made you feel somewhat more comfortable.

Adam lined up his super duper magic dick against your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You wrapped your one leg around him, since the other was squished between his body and the seats.

With slow and deep thrusts Adam rocked against you, now you realised how much the car must have moved. The pleasure was building slowly but surely. Adam was quite for once. Pussy so good it shut Adam up?? You’re sure you can put that on your resume.

You wrapped your hand around Adam’s bicep, to steady yourself. You squeezed the soft flesh, looking mesmerised at his big arms. He smiled down at you and flexed his muscles, making them rock hard. You squeezed again and swore under your breath. At this display you remembered actual strong men, and how fat is needed for muscles to be functional and you remembered seeing Adam carrying 2 heavy ass amplifiers on his shoulders as if that was nothing and oh. You need him. Badly. Thankfully you have him.

Using your one hand which was at the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you. Teeth clashing and tongues dancing and spit getting everywhere. It was all consuming and still not enough.

Once the kiss ended, Adam rested his own forehead against yours. You worried for his neck and the constant way he has to twist and bend it to reach you. You gazed into each others eyes, mouths panting into each other and the street light from outside let warm light flow in. It felt like you couldn’t avoid Adam, he was wrapped over you, completely covering you from every angle and he was inside of you, throbbing and twitching. You were breathing in the same air. And you didn’t want him to leave, if you could you would capture this moment and stay here forever.

Why does this feel romantic?

It seemed like you weren’t the only one who thought that, since Adam straighten his back suddenly, as if he forgot what you are to him.

When you looked up into his endless eyes, he was slightly frowning, but that expression changed as soon as it came. Maybe you imagined it.

He grabbed your face roughly and forced your mouth to open wide for him. You let your tongue roll, and rubbed his thumb against it. Hot. He removed his tongue only to spit into your mouth. That’s also hot??

You closed your mouth to swallow his spit.

He seemed rather satisfied with that. He sped up the pace, skin slapping against skin and your moans and gasp and his grunts and string of loosely connected words which you weren’t paying attention to left his mouth. His smug face kind of pissed you off, so you reached out and twisted his pierced nipple.

Adam stifled his own moan by biting down on his lip. But the pleasure he felt from that, he couldn’t hide from you.

And once Adam came, he bit down on your neck. Great! More marks you will have to hide. Ughhh.

The way Adam immediately slowly pulled out of you surprised you. He seemed to enjoy staying in as long as possible. Your brain was a bit to slow to catch up with Adam’s movement. His face disappeared between your thighs, under your skirt and ah-

“Wait. You don’t have to…” Your sentence was interrupted by your own moan.

Adam’s lips latched around your clit and he sucked. Hard.

Overstimulation immediately cursed through your veins, your fingers found themselves at home in Adam’s hair and you tugged. Nails massaging Adam’s scalp, this is probably what heaven felt like.

His tongue traced idle patterns into your clit. Probably spelling his own name again…Asshole. But since you were already close when Adam was fucking into you romantic missionary style, you came with a sob and your body curled into itself. You tugged Adam away from your overstimulated hole. The fact that you were clenching around nothing made you a bit sad.

“If I ever say no to fucking you, honey pot, I need you to take me out the back and shoot me in the head.” Adam told you matter of fact.

You dumbly nodded at his words. Whatever he wants he can get. Genuinely.

“How are you so good at everything?” Your already barley existent filter was gone now in a post orgasmic haze.

Adam laughed at you, “What can I say, I’m a real pussy pleaser.” He sat properly up in the seat, tugging everything away properly. He must have thrown the condom away when your brain was still mush. Reaching over he grasped your arm and dragged you into his lap.

Once you rested your face against your shoulder, bare skin against bare skin and the heat radiating from his body you felt sleep over come you. Adam grasped your shoulders and shook you awake. Literally. You thought you were going to fall on the nasty floor where your guys used condoms laid around. At least the only condoms there were yours?

“You fallin' asleep on me again, baby?”

“Yes. So. Silence, m’tired.” You barley mumbled out. Throwing your head into Adam’s neck again.

“Get back to the passenger seat, slut. I’m driving you home.”

Groaning as if Adam just killed you, you crawled to the front again. There you also put your sweater back on and pocketed your phone. Your keys were also safe with you. That’s good, you love not being locked out. You adjusted your panties while you were at it.

Resting your head against the window, you closed your eyes again while Adam got back into the drivers seat. Turning on the engine, he started driving towards your home.

Since you were half asleep, it felt like it took a second for Adam to arrive in front of your apartment complex. You mumbled out a tired ‘Thanks for the ride.’ and climbed out of the seat.

“You know usu-“

You slammed the door shut before Adam could finish that sentence. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear him. Simply walking towards the entrance, you opened the door and opened it fully by pressing your side against it. You couldn’t care less about the usual. The less you knew of other girls the happier you are.

You looked back at the car, to at least wave Adam bye or something, but when you saw him slam his head against the wheel you stopped in your tracks. You watched the display of his frustration for a few seconds, he then raised his head, probably to check if you got in safely. He froze in horror when he realised you saw that.

Truth be told, you didn’t think Adam was capable of embarrassment. But here he was.

Holding eye contact for a painful second, you simply shook your head and quickly got inside. Walking up the stairs towards your apartment, you unlocked the door, threw off your shoes and collapsed into your bed.

———————————-

Since you usually keep your word, you started texting Adam back whenever you could. At least that seemed to make him happy. You think. It’s hard to tell over text. You also made an appointment with your obgyn, or as Adam called it your ‘Pussy doctor’. You’re close to blocking him.

On Monday, you walked with your friend towards her car in the uni parking lot. You were going to meet up with your other friends for lunch.

Of course Adam was also there, his car parked right across your friend. Gahh. His band members were with him, he just unlocked the car when everyone tumbled in. You could hear your ex call out, “Dude, what the fuck?! Are those used condoms!?”

You were going to kill Adam and then yourself. WAS HE WINKING AT YOU?? He’s dead. Thankfully no one noticed.

Your friend made a face at that info being yelled out across the parking lot, she unlocked her own car and got in. You didn’t hear more from the exchange, but from the way Adam looked happy you knew he was taunting your ex.

Your friend fastened her seatbelt, “I don’t get how anyone can fuck Adam. Like, he’s so disgusting, disrespectful, misogynistic..”

Biting at your lip, you already knew your friends would be mad at you if they found out about you and Adam from someone else besides you. Looking around the car, to make sure the windows were really closed, you took a deep breath.

Adam was in his own car, signalling to her that she has the right of way. She made a quick thank-you-wave and was about to back out of the parking space.

“I did.”

She slammed into the breaks, causing you to be catapulted forwards. The way she starred at you without saying anything, made you uncomfortable. She was speed running all the stages of grief, you could clearly see that. She sighed heavily, like the whole world was resting on her shoulders with your confession.

“……..Is he really that big?”

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[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

#personal #this is very long but please read it maybe? #emma rambles #I will reblog it a few times probably

[tdalejandro]

Hey. Serious post. Trigger warning for sexualization of minors.

Yes. This is about Scepterno. Of course it's about Scepterno. I am not going to censor his name, because everyone should know what is going on with him.

He has responded to my post about him, where I said he was actively talking about Alenoah nsfw. I am going to respond to that.

Let's talk!

"i have seen the Posts and im laughing very hard HAHAH not only is Noah a fictional character, he is canonically 19 in the show. and is around my age. even if he werent.... i dont care. cuz he's fake. i can do whatever i want to him because hes not real. yall need to go outside and find some real problems to talk about. this is just plain sad !!!"

This is a serious issue. You want to know why? Because it has been proven multiple times that fiction DOES in fact affect reality. This is a very serious issue. The Total Drama Fandom has a lot of kids in it. Total Drama is a show for children. Children can find your very public blog, see you talking on public about alenoah nsfw, and they will normalize it. You wanna know how I know this? Because I've experienced this myself! Children stumble upon things that they're not supposed to see! You are coming into a space that is filled with minors, because this is a TV show for CHILDREN, and you are talking about these minors characters in a way that is messed up. I am scared for the minors that will see your post.

"PLEASE. guys. please. grow up. im begging you to stop worrying about the imaginary rights of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. genuinely. for you own mental health. please find real issues to worry about in life. have fun. stop torturing yourself with drama that doesnt matter. at all. youre going to make fandom an absolutely miserable place if all you do is scream and tantrum over what other people do with what are essentially TOYS"

I am worried about the the fucking children. About the VERY REAL children. And you know what? "Stop torturing yourself with drama that doesnt matter." Then why even address it in the first place? If it doesn't matter, why make a long angry post about it? Fandom is supposed to be a fun place. Fandom is supposed to be where you go and talk about your favorite show and post little things that you think about the media. Me "screaming" and throwing a "tantrum" is because you are coming into this space and making it a nasty place to be. Minors are not safe with you in the space.

"you do not care about morality you care about getting attention and feeling more powerful by bringing others down."

Here's my take. People have immoral thoughts about things. That's part of being human. But when you act on said thoughts, and post about it on the internet on your very public blog where everyone can see when they look you up, and you don't even have it tagged or anywhere stated on your blog that you don't want minors following, that's the part that I am shaming. There is something wrong with you for you to post something like that, and not even try to hide it from minor's eyes. I care about the people in this fandom. I am trying to keep people safe from people like you.

And now, the tags.

"I draw [noah] short because size difference is sexy and noah has short king energy."

Height headcanons are fine. But the fact that you are brining size difference into this? A kink? Yes, you are an adult, I'm a fucking adult. We have things that we are into, but you bringing it into this space where children are, that's where the problem is. You are not tagging it, you are posting it on your very popular and public account, where I do not doubt for a second that minors follow you.

"I want you to really self reflect on why your so quick to see a gay man and call him a predator"

I DIDNT EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOU WERE GAY.

I am gay myself. I am not calling your a predator for you being gay. I NEVER FUCKING SAID THAT. I am calling you a creep for fucking talking about alenoah nsfw! I am calling you a creep for drawing nsfw of minors! I am calling you a creep for drawing incest art! Using this "It's because I'm gay" defense, it doesn't fucking make sense! No where have I ever said you're weird because you're gay. You are a fucking creep for talking about alenoah like that.

I am begging everyone to unfollow, block, and get this person off the platform. They are not welcomed here.

#total drama #td alejandro #td noah

[goldenhickeysandramen]

📢🔊🎤🎶 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎹and 5 takeaways from the past months

THIS IS A LONG POST.... 

Oh my Gosh! What an afternoon of excitement!

Apparently Jimin changed for nanoseconds(?) his profile picture and posted one of JK 

Too bad the account didn't record a video..... If there is only one person as a testimonial, let me be a bit skeptical. 🤨

But who knows... maybe Jimin was playing with Jk, as this latter did on April 28th.

https://twitter.com/jkfl6wer/status/1640512226829189122?s=20

Also emerging on twitter are the constant cacophonies heard in Jimin's last vlive....LOL

https://twitter.com/jeje_machi/status/1645017065609388032?s=20

I take these things with a grain of salt, because they always happen... there’s always someone in tiktok who hear voices in Jimin's and JK's vlives 🤣 

BUT

I do think they were together the night of Like Crazy's BB100, because all the k-army accounts (I follow) perfectly hear, at the beginning of the vlive, a "go quickly" with a busanese accent. That can't be a coincidence, nor a general delulu mode! 

In any case, I'm here to celebrate Jikook's love fest of this past month.

📢🔉🔊🎤🎶🎵 LOVE IS IN THE AIR... 🎙🎷🎺🎸🎻🎹

I have to admit that there was a time when I didn't understand why the hell we didn't know anything about Jikook.😫

Those who wait are in despair. And if I'm the one who waits (while quitting smoking), it's even worse, because I'm (above all) IMPATIENT! hahaha. I missed jikook a lot and I was in a total skeptical phase.

Don't scold me, I am not insecure, I like to be objective and critical. And there were things from these months that just made me wonder if everything was okay... I'm not going to go into them, because there’s no need. But I am going to share with you some of my lessons or takeaways from these months of CHAPTER 2 and that now, with more perspective, I can share, in case it helps anyone for next months.

1. The members who interact the most are the ones who are promoting at the time. 

I don't expect to see others in official content, unless they have something to promote. I guess it's marketing strategy. Just compare how Suga has reacted to other albums on socmed, with how he has been more involved in Jimin's, because he came next. 

The only exception is Hobi who is constant. Our dear sunshine..💜

But as I could see, if we want to see the rest, it's up to them.

2. This brings me to the next point: JIKOOK has chosen to show us that they are still there as usual, but without the exposure. 

Let's cry in chorus! 😭😭❤❤

JK wanted to support Jimin and for us to see him. And he wanted it to be something special, dammit! And so it has been!

I melt with him and everything he has done so far: from saying how great the Set me free Pt2 MV was going to be, to playing the chords of Letter, and the vlive reaction to Suchita and Jimin's best moments unbothered.

Plus the next morning reacting to Jimin’s live LOL

And Jimin has always been active in JK's vlives, whenever he could, with some very memorable lines 

3. What we don't see is almost EVERYTHING. And what we can see depends on many external factors. 

Thanks to the editors we could see JK visiting Jimin. It looks like they were together for only 5 seconds, but we know that was not the case.

if they even said goodbye in two different positions LOL

On the other hand, Letter was not recorded remotely, nor did JK teach himself to play it on guitar on youtube, like he learned to make sushi on ITS. 

This would be a point for non-jikookers who believe that jikook has not seen e/o for months.... but, I write it as a reminder for everyone, but especially for ME. 

What we see in recorded content is Hybe's choice. The rest is either shown to us by them or we have to assume it by applying common sense.

On the other hand, does anyone expect jikook to plug in a vlive when they're at home together watching The Notebook for the umpteenth time? I don't... Which brings me to the next point...

4. Army is always a support to Jungkook

I really believe that when he has been feeling very bored, alone or melancholic, we have been a help to him. Maybe he needed a rest, but at some point the inactivity has taken its toll on him, given that he didn't have his precious people around him.

In particular, I am happy to see him in his new role as CK ambassador and to see him travelling and active, at least until he enters the more intense work phase of his future projects.

So when I've seen Tae at his home, or with him at concerts, far from worrying about the cults's reaction (Who cares!!), I've been glad he was getting him out of the Mikrokosmos cave, because JK is an introvert and his comfort zone isn't exactly socialising.

[How I feel about Tae and his vlives and name dropping at certain times is another matter. But I have no doubt that Tae loves him and has made it a point to take him out bowling or to concerts]

5. Perhaps most controversial, but most obvious.....JIKOOK don't officially live together and that's what we're going to see from here until they leave for military service. So it's best not to give too much thought to the issue of houses.

But there is a very big obviousness to this issue. JK lives in a house rented by Hybe, with furniture from the dorms and barely decorated (althoug full of underwear 😁), as if he can't rent a house while his mansion in Itaewoon is being built...LOL! It's a joke! (and by this I mean that perhaps he spends part of his time elsewhere 😏).

If jikook is an established couple, as many of us think, we will always have to bear in mind is that they cant fulfil everything we would see in a long-term couple, like living together in one house 24/7/365, for obvious reasons, but basically because they are hidden couple and they’re also chased (especially Jungkook, who has a lot of sasaengs behind him).

And this is basically my main takeaways.... I'm sure I have more lessons learnt.... but I don't remember them now.... or I'm tired of writing.... maybe it's the latter ;)

I purple you 💜

#jikook kookmin #mingguk #jikook

[lizaluvsthis]

I got a question again- (sorry if I bother ya-) do you hyperfixation about other thing beside smg4? Like what else do you like beside smg4

Thats fine I don't bother, thats also the reason why my askbox is always available <33

I AM still in the Spongebob Fandom and also Lego Monkie Kid. But besides any other fandoms? Nah-

If anyone here is wondering I'd be in TADC or Murder Drones. The simple answer I have on that is, no. I'm not in the fandoms but I do like watching the videos/animations.

In the fandom SpongeBob SquarePants, @flaray25 "@/Gaming_MusicOn" - WATTPAD

I used to have a big hyperfixation about a certain ship (SquidBob) that I TOTALLY didn't make a presentation about their dynamic/relationship with each other.

Made a BUNCH of arts/comics/fanfics of the two gay creatures... in what reason? FOR GIVING ME IDEAS FROM THEIR DYNAMIC AS THE OPTIMISSTIC/PESSIMISTIC SUN/MOON. I CRY AND BLEED FOR IT.

Ahem- in any other reasons, this ship changed my life FOREVER. As in like EVER AT ALL. I made like 20+ comics in traditional with 200 pages with my ugly ass artstyle. And in Digital with 23 separate comics and maybe about 80+ pages? Im not quite sure.

I published 20 stories (OLD FICS) that were about the ship and 2 stories (18 if separate) as two different ships

It was fun staying. I loved staying there until it got a bit toxic from my space in a personal issue.

But I'm good now ^^ just don't draw alot of it nowadays.

I'm also in the fandom called "The Lego Monkie Kid"

- TIKTOK ACCOUNT - @ray-is-they "@/Ray_is_They" Princex of SpicyNoodles

I'm pretty sure if people stayed here you guys know about a certain yellow lemon character of someone. DerpLee.

They motivated me to go watch the season. And so I did. I binge watched the WHOLE SEASONS.

It was great! It was very catchy and nonetheless the animations are pretty impressive! So smooth and perfect! I joined in right after there was a shipping dynamic of Enemies to Lovers. (AKA MK and RedSon = SpicyNoodlesShipping)

I've had SO- MANY... content creations from the ship of SpicyNoodles BACK WHEN TIKTOK was the mostly place I hang around. I got a bit influenced ever since I hear audios that give out their vibes and thats where I started a lil bit of animation even tho it was a bit lazy-

I had 2 published works of the ship from wattpad because... IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO CREATE IT?

I hundred percent sure that I hyperfixated about their whole relationship with eachother. Yes.

I kind of well abandoned the channel now so uhh yeaaaaaaa???????? (I made it to 4k followers but didnt made a special animatic about it I'm so lovely.)

But I still do observe and keep notified on what would be the upcoming season 5 will be... I'll stay on TUNED for that once it releases...

And so you have these two :33 cough. But now that I have this account now, I am no longer active much working with two so I RARELY post there anymore. (I'd have to apologize for the people I promised making an animatic for... aaaaaa-)

And yes. I do notice my followers are also a fan of lmk I see it. (I LOVE MEI-)

#lizaluv #squidbob #spicynoodleshipping

[behindthewox]

Hello, Andrew here. This blog article was sent to me and I can assure you that this is not correct information but a reaction likely of those who were involved. This information likely stems from previous MoM or HM themselves, I guess, seeing that they have been banned properly recently (which I am only stating because you already stated it yourself, otherwise I would not give away who is or is not banned)

When I took over I made it very clear in an NB post that the harrassment of users, witch hunt on site, and generally toxic and disrespectful behaviour needs to stop. Everyone is more than welcome to share opinions, but this was not that, this was simply insanely rude behaviour that was based on wrong information given by the MoM/HM to the other leaders of WoP, who then compiled their letter. Which is also the reason why after all of this these other site leaders were put back into their positions after everything was cleared up.

I have banned a total of 4 people from 800-900 actives at the time for continuing their disrespectful behaviour and outright slandering (one of them later on) despite my very clear warning in the article (I was surprised that it was only so few, but almost everyone was just glad to be able to enjoy the website again). I also made an effort to respond to each single comment transparently and open minded. Many of the people who removed content or joined that group hype have talked to me, told me their opinions, and gave me the opportunity to work on their missing trust together. I am on good terms with almost all of the old staff with maybe 5 exceptions (MoM, HM for being the reason this went down and one old staff on bad terms; the other two people I am neutral towards as I never spoke with them and don't know their thoughts) Every old staff member who reached out to me has their own experiences and opinioms and don't always agree with me, but they are more than valued and often play important roles in our staff as well - whether student or grad. In fact, I really enjoyed every single talk with them and appreciate anyone who reached out despite their fear of rejection, as that takes a lot of courage

The old MoM and HM were banned later on, yes, you can feel free to ask them for the exact reason I put in. The previous behaviour of theirs is unwelcome on site, and they created a horrible environment for people at the time this happened, just because of a "money grabbing" feature that was completely changed back anyway for other reasons. One of them was still logging in on alt for reasons I don't really understand, because they made sure everyone knew their hate towards Dan and the site. So why log in almost regularly even after almost a year? I guess I know why ,but that is just an assumption, so I will not voice it here

Aside from that, if you paid attention to the site development, you would also see that since then (but not because of that), new users got free VIP, people with jobs get discount, linking accounts gets a whole 50% discount, and such

I am mostly replying to clear some things up because I don't enjoy reactions that are based on false facts. I wanted to stay on WoP US as a temporary solution, but the community has been loving and welcoming, which was really unexpected considering the circumstances they went through

This is something that happened almost a whole year ago now, I even unbanned one of the 4 bans that took place when I took over, so technically it is only 3

I hope that this could clear up confusion and misunderstanding. I would like to see this message public because I am mostly writing it for the very few that might end up seeing it. Considering the nature of this post, you already made up your mind about me and that is okay. But I want to give my insight first hand, as I don't enjoy someone trying to slander my name based on more accusations of those people who were banned for false accusations in the first place

Magical regards,

Andrew Sutherland (WoP US)

By the way, I am only asking this anonymously because of privacy concerns regarding this account (never use Tumblr anyway)

Added in a later message: "Andrew here again, please add this xD I saw that you have made clarifications regarding there possibly being more to these accusations, my response was mainly aimed towards the person asking the question, but I do admit that I thought that that message was originally from you, the blog writer, and only saw your response later on (I am not used to tumblr and on phone it doesnt show all on one screen, oops). Just wanted to clarify that as it may explain some wording of mine!"

No hard feelings on my side, thanks for the clarification! If I can share both sides of the story, that is what I want to do and you've allowed me to share yours. It's greatly appreciated and I hope this clears the air a little bit.

NOTE: I can't verify if this person is who they say they are, the anonymous submissions are anonymous to me as well. I have no reason to doubt or suspect that it's someone else writing in their name, but I want to note that with anonymity there is a risk of abuse and impersonation. I don't think that's the case here though.

#wox #wox site

[jeffsinnbythesea]

A post by @queerly-autistic got me thinking (thinking, thinking and drinking) about the main symbols representing the various personas Ed adopts in seasons 1 and 2. The way Ed yo-yos back and forth between rejecting and embracing things like the eponymous black beard, the leathers, etc. tells us a lot about Ed's relationship with his own identity at a given point in time, and more broadly, how his views on what people generally can and can't do, and who they can and can't be evolves over time, in fits and starts.

We get the sense early on that Ed's worldview is that people don't change and their path in life is more or less set. His mother tells him early on, "Well, it's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. He decides who gets what. We're just not those kind of people. We never will be." He learns about the Gentleman Pirate, a total oxymoron, and he's immediately fascinated. It knocks his socks off, it shakes his worldview, in which he is Blackbeard - just look at his black beard, and his leather getup, and his gun, etc.

Ed's very first act on the Revenge is to ditch those clothes and parade around in Stede's instead. The very next episode he's wearing Stede's clothes again but now he's Jeff The Accountant. However, each and every time he does this, he gets rebuffed. By Izzy, who tells him to knock it off, get real, and then by the French, who gas him up initially only to ridicule him in the end. Each time he resets back to his Blackbeard persona, back in the leathers, even though we know explicitly that he's totally over this routine. He wants to pack it all in, retire. And it isn't just because he's bored, though that is part of it. When he chooses the scariest story he can think of, he tells the Blackbeard origin story of killing his own dad. He knows Blackbeard isn't a Good Guy. But he already adores Stede - just ask Izzy. How could Stede like him, a murderer, a Bad Guy? But Stede says, actually I quite like you as you are, and you aren't a bad person. Ed feels seen and accepted in a way he probably never has in his life, or at least since becoming Blackbeard.

Calico Jack shows up as this interloper on the Revenge and Jack and Stede's characters clash so much that Ed figures, hey, this little adventure sure has been fun, but it turns out at the end of the day: "This is who I am, Stede. Can you see me now? You were always gonna realize what I am." That whole scene with the tub, and everything since, must have been a fluke. He thought he was being seen and accepted beyond the persona - the good and the bad all at once - but evidently not.

Fast forward to the Act of Grace. Unequivocally Ed makes this sacrifice for Stede, but outwardly at least, he takes everything in stride, especially compared to Stede. I'm not sure you can say that he shaves the beard for Stede.He says, "Now, it's time to accept our fate. Besides, kind of comforting, really, once you get your mind around it." He's folding socks, he's excited about soap! I think this is a man who is deeply relieved to be "forced" into doing the thing that he actually wants to do. Jumping forward, is that not what was going on with the whole end of s2e2 suicide-by-mutiny thing? The show has been telling us all season that Ed doesn't care about Being Blackbeard, he actively wants to stop being Blackbeard, but fundamentally doesn't believe there are alternatives, a belief reinforced because both times he dropped the Blackbeard persona for something else (haha, jokingly, but were they really?), it ended poorly.

Stede hasn't picked up on this and these factors come together and create this tragic scenario where Stede is mourning the end of the beard (the extremely obvious symbol for Blackbeard) because he thinks Ed has lost something integral to who he is, that he's in fact been ruined by Stede, while Ed comes to think that Stede is mourning the end of Blackbeard the myth, the legend, the celebrity, and perhaps he never wanted Edward at all, as pointed out by @queerly-autistic. I'm reminded of the Rita Hayworth quote that gets to that same feeling Ed probably has here: "Men go to bed with Gilda but wake up with me."

Ed goes back to the Revenge alone, heart shattered, but he doesn't immediately go "Well, Blackbeard's back! Business as usual!" Like Erin says, he escapes it briefly. He's got his hair down, he's wearing the robe, he's probably getting into a skincare routine. He says, "Actually, I do want to be called Edward from now on" and "Why are we even being pirates?" The scene with Izzy confronting him in the cabin after this is supposed to be horrible and uncomfortable to watch. It is violent and cutting and things spiral from this point through the end of s2e2. Ed has tried to shed or replace the Blackbeard persona numerous times over the season and each and every time he is rebuked by Izzy and his crew, by the rich jerks, and even by Stede. This final attempt to just be Ed rather than Blackbeard even comes with a threat on his life.

Backed into a corner, still in immense emotional pain from Stede's rejection, and having his deterministic worldview confirmed again and again, is it any wonder Ed reverts to this worst iteration of Blackbeard, the Kraken? Why would he try something different when all of his experiences thus far tell him that it's futile? If Ed feels that way in his middle age, who knows how many times over the course of his life he might have tried and failed, or more likely, saw others try and fail for a different life, a better life? He tells us in both seasons that they're pirates - most of them are dead. As her post says, the Kraken armour is about survival, physically and emotionally, and it's about despair. He can try again and again to break free but it always. Comes back. To this. The only real escape is death. S1e10 is the beginning of the spiral that has a, I'm not sure goal is the right word, but all these acts of violence and destruction against himself and others are leading to his death and he knows this.

Jumping to the end of Fun and Games, Ed sums up his worldview very succinctly, in that resigned tone: "Buttons, people don't change, not into birds or otherwise."

And then Buttons changes! Dramatically! Ed changes, clothing at least. I think this was a really interesting choice by the show - to indirectly convey how the crew is feeling towards Ed by targeting the thing most symbolic of Blackbeard-turned-Kraken now that the black beard isn't really an option to take out of the picture and his face is washed clean. As for the cat bell, well we don't have time to delve into that. I can't help but observe that once again this is "forced" against his will, but is it? Ed probably certainly wouldn't choose to wear the Contrition Era sack, if nothing else it looks itchy, but I don't think he's moaning about not having the leathers.When they let him out of the sack, he puts on Buttons old clothes, not his own.

S2 is one big identity crisis for Ed. The guy essentially died. There's no going back to Blackbeard. That persona was one he was miserably tired of, but now it's well and truly poisoned by its evolution into the Kraken. Not to mention the trauma he feels from it, trauma from decades of piracy, from the violence done to him and by him. With the leathers put aside for now, other vestiges of the Kraken era are dealt with. The Guilt/Gilt Room is transformed into a celebration for the crew, a sort of apology and an opportunity to show the crew and Ed reconcile. Ned Low comes back as the final nasty nail in the coffin that he resolves to leave it all behind. The leathers are dumped overboard and Ed says good riddance to them, and good riddance to Blackbeard, and good riddance to that life. Burdened with the old trauma, and now the fresh trauma of Ed and Stede almost getting killed by this lifestyle again, Ed sticks to his guns and commits to leaving. Yes, it is impulsive and a bit cowardly, but the motivations behind it make sense. He and Stede haven't graduated to Communication University yet and are still working out the kinks there.

A lot has been said about Ed later diving in to retrieve those leathers and going on a bit of a rampage against the navy dudes. "The music, the costume, he clearly regressed back into the Kraken!" "The show is saying that being Blackbeard and piracy is the only thing he's good at!" On the surface, it might seem like yet again the universe is confirming Ed's original deterministic worldview that people don't change, that he's chained to this life. I choose to interpret this differently. For one, there is extremely little airtime given to the Ed scenes between dumping the leathers and retrieving them and I think the storytelling would have benefited from more, obvs. Bear with me on this part, but I think this is where the show says, you know what? Symbols-schmymbols. The beard, the leathers, the name, none of those things are what make Blackbeard Blackbeard, or the Kraken the Kraken. As people, we are not the clothing we wear. We are our actions. Ed can put on the leathers or the sack or a tutu for all I care but his actions are what define who he is.

"If you were ever good at anything, go and do that." Ed doesn't take this to mean go back to the worst version of yourself that you hate, it means loving and protecting Stede and the crew. Going with the moral system established in the show's universe, killing bad people might saddle you with trauma but it doesn't make you a monster, particularly when it's in service of the ones you love. Stede's parting words to him were that he's a coward. He is choosing to not be a coward. And that means not running away from Stede, or away from the British, or off to China, or from himself anymore. You can't run away from yourself. Wherever You Go, There You Are, right?

Essentially, he goes from:

I can't change. Nobody can change.

to:

Maybe I can change...but only if Blackbeard dies and all his symbols are dumped overboard. But subtract Blackbeard from Ed, and what's even left? And who would care about that guy?

to:

I am Edward and Blackbeard and the Kraken and the sum of all my past selves, and they all did good things and they all did bad things. That doesn't mean that I'm not capable of loving others or myself, or that I'm not lovable. Sometimes the things you hate about yourself can be spun into something good - poison into positivity

What you end up with is a complex and even contradictory person, but a whole person. He can reclaim his clothes, he can sport a beard, albeit much shorter and salt and pepper-y, and he can reclaim, or at least he's now free to create a sense of self, secure in the knowledge that he isn't alone. There are people waiting for him, and they're not having second thoughts.

"They love you, Ed. Just be Ed."

#I can't say what direction they will go with hair costume or anything else next #yes im saying will instead of would have idc #but I'm sure it will be a fascinating continuation of the established connection it all has with Ed's identity #I'd love them to blend new and old elements not to mention his and stedes closets #jfc i never have ANYTHING to say but when i do its seventy billion words long #im sure all of this has been well discussed already but its fine #ofmd meta #our flag means death

[finnlongman]

Genuinely on the verge of deleting my Twitter account and I'm really sad about it. I've been on that site since 2009 (longer than I've been on Tumblr!); I remember when you couldn't retweet except manually and pictures had to be uploaded to TweetPic rather than directly. It remains my main connection to the academic world, and although many writers I'm friends with are active on Instagram as well, I find that a far less accessible platform, so it's my main connection to the book world too.

Mostly, though, I'm frustrated at the idea of having to scrub 14 years of my posts because a pathetic manchild has decided they're his to do what he likes with, and despite all my settings revoking consent for third-party use, I am in fact unable to stop him using them to train AI if he wants to (among other things). I don't want to delete all my weird nerdy threads and random An Táin Bot commentary; screenshots just aren't the same. But I'm also not down with my work and my words being used without credit or compensation, and I feel like I've hit the point where I don't want to stay there anymore.

I know it's popular on Tumblr to hate Twitter. But I am going to really miss it. I am going to miss the friends I've made there, and I'm going to miss the professional opportunities I've gained from there (I found my agent on Twitter! I found my mentor on Twitter! I was on Motherfoclóir because of Twitter! I've heard about conferences and calls for papers via Twitter!).

And there isn't an easy alternative. The writing community seems to have fled to BlueSky and Threads; the academic community to Mastodon. I can't maintain a presence across three platforms even if I wanted to, because I don't have the energy, but whatever I choose means I'll be losing connections to people I would have preferred to stay connected to. I know I'm not joining Threads, and I don't have a BlueSky invite, so I guess that leaves Mastodon...

This whole thing sucks, to be honest. The centralised internet was great for bringing people together... but only as long as it lasted, and centralisation means total loss when it goes down.

I'll probably make one of my periodic returns to my blog, when I have more time and spoons, but that feels one-way these days, not like a conversation the way it was back in 2010-2014. Maybe people will start commenting again, or maybe nobody will find my posts at all because they used to spread primarily through Twitter. I don't know. I'm sad. I'm gonna try Mastodon to see if I can at least find/maintain some academic community there. I'll probably try and post a bit more regularly on Instagram because it's the only platform I've got left where I can Be An Author, really (I try and do it here, but it doesn't work very well).

Twitter was deeply flawed, but that doesn't mean the loss of it isn't a loss. And I'm really feeling that loss at the moment.

#:(

[diamantinasfrilledshark]

Roleplay Rules!

Status: Semi-Open as of November 2nd, 2023

Feel free to DM me or ask any questions in my inbox! I can't guarantee that RPs will start right away, but we can definitely start setting things up.

In order to RP with me, you NEED to send me the hidden phrase in here so I know you actually read the rules. If not, I will not RP.

Literacy Style:

Literate to semi-literate. I like to write in multiple paragraphs, both with detail and somewhat dialogue heavy. If you’ve seen my writing, it’s a lot like that! I expect potential RP partners to follow in suit/match.

It seems as of late that I prefer literate with multiple paragraphs and details.

I’ve been RPing since I was like, 10. If I see *she smiles* it might summon rage 💀 /hj

Where We Can Talk:

Just starting off? Tumblr DMs! I won’t RP in the comment section of a post.

You can now ask for my Discord. It’s where I’m most active.

Slots:

Don’t really have a cap off but it becomes too much at once I will be sure to let you know.

Genres and Plots:

Almost anything and everything! However, towards strangers and people I’m generally unfamiliar with, SFW are going to be the topics I steer towards. Adventure, drama, horror etc. are all fine the first go around.

I’m pretty flexible on genres so like, hey don’t be afraid to suggest it.

NSFW, I like writing smut, I just need to like you as well lol. Not a slight on your behalf, but I will let you know whether smut is a possibility or not.

NSFW will only be done with other 18+ adults who have verified they are in fact, adults. I absolutely refuse NSFW to “ageless” accounts and minors.

Honestly I don’t want to RP with minors so if you’re a minor, don’t message me. Don’t do it. Thanks.

Pairings:

Gets a little odd here, I don’t actually ship anything, if that makes any sense? Like, canon character X canon character just isn’t in my repertoire unless they’re already an established couple or the franchise is heavily leaning them that way.

That said, I’m totally cool with self shipping and OCs X Canon characters. (If self ship, it has to go both ways. Sorry I’m a simp too 😔)

Platonic, familial, those work best though especially if I am unfamiliar with you as a person.

Honestly I’m not as veered towards romance unless you’re a good friend of mine.

Do:

When first DMing, send me memes to help break the ice! I’m pretty good about speaking to people, but I understand how awkward it can be

If you’re using an OC, please tell me all about your OC! If you have any reference pics etc, send them so I can describe them during the RP.

If you’re playing a canon character and you’ve changed anything about them that’s notable, feel free to mention their quirks, and the lore building you’ve done for them.

Tell me if it gets to be too much or if you wish to change directions. I want you to feel safe and have a free voice during the chat. If something doesn’t click, tell me.

Please talk to me about the RP plot before we start! That gives me a good direction on what bases to hit and which lines to not cross. Your boundaries are just as important as mine and I want to respect them.

Use brackets or some other notation to let me know you’re speaking out of character! I’m very prone to using []

Understand that you can leave for a while and don’t need to apologize. Genuinely, I know you’ll get back to me. If you don’t think you will or it’ll take longer than expected then let me know. I know people get busy, so it’s honestly no problem.

Don’t:

Do NOT ask to RP if you are a minor. I do not wish to RP with minors.

Send me unsolicited NSFW or a starter without any conversation prior to. It’s just kind of ???? On my end.

Do not godmod HEAVILY. I’m okay with like, “and he helped her up and watched as she walked over to the desk.” But fully godmodding is a no.

Send one liners. Self explanatory.

Wildly deviate from the plot in bizarre ways. Like, making things NSFW all of a sudden or cause angst when there was none. I hate saying “Mary Sue the RP” but do not Mary Sue the RP.

Please don’t be upset when I take a hot minute or two to respond. I’m a person that has a life outside of her phone and is actually prone to migraine if I look at screens for too long. I will always get back to the RP unless I say otherwise.

Be pushy for a character or a pairing I said no to.

Go too OOC for canon characters.

Ask for things like rape, beastiality, common DNI criteria.

I understand RP can be therapeutic but remember, I am not a therapist and the RP we have is not substitute for actual mental health help.

Fandoms:

SCP

Call of Duty

Darkwood

Assassin’s Creed

Grimm

Uncharted

My Little Pony (yeah goin' back to my roots)

My OCs (need to ask about those, there’s,,,, many and they’re all intricate.)

Other Things:

Please use third person, past or present tense. Usually past tense.

I feel it goes hand in hand with literate RP but use “speaking” for a dialogue and ‘thinking’ for thoughts.

Try not to rush anything! Let it happen naturally and it’ll all play out.

Don’t be afraid to talk to me outside of the RP either. Like, it’s a personal thing we’re probably going to become friends.

Some Examples of My RP Style:

Mind you, not all of these are going to be extremely long. Things tend to taper out.

All of these examples were lifted directly from one of my RPs.

November 2nd, 2023: I swear not all of my replies are going to be like this. I'm immensely more busy now.

This is a starter:

A young princess sat on the balcony of her mother’s grand palace. The stars of the night were absolutely gorgeous as her dark eyes peered upwards, tracing constellation upon constellation. There, she could see the proud statue of Amun and feel the loving gaze of the beautiful mother goddess, Hathor. Strings upon strings of stars hung in the sky and bathed the desert in a warm white and blue gold, illuminating the darkness so she could observe the night life of her people. At barely eighteen years old, the young princess had been coming to a very startling conclusion as she stared out at the houses amongst the dunes and the boats and their ferriers on the Nile: that one day, all of this would be hers. The thought scared her, as ruling over such a people with the same authority as her mother and her mothers before her… The burden was crushing in its own right.

Sameera, the current pharaoh of Egypt and seated daughter of Isis and Ra, had been gearing her only daughter up for greatness since she had been brought into the world. The palace had served little as a home and more of a house of education, gearing up the little girl for a future in which all would bow down to her. Sameera has been, and will be considered a bountiful ruler. She ushered in an Egypt in which magick and divine favor rained down on the land, where suffering was lightened, and where pain had been naught but a bruise.

To give her daughter, Tavi, a taste of what it would mean to be the seated pharaoh and begin expanding her power besides running the palace, Sameera had placed her in charge of the Festival of Hathor. The festival in itself being amongst the most important task Tavi has been held in charge of to this date. In the morning, Tavi would be heading out by herself to Dendera, the main site of Hathor’s cult and preside over it, and of course, ensure it passes smoothly.

It sounds so simple: let people get drunk and feast, make merry, and enjoy singing and dancing in the company of others, but Tavi has never been a part of such importance in ritual ceremonies. She’s only ever observed, and even that in itself has been something hidden to her as her mother finds the merrymaking beneath her real education under the watchful eyes of Thoth.

Tavi sighs deeply and rests her arms on the balcony for just a moment more, already intending to head back inside and rest for the night before one of her lady maids interrupts her train of thought.

“My lady,” the finely dressed woman begins. “You have a visitor.”

Tavi’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise as she crosses the balcony through the cool night air to come to her lady maid’s side. “What? Who on earth would come to my quarters at this hour?” She inquires, more curious than angered at the thought she has a visitor.

The woman bows her head in the princess’s presence as if to silently ask her if she should address the visitor. “I believe it pertains to the Festival of Hathor, but it was not my place to pry,” the lady maid continues, her voice soft and sweet. “Shall I tell them to leave?”

Tavi blinks before shaking her head. “No, you may leave. I’ll handle this,” she replies warmly, her hand resting on the taller woman’s shoulder. “Go, get some rest,” she hums.

The lady maid nods, thanks her princess, then exits out the servant’s entrance, leaving Tavi to her own devices.

The young princess brushes back some of her black hair, wondering who would ask audience with her so informally and so late at night. She crosses her limestone floor quietly, akin to a ghost as if to tell her visitor no one is present before stopping just shy of the door. Mentally, Tavi remembers what her mother has said about acting regally in the presence of others, how to stand tall and like a future queen, and physically rolls that onto her stance.

With a deep breath, she opens the door.

And here is another response show casing what RPs tend to look like down the line WITHOUT me RPING multiple characters:

Tavi’s eyebrows shoot up In surprise as the listens to Arya’s words. “That is troubling,” she murmurs more to herself than anyone else as she once again brushes back some of her hair.

Her mind wanders, wondering what the right course of action would be. Of course, they would be moving during the earlier morning before the sun would come up, but with the flowers on the line… “perhaps we should leave earlier,” she hums.

But then that would require waking up the rest of the party—and they needed their rest. “We can discuss this inside, please,” Tavi moves aside in the doorway, gesturing for Arya to enter. “I would despise seeing your work go to waste because of the heat and the sun,” she says, already moving to her table to give Arya a cup of water.

[Howdy, here’s the phrase. “An ocean without unnamed monsters would be like sleep without dreams.” ]

And here is a response showcasing me RPING multiple characters:

Abasi mentally rolled his golden eyes at Arya’s childish gesture as he led Tavi through the halls. He enjoyed the feeling of the princess’s hands on his forearm—she felt delicate beneath his touch, and it made his heart beat just a little bit faster.

The area they had stepped into was absolutely beautiful, gorgeous in every which way. The air was sweet and warm, like a mother’s caress.

“Great mother Hathor,” Tavi murmured, her head bowing in reverence to the goddess. “What a beauty and blessing you are,” she murmured to herself, slowly letting go of Abasi’s forearm.

“Princess!” A priest’s voice cut through. “What a pleasure to see you here,” he said warmly. “I presume you’ve come to make an offering?”

Tavi smiled and nodded, gently telling Abasi that his guard could lower. “I have. What a magnificent job you and the priests and priestesses have done.”

The priest beamed and quickly nodded for one of the lower ranking priestesses to fetch a bowl full of offerings they’d prepared for the princess. “It means the world t hear it from you,” he said. “We’ve gone all out this time for her festival.”

“It shows,” Tavi hummed, silently thanking the lower ranking priestess who handed her a bowl full of spices, jewelry, flowers and sweet smelling oils. Gently, Tavi came to the edge of the pool, kneeling down and offering silent prayers to Hathor, a blessed mother, before placing the bowl gingerly on the water.

It rippled as it flowed on the surface, almost resting perfectly in the middle amongst the sparse lily pads and lotus flowers.

On her way back up, Abasi offered the princess his hand, and she took it.

The priest once again beamed. “The goddess is most pleased with your presence,” he noted, barely able to contain his joy. “Would your companions like to make offerings as well?”

#if you've seen this post before it's bc I directly copy and pasted it from my main #rp #rp rules #rp blog #oc roleplay #roleplay rules #my little pony rp #cod rp #Darkwood rp #plz i would sell my soul for good Darkwood rp #uncharted rp #scp rp #assassin’s creed rp

[amadwinter]

Making of Monday - Tracking Word Counts

On Making of Monday, we share behind the scenes of one of our works past, present, or future. All the little things that would fit into a DVD bonus content section: cut scenes, outlines, director's writer's commentary, or basically any thing that didn't make it into the final version. Send me an ask if you're interested in knowing little details about any particular fic!

This week, I decided to show my word count spreadsheet that I've been meticulously using and crafting for coming up on two years now. It wasn't built in a day, and I'm almost constantly tweaking it to make it look nice and functional as I keep writing.

Uh, fair warning. This is not a very exciting post. Unless you like numbers and data, like I do.

For the sake of my own sanity, I started a new Excel document for the new year. This is my Summary page for the year 2024. I have pages created already for each month but hide them when it isn't that month. I'll show the Overview page next after I've explained what you're looking at.

So what you see here is my monthly and annual writing totals. This only takes into account new words written, although the start number at the top of each yearly column includes my running word count. Each month's number is automatically updated from the corresponding month's page, and added up in the total column.

On the side, I have fun projections. So if I wanted to write x number of words per year, not counting the words I have already written, I would need to write y number of words per month with an average of z number of words per day. It's not something I pay too much attention to, just for fun. Below that is a projection of if I write the NaNoWriMo daily count (1667 words per day) or 1000 words per day, how much that would add up to at the end of the year.

This is the Overview page from last year (2023) plus December 2022 which is when I switched over from my previous Google Sheets document. Additionally at the bottom you can see the different monthly pages that are not hidden (I color coded them because I was bored one day).

This page keeps track of my daily totals in the form of a color gradient, linked to the monthly pages to get the totals.

Solid Red = 0

Solid Yellow = 1000

Solid Green = 1667 (NaNoWriMo Daily; 50,000 words in a 30 day month)

Originally, the idea was to be able to look at it and see if there were time periods that I wasn't writing as well due to being busy for various reasons, so I could be able to predict in the future what conditions weren't great for writing. But an interesting side effect is it's also able to track my good days and my bad days for health reasons.

That random number you see on the right side is my highest daily word count. I was curious about it, but I couldn't figure out a way to make it look pretty and fit in with everything else.

This is my month page, divided by each individual project. Y is series or event with multiple fics involved, Z is one-shots, two-shots, or very short fics. The greyed out ones at the top are ones I'm not actively working on, the ones in green are fics that I am either actively working on or trying to work on.

Also at the top are the new words added each month (which is the cell used in other pages to keep track of the monthly number), the total words in all my documents, and the daily average for the month.

The color gradient at the top for each day follows the same pattern as before; Solid Red = 0, Solid Yellow = 1000, Solid Green = 1667+

I keep track of the word count for each chapter, add the total, subtract it from the previous day, and boom, that's my daily total. If there are times where I delete things, I throw it into a document called "Binned" to balance the numbers. That way, I never subtract from the amount of words I've written, only add.

While it may look like a very simple sheet, it is very messy with formulas, conditional formatting, etc. If I were more skilled at Excel, I could probably improve it even more, but at this point, there's very little maintenance needed to keep it going and I can focus on actually writing.

In theory.

#making of monday #writing process #no i didn't almost forget to post this #what are you talking about? #this might only make sense in my own brain

[pile-of-bugs]

Today's bug: Tailless whip scorpion!

Sorry I haven't been active for so long.. anyways I got a new pet today - this female tailless whip scorpion (likely Phrynus whitei), so I'll tell you about them!

Tailless whip scorpions are arachnids in the Order Amblypygi (am-BLIP-idge-eye) and they're quite ancient! They even look a bit prehistoric, I think. There's about 150 species of tailless whip scorpion.

Adapted for crawling around dark forests and cave walls, these arthropods are nearly blind - their simple eyes giving them only vague information, like the level of surrounding light. That's where their loooong 2nd pair of legs come in!

(image source: Wikimedia)

See those long "whips" from which they get their name? Those are for feeling their surroundings. When active, they'll be constantly moving around them around to sense their environment. The whips are very fragile and can break easily, but can be regrown every molt!

(image source: Frank Deschandol on iNaturalist)

Tailless whip scorpions are NOT scorpions, nor are they spiders. And those terrifying front claws aren't legs either - they're heavily modified mouthparts, pedipalps to be precise. Speaking of scorpions, their grabby claws are also their pedipalps! In spiders, these are those cute little appendages right next to the chelicerae (the things that have the fangs).

Unlike both scorpions and spiders, however, a tailless whip scorpion cannot bite or sting. They're almost totally harmless! Practically the posterchild for "don't judge a book by its cover," these are some of the friendliest arachnids in the world. You have to seriously to make one angry (which is basically abuse, so don't do that), and even then they'll only try smacking you with their thorny pedipalps, never biting with their fangs.

About the only truly scary part of handling them (once you get past their appearance) is their speed. These things normally move very slowly (on account of the "blind and has to touch everything" thing), but if startled, they'll bolt in the opposite direction with incredible speed! They really, really would rather not confront you at all. I cannot emphasize enough how completely NOT dangerous these arachnids are, despite their look!

(image source: Jonathan's Jungle Roadshow)

Btw, did you know the mommas make great parents? Like many other large arachnids, the mothers will take their young with them until they're large enough to hunt on their own. They hatch from an egg pouch carried on the underside of the abdomen, which looks absolutely alien - in the source for the above image, you can find pictures of the whole process.

You may have seen this meme ^ Their pedipalps, usually folded up, can also unfold to catch prey or defend themselves (in the original video for this pic, the owner is provoking this reaction - something I don't condone, even if it showcases their grab ability very well). Tailless whip scorpions are carnivores, and the prey they catch are usually small insects like crickets or flies.

Tailless whip scorpions are found in almost every warm, tropical part of the world - Central/South America, Africa, Asia, and even some islands like the Phillipines!

Here's my t.w.s.' habitat. They're very easy pets to take care of! Just make sure you have a habitat that favors verticality - they need to be able to climb to feel at home! Cork board is best, either just on the back, or 2-3 sides of the enclosure. Humidity is a must, so have the base be filled with cocofiber, then add water and perhaps a heating pad set on low to maintain moisture. Moss helps too! All that's left is to feed them - just once or twice a month is enough.

The light on my display is too hot, and heats up the plastic really quickly, so I only use it briefly to find and observe her. They don't actually need light since they're used to being in the dark!

I hope you liked these facts on tailless whip scorpions. If you know more facts, lmk or just add it to the post! I'm still learning things myself - like for example, you can tell males/females apart by the size of their pedipalps (the males have reaaaally long pedipalps, like the one in that meme, the females have much shorter ones).

#bugs #bug #nature #insect #insects #entymology #forest #zoology #arachnid #arachnids #spiders #spider #whip scorpion #tailless whip scorpion #creepy

[abovetherainandroses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Storm here! 🌩 Tysm for the tag @27-royal-teas! <3 I haven't done a tumblr meme thing in forever! And I don't really have any friends on this blog so I don't have anyone to tag, but if you're a writer who follows me, consider yourself tagged! (And also come be my friend)

This got long! I talk too much! Answers are below the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So I have two accounts lol, because for some reason I decided to make a separate RPF account even though I have other embarrassing things on main account anyway?? Anyway, I currently have 100 fics on my main and 5 on my RPF account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Across both accounts, 379,693 words for an average of 3.6k per fic. Longfic? I don't know her.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I usually write for one fandom at a time, but I will revisit/cycle through fandoms. Currently it's Fall Out Boy. Previously, I was writing some MCU stuff (mostly Spider-Man). Also wrote a handful of Good Omens stuff back when S1 came out. I have the most fics posted for Haikyuu (volleyball manga/anime) lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oops I only have 5 fics so far on my RPF account and I'm still debating whether I want this account directly linked to my main.

But I will take this opportunity to tell anyone who needs it not to put too much stock into kudos!! Kudos count relies on a lot of factors, but a big two are fandom/ship size and when you post the fic relative to the height of the fandom's activity. (Getting in early with a fic right after a new movie/season/etc. comes out so you're one of the first fics for the New Thing can be huge too.)

External validation is obviously very nice but if you rely too much on it, you're not gonna have a good time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Comments make my entire life and I always want to respond to them, but I inevitably fall off because the brain energy isn't there, and I keep putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and then it feels too late. But seeing as I only have 5 fics on my RPF account, I recently went and responded to everything, even if it was years late. In the past few weeks I've actually gotten responses to some comments I left on fics like 3 years ago so it inspired me, haha.

I myself am not always good at leaving comments (continuous goal to get better at it), so I really appreciate the people who take the time to leave kind comments for me and I want to express that appreciation.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write angsty fic... I'm too softhearted. That said, I have made a few forays into angst, but Your Mileage May Vary on which one is the angstiest. Is it the major character death? Is it the one where they're soulmates with the last words they'll say to each other written on their skin, and in the end it's not death that separates them, but their own inability to have a functional relationship with each other?

Or is it the one I didn't even think was super angsty and tagged "bittersweet ending" but then it made a bunch of people cry? I'm still like "...my bad" about that one lmao.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fluff is my lifeblood and almost all of my fics have a happy ending. I couldn't tell you which was the happiest, haha. Again, I'm incredibly softhearted, and also a big sap. I cannot deny this!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thinking very hard... I have been posting fic for............. several years so it is possible I am forgetting something but nothing comes to mind! I have always felt too relatively unknown for haters, which is just fine by me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

"What kind" lol. What does that even mean. Listen, my kink is holding hands during sex and being ❤️ in love ❤️ (I mentioned I'm a softhearted sap, right??)

Sometimes I might explore some light kink but nothing too hardcore imo.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Again, I've been writing/posting fic for several years, so I could be forgetting something, but I don't remember ever writing a true crossover. Though in my personal definition of fandom terms, crossover = characters from fandom A meet characters from fandom B. I have written a few fusion AUs in my time (characters from fandom A existing in the world of fandom B), which you could say falls under the crossover umbrella. For example, I've written Kingdom Hearts characters in a Pacific Rim AU and Haikyuu characters in Dragon Age AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though I did once see (this was a SUPER long time ago) someone repost my fic on tumblr the same day I posted it on FFN, even though I also posted the full text of the fic on tumblr myself. They credited my FFN account, at least, but like. Hey. Don't do that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had some fics translated into various languages! It's definitely an honor that people want to share some of my stuff in other languages and take the time to do that translation work. I try to ask people keep translations on AO3 but it hasn't always succeeded so there are some translations of my works floating around on foreign language fic sites... Ah well.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I successfully co-wrote one (1) fic with one of my friends years ago. I've tried a few other times to co-write fics (including with the same person) but none of them ever finished... Co-writing fic is hard! Idk how to do it effectively. I've done a handful of fic/art collabs with my wife though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I have a single all-time favorite ship, but Peterick is definitely the current fave. I........ adore them. So much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen, I am a hoarder of WIPs and a clinger to delusions that they will one day be finished. But okay, one of my peterick WIPs from 2016-2017 that I really liked but highly doubt I'll ever finish is a no-band, dating show AU where Pete is the eligible bachelor on a queer offshoot of the Bachelor/Bachelorette and Patrick (through machinations by Joe) ends up as a contestant on the show. Patrick is camera shy and does not want to be there, but he made a deal with Joe to stay til he was eliminated. Pete, who just went through a public and messy divorce with Ashlee, does not want to be there, but he was guilt-tripped into using his moderate fame to help bring viewership to the underfunded little queer show.

Pete finds out Patrick never wanted to be there in the first place and offers to eliminate Patrick. I will copy/paste the next bit from my gdoc:

"[...] pete’s like what if…i didn’t eliminate you and we just stayed friends and hung out and stuff and patrick finds himself agreeing bc pete’s a really nice dude and they have a lot of interests in common

But then Patrick keeps sticking around through the weeks and Patrick and Pete fall in love and both end up having separate private crises because they agreed to be friends. Patrick sees Pete spending time with other candidates and clearly being attracted to them and it sucks because now Patrick is in love with Pete and Pete isn’t considering him at all. Meanwhile Pete is having a good time with the other candidates and sure there’s lust there and even some like but he can’t stop thinking about how perfect Patrick is for him except for oh wait Patrick doesn’t even want to BE here and Pete was the one who convinced him to stay and now he’s fucking in love with him."

Blah blah blah, stuff happens, Pete eliminates Patrick in the last few weeks then when he has to make the choice between the final two candidates, calls Patrick and confesses to him instead, blah blah blah, happy ending.

Anyway. I wrote 11k of that fic and I was about 1/3 of the way through. It will never be finished. But now I've told you all about it and that's good enough, right?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Internal narration and emotions. Tightly focused fics that span 1-3 scenes. Spelling and grammar.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Longfic or fic with several scenes that take place over an extended stretch of time. Related to that, coming up with external plot events rather than just internal conflict HAHA. Describing the setting/environment so the characters don't just exist in a nebulous empty space.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As with most of my preferences re: fic, it depends on the execution. It can feel clunky and maybe even cringey, or it can feel natural and realistic. Just be intentional about how you're using it. Also, it always helps if you know a fluent speaker who can review it for you but understandably you may not always have someone like that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior... cats...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is impossible to answer hahahaha. Certainly if we look at my main AO3. But if we're looking at my grand total of 5 (as of yet) RPF fics, I can say that I'm still quite fond of get us right (quitters never win), a fob AU fic where everything is the same but they all have minor superpowers, featuring empath!Patrick and telepath!Pete.

Aaaaand we are done! If you got this far, I am giving you cookies.

#why do i talk so much #storm talks #genuinely feel like i owe anyone who reads all my rambling something #come talk to me about peterick and give me fic prompts or something

[vvivacious101]

Oh God! We need to talk!

I have been insane ever since the RWRB movie came out but I guess you can only stay immersed in a fandom for so long before you start to see its more insidious aspects.

This thought has entered my mind before but I chose not to engage because fandom should ideally be fun and a break from reality. Unfortunately, all of humanity's creations contain humanity's flaws and I can't keep turning a blind eye anymore.

I don't think this post is going to do much but if it makes even one person realise they aren't alone in their experience it would have served its purpose.

So, let's talk about fandom racism.

The only other couple that I ship that is an interracial one is Joe and Nicky from The Old Guard. They are also an interfaith couple so they really had the odds stacked against them from the very beginning. But by the time I came into that fandom, there was a real movement to call out racial bias and ignorance in Joe's portrayal. So I thankfully avoided the racism in that fandom because when I got involved in that fandom there was an active will to counter said racism which also made me very careful regarding how I interacted with that fandom. I was just more informed so I protected myself.

The thing I totally forgot while getting into this fandom is that FirstPrince is also an interracial couple. This fandom is very passive in its racism because you can tell fandom racism exists by how people choose to not interact at all with certain elements that are a part of this ship and never has the insidiousness of racism been more obvious than since the movie came out.

It's obvious that a lot of people just didn't engage with the fact that Alex is biracial. The book actually plays a huge part in it because, for the most part, it doesn't do a good job of portraying Alex as someone who comes from two cultures and speaks two languages (even though I have to say that the only time Alex speaks Spanish where it is presented as such in the book is also one of the most beautiful moments in the book and that fact that it isn't talked about nearly as much kind of proves my point). But with the release of the movie, it's harder to ignore Alex's race.

I mean frankly, it is so obvious in the way this fandom treats the actors portraying these characters that they are being confronted by the interraciality of this couple for the very first time.

It's a lot harder to ignore colour on screen.

I love the fact that the director chose to lean into Alex's roots.

But the true impetus for writing this post comes from a fic I recently read which reminded me of this post that I had seen on Tumblr (you can read it here) and combining that with the above issue meant that I felt like I should speak up if only for my own mental peace.

Now, I am very much of the opinion that if you don't like a fanfic you shouldn't engage with it because fanfic writers don't owe you anything. The mere fact that they choose to share their works of art with the public is kind of a very selfless deed. But, I need to talk about this fic because it really started highlighting the issues that insidiously exist in this fandom (we should probably make a drinking game of how many times I use the word insidious in this post).

Henry running away from Alex at the lakehouse is something that only works if you account for the fact that he is an honest-to-god Prince. His actions in any other scenario are just douchey. Fanfic can get very creative and I'm pretty sure that fanfic writers can come up with alternative ways of making this scenario work even in an AU without him being royalty but it needs to be creative to work.

In the book, this works because Henry is a prince and the one thing that I know about the British Monarchy is that it has a will for self-preservation like no other. So you can sympathise with Henry's position without needing the details. It's also important to realise that the monarchy is not just an institution for Henry it's his family. At some point, he is going to be the son of the reigning monarch abdication or not.

But if you try to spin off an AU in which Henry pulls this stunt except with way more viciousness then you better come prepared to make him GROVEL. It really hurt because apparently people reading this fic were angry with Alex for his understandable vindictiveness something I gleaned from the author's notes on the various chapters and not because I read every comment on the fic so I could be wrong about how people were reacting to the events in the fic but clearly the author believed that the events in the fic would garner hate towards Alex which was literally unbelievable to me. Because predictably it's Alex who takes the first step towards reconciliation and Henry literally does the bare minimum. Reading this fic was so disturbing and disconcerting because I don't think the author even realises that they have set such different standards for Henry and Alex in this fic which made it infinitely worse.

Henry's abandonment of Alex just doesn't work if he isn't burdened by something as powerful as the monarchy and I don't get how that isn't obvious.

The Tumblr post I came across also on a similar note is pretty succinct and I like the point it is making.

But it got me thinking and I realised that Henry's initial rejection of Alex can't be read as Henry rejecting Alex, it has to be read while keeping Alex's lived experience in mind. So no matter what Henry said be it the "get rid of him" version from the book or the "get me out of here" version from the movie, it still can't only be about Alex and Henry it also has to be viewed through the lens of race and class differences that exist between these two. It means that Alex not only has to deal with a person being rude to him he has to deal with the fact that this person is rude to him because of things about him that are a fundamental part of who he is. Of course, that isn't the case here but I don't blame him one bit for jumping to conclusions. Also, in this case, context matters and I like the fact that the movie changed the line because with context Henry's position is much more sympathetic than in the book version of his line (which is incidentally never brought up in the book).

I also like the fact that Henry is the first to contact Alex unlike in the book where Alex gives Henry his number and Henry just decides to use it because it showcases a will to know Alex. Henry makes an effort to give this relationship a chance on his own terms which is something I didn't know I needed. It also means that Alex isn't the only one seen fighting for and wanting this relationship. We have express proof that Henry wants it too with not one but two instances in the movie.

I should probably also tell you that so far I haven't encountered a whole lot of racial bias in fics in this fandom so you are actually pretty safe because I'm pretty sure I have read more than fifty fics in this fandom and not one was insidiously racist. The racism is more observable and notable with how this fandom treats the two actors differently but when I read this one fic and yes so far it is only the one fic that I was tempted to quit in the middle but didn't because by that time it had already become the straw that broke the camel's back and I didn't want to critique something I hadn't read in its entirety.

So, here it is whatever this is. I hope this helps in some way either in validating some people's feelings or alternatively making someone else recognise their own bias.

That's it from me!

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #myposts

[picapicamagpie]

OC & Art Request Master Post

I think it’s about time I had one of these! This has been in my drafts since June last year… It feels weird making an introduction when I’ve been on Tumblr for so long now but now I’m more active I feel it’s appropriate.

You can call me whatever you want, but I’m partial to Cadence, Cady, or Picapica! I’m an adult, she/her, and I’m completely crazy over all things birds and Sing (I also like MLP, Helluva Boss, Pokemon, HTTYD, Sonic, and Godzilla). 90% of my posts are about my self ship, but I occasionally post about whatever random Sing thought is rotting my brain at the time. I also like to take art requests, art trades, and draw gifts for friends 💖 I’m also currently running Sing text posts into the ground.

‼️‼️IMPORTANT: Obviously I am a self shipper. I self ship only with Klaus Kickenklober. For deeply personal reasons, it causes me a lot of distress to see him in other ships. If I have to see other content of him being shipped with another character, canon or oc, I will have to unfollow/block. Sorry for being super sensitive about it, I wish I wasn’t, but it’s a boundary I cannot compromise. I don’t mind if people like or dislike him though and respect it as long as they respect my love for him.‼️‼️

This blog is SFW, however I have a Twitter account for all my nsfw content. It has art and “bonus” fic chapters about Klaus solo and with Cadence. However it’s a very personal account and I’m very picky about who I let access it. You can DM me if you’re interested, but I need to know you really well (well enough to know you’re an adult) and be comfortable about it. I am not comfortable with giving access to minors (obviously), and to people who ship with Klaus.

Trade/Request Status: ✨1 slot open!

Current To-Do List: Joethetoonfanandoutcast, 1 surprise gift for friend

OC Info

Reference Sheet:

Of course she wears clothes normally which you can see in her other tagged art, I just wanted to show her feather patterns

Character Info: Here

More Pics for Reference: Tagged ‘Cadence’

Fanfics: AO3

Art Trades/Requests Information under the cut:

I am very much an amateur, hobbyist artist but I don’t mind doing requests or trades! However I have some rules:

‼️I will not draw or write anything to do with Klaus Kickenklober, unless it involves my oc. He is a very important and personal character to me.‼️

‼️I will not draw or write about any Buster Moon ships, canon or oc. MoonJewel ride or die‼️

🪶 Please pm me for trades and requests, otherwise I’ll forget!

🪶 I can do art or fanfic trades, but fanfic trades are limited to one-shots because I am a s l o w writer and I don’t want to commit to a multi chapter fic and then lose the will to live. Fanfics are for trades only, I don’t take writing requests because it takes me so long.

🪶 All the usual blacklist stuff - no racism, sexism, anti-lgbtq, dubcon, anything hateful/political, MAP, etc etc. Also no fetish artwork - if you try masking your fetish in a request I will notice and I will not do it. No kink-shaming here, but I’m not interested in someone trying to trick me into providing for their spank bank.

🪶 I’m really not fussy about specifics, I can trade a fic for art or art for a fic or whatever. I don’t mind the other person’s skill level because I’m not very good myself!

🪶 No nsfw art as I’m not good at it but I’m happy to write smut for a trade providing the other person is 18+. No nsfw requests. Nsfw will not be posted to my blog which is strictly sfw, but shared privately via email instead. Remember that Tumblr bans nsfw.

🪶 I can’t draw humans, humanoids, or robots. I can try, but be prepared to be disappointed. Backgrounds will be just coloured or very simple.

🪶 Requests are totally up to my discretion. As I get nothing in return for my time, I do them only if I like the idea and will decline if I don’t. It’s not likely I’ll take an oc request, I usually only draw ocs for a trade. Requests are also lowest priority for me - I will draw them when I feel like it and give no time frame. It may or may not be coloured. Please don’t spam me with multiple requests. Please be polite and remember, if you’re getting free art, don’t expect it immediately! I don’t always post requests and gifts to my blog to avoid spam but feel free to repost with credit.

🪶 Art trades are highest priority for me. Because there is someone else putting in time of their own, I will try to finish asap usually within a week. Order of priority goes: 1. Trades, 2. Personal stuff for myself (including gifts for friends if I want to), 3. Requests. Also when someone makes me a gift I almost always make them one in return.

🪶 I’m pretty good at researching all different characters and fandoms. I don’t have a fandom blacklist.

#reblogs turned off because this is only for pinning #sing #sing 2 #sing oc #cadence

[project-sekai-facts]

project sekai fact it had their characters do blackface and fans like you keep excusing it and continuing to play and even monetarily support this game <3

I am aware of that and I do not excuse it at all; I am critical of those aspects of the game/expanded media even if I have not been very vocal about it on this account. I do not and have not ever put money into this game but I cannot control what others do.

I understand that the game has had Revival my dream, the Island Panic costumes, cosmospice, puchiseka episode 6 etc, and I understand the impact these had on Indigenous people, SWANA and Black people (I've read a lot of twitter threads/tumblr posts made by affected people as well as outside research). And I can totally understand why people no longer play the game. However people from the affected groups have said it is okay to continue playing the game and continue to play themselves so long as you are aware of the racism within it and are critical of it (obviously not everyone who has had their culture mocked in the game will want to continue playing it but some choose to while being critical of the negative aspects of the game). I know people irl who continue to play the game despite being part of one of the affected groups and they are fine with me continuing to play as well.

Is the game going to stop this behaviour? Honestly probably not due to racism within Japan (if you're familiar with other idol type gacha games you'll notice a recurring theme with certain card sets) and if we reach a point where people from the affected race/culture(s) are telling people that it is not okay to play the game anymore because they have crossed too far past the line (like whats happening with genshin as far as i'm aware), I will stop. I don't even know if this account will last until then.

I'm assuming you have me blocked already, so won't see this, but if you are not okay with this account or the franchise due to what it has done, I understand and respect that and suggest that you block me if you haven't already and block the project sekai tag. I know you haven't done the latter because you probably actively sought out this blog or found it in the tag.

Just to make it clear, I am white, and frankly my words mean nothing here. If anyone who follows this blog who has been affected by the racism in the game would like to contribute, it would be greatly appreciated. I sincerely apologise if I have said anything offensive/problematic here and ask for anyone to infom me if I have made any mistakes so I can learn and correct them.

#mod talks #asks