#anyways thank u for joining my horse Ted talk

[jackals-ships]

@wulfums SKYRIM HORSE MY LOVES

okay but tbh i Do actually like the Skyrim horses more both bc their general design fits into the lore imo + they. actually are built mostly like horse

like using frost my beloved as an example they read to me like draft horses Specifically Clydesdales (pointing at their fuzzy little feets like :) hoovsies) which fits bc they're supposed to be very hardy little guys! and are also Big which helps on the farms and running from dragons

comparisons to irl draft horse

rlly my Main nitpick is the necks could stand to be a lil thicker + the rump slopes a little that makes me go hmmm. could be just a Little higher

but the legs don't make me recoil in horror and thats the most important thing HKFKF-

however i WILL briefly also complain about the tack bc the bridle Does work technically but it's missing a couple straps that make me go "hm that could be A Little more secure" + his saddle either doesn't have a blanket under it OR the blanket is the same texture used as the saddle?? so he gets a neutral point there just bc im not sure (and like yeah you CAN put it directly on the horse but it's gonna get dirtier faster + my agriculture classes live in my head in that regard HFKKD)

#jackals barks #wulf tag #altho the legs are a Little off but it's close enough that i dont like. IMMEDIATELY notice. jus notice after staring like 👁️👁️ #anyways thank u for joining my horse Ted talk

[queeranerys]

the last time i watched lord of the rings i was struck by how often legolas stares longingly or lovingly at aragorn so here is the alternate romance subplot that exactly one person asked for

arwen and aragorn are like, sibs. they grew up together in rivendell and are brother and sister. she can still comfort him about being isildur’s heir and the legacy of wanting the ring, etc etc etc, but it’s not sexy whispering anymore!

legolas, longtime fan of aragorn, joins the fellowship mostly because he can't let a dwarf go along unsupervised and unchallenged, but also bc hot crunchy ranger man said "you have my sword" "WOW that was hot and you have my bow!!"

arwen gives aragorn the evenstar necklace, which i’ve decided was a betrothal necklace that elrond gifted to celebrian (arwen’s mother) when they got engaged, and she tells him to keep it in case that cute blond sylvan elf turns out to be more than a pretty face

legolas sees aragorn wearing this thing and assumes he’s got a beloved back home, but also can’t stop himself from them good old longing glances. he’s a simple boi with simple needs

aragorn returns them ofc but legolas is like “he’s just being nice”

aragorn tumbles over the cliff and legolas gets the necklace from that orc. he takes it really hard. gimli makes him meditate for a bit to steady himself (since elves don’t sleep) and he dreams of aragorn

we still have the breath of life sequence because viggo mortensen worked too hard for those shots for me to even consider removing them from the vision in my brain

aragorn dreams of legolas, coming back from the brink of death to the soft sound of “may the grace of the valar protect you” and the brush of lips on his own

(it’s the horse, but maybe it was legolas)

aragorn, with the aid of brego, drags his bloodied and battered ass to helm’s deep and pushes the doors open like the dramatic sexy bitch he is (this doesn’t change i just thought i’d remind everyone of that Very Excellent Moment)

legolas tries to be cool about aragorn not being dead but squishes him with a big hug anyway

he gives aragorn the necklace back, but aragorn, knowing what this necklace means to him and rivendell elves, is like “oh fuck oh fuck he’s pROPOSING??? i mean he’s cute and hell yeah but it’s not a great time legolas” and kinda mumbles a thank you but um hmmm and runs off to go bother theoden

eowyn sees all of this go down and is like “okay so that’s gonna be a dead end for sure”

this is why legolas is a pissbaby for the rest of the lead-up to the battle at helm’s deep

so when he’s like “forgive me, i was wrong to despair” aragorn is like “there’s nothing to forgive. i mean, let’s talk about this maybe....after the ring is destroyed... or at the very least after this battle is over” 

legolas: talk about what

aragorn:....this betrothal necklace....

legolas: it’s yours. i pulled it off the orc that watched you go off the cliff. i wanted it to be safe in case you came back or in case you didn’t and your betrothed wanted it

aragorn: my w h a t

legolas: aragorn i know what a betrothal necklace looks like. 

aragorn: my sister gave this to me

legolas: wait what

anyway they figure it out and all is well and they’re cute and the battle happens

the rest of the plot isn’t that different EXCEPT

if we want a “dying elf as motivation to defeat the bad guy” the one dying is elrond, he’s old as balls and can take it

arwen is the one who brings anduril to aragorn :)

before the final battle, legolas kisses aragorn and says like “idk if my dad is down with this, but if we survive this i’m marrying the fuck out of you” and aragorn is like :) :) :) :*

the coronation bit

aragorn makes his way down the aisle in the crowd like normal la di da except where legolas was in the movie, he pats eowyn on the shoulder instead

behind the white tree banner is legolas, in the sweetest tunic you ever saw, flanked by his fancy dad, who nods at aragorn like “all good dude” and we still get the very sweet bow-touch-the-chin-unsure-looks-but-then-passionate-kiss-and-hug thing and the rest is the same and they’re in love and it’s beautiful. anyway. 

thank u for coming to my ted sandyman talk

#lord of the rings #aragorn/legolas #aragorn x legolas #legolas #aragorn #theyre gay and in love #i dont make the rules