#anyways. time to go study for my math test tmrw :)

[iknowitwontwork]

How are you doing, bestie?

mehhhhhhh

#i also have to study for this english test tmrw and i dont wanna but i'll go in some time #and make bio diagrams i think?? and math assignment #all this i have to do before tmrw :// #and i feel like just lying in my bed and rotting + i had 5 hrs of sleep lmao #anyway hru #asks #jake<3 #the loveliest mutuals💕✨

[spocks-kaathyra]

worst part of being stressed is that it gives u so much to introspect about and no time to do that introspection

#seeing my worst traits come out and not having the time or energy to process that before having to move onto the next thing 👍👍 #can u tell finals week is kicking my ass. #I am the worst most selfish irresponsible immature person on earth + I will never be able to function in society #+ I will never be loved how I want + that's good and right bc it would be asking far too much + in fact it's immoral for me to want it #+ being unable to function is actually a moral failing bc it's not just hurting me but everyone around me #+ it's repulsive to them and it should be bc it's a morally repugnant trait #+ thinking this way is just another example of my self-centeredness and laziness and unwillingness to take responsibility for my actions #+ I resent these things abt myself but I'm not willing to put in the work to change them + that makes me the worst kind of person #omg this is soooooo grantaire core I'm so grantaire coded rn #anyways. time to go study for my math test tmrw :) #vent

[bobaa-tea]

25.01.17 || 4/100 days of productivity

doing some of my geog homework & bio revision today. i have bio test tmrw which is testing like 16 chapters and im left with a lot of chapters to go omg help

-

anyway kinda upset today bc i failed my math test last time (which i studied rlly hard for) & today was the retest but i did really bad once again (aND I GOT TRICKED AGAIN BY THE QNS) sigh but i guess i’ll try harder next time !!

#studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo #study #study notes #bioblr #study motivation #acadehmic #aescademic #mochistudies #bookmrk #hardworkign #trstudies #nahstudies #notesworthtea #studyquill #steudious

[flameaurasphere]

080218

Dear Diary,

I never thought I’d say this word because it’s too strong an adjective (if you’ve read The Giver, you may understand the reference), but I feel depressed. 

I almost feel ashamed & inadequate for saying that because I don’t suffer from clinical depression.

I didn’t know what I was doing last night and I was too tired to figure it out, so I went to bed with this guilty/sick feeling in me and (reluctantly) anticipated my doom that awaited the next morning (aka this morning). One of the worst feelings a human could possibly experience is knowing that you’re hopelessly screwed for life. I’m beginning to question my existence & worth in this world. Ever since I moved out, I’ve been (unsuccessfully) redefining what “home” means to me. Does a sense of belonging stem from the place or the people? Furthermore, my grades aren’t ideal and I can’t quite understand why I’m under-performing in areas that I should be passing with flying colours. God, I just want to do well in school, is that too much to ask for? At this point, idk what else could go wrong in my life. I mean, I’ve been through tougher times before, but in this case, I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I’m having these negative thoughts because I’m overwhelmed by stress, but I’m afraid that they will persist and affect my focus to study.

Anyway, to make me feel better (or worse) than I already am, I did one of those fake ass online quizzes from a therapy website (https://www.7cups.com/free-emotional-wellness-test/) and here are the results:

DEPRESSION: 47% (Moderate) ANXIETY: 28% (Mild) STRESS: 47% (Moderate) LGBTQ+ ISSUES: 88% (Severe) 🤔🤔

Oh well, on a lighter note, tmrw is the last day of my first academic year in polytechnic. Just 2h more of media finance (aka math aka POA aka cancer) to endure. Yeehaw. 🙃

~Flameaura

#diary #dear diary #flameaura