#apso jobs

[magicalmanhattanproject]

(Most) QSMP Characters As Dog Breeds

Etoiles – Great Pyrenees

Literally the reason I made this whole goddamn monster of a post. Sometimes a man is just So dogboy. Specifically, livestock guardian dogboy. Pyrs are massive, immensely strong dogs that are bred to protect flocks of sheep from wolves and bears and they are very, very good at it. They are fiercely loyal, but also independent and comfortable spending time off on their own and making their own decisions as they wander the borders of their flock's territory. While they're phenomenal at guarding the sheep, they don't have any business herding the sheep or trying to get the sheep to go anywhere in particular.

Philza – Border Collie

Herding the flock is the job of a dog like the collie. The whole point of them is to keep a whole massive flock all in one place and all moving the same direction. Keeping them together, keeping stragglers in line, making sure everyone is accounted for. Border collies in particular are considered the smartest breed of dog on the planet, making them highly adaptable to a wide range of new situations. On the other hand, a collie that doesn't have the space to roam freely and keep itself occupied can easily turn bored, anxious, and destructive.

Roier – Calupoh

Also known as the Mexican wolfdog as it was made by hybridizing with wolves, the calupoh is used for both herding and guarding livestock. While it's not hyperspecialized for either role like the pyrenees or collie are, it can more than hold its own in both. They tend to get along well with both children and other dogs, making them excellent family dogs.

Quackity – Chihuahua

He's short, he's loud, and he likes to start fights he can't possibly win. What more do you want from me? Chihuahuas also happen to be one of the oldest native Mexican breeds alongside the Xoloitzcuintli.

Tubbo – Cairn Terrier

Stubborn, clever, and prone to excessive barking, Cairn terriers are nonetheless loyal and protective of their family. They're playful with family and get along great with children. Bred to chase down vermin, they love digging holes and chasing after whatever catches their eye. They are also known to enjoy chasing things and digging holes. Some of their hobbies include digging holes and chasing after things. They are much less fond of being told to stop chasing or digging.

Tina – Lhasa Apso

The lhasa apso is decidedly not a working dog. Their job is to sit around looking pretty and being brushed and doted on until they hear any suspicious noise that might disturb their peace, at which point they start barking to alert the actual muscle to get to work. That being said, they're more than willing to do the biting themselves if they decide the muscle is too slow to react.

BadBoyHalo – Pit Bull

The pit bull is a breed surrounded by rumors, misinformation, and flat out lies. For one thing, it's not even a breed. It's at least eight breeds that people lump together because they assume they're scarier or more aggressive or dangerous than average, including weird made up lies about locking jaws and nonsense like that. On the other hand, other people will argue that every pit bull is completely 100% harmless and neither would nor could hurt a fly. The truth of the matter is that a dog can be sweet and loving and playful and affectionate and also muscular and toothy and capable of lashing out when hurt or scared or simply because it has a prey drive that it hasn't been properly trained and socialized to restrain.

Jaiden – Beagle

Everyone loves a beagle! They're chill, sweet, eager to please, and down for anything. This makes them a preferred breed for animal testing.

Missa – Siberian Husky

Incredibly dramatic creature. Everything that is going on in the husky's life is the most important and portentous thing that has ever occurred and it will tell all you about it. Loudly.

Carre – Dogo Argentino

Although they sometimes get folded into the "pit bull" label, the dogo is a mastiff bred to hunt pumas and wild boars. They have strong prey drives and love to chase, but are very affectionate with their families. They can also have problem with dog aggression if not properly socialized, but do well with human strangers.

Bagi – Bloodhound

If there's one thing bloodhounds are good at – better than any other dog at, in fact – it's following a scent. They have the best sense of smell of any dog and can follow trails long after they would have gone cold for anyone else. The problem is this leads to an obsessive tendency. They find an interesting smell to follow and they follow it no matter where it's going or who is trying to get them to stop.

Pierre – Pyrenean Shepherd

Another sheepdog, this time bred specifically to work with the Great Pyrenees. Highly intelligent, highly motivated, if they cannot find any problems to solve, they will create them.

Fit – German Shepherd

A trustworthy, versatile breed, German shepherds have the power and strength for aggressive guard and attack dog roles as well as the intelligence to work as service or search and rescue and dogs. In fact, these are some of the most likely dogs to get themselves a job.

Mariana – English Greyhound

Large, long, lean. Little loony.

Wilbur – Borzoi

Large, long, lean. Little loony. (Floppy hair version)

Spreen – Ovcharka

Type of dog to make you go "holy shit is that a bear!" and type of dog to make a bear wish you saw right.

Niki – Hovawart

Native German breed known as a guard for the home and the farm. They are very protective of children and loyal to their families, but take a while to warm up to strangers.

Mouse – Papillon

The smallest of the spaniels, the papillon is not a lapdog. They are highly intelligent and highly energetic and require plenty of daily exercise to meet their activity needs. They're friendly and outgoing and great fun to be around.

Rivers – Boxer

You know, because she boxes...

Pol – Basset Hound

These days, the basset is a companion dog that's perfectly content to lounge around the house all day and not get into too much trouble. And it's these days that we're worried about, right?

Felps – Brazilian Terrier

He's just a little guy who loves to dig.

Antoine – Dogue de Bordeux

An ancient French breed with a weird looking face. The dogue is calm and friendly with children, but aloof with strangers and serves well as a guard dog.

Baghera – Poodle

Look at that silly dog with that funny haircut! Surely that can't be a highly intelligent and effective hunting dog. Nope, none of that here. Just the funny haircut dog. Hey, did you hear the joke about the goldfish?

Cellbit – Fila Brasileiro

Bred from mastiffs and bloodhounds, filas are massive dogs with incredibly powerful tracking instincts and prey drives. They are loyal and protective of their family and especially children but can be aggressive with strangers if not properly trained.

Maxo – Portuguese Water Dog

Please stop trying to keep him on land. Please. He just wants to get off the island. You know, to swim.

Vegetta – Burgos Pointer

Native Spanish breed of gundog. About as close to purple as a dog can get. Generally mild mannered and even tempered, but a hunting dog to the core, they need space to run and roam and make some trouble for small animals.

Foolish – Golden Retriever

A gorgeous specimen of classical doghood. Bred for a similar role to pointers. Known as goofy, charming housepets, but also extremely intelligent, diligent, and hardworking. And gorgeous.

Pac - Irish Wolfhound

Introverted, intelligent, and easygoing, but prone to becoming destructive and morose if left alone for too long. Unreliable watchdogs due to their friendliness towards strangers.

Mike – Campeiro Bulldog

Powerful, strong, and active, with a real fighting spirit and a temper that's slow to activate but powerful when it's there.

Slime – Pug

I'm out of pictures. You know what these look like. Specifically with the most smushed face possible. Why would you breed this dog? Try again.

Cucurucho – Rat

Literally canon.

#sorrelposting #qsmp #i took willy rubius kameto dantdm luzu german and lenay off the list to save myself #i think y'all can forgive me #i'm not doing the eggs either #just imagine them as mixes of their parents

[littleeggrock]

thanks for the tag @foxymc!

1. Named after anyone?

Nope :D

2. Last time you cried?

anxiety attack brought on partly by homework and partially from getting Invisalign and not vibing with how it felt in my mouth last tuesday :D

3. Do you have kids?

i have a son, he is a stuffed dinosaur from target i named Gerard. i share custody and co-parent with another friend. he looks like this + a grey shirt with dinosaur patterning and a green jacket over top that we bought him at old navy

4. What sports do you play/have played?

i took karate for 3+ years, quit because i didn't want to take the 5 hour blackbelt test, and now i'm on a synchronized swimming team, which was genuinely the best decision i have ever made, highly recommend the experience

5. do you use sarcasm?

whenever applicable, i like it a lot :)

6. First thing you notice about people?

general behavior, what are they doing? how do they act? should i interact or avoid?

7. Eye colour?

hazel-ish brown, though i've been told several times they look almost red in the right lighting

8. scary movie or happy ending?

scary movie all the way give me The Horrors

9. any talents?

nothing too special, i'm pretty generic

10. where were you born?

Minnesota dont'cha know :D

11. hobbies?

reading, writing, drawing, the basic lmao. i also really like analyzing horror games and movies, or anything that catches my interest

12. any pets?

leopard gecko, his name is Rusty and he is The Idiot ever but i love him anyways, and a Lhasa Apso mix (dog) named harry because when i got him he was very hairy lmfao

13. How tall are you?

5'3 on the dot, i'll kick ur shins

14. favourite subject?

English/language arts all the way it's the only class i get to read and write about interesting stuff

15. dream job?

something outdoors that i can do with my hands lmao, hopefully working with animals or wildlife in some way? something that won't make me want to put my head through a wall.

tags! i'm gonna tag @flunkett and @rain-is-cool :D hey guys

[eggysimblr]

15 Questions, for 15 Mutuals

Are you named after anyone?  If we're talking first names, no. But I got my second name after my dad.

When was the last time you cried? I try not to remember moments of my own weakness, it's embarassing.

Do you have kids? Bruh, I myself am a manchild.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Gee, I don't know, do I? XD

 What sports do you play/have you played? I hate any form of physical activity, and I find sport excruciatingly boring.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people?  I don't focus on one's exterior, as I believe their character is more important.

Eye colour? Blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?  I don't like scary movies with cheap jumpscares and buckets of gore, and soppy romcoms make me nauseous. I prefer atmospheric psychological horror, dark humor, epic fantasy, and sharp witted commentary on human condition. A few reasons why I love Warhammer for example.

Any special talents? I'm a fast learner, especially when it comes to languages. I also am pitch perfect, which is kind of a wasted talent, since I don't sing, or play any instruments.

Where were you born? Warsaw, Poland

What are your hobbies?  History, Archaeology, Arms and weapons, Lego, and Video Games, to name a few.

Do you have any pets? Yes, a female Lhasa Apso named Suzie.

How tall are you? about 190 cm

Favourite subject in school? I never really liked school, I had terrible teachers, and the kids bullied me and alienated me. And my fascination with History came from the books I've read, and not school.

Dream job? Back when I was a naive child I'd say An Archaeologist. Now as I'm a disillusioned, bitter, nearly 35 y/o adult with no work experience, I'd say anything to achieve economical stability, allow me to be independent and able to support my family.

Thanks to my bro @viktorviolettaenterprises for tagging me, I'd like to tag any of my mutuals, who would like to join the fun. :)

[silks-up-my-sleeve]

I was tagged by @loser-user-noaccuser, thank you so much!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I wasn't, but I was almost named after my great grandfather Aubrey but my great grandma vetoed that decision

2. When was the last time you cried?

Like two nights ago over a lot of different things, my mental health has

3. Do you have any kids?

No, and I truly don't think I ever will. It'll just be dogs for me

4. Do you use sarcasm?

On the daily

5. Whats the first thing you notice about people?

A lot of things, from how they treat those around them to how they carry themselves.

6. Whats the colour of your eyes?

Dark brown, just like my dad's

7. Scary Movies or Happy endings?

Happy endings

8. Any special talents?

Not necessarily, I have a handful of voice impressions I do very well. I don't really know if there truly is anything I'm great at

9. Where were you born?

A small town in Virginia

10. What are your hobbies?

Knitting, making little moodboards, writing on occasion, and collecting vinyl.

11. Do you have any pets?

I have three dogs! Bennington "Benny" Jett who is a one year old TWC mix, Rudy the almost 4 year old Lhasa Apso, and Harmony Jane the Americab Staffordshire mix who is about 11 years old

12. What sports do you regularly play?

I have never played a sport and I'm truly not intending to start now

13. How tall are you?

4'11

14. Favourite subject at school?

In high school I loved French class, but in undergrad I loved a number of classes outside of my majors; Transformations of Medieval Lit, Humans- Creatures of the Coast, and Detective Fiction to name a few.

15. Dream Job?

Either to own a bookstore or I want to work in harm reduction/rehabilitation (since I want to go to grad school for Forensic Psych)

Tagging: @pennylanefics @rhythm-of-space @sunfl0wer-power @fan-girl-97 @sorry-i-spaced @return-of-the-penor and anyone else who would like to :)

[partyswirl]

HONESTLYYY if i won the lottery i'd buy a fursuit but i'd probaby apso buy abunch of plague doctor costumes and craft stuff . i'd probably wanna find out how to make a fursuit and also i'd wanna figure out how 2 customize plague doctor costumes and make my own masks and stuff bc it would be cool. but i am possibly the least crafty person so that wouldnt happen. i got off tracj

anyway if i got a million dollars i would hire an eccentric engineer or mechanics somethihg person. idk what the job is called. someone who makes cool stuff that can move when u move. my henchman. i'd pay them to design liiike make leg extender things so i can be digitigrade and also like ridiculously tall. i wanna be mistaken for a theme psrk animatronic. and all the parts move so that the leg moves when u bend ur knee but it still looks yk digitigrade and there's be the bird claws at the end which i could pinch. i'd literally walk around being a huge bird thing idc if i couldnt walk into buildings it would be so funny

#rambles

[misspiperlee]

species: human

sexuality: bisexual

pronouns: she/her

favorite song: about damn time by lizzo 

big three: leo sun, aries moon, aries rising 

piper grew up smack dab in the middle of a lot of siblings- like, a LOT of siblings. it doesn’t matter exactly how many; she doesn’t even talk to most of them anymore. or any of them, really, except for around the holidays. she never really was as close to any of them as they were with each other, and she’s decided that’s just because they’re boring normal people. she’s not. she’s a star. 

as for her family, though: they owned a small grocery store on a cozy street corner in echo creek. her parents simply didn’t have the money to help piper enter into any beauty pageants, so she worked extra hours at the store as well as other odd jobs around town in order to earn the money needed to enter. never tell piper that she didn’t earned what she has, because she certainly did. and she’s not afraid to say so. 

the one creature that piper loves as much as kermit- besides herself, though let’s be real, she loves herself more- is her lhasa apso, foo foo. piper loves her little fur baby to death and absolutely spoils her rotten. she would do the same to her and kermit’s kids if they had any- which she’s reminded him on more than one occasion.

piper had a few flings with some of the other muppets during their time together. some of them were out of sincere attraction, but most were just to make kermit jealous. none of them, needless to say, lasted very long. 

#🐷 bio

[carefuldogclipping]

#dog grooming #dogs #lhasa apso #back from rehab #finding out that my job makes me want to drink excessively #so guess who needs a new job!

[bridgyrose]

You know, when I first started transitioning, I knew things were going to get harder, but I dont think I understood just how hard everything would get. Before I started hormones, and even now a few years after, dating is a nightmare and I feel pike Im constantly stuck in a catch 22: if I put thst Im trans, Im lying about being a girl, but if I dont, then Im trapping people. Then, there's apso this whole stigma that because Im transitionimg, I must be into guys or bi. And when I tell people Im only interested in women, I get responses like "you should be grateful anyone is into you" or "you should just take what you can get and not be picky".

And then job hunting... before I managed to get my name changed, I'd get funny looks when people saw my dead name. And now, after the name change, hardly anyone looks at me for the jobs Im qualified for. I have 7 certifications for IT that I worked hard for, and none of it means squat anymore when I can put through an application, then be given a pity interview because the company just hired the person who interviewed before me, or I dont "fit the image" of the company once they see me. And that's not even touching the clients I work with now thst claim I know nothing about my job when I give them instructions, only for a male coworker to give the same instructions and be treated respectfully.

And lately, its getting exhausting. And sometimes, it makes me wish I wasn't trans because maybe things would be easier

#self rant #vent post #probably will delete later #just needed to get a few things off my chest #but god being trans is exhausting

[seat-safety-switch]

One of my friends is a detailer. In case you're not familiar with car-person lingo, this means that they clean other folks' cars for money. This involves an array of complex and expensive chemicals, special tools, and a neurotic eye for even the tiniest imperfection. So naturally, it's not a great fit for me, even if you could use a random-orbital polisher to take a rust hole the size of a Lhasa Apso out of a door panel.

I would have absolutely no use for his services, except that sometimes - at pure random, it appears - the universe provides me with what I would call a "nice car." Some of these cars, I believe, could fetch upwards of two thousand dollars when sold on Craigslist, and as such are far too good for me to own and inevitably ruin. In order to guarantee the best possible return, potential buyers like to see their new purchase all spiffed up and shiny.

Last week, a 2003 Cavalier landed in my collection, as part of some distant half-aunt's third-cousin permanently moving to Paraguay in order to flee the taxman. I was given vague instructions to "get rid of it" and saw an opportunity to finally have enough pocket cash to splurge in the HELP! aisle at the Canadian Tire. Window regulator bushings, here I come... when they're on sale, of course.

After driving this minty cream puff over to my buddy's place, and making small talk, he immediately began the laborious task of Shop-Vaccing about thirty pounds of calcified Wendy's wrappers out of the passenger seat footwell. I was amazed to see that there was an actual intact metal floor underneath all this, assuming at first it had been some sort of outsider-art papier-mache rust repair. For a moment, I had a pang of regret to be shuffling such a fine vehicle off to a buyer.

Of course, because this whole thing is what they call a "profit deal," I gave instructions to my buddy to stop at around the point where the job became too expensive to return big dividends for your ol' pal Switchy. After seven minutes exactly, he turned off the Shop Vac and told me to get the fuck out, which I gleefully did. I drove home in the lap of luxury, practically chattering with joy at how the radio was able to pick up stations all on its own, without having to lean out of the car at highway speeds to adjust the antenna.

At home, the buyer I had arranged was already waiting for me, and they looked elated to see such a clean commuter vehicle. They were a Wise Consumer; this would be a good purchase that would carry their sondaughter through tradecollege. I didn't have to say much about the car, as my obvious enthusiasm for it having all of its windows was infectious. Soon, I had a fat stack of twenties in my hand, and the new owner was happily blazing through second gear on their way out of my community.

A couple weeks later, I got a phone call. Now, you see, this guy wasn't the most robust vehicle inspector I've ever met. When I look at a car, I at least try to check the trunk for any of my relatives who might have been extrajudicially assassinated by a freelance tax collector. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, there's a lot of room for leverage in the subsequent negotiation.

#chevrolet #chevrolet cavalier

[transromanticism]

tag game!

i was tagged by @mettetowley thank you!!

NAMED AFTER SOMEONE? uhh not really? first part is just to make it sound cool, second part is kinda bc of [redacted]

LAST TIME YOU CRIED? last week but almost cried yesterday (and today)

DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS? lmao nope

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? not really, only when i’m angry tbh

WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? don’t even remember anymore

EYE COLOR? dark brown :pleasedemoji:

SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING? happy ending, unless it’s a scary? movie

ANY SPECIAL TALENT? not really jsksjjsks sorry to dissapoint

WHAT COUNTRY WERE YOU BORN IN? BRASIL-SIL-SIL-SIL-SIL

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? graphic making and drawing + writing but not really

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yup a lhasa apso

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE PLAYED? i swam for some years and practiced karate too

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′2 i think? something like tat it’s been a while since i checked

FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL? history, art (history), and geopolitics (and biology + sociology occasionaly)

DREAM JOB? humanities teacher/professor or writer-illustrator

tagging @it2017 @jmccarstairs @goaltender @evakant @thegretagerwig and anyone who wants to

#g: tagging game #about.me

[cbucks-fitness]

17

rules: answer 17 questions, tag 17 people

tagged by @the-series-of !

nickname: cbucks

zodiac sign: sagittarius

height: 5′5″

Hogwarts house: honestly can’t remember it’s either gryffindor or hufflepuff hahaha

last thing I googled: "what kind of dog is norbert the therapy dog” (sidenote he’s thought to be a mix of chihuahua, cairn terrier, and lhasa apso!)

song stuck in my head: streets by doja cat

following and followers: following 298 people and have 9,248 followers (p sure 95% of those are bots LOL)

last blog I followed: @intothewildirun

last one that followed me: @loving-the-running

amount of sleep I get: when I’m at school probably like 7.5 hours a night, now that I’m home and don’t have to go anywhere for classes it’s closer to 9 hours hahaha

lucky number(s): 24!

dream job: veterinarian.....currently thinking of small animal exotic, wildlife, and conservation with international work sooooo one day I’ll have it figured out!

wearing: shorts and a high school track sweatshirt while also wrapped in a blanket

favourite songs: streets by doja cat, nobody knows by russ (when i’m feeling emo), sugar by brockhampton (when i’m missing the boy), crybaby by blonds, i miss the old u by blackbear

instruments: i played piano for a few years but i’m very rusty, also played clarinet for 8 years but stopped in high school :(

random facts: i’m bad at this when i’m put on the spot and i’ve been doing nothing but study anatomy and immunology so sorry for this fact BUT elephants have a prehensile penis!

aesthetic: mostly just my athletic clothes because I never feel like wearing anything else!

tagging: @championsaremade @run-bassel @jacqattacq @usualchatter @senioryeargains @trackgirltuesday y’all are peeps that I know are active on here and I think you’re pretty cool!!

thanks for the tag @the-series-of :) I love these!

#personal

[batmansymbol]

@montpahrnah tagged me in a meme to say goodbye to the 2010s!! thank you eve <3

the decade is ending, what’s changed for you in these past ten years?

have you moved?

i have, a few times. i left North Carolina for college in Ohio, then moved back south to Raleigh, then to NYC, then to Chicago. i’ve always felt pretty rootless, first because of having no family in the US and now because my job can go anywhere. in the upcoming decade i’d like to find somewhere that properly feels like a home, where i can feel restful, with no drive to pick up and go. or maybe i should commit to a nomadic lifestyle, give away all my possessions, and move every two months, before the panic that i’m wasting myself in some way sets in

have you graduated?

yes, from high school and then from undergrad. i doubt i’ll ever go back to formal education, although i’d love to take classes here and there! i’d especially love to learn more tactile and useful skills.

has your marital status changed?

hahaha absolutely not

has your parental status changed?

it has not

has your hair color changed?

i did a red ombre after graduation and then blue tips when i was working for the democrats. now i think i’m done experimenting in terms of hair. i like it long and natural, and i like when the only thing that happens to it is my mom trimming my split ends onto the kitchen floor.

has your job changed?

yes, sure has. i was a restaurant hostess in high school, and now i am an author. i also wrote for the Onion this decade, another former dream. i love what i do and always will, but i’ll probably also always wonder what else could be on the horizon, and if/how i could make a bigger positive change in the world.

has your otp changed?

yes - i have basically left behind my tomione days, and the johnlock phase between i guess... 2011-14? lol. these days i read more ginny/luna and remus/sirius and jaime/brienne, but i don’t really hunt down pairings the way i used to. i mean, one of my favorite pieces of writing from this decade is this charlie weasley/pansy parkinson fic. if an amazing writer writes it, i’m on board.

has your pet status changed?

(this isn’t a happy answer so skip it if you hate to read about pet death) in 2010, my family had 3 cats and 2 dogs: a calico (Zanzibar), two tabbies (Suki and Finn), a german shepherd (Juno), and a lhasa apso (Buddy). only one of them is still alive. Finn got PTSD after part of our house blew up in a gas explosion and he wound up running away. Suki died from diabetic complications, and Juno got cancer at the same time that most of Buddy’s systems failed from old age.

Zanzibar, though, is still living with my sister. she’s nineteen years old, deaf, and loves to yowl/scream at the top of her lungs. my sister and her boyfriend lavish her with stupid amounts of affection and never stop talking about her. whenever i think about pets, i remember this from zadie smith’s essay “joy”:

A final thought: sometimes joy multiplies itself dangerously. Children are the infamous example. Isn’t it bad enough that the beloved, with whom you have experienced genuine joy, will eventually be lost to you? Why add to this nightmare the child, whose loss, if it ever happened, would mean nothing less than your total annihilation? It should be noted that an equally dangerous joy, for many people, is the dog or the cat, relationships with animals being in some sense intensified by guaranteed finitude. You hope to leave this world before your child. You are quite certain your dog will leave before you do. Joy is such a human madness.

what new places did you visit?

too many to list, tbh. hong kong, where we visited my mom’s cousin and i nearly passed out from hiking up a mountain in 100-degree heat. columbus, ohio, where i saw the vvitch in theaters with a group of five people who will never spend time together again, after which we went to Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers and talked in a particleboard booth for a couple hours before driving back to college. rocky mount, NC, where on election day in 2016 i frantically drove two voters to the polls and really really thought everything was going to turn out differently

what is an accomplishment you are proud of?

this is hard. i think i’ve become more self-aware and less self-centered over the last decade, but i don’t want to call that an accomplishment because i think the catalysts for those changes weren’t increased efforts at wisdom or nobility but rather just various forms of emotional or interpersonal damage.

my career is probably the best part of my life, but to be honest, i have a tough time saying i’m proud of any of my writing because i always want to forget i was involved with any of it. in retrospect it always feels alternately immature or pretentious, or in some other way critically flawed.

it makes me sad that i could list about fifty things that i’m ashamed of from this decade, but am grasping for one thing that brings me unqualified pride. i guess in many ways i feel that i’ve never meaningfully struggled, and in fact have fucked up over and over again, and so the idea of feeling pride rather than gratitude (or even like... you know, repentance) would basically be an act of narcissism. i know that’s not how this works, but wow, i’m feeling a lot at the end of this decade, and this is a lot of it.

ok. have sat on it for a couple hours. there’s a song i wrote in 2014 called Ohio, and that’s what i’m proud of. after five years i still think it’s a good song.

sending love to everyone for your new years and your goodbyes to the old years. :) <3

tagging @pkmndaisuki @uchihabat @mechanical-orange @tomriddlejr @thymoss @cocoartistwrites @captocie @goldentulips @ibuzoo @letter2hermione @muggleriddle​ and YOU if you would like to!

#about me #personal #long post #highly important text posts

[purplesurveys]

841

All About the Letter L

Please List! (at least one) Animals I Like: Lions, lemurs, lamb, and a special mention to Lhasa Apsos because Gabie’s family has one, even though Harley never particularly liked me haha. Foods I Like: LUMPIA, liempo, lasagna, and lobster.    I Know Someone Who’s (jobs): Lab assistant, librarian, lawyer, and lecturer. I Wouldn’t Mind Visiting: Luxembourg, Laos, and Lisbon, Portugal. Sometimes I Feel: Lethargic, let-down, lonely.

Music I Listen To: Lady Gaga, LANY, Lauv, Lykke Li, Lianne La Havas, and Lea Salonga. Movies I’ve Seen: Love Actually, The Little Mermaid, Lolita, Lucy, Life is Beautiful, Les Misérables. Names I Like: Lily, Lorin, Loretta, Lucia. And now, onto the random questions! 1. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house before? Not on purpose. Once when I was in fourth grade the school bus dropped me off but there was no one home (at that point I wasn’t given my own key yet) so my sister and I had to wait around half an hour till someone got back home. Other times I always had a house key with me. 2. Do you like green leaves or autumn colored leaves? Idk we don’t get autumn, so I’ll go with green. 3. Are you a sore loser at games? Yeaaaaaaaah haha it’s an ugly fucking trait of mine. I’ve treated everything like a competition for as long as I can remember and I was the worst kid to play with. 4. Are you a good listener? Yes. I prefer to listen than to do the talking, so I’ve gotten better at it through the years. 5. Who do you like? Who do you love? I like my friends; I love my dogs and my girlfriend. 6. Lamps - do you have wall ones, table ones, or freestanding tall ones in your house? My parents have wall lamps in their room. My mom was actually looking at floor lamps for the living room just recently, but she didn’t push through with buying one, idk why. 7. How often do you use the library? Back in my first year it was my sanctuary because I had no friends. The library was the only place where you can be alone and not feel judged for it. When my circle got bigger, I’d only go there to print stuff and that happened at least once a week. 8. Do you own a label maker? Do you label everything to stay organized? No, I don’t own one. Funny how my favorite TV characters – Monica Geller and Amy Santiago – both have a penchant for being organized and have their own label makers though haha. 9. Do you prefer lip gloss or lipstick? Lip gloss. Lipstick has always looked too strong on me. 10. Have you ever done the limbo? As a kid. It’s not a common game here but because we saw it a lot when we’d watch kids’ shows from the west, my siblings, cousins, and I would play it. 11. Have you ever played “The Floor is Lava”? Sure. 12. Is YOUR mama a llama? An occasionally emotionally abusive one, sure. 13. Do you lick your ice cream or just bite into it like some sort of savage? I take forever to eat ice cream so I’ve learned to bite it so that it doesn’t end up dripping all over my hands. 14. Do you know anyone who has lung cancer? Walter White. Hahaaaaaaa seriously though, no one. 15. Have you ever gotten lost before? Yeah, but those instances were nothing Waze couldn’t fix. I think I’d get an anxiety attack if I ever got legitimately lost with no map or app to help me. 16. Do you lounge around like a lazy sloth? If I know I’ve earned the right to, yes. 17. What little things make you happy? Driving through green lights, seeing a smiley face on my Starbucks cup, kind strangers, free cuts, finding a top I thought I’ve lost, babies waving at me. 18. Are you a loud or quiet person? I can be both, depending on who I’m with, what the circumstances are, and how comfortable I am. 19. What do you like to eat for lunch? I’ve skipped on lunch since March since my family eats breakfast really late lol. But back in school, since I’m usually on the go during lunch hours, I’ll just get a plate of instant noodles with a side of kwek-kwek. 20. Are you a list-maker? Yaaas. Love lists. 21. Have you ever had lice? Just when I was around 10 when I still played outside.  22. How much weight can you lift? I’m a really small person so not a lot, but by the end of my PE class last year I was able to deadlift either 80 or 90 lbs, I’m not sure which. It’s not a big number but I weigh 90 lbs myself sksksksk so I’m happy enough with being able to lift my own weight haha. 23. The last pair of shoes you wore - did they have laces? Yep. 24.  Do you litter? Never. 25.  Have you ever written or received a love letter? No, actually. Gab has other ways of expressing herself so I’m okay with it. 26. Are you a liar? How often do you tell lies? I’m honestly quite incapable of lying. I can say little white lies like “I liked your article” but anything beyond that I just feel too guilty doing. 27.  what do you do when you feel low on energy? Spend time with Kimi, get away from my phone, and lie down somewhere. 28.  Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? I haven’t. 29.  How often do you do laundry? My parents do it once a week. 30. How many languages can you speak fluently? Two. With enough context clues I can read a bit of Spanish and Cebuano, but I definitely can’t speak them. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

#survey #surveys

[zozammer]

On Contradiction

This is what discomfort looks like.

The incapability to accept love and the simultaneous longing for such.

It’s where I am. 

Incapable of progressing post a fifth date with a human. I seem to be a traveller with people, and while it works, it is fairly detached albeit ick-free. I read cues very quickly and label the jars even quicker. We make mechanised Galateas with silicone breasts and entire dictionaries with (so far so amicable) words put together.

And here are the labels that drive me away almost immediately:

Crazy. 

This is just basically telling me that you’re telling me that we are never going to understand each other on a level. So cheers, I am reading your subconscious loud and clear. What my subconscious is doing, is withdrawing and wondering. Wondering whether I am actually crazy and if I’ll ever be okay. Wondering what I’ve apparently done to inspire such a label. Have I keyed your car or TP’d your house? Have I stalked you or something? I’m sorry. What would you define as crazy? I find this word slightly offensive and I don’t see why I should make the effort to ‘own’ it. I may ignore it out of sheer rationalism and the understanding that this (circular hand gestures pointing towards torso and chest area) is just not in your vocabulary.

Usually crazy is subconsciously related to words such as 

weird, intense, rebellious, depressed, ill-tempered, volatile, obsessed, paranoid, promiscuous, black sheep, loner, strange. This is of course the gentler end of the rainbow. Some people can be real nut jobs and sometimes love does make you super crazy. Passion is what they used to call it.

I’m tired of myself and people, (recurring theme I am aware). Because I love people and yet, I can’t seem to bond. Find that person I can just be around. Someone who’s not going to trample on me at the slightest whiff of imperfection. Someone who’s not going to play games with me and act selfishly... This is impossible today. And I include myself in the problem. 

I can’t seem to make that connection. Because I don’t like to lie. I don’t like to make you think I’m something else. I’ve been loved and hated. I’ve been pushed and pulled. Had the best of friends and also the worst. Have been the best kind of friend and also the worst. So I’m sorry that I remember. And I'm sorry that I own all of it. Not sorry. No shoving under the rug; I like my floors clean.

Haven’t met someone with a wicked sense of humour and a forgiving, humble heart, topped with the loyalty of a great dane/lhasa apso since college. 

Do I have a wicked sense of humour? Well, if I trust you.

Do I have a forgiving, humble heart? After six months maybe hah. Takes that long to rationalise the truly c***y stuff (for me personally). Sometimes, that’s all that’s left - the rationalisations. Of me and the story. 

Do I have the loyalty of an Apso? Only if I know that you’ll stand with me when no one else is standing. That’s my gauge. 

Am I capable of normal conversation? Honestly, I don’t know. It’s a trust thing. Normalcy is a trust thing. Also please refer to Seth Godin’s “We Are All Weird”. Fun insights. 

Hard, but this stage is better. Better than three years ago. Will be better in the coming three. It’s where I am. It’s where I am. It’s where I am. 

I have been told that I think about myself too much; it’s probably true. I’m working on it. Trying to read and learn more instead for my 2019 and years to come.

Peace

#love #friendship #hello my twenties #late twenties #trust #loners

[fortanach]

name.         lady. gender.       female size.            small age.             eight weeks. breed.         lhasa apso energy.      7/10 groom.      10/10 low mat.    5/10 

claire accidentally adopted a rut of a litre puppy from her friend, however, turns out this pup has a lot more kick than anything else. however, with her job the pup has to go to doggy daycare a lot or to a friends house, however, whenever she is home, she spends most of her time with the pup, walks around the park, new toys constantly, her house is constantly messy with the amount of destroyed soft toys, this little thing has done.

#𝙲𝙻𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙴'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴𝚂 :: headcanons. #yup I USED MY OWN DOG FOR REF #GOTTA ADD HER IN FICTION TOO

[seaglassandsanddollars]

*Barking of the Dogs

 As an adult, in every place I have ever lived there have been dog issues.  The issues were always mine, but only once the dog was.  As a child and teen, there were various family dogs but I never participated in their care and barely acknowledged their existence. I was a cat person and took consistent care of the cats and labeled them as mine.  

I like dogs, really, as long as their friendly, allow me to talk baby talk to them, don’t expect me to walk them, and especially, don’t expect me to pick up after them.  The one dog I owned as an adult was exceptional.  He was a Lhasa Apso named Sam and he was the sweetest most loving dog you could imagine.  I miss him every day.

I didn’t have another dog after Sam because it didn’t seem fair to a dog with my work schedule.  A cat was more conducive.  I love cats so our family pet Tigger years later, was a perfect fit.  For nineteen years he never failed to be the perfect family pet.  I miss him every day also.  

During Tigger’s lifetime, we lived in two different homes but between selling the first and buying the second, we rented for nine months.  There were dog issues in each one.  It’s like, dogs knew I couldn’t have one and were laughing at me.  Paranoid?  Indeed. I believe they mocked me.

In my first home I owned, Sam lived until I carried my son.  After Dave was born the neighbor in the back allowed his dog to be tied up all night outside; not the brightest person in the world.  The dog, understandably, barked most of the night.  So, the next day I sent my husband to speak to the man and the dog never barked again.  It takes a man; not!

Divorce happened several years later and that is when Tigger came to be a part of our little family. A close friend and neighbor moved out of the home next door and a new neighbor moved in with two dogs, a husband, and a couple kids.  I tried to be nice, but, well, she really wasn’t which added to the barking aggravation. It made it worse. The world should know that being nice goes very far and softens any aggravation a person’s existence may bring.  So, I had to speak to the husband since I didn’t have one of my own to do the dirty work and from that point on the neighbor stopped letting the dogs out at six am.  We compromised on 730…my wake-up time.  Battle won, war still waging.

The dogs next-door were two black labs and that breed can be snotty if they feel their territory threatened in any way.  Fortunately, their yard bordered my garage and a small section of fencing; another battle won.  Dogs barked intermittently and their owners continued to prove to be distasteful, to say the least.  Strange would be accurate, selfish appropriate.

Finally, it was time to sell my home in a good market and move on and appropriately for me, closer to the beach.  Our current home had been a two-mile car ride to the closest beach and I wanted to be able to ride our bikes there.  My son was basically growing up in the back seat of my car as he was transported from event to event and place to place.  He wanted to learn to surf and a beach house would be apropos.  So, we packed up and began a grand adventure searching for the perfect beach house.

While on our journey we moved to a winter rental in another shore town.  There were no dogs, at first.  So quiet was this uptight seashore community that I enjoyed the brief solitude and introspection.  A fierce snowstorm settled in that winter and almost immediately dog poo showed up along the street curbs, everywhere.  Even in the snottiest towns of America, with the highest fines for lack of pooper scooping, people can be lazy if they think no one will notice.  I garnered solace from the fact that we would not be living there forever.

The winter rental was up and the house I had in attorney review had to be canceled or rather, run away from.  The new home was the Manasquan, lagoon home I thought I wanted with the intentions that my son could have his own boat and enjoy a season or two at the shore, but I panicked at the last minute when the inspection report came in.  The only good thing about the house was that it did not have termites and that was only because termites can’t swim.  The next rental was a bomb, but it was summer at the shore and that was just the way it was.  At least no dogs were there, but that should have been my first clue.  Not even the dogs would live here.

I found our second home but the sellers could not move for two months.  Battle won; war ongoing.  I could not take one more second in our summer shack and moved in with a ‘friend’ in her huge shore home in one of the richest communities at the shore, with her dog.  I have friend in air quotes because this was not a gift, this was a deal.  I took care of her mother over the following winter, something I did not have time for and should not have been expected to do. Some friends are thieves in disguise. Dog=thieving ‘friend’= war ongoing.  

That dog barked like a banshee but was friendly, most of the time.  It was what it was.  Our bird died while we lived there.  He knew.

We took occupation of the second home October first.  The next-door neighbor moved in about a month before us.  They had a nasty, small, black, mixed breed that barked like an idiot. It wasn’t for protection; this was the suburbs.  It was rude and nasty like them.

I tried everything. The silent dog bark eliminator beeper I bought online for $40 worked for a little while.  Eight long years later, after yelling, bitching, pissing, and moaning, I finally called the cops.  The neighbors had gone out and left the dog outside to bark at 1130 at night, waking me up two hours before I had to get up at 2 am for a commercial job I had just picked up.  I ran into a local policeman at the post office and told him what happened.  He said I should have called years ago. Battle won.  War still engaged.  

I sold that house under an intense amount of stress and financial loss.  I was heartbroken, wrecked, and totally disillusioned.  It was under this cloud of sadness and depression that I moved to a dog less neighborhood a half hour south.  There was no relief, no war concessions, no ending, just coping.  There were no dogs to comfort, distract, or annoy me.  Life got very quiet.  Then Sandy rolled into and through my life, literally and figuratively.

I moved in with family for nine months.  There were two dogs there.  Then one. Then two.  Now one.  I loved each of these dogs and still, love the last one.  They were all kind, sweet, loving, comforting, and I miss not living with them.  The neighborhood dogs there, however, left a lot to be desired.  It seems that people move into a rural area and believe that anything goes.  Sometimes they believe their dogs should be allowed to run free throughout the woods that border all these new neighborhoods.  As long as I made it safely from the car to the house without incident, I considered it a good day.

Time moved on and so did I, this time very alone.  My son was growing quickly through the stages of his life and no longer lived with me. I suppose it was a good thing since I no longer had a house but instead lived in a one-bedroom apartment.  Life changed but the war raged on.  

The new apartment was a garage apartment in a bucolic atmosphere that had a yappy tiny toy poodle with a man that used to push her around the neighborhood in a pink carriage.  I don’t know which was worse; his obnoxious wife, him, the dog, the carriage, or his belching every morning the minute he opened the back door.  It was the music of my morning as I sat on my north facing upper deck.  

There were no dogs on the other side of my apartment, just an old man I had a running feud with until the last two months I lived there.  We are now Besties.  Coincidence? I think not.  There was, however, a big black Lab behind me that the owner rarely made sure stayed in the yard.  I heard a rustle and a growl during my last four months there.  I looked over the railing and he looked up at me and started to wag his tail and pant.  A message? Absolutely!  Time to go.  I was purging.  Clearing out the cancerous cells, the bad vibes, the alcoholics I used to allow in my life, the sadness, the helplessness, the misguiding thinking, and the lessons learned.  Battle won; war continued.

Now I look at the ocean from all the east facing windows in my multi-level apartment.  It’s beautiful.  I watch the sunrise.  I watch the birds.  I’m on top of the world and under a hot tub.  I brought beautiful energy to this little neighborhood and the opportunity to clear out the heaviness that had festered here without anyone’s knowledge.

It’s quiet in the winter. Too quiet.  When spring finally comes, the neighborhood bursts with life. All the birds return with the people. I wake up before sunrise, open my door to nowhere, and look out over the I love, for now.  This is the someplace that allows me to listen to beautiful morning doves until the new Labradoodle puppy next door is let out to pee at 615am and then yelps for twenty minutes until he is let back in.  He had an older brother that was there last year greeting me every morning and telling me to get my lazy ass out of bed and enjoy life. After all, the sun was about to rise, the battles were won, my comrades in arms were still with me, and the wars were all over.